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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Begins with P?
Bigger than a phone box?
[Tuj] P Please Bob? NO
[Pj] Between Phonebox and Shed? NO
Is it an implement?
[Kim] Implement? NO
Still confused... Is is hand-made?
Are the various instances of this essentially the same?
i.e. there is only one design and differences are due to variations in the making process.
Bigger than a tea-chest?
[UK] Handmade YES
[INJ] YES, recognisably similar.
[Pj] NO even smaller still than a tea chest. For free, it's larger than a tea caddy.
[ISP] We know it is. :) You already told us it's larger than a toaster :)
An example of a craft?
*quietly points out that, etymologically at least, the word "manufactured" means "hand-made"**
[Pj] Crafted? YES.
[Man-u-facture] Pardon me for using dictionaries to look up definitions. It won't happen again.
Is it light enough to be carried?
[UK] Portable? YES but unhelpful I expect. Not my first unhelpful answer, either.
A household item?
...however you wish to interpret that.
[Tuj] One in every home? NO
Does it belong outside?
Is the particular country/culture European?
Metal all the way through?
[Tuj] Out of doors? YES audience applause
[Irouléguy] Europe to something? YES indeed
[Projoy] Showing its mettle? YES more audience applause
Well done all three.
Street furniture?
Used in sport?
Red in colour?
[Pj] NOT street furniture.
[Irg] NOT used in sport
[Lib] Red? NOT AS SUCH.
A sculpture?
[CdM] Sculpted? YES audience goes wild. I still maintain that it is not ars gratia artis as such.
Does it have a purpose beyond aesthetics?
(particularly since you claim it is not beautiful)
[CdM] Purpose? YES it does indeed. (particularly since I think it's just a gimmicky piece of tat)
Is it painted?
[UK] Painted? NO
British?
Does it have moving parts?
[INJ] British? NO, foreign, I'm afraid.
[UK] NO. raucous audience laughter
Has discovered it's fun to say 'raucous'...
Does it convey information in some form?
*Blushing in the ridicule of the audience*
[UK] Info? NO.
PS it's not ridicule. You said 'parts'
Is it particularly British?
[IS,P] Ah! I just though I was being spectacularly wrong!
Keep up, UK!
... INJ asked that forty minutes ago. NO still.
Is it... British? NO - I'M KIDDING! Is it Italian?
OK - NOW I'm blushing!
Country specifics
[UK] Italian? NEANCHE.
The Manneken-Pis?
(although I'm not sure what its purpose would be)
We have a winner! The very words on the card are "Manneken Pis", and its purpose is "fountain" unless that counts as street furniture in which case its purpose is "tourist attraction", particularly with all the crappy shabby costumes they put on the nasty little sod. One manneken pis baton shaped like a corkscrew passed on! Thank god for that, the answering questions is much harder than the asking. I shall be sure to avoid getting anything right for the foreseeable future.
moving parts
[UK] It has water moving through its parts...
[IS,P] NOW I understand the merriment...!
Can't help thinking that your 'parts' hilarity contributed to CdM's victory. After all, it was the first real guess.
[IS,P] Yes, that audience reaction contributed, together with your location and your "gimmicky piece of tat" comment. OK, this one is

VEGETABLE and ABSTRACT
A turnip in the shape of a thingy
With acknowledgements to Richard Curtis
A work of art?
A wooden sculpture?
Fictional?
Carrot flavour?
Barry Took?
An English rose?
Triffids?
An auspicious start
Thingy-shaped neep? No.
Work of art? No.
Wooden sculpture? No.
Fictional? No.
Carrot flavour? No.
Barry Took? No.
English Rose? No.
Triffids? No.
Edible?
Is it manufactured?
*avoids stare from IS,P*
Edible? Yes. *some applause and a couple of giggles from the audience*
Manufactured? No.
A culinary masterpiece?
Customarily eaten?
Culinary masterpiece? No. *a few more giggles*
Customarily eaten? Either a definite yes, or a definite no. I think I need to ask you to rephrase the question. *much animated discussion in the audience*
Eaten intentionally?
(i.e. would someone order this in a restaurant)
Is it made to be eaten?
A deep-fried Mars bar?
Is it eaten customarily only in a particular area or region?
Eaten intentionally? Yes. (although you wouldn't order it in a restaurant as such)
Made to be eaten? Yes. (although it is not made as such)
A deep-fried Mars Bar? No.
Region-specific? No.
Eaten raw?
Raw? In part.
customarily drunk?
...or inhaled?
More than one veg?
[Chalks] Thought that first one was a description ;op
[ISPers] yes - the 3 words sit rather well together :-)
Is it normally an ingredient in other dishes?
Begins with P?
:)
Brown in colour?
Customarily drunk/inhaled? No.
More than one veg? Yes. *substantial audience applause*
An ingredient? No.
Begins with either A-O, or Q-Z? Yes.
Brown? In part, probably yes.
Vegemite?
Vegemite? No. (I think that would be more than brown "in part" :-) )
A salad?
Is it meant for human consumption?
[CdM] Was that a yes to my question or yours?
Shurely "a-o or q-z YES" = "P NO"...?
A salad? No. *scattered applause*
Meant for human consumption? Yes. *more giggles from the same impolite people who were giggling earlier*
Yes to my question or yours? Yes.
I remind you all that this is abstract as well as vegetable.
Small potatoes?
Are there any specific required components?
i.e. Must this always include say, a particular veg.
Small potatoes? No.
Specific required components? No. *audience applause and some laughter*
Humble pie?
Humble pie? No.
A mess of potage?
... our speciality, just aubergine and carnation petals ... with a six-shilling bottle of Mule du Pape ... Flanders & Swann
Meat-and-two-veg?
Fnarr Fnarr
Is this a figurative expression?
Normally eaten cold?
5 a day?
3 and in?
Fnarr Fnarr
Mess of pottage? No.?
Filet mignon a la Bearnaise, mousseline d'asperges and chips? No. *some audience laughter*
Figurative? No.
Revenge? No.
5 a day? No.
3 and in? No.
Is it defined by the absence of something?
Strawberry Tart without so much rat in it?
Defined by absence of something? Yes. *audience rises to feet and gives standing ovation*
Ratless tart? No.
"Yes - we have no bananas"?
Banananalessnessness? No.
is tofu involved?
Tofu involved? It certainly could be.
Vegetarian cuisine?
Vegetarian Cuisine? No. *audience erupts in rapturous cheers*
Associated with a particular country or culture?
[IS,P] True. But usually when you ask a question you expect it to be answered rather than its negative answered. I think my confusion was justified anyway.
Does it involve pastry?
Veganism?
The words on the card are "A Vegan Diet", but I think Projoy gets close enough. *Hands baton carved from sealbone to Projoy*
I tried a vegan diet, but they're really hard to kill.
And there was me about to guess fruitarianism...
Back in the hotseat again. Here's an honest-to-goodness ABSTRACT that shouldn't take a moment to guess.
Is it art?
[ISP] Turner-prizewinning? NO
Occurs naturally?
Fictional?
[ISP] Naturally occurring? YES
[UK] Fictional? DON'T KNOW
Self-referential?
Begins with P?
I was going to guess "The answer", but then I saw Raak's question :P
[Raak] Self-referential? NO
[Tuj] P? NO
(I should own up to entertaing some doubt as to whether this is wholly, or indeed at all abstract, but OTOH, it is definitely none of the other three - abstract is probably a more helpful category than none at all)
s/entertaing/entertaining
Is it a physical thing?
A measurement of some kind?
Anything to do with elementary particles?
a phenomenon of some kind?
[Raak] Physical? NO
[Tuj] Measurement? YES *applause*
[Rosie] To do with elementary particles? YES, I GUESS SO
[ISP] A phenumbenumenon? YES, I GUESS
That was a successful round.
Beaufort? Richter?
A measurement of something electrical?
To do with time?
[ISP] Beaufort, Richter? NO
[Raak] Something electrical? NO
[Lib] Time? YES *applause*
The number of vibrations of a cesium atom in one second?
Carbon dating?
[Raak] Wiggly Caesium? NO
[ISP] Carbon dating? NO
A Second?
A leap year?
A moment?
[Lib] A second? NO
[UK] Leap Year? NO
[Lib] A moment? YES, but that's not The Answer *significant and sustained applause*
The Planck time?
The moment of truth?
*sings "One moment in time..."* ?
[Raak] Planck time? NO
[Lib] Moment of truth? NO
[UK] Whitney Houston, we have a problem? NO
(espirit d'escalier: should have said "quick as a planck")
Half a mo?
[Raak] Half a mo? DEFINITELY NOT!
Is it a 3 - word answer?
sings: Magic moments....
A pause?
...
Something horrible and complicated to do with differential calculus?
[Chalky] 3 word answer? NO, less than
[ISP] Bacharach? NO
[Raak] Pause? NO
[ISP] Horrible and complicated? Probably horrible, but by no means complicated. No idea whether it involves calculus.
[Projoy] Shurely 'fewer than'
Fewer than three words rules out "No time Toulouse"
... and "That Condor Moment"
Does the word 'moment' appear on the card?
THIS moment?
[ISP] 'Moment' on card? NO
[Chalky] That moment? NO (not this one either)
big bang?
[ISP] Heavy fringe? NO
In retrospect, Raak's "Planck time" was entitled to some *hearty applause*.
The half-life of a radioactive atom?
[Rosie] Half-life? NO, not half anything.
Closing time?
[Raak] Closing time? NO *audience shivers slightly as the temperature drops*
Would putting 'moment' into a thesaurus help?
*tries that* No. Maybe in the future.
AArgghhh
That's not a guess. Its just my frustration as I feel I should be very close but I'm not.
Opening time?
[Raak] Opening time? *audience phones Mountain Rescue and prays for a St Bernard*
The Big Bang, i.e. the beginning of the Universe?
A tick?
[Rosie] The B of the Bang? NO
[Raak] Tick? NO *audience stirs as if they'd seen a crocus or a rosebud, or a robin on the wing*
(worries he's going to get roundly slated for this one, which he thought was reasonably heard-of, but now not so sure)
Raak has gotten the closest by far of anyone so far.
A tock?
Or Tock himself?
[Raak] Not a tock or Tock. Perhaps I shall be made to walk the Planck after all.
Two ticks?
A jiffy?
Are we anywhere warm?
Real time?
[Rosie] Two ticks? NO
[Lib] Jiffy? NO
[Lib] Warm? NOT REALLY :)
[Chalky] Real time? NO
Recap: It's a measurement of time, one that is definitely not a half-anything (except half of two of itself). It may or may not be fictional (thus the Planck time doesn't qualify, but is damned close), and may be described loosely as "a moment". If you don't get it from that, then I chose too obscurely. :)
*scratches head*
Full time?
[Raak] Full time? NO
Is it literally an instant, i.e. having no length?
[Rosie] A lengthless instant? NO *but audience breaks into wild cheering, stamping etc. Game on.*
So it has a defined lenght?
[Lib] Defined length? YES
scientific speak? eg. a parsec?
[Lib] Science Jargon? YES *applause*
Is the length of time very short (i.e. a small fraction of a second)?
[Rosie] Very short? YES! *applause*
nanosecond?
[Lib] Nanosecond? NO
is it 10 to the power -x of a second?
[Lib] 10^-n? NO
split second?
A 440 (one oscillation)?
Sueprluminar (i.e. faster than light)?
When you say it 'may or may not be fictional' is it something that has not yet been, or may never be, proven?
[Chalky] Split second? YEEES, I suppose so.
[Rosie] A440, NO
[ISP] Faster than light? NO
[ISP] Has not been/may never be proven? YES! *applause*
The end of the universe?
[Raak] Goodbye to all that? NO
Is it all relative?
The moment of religion, that divides the thought from the action?
[ISP] Relativity? Some might say quite the reverse!
[Raak] Religious moment? NO (don't forget this is quite specifically a measure of time with a particular length and is also scientific jargon)
A chronon?
(The maximum rate of thought being one psychon per chronon.)
[Raak] JUST IN TIME! It IS indeed a chronon, the proposed quantum of time, which is said (in one theory) to be 2x10−23 seconds - considerably longer than the Planck time and not strictly a second x 10-n. I apologise to those who are currently scratching their heads and going "a what?". I had heard of the chronon some years ago, and being an Arts Graduate, tend to assume that anything scientific that I've heard of has been heard of by everyone else at least ten years ago. However, the number of hits I belatedly googled on the topic suggest that perhaps it's not the household word I had at first supposed. I had every faith that Raak would get there eventually, tho! * hands the baton over to Raak so quickly that nobody sees it happen*
I've heard of Chronon the Barbarian... grone
(btw, another way of describing its length is 20 yoctoseconds)
I onyl know the chronon from the SF story "Gulf", by Robert Heinlein.

The next one is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and ABSTRACT.

Fictional?
[Projoy] Not fictional.
[ISP] Not art. (The audience is amused as it imagines an exhibit with this title.)
Occurs naturally?
[ISP] Not natural.
To do with food?
Manufactured using machines?
[Projoy] Nothing to do with food.
[ISP] Almost invariably.
A household item?
[I] Yes, although most households probably don't have one.
A luxury item?
Begins with P?
[CdM] Not a luxury item.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
A piece of furniture?
[Rosie] Not furniture.
A musical instrument?
Having at last got my nice Yamaha digital piano.
[Rosie] I can think of one musical piece where it might be used, but no, not a musical instrument.
Bigger than a toaster?
(trad)
[INJ] Bigger than a toaster.
Newfangled?
A gong?
[Projoy] Not at all newfangled.
[Rosie] Not a gong. That has rather wider musical applications than this does.
A snooker table?
[ISP] As used in Herblfrontwick's Concerto for Snooker Table and Cue Ball? No.
Does the "abstract" refer to a metaphorical meaning of this mineral and vegetable thing?
[CdM] Yes, metaphorical. (Actually, similitudinous, to be precise.)
Victorian?
[Projoy] Not specifically Victorian.
Is the vegetable component wood?
A useful item?
[CdM] Yes, wood.
[ISP] Yes, useful. *the audience approve of these steps along the path to truth*
A fitting (as opposed to furniture)?
A container of some kind?
Does it have moving parts?
[ISP] Not a fitting.
[Rosie] *applause* Part of it is a container.
[INJ] No moving parts.
bigger than a washing machine?
Does it function as a seat?
[Projoy] Smaller than a washing machine.
[Lib] Not a seat.
A tea-chest bass?
[Rosie] Neither a tea-chest bass, a kazoo, a mighty Wurlitzer, nor a bagpipe. The musical angle is really not going to be helpful.
Still widely used today?
[CdM] Still in use.
Is the mineral part metal?
A piece of equipment of some sort?
[INJ] Yes, metal.
[ISP] Yes, it's equipment.
To do with safety?
[Projoy] Not to do with safety.
Away in a Mangle?
Bum. That has moving parts. Scratch it.
Found in the kitchen?
[ISP] Not found in the kitchen.
Is the room in the house going to help? Found in the drawing room?
[ISP] It might. But it is not to be found in the drawing room.
In the Bathroom?
[Lib] Nor in the bathroom.
Downstairs (in a house, not a bungalow of average room structure)?
[Lib] Could be. I think "household item" was misleading, this is merely something you might have in your house. Or in other places.
That's all until this evening -- offline all day.
Is it a barrel of some sort?
[Chalky] Not a barrel.
Might you have it in your car?
[CdM] You might, if you were transporting it somewhere.
Does it come in more than one size?
[Lib] It could be of various sizes.

To recap and give a nudge into a more fruitful path: it's a container of things made of wood and metal, which features in a well-known simile, and which could be found in various places, including the home.

Is it made to hold one specific thing?
[Tuj] It holds one specific type of thing.
A wise old saw?
[Projoy] Er, saws don't contain anything.
[Projoy] Fair point.
[Projoy] *a ripple of interest in the audience* Not a saw, especially not a wise one.
Does it have a lid?
Is it hardware?
A hutch?
A box of tricks?
.. or something like
[Projoy] Probably doesn't have a lid.
[Projoy] *applause* Yes, hardware.
[Projoy] Not a hutch.
[Chalky] *for a moment the audience thought you were going to get it* Not a box of tricks.
The sharpest tool in the box?
[Projoy] *the audience are excited* Not the sharpest tool in the box.
A toolbox?
[Projoy] *applause* In a sense, yes.
Does either of the words "tool" or "box" appear on the card?
[Cdm] Yes.
Boxing Helena? Boxcar Willie? Box girder bridge? Jack-in-the-box?
[ISP] None of the above.
A jewellery box, a matchbox, Pandora's box, my kingdom for a box
Isn't 'not the sharpest tool in the box' more metaphor than simile?
"it's a container of things made of wood and metal"
Is it a container of things, made of wood and metal; or is it a container of things made of wood and metal?
[ISP] None of those either, including "not the sharpest tool in the box".
[ISP] It's a container of things made of wood and metal. What the container is made of isn't important.
Does the word "tool" appear on the card?
[Projoy] "Tool" does not appear on the card.

There are four words, including the indefinite article.

A box of hammers (as in "as dumb as")?
[Projoy] You are sharp as a tack. A box of hammers is the exact phrase on the card.
OK, here's a chance to go for something better known and redeem myself. ANIMAL
Giraffe?
The Archbishop of Canterbury?
Hmm, new one on me.
[Raak] Interestingly enough - googling " a box of ..." "simile" didn't produce 'hammers, which is a phrase I, personally, have never heard before [not that that is relevant because I've obviously led a sheltered life] - yet ... googling " as dumb as a box of hammers .. produced 1,040,000 results! < Thinks >*must learn to play this game betterer*
Edible?
Alive?
"A box of hammers" is not a phrase I have ever heard used by anyone in my long and not-exactly-sheltered life. Maybe the Yanks use it. Well, I'm not a Yank. As if there aren't countless other subjects that could have been used, the words of which exist in everyone's brain, it just being a question of having the inspiration to dig them out. The whole point of the game is that you don't have to Google it, the original game being live with no access to any source of knowledge. Box of Hammers. Stupid.
[Lib] Giraffe? NO
[Tuj] Primate? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO! *considerable laughter*
[Rosie] Alive? YES

[Rosie] While I had heard the expression 'box of hammers' somewhere in the dim and distant past, enough for me to consider worth googling it for credibility before making my guess, you didn't actually have to have heard of it in order to get the answer. Besides, this game (as CdM once pointed out) is different from the original, and both google, self-education and working outside one's comfort zone are much more part of its fabric. If that makes it harder for those good at rote memorisation of canonical knowledge and easier for those good at on-the-fly research then perhaps that's an unhappy circumstance, but it is at least an index of changes in the world around us! I tend to think it's a good thing, myself, but then I have succesfully googled/guessed quite a lot lately. :) Definitely would concede, having tested it, that chronon was very hard to google up without a fair amount of specialist knowledge and probably therefore inappropriate, but a box of hammers is a concept available to anyone who's heard of hammers and boxes. That said, I would say that my current one shouldn't require google (unless someone asks the wrong question, causing me to give a truthful but obscure and therefore counterintutive and hard-to-synthesise fact about the subject under question).
(Not that there's such a thing as a 'wrong' question in this game, obviously)
A specific, unique thing?
[Tuj] Specific, unique? NO
Does it have legs?
[Chalky] Leggy? YES
2 legs?
4 legs?
6 or more legs?
Legginess quotient? Two possible sets of answers. Either (ignoring the answer to Tuj's question) YES, NO, NO; or - taking Tuj's answer into account - NO, NO, YES
A grouping of animals - e.g. a flange of baboons?
[ISP] A grouping? YES, but not of the type given in your e.g.
Human race?
A group of humans?
Oh dear, did I cause some trouble? I'm confused, at least.
[ISP] Human race? NO
[Tuj] Group of humans? YES *applause*
Primate: no, human: yes. Now I'm confused too.
OK, got it now. It was Projoy's use of the term 'primate'.
Note to self: Read questions AND answers as answers alone may cause confusion.
Are these humans grouped together because of a shared interest?
[UK] A shared interest? YES
Is this interest politcal?
Is it a spiritual/religious interest?
Furries?
[UK] Political? NOT REALLY
[Chalky] Spiritual/Religious? YES! *applause*
[ISP] Furries? NO (my suspicion is that a lot of people would require google for furries!)
I used to Google for furries and then I discovered Smirnoff
A specific sect?
[ISP] A sect? DEPENDS ON POV.
(I would say "no", tho)
Scientologists?
(Projoy) If you have to look up the answer it's no longer a game but a research project brought about largely, I suspect, by the instant accessibility of Google and the desire of certain people to show their specialised knowledge. A bit puerile. It ought to be like the original, a test of general knowledge and the ability to quickly connect and recall what's already in you head. This is not the same as rote knowledge, BTW. So the game no longer depends on the ability to think but on the ability to look things up and is therefore no longer a game, or any fun, but tedious. I'll cross it off my list.
Cross it off your list
[Rosie] Whilst I am with you 100% in being irritated by the plethora of recent 'f**k me that was obscure' targets, I think that after you make your point, and people take it on board, you could enjoy the game once more and continue to contribute as fruitfully as you have in the past. (Hopes Projoy's religion is something that more than ten people have heard of). Please don't go!
[ISP] Scientology? NO.
[Rosie, simul'd by ISP, but since you commented again] I must admit that I find looking stuff up fun (and success in this is totally about ability to think), but I do agree that some of the reward of this game is in either making the right lateral connections to perceive what in retrospect is obvious. Perhaps it would jolly the game up if we swing back for a while to obvious subjects, having had some obscurities on the trot, but equally I can't see any harm in being a bit more tolerant of stuff that falls outside 'Rosie's general knowledge' but within, say, 'Raak's general knowledge' (a category of knowledge in which I for one have found much fascination over the years).
either
Harry H Krishna?
[ISP] Hare, Hare, while stocks last? NO
Quakers?
Is this a Christian group?
[ISP] Quakers? NO
[UK] Xian? NO
Druids?
The Peoples Temple?
Scientologists?
Paganism?
*thinks ISPers may have a short-term memory problem* :-)
[ISP] Druidity? NO
[Chalky] People's Princess Temple? NO
[ISP] Scientology? NO
[Chalky] Paganism? NO
Begins with P?
Better get that in while I can...
Humanism?
Scient.. Arse!
Hindus harmonizin' in the hall?
[Tuj] Parseeism (and its alliterative religions)? NO
[Chalky] Oh, the humanity! NO
[ISP] Hindus? NO
Buddhism?
Is this abstract as well as animal?
Did it start within the last 500 years?
[Rosie] "Dumb as a box of hammers" is a commonplace expression to me; it's difficult to know what will be commonplace to everyone.
Should we be concentrating on -isms?
simul ... What CdM asked.
Sun worshippers [with legs]?
[Chalky] Buddhism? NO
[CdM] Abstract? NO
[Raak] Last 500 years? NO
[Chalky] focusism? It might help you get there, but The Answer is not an ism.
[Chalky] Solarists? NO
Islam?
dumb as a box of... I always thought it was "dumb as a bag of spanners", but the collective wisdom of Google thinks otherwise.
[Ig] Islam? *standing ovation* That is not the answer on the card.
Could it be something as simple as 'Muslims'?
[Chalky] IT COULD **audience applause**
Never heard of 'em.
LOL
Easy-peasy :-)
Now this next one should be well within everybody's intellectual and cognisant reach. However, it may require a smidgin of websearchery as we draw closer to the solution - which is the way I enjoy playing this game.
M I N E R A L / A B S T R A C T
A figurative expression?
Is the mineral metal?
[Raak] Figurative? NO
[Irouléguy] Metal? Largely, NO [there may be traces]
Rock?
Is the mineral stone?
Oops. Misread Raak's simul. WHS.
[Raak, Projoy] Rocky/Stony stuff? YES, plenty of that
A single unique thing?
A work of art?
A human construct?
[Tuj] The one-and-only? YES
[Raak] Artwork? NO
[PJ] Human construct? NO
Naturally occurring?
Fictional?
A geographical feature?
[Projoy] Naturally occurring? YES
[Uncle Korkers] Fictional? NO
[Irouléguy] A geographical feature? Good question. I'm tempted to answer 'Yes' but in fact this is NOT a geographical feature
Does it have anything to do with molten rock?
Does it move?
[Uncle Korkster] Anything to do with molten rock? Yes, molten rock might be in amongst all this.
[PJ] Does it move? YES *audience starts to murmur*
Is this a description of a process?
The Marianas Trench?
A sand dune?
[Uncle Korkee] description of a process? NO
[Raak] The Marianas Trench? NO
[Projoy] A sand dune? NO
*audience goes quiet*
Is it biiiiiiiiiig?
[Projoy] Biiiiiiiiiiig? It's Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge! *audience cheers*
aside
I'm 'at home' today which is why I'm able to pay attention to my chairing duty. Haven't seen it in ages, but is anyone else watching 'Countdown'? There's a gargantuan bloke in place of the fragrant Suzie Dent. Wha ...?]
reply to aside
That's scandalous! I've spent years watching that show, just for Suzie Dent - she's seriously hot! OK, I do enjoy playing along as well...]
Is it on Earth?
At last! The key question.
[Uncly Kork] On Earth? NO *thunderous applause from audience*
The planet Gliese 581 c?
Is it actually a planet?
*smug*
[Raak] The Planet Gliese 581 c [rather than the star]? NO
[UK] A planet? Well, actually, NO
Is it in the Solar System?
A comet?
[Raak] In solar system? YES
[Projoy] A comet? NO
A satellite?
A dwarf planet?
[Raak] A satellite? YES
[Projoy] A dwarf planet? NO
A moon?
The moons of Jupiter?
[Projoy] A moon? YES *audience senses the end game is here and start to pay attention*
[Projoy] For pity's sake child - tie down the moons of Jupiter? er - NO
A moon of Saturn?
*The* Moon?
Enceladus?
[PJ] A moon of Saturn-and-there-are-plenty-to-choose from? Er - NO
[Raak] OUR moon? NO
[Uncly Korkass] Enceladus? I refer the honourary member to my previous reply which went PJ-wise :-)
Charon?
One of Mars'?
One of Neptune?
*no longer smug*
[Projoy] Charon? NO
[Tuj] Marses moonses? No, neither
[Uncle Korks] Neptune moon? YES!
Proteus?
Triton
There are only eleven others, so we're nearly there...
[Chalky] If you like, you can assume I will ask all the other questions. :)
Does it have a name?
Nereid?
What's in a name?
[Raak] They all seem to have names. Are you confusing Neptune with Jupiter/Saturn?
[Projoy] Proteus? NO
[Uncle Korks] Nereid? NO
[Raak] A name? YES because ..

*fanfare* The victory goes to I Say, Lurker who popped into this game just at the right time.
TRITON it is, Neptune's largest moon, the seventh largest in the solar system, and one that even I've heard of. Thanks Raak, Uncle Korky and Projoy for your sterling efforts :-)
Hey, Good Lurkin'
[Chalky] That'll teach me to take a day off work.
Another easy one? ANIMAL
Hang on a mo... looks up 'Abstract' in dictionary. Decides 'bollocks to it' and leaves it as is.
A single individual?
Human?
[ISP] Maybe it's that the Greek minor god of the Sea, Triton, is abstract?
[PJ] I wasn't thinking about Chalky's Abstract actual existing real satellite, but now you mention it...
[Raak] Single individual - YES
[Projoy] Human - YES. Told you it was easy.
Alive?
[UK] Living? Not as such.
Alive in the 20th Century?
[UK] Sorry, I meant 'Not alive as such'.
... enters into deep philosophical contemplation about whether he should have used 'Abstract'
Fictional?
[UK] Fictional - YES *applause*
Aha! British author?
Definitely abstract then, as I found out to my cost a few games back! :-)
Abstract schmabstract.
[UK] British Author? NO
I'm gonna let someone else have a go.
Jumping in!
Begins with a P? :D
\
Is the fiction set in the real world?
Does the character appear in more than one publication by the author?
Does this person originally appear in a book?
Is the character female?
[Tuj] What an unexpected question! P? - NO
[Raak] Real World? - I'll say a tentative NO to that one
[INJ] More than one publication? - YES
[UK] Book? "a set of pages that have been fastened together inside a cover to be read or written in" - YES
[Irg] Female? NO
Did this person first appear in print in the 20th century?
[UK] C20? YES
Is there more than one author overall?
[UK] +1 Author? - YES
Doctor Who?
[Raak] Time Lord? - NO
[Raak] Can't be - not a British author (see above). I'm going to have a wild stab in the dark at the answer (got a gut feeling...)
Is it Asterix?
[UK] Three points for a Gaul? NO
Bo**ox.
However... this doesn't mean my line of questioning is dead... Are the authors Goscinny & Uderzo?
[UK] Goscinny & Uderzo? Nope. That rules out Lucky Luke an' all.
Definite bo**ox.
Originally written in English?
[INJ] Written in English? YES
Have the works this character appears in been filmed?
[UK] Filmed? YES
A cartoon/comic/graphic novel character?
[Raak] cartoon/comic/graphic novel character - YES * thunderous applause *
... is off to dress rehearsal. Back tomorrow!
[Uncle Korky] re: Doctor Who and British Author. Don't forget that both Sydney Newman and Anthony Coburn were Australian! :)
[Projoy] Except for Sydney Newman, who was Canadian. But Korky's point was exactly that the roots of Dr Who are non-British. But, of course, the sixty thousand dollar question is "who cares?"
A Marvel character?
[Inks] Marvel? YES * audience applause *
Superman?
[Raak] Not Superman
Superman's DC comics, I think...
Spiderman?
although Peter Parker definitely begins with a P...
Captain America?
[CdM] Not Spidey, and not Peter Parker Picked A Peck Of Pickled Peppers
[Irg] Not Captain America.
One of the X-Men?
[Chalky] Not one of the X-Men, but we're certainly getting warmer by a process of elimination.
Conan the Barbarian?
[Chalky] Not Conan. I wasn't even aware he was a Marvel character.
British Author
[Projoy] I was talking nonsense earlier - rereading, Korky's point seems to indicate that Who had British roots, which is of course a load of dalek-poo.
The Hulk?
[Chalky] Rapturous applause from the crowd but it's not the name on the card!
The Incredible Hulk?
or Dr. Robert Bruce Banner?
AWOOOOOGAH! We have a winner. Dr. Robert Bruce Banner is the name on the card. One first edition grey baton still in the original wrapping passed on.
celebrating another lurker's victory
Cheers ISPers - and 'break a leg' this weekend. Naturally we shall want YouTube evidence.

V E G E T A B L E
Thanks Chalky! Dress rehearsal went well yesterday, which bodes badly for tonight.
Barry Took? oblig.
Wood?
edible?
[IS,P!] Barry Took? Nah :-)
[Projoy] Wood? No-o-o, not exactly, but you're on the right track
[ImNotJohn] edible? No

I won't be online much over the weekend, so apologies in advance
Something to do with corK?
[irach] CorK? No [nice to see you in here :)]
Paper?
smaller than a toaster?
[CdM] Paper? YES!
[Phil] Smaller than a toaster? Mmm - it can be
Paper with something written on it?
A specific piece of paper?
A single piece of paper?
[PJ] Paper with something written on it? Yes [and I know I should have added a tiny bit of M I N E R A L to the definition but I thought it might mislead, and also guessed that 'paper' would be arrived at fairly quickly]
[Tuj] A specific piece of paper? Don't know what you mean by 'specific' so I can't answer that.
[Raak] A single piece of paper? Yes, definitely
Laser display board used at the pilg?
The piece of paper Chamberlain 'had in his hand'?
*resuming normal service*
[Lib] Laser Display Board? :) No
[I Say, Porter!] Chamberlain's bit of paper? No
Is the writing "now wash your hands"?
A voting card?
A map?
Does the piece of paper have monetary implications?
[IS,P!] "Now wash your hands"? No
[Phil] A voting card? No
[Inkspot] A map? No
[Uncle Korks] Monetary implications? No
Is it in a museum?
Is it a piece of paper of historical significance?
A particular piece of paper?
A particular piece of paper being something specific like the Magna Carta, I would interpret a single peice of paper as something more general like a calender. just so I don't go too far off track
[Raak] In a museum? No. [for clarification: when I replied 'yes' to a 'single piece of paper' I meant that only one sheet of paper was involved, as opposed to a pamphlet, magazine or book]
[Kim] Historical significance? Yes
ah ...simul
[Inkspot] A particular piece of paper? Well, it's 'particular' in that it's a suitable subject for AVMA - but if you're asking if it's the one-and-only of its kind - then NO
20th Century?
Does the piece of paper have musical implications?
[IS,P!] 20th Century? Would you kindly frame your question in a more precise manner m'dear?
[Uncle Korky] Musicalimplications? No
Is it a famous printed text?
At last ! A question
[Projoy] Famous Printed Text? No
Is there something "artistic" on the paper?
Hello [Phil] "artistic"? Well, YES, there is a pictorial representation of something.
A cartoon?
[Projoy] A cartoon? No
Was it first printed before 1900?
Like a tube map?
Is the content of this piece of paper printed?
[IS,P] 'fraid we already know it's not a map.
A poster?
[UK] Arse! Not paying attention. Anyway, that'd also be a "famous printed text" which we know it 'aint.
[Inkspot] First printed before 1900? Yes
[ISPers] Wot UK said
[Uncly Korko] Is the content printed? For the most part, yes
[ISP!] A poster? No

It may be worth checking back on my reply to Inkspot's "Is it a particular piece of paper?" question
A certificate of some kind?
Is it a document of title?
Is it a Constitution or a Declaration of Independence?
Or a treaty of some kind...
OOOPS! Not famous. Bum. Probably no to both the above... OK I'm stuck.
[Uncle Korky] A certificate of some kind? YES!
[IS,P!] Constitution/Declaration/Treaty? No
Is this a specifically British document?
Some kind of award?
[Uncle Korky] Specifically British document? The one I'm thinking of IS - YES [although there are many other 'types']
[IS,P!] Award? No
A passport?
A legal document of some kind?
Scratch the 'passport' as it's no longer a single piece of paper.
Driving licence?
Is it money?
[IS,P!] Legal document of some kind? Yes
[UK] Driving licence? No
[Lib] Money? No
Birth/Marriage/Death certificate?
[IS,P!]Birth/Marriage/Death certificate? Yes
A Birth Certificate
Relating to a specific person?
A Death Certificate
Relating to a specific person?
A Marriage Certificate
Relating to two specific people (oblig.)
[IS,P!] A Birth Certificate? YES! Now how easy-peasy was that?

[As for relating to a specific person, I did try to steer you all towards the fact that there are literally millions of these].
AR*E!
Korky's Arse
[UK] As I did the one before Chalky's, why don't you do the next?
Does it look big in these?
[IS,P] Very kind of you, my dear sir, but I wouldn't want to steal your thunder. Nor would I want to play a game where I couldn't be a good loser. :-) Please go ahead, and I'll redouble my efforts this time!
Someone Post One Please
I'm off to Rome tomorrow morning for six full days, I therefore cede the initiative to whichever of you buggers gets in first.
Why didn't you say?!
Oh well, in that case... MINERAL & VEGETABLE
Is it art?
[IS,P] Oh, hello again! :-) NO, it's not art.
It's still not tomorrow morning yet.
Is the mineral rock?
Rocky! YES - well, one of them...
Is thevegetable wood?
Smaller than a toaster?
Normally found in the house?
Also contains metal?
Frying pan with a wooden handle?
Is this an object that we might all aspire to own?
A mass manufactured item?
Right... catch-up time!
[Raak] Woody? YES
[Tuj] Toaster or less? NO
[INJ] Domestic as a rule? NO
[Projoy] The clangy stuff? YES
[irach] Full-English equipment? NO
[Chalks] I Want One Of Those? QUITE POSSIBLY - MATTER OF PERSONAL TASTE
[Inkspot] Rolls off the conveyorbelt? I WOULD HAVE TO SAY... NO
Does it contain any moving parts?
[INJ] Mobile bits? YES applause
Does it have a definite 'use'?
[Chalky] Definite 'use'? YES
A tool of some sort?
[INJ] Tool? NO
Is the rocky part artificial, i.e. concrete, brick, etc.?
Smaller than a house?
[Raak] Two parts sand, etc? NO
[Tuj] Smaller than the average domicile? YES
Is it mobile?
Not necessarily under its own steam.
Bigger than a phonebox?
[INJ] Mobilty? NO
[Projoy] Size matters? YES - but not in all directions.
Bigger than a phonebox in more than one dimension? (not counting time!)
[Projoy] Dimension comparison: BIGGER IN TWO OUT OF THREE.
Is it a container?
Is it made of more than just wood, metal and stone?
Does it require power [ie.electricity] in order to function?
[Inkspot] What's in da box? NO
[Projoy] Ingredients? YES (Some may well have an additional ANIMAL component, but don't let this confuse you)
[Chalky] Plug it in? NO
Could you buy it as a single unit?
[Projoy] One at a time? YES
Does it have wheels?
[Lib] Let's go cruise the strip? USUALLY NOT (I'd consider them optional extras)
Is the purpose of the rock part to provide weight?
Is it's purpose to provide amusement?
Ouch! - sorry about the apostrophe.
Begins with P?
[Raak] Heaaavy, man? NO
[INJ] Playtime? YES *copious applause*
[Tuj] Snow, mushy or processed? NO
Would you find it at a funfair?
[Raak] This way to the egress? NO
Used in a competitive sport?
[INJ] They think it's all over? YES *standing ovation*
A curling stone?
[Raak] Giant's bathplug? NO
A goalpost?
Hmmm?
Well, I thought we were just about there, but I can't get it.
Used in competitive sport, larger than phone box in 2 of 3 dimensions, contains wood, metal, rock (plus other), has moving parts but not wheels, except as optional extra, does not require a power source, not mobile, not mass-manufactured(ish). I think when someone does get it, it will be obviously correct. A fair summary?
snooker table?
anthropomorphism
With balls, of course.
Pool table?
To cover that base as well (though I would say they are mass-manufactured)
I would also say that Pool Table could probably be judged to begin with P. Snooker table seems like a very good guess, though.
Billiard table?
[INJ] It is, indeed, a snooker table. Congrats, and please accept this cue-shaped baton! Comiserations to everyone else.
It's always a good idea to try to state the problem - it just came to me when I had written it all down.
The next one is ANIMAL
Alive, alive-o?
(What's the stone in a snooker table?)
OK, let's try writing down what we know so far. This one is animal.


Hmmmmm... Nope, still not coming to me.
[Projoy] Slate
Human?
[Projoy] kicking? - NO
[CdM] Human - YES
Male?
[Chalky] He-Man? - YES
Historical?
Did he die in the 20th century?
[Lib] been & gone? - YES
[Raak] died in C20 - NO
Royalty?
[Lib] crowned head? - YES (some murmurs in the audience)
British?
By this I mean bearer of the Brtish crown, as opposed to having had to have be born on this island.
[UK] UK? - NO
European?
[Lib] European - YES
Charlemagne?
[CdM] Big Charlie? - NO
French?
Napoleon?
[Lib] French - NO
[Raak] Boney - nor Corsican
Died before 1500?
[Projoy] Died before 3pm? - NO
Died this century?
Died after 1800?
[Raak] C21? - NO
[Projoy] C19? - NO
To save time, the personage in question died in the 18th century.
A pope?
[Projoy] pontificating? - NO
Does 'crowned head' in this case mean 'sovereign'?
Well asked
[Projoy] lying uneasy? - NO (Loud and prolonged applause - plus a few murmurs from one or two of the audience)
I realised afterwards that my way of rephrasing Lib's question might have been confusing, so for clarity: royalty, yes; sovereign, no.
The spouse of a sovereign?
spouse? - NO
Assassinated?
French royalty?
[Raak] Assassinated? - NO
[Projoy] French Royalty - NO
Spanish Royalty?
[Projoy] Spanish? - NO
Russian Royalty?
[Projoy] Russian Royalty? - NO
Check your assumptions.
Died in Europe?
[Projoy] Died in Europe? - YES
The Charlie formerly known as Bonnie Prince?
And the next one please
Thought it wouldn't last long. It is Charles Edward Louis John Casimir Silvester Maria Stuart, aka The Young Pretender, aka Charles III of Britain, aka Bonnie Prince Charlie. Uncle Korky's 'British?' question was clarified in such a way as to allow maximum confusion.
The true baton is passed over the water to CdM.
OK, this is VEGETABLE and MINERAL possibly also with ABSTRACT connections.
Actually, remove the "possibly" there.
Possibly, remove the "actually" there.
Is it art?
Is the mineral metal?
Art? No.
Metal? No.
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Or smaller than a semi-d?
Is it edible?
Does it begin with 'P'?
[Tuj] Sorry
Is it normally found in a domestic situation?
Does it begin with R?
[UK] No worries, every little helps!
Is is useful?
Has anyone other than me actually heard Smith & Jones' head to head where they do 20 questions?
Is it musical?
[IS,P] Not me, I'm afraid - you'll have to let me have a copy! :-)
Bigger than toaster? Yes. Smaller than semi-d? No.
Begin with P? No.
Domestic? No.
Begin with R? No.
Useful? No.
Musical? No.
Is the vegetable wood?
Is there just one of this?
*cough* *points to his previous question*
British?
[Raak] Bigger than a semi detached house yet still edible. Never mind what's on the card, what are you thinking of?
[ISP] A field of corn? A tanker of cooking oil? The wine lake?
Wood? In part.
Unique? Yes.
Edible? No. (sorry)
British? Yes.
The Cutty Sark?
Cutty Sark? No.
Is it a geographical area?
Is it a building of some sort?
[Raak] Fairy nuff.
Is the non-abstract part manufactured?
To clarify, I mean deliberately constructed, not just man-made in the sense that say, a farmed landscape, is.
Geographical Area? Yes! *applause*
Building of some sort? No (although there are buildings in this geographical area).
Manufactured? No.
In England?
Is it an island?
In England? No.
An island? No.
In Scotland?
Eliminating
Scotland? Aye!
Are we looking for a specific conurbation of some size?
The Bonny bonny banks o' Loch Lomond?
Is it on the Scottish mainland?
Conurbation? No.
Last one across the border's a sissy? No.
Mainland? Yes.
Is it within a conurbation?
Conurbtained? No.
Is it a mountain?
Mountain? No.
The Trossachs?
Is it a Scottish county?
Trossachs? No.
County? No.
An area known for its natural features?
Known for natural features? No (except indirectly).
The Electric Brae?
Gleneagles?
sorry, just unsure as to the definition of 'geographical area'
Electric Brae? No.
Gleneagles? No.
Glenfiddich?
Glengarry Glen Ross? Glen Madeiros? Glen Nhoddle? Does the word 'Glen' or the word 'Loch' appear on the card?
Is it known for something produced there?
Is it a tourist attraction?
Bannockburn?
linked to a historical event?
Urban?
Lochnesslessness
Glen or Loch? No.
Production site? No.
Tourist attraction? Yes.
Bannockburn? No.
Historical? Yes. *applause*
Urban? No.
Glencoe?
Glencoe? No. *Some members of the audience, sensing that this one is almost over, start leaving their seats in order to avoid the rush to the exits*
Culloden?
Culloden Field, site of the downfall of Charles Edward Louis John Casimir Silv- well, what INJ said up there, is indeed the correct answer. *hands bloody baton to Raak*
Incidentally, you will be glad to know that Wikipedia judges the battle of Culloden to have been a "decisive British victory"
[CdM] It now says "decisive Hanoverian victory". (It wasn't me, honest.)

The next is A B S T R A C T.

Is it fictional?
anarcho-syndicalism?
One day, just you watch.
Is it art?
[INJ] Taking it in turns to act as executive officer for the week?
Three words on the card?
A human construct
(trad)
[UK] Not fictional.
[INJ] The anarcho-syndicalists will have their day...but not today.
[ISP] Not art.
[Lib] One word on the card.
[Projoy] Yes, a human construct.
Created in the 20th century?
Begins with TUJ?
A state of mind?
[UK] Created in the 20th century.
[CdM] Few things begin with TUJ, and this is not one of them.
[Chalky] Not a state of mind.
Related to the workplace?
A belief system?
[INJ] Yes, but not exclusively.
[ISP] Not a belief system.
A language of some kind?
A quality control system?
[Chalky] Not a language.
[ISP] Not quality control.
The workplace answer I would amend to "not specifically".
Can I touch it?
Is it a law?
A language?
bugger that should have been previewed. A system other than a belief system?
[Lib] Cannot be touched. There is physical stuff to this thing, but one would not talk of touching the ting itself.
[UK] Not a law.
[ISP] Not a language.
[ISP] "System" is a rather vague word, covering just about anything. Yes, it's a system, and not a belief system.
A hierarchy?
Something to do with I. T.?
To do with finance?
To do run ron ron, to do run ron?
[Chalky] Not a hierarchy.
[ISP] Yes! To do with I.T.
[Chalky] Um...yes.
[ISP] Can I get some of what you're smoking?
SAP or Oracle or the like?
[re: smoke] You need to live near the Dutch border to get the good stuff. It doesn't all reach Brussels.
[ISP] *applause* The like.
A specific, named IT product?
[INJ] Not a product.
a virus?
A generic IT feature?
i.e. one produced by many suppliers in many guises under many names e.g. database, spreadsheet.
A website?
An IT company?
[Lib] Not a virus.
[INJ] Not a generic feature.
[Lib] In a sense, yes; in a sense, no.
[Phil] *more applause* An IT company.
[Phil] Not Apple.
That's [ISP] Not Apple.
IBM ?
although, IMHO, IBM qualifies as a virus :-)
Linux?
Google?
Dell?
Not IBM, Linux, or Dell, but Google. Over to ISP.
Bugger.
Let's go for ABSTRACT and ANIMAL
I wonder if this game would work as 'reverse'... Probably not.
Fictional?
Symbolic?
Human?
[Pj] Fiction? YES
[Raak] Symbol? NO
[CdM] Human? NO
Talking?
[Raak] Talking? Yes
A cartoon character?
From a book?
Is the animal, on which the fictional version is based, normally smaller than a domestic cat?
Begins with P?
*mutter*
[Raak] Cartoon? YES
[Projoy] Book? NO
[Phil] Smaller than a cat? Depends how big the cat is.
[Tuj] Begins with a P? YES applause, and why not.
Pepe le Pew?
Phil the Cat?
[Phil] Pheeeeew? No
[Projoy] Phil the Cat? NO Never heard of him.
From a Disney animation?
[Phil the bigger-than-a-cat-landlord] Disney? NO
animated cartoon? (i.e. film cartoon rather than strip cartoon)
[Phil] Animated? Yes
Porky Pig?
[UK] Piggie? No
Pink Panther?
Pokémon?
[Lib] Pink Pussycat? NO
[Phil] Pogue Mahone? NO
Re: Cartoon - YES
A pub discussion over the weekend, and the most recent posts in here, have put doubt into my mind about the above answer. I think on reflection I'll change it to Cartoon - NO. Apologies.
Computer animation?
[UK] PC? Nope.
Is the character listed at imdb.com?
[Phil] A search on IMBD under 'character' with the words on the card will produce the expected results, so YES.
Claymation?
[UK] Not Claymation.
Stop-motion stuff (eg Ray Harryhausen)?
[UK] Stop Motion? YES * applause * Ray Harryhausen? NO
Originating on TV?
Parsley the Lion?
Paper cutouts (such as South Park)?
Pugwash (Captain)?
PC McGarry No 452?
Professor Yaffle?
[Projoy] Originating on TV? YES indeed only available on TV afaik. Parsley? NO
[CdM] Paper Cut? NO
[UK] Pugwash, NO, PC McGarry NO, but PROFESSOR YAFFLE is the name on the card, and this piece of broken wood which could be 'fixed' into a winner's baton by the mice from the mouse organ is therefore passed on. I, Say Porter! goes to sleep.
[IS,P] Ta! I believe the precedent is that all your friends now go to sleep too. *snores*
[UK] NO! Set a new one!
[IS,P] Well, as it so happens, Emily has brought something new into the shop, so let's see if the viewers at home can work out what it is. This is ABSTRACT through and through.
Is it art?
[IS,P] Arty? NO
Bigger than a toaster?
[IS,P] Toaster comparison. CANNOT ANSWER
Intriguing. Is it a human concept?
[IS,P] Human concept? YES *applause*
Is it related to the previous object?
[Raak] Woodpecker et al? NO
Connected with emotions?
(As in, "my love is bigger by far than any toaster!")
Religiously inclined?
[Projoy] Emotional response? YES
[IS,P] God-bothering? NO
An emotion itself, or a reaction to an emotion?
[IS,P] NO to both
A subjective experience?
[Projoy] I knew I shouldn't have gone for an abstract, because I'd end up getting confused when the discussion gets philosophical :-) ! As far as I can work out, the best answer I can give is YES.
Yes, but what do we *mean* by subjective?
:)
To do with conscious thought?
*beginning to feel out of his depth! *
[Projoy] Conscious thought? YES
Is it something one can do?
[Projoy] An action? Sticking strictly to what's written on the card, NO
blubble blubble blubble...
leaves Pj & UK to it
Can it be quantified in numbers?
[Projoy] Count 'em up? Technically, YES, but I feel this will not help in any way.
The ways in which Elizabeth Barrett Browning loved Robert Browning?
[Projoy] OK. You've lost me completely.
Anything to do with Science?
(Sorry, was being silly)
A sensation?
[uk] Could PJ mean "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways" - or was that Roger Rabbit...
[Projoy] Scientific? NO
[Phil] Sensational? NO
[Pj & IS,P] Thanks for illumination!
Hope you're not waiting for me. As soon as I see 'human concept - YES' I sit back and watch.
*ahem*
...

Begins with a P?
To do with language?
[Tuj] Standard opening? NO
[Chalky] Language-related? YES (to an extent)
Is it real (as opposed to explicitly fictional)?
[Projoy] Real? YES
Is it a process?
[Projoy] Process? NO
Is this universal, or culturally specific?
[Irg] Naughty! How can I answer y/n to that?! I don't wish to be a pedant, however, so I'll offer:
Universal? NO
Culturally specific? YES (probably)
Probably specific to British culture?
[Raak] UK? YES
To do with the media?
Afternoon tea?
[Raak] Media-related? NO
[irach] One lump or two? NO
A saying?
Specific to any region of the UK?
To do with sport?
[Projoy] A saying? YES (in a way)
[Raak] Specific part of UK? NO
[Irg] Sporty? NO
a cliché?
[Projoy] Cliché? YES - but don't let this mislead you.
Is there more than one word on the card (not counting articles)?
[Projoy] Multiple words? YES
Free clue: you're looking for a generalisation rather than a specific phrase.
Child-related?
[INJ] Kids' stuff? YES (but not exclusively)
Fings ain't what they used to be?
A way of speaking?
Young People Today?
Before I answer specifics, I feel that the 'free clue' appears to have done more harm than good. Remember - the words on the card are not a specific phrase. I'll try to make it even easier: it's an "example", or a general description of one item from a category.
[Irg] NO (specific phrase)
[INJ] NO (see explanation above)
[Projoy] NO (specific phrase)
Is it associated with a certain class of people?
[Raak] Classy? NO
Is it about young people in some way?
[Projoy] Yoof? NOT "ABOUT", NO...
Youth itself?
txtspk?
kthxbye ?
[Projoy] NO - it's a saying, remember
[CdM] Texting? NO
[Phil] I have no idea what that means!
A "saying" which is not "a specific phrase". See? That's why I took a back seat earlier.
[IS,P] Funnily enough, I'm regretting picking this one now - I expect to get pilloried at the end of this.
A cliché?
Do the words on the card describe some words?
[INJ] See answer to Projoy further up
[Projoy] YES *applause*
RP?
[Raak] A manner of speech? NO - the answer to Projoy's most recent question should be taken as very significant.
complaints about the weather?
(you said it was a UK-specific thing)
Do the words on the card express or imply criticism?
(Sorry, didn't look far enough back)
Is it a good thing?
[Projoy] Bit nippy? NO
[INJ] Criticism? NO (and no worries!)
[Irg] Good thing? WELL, THAT DEPENDS - subjective experience also, remember!
Do the words on the card describe a type of response?
e.g esprit de l'escalier
Hard to see how to carry on making progress with this
[INJ] Are you preparing the pillory or am I?
Are the words referred to generally spoken as part of a conversation?
Are the words referred to some sort of metaphor or simile?
[INJ] Type of response? NO
[Projoy] Part of conversation? COULD BE
[Irg] Metaphor / similie? NO, but *applause* for a question relating to 'categories'...
[IS,P] I'm putting my trainers on, and preparing to sprint. If you all want a new topic, I'll tell you what's on the card and run away very quickly.
Is it self-referential?
Give it a bit longer - somewhere, there's a killer question lurking. Anyway we haven't got the pillory set up yet.
Onomatopoeia?
[INJ] Could you clarify, please?
[IS,P] BZZZT? NO
Is it a way of speaking?
[Lurker (kimming)] Manner of speech? NO
Chav related?
[Lib] Burberry bling? NO
To do with right and wrong language use?
[Raak] Syntax, grammar, etc.? NO
Next free clue: you're all being far too serious.
Furzigig wibble epoptolith?
Is it a joke or witticism of some sort?
[Raak] I was going to say that.
British understatement?
A knock-knock joke?
Anything to do with comedy?
'Management bollocks'?
Technobabble/nerd-speak?
Thank God! INJ & Raak were close, but Thos, lurking with panache, has seized on the exact words on the card in one post. Dear all - the answer is "A knock-knock joke". Relay baton passed to Thos, whilst I sprint for the hills.
Who's there? Me? Oops.
Oh dear. That was rather a lurker victory. Hadn't really imagined that I would chance upon the solution! Perhaps someone else might consider taking on the challenge of setting the next, since I am currently locked in the cupboard under the sink on Mother-of-Mine's instructions and unable to post for a few days.
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Control Freak. Now you have to say 'Control Freak Who?'"
little old man who?
Control Freak Who?
A new one...
Right-ho, I'm back in Blighty, so here goes with a new one (and apologies if you've had this before - I only glance in on this game occasionally): This is mineral but you used to be able to get it/this/them in vegetable too...
Is it art?
Tennis racket?
Made of plastic?
Was it formerly made of wood?
Violin strings?
[ISP] Art - no, [Phil] Racket - no, [Inkspot] Plastic - yes, [Raak] Formerly wood - no, [Kim] Strings - no.
I must add that I would love to see a wooden one, as I can't imagine how it might work!
A container?
Was the vegetable rubber?
[ISP] Container - well, I suppose it could be used as one but that is not its purpose, so no. [Raak] Rubber - yes.
associated with a recreational activity?
Takes batteries?
Lib started it...
[Lib] Recreational - only in the loosest sense in that you would indeed use it to bring you some form of pleasure and I can't see a business usage, but I think I would have to say no overall. [ISP] Batteries - no - and completely no to where you seem to be headed :)
Is it a protective covering?
Used in a sport or game?
Would you normally store and use it in the kitchen?
A mackintosh?
Wellies?
Plastic that was formerly also rubber: An eraser
[Raak] Protective covering - no [ISP] sporty/gamey - no [Inkspot] Kitchen based - no (although in fairness, you could use or store it there if you wanted - but it would be most unusual) [Raak] Mackintosh - no [Projoy] Wellingtons - no [ISP] Eraser - no.
Further Clarification
Just to elaborate a bit on the response as to whether it was a recreational activity, I might have unwittingly misled you with my reply. The object is used as a recreational activity, in that you would utilise it in your spare time and for fun, but it would be unlikely to have a a long term usage, like a hobby, or a passtime, hence my answering with a no. Hope this helps...
Is it round?
[Raak] Round - yes, it is!
Is it hollow?
[Inkspot] Hollow - hmm, sometimes yes, sometimes no. I think, however, that in the traditional understanding of hollow, you would not say that it was, so once again I'd plump for overall no.
Is it commonly sold in packets of three?
Is it a disc?
[Raak] Wouldn't that be a protective covering?
[Phil] Yes, but the trend of all the other answers was too strong to ignore.
frisbee?
Lib has a lot to answer for.
Has it moving parts?
A rubber duck?
OK, not terribly round and somewhat hollow, but I'll just throw it in and see if it causes any ripples.
Hula Hoop?
Anything to do with wheels?
Woof! What a lot of lovely guesses! [Raak] Packets of three - no (but arf!) [Inkspot] Discy, as Stanley Unwin might have it, - no [ISP] Frisbee - no [Projoy] Moving parts or rubber duckiness - no* and no [ISP] Hula Hoop - no [Raak] Wheeled - no.

*BUT clarification (as always): Whilst I say there are no moving parts, one element of the object will move if the item is utilised...

Is it used in conjunction with some other thing or things?
Is it a sphere more than 50mm diameter?
Is it associated with a particular country or culture?
Used at home? Indoors?
Would it be somthing to be used "at the weekend"?
Persisting with Raak's line of enquiry :-)
Was this 'round' thing around before 1950?
[CdM] Used with other things - not specifically: It can be utilised alone without any problem though you might get more out of it if you involve other items [Inkspot] Sphere - it is not a sphere, [Irouleguy] Associated with a country/culture - no [ISP] Used indoors - usually yes, but it could be used outside, and I am sure has been, [Phil] Weekend use - this little beauty can be used at any time and is, [Chalky] Did it exist prior to 1950? - not according to my sources...
Is it likely that I own one?
Round, but neither a disk nor a sphere. Hmmmm.
Prismatic?
A whoopee cushion?
Does one inflate it?
Used in conjunction with water?
Is it toroidal? A rubber ring?
(fnar)
Tubular?
Cut to the Chase....
With a Greek Chorus chanting "More Tea, Vicar?" in the background, I am happy to declare that ImNotJohn is entirely on the button with a whoopee cushion. *Applause*. Actually, I thought Chalky was playing games with me (so to speak) when she actually picked the year that they were actually invented! *bows towards INJ and scarpers....*
Whoopee!!
A fine bit of lurking, though I say so myself.
We're off again with ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
BTW would it be taken as an insult to say that having met Thos made it easier to guess?
Getting it out of the way
Does it have to do with anarcho-syndicalism?
The key question
[Néa] - anarcho-syndicalism? - NO (but one of these days...)
Be it verily the construct of humanity?
[Projoy] human construct - Yea verily
[INJ] I wouldn't take it as an insult, at all. Now would you like to look through this telescope (ignore the wetness of the eyepiece)...?
Re: Human Construct - yes. OH BOLLOCKS.
[IS,P] Yes. You will note I'm still in hiding after the last one.
Is it a fictional human?
An emotional response?
[Kim] fictional human? - NO
[IS,P] Emotional response? - NO
Does it begin with a P?
Is it fictional? (trad)
An organisation?
To do with religion?
We apologise for the break in transmission
[IS,P] P.... - NO
[Projoy] fictional - YES
[Rosie] organisation - NO
[IS,P] religious - NO
Detective fiction?
[IS,P] Sam Spade etc - NO
Quiet in here, isn't it? Cartoon or animation related?
I'm getting quite lonely
[IS,P] Cartoon/Animation? - The answer has to be YES (some applause), but that wasn't my original inspiration.
BTW I think this is already quite close to a resolution.
Related to a myth or fairy tale?
[Néa] myth/fairy tale - NO
Super powers?
[IS,P] I thought you didn't do abstract human construct stuff!
[IS,P] Super-powered? - NO (a few chuckles in the audience)
A particular genre of fiction?
(meaning is The Answer a word describing a particular genre, rather than The Answer being categorisable under one).
[Projoy] a genre? - NO
A fictional story that was originally textual but which has since become an animated or cartoon representation of such?
[UK] Generally not, but INJ was rather lonely, I thought, and I wanted to give the game a shove.
Well, thank you.
[IS,P] book later animated - YES (applause)
Just to clarify my last response. I could strictly have answered NO in that the answer is not a fictional story that etc. as such, but I gave the more helpful and leading answer. As ever, you may need to make sure you aren't making any unjustified assumptions.
Idéfix?
Is The Answer the title of a book?
[CdM] Idéfix - NO
[Projoy] book title - NO (that was the point I was trying to hint at)
Is the answer on the card the name of a character? (I know Fiction-YES and Human-NO)
Getting warm
[IS,P] character's name? - YES (applause - some members of the audience start to put jackets on)
Lewis Carroll?
Bambi?
A.A. Milne?
Something From Rudyard Kipling?
And his exceedingly good pies?
[UK] Shurely "cakes"
As the sands of time draw inexorably towards a close
[IS,P] A.A. Milne - YES (further loud applause)
The other answers are therefore superfluous
As 'Pooh' has been ruled out, how about "Tigger"
Wol?
Keep Going
[IS,P] Tigger - NO (I had been thinking of 'Paddington' originally, but remembered the 'P' question.)
[Phil] - Wol - NO
Last chance for today
I'll be leaving this laptop behind in about 15 mins and not connecting again until tomorrow.
Piglet?
Wait, don't think of an elephant - is it a Heffalump?
Eeyore?
And we have a winner.It is Eeyore.
So I'll pass this baton to CdM, but I don't suppose it'll do him any good.
Rats! I thought I'd done enough to win it - indeed I was going to add Eeyore after Phil's Wol but thought others should be given a chance to chip in - at least it wasn't a lurker.
Game stalled
I think it's the phrase "And we have a winner. It is Eeyore". Everyone's waiting for Eeyore to post a new topic.
I can't post a clue. I have this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side.
*runs in*
Sorry I'm late. All right, this is
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MINERAL and ABSTRACT connections.
I should warn you that I am traveling for most of the next 48 hours, so my connections will be intermittent.
Oh, and [IS,P] -- thanks for doing all the heavy lifting on that last one. :-)
Is it constructed humanly?
Is the answer "something"?
[Projoy] YES. The words on the card are a human construct. However in another sense the answer is YES AND NO.
[Raak] YES. The words on the card are a thing. However in another sense the answer is NO.
Any religion/spirituality connection?
Goddity? I can think of several. However, the least misleading answer is NO.
[Raak] By the way, if you meant "is the word(s) on the card 'something'?", the answer is NO.
Is it fictional?
Fictional? NO, the words on the card are not fictional. However, in another sense the answer is YES AND NO.
When you talk about "another sense", is it the same "other sense" for each question?
Is the animal connection one particular species?
Is the answer a well-known or 'set' phrase?
Is it connected with a sport or game?
Is it a filament of our imagination?
figment obviously. Pardon me.
Is another sense always the same sense? YES.
One particular species? NO.
Is the answer a well-known phrase? NO.
Is the answer a 'set' phrase? YES. *laughter*
Connected with a sport or game? NO. (But in another sense YES AND NO.)
A figment of our imagination? I think the best answer is NO.

Sorry about the absence. I was hellishly busy for the last two days. Normal service should be resumed shortly.
Connected with mathematics?
Connected with mathematics? Fundamentally I would say NO, although you are (I think) drawing the right conclusion from the earlier laughter. In another sense, of course, the answer is YES AND NO.
Is this a form of reproduction?
A form of communication?
Reproduction? NO. (or YES and NO)
Communication? NO. (or YES and NO)
Six of one and half a dozen of the other?
6 and 6? NO. (and in another sense, NO.)
Is it anything to do with sorting?
To do with sorting? To be honest, I am not exactly sure what you mean. It is not to do with sorting in the sense of, say, computer code, but it is to do with sorting in some sense, I suppose. Of course, in another sense the answer is YES AND NO.
Is the answer self-referential?
Schroedinger's cat?
Does the word "everything" appear on the card?
Is it a matter of opinion?
Self-referential? NO. *applause*
Superpussition? NO.
'Everything' on the card. *applause* As I have worded the card, NO. But it would be badly misleading to give that answer, so I will tell you that the phrase "all things" does appear on the card.
Matter of opinion. 100% of those polled say NO.
The phrase "Man is the measure of all things"?
No, it's not a well-known phrase, and it's not a matter of opinion...

How about Are there more than four words on the card?
More than four words? YES.
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