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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Raak] Fictional? No
Quendalon] Is the "animal" human? Yes
Is this some class of people?
Connected with emotion?
Anarcho-syndicalism?
One day I'm going to be right
A lion's share?
Raak] Is this some class of people? No
Darren] Connected with emotion? Connected with, no; provoking, possibly...
ImNotJohn] Anarcho-syndicalism? There's a great day a-comin' - but not today
irach] A lion's share? See the answer to Quendalon
An event?
Is there more than one of it?
(Incidentally, feel free to answer "meaningless" to that if such an answer would be.)
Is the "animal" a specific human?
Does this involve an association of people?
Is it an office that a person can hold?
Inkspot] An event? *applause YES
Darren] Is there more than one of it? Yes, though there can only be one at a time.
Quendalon] Is the "animal" a specific human? Yes, but not necessarily the same one.
Rosie] Does this involve an association of people? *more applause* An association of people is a necessary but not sufficent condition for this.
Raak] Is it an office that a person can hold? *some quickly stifled giggles* No.
A ceremonial event?
A sporting event?
Is it connected to a date on the calender?
Is it an event with which people are generally pleased to be associated?
Raak] A ceremonial event? No
Chalky] A sporting event? No
Inkspot] Is it connected to a date on the calender? No
Darren] Is it an event with which people are generally pleased to be associated? Yes
Does it involve some common interest of the participants?
Raak] Does it involve some common interest of the participants? Sorry, I simmed. I'm going to answer 'no', as that's the most useful answer, I think.
A party?
Rosie] A party? No (neither sense)
Is it planned in advance?
A birth?
A birthday?
Darren] Is it planned in advance? Er...yes and no
ImNotJohn] A birth? No
Quendalon - A birthday? No
Connected with employment?
Connected with money?
Quendalon] Connected with employment? No
Darren] Connected with money? No
A school reunion?
Raak] A school reunion? No
Is it astronomical?
Inkspot] Is it astronomical? Startlingly, no
To do with the Internet?
Have most people experienced this at some point?
Raak] To do with the Internet? *applause* In practice, yes (though this could in theory happen offline as well).
Darren] Have most people experienced this at some point? No
A chatroom?
Associated with a particular website?
Rosie] A chatroom? No
Darren] Associated with a particular website? My experience of it is on one particular website, but I don't know if it originated there
Associated with a particular culture(s)?
To do with playing games on the Internet?
To do with MC websites?
A blind date?
Quendalon] Associated with a particular culture(s)? Broadly, yes
Raak - To do with playing games on the Internet? *applause YES
Darren - To do with MC websites? *louder applause, whistling and cheers* YES
Chalky - A blind date? No
mc5?
AVMA?
The game of Mornington Crescent?
I hope this doesn't blow a fuse, so to speak.
Raak - mc5? *stamping of feet, cries of 'bravo'* Yes
Darren] AVMA? *stunned silence from the audience, distracted by a replay of Paul Robinson's error on the giant screens above the stage* YES!
Rosie] The game of Mornington Crescent? *deflated sighs* No
The Morniverse?
Assuming that none of the preceding was the winning move.
Raak] The Morniverse? No.

Sorry, I was reading the preceding moves as prefaced by 'To do with...'. To clarify the over-enthusiastic audience response, the answer is to do with this site, specifically AVMA (it doesn't occur in any other current game on this site), though it almost certainly occurs on other websites, and could in theory occur in the realiverse.
An audience?
Raak] An audience? No
A correct guess?
Darren] A correct guess? *the audience holds its breath* Almost - the answer is a particular sort of correct guess.
A correct guess on the first move?
The answer to this question?
In danger of disappearing up its own logical fundament.
Darren - A correct guess on the first move? *older members of the audience are turning purple waiting to exhale* No
ImnotJohn - The answer to this question? It could be
An accidental correct guess?
Darren - An accidental correct guess? It could be
Hint - the initials have another, very different, meaning elsewhere in the Morniverse.
The winning move?
Rosie - The winning move? Yes, but... Not every winning move is one of these.
A lurker's victory?
*the audience exhales noisily, too breathless to cheer* YES - a lurker's victory it is (it seemed like a good idea when I set it). Darren, the baton's all yours.
This particular round is...
MINERAL
Begins with P?
[Irouléguy] Nice one. I did consider setting "the next answer" when I actually got a go, but chickened out ;)
[Tuj] Begins with P? One of the words does.
Is there just one of these?
[Raak] Just one of these? No.
Are there 2 words on the card?
[Tuj] Two words on the card? Indeed.
Does it occur in nature?
[Quendalon] Does it occur in nature? No.
Does it involve electricity?
Does it have any moving parts?
Is the mineral metal?
A frisbee?
Is it a man made mass produced item?
[Rosie] Does it involve electricity? Yes.
[Quendalon] Does it have any moving parts? Yes. (misleading?)
[ImNotJohn] Is the mineral metal? Not entirely.
[Irouléguy] No.
[Inkspot] Is it a man made mass produced item? Yes.
is the non-metal part a liquid?
[ImNotJohn] Is the non-metal part a liquid? No.
A buzzer?
Is the first of the words on the card "A"?
A pylon?
[Rosie] Buzzer? No.
[Raak] Is the first of the words "A"? No.
[Projoy] Pylon? No.
Is entertainment its primary purpose?
[Quendalon] Primary purpose=entertainment? No.
Is it connected with writing?
[Raak] Connected with writing? No.
Is it connected with travel?
Was it invented in the last hundred years?
[Quendalon] Is it connected with travel? Yes!
[Tuj] Was it invented in the last hundred years? Yes!
Parking meter?
[Quendalon] Parking meter? No.
To do with flying?
[Raak] To do with flying? No.
Does one take this on one's travels?
Is it a component of a larger object?
Was it invented before 1960?
To do with computers?
[Rosie] Does one take this on one's travels? Certain travels, yes.
[Quendalon] Is it a component of a larger object? No.
[Inkspot]Was it invented before 1960? No.
[Tuj] To do with computers? Well... yes, but, in a more meaningful sense, no.
Mobile phone?
[Irouléguy] Mobile phone? No.
Invented in the last decade?
[Tuj] Invented in the last decade? Probably not. (Sorry to be imprecise on that one, but although they've only become common recently I wouldn't be surprised if they'd existed in, say, the 1980s.)
Is it a container?
[Inkspot] Is it a container? No.
Is one of the words "portable"?
[Quendalon] Is one of the words "portable"? No.
Is the purpose of this device entertainment?
GPS Navigation system?
Does it involve superconductivity?
[Rosie] Purpose=entertainment? No. (See Quendalon's question earlier.)
[irach] GPS? No.
[Quendalon] Does it involve superconductivity? No.
An electronic device?
[Raak] Electronic device? Yes.
A digital camera?
A data projector?
[Rosie] Digital camera? No.
[Raak] Data projector? No.
A communication device?
Is it a conduit of some sort?
One of those fancy car keys?
Sorry about the imprecision - I drive a banger.
Is it required for travelling abroad?
A mobile phone?
[Raak] A communication device? No.
[Quendalon] A conduit of some sort? No. (Well, unless you meant in a very abstracted sense!)
[Rosie] Fancy car keys? No.
[Inkspot] Required for travelling abroad? No.
[Tuj] Mobile phone? No. (See Irouléguy's question earlier.)
Connected with road travel specifically?
[INJ] Connected with road travel specifically? No.
Is it something a traverrler would carry?
Biometric Passport?
A credit card?
[Inkspot] Is it something a traverrler would carry? Depends what a "traverrler" is.
[ImNotJohn] Biometric Passport? No.
[Rosie] Credit card? No.
Is it connected to hygiene?
Packing bags till the next game.
A "traverrler" is someone that ends up at the wrong destination.
[Quendalon] Is it connected to hygiene? No.
[Inkspot] I wasn't trying to be pedantic - I thought it might be a word I didn't know.
Is it connected to vehicles?
[Quendalon] Is it connected to vehicles? Definitely not.
A clock of some sort?
Connected with computer software?
[Raak] A clock of some sort? Part of it is, usually.
[Quendalon] Connected with computer software? Only in the sense that it contains some.
Time for a recap, methinks.
What we know so far:

It contains two words. One begins with P. Neither word is simply "a," or "portable."

It's a man-made mass produced electronic device, and there is more than one of it. It does not occur in nature. It has parts which move. Its construction involves metal (among other things), but no liquids. It is not a component of a larger object. It does not involve superconductivity. It was invented (as a whole item) some time after 1980, although the basic principles it uses were known long before that (that's a new hint). It usually includes a clock of some sort, and would contain a computer program within it.

It is not primarily for entertainment, nor is it connected with writing. It's nothing to do with hygiene.

It is connected with travel, but not flying or vehicles. You would take it on certain travels. It is not required for travelling abroad, nor is it specific to road travel.

It is not a frisbee, a buzzer, a pylon, a parking meter, a mobile phone, a container, a GPS navigation system, a digital camera, a data projector, a conduit, fancy car keys, a biometric passport, or a credit card.

Does the "P" stand for "personal"?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
A pedometer?
[Rosie] "P" stands for "personal"? No.
[Rosie] Smaller than a toaster? Yes.
[Raak] A pedometer? Yes!!!! (But that's not all. You've only got one of the words on the card. I'm looking for a pedometer with an extra feature.)
The second answer there was directed at Projoy, not Rosie. Sorry.
A digital pedometer?
A pedometer mounted in a shoe?
[Raak 1] Digital pedometer? Well, it is, but that's not the special feature I'm after.
[Raak 2] Mounted in a shoe? No.
A talking pedometer?
[Raak] Talking pedometer? YES!!!
So, it's over to Raak for the next round!
I never knew there were such things.

The next is MINERAL or VEGETABLE, with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it mass-produced?
A stairway to heaven?
Begins with P?
[Q] Mass-produced? No.
[I] Not a stairway to heaven.
[T] Does not begin with P.
Min or Veg = metal or wood?
Associated with a particular country or culture?
[R] Not metal/wood.
[C] Not associated with a particular country or culture.
Is it a liquid?
Is the mineral water?
[I, I] Not liquid, not water.
Does it have religious significance?
Does it have religious significance?
(Sorry, putting it in the right hole.)
[D] No religious significance.
(Ignore the fundamentalist crank in the audience raving to the contrary.)
Is it an item of clothing?
[C] Not clothing.
Is it an implement of some kind?
[K] Not an implement.
Any moving parts?
[I] No moving parts.
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
[Q] Not bigger than a breadbox.
Is it associated with a time of the year?
[I] Not associated with a time of the year.
Is it edible?
[C] Not edible.
Clarifying a previous answer re metal/wood: never any metal, possibly some wood.
Is the possible mineral stone?
[I] Not stone.
A gas/plasma?
We've eliminated metal, liquid, stone - what else is there.....
[I] Not gas or plasma.
There are plenty of other forms of mineral.
Does this occur naturally?
[I] Does not occur naturally.
ship in a bottle?
[j] Not a ship in a bottle.

Ready for a clue yet?

Plastic?
[R] Yes!
Is there only one of these?
(I assume mineral/vegetable because plastic can be made from either of these)
[I] There are many.
Actually, I was thinking of plastics as made primarily from petrochemicals (i.e. mineral), although having checked I see that vegetable substances are still used..
Is it flexible?
Odd that it's plastic but is not mass produced...
[Q] It is flexible.
A credit or debit card?
Is it connected to the arts?
[R] (hopeful murmurs in the audience) Not a credit or debit card.
[Q] Not connected to the arts.
Is it essentially flat?
i.e. 2 of the dimensions are several times greater than the third.
[I] It is flat.
Used in a game?
[I] Not used in a game.
A loyalty card?
A mouse mat?
A driver's license?
[C] (more interested murmurs from the audience) Not a loyalty card, or a driver's licence.
[I] (stony stares) Not a mouse mat.
Is it a card one would need to sign?
Is it used for identification?
Is it decorative?
[C] It might be.
[I] (singing and dancing breaks out) YES.
[INJ] No.
An identity card?
Always go for the obvious, I say.
[P] Papers please? YES. An identity card.
OK, a fairly straightforward one: ANIMAL
Mammal?
human?
Hmmm. An interesting answer to the mass-produced? question.
Here's another thought - when does vegetable become mineral if we talk about say peat, lignite, coal?
[INJ] An ID card may be produced in large numbers, but by definition it cannot be mass-produced. I'd classify peat as vegetable, lignite and coal as mineral. A seashel is mineral with animal connections.
Alive?
[Q] Mammal - YES
[INJ] Human - YES
[Raak] Alive - N/A
[Raak] Actually, I'll very slightly shift the answer as otherwise the category is wrong (i.e. it would be ABSTRACT too), so I would now answer YES.
A head of state?
Some kind of job title?
[Queen, er, Quen] Head of state - NO
[Toozh] Job title - NO
[Tuj] Oh, and just to save time, it doesn't begin with a P.
The man on the Clapham omnibus?
A particular individual?
male?
[Raak] I possess several mass-produced identity cards.
Connected to religion?
[Rosie] Claphambusman - NO
[Ig] An individual - NO
[INJ] Male? Hmmm, a not very convinced YES
[Ink] Religious connection - NO
Fictional?
A generic description?
[Ig] Fictional - NO
[Rosie] Generic - NO
Begins with R?
[Projoy] Your free information gives me a bonus question!
[Tuj] Begins with R - NO :)
A particular group of individuals?
[Tuj] Group of individuals - NO
Sperm?
[Quen] Spermatozoa - NO
MC related?
[Tuj] MC related - NO, not really
A body part or parts?
[Ig] body part - YES *applause*
The brain (going by the earlier "not very convinced YES")?
A body part of a specific person?
My Left Foot?
[Ink] Brain - NO
[Raak] specific person - YES
[INJ] Your left foot - NO
Is this a proverbially useless thing?
A transplanted organ?
[Raak] not at all proverbial, although arguably somewhat useless
[Inkspot] transplanted organ - NO
A limb?
[Ig] A limb - NO
Does the arguable uselessness stem from the incompetence with which the specific individual uses this body part?
[Rosie] Does the arguable... NO
A vestigial organ?
Is the organ's owner British?
Appendix?
[Raak] vestigial organ - NO
[Ig] British owner - YES
[ir] Coda - NO
A public figure?
[Raak] public figure - NO
My arse?
My Arse my arse.
Someone's arse?
Foucault's Pendulum?
*snigger*
Is the first word on the card a pronoun?
[Rosie/Ig] Nobody's arse
[Kim] Big, swinging dangly thing - NO
[Tuj] Pronoun appears in the answer? NO
*hint - I only made it belong to someone in particular to stop it having to be classified as abstract*
Somebody's bald patch?
Is it in/on the upper half of the body?
Is it connected to one of the senses?
Is it an implant of some kind?
[Raak] Bald patch - NO
[Ig] Upper half - YES (yay, deductive questioning!)
[Ink] connected to a sense - well, YES, but not in the way I suspect you mean. It's not a sense organ.
[Chalky] Implant - NO
Is it above the collar bone?
Would it be normally visible, if one were in this person's presence and not on intimate terms with them?
Could it be removed without doing permanent harm?
Does this person have a particular connection to you?
Is it smaller than an egg cup?
Are you the person who is attached to this body part?
[Ink] Above collar bone - NO
[Raak] visible - NO
[INJ] Could it be removed without permanent harm - depends a bit on your definition of harm, but essentially YES
[Ig] A connection to me? YES
[Chalky] Smaller than an egg cup - NO
[Chalky again] Am I attached? YES *applause*
Your spleen?
[Raak] My spleen - NO *collective intake of breath
Your tonsils?
[Ig] Tonsils - NO (as a matter of fact, I parted company with those some 26 years ago).
Is the answer an idiomatic phrase?
Gallbladder?
[Rosie] Not idiomatic
[irach] Projoy's Gallbladder - YES! - I was originally going to just go with "the human gallbladder" but quickly realised that in terms of specific/generic questions that was going to be more trouble that it's worth. *hands the baton to irach*
Here we go again.... The next one is simply ANIMAL.
Human?
[Quendalon] Human? Yes.
Alive?
[Chalky] No, not alive. Dead as a doornail.
Male?
[INJ] Male? Yes.
Born in the last 500 years?
[Raak] No, born earlier than 500 year ago.
European?
[Inkspot] Yes, European.
Regal?
[Projoy] Surely "Projoy's gallbladder" begin's with a P? And it can't be "my gallbladder" as you said there was no pronoun on the card...
[Tuj]. Yes. Certainly of regal stature.
Charlemagne?
A royal?
[Tuj] I was using my real name on the card :P
British?
Was he ugly?
[Quendalon] Not Charlemagne.
[Irouleguy] Not a royal.
[Darren] No, not British.
[Chalky] Ugly? Not that I know of, or in historical depictions. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, anyway.
Nostradamus?
Begins with P?
[Projoy] :D perfect answer
...unless you're bluffing...
Middle Eastern?
[Chalky] Not Nostradamus.
[Tuj] No "P" beginnings.
[Rosie] Not Middle Eastern.
An author?
Famous for an invention/discovery?
born before 1000CE?
An artist?
[Raak] Not an author.
[Tuj} Not famous for an invention or discovery
[INJ] Born before 1000 CE? Yes.
[Inkspot] Not an artist.
A north european?
A religious leader?
[Inkspot] Not Northern European.
[Chalky] Not a religious leader.
Was he born after 43 AD?
Julius Caesar?
[Inkspot] No, born before 43AD.
[Rosie] Et tu, Rosie? You are correct!!! YES!!! Julius Caesar it is!
Heavens to Murgatroyd, I've won! *Lies down for a few minutes*

That's better. This is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections. Only very tangentially associated with steam engines, and then only a few types. Hope that narrows the field a bit.

Is the animal connection a bird?
Bravo.
Phoenix rising from the ashes?
Is the animal connection human?
(Tuj) - No bird connection
irach - Imaginative, but wrong, alas
(Projoy) Can be a human connection, but certainly not necessarily.
Perhaps we should forget about the very tangential association with the iron horse, which is not helpful, and which I'll explain at the end.
Connected with the arts?
(Quendalon) - Most definitely not connected with the arts.
An invention?
(Raak) - Not an invention.
Connected with mathematics?
(Projoy) - No connection with mathematics.
A human invention?
(Tuj) Not any kind of invention. See Raak's question.
A process?
A group of animals?
(Quendalon) - Not really, but a process, in the broad sense, is involved.
(Irouléguy) - Not a group of animals.
Connected with movement?
Begins with P?
[Rosie] Sorry for wasting your time with that. I'll learn to read.
(Quendalon) - Not connected with movement. *audience bursts into laughter*
Something to do with death?
Sleep?
(Raak) - Nothing to do with death.
(Quendalon) - Not sleep.
Is this fictional?
(Irg) - Not fictional.
A turn of phrase?
Was my last qeustion so predictable as to be ignored?
Is the animal connected to a particular part of tthe world?
(Tuj) Sorry - all I saw was your apology, now it's my turn. Does not begin with P.
(Inkspot) - No regional connection.
(Tuj) - Not a turn of phrase.
A human construct?
Is the animal connection a human?
[Rosie] I think I should stop bothering you - I'm jst confusing you and the answer to my question's always no :P
(CdM) - No, not a human construct.
(Tuj) - This question, too, was asked early on by Projoy.
Connected with biology?
(Quendalon) - Yes, biology is involved.
Is the non-human animal a particular animal?
Connected with the absence of movement?
(Irg) - No, not a particular animal.
(Raak) - Yes, connected with absence of movement. *applause, and some smiles, from the audience*
An action taken by an animal?
Dreams?
Does the animal connection refer to a specific attribute or behaviour of the animal?
(Qunedalon) - No, not an action.
(Raak) - Not dreams.
(irach) - No, not an attitude or behaviour on the part of the animal.
Connected with food?
(Quendalon) - Connected with food? Yes.
A pig that wants to be eaten?
A diet?
Ruminating?
Bringing home the bacon?
(Quendalon) - Not a diet.
(Irg) - Not ruminating, but the closest yet.
(irach) - Not bringing home the bacon.
Digestion?
*ahem*
Farting?
(Quendalon) - Not digestion.
(Raak) - Not "ahem" if I read you right.
(irach) - Not farting.
Constipation?
CONSTIPATION! Irouléguy has it! (The answer, I mean). Well done. The Lactulose is handed over to YOU.
Thanks, Rosie. WOO-HOO! On the throne again, so to speak. Our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT again, but no connection with the previous answer (well, almost no connection…)
Is the animal connection human?
Quendalon] Is the animal connection human? Yes

Rosie] What was the steam engine connection?
A single animal?
I gave up on asking Rosie questions, I wasn't very good at it... Sorry Rosie.
A specific named human?
Tuj] A single animal? No
irach] A specific named human? *applause* Yes and no
Fictional?
An expression?
A society of some sort?
Is the human alive today?
(Irouléguy) I'd just been re-reading an autobiography of an outstanding engineer who described a very numerous and apparently popular class of engine has having a "thoroughly constipated front end" (sic), i.e. the exhaust passages were too long and tortuous and much energy was absorbed in just getting rid of the used steam. I'd always thought these locos were crap and I only found out near the end of the steam era, when this book was published, that this was true. Not much relevance to AVMA, as you can see.
Tuj] Fictional? No
Quendalon] An expression? Gordon Bennett! No
Chalky] A society of some sort? *murmuring among the audience* No is the most useful answer
Rosie] Is the human alive today? No and yes (to be read in conjunction with the answer to irach's question).
'crap locos' - well, I got to 'farting', by thinking of the Puffing Billy, so there is a sort of connection.
A role that is filled, at any given moment, by a specific named human?
Connected with religion?
CdM] A role that is filled, at any given moment, by a specific named human? No
Inkspot] Connected with religion? *some giggling in the audience No
A group of people with something in common?
Chalky] A group of people with something in common? *applause YES
Is the group of people composed of both sexes?
Connected to sport?
Do these people engage in some rather dubious activity?
Are these people related by blood?
irach] Is the group of people composed of both sexes? Ye-es, though almost all male
Inkspot] Connected to sport? No
Rosie] Do these people engage in some rather dubious activity? *giggling from sections of the audience* Depends on your definition... No is the more useful answer.
Quendalon] Are these people related by blood? No
Connected with sexual activities?
Did it start in a particular country?
Does the common activity involve drinking?
Quendalon] Connected with sexual activities? *prolonged sniggering from a section of the audience* Activities, no.
Inkspot] Did it start in a particular country? Yes, though there's some dispute as to which country it was.
irach] Does the common activity involve drinking? It might do, but that's not the primary link.
Did it start before 1900?
Inkspot] Did it start before 1900? No
Connected with the military?
A charity organisation?
Quendalon] Connected with the military? No
Inkspot] A charity organisation?
Do they have a medical condition/syndrome in common?
Chalky] Do they have a medical condition/syndrome in common? No
Is this a commercial activity in any way?
Rosie] Is this a commercial activity in any way? Yes - some of the people who do this will get paid for it.
It is likely to involve a journey of some kind?
Is it connected to a time of year?
Kim] It is likely to involve a journey of some kind? Only a circular one ;-)
Inkspot] Is it connected to a time of year? No
Does it take its name from a specific human?
To do with the Arts?
Anuything to do with vehicles?
Quendalon] Does it take its name from a specific human? *some cheering* Yes
Inkspot] To do with the Arts? *more cheering* Yes
Tuj] Anything to do with vehicles? *dead silence* No
Associated with the musical arts?
An exhibition?
irach] Associated with the musical arts? Yes
Rosie] An exhibition? No
A male voice choir?
Chalky - A male voice choir? Dim
A rock band?
irach] A rock band? *some applause* No
The Billy Cotton Band?
Wakey-wakeeee.
(Irg) - re answer to Chalky; I think that should be Nag'dy ( = no, it isn't), if I read you right. Dim means "no" in the sense of "absence of", eg dim o arian, "no (of) money". Diwedd y wers. :-)
Rosie] Billy Cotton? No
Welsh lesson] Thanks - obviously I'm the dim one.
Some sort of popular beat combo, m'lud?
An orchestra?
Does the group still exist?
A Big Band/Dance Band?
(Irg) Well, I wouldn't say that. The problem is that there is no single word for either yes or no in Welsh. You either repeat or negate the verb. Diwedd yr ail wers. (Projoy) You must be older than you look. :-)
Did the group form before 1990?
Projoy] Some sort of popular beat combo, m'lud? No - see irach's earlier question
Botherer] An orchestra? Good to see you here! No
irach - Does the group still exist? It's not a group
Rosie] A Big Band/Dance Band? No. Thanks for the explanation. Interestingly Putonghua Chinese (Mandarin as it's often known) does much the same.
Inkspot - Did the group form before 1990? See earlier answers
Title of a piece of music?
Alexander;
Alexander'S Ragtime Band?
Inkspot] Title of a piece of music? No
irach - Alexander's Ragtime Band? No
Time for a summary? The answer is a group of people with something in common, mostly male. The 'something in common' has connection with rock music, and takes its name from a specific human, but it's not a group. Questions about this involving religion, sexual activities, and being dubious have all drawn giggles or sniggers from the audience. It's not a relationship by blood, or connected with the military (though there was a connection once - sorry, should have noted that earlier), or a charity organisation. It's sometimes done for money, and it may well involve drinking. There's no connection with a particular time of year, and only a jokey connection with journeys.
Writing all that out makes me think that it's glaringly obvious, but perhaps I shouldn't be cruel ;)
Elvis impersonators?
Rosie - Elvis impersonators? YES! So as Rosie was the question-setter before me, the baton is returned to sender.
(Irouléguy) - Actually it was the Lactulose I handed you and you are gracious enough not to hand it back, though I hope you haven't drunk it. I'm told it's rather persuasive.
Right, this one is ABSTRACT, and absolutely nothing to do with steam locos.
Can it be proven by science?
Sorry Rosie if the question is a bit broad, but what I mean is something like magetism or a black hole.
Is there a human element to it?
(Inkspot) - It probably could, but the answer to your question as you intend it is NO.
(irach) - Human element? YES.
Is there a mathematical element to it?
A philosophical idea?
(Quendalon) - No mathematical element.
(Raak) - Not a philospohical idea.
Connected to the brain?
An arrangement of concrete things?
(CdM) - Not connected to the brain.
(Raak) - Not an arrangement of concrete things. You mean physical, I assume.
Is it unique?
(Rosie) So there's a human element, but no Animal connection?
(Quendalon) - Hmm, difficult. Let's say each one is. But that's not very helpful. It needs humans for this abstract thing to manifest itself, so there is an Animal connection, an omission on my part.
Begins with a P?
Sin?
Rosie] Thanks :)
An activity?
(Tuj) - Does not begin with a P.
(Irouléguy) - Nice thought, but not sin. What would I know about that?
(Raak) - Not an activity.
Connected with the body?
Is it connected with the arts?
(Quendalon) - Not connected with the body.
(Kim) - Connected with the arts? It can be on occasions.
Connected with emotion?
Anything to do with the weather?
(Quendalon) - NO! Er, sorry, no connection with emotion.
(Chalky) - Nothing to do with weather.
Is the arts connection (when it arises) limited to one branch of the arts?
Connected with the occult?
(Kim) One or two branches of the arts at most. The connection is not a vital part of this, but occurs.
(Chalky) - Not connected with the occult.
Connected with sound?
(Quendalon) - Connected with sound? - Yes
Is the sound musical?
(irach) - Sometimes can be but not essentially.
Is it to do with the quality of sound?
Connected with the human voice?
To do with poetry?
(Inkspot) - Quality of sound? Yes, interpreting "quality" fairly broadly.
(Quendalon) - Yes, connected with the human voice. *considerable applause*
(irach) - Nothing to do with poetry.
An accent?
A glo'al stop?
Shouting?
(Raak) - Yes, an accent. *wild cheering from audience, who think it's all over, but it's not, quite.*
(Irouléguy) - No' a glo''al stop.
(Inkspot) - Not shouting.
A Welsh accent?
Received Pronunciation?
A Dixie Southern drawl?
(Raak) - Daw' be daft, mun.
(Inkspot) - Not RP.
(irach) - Dixie? - Nope.

The answer is A something Accent.

A French accent?
A grave accent?
An accent from the British Isles?
(irach) - Not a French accent.
(INJ) - Imaginative, but gravely in error.
(Projoy) - A British accent? - Could be, certainly.
A foreign accent?
[irach] Relative to where? :P
A posh accent?
Is the accent from a particular city?
(irach) - It could be, to a good ear.
(Irouléguy) - Good heavens no, dear boy.
(Inkspot) - Not from a particular city.
A northern accent?
"Lots of planets have a North" (Christopher Eccelstone as Dr Who)
(Inkspot) No, but a northern accent is an example of this.
Specifically an accent of the English language?
(Quendalon) - No, not specifically English.

Could I nudge people gently away from the particular.

A nasal accent?
A local accent?
A regional accent?
A fake accent?
(Projoy) - Might be.
(Raak) - Not fake.
(Chalky) Not local, but so close, since KIM has it! Well done. Your go.
Ee, bah gum, etc, etc.
Jolly dee. OK, this one is MINERAL.
Precious?
Man made?
[Raak] No.
[Inkspot] No.
A specific individual object?
[Raak] Yes.
WARNING: even yes/no answers can potentially be misleading.
Could you lift it?
Simply to rule out an anarcho-syndicalist-driven steam locomotive.
Is it a place?
Is it on Earth?
Bigger than a telephone box?
[Inkspot] Difficult. On balance I would have to say...No.*some murmurs of interest from the audience*
[Irouléguy] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.
Is it a geographical feature?
Is it a geological feature?
Has it been in existence for at least the last two centuries?
A single specific object in the generic sense (in the same way as, say, "a stone")?
[Irouleguy] Yes.
[Quendalon] Yes.
[Chalky] No.
[Projoy] No.
A mountain range?
Is the mineral some form of water?
Made of sand?
[Inkspot] No.
[Raak] No.
[Projoy] No.
A geographic/geological feature at one specific terrestrial location?
Connected with volcanic activity?
[Irach] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.
*The audience senses a build up of momentum (or pressure?).*
Surtsey?
In the Northern Hemisphere?
Paricutin?
A fault line?
Krakatoa?
[Rosie] No.
[Quendalon] No.
[irach] No.
[Inkspot] No.
and
[Irouléguy] No.
In africa?
Is the answer the name of a volcano?
[Inkspot] No.
[Raak] No.
In Asia?
The lake of mud in eastern Java?
Which doesn't appear to have a name, according to the BBC.
a tectonic plate?
[Inkspot] No.
[Irouléguy] No. *audience gets quite interested*
[Projoy] No.
Is it solid?
Krakatoa?
In Austrailia?
[Quendalon] Yes.
[Rosie] I refer the Hon. Gntlmn to the answer I gave Irouléguy a few moves ago.
[Inkspot] Not in Austrailia (sic)
An island?
Hang me for a typo: guilty as charged
Is it the product of a volcanic eruption?
[Quendalon] Yes.
[Irouléguy] Yes.
The new island that emerged this year in Tonga between Kao and Late?
Bugger - simmed
Excellent set-piece work by Quendalon and Irouléguy, but Raak gets in at the near post and nods it in. The answer is indeed the new island that has appeared in the South Pacific recently. Well done, Raak, better luck next time to Irouleguy and Quendalon.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2006/11/14/asia/AS_GEN_Tonga_New_Island.php by the way.
So they are still making real estate!

The next is ABSTRACT, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.

Begins with a P?
[Tuj] One day, an answer will begin with a P. That day is not yet.
Sweating aubergines?
Anarcho-syndicalist vegetable stir-fry?
One day, the answer will be Anarcho-syndicalist something-or-other.
[I] No. Er, is that a face pyjama?

[K] That day too is yet far off.

A painting?
[R] Not a painting.
Is it a character from a fictional work?
[K] Not a character from a fictional work.
Connected with the arts?
A figure of speech?
[Q] Not the arts.
[T] Not a figure of speech.
Is the vegetable wood?
[R] Face pyjama? No, just a cooking technique.
[I] Can be wood.
Man-made?
Does this have strong religious connections?
Is it unique?
[R] Man-made.
[D] No strong religious connection.
[Q] Not unique.
A geographical feature?
[C] Not a geographical feature.
A building?
Connected with the sciences?
[C] Not a building.
[K] Nothing to do with science.
(The audience is in a coma.)
Is it a generic name of a product?
eg Hoover
[I] Not a generic name.
Is it usually found in the home?
Is it a physical object?
[I] It can be found in the home.
[I] Yes, a physical object.
Anything to do with food or drink?
The Abstract nature of this object baffles me.
Anything to do with gardening?
Is this an object from a fictional work?
[Rosie] Not food or drink.
Hint: The V and M are what it is made of, the A is the abstract thing it embodies.
[I] Not gardening.
[C] (The audience opens one eye.) Not fictional.
Is this a kit of some sort, like an Airfix Model?
Is it a tool of some kind?
Connected with writing?
The hearth?
[C] Not a kit.
[R] Not a tool.
[Q} Yes! Writing has something to do with it!
[i] Not a hearth.
A document (paper and ink being the vegetable and mineral components)?
[i] Yes! A document. (The audience opens all their other eyes.)
A lease?
A contract?
Does it involve finance?
[i] Not a lease.
[CdM] Not a contract.
[R] Yes, it involves finance.
Is it a form of currency?
A will?
[Q] Not currency.
[R] YES! A last will and testament. Over to you.
(Raak) Mm, I s'pose I ought to make one. Well, it can wait because there are far more important things in life, like the next subject, which is ABSTRACT.
I still can't work our why A Will - which to me is a tangible object - should be classified as Abstract - but am happy to be corrected :-)
correction - our/out
[Chalky] I'm somewhat uncertain what should count as Abstract. What makes the thing a will is the non-physical meaning of what is written on it. On the other hand, a will generally is a single physical document, unlike, say, a book, which has an abstract existence apart from any of its individual copies.
(Raak, Chalky) I instinctively thought of a will as abstract because of its content. After all, it could be stored on a computer even if a physical document is a legal requirement. AHEM - there can be no such ambiguity about the present subject. AHEM.
Does it start with the letter P?
The Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation?
Chalky, Raak, Rosie] There's also the distinction between a specific person's will, and the idea of a last will and testament. I didn't find it misleading, which is what I think matters.
Connected with the arts?
(Quendalon) - Does not start with P.
(Irg) - A miss of some magnitude, I fear.
(Kim) - Not connected with the arts.
A single word on the card?
[Quendalon] Daft question :P
Is is a human construct?
Connected with mathematics?
(Tuj) - Two words, including the indefinite article.
(Kim) - Not a human construct.
(Quendalon) - Not connected with mathematics.
Is it something people do?
(Raak) - Not something people do.
Is it visible?
Is it something to do with the weather?
(Irg) - Not visible *laughter from audience*
(Kim) - Nothing to do with the weather.
Can it be heard?
(Inkspot) - Cannot be heard *further cruel sniggers from audience*
Can it be perceived by any of the senses?
Is it part of the electromagnetic spectrum?
Is it an absence of something?
(Kim) - Yes, it can be perceived.
(Inkspot) - Not part of the electromagnetic spectrum.
(Irouléguy) - Yes. *loud applause*
Space -- the final frontier?
A black hole?
(Quendalon) - Not space.
(Tuj) - Not a black hole.
Conspicuous by its absence?
Vacuum?
Related to living things?
irach has it because VACUUM it is! Strictly "A vacuum", but that's near enough. Well done, sir, and over to you.
This one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL Connections.
A document of some sort?
[Raak] Not a document.
Is it ritualised linguistic routine? (e.g., a metaphor, simile, cliche)
[rab] Yes. It is a type of cliched verbal expression.
Is the animal human?
Is there a number in it?
The Ashes?
[Inkspot] Yes. The animal component is most often human in this context. [Quendalon]. No. No number in it. [Rosie] Not the ashes.
Is the mineral an artefact?
Pissing in the wind?
A wild stab in the dark
People in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses?
Bull shit?
Is it a proverb?
[Irouleguy] No. Not an artifact
[rab] Not pissing, in the wind, or otherwise.
[Projoy] Not a wild stab in the dark.
[kim] Not stone houses or glasses
[Lib] No, not bull shit (or any other animal scat).
[Raak] No. Not a proverb.
Does the expression describe the human (or animal)?
[Rosie] It does not describe the entire human (or animal), but a part thereof.
Pull the other one?
Is the mineral a liquid?
To do with the face?
Is it complimentary?
[Irouleguy] No.
[Inkspot] The mineral is not liquid.
[Raak] No. Not the face.
[Rosie] Yes. It is complimentary.
Diamond Geezer?
Is the mineral metal?
[irach] A very deadpan "no, not the face" that.
[Tuj] Hurray!!!Yes, a metal! (a little less deadpan, I hope) ;)
[Lib] Not a Diamond Geezer.
An iron constitution?
A heart of gold?
Goldfinger?
[rab] Pretty much hijacked my line of thought there.
[irach] Fantastic emotional control and range, congrats.
A mind like a steel trap?
[Quendalon] No. No mind, no steel trap.
[Raak] Not an iron constitution.
[rab] You are correct! A heart ofgold it is! Over to you.
Wow...
Err, right. This one's MINERAL, with possible animal and vegetable connections.
Is it a place?
Man-made?
Metallic?
[Irroul] No.
[Rosie] Yes.
[Tuj] No.
Made from stone?
Not stone, no.
Portable?
Yes.
Made of plastic?
[Raak] *applause* - its plasticity is an integral part of its being, yes. (And I'm still wondering if plastic is vegetable, rather than mineral, but no matter now).
[rab] After being turned into oil over tens of millions of years, I'd file it as mineral, same as limestone.
The plastic rings around a six-pack of beer?
Is it a manufactured item for use in the home?
Is it for containing food or drink?
[Irroul] No.
[Inkspot] Manufactured yes, but I don't think its use is restricted to the home.
[Raak] *audience fidgets* Not containing, no.
You put food on top of it?
Plastic cutlery?
[Raak] *mild applause* but no.
[Irroul] Nope.
cling film?
Does its essential plasticity necessarily imply that it is essentially flexible?
Is it intended for human consumption?
[Inkspot, Quendalon] No
[Rosie] I suppose it could be flexible, but that's not an essential characteristic.
A drinking straw?
Is it a tool of some kind?
[Quendalon, Rosie] No.
Is it used for carrying things?
Is it an implement?
[Inkspot, Kim] No

I think we should look back to the last positive audience reaction.

Is it bigger than a breadbox?
No.
Has it always been made of plastic?
A toothpick?
Is it associated with a particular type of food?
Plastic chopstick?
[Inkspot] Tricky one. The type I'm thinking of is very much definitely made of plastic, but there are versions that perform a similar function that aren't.
[Rosie, irach] No.
[Irouléguy] YES!
Is it used during the preparation of the food?
Is it the outer coating on Edam cheese?
[Inkspot] To say "yes" would probably throw you completely off-scent; but I think that it's far to say that it might play a small part in the preparation of a particular type of food.
[Kim] No.
Is it associated with a particular country?
Is the food linked to a particular event or ceremony?
[Inkspot] No.
[Irouléguy] *applause* YES!
The plastic figures on the top of a wedding cake?
On my card it says A plastic bride and groom but I think CdM's close enough to get it.
Wow. I actually didn't expect that to be right, because of the "preparation" question. But I do see what you mean.

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
Animal human?
Animal connection = Human? Yes.
A trait or characteristic?
Trait? No.
Fictional?
Fictional? No.
A character of myth or legend?
Mythical or legendary? No.
Connected to science/technology?
Connected to science/technology? Yes.
Something named after someone?
Something named after someone? Yes *applause*
A unit of measurement?
Is it Bluetooth?
[UK] I suggest you get yourself to a dentist ASAP.
Is it to do with the internet?
Unit of measurement? No.
Bluetooth? No.
Internet-related? No.
A theory?
(As in an entire theoretical framework, rather than a result or phenomenon)
A theory? No.
Is it a constant?
two short Plancks?
A constant? No.
A phenomenon?
Schrödinger's cat?
Is it a sound?
The sound of one hand clapping?
Phenomenon? Hmmmm... my initial response was no, but I think it is fair to say yes, in a way.
S's cat? No ... and yes ... and no ... and yes .. and *checks*. NO.
A sound? No.
A zen sound? Not even.
Someone's Effect?
Astronomical?
Nash equilibrium?
Is it visible?
Someone's Effect? The word "effect" does not appear on the card, and I think the best answer is No.
Astronomical? No.
Nash Equilibrium? The best response is No.
Visible? *audience goes "oooooh"*. I think I have to say Yes and No. Either 'Yes" or 'No' could be justified as an answer, and by the same token either would be misleading.
A Schelling point?
Cerenkov radiation?
Schelling point? No. (the audience communicates by a subtle combination of laughter, applause and silence that, had this been the correct answer, they would have given some recognition to 'Nash equilibrium')
Cerenkov radiation? No.
A hologram?
Connected with economics?
Concerned with atomic particle physics?
A hologram? No.
Connected with economics? Isn't everything? But, otherwise, No.
Connected with particle physics? Isn't everything? But, otherwise, No.
Is it temprature dependant?
Anything to do with meteorology?
Was the eponymous person alive before the 20th century?
Now we are getting somewhere
Temperature dependent? Yes.
To do with meteorology? Yes. *applause*
Before 20th century? Yes.
To do with Torricelli, vacuum and barometry?
The Bergeron process?
The Doppler effect?
I think that is close enough for me to award a mercury-filled baton to irach, even though it was not posed as a guess. The answer on the card was "A Torricelli (or Torricellian) Vacuum".

The subject was prompted by the fact that I almost guessed "vacuum" for Rosie's recent AVMA about a day before it was correctly guessed (no, really, I did), but then rejected it on the grounds that Rosie had claimed no connection to the weather. :-) (That's not intended as a criticism, btw; on reflection I thought that Rosie's answer was probably right.)
Let me then step in to fill the void... The next one is simply ANIMAL
Human?
[Raak] Not human.
A dodo?
[CdM] No, not a dodo.
alive?
Vertebrate?
[Lib] By alive, if you mean non-extinct, yes.
[Kim} Yes. A vertebrate.
A species?
[Irouleguy] Yes, a species.
Mammal?
(CdM) Can't see why a vacuum is temperature dependent, which is why I went for the the rather obscure Bergeron process, which certainly is. Not to worry. :-)
[Rosie] Yes, a mammal.
Found (in the wild) on more than two continents?
[Rosie] Well, I was thinking about the fact that the density of the mercury (or whatever) is affected by temperature, and hence so is the size of a Toricelli vacuum. (I think. This is your area of expertise, not mine). I certainly agree that I should have at least indicated that the connection to temperature was minor.
Is it amphibian?
Tree-dwelling?
Water-dwelling?
Carnivorous?
Giraffe?
A long-necked meat-eating animal that lives in trees and water and swims?
Meerkats?
[Inkspot] Yes, it is semi-aquatic.
[rab] No, not arboreal.
[Kim] Not exclussively water-dwelling, see response to Inkspot.
[Raak] Not carnoivorous. Rather the contrary.
[Lib] Not a giraffe. A long way off.
[CdM] Not a long necked or meat eating animal that lives in trees. It does enter water and swim, though.
[Irouleguy] Not meerkats.
A hippopotamus?
A beaver?
[Raak] Not a hippopotamus.
[Kim] Not an eager (or disinterested) beaver.
Smaller than a telephone box?
[Raak] Yes, smaller than a telephone box.
Smaller than a bread bin?
[Lib] No. Bigger than a bread bin.
A primate?
[Rosie] Not a primate (Are there any semi-aquatic primates?)
[Rosie] Not a primate (Are there any semi-aquatic primates?)
Furry?
A mink?
A vole?
BTW, CdM' s "Found (in the wild) on more than two continents?" hasn't been answered.
A reptile?
[Raak] As a mammal it does have fur, but not particularly known for its furriness.
[rab] Not a mink
[Irouleguy] Not a vole.
[CdM] Found in th wild, but on only one continent.
[Kim] Not a reptile. It's already been established that it is a mammal.
Duck-billed platypus?
[CdM] Not a platypus.
Found in Africa?
Found in America?
[Inkspot] Not Africa.
[Kim] Not natively found wild in the USA, but yes, is found in one of the two Americas.
The capybara?
[Irouleguy] Yes, Capybara, it is! Over to you...
A win largely down to Wikipedia, in all honesty. Our next is MINERAL and VEGETABLE and contains ANIMAL.
Coal?
A mass produced manufactured item?
The Tardis?
Raak - Coal No. Surely coal is either mineral or vegetable - can it be both?
Inkspot - A mass produced manufactured item? Yes and no - not mass-produced
Kim - The Tardis? a ripple of applause No
A Dalek?
A Cyberman?
rab - A Dalek? No
Raak - A Cyberman? No
the applause unripples
I should add that there's also an abstract dimension to this.
Does it exist only in science fiction?
rab] Does it exist only in science fiction? No - there isn't a science fiction connection (or if there is, it's incredibly faint).
Can one live in it?
A telephone box?
Was the first one made before 1900?
Is there only one of it?
Is it a coat?
...or shall I get mine?
rab - Can one live in it? One could...but I don't think anyone does
Raak - A telephone box? No
Inkspot - Was the first one made before 1900? Yes
Rosie - Is there only one of it? No
Tolken - Is it a coat? No, and no, it was a perfectly clean question
A sauna?
Raak - A sauna? No
Is it a piece of street furniture?
rab - Is it a piece of street furniture? No
Is the vegetable ccomponent wood?
irach - Is the vegetable component wood? Yes
Is it larger than a transit van?
Is it an outdoor object?
(Chalky) A TRANSIT van?
Chalky - Is it larger than a transit van? Yes
Rosie - Is it an outdoor object? Yes
(What's wrong with Transit vans?)
Are they in fixed positions?
Inkspot - Are they in fixed positions? *another ripple of applause* No
A horse box?
Is the animal human?
Does it have wheels?
Raak - A horse box? No
Inkspot - Is the animal human? Yes
rab - Does it have wheels? *giggling from large sections of the audience* Yes, though in the past they used to have more.
Would you find it at a funfair?
Is is a mode of public transport?
Is it a vehicle?
A horse-drawn wagon?
Does it use electric power?
Raak - Would you find it at a funfair? No
rab - Is is a mode of public transport? *loud applause* YES
Projoy - Is it a vehicle? Yes
Rosie - A horse-drawn wagon? *giggles No
Inkspot - Does it use electric power? It does now, but it hasn't always done.
A tram?
A train?
rab - A tram? No
Raak - A train? No

Apologies - I'm out most of tomorrow and won't be at a keyboard until the evening. I hope no-one will harbour a grudge.
A lift?
An escalator?
An omnibus?
a charabang?
a charabanc?
It would appear that everyone not in my family calls it a Charabanc, so I'll try again!
Raak - A lift? No
Rosie - An escalator? No
rab - An omnibus? No
Lib - a charabang or charabanc? Or even a charabank - a coach you get on Bank Holidays. No
Does it use the roads?
Back to basics. :-(
A ferry?
(I'm pretty certain this is a water vehicle of some kind.)
A barge?
Rosie - Does it use the roads? No
CdM - A ferry? *waves of applause* YES! 'Ferry' is one of the four words on the card.
rab - A barge? No
A cross-channel ferry?
Ferry Across the Mersey?
CdM - A cross-channel ferry? La Trans-Manche? Non
rab - Ferry Across the Mersey? No
Hong Kong Star Ferry?
Isle of Man Ferry?
Lib - Hong Kong Star Ferry? No
CdM - Isle of Man Ferry? No, but the geographically closest so far.
Ferry to/from a Scottish Isle?
Projoy - Ferry to/from a Scottish Isle? No, and no closer.
Does it sail from Liverpool?
Isle of Wight Ferry?
Holyhead- Dublin sea ferry?
Pembroke to Rosslare ferry
rab - Does it sail from Liverpool? No
Lib - Holyhead- Dublin sea ferry? No
Inkspot - Pembroke to Rosslare ferry No

When I said CdM was 'closest', that was strictly comparative. 'Least distant' would have been more helpful. Lib is now the least distant.
Is at least one end of the journey in the UK?
Is at least one end on the North American continent?
Does it sail between two different countries?
Is it operated by a pulley system?
The Staten Island Ferry?
CdM goes overnight from 'least distant' to bullseye - the Staten Island Ferry it is! One Staten baton handed over.
ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, and MINERAL
Is the animal human?
Human? No.
Is the vegetable a liquid?
Is it edible?
Is there a seasonal connection?
Vegetable = liquid? Least misleading answer is yes, I think.
Edible? Yes. *ripple of applause*
Seasonal connection? None that I am aware of.
Some sort of soup?
Soup? No.
Is it associated with a particular country?
A specific meal?
Some form of alcohol?
Associated with a particular country? Yes *applause*
A meal? No. *a sprinkling of laughter*
Some form of alcohol? Yes, the vegetable component is some form of alcohol. *applause* (I was probably overthinking earlier when I said liquid was "least misleading"; I should have just said yes. But it doesn't seem to have slowed you up.)
Is the mineral salt?
Salt? No.
Is it a drink?
Is the mineral water?
Two pints of lager and a packet of pork scratchings?
A drink? The words on the card do not define a drink as such. The alcohol is intented to be drunk, however.
Mineral = water? While there may be some water mixed in the alcohol, the primary mineral component is not water.
Two pints of lager and a packet of pork scratchings? How can I put this? No.
Is the animal a fish?
Is the animal connection a by product like cheese?
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou?
Animal = fish? No.
Animal = By-product? No.
Wonderloaf, Mateus Rosé and him? No, but a nice guess.
Is the alcoholic part served separately to the edible component?
Alcohol and edible component served separately? No. *some applause*
Is the mineral part the container in which it is served?
Is it some kind of stew?
Is the animal a bird?
Mineral part = container? Yes. *applause*
Some kind of stew? No.
Animal = bird? No.
Clarification: my answer to "drink?" might have been unintentionally misleading. The answer is not exactly a drink, but it is not incorrect to think in terms of things that are. If you see what I mean. It always amazes me how hard it can sometimes be to answer even the simplest questions in this game.
Is it a canned item?
Is the alcoholic part a spirit?
Canned item? No.
Spirit? Yes.
Irish coffee?
Is it always the same spirit? (And if so, is it vodka?)
*wonders what kind of animal Raak takes in his coffee*
Is the animal component milk or milk-based?
Is the vegetable a fruit?
Always the same spirit? Yes.
Vodka? No.
Animal = milk? No.
Vegetable = fruit? No.
Is the spirit brandy?
Brandy? No.
Mezcal (the Mexican spirit with a worm in the bottle)?
And a massive leap to victory by Raak. The words on the card were "A bottle of Mezcal containing a worm", but I had previously decided that I would award victory as long as the words "mezcal", "bottle", and "worm" all appeared.
*hands a small, wriggling, inebriated baton to Raak*
Apparently the worm in the bottle was invented in 1950 by one Jacobo Lozano Paez as a marketing ploy for stupid gringo tourists.

The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.

Glass houses pierced by stones?
[Projoy] No, but you have the right general idea.
Is it a saying?
[rab] A saying? No.
(The general idea is a bit more general than that.)
Is the mineral rock?
[Rosie] Not rock.
Is the mineral in its natural state?
[Rosie] The mineral is not in its natural state.
Is it always made of the same material?
[rab] Yes, always the same material.
Begins with P?
...to try to give Rosie a hand, however small.
Plastic?
Is the object larger (in any dimension) than a dustbin?
more than one mineral?
[Tuj] Does not begin with a P.
[rab] Not plastic.
[Rosie] Not larger than a dustbin.
[Lib] Not more than one mineral.
Glass?
[rab] Yes! Glass.
Glass Menagerie?
[irach] Not a menagerie.
A cut-glass accent?
Like wot I 'ave.
[Rosie] Not ay cut-glahss eksent.
Is it half-full?
Is the glass a mirror?
[rab] Not half-full (nor half-empty, nor over-engineered for the purpose).
[irach] Not a mirror.
Is the glass component a container?
[irach] Yes, a container.
Is the container a bottle (with or without a genie)?
Is the contents important?
[irach] (applause!) It's a bottle. No genie.
[rab] The contents are not important.
I'll be in London all day tomorrow, doing the rounds of as many museums and art galleries as I can fit in, so you have a day to think about this abstract glass bottle.
A Klein bottle?
[Projoy] Surprisingly, not a Klein bottle.
Is it associated with a myth, legend or piece of history?
Losing one's bottle?
Hitting the bottle?
[rab] Not mythical, legendary, or historical.
[Irouléguy] Not losing it.
[irach] Not hitting it.
Is anything being done to it?
[rab] Nothing is being done to it.
Is the actual word "bottle" on the card?
[irach] (excited murmuring from the audience) Strictly speaking, no.
Is it bottled-up anger?
[rab] Not bottled-up anger.
A hint
There are two words on the card, including the indefinite article.
A jeroboam?
[Rosie] Not a jeroboam.
A decanter?
A gottle? (of the kind that generally contains geer)
[irach] Not a decanter.
[Projoy] Not a gottle.
Another hint
The Mineral meaning is less well-known than the Abstract meaning.
A fiasco?
[Rosie] Yes, a fiasco, and well done for avoiding one.
(Raak) Too kind; you haven't seen my Christmas arrangements.

Right, here we go with a fairly simple one that's ABSTRACT with MINERAL connections.

Is the mineral a metal?
Does it have religious connections?
Is it fictional?
irach - Not a metal
Inkspot - No religious connection
Irouléguy - Not fictional
Does it describe an emotional state?
irach - Nothing to do with the emotions.
related to music?
Ooh, sorry I forgot to get dressed up in my disguise above! How rude of me! *blushes*
(Lib) - Nothing to do with music.
Is the mineral liquid?
>Is the mineral ice?
Irouléguy - Yes, the mineral is liquid.
irach - Not ice. See above. :-)
Anything to do with the weather?
Is the liquid mineral potable (non life-threatening if imbibed)?
Is it flammable?
Coloured?
Does it f l o w?
Raak - Weather? Certainly is *applause*
irach - Potable? Very much so
Inkspot - Flammable? No. Laughter from audience
Lib - Coloured? Yes *whooping and shrieking from the rather plebby lot we've got in tonight*
Rab - Does it flow? - Course it flows, 's a bleed'n' liquid innit? Man of your calibre; I dunno.
Purple Rain?
irach - Not purple rain.

(tutti) Don't forget it's fundamentally abstract.

Some other colour of rain?
Somewhere Over the Rainbow?
Raak - Not rain of any colour
irach - Erm, I'm afraid not. *huge but rapidly-stifled audience eruption *
Non-alcoholic liquid, one assumes?
Projoy - T-t-t-totally correct, but you're moving in the wrong direction.
A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
Just a rainbow?
[Rosie] Sorry - was drunk last night.
Raak - Not the pot of gold, but . . . .

The rainbow itself. So the winner is the extraordinarily sober rab! Well done.

Eek!
Right, well I probably won't have 'net access after 9am tomorrow, so let's go for a really easy ANIMAL (with possible ABSTRACT tendancies).
a Gnu?
Not a Gnu.
A specific individual?
[Raak] Yes!
Fictional?
[irach] As the Germans say, jein.
Human?
Yes.
Is he/she dead, or as the Germans ask: Ist er/sie tot?
Errr..., jein. You have only a few hours left. If no one gets it, someone else can take over with what they think it is...
Male?
Yes!
Santa?
I said it was easy.
Ok, another easy one, to make sure it gets solved before Christmas.

ABSTRACT.

The First Noel?
[irach] Not the First Noel.
Xmas-related?
[Projoy] Coincidentally Xmas-related.
Related to religion?
A greeting?
[Projoy] Some relate it to their religion.
[Inkspot] Not a greeting.
Winter solstice?
Bingo!
[irach] The very words on the card.
Here we go again- This one is ANIMAL
Dickens?
[Rosie] Good try, but no. (Bah! Humbug!) ...the audience at least stirs slightly
Reindeer?
Human?
[lib] Nort reindeer.
[Tuj] Yes, human.
Christmas-related?
[Tuj] No Christmas connection.
A European?
A male?
In the news recently?
[Inkspot] European, yes.
[Projoy] Yes, male.
[Rosie] No, not that I know of.
Alive?
[Inkspot] Dead.
Was he born before 1900?
[Inkspot] Yes, born prior to 1900.
Involved in any of the creative arts?
[Rosie} Yes.
Born prior to 1700?
[Projoy] Yes, born prior to 1700.
In the Music Field?
[StormWraith] Not Music.
Is he in a visual art?
[StormWraith] Not a visual art per se.
Was he a Greek?
[Inkspot] Not Greek.
British?
[Lib] Jolly good, I say! Yes, British. (the audience stirs and begins humming "Rule Brittania")
A writer
I mean "A writer?"
Born prior to 1500?
[Rosie] Yes, a writer.
[Projoy] Born after 1500.
A playwright?
[Rosie] Yes, he wrote plays.
Shakespeare?
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