mc5 - AVMA Take 2

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AVMA Take 2

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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....

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YES! - Dark Matter it is.

Coo - I got a science one. OK, our next is quite different - ANIMAL and VEGETABLE (and ABSTRACT insofaras the answer's a concept, rather than a straighforward description).

Edible?

Raak] Edible? Yes

Meat and potatoes?

A particular dish?

A vegetarian diet?

Associated with a particular geographic area?

A Stew?

Raak] Meat and potatoes? Both could be included
Darren - A particular dish? Ye..es
Rosie - A vegetarian diet? *laughter rings round the audience* No
ImNotJohn - Associated with a particular geographic area? *applause* YES
irach - A Stew? No

A soup?

Is it a recipe?

A Cornish pasty?

Is the name of the geographic area on the card?

Somewhere in the UK?

Some sort of curry?

irach] A soup? No
Kim] Is it a recipe? No
Raak] A Cornish pasty? No
ImNotJohn] Is the name of the geographic area on the card? A derivative of the name is.
rab] Somewhere in the UK? *applause* Yes
Darren] Some sort of curry? Naan

England?

Scotch broth?

That was gonna be my next guess...

Fish pie?

rab] England? *applause* Yes
Raak - Scotch broth? Nae chance
Inkspot - Fish pie? No

Sweet (as opposed to savoury)?

ImNotJohn] Sweet (as opposed to savoury)? No

Is the place name a town?

Raak] Is the place name a town? No
If the audience had been more awake, they'd have cheered rab's last guess much more loudly.

Is the place name component "English"?

Not that I can think of a di...sh called English anything.

A Sunday Roast?

Scrub that, how about A Full English Breakfast?

An English muffin?

YES! Lurking pays off! A full English it is.

Oh dear. For once I don't have a topic in store. *sound of thinkage*...

Let's have this MINERAL

An artefact?

Solid?

[INJ] Artefact? YES
[Raak] Solid? YES

Unique?

Mainly or entirely metal?

A work of art?

...that is, something made just to be appreciated rather than to be used.

[Rosie] Unique? NO
[INJ] Mainly metal? YES
[Ig] Work of art? NO

Did these exist before the 20th century?

[Raak] Pre-1901? YES

Eating implement?

Fighting implement?

Food or fighting? NO

Larger than a breadbin?

[INJ] > breadbin? YES

Any connection to transport?

Is it connected with agriculture?

Is it connected with building?

Transport? NO
Agriculture? NO
Building? NO

Does it essentially have moving parts?

Essential moving parts? YES

Is it a piece of industrial equipment?

Larger than a telephone box?

Industrial eq.? NO
Smaller than a telephone box.

A household item?

Household item? *some laughter* NO, not in the generic sense.

Does it use fuel?

No fuel (like, say, an old fuel).

Used in a typical workplace?

Is it clockwork?

Powered by human effort?

Typical workplace? NO
Clockwork? NO
Human effort? YES *applause*

A trombone?

Normally used outdoors?

[Raak] Come on, we've already been told it isn't a fighting implement.

A trombone? NO *significant and sustained applause*
Normally used outdoors? YES and NO (strictly NO)

A musical instrument?

Musical instrument? YES! *applause*

Is there a part for it in any of the Beethoven symphonies?

French horn?

Is it a percussion instrument?

Did Beethoven write for it? NO
French Horn? NO
Percussion? NO

A tuba?

Tuba? YES, but that's not the answer. *much applause and cheering*

Some member of the tuba family?

A sousaphone?

A member of the tuba family? YES!
Sousaphone? YES! Ig takes it by a short head from Raak.
According to various googleable sources, the first Sousaphones (not in their current forward-facing configuration) turned up in the 1890s, although a specific date is tricky to track down.

A short note on the use of the trombone as a fighting implement:- Only attack music stands. 100% success guaranteed.

Trivia note - one of the first John Coltrane records I ever bought was him playing with a tuba player called Ray Draper. It's not great jazz, though Coltrane is pretty good on it.
*pause for what passes for thought* OK, our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.

Begins with P?

Blimey, haven't looked at this game for a while.

Fictional?

Character of myth or legend?

Begins with E?

Unicorn?

Tuj] Begins with P? Probably not (and welcome back!)
Raak] Fictional? Yes
Kim] Character of myth or legend? No
Projoy - Begins with E? Equally unlikely
irach - Unicorn? No

A specific animal character in fiction, e.g. the White Rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland"?

An alien being??

irach - A specific animal character in fiction, e.g. the White Rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland"? *applause* YES
Inkspot - An alien being?? *giggles from sections of the audience* Probably not

Does the character normally go on two legs?

Created in the twentieth century?

Is the character in the title of the book, film, play etc?

Is the animal non-human?

Raak] Does the character normally go on two legs? Yes
Projoy] Created in the twentieth century? Yes
Rosie - Is the character in the title of the book, film, play etc? No
irach - Is the animal non-human? Hmmm...I think it's mean to be sort of human

Is its first appearance in a TV programme?

rab] Is its first appearance in a TV programme? *CANNED APPLAUSE* Yes
Thinking about irach's question, a better answer would be that you probably wouldn't think of it as a human character (though it might be).

Cat from Red Dwarf ?

A cartoon character?

Is the genre science fiction?

American TV programme?

Inkspot] Cat from Red Dwarf ? No
Raak - A cartoon character? No
Kim - Is the genre science fiction? No
Projoy - American TV programme? Yes

An alien?

Oh, you already answered that. How about A TV programme from after 1980?

Projoy] - A TV programme from after 1980? No

Howdy Doody?

Sesame Street character?

irach - Howdy Doody? Nope
Inkspot - Sesame Street character? *some applause* No

A puppet?

The Banana Splits?

Miss Piggy?

Projoy - A puppet? *the audience wave their hands appreciatively* YES!
Raak - The Banana Splits? Worst. Children's. Programme. Ever? No
irach - Miss Piggy? *collective cry of "Moi?" from the audience* Very close!

Waldorf?

Actually, forget that. Too obviously human. How about Beaker?

Animal?

Ha-ha.

Kermit?

*throws drumsticks at Tuj* AARGH! TUJ! LURKER! WINNER!

While attempting to google for information on Animal's supposed species, I found this lovely quote from the show:

Kermit the Frog: "What's wrong with your drummer? He seems a little crazed."
Sgt. Floyd Pepper (Animal's handler and bandmate): "He's just upset because he missed the Monet exhibit at the British Museum."
Animal: "RENOIR!! RENOIR!!"

Didn't meant to be lurking... I was fairly sure that was wrong...

*throws baton at Iroléguy*

...OK, not Irouléguy, someone else. But the reason I didn't take part is I have very little time on my hands! Someone else best do it.

[Tij] No, you do it. Unless you're not gonna be here to answer people's stuff..

Tuj] Sorry if I offended you - it was a joke, honest :) Do set one...
Projoy] Did you find anything one way or another?

FFS somebody start one.

Yeah, looks like Tuj has timed out.

I nominate Projoy

I'm pro Projoy as well.

Hm. Well, here's a hopefully pretty easy one, then, altho I'm interested to see how it responds to an attempt to pin it down deductively.

It's ABSTRACT with mainly ANIMAL connections (but there's arguably connections to the other two too).

Begins with P?

Yeh sorry guys, that was my point... I apologise for feigning so much offense Irouléguy :P
I'm very in-and-out at present, as you probably haven't noticed: hence 2 queries to the last one & not having been here since my last comment.

[Tuj] P, please, Bob? NO.

Is the ANIMAL in question human?

(sigh)

[Tuj] Human connection? YES, basically.
NB to all. I suspect there's going to be a few questions where true pedantry would insist on a YES AND NO answer. However, I intend to employ a bit of lassitude sometimes in order to give helpful answers.

Is it as basic as life itself?

Lassitude? Isn't that the state of being dog food? Did you mean latitude, or are you actually knackered? :-)

Oops. Yes. Latitude.
As basic as life itself? NO. Some silly people might say YES, but they are silly.

Is it something you could do in bed without help from others?

A human construct?

Tuj] No worries.

Somethihng you can do in bed alone? NO
Human construct? YES

Doesn't lassitude make you poo?

Is it a fictional 'human construct' (whatever that may be)

Is it an action?

Is it an art form?

Some people think farting is an art form, and so it is, but I didn't mean that.

[ISP] Fictional? NO
[Raak] An action? NO
[Rosie] An artform? YES

Is music involved?

This one's gonna go quickly, I think

[Lib] Music involved? YES

A musical?

Opera?

[Lib] A musical? OOOH. ALMOST. *muchos audience applause*
[Raak] Opera? OOOH. ALMOST. *muchos audience applause*
First one to the punch will nod this one in, I think.

The Musical?

Music?

Phantom of the opera?

[rab, Rosie] A touch more specific than music and a touch less than Phantom of the Opera, the words on the card are Musical Theatre, which I think is close enough for Lib to claim the victory. *passes baton to Lib in order to complete the circle of life before the parade passes by*

(Projoy) Quite so. No probs. :-)

Hello everybody. I've not done this before. Did I lurk a bit? Sorry! Hmmm. Let me think.... Right. An easy one for my first time, methinks. This one's Animal and Vegetable.

The Good Old British Sausage?

[Raak] Big Banger? No.

Is it edible?

Bigger than a toaster?

Alive?

[Irouléguy] Edible? Mmmmm. Yep! [Tuj] Bigger than a toaster? Not usually, but some would prefer it that way! [Rosie] Alive? Nah.

Hmmm, time to sign up for that basic HTML nightclass.

Begins with P?

Hahahaha!

Is the animal a specific animal (species)?

Might one eat this in a restaurant?

Opens HTML handbook....

[Tuj] No peas please. No.
[Irouléguy] Specific animal Yes.
[Raak] Rest-your-auntie? Not usually.

Is the animal a bird?

[Inkspot] Birdy song? No.

A pie of some kind?

Is this usually eaten cold?

[Rosie] Pied? No
[Irouléguy] Chilly? Not usually, but not uncommon either!

Is the animal part meat?

[Raak] Meaty goodness? Yes.

Shepherd's Pie?

er, except that fails on the "pie" technicality, doesn't it. Oh well.
Does it require significant preparation?

Is pastry involved?

Is just one type of vegetable involved?

[CdM] Significant preparation? Kinda depends on what you call significant. To a student the answer probably would be yes, as it takes more effort than putting water onto the pot noodle. To Gordon Ramsey then probably yes too, but his would be far too flouncey. To me and you, No.
[Raak] Puff? No pastry.
[Irouléguy] 5-a-Day? There is more than one type of vegetable.... *scratches chin, and hopes that isn't misleading....*

Did it originate in a particular part of the world?

[Inkspot] Original? Yes, I think so.

Pizza?

Is bread involved?

Chip Butty?

Fast food?

[Projoy] Pizza? No.
[Raak] Right said Fred? Yes! (Much applause from the audience)
[INJ] Chip butty Nah.
[rab] Speedy eats? Not so fast, No within traditional definitions although they have become a bit blurred.
You're all getting very warm...

Bacon sandwich?

*Apologises for lurking*

*hits Uncle Korky over the head with a nice bacon butty for winning having lurked* Well Done Guys. Uncle Korky has seized the victory. The words on the card are indeed A Bacon Sandwich. I was rather impressed at Raak's first guess, well done that man!

Oops!

OK - I'll reiterate my apologies! Hopefully this'll be easy enough to guess so that someone more appropriate can take over the reins quickly... This one's animal and vegetable.

Sausages?

[Projoy] Walls have ears? Nope.

Is the animal part alive?

Foodstuff?

Is the animal a specific animal (species)?

it was right lat time...

[Projoy] Livin' thing? Definitely not
[Lib] Munchable? Nope
[Irg] Particular genus? Not one specific one, no...

Elephant's foot umbrella stand?

[INJ] Leg of Nellie No - not a specific animal, remember? :-) (Although one or two audience members were heard to murmur at INJ's question...)

Larger than a toaster?

[Lib] On the appliance graph... Yes, definitely bigger than a toaster

A stuffed animal head mounted on a wall?

Is the animal part leather?

Does it involve an elephant?

Bigger than a phone box?

Is it something you wear?

[Irg] "Bagged that one at..." 'fraid not
[Raak] Tanning? Yes indeedy! (outbreak of audience applause)
[Lib] More Nellie? Unlikely in the extreme!
[Projoy] TARDIS-shaped? Bigger? Difficult to say, but I'd tend towards "No". Certainly not taller.
[Inkspot] Apparrel? No (although someone extremely pedantic might argue this one).

Is it intended for protection?

(The 'elephant's foot umbrella stand' used to be a common standby in early ISIHAC Word Disassociation games)

[INJ] Safe whatever? No (but this also might be argued by someone extremely pedantic). Didn't know that about the 'EFUS' - ta!

A wigwam?

[Projoy] Teepee-tastic? No. Surely wigwams are taller than telephone boxes?

Is the leather part in the form of straps, rather than hides stitched together?

Not the one I made at infant school :) Admittedly, that wasn't leather.

[Projoy] Bondage gear? No.
I'd be interested in reading your reports from Mrs Crazy Horse...

Is it a manufactured item?

[Inkspot] "Men have made these..." Indeed it is. (Burst of applause from audience)

Is the vegetable part wood?

[Raak] Wood? Yes (or equivalent). (More applause)

A whip?

[Irg] *k'tishhhh!* Nope.

Something you sit on?

A piece of furniture?

[Rosie] Seating? Yes! (Applause, some cheering)
[Lib] Furnishings? 'fraid not.

Saddle?

Pic-nic table with leather decorations?!?!

[irach] Saddle? Nope, but there're indications that things are getting warmer...
[Lib] Words fail me... How can I put this...? No, and I'm not convinced that I want to go on a picnic with you now... :-)

Some sort of sledge?

Is seating its primary function?

I was going to suggest a Throne. But I presume UK would have called it a piece of furniture.

A chesterfield?

Sorry misread that - let's try
a chariot?

A shooting stick?

[Projoy] Sister? No (although the audience did sense a positive shift in direction here)
[Lib] Reason why? I would not say that the seating aspect is the primary function, although (clue) I believe that it is an essential factor
[INJ] Boudicca?No (although the audience have again seized on something here)
[Rosie] Bang bang? Sorry - way off the mark.

Rickshaw?

A means of transport?

Do it got wheels?

[Inkspot] Rickshaw? Sorry, no
[Rosie] Transportation? Most definitely (copious applause from audience)
[Projoy] Dey go round 'n' round? No wheels here...

A water-borne craft?

[Inkspot] Splosh Certainly is! (some audience standing to applaud now)

A kayak?

A coracle?

A rowboat?

A scull?

*blatantly lurking * - a dinghy?

Lurking behind Chalky

The Kon-Tiki?

We have a winner!

Hats off to Irouléguy - the actual words on the card were "A Traditional Welsh Coracle", but he's close enough to merit the win in my opinion! Comiserations to everyone else!

Well, that was a half-lurk, at least - apologies to those who did the hard work. With my usual impeccable timing, I'm keyboardless most of tonight and tomorrow, so let's have an easy(ish) one - our next is MINERAL and VEGETABLE.

A manufactured item?

irach] A manufactured item? *animated discussion in the audience* The more useful answer is 'no'.

Tin of Baked Beans?

Kim] Tin of Baked Beans? No (though this might go well with it)

Maybe back online later tonight - sorry, folks

Is the mineral salt?

Food?

oven ready chips?

Was the debate about manufacturing because there is preparation involved?

Mashpertater?

Is the vegetable Antony Worrall-Thompson?

Larger than a can of coke?

irach] Is the mineral salt? *applause* Yes!
Raak] Food? No(though this might go well with it)<
Inkspot] oven ready chips? See above
CdM - Was the debate about manufacturing because there is preparation involved? *more applause* Yes!
Projoy - Mashpertater? I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous-but-one answer.
I Say, Porter! - Is the vegetable Antony Worrall-Thompson? No
Lib - Larger than a can of coke? This doesn't really have a size

Apologies for the delay - as a partial defence, I was delayed in The Doric Arch until closing time, so I was in the Morniverse in spirit.

Celery Salt?

Or is the vegetable pepper?

Projoy] Berry astute - salt and pepper it is. One lightly seasoned baton handed over...

OK, here's an ABSTRACT

Can you see it?

Visible? NO

Can it be perceived by the other four traditional senses?

Olfactable, Audible, Haptable, Linguable? NO

Er, having looked those up, I think I meant "olfactible, audible, tactible, gustable"

Truth?

Quid est veritas? NO

Is it a human construct?

Mathematical?

Human construct? YES
Numberish? NO

Is it a system of government?

Is it a British thing?

government? NO
British? NO, not exclusively

Solitude?

The absence of something?

Solitude? SORT OF *audience applause*
Absence of something? YES *more applause*

Have you lots your mind?

aargh. Sorry. That's wrong. I mean lost and not lots...

[Lib] No, I haven't since you ask. :)

Bereavement?

Bereavement? NO *more applause*

Death?

DEATH? NO

Widowhood?

Solipsism?

Widowhood? YES, the very word on the card. That went surprisingly quickly. Over to Rosie.

Well, that was a bit lucky, so here we go with something less grim, and it's MINERAL

Diamond?

(Lib) No, not as un-grim as that, I'm afraid.

Metallic?

Manufactured?

A particular element?

(Projoy) Not metallic, essentially.
(Lib) Manufactured would be rather an odd description, but, actually, YES.
(Irouléguy) Not an element.

Made by hand?

A liquid?

Extruded?

(Projoy) Partly hand-made, mostly not.
(Irouléguy) Not a liquid. *audience laughter*
(ISP) Not extruded. *further merriment*. Sorry about the audience; they're a cruel lot.

One specific thing?

Silly putty?

(Tuj) One specific thing? - Very much so.
(Raak) Very much not so.

Is it solid?

(Raak) YES- solid.

I think I should add that the subject also has an ABSTRACT quality, which maybe ought to have been in the original definition, otherwise this may take ages.

Fictional?

Oscar?

Bigger than a toaster?

(Projoy) It really exists.
(ISP) Not an Oscar.
(Tuj) If not it would have to be some toaster, so YES.

Are there many examples of it?

Do you own one?

Artwork? Sculpture?

(Projoy) There is but one.
(Lib) Erm, no. *audience hilarity*.
(ISP) Not art or sculpture.

Is it in Britain?

Is it outside?

The holy grail?

tourist attraction?

(Raak) YES - in Britain.
(Lib) *some thoughtful audience murmurs - some suppressed giggles* In the sense you ask, YES. Not the holy grail, though.
(ISP) Probably, in a very minor way.

An architectural construction?

Is it associated with Monty python? (Or am I very naughty girl?)

Stonehenge?

Some huge image carved out of the hillside somewhere?

On the coast?

(Raak) Not really architecture.
(ISP) Not Stonehenge or a man with a huge willy.
(Lib) NO, and I'D SAY YES :-)
(Projoy) On the coast? Not really ON it so much as . . .

The Coast?

The white cliffs of Dover?

Or a particular part of the British coast?

The Sands of Dee?

The Jurassic coast?

(Projoy 1) Not the coast itself.
(Lib) Not the White Cliffs.
(Projoy 2) Not The Coast anywhere.
(irach) Not the Sands of Dee.
(Irouléguy) Not the ~Jurassic coast.

You have all wandered into the outer regions of darkness where it is very cold. Look at the answer to Lib's second question. This is man-made.

A lighthouse?

(Inkspot) Not a lighthouse.

Made of stone?

A structure for sea defence?

A connection with transportation?

Chunnel?

Is it bigger than a standard ex-council three bed semi?

Projoy - YES, made of stone.
Raak - Not a sea defence.
Inkspot - YES, connected with transport *audience cheers*
ISP - Not the Chunnel, but *HUGE audience cheers*
Lib - Certainly is in one direction, maybe two.

Bah! Humber! Is it a bridge or similar construction?

The Seikan Tunnel?

[Raak] That's stretching the 'yes' for your earlier 'in Britain' question a bit far...

Is it a road?

Is it a tunnel?

ISP - NO, not a bridge
Raak - See ISP's comment.
Chalky - NO, not a road.
Lurker Kim - YES, it's a tunnel.

Is it in England?

Uncle Korky (lurking again)

A railway tunnel?

The Severn Tunnel?

The Blackwall Tunnel?

The world's first passenger train tunnel, the 800-yard Tyler Hill Tunnel?

One of the tunnels which make up LU?

Lib1 - Half of it
UK lurker - YES
Chalky - Not the Blackwall Tunnel
Lib2 - Would I put up anything as arcane as that? 828 yds, BTW :-)
ISP - Not part of the tube.

But we have a winner, and it's RAAK, with the Severn Tunnel. Your go.

The next is primarily MINERAL, with a small ABSTRACT connection.

No, scratch that, the next one is ABSTRACT, with MINERAL connections, tenuously related to Rosie's one.

Actually, it's ABSTRACT and ANIMAL, with a MINERAL connection tenuously related to Rosie's one.

Iron horse?

Is it an organisation?

Shurely not Riddlesdown Tunnel?

An excavation?

[irach] Not an iron horse.
[Inkspot] Not an organisatsion.
[Rosie] Not Riddlesdown Tunnel.
[Rosie] Nor an excavation.

Is the mineral connection the River Severn?

[Irou] Not connected with the River Severn. The connection is more indirect.

Is there a railway connection?

[UK] No railway connection. BTW, the mineral connection is unlikely to be helpful in solving this.

Human construct?

Is the animal human?

[CdM] The mineral connection is.
[Kim] Yes, human.

Is this a space for the use of humans?

[Rosie] Not a space.

Are we talking more than one construct here...?

[UK] No: one mineral construction tenuously related to the actual answer.

Is there just one of these?

[I] Just one (of both the actual answer and the tenuously and completely unhelpfully related mineral construction).

Is this really as complicated as it seems?

Am I correct in assuming the term "construct" is not being used in the sense of an idea or invention but in this case simply means a structure?

A bus shelter, say, as opposed to anarcho-syndicalism.

[Chalky] Not at all complicated. Just an ABSTRACT ANIMAL that I expect everyone has heard of.
[Rosie] Yes: the unhelpfully distantly related mineral thingummy is a physical structure.

Was it built during the Victorian era?

[I] Um...[google]...no.

Does it commemorate an event?

[Inkspot] Not commemorative.

And to answer again the "human construct" question (a concept I'm not quite clear on), the ABSTRACT ANIMAL is a human creation.

[Inkspot] Oh, and the ABSTRACT ANIMAL was created in the Victorian era.

Is it a place in the physical world associated with a fictional person?

[Inkspot] Quite the reverse.

Is the person a synecdoche? e.g. "the unknown soldier"?

[Projoy] Not synecdocheic. Synecdochoic. Synecdochish.

Does this mean... that we're looking for a fictional person associated with a place in the physical world...?

[UK] That is the nub, gist, and essence of the matter. Of course, the association is tenuous and unhelpful.

From the works of Lewis Carroll?

[I] applause! Yes.

The lion, from the Lion, the witch and the wardrobe?

Hmm. I sense I accidently lurked as went away for the weekend. Sorry! But its probably not right anyway.

[Lib] ROWRR! Not Aslan.

Alice herself, perhaps?

[UK] Not Alice.

The Mad Hatter?

Cheshire cat?

AArgh. I do realise what I've done above... I feel such a confused fool. sigh. Sorry for being such a plank.

Mr Tumnus, Idi Amin's doctor?

[irach] Not the Mad Hatter.
[Lib] Not the Cheshire cat. (Don't worry, ISP's just done the same.)
[ISP] I'll have whatever you're smoking.

Tweedledum (or-dee)

A character exclusively from "Through The Looking Glass"?

The queen of Hearts?

Who made some tarts.

Jabberwock? Althogh I'm not clear to which place the Jabberwock is tenuously connected

[re: C.S. Lewis Carroll] In my defence, Lib started it.

[Raak] Mr Tumnus - Narnia - James McAvoy - Last King of Scotland

The Snark (who was a Boojum, you see)

[irach] is that 'Number 23... the Snark' ... 'Number 24 The Spanish Inquisition'

In the Alice books?

[irach] Not Tweedledum-diddle-dee.
[Projoy] Yes! From "Through The Looking Glass".
Hence also [INJ] Yes, and [everyone else] No.

The Carpenter (of Walrus and the Carpenter fame?)

Humpty Dumpty

(who I believe has a particular connection to a particular wall in Gloucester)

[irach] Not the Carpenter.
[Projoy] Not Humpty Dumpty.

One of the chess pieces?

The Red King?

The White Queen?

[I] Yes, one of the chess pieces.
[i] Not the Red King.
[P] Not the White Queen.

http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext91/lglass19.txt

A silly English kernnnnnnigget?

[ISP] Yes! But which one?

The White Knight?

Tho I'm not sure of the mineral connection. Is it the "design/To keep the Menai bridge from rust/By boiling it in wine"?

The knight who says 'Ni!'

[Projoy] That sounds tenuous and unhelpful to me.

In the interest of balance, I feel compelled to ask... the Black Knight?

[UK] It's just a flesh wound. What Black Knight? Have you confused Through the Looking Glass with Monty Python and the Holy Grail? If so, my fault.

I confess - I've never read the book... made an assumption based on chess that if there's a white knight, the should be a black knight. I suppose you're going to tell me it's red instead! :-)

Indeed it is, so either you or Projoy has won (unless there are other knights I didn't notice).

Technically, there are four knights, and the white one Alice meets, according to Carroll's detailed schema for the book, is the White King's knight. The other Knight is the Unicorn. On the red side, the Red Knight that the White Knight fights is also the King's knight, with the Carpenter as the Queen's Knight. (The Walrus is the Red Queen's bishop and the Lion is the Red King's rook).

(Incidentally, the White Knight has Hatta (the Mad Hatter from the first book) as his pawn)

[Projoy] It is indeed The White Knight, and you have correctly identified the tenuous and unhelpful connection with water-traversing constructions.
[UK] You must read it, and Alice in Wonderland forthwith!

OK. This one is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.

Something you would find in the home?

A model of a Modern Major-General?

Human animal?

Is the vegetable wood?

[ISP] Found in the home? NO
[Lib] Human? YES, but somewhat misleading
[irach] Vegetable wood? YES, but also somewhat misleading.

Is it a single thing or are there loads of them?

A grave?

[Lib] A single thing? NO
[Raak] A grave? NO, but that may be involved

[Lib] Single thing? Well, actually, YES, this is a single thing (there is not more than one of it), but then again, it isn't.

Heather Mills' prosthetic wooden leg/

[irach] NO :)

Is the mineral metal?

[Ig] YES, but somewhat misleading.

A coffin?

A collection of objects or people?

Scrap "coffin". Must've pressed the wrong button.

[Rosie] A collection of objects or people? YES! That should save a lot of misleading answers!

Life, the Universe and Everything?

A nation?

Delimited geographically?

[INJ] The whole caboodle? NO
[UK] A nation? NO
[INJ] Delimited geographically? YES *applause*

A graveyard?

[Raak] Thriller? NO

Tate Modern or simlah?

[ISP] Art gallery? NO

Do these people have some common interest?

Haven't heard caboodle since my Mum died. Or shemozzle, though I use it myself.

[Rosie] A common interest? ARGUABLY. More YES than NO, I'd say.

Is this some sort of educational institution?

[Chalky] Nursery, school, college, Uni etc.? NO

A place? Geographical-like?

A geographicalistical place? YES!

A large city?

Not Pontefract, for example.

In Europe?

A smallish location ( a single building/city block or smaller)?

Clarification required. When you answered 'yes' to 'Is the mineral metal?', did that mean that some of the mineral involved was metal, but not necessarily all?

[Rosie] Large city? NO
[Ig] European? YES
[INJ] Smallish? NO, as you define it.
Clarification: metal is involved, but also many other minerals; there is a similarly wide variety of vegetable and animal matter.

A population centre?

[ISP] Population centre? YES, if I've understood the terminology.

St Dogmaels?

Gone, but not forgotten.

In a BENELUX country?

By population centre I meant town, village etc.

[INJ] St Dogmaels? NO *some applause*
[ISP] Benelux? NO

In Wales?

Powys to the People?

[Raak] Wedi ei wneud yng Nghmru? YES! *more applause*
[ISP] In Powys? NO

In it to Gwynedd?

[ISP] Gwynedd? NA

In south Wales

With a questionmark?

Is there a Doctor Who connection?

The contents of the Torchwood vaults?

Can you wear it? [re: Torchwood] Shurely Cardiff is bigger than Pontefract, apart from the obvious 280000 more inhabitants.

A oes cysylltiad a'r Morniverse?

Sort that out, y' bugger. :-)

[Rosie] That;s never a direct translation of 'sort that out y'bugger'

(ISP) Dead right. Actually it means Is there a connection with the . . . . . ., for the benefit of all, esp. Projoy.

[Rosie] Ah, but connections with the Morniverse are myriad, just check the appendixes to your Stovold's.

Appendices!

[Ig] South Wales? NO
[UK] Doctor Who? NO (that I can think of)
[Raak] Torchwood connection? NO
[ISP] Can you wear it? Have you ever worn a population centre?
[Rosie] Connected with the Morniverse? Hey, that's the first time a word I coined (well, I think I coined it) has been used in a Welsh sentence. :) NO.

Centre for Alternative technology?

Random tourist attraction generator in action there.

[Lib] CAT? NO. Not in Powys (see response to ISP above).

On the coast?

[Ig] Going Coastal? YES

Near the Menai Bridge?

Is it in Ceredigion?

Portmeirion?

That was more action from the Random Tourist attraction generator.

Is the generally used name of English origin, eg Swansea?

(ISP) I can no longer even lift my copy of Stovold's without doing my back in.

[Raak] Near the Menai Bridge? YES *applause*
[Chalky] Ceredigion? NO
[Lib] The village? NO
[Rosie] Anglicised name? NO!
I think the next person should be able to nod this one in.

Wild stab in the dark... Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?

Can you wear it?

[Projoy] It's not CARDIGAN then.

[Uncle Korky] Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch? YDY!! One extremely lengthy baton handed over. [ISP] Ah!

Still feel a bit of a fraud & lurker... still, something to be said for being in the right place at the right time... OK - I'm thinking of something ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.

Fictional creature?

[UK] Fret not about lurking, you did ask a couple of questions before getting it - it's not as if the answer was your only contribution on our communal road to Anglesey via Pontefract and other major population centres in Western Europe.

[IS,P] NO. The more I think about what I've picked, the more uncertain I become with the definition at the top. Let's say... ABSTRACT, with an ANIMAL connection, and hope I don't get lynched.

Is it a creature as such, then?

Maybe I'll let someone else play in a bit.

[IS,P] NOT A CREATURE. Oh, you go for it! :-) At least no-one can suggest you've been lurking! lol

Re: At least no-one can suggest you've been lurking

... or working!

A symbol?

A Human Construct?

An edifice?

[Raak] NOT A SYMBOL
[Chalky] HUMAN CONSTRUCT? ERM... TECHNICALLY... although this could be misleading...
[IS,P] NOT AN EDIFICE

Mad Cow Disease?

Many instances of it?

Tennis Elbow?

A figure of speech?

[IS,P] MOO? NOO!
[Projoy] NO (but this also could be misleading...)
[Chalky] NO - not even Badminton Bottom
[Raak] NO

Is the Animal connection necessarily human?

[Rosie] The animal connection is DEFINITELY human.

Does it refer to something that occurs naturally?

[Projoy] NO *some chuckles from audience members*

An ailment of some kind?

Sex-related?

[IS,P] NO *further chuckles from cynical audience members*
[snorgle] NO - not that I've noticed, anyway...

Is this a GOOD thing, would you say?

[Korks] Could erm ... would ... um .. you kindly pop a word or two from the question next to your reply so we don't have to search back .. pretty please :-)

Clothing or accessory?

To do with belief?

Is this found in Britain?

Could you give me one?

A double entendre?

(forced)

Connected in any way with a piece of technology?

(INJ) Forced, my fifth metatarsal. You're only marginally less salacious than Lib, not that that's saying much.

[Rosie] You know me so well, and we've never properly met!

(Lib) Shall we nip off while Uncle Korky's not looking?

Apologies for absence - not getting online at weekends at the moment. [Chalky] Comments noted and agreed! [Rosie] Comment noted - see me after class!
[Chalky] A good thing? Very much a matter of opinion.
[ISP] Clothing / Accessory? Nope.
[Projoy] Belief? I don't wish to mislead you, but many would say it's more a matter of disbelief. I hope you'll see the humour in this when you know the answer!
[Irg] In UK? Sometimes...
[Lib]I'm not that kind of chap - you'd have to buy me dinner first! Oh... er... no! :-)
[INJ] Double entendre? Non!
[Rosie] Connected with technology? Not specifically.

Any religious connection?

[Irg] God-bothering? Nope.

Connected with fiction?

[Projoy] Fiction? No (sadly not, according to some)

Global-Warming deniers?

[Rosie] Global warming deniers? No. And, as a first clue, we're looking for something more frivolous.

Food- or drink-related?

Connected with the arts?

Connected with the Morniverse?

[Irg] Scoff/quaff? No.
[Projoy] Arty? Yes *applause*.
[IS,P] Morniversal? Nope.

Skulpchah?

A particular artwork?

[IS,P] Bust? Nope
[Projoy] You've been framed? Nope

A particular artform? (can include really crap ones!)

[Projoy] I feel it would be safer to describe it as an example of a particular artform...

An example of a particular artform which is not an artwork. Curiouser and curiouser.

Karaoke?

Connected with the Visual arts?

[Projoy] Empty orchestra? Nope, but the audience knows a positive change in direction when they see it!
[INJ] Visual arts? There is a connection...

The winning entry in the Eurovision Song Contest?

That's near enough for me! The answer on the card was The Eurovision Song Contest, so a frequently cheesy and tone-deaf is passed to Irouléguy by Terry Wogan!

Erm... the word "baton" should have appeared in that sentence... *slinks away embarrassed*

I've never understood the appeal of Eurovision, myself *ducks*.
O-OK, our next is ABSTRACT with strong MINERAL connections, possibly ANIMAL or VEGETABLE or BOTH

A human construct?

Does it have its own wikipedia entry?

The activities of a group of people?

(Irg) No need to duck. Even when "ah were a lad" I thought it pretty awful and that's going back a bit. It actually seems to have got worse over the years, something we then didn't think possible.

Fictional?

I Say, Porter! - A human construct? Possibly.
Projoy - Does it have its own wikipedia entry? *Googles, Wikis* Yes. The words on the card actually have several Wiki pages, and a disambiguation page, but not all of them refer to the actual answer.
Rosie - The activities of a group of people? Possibly in the future
Eurovision] Mind you, I didn't think heavy metal could get any worse either...
Tuj - Fictional? This exists in fiction, but it may not be fictional.

A process

Projoy - A process? In one sense, possibly (but I don't think that's very useful).

Religious?

Tuj - Religious? It might be (and in several fictional representations definitely is).

An icon?

I Say, Porter! - An icon? No, Cina.

Clarification - are the animal and/or vegetable aspects also "connections" or do they refer to The Answer itself?

The animal and/or vegetable aspects may be The Answer (though none of the words on the card are animal or vegetable names)

A biological classification?

Is it a three word answer?

Rosie - A biological classification? *applause* YES
Chalky - Is it a three word answer? *more applause* YES
As a further clarification, The Answer could also be neither animal nor vegetable.

Genetically Modified Goods?

Scrub that... Is it connected with cloning?

Projoy - Is it connected with cloning? It might be (that would have served as an answer to the GM question as well).

Single-celled organism?

(I know it isn't this, but just throwing a stone to see if it hits anything)

Genus, species, commonname?

Wouldn't even know where to begin with this one...!

(stealing an extra go as this one's so hard) Is it connected with mutation?

Is at least one of the words on the card Latin?

Projoy - Single-celled organism? It could be.
Lib - Genus, species, commonname? No to all
Uncle Korky - Wouldn't even know where to begin with this one...! The answer is a very common phrase, which I think everyone will recognise (not least because of its use in other contexts).
Projoy - Is it connected with mutation? It might be.
Rosie - Is at least one of the words on the card Latin? No - all plain English

Rosie] To be properly pedantic, one of the words is a Latin word which is in everyday use in English.

Something to do with alien life?

(It's not "little green men" as all three of those words are Germanic in origin).

Projoy - Something to do with alien life? *the audience begin humming John Williams tunes* YES

Extra Terrestrial Beings?

Unidentified Flying Objects?

Projoy - Extra Terrestrial Beings? Yes, but more specifically...
Raak - Unidentified Flying Objects? No

Invaders from Mars?

(or possibly just Life on Mars, I suppose.)

*Sailors fighting in the dancehall
Oh man, look at those cavemen go*
Life on Mars it is - which I thought would be got a lot sooner. Hopefully we'll grok the next one quicker...

Huzzah! I slightly carpet-bombed my way to that one, but I was bored at work today... Had a few abstracts lately, so here's an honest-to-goodness VEGETABLE

Actually, I just thought of a better one, which is NONE OF THE ABOVE

Gravity?

[Raak] Newton/Apple? NO

Can I hold it?

Is it a feeling or sensation of sorts?

[Lib] Can you hold it? NO
[irach] A feeling/sensation? NO

[Lib] There is an extremely unhelpful, but nonetheless plausible case in which one could be said to hold this thing, but NO is by far the best answer.

Nothing?

None of the above! I'd imagined that may be argued with.

A vacuum?

Not a Hoover, Dyson, Dustette, Electrolux Lite etc.

[Tuj] Nowt? NO
[Rosie] Vacuum? NO

Is it fictional?

Not Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract?

[UK] Fictional? NO, or 'twould be abstract
[Chalky] None of those.

[Chalky] If you put a gun to my head I might call it as "mineral-esque"

Is it on this planet?

[UK] On Earth? YES

Is it a form of energy?

Light?

[UK] Form of energy? YES, pretty much
[Néa] Light? YES, to an extent *applause for both questions*

A rainbow?

"My bowe betwene you and mee/in the fyrmamente shalbe"? NO

A photon?

[UK] Photon? NOT OHP.

Electromagnetic radiation?

Lightning?

Fire?

[UK] Good guess!

[rab] Electromagnetic radiation? IT IS INVOLVED...
[UK] Lightning? NO
[Tuj] Fire? YES, altho as this has been short, I shall be a stickler and note that that is not what's written on the card.

Is it all about elementary particles?

Well, everything is, but you know what I mean.

[Rosie] Elemental, my dear boson? YES, but Tuj pretty much has his finger on the answer. At this moment it's a mere matter of near-synonymity.

Flames?

A pestilential conflagration of vapours

[UK] Close enough. The words on the card are A Flame. Hands immolatory Olympic torch to Uncle Korky

[Projoy] Thanks, my good sir!
[Tuj] Apologies - seems I was more bored at work today than you!
Why do I do this? Win just before the weekend, when I won't be online 'til I'm back in the office at 8.30 on Monday? Never mind, it'll give you all a chance to get your thinking caps on again... This one's MINERAL.

A single specific object?

I am genuinely doing this in a (temporarily paused) meeting.

Naturally occurring?

[Raak] You think that's impressive? I frequently post to MC sites in meetings, even, occasionally, bi-lateral ones.

Ok, I am now posting from a meeting in progress.

Mainly metal?

Well, I'm posting, between shovelfuls, from the footplate of a large steam engine which I can hardly stand up on. Bloody railtours.

Well, I'M not even bothering to post a question - so there :)

(Chalks) Very sensible, m'dear. We could have a discussion on the likely subject in the light of UK's previous, the Eurovsion Song contest. As it's mineral shall a start the ball rolling by suggesting an OLD HEAVY CHINA TEAPOT, which could be hurled at the box during the broadcast of this ludicrous eisteddfod.

Potty syntax - "shall a" = "I shall".

Diamond?

It's got to come up one day.

edible?

Related to salt?

Why have I guessed three times? I dunno, I just felt like it.

Well, I'm not posting this from a meeting, it being Saturday morning, but I am listening to Radio 4 while riding a unicycle and cooking breakfast for four hundred Swedish Naval officers.

It's now Sunday and I'm posting this from the Dome of St. Paul's cathedral, where I'm wearing a "Kiss Me Slow" hat and blessing nearby paupers with holy porridge.

[Projoy] Yer mad you :-) AND why are you posting so early when we've all lost an hour's sleep? Talking of lost hours, which we weren't, but I'm going to anyway ... how long can I get away with the "oops sorry I'm late waking up/for work/cooking the dinner, but my head tells me it's still a whole hour earlier"?

This is AVMA, yes? I'm still not posting a question, so there.

[Chalky] The lost hour thing doesn't last for long I'm afraid. I was a particularly happy bunny as I was on nights this time (apart from the fact that it was over my birthday, so I had to work twice on said day) but I gained the short shift when 1am magically became 2am.

Can you hold it?

I am playing this game. All alone at the moment. Anyone want to play with me?

Okay, folks - weekend's over, and can give you my full attention once more:
[Raak] Single specified object? YES, but might be misleading
[Projoy] Naturally occurring? YES
[Rosie] Mainly metal? ERM... QUITE POSSIBLY. Teapot? ERM... NO
[Lib] Diamond? NO. Edible? NO (audience is amused). Related to salt? NO.
[Projoy] There's another 'AMVA game' on this site, y'know!

Smaller than a toaster?

Erm, still wondering if you can hold it...

[Lib]

[Lib] Smaller than a toaster? NO. Manually graspable? NO.

Larger than a phone box?

Size does matter!

Bigger than St. Paul's?

Bigger than Wales?

[Lib] Larger than a phone box? YES. Size matters? Hmmph. Well, I've never had any complaints...
[Raak] Bigger than St Paul's? YES
[Lib] Bigger than Wales? YES

The Earth?

[Lib] Terra firma? NO

The planet Mercury?

[Rosie] Mercury? NO

Part of the Earth?

Bigger than the moon?

[Raak] Part of the Earth? NO
[Lib] Bigger than the moon? YES

Bigger than the Earth?

I'm going to get its size eventually!

[Lib] Bigger than the Earth? I'd have to say YES, although (and this is a big game-ending clue) this would be AS A WHOLE...

The Universe?

Erm, sorry guys. I'm revising you see. Get easily distracted from the finer points of pharmacology.

[Lib] The whole caboodle? NO

The Kuiper belt?

The galaxy?

Is it gaseous?

Does it contain more mass than the earth?

*Wanders in. Remembers last time. Beats a hasty retreat.*

The (main) asteroid belt?

(According to Wikipedia, "The total mass of the Asteroid belt is estimated to be 3.0-3.6×1021 kilograms,[4][5] which is 4% of the Earth's Moon. Of that total mass, one-third is accounted for by Ceres alone.")

The moons of Jupiter?

[Raak] Kuiper belt? TOO FAR OUT, MAN...
[Lib] The Galaxy? NO
Tuj] Gaseous? NO (although probably depends on your sense of scale!)
[Rosie] More mass than the Earth? APPARENTLY NOT! Glad I didn't have to look that one up myself!
[Irouléguy] Tie 'em down, child! NO
[Projoy] The (main) asteroid belt? We have a winner! One knobbly and rock-encrusted baton passed on!

Just passing...

Oops, overslept this morning so only just saw this. I won't be able to check in until this evening, but in the meantime have this VEGETABLE

s/check in/check in again

Broccoli?

[Lib] George H. W. Bush's least favourite food? NO

Edible?

Manufactured?

Wooden?

Unique?

Fictional?

Now extinct?

[Ig] Edible? YES
[Lib] Manufactured? NO
[Raak] Wooden? NO
[Tuj] Unique? NO
[ISP] Fictional? NO
[UK] Extinct? NO

One vegetable or made of many?

[Lib] YES, er, NO... er...

Grown in Britain?

Common?

[Raak] Grown in Blighty? NO
[Lib] Common? DEPENDS, but not common in Britain, for example.
[Lib] Further clarification on your last. I was slightly fatuously pretending not to know what you meant as it wasn't a yes/no question. There is, however, a clear answer: ONE VEGETABLE.

A piece of fruit?

Have a banana.

Begins with P?

[Lib] Fruit? YES! *applause*
[Tuj] P-headed? NO

A berry?

[Ink] I come not to praise Caesar...? NO

~~pomegranite~~
~~pear~~
~~plum~~
~~peach~~
~~persimmon~~
~~paw-paw~~
~~papaya~~
~~pomelo~~
~~passion fruit~~
durian?

WHO BROUGHT THAT DURIAN IN HERE?

Grows on a tree? (rather than a bush/on the ground etc)

Inna bunch?

Mango?

[CdM] Durian? NO
[INJ] On a tree? NO
[Ink] Bunched? NO
[Lib] Mango? NO

Equal to or larger than your average avacado?

[Lib] >= avocado's number? NO

Is it eaten with its skin rather than peeled?

Is it a berry?

Grown in Europe?

[Lib] BZZZT!

Drat! I read PJ's reply, and I didn't think that berries were bunched so I got confused, I'll try again...

Does it have a stone?

Is it a dried fruit?

Avocado's Number. I like that. :-)

I Say, Porter!

[Lib] They're not, I think the BZZZT was for repetition of 'is it a berry' half an hour after Projoy had said 'no'.

Can it be eaten raw?

[Inks] skIn? NO
[UK] EU? NO
[Rosie] Dried? NO
[Ig] Edible raw? YES (I think).

Is it usually served as/in a drink?

Have you ever eaten one (or part of)?

Dr [Inks] ? NO
[Rosie] Have I eaten one? NO

Have I ever eaten one?

[CdM] I wouldn't put it past you.

originally from Africa?

Lib's question about being stoned still awaits an answer.

A tropical fuit?

Does it stink as badly as a durian?

Is it generally considered to be a suitable foodstuff for humans?

[Lib] Got stone? NO (sorry for delay)
[INJ] Out of Africa? YES
[Inks] Tropical? I THINK SO (arguable, I think)
[Raak] My dog's got no nose? NO
[UK] Fit for human consumption? YES.

Peanuts?

[INJ] See response to Tuj.

Does its plant have thorns?

Can't help myself...

[flerdle] Does it have runic letters on it? YES, and nice to see you back here.

:-)

pequi?

Don't really know what one of those is.

Ps. Hello flerdle. Lovely to see you.

[Lib] See response to Tuj :)

Bah!

Green when ripe?

[ISP] Green when ripe? NO

Is it a nut?

[I knew I should have said 'Ground Nuts')

orange colour?

[INJ] Nut? NOT
[Lib] orange? YES!

Mandarin?

Naartjie?

(though actually that grows on a tree)

Tangerine?

That's more african, I believe.

Something Cactussy?

[Lib] ... but not quite 'Tree-NO' or 'Thorns-YES'.

Hmmmm. Indeed. *strokes chin and ponders*

[Lib] Mandolin? NO
[INJ] Naartjie? NO
[Lib] Tangerine? NO
[ISP] Cactussy? NOT REALLY.

Thy search hath borne fruit

A recap: An edible fruit, native to Africa. It is orange (when ripe), grows on a bush, which boasts thorns, and does not begin with P. It is larger than an avocado and does not contain a stone. It is not a berry, nor, as a free clue, a citrus fruit.

Larger than an avacado?

I was working on smaller than...

Does it have pips?

If it does then I'll never eat it. I've got a mild phobia of pips. They're horrid! Keep them away from me.

[Lib, re size] That would be understandable, now that I come to realise that I clearly don't know the difference between < and > ! Curses, and apologies. In addition to being definitely larger than an avocado, it is not eaten with its skin and I'm not sure if it would be described as tropical, altho I can see reasons why it might.

[Lib] Pipped to the post? YES

Does it belong to the melon family?

Size certainly matters, as I'm sure you know! But its easy to get confused. I'm particularly bad at right and left, slightly concerning when I'm at work and these things matter!

[Lib] Of the House of Melon? YES! *muchos applause*

The orange melon?

[Raak] The Orange Melon? NO

Honeydew melon?

I'd like to retract that, Can I guess...

Canteloupe?

ah, size makes all the difference. p.s. you can get orange honeydews.

Is it grown in New Zealand?

[Lib] Honeydew or Canteloupe? NO
[flerdle] Grown in NZ? YES

Horned Melon?

[Lib] Horned Melon? (or Horny Melon, as I like to call it) YES!!. And just in time for me to get on a train to Manchester and disappear for a few hours. Apologies once again for misleading you all about the size. * hands bulbous, spiky baton to Lib*

*Wonders if she'll bump into Projoy tonight when she ventures into central Manchester for a concert...*
Right. ABSTRACT, MINERAL with possibly some ANIMAL thrown in.

Second thoughts. That one was crap....

ABSTRACT, with some ANIMAL and MINERAL.

A fictional thingy?

A hip operation?

A human concept

I keep using that, saw it first here, have no idea what it means really.

[IS,P] Totally fictitious? NO. [Rosie] Hip, Hip Horray? NO. [IS,P] Humane? YES.

Hmmm, missing some breaks I think. Will be better next time!

Can you tell us what the first one was without giving a clue to the second?

:P

Can I tell you what the first one was? YES

Partially ficitious?

[Pj] Slightly made up? YES, and NO. Sorry.

Connected with emotions?

[Pj] Feeling emotional? YES.

Positive emotions, particularly?

Is the mineral water?

[Pj] Positivity? Can't answer this, sorry.
[Rosie] Dihydrogen oxide? NO

Does it begin with an E?

Does it begin with P?

[Pj] On E? NO
[Tuj] Can I have a P please Bob? NO.

Is the animal bit human?

[Irouléguy] Humane? YES!

A theory or something theoretical?

[Tuj] That's the theory. NO

Is the mineral an artefact?

A particular class of thing?

[Irouléguy] artifactual? NO
[Projoy]Classy? NO, it is a specific thing, although still abstract!

Is confused about "fictitious no, but fictional yesandno"

is it art?

Is it to do with empathy?

[ISP] I feel your pain.

Art? YES.
Empathy? NO.

Clarification. Sorry to confuse you, I've confused myself too. so...
Fictional? (ie 1. the class of literature comprising works of imaginative narration, esp. in prose form. 2. works of this class, as novels or short stories: detective fiction. 3. something feigned, invented, or imagined. 4. the act of feigning, inventing, or imagining. 5. an imaginary thing or event, postulated for the purposes of argument or explanation.) NO
Fictitious? Having looked at many definitions, NO to most but YES to "imaginatively produced or set forth".

Sorry to get in a twist, hope this helps a little. (The dictionary definitions are to help my easily overwhelmed mind, as I know you are all far more eloquent than me!)

A particular artwork? Tracy Emin's Bed?

[ISP] One in particular? YES
Dirty sheets? NO

A piece of visual art?

[Irouléguy] Seen? NO

Heard?

[Irouléguy] Noisy? YES! *much applause from audience*

Classical music

A brass band?

Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band?

Sixties pop?

[Projoy] Classical? YES
[Rosie] Shiny brass? NO
[CdM] Lonely hearts? NO
[IS,P] 60s? NO

The Anvil Chorus?

[Raak] Anvil Chorus? NO

Pre-19th century?

Written for voices (with or without instruments)?

[Raak] Pre 1800? NO
[Projoy] Choral? NO

Geman composer?

[UK] Bratwurst? NO

The Planets?

[Raak] Holst's Finest? NO.

Owt to do with Edvard Greig?

[UK] Grieg-y baby? NO.

For brass? Thinking Libery Bell

[IS,P] Shiny brass? Still NO

Bugger. Missed Rosie's post. Sorry.

Brass?
Only joking. Italian composer?

[IS,P] Pizza maker? NO.
Despite all these NOs you really are quite close. I'm here for another twenty minutes then am going to be examined, so will be back drunk later.

English?

Cool! I want one of those examinations that gets you drunk. Are you studying to be a sommelier?

[IS,P] Her Majesty's finest? NO
The getting drunk time is after the exam. I suspect that during it wouldn't go down too well.

French? Is the nationality of the composer going to help?

Gotcha. Isn't April a bit early for exams?

[IS,P] Frog's legs? YES! It may help a little, but isn't the holy grail.
Not uni exams. Postgrad medical exams. Bloody hard ones at that too. I'm taking anaesthetic exams.

Claude Achille Debussy, died nineteen eighteen?

Anaesthetic exams

Shurely all exams are anaesthetic.

[IS,P] Debussy? NO
Indeed all exams induce somnolence.

Ravel and his sodding Bolero?

[IS,P] Sodding bolero? NO. God I hate that piece. The only cool bit is the gong at the end, and its a long 20 minute wait till that features.

Dukas and his Sorcerer's Apprentice?

Dominating this simply because you've only got ten minutes. Well, that's my excuse.

[IS,P] Fansatia? NO

Well, have a good exam. I've run out of ideas.

La Cathédrale Engloutie?

[Raak] Isn't that Debussy?

Jean-Michel Jarre? Oxygene?

Tubular Bells?

[Raak] LOOL. You're taking the mickey, right? Mike Oldfield's not French.

A member of Les Six?

I'm under the infulence. Head spinning. Exam over.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Can't manage more HTML than that. Sorry.

Died in C20th?

Still alive? Was it a practical exam?

Carnival of the Animals, Vegetables, Minerals and Abstracts?

[Projoy] Died 20C? YES!
[IS,P] Still alive? NO, dead. Animal carnival, very very warm.

Danse Macabre?

Erik Satie?

Saint-Saëns?

Is all Ravel out, or just Bolero? Might I suggest Ravel's "N'allez pas au bois d'Ormonde"?

Sorry for my absence. I had to go to work twice which was quite a shock to the system. You're all exceedingly warm, and I hope someone gets it in the next hour as I'm off to Wales for Easter. Anyway, enough chat, onto the matter in hand...
[Projoy] deatly dancing? NO
[Irouléguy] Eric the hungry catapiller NO.
[gil] The fantastic Camille Saint-Saëns? YES!!! But there's something else on the card.... Think BIG!
[StormWraith] Revels, anyone? Ravel is totally out.

Third Symphony, with its big throbbing organ?

[Projoy] Big organ goodness? YES!!! The exact words on the card are far more polite, briefly stating Saint-Saëns' Third symphony ("organ concerto"). Well done. *hands an organ pipe shaped baton back to Projoy*

Phew. Well, I don't expect this to take off as everyone's going to be disappearing off for the long weekend, but here's a VEGETABLE.

Is it alive?

[GL] It lives?! NO

edible?

Wooden?

[INJ] Eat Me! YES *applause*
[Rosie] Tree-born? NO

Exotic?

Typically eaten raw?

[Rosie] Exotic? NO *one or two audience members begin to applaud as you begin to talk but quickly stop themselves*
[CdM]Raw? NO (with some potential for quibbling).

Does it grow on trees?

Taking "not tree-born" above to mean not wooden.

[Rosie] Grows on trees? NO is by far the best answer. There's a defensible YES answer, tho.

Is it usually dried?

[Raak] Dried? NO

Edible part leafy?

[Rosie] It's all edible. No leaves involved. :)

A tomato?

[Rosie] Tomato? NO

Does it grow on a bush?

[Raak] George W? NO

Does it grow 'beneath' the soil?

A fungus?

Can I find it in Tesco?

[Chalky] Comes out of the ground? NO *some laughter from audience*
[Raak] Fungus? NO (ISTR a debate a while back about whether to count fungi as Vegetable. I'm in the "no" camp on that one, fwiw. :))
[ISP] Tescabile? YES!

Does it come in a variety of colours?

[Raak] Variety of colors? YES, as in, more than one.

Honey?

[Raak] Is there honey still for tea? NO

Is it solid?

...by which I mean rigid, pickuppable, even if it has voids within

[Raak] Solid? YES, in the sense you give.

Cabbage?

The most disgusting taste known to mankind.

[Rosie] Eat yer greens? NO

Normally eaten on its own?

[Ig] A solo dish? YES

Strong flavour?

[Lib] Strong flavour? This is subjective, but I would be inclined to say NO, on balance.

Is it primarily grain?

[Raak] With the grain? NO

Is it usually processed before being eaten (other than simply cooking)?

Does it feature in Peanuts round about this time of year?

Does it come in a bunch?

[Phil] Processed? YES! *applause*
[ISP] I don't read Peanuts, so I'm NOT SURE, but it wouldn't surprise me if that were so.
[Lib] Bunch? NO

From the genus Cucurbita?

[Ig] Cucurbita? NO

Dates?

[Rosie] Genus Calenda? NO

Easter eggs?

[Raak] Hoorah! YES!, the answer is "Easter Egg" (meaning the chocolate variety. I didn't include ANIMAL (milk) as I believe you can get dark chocolate eggs. *hands over bulbous, brown, slighly sticky baton to Raak*

The next one is M I N E R A L.

Stonehenge?

Diamond?

Solid?

Metal?

[Tuj] Not Stonehenge
[Lib] Not diamond.
[Projoy] Pickuppable, yes.
[Rosie] Primarily metal.

Art?

Peanuts

[Projoy] I was referring to the Great Pumpkin, and on reflection I'm not sure it's this time of year - I've a niggling voice in my head that suggests halloween.

[ISP] Not art.

Smaller than a toaster?

[Projoy] Smaller than a toaster.

Bigger than a matchbox?

A manufactured object?

Projoy - Bigger than a matchbox.
ImNotJohn - A manufactured object.

Matchboxes

Actually, it could be smaller than a matchbox, but not usually.

A child's toy?

A tool of some kind?

[ISP] Not a toy.
[Rosie] One would not ordinarily call it a tool.

A container?

A device?

[ISP] Not a container.
[ISP] YES! A device.

electronic?

[Projoy] Can be electronic.

Does it measure something?

Communication device?

[ISP] Yes, it measures something.
[Lib] Not a communication device.

A tape measure?

Weighing?

[Projoy] Not a tape measure.
[Lib] Does not weigh anything. Er, if you see what I mean.

Measures something invisible?

[Projoy] *applause* Yes, it measures something invisible.

Are most instances of it electronic these days?

A carbon monoxide detector?

[Projoy] Yes, usually electronic.
[Rosie] Not a carbon monoxide detector.

Measuring distances?

Measures some sort of radiation?

[I1] Not distances.
[I2] Not radiation.

Multimeter? Electricity meter?

A barometer?

[gil] Does not measure volts, amps, ohms, continuity, capacitance, impedance, hFE, diode leakage, or anything else electrical.
[Projoy] Not a barometer.

Used indoors?

Anemometer?

[ISP] Used indoors.
[Projoy] Not an anemonomometer.

Am I likely to own one?

Does it measure time?

A stopwatch?

[I] Quite likely to own one.
[P] *cheering* Yes, it measures time.
[P] Not a stopwatch.

An alarm clock?

[INJ] BRRRRRNNNNGGGG! It is indeed an alarm clock.

*applauds* That was a good one.

Ooooh

OK - I'm going out this evening, so you've got about half an hour and then a gap of 14 hours. This one is basically Mineral with Animal connections

Is it art?

Is it science?

[IS,P] Yes, but is it art? - NO
[Chalky] Science - NO (except in extremely broad uses of the term)

Is it found in the home?

[IS,P] domestic? - NO

Constructed?

[IS,P] constructed - YES

a zoo?

A single, specific object?

[IS,P] - zoo - NO
[PJ] one is one and all alone? - NO (they may not be legion, but there is more than one)

A building of some sort?

[IS,P] building - NO

A Henge?

Stonehenge, Brasshenge, Bakelitehenge etc.

[Rosie] hengist? - NO

Bigger than a phone box?

[Projoy] > phone box - YES

Bigger than a terraced house?

Something made largely of chalk?

[Projoy] 2 up 2 down - NO
[IS,P] Chalky - NO

Is it functional?

Is it specific to a particular country or culture?

Bigger than a shed?

Old, i.e. >500 yrs?

[IS,P] functional? - YES
[Irg] cultural specificity - Hmmm. YESish (but that's probably not going to help much)
[Projoy] > shed - YES
[Rosie] Old? - NO

Is it in a specific location?

Is there only one of it?

Generally lives outside?

Mostly metallic?

Too nice a day to be inside

[IS,P] In specific location - NO
[IS,P] Only one? - NO (see previous answer)
[Projoy] in the open air? - YES (some applause)
[Rosie] Mostly metallic? - YES (the 'basically mineral' description means that there will be some vegetable and animal, but not significant amounts)

Found in densely populated places or in the country?

A Henry Moore sculpture?

[Projoy] dense people - could be either, I've seen one in a densely populated area
[Raak] lots of brass - NO

Anything to do with transport?

[Raak] Transport? - YES (Applause)

A preserved steam engine?

A traction engine?

[Rosie] steam engine - NO
[Projoy] in traction? - NO

Essentially mobile?

For transporting people?

A milk float?

[Rosie] essentially Mobile - YES
[Irg] For transporting people? - YES
[Projoy] Erniemobile - NO

Does it carry just a single person?

Some sort of lorry?

[Raak] just for one - NO
[Projoy] Lorry - NO

Bus?

Client site all day today - don't know how often I'll get on here

[Projoy] bus - NO

A particular make/model of car?

Connected with farming?

Airborne?

Do it got wheels?

A hot air balloon?

Does it run on rails?

Does it run on cables?

Does it carry its own fuel with it?

Sorry - no access today until now

[Irg] particular make/model of car? - NO
[Projoy] agricultural - NO
[Rosie] Airborne - NO (some laughter)
[Projoy] Wheeled? - YES
[Lib] Montgolfière? - NO
[UK] on rails - NO
[Raak] wiry? - NO
[UK] Does it carry its own fuel with it? - YES

Military?

[Raak] military? - originally YES, but now usually NO(more audience applause)

A jeep?

[Phil] Jeep? - NO (I thought that would be the next guess)

A Hummer?

DUKW?

Motorbike and sidecar?

Scratch that. doesn't fit the 'bigger than a shed' criterion

Mobile Canteen?

One of those VW camper vans with the concertina top?

We have a winner

[Uncle Korky] - Well done. A DUKW it is!
The other answers are therefore obvious. I'm disappointed that no-one examined the animal connection, nor did I ever manage to answer both land and water transport.

One slightly damp baton handed on.

*is a little embarrassed at having lurked to victory again*

Sorry about this delay, but I've got a job interview this morning, which I need to concentrate on. I'll post your new clue when it's all over (probably about lunchtime).

[UK] Good Luck! Keep focused and you'll shine. I had an interview (in Cardiff of all places) yesterday and it was actually quite fun. (I know I am a strange thing.) It was fun because the topic for the presentation I was asked to prepare was 'me', and as I'm sure you all know I have no problems talking about myself! GOOD LUCK!!!! Or, hope it went well, if you've already done it.

DUKW

I have a feeling that Connie Booth would have been found not guilty in Holy Grail - they'd never prove she weighed the same as a DUKW.

[Lib] Cheers, m'dear! It went pretty well, and should hear by the end of the week. [IS,P] Perhaps my guess was inspired by knowing England were going to face South Africa later that day...
Anyway - a new clue... let's say... animal.

Alive?

The England cricket team?

Livin' Thing? YES
All out? NO
After a bit of thinking, I'll tinker with the classification to say that it's animal with an abstract element.

One of it?

A job title?

Singular? YES *applause*
Jobsworth? NO

Fictional?

You're making it up? You could argue this either way, he says enigmatically...

Human?

Homo sapiens? YES *applause*

is it art?

Art? Not even in the broadest or most generous uses of the term!

Is it an avatar?

Is this person a charlatan?

Mrs Trellis?

Ever been alive?

Avatar? I had to check the definition on this one: the only explanation I found was an earthly incarnation of a divine personage, so the answer to this is NO. However, I suspect this may not be what you meant...
Charlatan? NO.
Trellis? NO *some applause*
Ever been alive? You could argue this either way, he says enigmatically...

The lovely Samantha?

The invisible woman? NO *similar level of applause as before*, as I can see how you're thinking...

Male?

Blokeish? YES *applause*

Humph?

Lyttleton? NO *diminishing applause* I think you're getting misled by earlier applause...

Archie Andrews?

An educated guess? NO

Is heard on the radio?

An actor playing a role?

Aged under 40?

Sven?

Borat?

Mycroft?

Avatar

I was thinking 'graphical representation in a game of a real person'

Wireless? NO
Actor? NO
Under 40? YES
The rippling one? NO
Borat? NO
Mr Holmes snr? NO
Avatar II? NO - but the audience senses that IS,P is poking around the right area, and responds with appropriate *applause*.

Is this person advertising something?

Back after these important messages? NO

Is it 'Uncle Korky' - is what I was trying, and failing, to get at.

We have a winner! The very words on the card are "Uncle Korky", so one morniversal baton is well and truly passed on!

[uk] However did you think of that one?

The next one is Mineral. In the immortal words of Ron Pickering "away you go"

Unique?

[Tuj] One is one and all alone and evermore shall be so? NO

Metallic?

Useful?

[Tuj] Metallic YES
[Projoy] Useful? NOT AS SUCH

Bigger than a toaster?

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