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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Male?
Blokeish? YES *applause*
Humph?
Lyttleton? NO *diminishing applause* I think you're getting misled by earlier applause...
Archie Andrews?
An educated guess? NO
Is heard on the radio?
An actor playing a role?
Aged under 40?
Sven?
Borat?
Mycroft?
Avatar
I was thinking 'graphical representation in a game of a real person'
Wireless? NO
Actor? NO
Under 40? YES
The rippling one? NO
Borat? NO
Mr Holmes snr? NO
Avatar II? NO - but the audience senses that IS,P is poking around the right area, and responds with appropriate *applause*.
Is this person advertising something?
Back after these important messages? NO
Is it 'Uncle Korky' - is what I was trying, and failing, to get at.
We have a winner! The very words on the card are "Uncle Korky", so one morniversal baton is well and truly passed on!
[uk] However did you think of that one?
The next one is Mineral. In the immortal words of Ron Pickering "away you go"
Unique?
[Tuj] One is one and all alone and evermore shall be so? NO
Metallic?
Useful?
[Tuj] Metallic YES
[Projoy] Useful? NOT AS SUCH
Bigger than a toaster?
Is it art?
[Tuj] Toastier than thou? YES [Korky] Art for Art's Sake? NOT AS SUCH
This is quite hard, isn't it? Ages since I did the setting for one of these.
Is it beautiful?
[Projoy] Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So... I wouldn't call it beautiful, whadda you think?
A work of architecture?
Is it bigger than the average garden shed?
[Raak] Millenium Tent? NO
[Uncle 'Two Sheds' Korky] NO.
Human-made?
[Projoy]A made thing? YES
Is it still manufactured nowadays?
[UK] Two questions in one? I'll choose to answer Is it manufactured. NO
Hmmm... Human-made - yet NOT manufactured... Is it a by-product?
All that is not unique is not manufactured.
[UK] Manufactured: to produce goods in large numbers, usually in a factory using machines.
Is it a by-product? Of what? The answer's NO anyway, I'm just curious.
I think my point is you can make more than one of a thing without manufacturing being involved at all.
... is going to sit in Place Luxembourg basking in the sunshine with a couple of cool beers ('cos it's Happy Hour - 2 for 1). Pissed if back later.
Are instances of this still being made?
(to re-pose the remainder of UK's question)
Is this specific to a particular culture or country?
[INJ] in production? The thing itself NO, images of the thing YES, in fact probably even manufactured (sorry, Korks).
[Irg]YES audience applause
Begins with P?
Bigger than a phone box?
[Tuj] P Please Bob? NO
[Pj] Between Phonebox and Shed? NO
Is it an implement?
[Kim] Implement? NO
Still confused... Is is hand-made?
Are the various instances of this essentially the same?
i.e. there is only one design and differences are due to variations in the making process.
Bigger than a tea-chest?
[UK] Handmade YES
[INJ] YES, recognisably similar.
[Pj] NO even smaller still than a tea chest. For free, it's larger than a tea caddy.
[ISP] We know it is. :) You already told us it's larger than a toaster :)
An example of a craft?
*quietly points out that, etymologically at least, the word "manufactured" means "hand-made"**
[Pj] Crafted? YES.
[Man-u-facture] Pardon me for using dictionaries to look up definitions. It won't happen again.
Is it light enough to be carried?
[UK] Portable? YES but unhelpful I expect. Not my first unhelpful answer, either.
A household item?
...however you wish to interpret that.
[Tuj] One in every home? NO
Does it belong outside?
Is the particular country/culture European?
Metal all the way through?
[Tuj] Out of doors? YES audience applause
[Irouléguy] Europe to something? YES indeed
[Projoy] Showing its mettle? YES more audience applause
Well done all three.
Street furniture?
Used in sport?
Red in colour?
[Pj] NOT street furniture.
[Irg] NOT used in sport
[Lib] Red? NOT AS SUCH.
A sculpture?
[CdM] Sculpted? YES audience goes wild. I still maintain that it is not ars gratia artis as such.
Does it have a purpose beyond aesthetics?
(particularly since you claim it is not beautiful)
[CdM] Purpose? YES it does indeed. (particularly since I think it's just a gimmicky piece of tat)
Is it painted?
[UK] Painted? NO
British?
Does it have moving parts?
[INJ] British? NO, foreign, I'm afraid.
[UK] NO. raucous audience laughter
Has discovered it's fun to say 'raucous'...
Does it convey information in some form?
*Blushing in the ridicule of the audience*
[UK] Info? NO.
PS it's not ridicule. You said 'parts'
Is it particularly British?
[IS,P] Ah! I just though I was being spectacularly wrong!
Keep up, UK!
... INJ asked that forty minutes ago. NO still.
Is it... British? NO - I'M KIDDING! Is it Italian?
OK - NOW I'm blushing!
Country specifics
[UK] Italian? NEANCHE.
The Manneken-Pis?
(although I'm not sure what its purpose would be)
We have a winner! The very words on the card are "Manneken Pis", and its purpose is "fountain" unless that counts as street furniture in which case its purpose is "tourist attraction", particularly with all the crappy shabby costumes they put on the nasty little sod. One manneken pis baton shaped like a corkscrew passed on! Thank god for that, the answering questions is much harder than the asking. I shall be sure to avoid getting anything right for the foreseeable future.
moving parts
[UK] It has water moving through its parts...
[IS,P] NOW I understand the merriment...!
Can't help thinking that your 'parts' hilarity contributed to CdM's victory. After all, it was the first real guess.
[IS,P] Yes, that audience reaction contributed, together with your location and your "gimmicky piece of tat" comment. OK, this one is

VEGETABLE and ABSTRACT
A turnip in the shape of a thingy
With acknowledgements to Richard Curtis
A work of art?
A wooden sculpture?
Fictional?
Carrot flavour?
Barry Took?
An English rose?
Triffids?
An auspicious start
Thingy-shaped neep? No.
Work of art? No.
Wooden sculpture? No.
Fictional? No.
Carrot flavour? No.
Barry Took? No.
English Rose? No.
Triffids? No.
Edible?
Is it manufactured?
*avoids stare from IS,P*
Edible? Yes. *some applause and a couple of giggles from the audience*
Manufactured? No.
A culinary masterpiece?
Customarily eaten?
Culinary masterpiece? No. *a few more giggles*
Customarily eaten? Either a definite yes, or a definite no. I think I need to ask you to rephrase the question. *much animated discussion in the audience*
Eaten intentionally?
(i.e. would someone order this in a restaurant)
Is it made to be eaten?
A deep-fried Mars bar?
Is it eaten customarily only in a particular area or region?
Eaten intentionally? Yes. (although you wouldn't order it in a restaurant as such)
Made to be eaten? Yes. (although it is not made as such)
A deep-fried Mars Bar? No.
Region-specific? No.
Eaten raw?
Raw? In part.
customarily drunk?
...or inhaled?
More than one veg?
[Chalks] Thought that first one was a description ;op
[ISPers] yes - the 3 words sit rather well together :-)
Is it normally an ingredient in other dishes?
Begins with P?
:)
Brown in colour?
Customarily drunk/inhaled? No.
More than one veg? Yes. *substantial audience applause*
An ingredient? No.
Begins with either A-O, or Q-Z? Yes.
Brown? In part, probably yes.
Vegemite?
Vegemite? No. (I think that would be more than brown "in part" :-) )
A salad?
Is it meant for human consumption?
[CdM] Was that a yes to my question or yours?
Shurely "a-o or q-z YES" = "P NO"...?
A salad? No. *scattered applause*
Meant for human consumption? Yes. *more giggles from the same impolite people who were giggling earlier*
Yes to my question or yours? Yes.
I remind you all that this is abstract as well as vegetable.
Small potatoes?
Are there any specific required components?
i.e. Must this always include say, a particular veg.
Small potatoes? No.
Specific required components? No. *audience applause and some laughter*
Humble pie?
Humble pie? No.
A mess of potage?
... our speciality, just aubergine and carnation petals ... with a six-shilling bottle of Mule du Pape ... Flanders & Swann
Meat-and-two-veg?
Fnarr Fnarr
Is this a figurative expression?
Normally eaten cold?
5 a day?
3 and in?
Fnarr Fnarr
Mess of pottage? No.?
Filet mignon a la Bearnaise, mousseline d'asperges and chips? No. *some audience laughter*
Figurative? No.
Revenge? No.
5 a day? No.
3 and in? No.
Is it defined by the absence of something?
Strawberry Tart without so much rat in it?
Defined by absence of something? Yes. *audience rises to feet and gives standing ovation*
Ratless tart? No.
"Yes - we have no bananas"?
Banananalessnessness? No.
is tofu involved?
Tofu involved? It certainly could be.
Vegetarian cuisine?
Vegetarian Cuisine? No. *audience erupts in rapturous cheers*
Associated with a particular country or culture?
[IS,P] True. But usually when you ask a question you expect it to be answered rather than its negative answered. I think my confusion was justified anyway.
Does it involve pastry?
Veganism?
The words on the card are "A Vegan Diet", but I think Projoy gets close enough. *Hands baton carved from sealbone to Projoy*
I tried a vegan diet, but they're really hard to kill.
And there was me about to guess fruitarianism...
Back in the hotseat again. Here's an honest-to-goodness ABSTRACT that shouldn't take a moment to guess.
Is it art?
[ISP] Turner-prizewinning? NO
Occurs naturally?
Fictional?
[ISP] Naturally occurring? YES
[UK] Fictional? DON'T KNOW
Self-referential?
Begins with P?
I was going to guess "The answer", but then I saw Raak's question :P
[Raak] Self-referential? NO
[Tuj] P? NO
(I should own up to entertaing some doubt as to whether this is wholly, or indeed at all abstract, but OTOH, it is definitely none of the other three - abstract is probably a more helpful category than none at all)
s/entertaing/entertaining
Is it a physical thing?
A measurement of some kind?
Anything to do with elementary particles?
a phenomenon of some kind?
[Raak] Physical? NO
[Tuj] Measurement? YES *applause*
[Rosie] To do with elementary particles? YES, I GUESS SO
[ISP] A phenumbenumenon? YES, I GUESS
That was a successful round.
Beaufort? Richter?
A measurement of something electrical?
To do with time?
[ISP] Beaufort, Richter? NO
[Raak] Something electrical? NO
[Lib] Time? YES *applause*
The number of vibrations of a cesium atom in one second?
Carbon dating?
[Raak] Wiggly Caesium? NO
[ISP] Carbon dating? NO
A Second?
A leap year?
A moment?
[Lib] A second? NO
[UK] Leap Year? NO
[Lib] A moment? YES, but that's not The Answer *significant and sustained applause*
The Planck time?
The moment of truth?
*sings "One moment in time..."* ?
[Raak] Planck time? NO
[Lib] Moment of truth? NO
[UK] Whitney Houston, we have a problem? NO
(espirit d'escalier: should have said "quick as a planck")
Half a mo?
[Raak] Half a mo? DEFINITELY NOT!
Is it a 3 - word answer?
sings: Magic moments....
A pause?
...
Something horrible and complicated to do with differential calculus?
[Chalky] 3 word answer? NO, less than
[ISP] Bacharach? NO
[Raak] Pause? NO
[ISP] Horrible and complicated? Probably horrible, but by no means complicated. No idea whether it involves calculus.
[Projoy] Shurely 'fewer than'
Fewer than three words rules out "No time Toulouse"
... and "That Condor Moment"
Does the word 'moment' appear on the card?
THIS moment?
[ISP] 'Moment' on card? NO
[Chalky] That moment? NO (not this one either)
big bang?
[ISP] Heavy fringe? NO
In retrospect, Raak's "Planck time" was entitled to some *hearty applause*.
The half-life of a radioactive atom?
[Rosie] Half-life? NO, not half anything.
Closing time?
[Raak] Closing time? NO *audience shivers slightly as the temperature drops*
Would putting 'moment' into a thesaurus help?
*tries that* No. Maybe in the future.
AArgghhh
That's not a guess. Its just my frustration as I feel I should be very close but I'm not.
Opening time?
[Raak] Opening time? *audience phones Mountain Rescue and prays for a St Bernard*
The Big Bang, i.e. the beginning of the Universe?
A tick?
[Rosie] The B of the Bang? NO
[Raak] Tick? NO *audience stirs as if they'd seen a crocus or a rosebud, or a robin on the wing*
(worries he's going to get roundly slated for this one, which he thought was reasonably heard-of, but now not so sure)
Raak has gotten the closest by far of anyone so far.
A tock?
Or Tock himself?
[Raak] Not a tock or Tock. Perhaps I shall be made to walk the Planck after all.
Two ticks?
A jiffy?
Are we anywhere warm?
Real time?
[Rosie] Two ticks? NO
[Lib] Jiffy? NO
[Lib] Warm? NOT REALLY :)
[Chalky] Real time? NO
Recap: It's a measurement of time, one that is definitely not a half-anything (except half of two of itself). It may or may not be fictional (thus the Planck time doesn't qualify, but is damned close), and may be described loosely as "a moment". If you don't get it from that, then I chose too obscurely. :)
*scratches head*
Full time?
[Raak] Full time? NO
Is it literally an instant, i.e. having no length?
[Rosie] A lengthless instant? NO *but audience breaks into wild cheering, stamping etc. Game on.*
So it has a defined lenght?
[Lib] Defined length? YES
scientific speak? eg. a parsec?
[Lib] Science Jargon? YES *applause*
Is the length of time very short (i.e. a small fraction of a second)?
[Rosie] Very short? YES! *applause*
nanosecond?
[Lib] Nanosecond? NO
is it 10 to the power -x of a second?
[Lib] 10^-n? NO
split second?
A 440 (one oscillation)?
Sueprluminar (i.e. faster than light)?
When you say it 'may or may not be fictional' is it something that has not yet been, or may never be, proven?
[Chalky] Split second? YEEES, I suppose so.
[Rosie] A440, NO
[ISP] Faster than light? NO
[ISP] Has not been/may never be proven? YES! *applause*
The end of the universe?
[Raak] Goodbye to all that? NO
Is it all relative?
The moment of religion, that divides the thought from the action?
[ISP] Relativity? Some might say quite the reverse!
[Raak] Religious moment? NO (don't forget this is quite specifically a measure of time with a particular length and is also scientific jargon)
A chronon?
(The maximum rate of thought being one psychon per chronon.)
[Raak] JUST IN TIME! It IS indeed a chronon, the proposed quantum of time, which is said (in one theory) to be 2x10−23 seconds - considerably longer than the Planck time and not strictly a second x 10-n. I apologise to those who are currently scratching their heads and going "a what?". I had heard of the chronon some years ago, and being an Arts Graduate, tend to assume that anything scientific that I've heard of has been heard of by everyone else at least ten years ago. However, the number of hits I belatedly googled on the topic suggest that perhaps it's not the household word I had at first supposed. I had every faith that Raak would get there eventually, tho! * hands the baton over to Raak so quickly that nobody sees it happen*
I've heard of Chronon the Barbarian... grone
(btw, another way of describing its length is 20 yoctoseconds)
I onyl know the chronon from the SF story "Gulf", by Robert Heinlein.

The next one is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and ABSTRACT.

Fictional?
[Projoy] Not fictional.
[ISP] Not art. (The audience is amused as it imagines an exhibit with this title.)
Occurs naturally?
[ISP] Not natural.
To do with food?
Manufactured using machines?
[Projoy] Nothing to do with food.
[ISP] Almost invariably.
A household item?
[I] Yes, although most households probably don't have one.
A luxury item?
Begins with P?
[CdM] Not a luxury item.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
A piece of furniture?
[Rosie] Not furniture.
A musical instrument?
Having at last got my nice Yamaha digital piano.
[Rosie] I can think of one musical piece where it might be used, but no, not a musical instrument.
Bigger than a toaster?
(trad)
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