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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Animal byproduct?
[Inkspot] Yes, an animal product.
Food for humans?
[Rosie] Yum? Bleah.
A stuffed animal (taxidermist wise)?
Is it from the male and female?
[Dujon] (applause)Taxidermy is involved.
[Inkspot] Could be from either.
Is the answer of the form "an <animal><part of animal>" (e.g., a moose head)?
[CdM] *applause*! That is included in the answer.
A stuffed moose head?
An elephant's foot umbrella stand?
[Projoy] Not a moose.
[CdM] *wild cheering* The very words on the card! One Victorian sword-stick passed on.
eeeek! Sorry. My internets access is intermittent right now. Let me set an easy one.
MINERAL with ANIMAL connections
*audience laughter, with a second wave of laughter as the first one is dying down*
Is the mineral man-made?
Is the mineral physically connected to the animal?
Something to do with sex?
A parrot-handle umbrella?
A cast-iron elephant's foot umbrella stand?
Man-made? Could be. *audience laughter*
Physically connected to the animal? Well, yes. But then again, no. *audience laughter*
To do with sex? Well, er, it could be, though it is probably fair to say, not normally. *audience laughter* Not that I am passing any judgment on what is normal, you understand. *audience laughter*
Parrot-handle umbrella? No.
Cast-iron efus? No.
Is it bigger than a shoe box?
Bigger than a shoebox? The question is not really meaningful.
I mean, *chastity* belt?
Very strange, I posted with a misprint, hence the correction, which seems to have overwritten the original.
Probably just clicked Preview by mistake.
Chestity belt? Charity belt? Elastity belt? No.
Is this a substance, or substances, as opposed to an object?
Substance? Yes. *applause*
My God, it's not a turd, is it?
Looks like ... smells like ... tastes like ... thank god I didn't step in it...? No, but *sustained audience applause and laughter*
You're not taking the piss, are you?
Bogies?
And I don't mean those four-wheel assemblages you find under railway carriages.
Does it begin with...?
Urine is the word on the card. One Andres Serrano representation of a baton returned to Raak.
Let me try to raise the tone with this M I N E R A L and A B S T R A C T.
Ancient Greek sculpture?
A work of art?
Bigger than a toaster?
[Raak] Shurely your winning question last round should have been "Does it begin with pee"
[I] The audience applauds, but only for your good taste. Not ancient Greek sculpture.
[R] In a sense, yes.
[ISP] Bigger than a toaster.
On reflection, I think the ABSTRACT is inaccurate, and this should be classified simply as MINERAL.
A natural geographical feature?
[Inkspot] Not natural.
A building?
A bridge?
[Rosie] Yes! A building.
[I] Not a bridge.
In Europe?
[Néa] In Europe.
Built after 1900?
[I] Not built after 1900.
In Britain?
[I] Yes, in Britain.
Open to the public?
[Rosie] Partly open to the public.
Prehistoric?
[Néa] Not prehistoric.
A religious place?
In narrow sense, excludes banks, sports grounds,....
The Houses of Parliament?
[Inkspot] Not a religious place.
[Irouléguy] Not the H of P.
In England?
[Néa] In England.
St Pancras Station?
Would this edifice be a tourist attraction?
[Rosie] Not St. Pancras.
[Dujon] Quite possibly, I'm not sure.
Is it a residence?
In southern England?
Using the 'south of a line drawn between the Wash and the Severn' definition.
[Inkspot] Not a residence.
[Irouléguy] In southern England.
By the seaside?
[ISP] Not by the seaside.
In London?
Built before 1800?
[Inkspot] Built before 1800.
Do you have to pay to go in?
[Rosie] (laughter from the audience) Quite the reverse.
(I note an assumption of present tense that might usefully be questioned.)
Newgate debtors' prison?
[I] Not Newgate.
Is it still standing?
[Inkspot] Partly.
A prison?
Ahem - my London question hasn't had an answer yet.
A fortification?
[Irouéguy] Sorry -- it is/was in London. Not a prison.
[Inkspot] Not a fortification.
Have missing "l".
Built before 1700?
London Bridge?
All stations to Tunbridge Wells West. Join the front coach for Hurst Green Halt.
Built by the Romans?
[I] Not built before 1700.
[R] Not London Bridge.
[I] Not built by the Romans.
Marble Arch?
Is any of it still visible?
[Projoy] Not Marble Arch
[Rosie] Some of it is still visible.
North of the river?
Is it underground?
[I] North of the river. [P] Overground.
Did it commemorate an event?
[I] Not commemorative.
The British Museum?
The British Museum? Pah! Who is this man, he is an insult to me. "It's primary purpose is of course functional". What a load of WILLIES! It's primary purpose is of course sexual. It is a massive assertion of the phallique power of London. These huge columns plunging into Mother Earth!
Highgate cemetary?
Would it have had an address?
i.e. is it a building on a street, or is it in another context?
Is there a health connection?
[ISP on something] Not the BM.
[ISP] Not Highgate.
[Projoy] Yes, a building on a street.
[I] No health connection.
Time for a summary: A building in London, north of the river, built between 1700 and 1800, part of which is still standing. It is (or was) partly open to the public, overground, and on a street. It is not: a religious place, a bridge, the Houses of Parliament, a prison, a fortification, St Pancras Station, Marble Arch, the British Museum or Highgate Cemetery. Nor does it have any health connection. The question “Do you have to pay to go in” produced laughter from the audience and the response “Quite the reverse”.
The bank of England?
Was it the residence of a well-known person?
Did it produce something for sale?
add "Not a residence" to summary.
[I] (applause!) Yes! These very words appear on the card! But that is not the whole answer.
[R] I don't know if any of the Bank of England's officials ever had their residence there.
[I] Not exactly.
Google may be your friend at this pont.
The Temple of Mithras?
(Google is indeed a friend)
[Projoy] Not the Temple of Mithras (which was built too long ago).
Sir John Soane's Bank of England?
[Projoy] The very words on the card. Over to you.
Hm. I should be doing other work, but here's an ABSTRACT .
Sabbatarianism?
[Ig] The very words on the - actually, NO. :)
Human construct?
Is it art?
Related to your work?
[Kim] Among the mighty works of man? YES
[ISP] Is it art? Strictly, NO. *applause*
[Raak] Clever question! Related to my work, YES. *applause*
An artistic technique?
To do with museums?
(Scratch that last, I'm out of date.) Something to do with the theatre?
[Ig] Artistic technique? NOT EXACTLY *small ripple*
[Raak] (I do occasionally still do something in a museum, but not often) To do with theatre? NOT BY DEFINITION (but can be)
(i.e. not intrinsically to do with theatre)
To do with computers?
Computer-related? NO. (again, not intrinsically but could be)
To do with music?
[Raak] Music? YES *muchos applausos*
A particular musical form or format (ie overture, song, duet)?
[Ig] A form or format? NO
A degree in musical composition?
Faculty + Staff? NO
Furry fandom?
Abything to do with technique?
Nearly got it right just then.
[Phil] Furry music? NO
[Rosie] Technique? NO
Begins with P?
..and no, I'm not Lib...
Is this specific to a particular type of music (ie rock, classical, folk)?
[Tuj] Begins with P? PNO
[Ig] Particular type of music? NO, in the sense you give for type(however, it's not universal either).
Is it a specifically musical term, eg a cadenza
[Rosie] YES, tho perhaps in a subtly different way to your e.g.
Is there more than one word on the card?
[Phil] Multiple words? YES
Are any of the words on card in Italian?
Is it to do with electronic music?
[Rosie] Eye, Tie? NO
[Ig] Electronic music? NO (not intrinsically, but could be)
A time signature?
[Rosie] Time signature? NO *some applause*
Musical notation?
[Phil] Notation? NO, tho it does manifest in same.
An accelerando?
[Raak] A fastening? NO
A clef, bass or treble?
Not tenor or alto for they are manifestations of the Marquis de Sade.
[Rosie] Clef? NO *but an eruption of enthusiastic applause from the erudite audience*
Key signature?
[Rosie] YES, it is one key signature... *applause*
B flat?
Slimmer's instruction to stomach? NO
C major?
What Lamont failed to do on Black Wednesday? NO
A Flat Minor?
[Phil] A child under a bulldozer? NO, but soooo close!
A Minor?
[Phil] Not A Minor nor a minor. Getting colder.
A flat major
Surely?
G flat (major)
(Phil) Ab minor? That's bad spelling; it's G# minor. I dunno. You of all people. I suspect your Ab is correct, you bastard. :-)
[Rosie] A flat minor is 7 flats isn't it? And also a very old punchline.
[Phil] Yes, you have it with One Squashed Bandleader. *hands over neat military cork-tipped conductor's baton*
Many thanks - glad to get one again, at last :)

Your next AVMA for consideration and interrogation is ABSTRACT

All together now... a human construct?
A bluesy minor third?
[Projoy] Human construct, dagnammit? YES!
[Rosie] 33% of a depressed child? NO
An idea of the twentieth century?
Related to your work?
[Projoy] 20th century origin? NO
[Irouléguy] Pub-related? NO
Anything to do with music?
Specific to a particular culture?
[Rosie] Musical? NO
[ILG] Specific to a particular culture
YES
An idea from before 1000CE?
[Projoy] <1000AD? NO
Specific to a European culture?
[ILG] A European culture? YES
Specific to British culture?
Converging on . . . . .
[Rosie] British Culture? NO
From before 1500CE?
Specific to a western European culture?
[Projoy] <1500? NO
[Irouléguy] W. Europe? YES
Anything to do with religion?
[Irouléguy] To do with religion? *sharp intake of breath from some audience members* After some thought, officially, NO.
Anarcho-syndicalism?
Atlast!
From before 1800?
[INJ] Anarcho-wotsit? Well, blow me down - NO
[Projoy] <1800? NO *audience anxiously awaits Projoy's next era query*
A celebration?
From before 1850?
May as well mine this seam out.
[Rosie] celebration? NO
[Projoy] <1850? NO *audience drums its collective fingers*
A Mediterranean country's culture?
[INJ] Med Country? NO
[Projoy] Just to make sure we're on the same wavelength, it did not come into being (inasmuch as an abstract entity can) in any of the timespans you've suggested.
From Germany?
[Irouléguy] From Germany? NO *Audience dozes quietly*
So it did come into being between 1850-1900?
Belgian or Dutch?
[Projoy] Originating 'twixt 1850 and 1900? YES (21st century was the only alternative left, I think)
[IS,P!] Belgian/Dutch? NO
A sport?
Irish?
Specific to a Nordic Culture?
[Rosie] A sport? My first thought was "yes", but it's actually "NO" *sudden re-awakening of audience followed by huge applause despite the "no"*
[Irouléguy] Irish? YES *yet more applause*
[Projoy] Nordic? see above.
A political idea?
Scrub that, not easily mistaken for a sport (except by politics junkies like me). A game?
[Projoy] A game? NO. Although, to clarify a little, games and sport are involved. *appreciative nods and applause from the audience*
To do with children in particular?
St Patrick's Day?
The Gaelic Athletic association?
Scrub previous - it's a celebration.
A particular event or date?
or the Celtic Revival (aka Irish Renaissance)?
Now we're getting somewhere...
[Projoy] Children in particular? NO
[Rosie] The GAA? Not the answer on the card, but you're getting warm *enthusiastic applause as the audience awaits the dénouement with eager anticipation*
[Irouléguy] a date, event or the celtic revival? NONE of those
The GAA rules?
[Irouléguy] The GAA Rules? NO, but they are associated with the answer on the card. *hushed anticipation*
The All-Ireland Championships?
The Rules of Gaelic Football?
[Irouléguy] The All-Ireland Championships? Two words missing from what's on the card (and if you get the second of them I'll be satisfied). *mutters of "harsh, but fair" from the Irish members of the audience*
[Rosie] See Irouléguy's question.
The All-Ireland Gaelic Football Championships?
or the All-Ireland Senior Football Championships, even?
Google is indeed our friend
[Irouléguy] ARGH! No, not quite - SO close, yet I can't give it to you on either post.
The All-Ireland Junior Football Championships?
[Projoy] A-I JFC? NO, you changed the wrong word - sorry.
The All-Ireland Senior Hurling Champuionships?
Gotta be, so it has.
[Rosie] Hoorah! Yes, indeed, 'tis the hurling. Here, take this camán and sliotar, and be off with you :-)
(Phil) Er, what do I do with them? Don't answer that.

Right, earwig-o with ABSTRACT and MINERAL or ABSTRACT..

Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.

Is it to do with the weather?
A ton of bricks?
Related to 'the arts'?
(Projoy) Yes, it's weather-related.
(Raak) Not a ton of bricks.
(Dujon) Nothing to do with the arts.
Is the mineral water?
A measurement?
(Raak) Water? Most of it is.
(Phil) No, not a measurement.
Noah's Flood?
Connected with climate change?
(Raak) Notable historic widespread intense precipitation event? No.
(Projoy) Nothing to do with climate change, manmade or otherwise.
Perhaps something to do with short term weather forecasting?
(Dujon) Not seaweed, hair, thunder-bottles, Positive Vorticity Advection or any other attempt at divination.
Fictional?
A particular form of precipitation?
(Raak) No, it's real (both meanings)
(Irouléguy) Not a hydrometeor, as they call it in the learned journals.
Is it a type of weather?
By the way, you would hit the sliotar with the camán.
Is the water, ice?
(Phil) Not strictly a type of weather, but in effect yes. (Irish implements) Ah, it's becoming a little clearer. Neither would fit where the sun don't shine, then.
(Inkspot) Ice? Most certainly not. *a few chuckles from the audience*
Normally linked with a particular part of the world?
Scotch Mist?
Scotch Mist?
oops - forgot the protocol.
Indian Summer?
(Irg) YES *audience applause*
(Phil) Not reduced visibility due to half a bottle of GlenPissartist
(ISP) Not an Indian Summer.
A monsoon?
A hurricane?
(Raak) Not the monsoon.
(Irg) A hurricane? Not a bit of it. *cruel laughter by knowledgable audience*

This is not a technical term but possibly used to be.

A named wind?
(Dujon) Not a named wind. *further audience chuckles*
The doldrums?
The El Niño/Southern Oscillation effect?
A tsunami?
(Irg) Not ENSO (It's a technical term)
(Raak) Not a tsunami.
but:
We have winner! It's the totally becalmed CdM. Well done, sir. (Local knowledge?). Over to you.
I think we ought to draw a line under this and move on, as they say.
I certainly drifted into a lurker's victory there.
This is ABSTRACT with very strong ANIMAL AND VEGETABLE connections, mainly MINERAL but also ANIMAL and VEGETABLE, and ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MINERAL AND ABSTRACT. Also perhaps ABSTRACT.
Life, The Universe and Everything?
Indeed! *marks baton "Return to Sender"*
Ooh. Is that the first genuine hole in one in this game?
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