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AVMA Take 2
help
Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Bernoulli's Principle?
Lift?
Which could be correct, as Tuj's "A Force?" was not answered.
oooops again
zero g? No.
Bernouilli Principle? *tosses coin, checks* No.
Lift (or other force?)? No.
*surreptitiously removes "i" from Bernoodle*
To do also with money?
Jet lag?
Forget last question
jet lag?
...
...
...
...
No.
The gyroscopic effect?
OK, to do also with money?
gyroscopic effect? No.
to do with money? No.
Satellite Navigation?
satellite navigation? No. *more applause*
Altitude?
Elliptical orbit?
altitude is one of the two words on the card. *sustained applause*
elliptical orbit? No.
Cruising Altitude?
If that doesn't work I'll let others have a go.
Density Altitude?
No, I think INJ has it, actually.
Pressure Altitude?
Just in case INJ hasn't got it.
Cruising Altitude it is, prompted by the fact that I posted that AVMA at a height of 38,000 feet somewhere over Central Asia. *automatic pilot hands baton to INJ*
OK, a quick one then.
This one is MINERAL.
BTW I'm spending the long weekend away from contact. (No phone, no mobile connectivity, without walking 15 minutes, no road). So if you haven't got it by bedtime there could be a long pause.
naturally occurring?
Is there more than one instance of this?
[PJ]naturally occurring - YES
[CdM] >1 - NO is probably the less confusing answer
Larger than a house?
[CdM] > house - YES
A geographical feature?
Well this is going quickly
[Phil] geographical feature? - YES (applause)
In Europe?
[Phil] Mineral, larger than a house, INJ setting the clue -- it had to be a geographical feature. :-)
On Earth?
*senses possible topicality*
Is its name of plural form?
As in the Alps, the Urals, the Six Counties, etc.
[CdM] Europe - NO
[PJ] On Earth - YES (no ice balls here)
[Raak] name of plural form? - NO (that's not why)
Africa?
(Feel free to assume the rest of the questions :-) )
Feeling Liberated
[Néa] Africa - NO
(Feel free to assume the rest of the answers)
Asia?
[PJ] Asia - YES
The audience is following intently.
A Himalaya?
[Tuj] Himalaya? - NO
A group of islands?
Is it at sea?
A named object?
[Néa] archipelago? - NO
[Raak] At Sea? - NO (a few wry grins are seen),br>[PJ] named object? - YES
Preview, you Great Dummacks!
New Orleans?
A lake?
Which Asia was that?
[Raak] New Orleans? - NO
[Rosie] Lake? - YES
(Most of the audience applaud - a few sit pointedly on their hands)
The Caspian Sea?
Nearly there
[Néa] Non-princely Caspian - NO
Lake Baikal?
Aral Sea?
Lake Vostok?
And it’s a lurker’s victory for irach – the Aral Sea it is. The singular/plural question is because the evaporation has continued to such an extent that there are at least 3 unconnected bodies of water.

So, have a good weekend and over to irach.

Well, well, well... The next one is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL
Begins with a P?
[Tuj] As a matter of fact, Yes.
Manmade?
[Rosie] Yes.
Bigger than a telephone box?
Score!
[Tuj] No, smaller than a telephone box.
Bigger than a shoebox?
A household device?
[Projoy] Generally not larger than a shoebox, and definitely not in two of the three dimensions.
[Rosie] May occasionally be used in the household, but is also frequently utilized in other locales.
A man-made object?
[CdM] you obviously know him better than I do
Used in sport?
A passive object, i.e. not powered?
[Phil] Yes. A man-made object.
[Tuj] Not used in sport.
[Rosie} Not powered by electricity or any fuel.
A leather-bound filofax?
Is the vegetable part paper?
[Raak] No. Not a filofax.
[Tuj] The vegetable part is not paper.
Is the vegetable part wood?
Is the animal part alive?
[Tuj] Yes, the vegetable part is wood.(The dozing audience opens half an eye)
[Raak] Not alive.
Is the mineral part metal?
A musical instrument?
[Tuj] Yes, the mineral part is metal.
[Raak] Not a musical instrument.
Do many people carry this with them?
[Rosie] Most people have carried it at some time, some people carry this some of the time; a certain profession carries it more often than others.
A mobile phone?
[Rosie} Not a mobile phone.
Is it a penknife or pocket knife?
[penelope] Neither a penknife or pocket knife.
An umbrella?
[Raak]. Not an umbrella. (begins with "p", remember? Not a parasol either, however. As a clarification, one does not "carry" it so much as "handle" it in its use).
Does it have a use in an office?
A pen?
A container of some kind?
[Projoy] Not generally used in an office.
[Chalky] Not a pen (the audience stirs ever so slightly, though}
[Rosie] Not a container.
Connected with making marks?
a picture?
Connected with paint?
A paintbrush?
[Projoy] I presume one can make marks with it.
[INJ] Not a picture (but the audience sits up, taking notice, and a few nod knowingly)
[Raak] Yes. Connected with paint... (oooh, so close).
[Tuj] By Jove, you got it! YES - a paintbrush it is.
I say, I actually won one! That's never happened before!
So, I'll kick off with a nice easy ANIMAL.
Human?
[Kim] Nope.
Begins with a P??
[Néa] Naturally :D
Currently lives wild in Britain?
[Raak] Possibly, but a less misleading answer I think would be NO.
Dingo?
Is it a bird?
[irach] Not a dingo.
[Rosie] Not a bird (or a plane, or indeed Superman).
Do people keep it as a pet?
Is it a mammal?
Is it sometimes used a s a work animal?
A single named individual animal?
[Raak] Pets? No.
[Néa] Not a mammal.
[irach] Not a work animal, though it is useful.
[INJ] Not a specific single animal.
I feel so negative... at least you know it begins with P, eh? ;)
Does it live on land?
[INJ] As opposed to sea or sky YES, but that's not a brilliant answer.
Maybe I should have made more of the fact it's useful...
Does it live in fresh water?
Is it an insect?
Is it bred for a specific purpose?
[irach] No, I don't think so.
[Chalky-1] No...
[Chalky-2] Yes! (though not in all instances)
A pig?
A reptile?
[Rosie] Not a mammal, apparently.
[Rosie & Projoy] Neither a pig nor a reptile.
An invertebrate?
Individually visible to the naked eye?
Is its skin made into leather?
"Leather" includes crocodiles, snakes, eels, etc
Is it a fish?
Is it an animal product?
[irach] Spineless indeed.
[INJ] Probably...
{Raak] No!
[Kim] No!
[Chalky] YES! That's a much better line to go down.
Honey?
Edible?
[Rosie] No.
[Irouléguy] Yes *audience thinks about applauding, then doesn't
*
Eaten by human beings?
[Projoy] Taken in by humans, yes. Not sure what it'd do to anything else.
Do people drink it?
Connected with brewing or distilling?
[Raak] No
[Projoy] No.

I don't think I'm very good at this.
Is the animal a bird?
[Raak] Nope, that's been asked before (Rosie) and we've also established that it's iffy whether a single one would be visible to the naked eye (INJ). As far as your previous question goes, it is "eaten" as such, although I just don't think that's the right word.

I'm going away tomorrow for a few days so this may get abandoned.
Does whatever it is sort of just hang around in the air?
[Projoy] No I'm afraid.
Is it alive?
Paramoecium?
A medication?
[Projoy] The animal yes, the animal product I'm fairly sure not
[irach] Afraid not
[Inkspot] Yes! *audience applause threatens structural instability*
Penicillin?
[Projoy] YES! *lights flash, trumpets sound*
'cuh, thank goodness that's over. I'll go back to guessing!
Oh dear, me again. OK, something everyone will have heard of, this time. ABSTRACT
Begins with a P?
Ahh, much better.
A human construct?
(Tuj) Penicillin is not an animal product but originally came from a mould. It can now be synthesised chemically.
[Tuj] YES, it does begin with a P!
[Rosie] YES, a human construct. Hm. Are moulds animal or vegetable or taxonomically in an "ancestor-to-both" category?
Procrastination?
[CdM] I'll tell you later.
To do with art?
Procrastination?
[Rosie] Yes, I realised I'd plunged in and labelled it animal without considering vegetable, but never mind. Thankfully my mess was cleared up by Inkspot & Projoy.
[Raak] Art? Most helpful answer is NO.
[Tuj] I'm getting to that one. It's the next thing on my list. More later.
An organisation?
(Pj) Moulds are a type of fungi, apparently. I can't see how there can be any connection with animals. Animal can turn into Vegetable eg manure (there's polite for you) but surely not the other way round?
[Rosie] Organisation? NO.
Is it fictional?
[Is] Fictional? NO
Is there a religious connection?
Anythig to do with furries?
Predestination?
Plutocracy?
Parsimony?
[Ig] Religious connection? NO
[Raak] Furry connection? NO
[Chalky] Predestination, Plutocracy or Parsimony? NO
A political concept?
[Rosie] Political? NO, well, only in the vaguest possible way.
Philosphy?
[Phil] Osophy? NOPE. (I do sometimes think that knowing the first letter is actually a bad thing. Encourages premature guessing).
An emotion?
(not wanting to be premature)
[Phil] An emotion? NO.
Premature Guessing?
Har har :P
[CdM] Premature Speculation? NO
Poincaré's Conjecture?
Possible event?
An activity?
Pantomime?
( [Tuj]With regard to the earlier one, can "Penicillin", a fungus, really be classified as an "animal"? Shouldn't it have been "vegetable"?)
[Raak] Poincaré's conjecture? NO
[Inkspot] Possible event? NO
[Ig] Activity? NO
[irach] Panto? OH, NO IT ISN'T!
Probability of having its own Wikipedia entry?
[Inkspot] Technically, I can answer only YES or NO, but since it's you, I shall reply that the probability is 100%.
Did it exist more than a century ago?
Is it an artistic style?
A bodily function? (not necessarily a rude one).
[Raak] More than a century old? YES
[Phil] Artistic style, NO
[Rosie] Bodily function, rude or otherwise, NO
To do with language?
[Raak] Language connection? NOT REALLY, except in a fairly catch-all sense.
Is it timeless?
[Phil] Timeless? NO
What it's not...
Art, organisation, fictional, religious, furry, political, philosophical, emotion, possible event, activity, panto, style, bodily function, language, timeless.
The definition of planets?
Scientific/Technical?
[Raak] Definition of planets? NO
[Rosie] Scientific/Technical? YES (for the most part) *audience applause, although one or two pedants get into fistfights*
Also - it isn't predestination, plutocracy or parsimony.
*is somewhat bemused by the pedants who have to resort to fisticuffs and tells them it's not THAT important - fer gawd's sake*
Periodic Table?
[Elemental, my dear Chalky] Periodic Table? NO
A theory?
[Inkspot] A theory? NO
Anything to do with the weather?
Is it an "-ology" ?
[Rosie] To do with the weather? NO
[Philology]? NO, not an ology.
[Projoy] Takes a lot to make me laugh on a monday morning, but thanks for "Philology" - raised a titter, at least :-)
Anything to do with a craft of some sort?
[Raak] To do with a craft of some sort? Strictly, NO (but note my emphasis).
A general skill?
[Raak] NO, not a skill. (damn, thought we were almost there for a moment!)
Is it a practice of some kind?
[Kim] Practice, NO.
Need a clue?
WE will ask the questions!
Er, actually, yes.
Clue-o-rama
OK, strictly it's not to do with any particular craft, but it is relevant to craft in general, so long as you take a very broad definition of craft (i.e. not corn dollies and marquetry). In principle it need not be to do with science and/or technology, but in practice it usually is. The Answer is not a verb, gerund or adjective, nor is it any kind of "ism".
(The Answer is a single word, too).
Production?
[Phil] Production, NO? * murmur of interest from the audience*
[CdM] Procrastination, NO (Sorry for the delay).
Anything to do with the occult?
[Chalky] To do with the occult, NO (not that kind of craft, either :))
Does it invove making pictures?
Powerpoint?
[Raak] Involves making pictures? OFTEN, IN PRACTICE *smattering of applause*
[Chalky] Powerpoint, NO.
photography?
strike that - silly guess, photography is an activity
is it a graphics programme?
[Chalky] Graphics programme, NO.
We'll be right back after this message from our sponsor....
PS. Having just looked up fungi in Wikipedia (nothing to do with the answer to mine), I read this: "Fungi were originally classified as plants, however have since been separated as they are heterotrophs. This means they do not fix their own carbon through photosynthesis, but use carbon fixed by other organisms for metabolism. Fungi are now thought to be more closely related to animals than to plants, and are placed with animals in the monophyletic group of opisthokonts." The article classifies them as "Kingdom: Fungi", so maybe this game should become AVFM?
+A
(after further research) Hm. Possibly the game should even be Animal, Plant, Fungi, Protista, Archaebacteria, Eubacteria, Non-Organic, Abstract. Might take the fun out of it, tho.
[Projoy] What about objects that refuse to define themselves in terms of an oppressive system of categories that makes no allowance for their unique viewpoint?
[Raak] They must be sent to the salt mines.
Day dreaming?
[Inkspot] Sorry, yes, I was miles away.
[IS] Er, daydreaming? NO.
Linked with a particular culture or country?
[all] Sorry for finding out it began with P...
[all again] But far more sorry for my momentary lapse in forgetting the "vegetable" category - luckily I've been away over the weekend and my embarassment has cooled. And to me (and most I guess) mould would certainly be vegetable, whatever dratted Wikipedia thinks.
You and Linnaeus, even, so you're in good company
[Tuj] Linked with a particular culture or country? NOT ANY MORE
Is it a process?
Was this thing invented by mankind?
[Phil] Funny, that's just the question I was going to ask in my post-before-last.
[Phil] Is it a process? UMMMM, NO (a process is involved, however)
[Tuj] Invented by mankind? YES (i.e. a human construct)
In the last 500 years?
[Tuj] Invented in the last 500 years? NO.
[Projoy] I think we have already had this discussion.
The last thousand?
This is a struggle, but a very interesting one.
One last thing before I give up, as this thing is an abstract human construction is it a thought process or something like that goes on in someone's head.
Proof?
Hello everyone. I've been away far too long.
[Tuj] Invented in the last thousand years. YES. Some accounts say that this was around a long time before its "official" invention date in the last thousand years, but I'll go with the account that gives a specific date.
[Inkspot] Thought process? NOT EXCLUSIVELY, this thing (rather than process) is abstract (i.e. non-tangible), but it is also translated into tangible form and because of that it has a definite effect on people's behaviour in the real world.
[flerdle] Proof? NO, although proof (in the informal sense) is often involved.
Printing?
[Raak] Printing? NO (not that informal sense of proof!)
propaganda?
A pendulum?
[flerdle] Propaganda, NO
[Raak] Pendulum, NO
(and if the diversity of those last few guesses isn't a hint that we still need more broad deductive questions, I don't know what is!)
To the question by Tuj "Linked with a particular culture or country?" you replied "NOT ANY MORE". Does that mean that it began in one country but it is now world wide.

ps if yes, a great clue would be the coutry of origin.

Is it associated with a particular way of life?
OK, let's be a bit helpful here...
[Inkspot] OK, for nothing I shall reveal that this thing first appeared (according to the account I am following) in Venice first (when Venice was a country).
[Phil] Associated with a particular way of life? NOT REALLY (unless you mean particular professions?)
Pasta?
[Raak] Wikipedia says that pasta originated in many places independently, the earliest records being from China, so NO.
Patents?
[flerdle] PATENT, YES! *astonished but grateful applause from the audience*.
Well, it couldn't be double-entry book-keeping
Gosh.

OK, short and simple:       VEGETABLE

Is it really a fungus? :)
*giggles*
[Projoy] Fungus? NO
Is it green?
Is it edible?
Is it wood?
Is it a whole plant? (Not having played here for months)
[Projoy] Green? Can be
[Chalky] Edible? YES
[Raak] Wood? NO
[Darren] a whole plant? NO
Is it a pepper?
Or an apple?
Or tea?
[Darren] a pepper? strictly NO, but may be involved.
[Projoy] an apple? strictly NO, but may be involved.
[Irouléguy] tea? NO.
A particular dish?
Pizza?
[Projoy] a particluar dish? YES and NO, but probably more helpful if you take that as "YES".
[Raak] Pizza? yes please!! oh.     NO.
The recommended five portions a day?
[Projoy] It's seven portions here... but either way, NO
Salad?
Is it associated with a particular country?
Is it eaten hot?
[Projoy] Salad? NO
[Inkspot] Associated with a particular country? YES! *audience cheers*
[Raak] Eaten hot? NO
A European Country?
Is any sort of grain product involved?
Beguns with a P?
[Projoy] a European country? NO. Well, not at first.
[Raak] involving grainproduct? NO
[pTuj]   starts wuth a P? No. Sorry.
Is the country India?
Ottoman Empire or some other way of saying "Turkish" that wasn't, at first, European?
Tofu kebab?
[Darren] India? YES! *more cheers*
[Projoy] Turkish etc? NO
[Raak] Tofu kebab? NO
NB need sleep, sorry for the upcoming delay, do guess on...
Ayurvedic cuisine?
Some sort of curry?
Does one find it in Indian restaurants outside India?
Contains mango?
Some sort of chutney or pickle?
[Projoy] Ayurvedic cuisine? vaguely.
[Darren] Curry? NO but ever so close
[Raak] found in Indian restaurants outside India? YES
[irach] contains mango? YES and no. Depends.
[Irouléguy] a chutney or pickle? YES!! *audience cheers wildly, orders takeaway*

Chutney it is. Over to you Irouléguy

Sorry for the delay! Out all day, and I'm out again tonight. Another quick one, I hope - ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Fictional?
Male?
Raak] Fictional? NO
Inkspot] Male? Usually, but not exclusively.
Symbolic?
The name of a job?
Raak] Symbolic? NO
Projoy] The name of a job? NO
Is it an activity?
A game?
Is the animal connection human?
Connected to religion?
Is more than one sort of animal involved?
Chalky] Is it an activity? *applause* YES
Rosie] A game? *louder applause, quite possibly beer-fuelled* YES
ImNotJohn] Is the animal connection human? YES
Inkspot] Connected to religion? *some sardonic chuckling* NO
Raak] Is more than one sort of animal involved? YE-ES, though I don't think that's helpful.
Football?
Game hunting?
Fuzzy Duck?
Cricket?
Assuming the ball contains leather.
Golf?
Raak - Football? NO
Projoy - Game hunting? NO - the other animals are red herrings
Phil - Fuzzy Duck? *the audience break into teams to play* Nice idea, but no.
Rosie - Cricket? NO *polite applause*
Assuming the ball contains leather - that assumption contains two unasked questions.
Darren] Golf? NO
Is it a ball game?
Darren] Is it a ball game? YES
Golf?
A team game?
Lacrosse?
Primarily associated with a particular country?
Handball?
Wondering whether games with implements like bats/clubs/whatever would have vegetable/mineral/whatever connections.
Baseball?
Is the animal connection _only_ human?
Rosie hits a a home run! It's baseball (the other animal connection being the leather-covered ball - I did say it was a red herring.) *Hands bat over*
Good heavens, I've won. Better have a lie down. That's better.

Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines, but nevertheless MINERAL.

Metal?
A geographical feature?
Does it require electric power?
(Tuj, Phil, Inkspot) Not metallic, geographical or electrically-powered.
All together now, A human construct?
Smaller than a phone box?
(Projoy) YES, made by humans.
(Tuj) YES. Strictly, extremely unlikely that it's not.
Made of glass?
(Raak) - Made of glass? YES - *vigorous applause*
A container?
Is it made from just the one material?
A beer glass?
Raak - A container? - NO
Inkspot - Made from one material? -YES
Irouléguy - Beer glass? - How dare you? - NO
A decorative item?
(Phil) - Decorative item? Could be, but real answer is NO.
It is for looking through?
A scientific item?
(Raak) - For looking through? - NO
(Phil) - A scientific item? - YES
A pipette?
Is it a container?
(Irg) A pipette? - NO
(Darren) Already been asked - NO
Does it have other uses aside from the scientific one(s)?
(Darren) - Other uses - YES (if science and technology are distinct)
Thermometer?
(irach) - NO - Not a thermometer.
A mirror?
A prism
Can't believe no-one's asked if it starts with "P" yet...
(Raak) - Not a mirror, but (Phil) YES! - A prism. Carry on; it's all yours.
Well, stap me vitals, Bloodnok!

OK, this time I'll go for VEGETABLE & MINERAL

The vegetable's wood and the mineral's metal?
Salt and vinegar crisps?
Anything to do with dispensing inebriating fluids?
[Irach 1] Wood? CAN BE
[Irach 2] Metal? NO
[Darren] Walkers' Finest S&V? NO
[Rosie] To do with intoxicating liquor? NO
Bigger than a telephone kiosk?
[Chalky] Bigger than phonebox? NO
Is it a manufactured object?
A tool?
Is the mineral fluid?
[Darren] Manufactured? YES
[INJ] A tool? NO
[Raak] Fluid mineral? YES
Is the fluid water?
[Darren] Water? Not entirely
Is it a container of some sort?
[Chalky] Container? NO
Any connection with weather forecasting?
Barometer?
[Chalky] Weather forecasting? Dear God, NO - who do you think I am? :-)
[Darren] Barometer? NO
Is the water sea water?
Is it a drink?
Begins with a P?
Oh.
[Raak] Sea water? NO
[Inkspot] A drink? NO, unless you have very bizarre tastes...actually, just make that a stright NO
[Tuj] Begins with P? Sorry, NO.
Is the fluid used for cleaning?
Is the fluid colourless?
[Rosie] Fluid for cleaning? NO
[Inkspot] Is the fluid colourless? I don't know, but it could be I suppose.
Would you normally find it in the home?
Normally found in the home? Hmmmm, how pedantic do I want to be. YES, it could normally be found in a home; NO, a home is not the only place it is normally found.
Is it a measurement device?
Is the vegetable also part of the fluid?
[Kim] Measurement device? NO
[Inkspot] Is the vegetable also part of the fluid? NO
I think I need to provide a little guidance/clarification. The "manufactured object" does not contain any fluid.
Is it edible?
[Tuj] Edible? NO
Is it something that you put into a fluid?
Is it more likely to have a use in the workplace?
[Raak] Something that you put into a fluid? NO
[Chalky] More likely to have a use in the workplace? Possibly, but I'd say equally useful at home as at work.
Smaller than a toaster?
[Tuj] Smaller than a toaster? YES
Anything to do with sports?
Anything to do with cooking?
Is the vegetable part alive?
Is it something one could wear?
[Chalky] Sport? NO
[Rosie] Cooking? NO
[Tuj] Live vegetable? NO
[Darren] Something one could wear? Hmmm..it has been done, but I'd say NO.
Is it used to separate something from something else?
A newspaper? (The paper is dead vegetable, the printing ink being a fluid mineral, and newspapers have known to be worn on a couple of occasions, one can use it at home or in the office)
[Darren] To separate two things? NO *some whispering in the audience*
[irach] Newspaper? NO, *audience applauds irach's effort, despite it being wrong*
Is it printed paper?
Is paper involved?
Is is something to do with the arts?
[Raak] Printed paper? NO
[Tuj] Involves paper? NO
[Kim] To do with the arts? NO
*An audience member stands up and explains that they were applauding irach for applying his deductive powers and coming up with an excellent explanation, even though "newspaper" still isn't close*
A further hint/elaboration. The mineral fluid is used in the manufacture of the object from vegetable sources.
Was this thing "invented"?
[Phil] I'd realised what the audience were applauding for, but still did my daft guess anyway. Ah well.
medicinal?
[Tuj] Invented? YES
[Chalky] Medicinal? NO
Is the material used in arts and crafts?
[Raak] Used in arts and crafts? Can be, but not exclusively. *a ripple of applause*
Some sort of fixative or glue?
A model airplane made from balsa wood and epoxy adhesive?
[Chalky] Some sort of fixative or glue? YES *enthusiastic applause*
[irach] model aeroplane etc? NO
Good old-fashioned wood glue?
Wallpaper paste?
[Rosie] Wood glue? NO
[CHalky] Wallpaper paste? NO
An apology I applied too liberal a meaning to "fixative". Having now looked it up, I would have to give my earlier answer to Chalky as "NO, but getting close"
Polyfiller?
[Chalky] Polyfilla? NO
Play Doh?
Size?
I have no idea what size is made from, actually.
[Chalky] Playdoh? NO
[Raak] Size? NO (it's just weak wallpaper paste)
Papier maché?
Is it used in photography?
A plastic laminated card?
[Raak] Papier Maché? NO
[Kim] Photographical? NO
[irach] Plastic laminated card? NO *murmurs of interest from audience, who were starting to nod off*
Anyone for a summary?
What it is: it is manufactured; the vegetable aspect can be wood; the mineral aspect is fluid which is not entirely water and is probably colourless; it is found in the home and the workplace; it is smaller than a toaster; it was invented; it could be associated loosely with fixatives/glues.

What it's not: crisps; anything to do with booze; bigger than a phonebox; a tool; a container; anything to do with weather-forecasting (including barometers); involving sea water; a drink; starting with P; used as a cleaning fluid; a measurement device; linked to vegetal fluid; to do with sport or cooking; alive; something to wear (conventionally); a means of separation; a newspaper; printed paper; involving paper; to do with the arts; medicinal; a fixative or glue; model aeroplane; wood glue; wallpaper paste; polyfilla; playdoh; size; papier maché; plastic laminated card

Sellotape?
some sort of sealant?
[Tuj] Sellotape? YES, dagnammit, YES !!!! *rapturous applause*
[Chalky] A sealant? Well, as you can now see, it can be.
The vegetable is wood, cotton or hemp. That's dissolved in alkali to make viscose, then extruded into an acid bath to make cellophane. Rubber resin is applied to the cellophane to make Sellotape (or Scotch Tape or cellophane tape). My confusion over "fixative" was because I thought it meant something to fix one thing to another. Over to you Tuj, and congrats.
Ooh 'eck
Can I pass this one up? I'm probably not going to be around enough in the coming days - I'm packing & leaving for my second year of uni at present, a little mad (and no guarantee of having Internet at the other end yet...)
Whoever's in next with a good idea can take the baton.
May I ...?

VEGETABLE with traces of MINERAL with a strong ABSTRACT element.
A crucifix? (And if not, connected with religion?)
A vegetarian diet?
[Darren] Crucifix? NO
[ " ]Connected with religion? NO
[Rosie] A vegetarian diet? NO
Edible?
Connected with the arts?
[irach] edible? NO
[Darren] Connected with the arts? It depends on what you mean by the arts; there IS a tenuous connection but it would be more useful to you if I said NO.
Some sort of printed material?
[Raak] Some sort of printed material? YES
The Holy Bible?
Connected to an event?
[irach] Holy Bible? See Darren's first question (and the reply)
[Inkspot] Connected to an event? NO
Does it have pictures?
Is the vegetable wood?
A textbook of some kind?
[Darren] Pictures? Yes - sort of
[Inkspot] Wood? Yes
[Rosie] A textbook? YES
Was it first printed before 1900?
[Inkspot] printed before 1900? NO
The Highway Code?
[Iroule] Highway Code? NO
Connected to science?
Used in schools?
[Inks] Connected to science? Not in the sense I'm guessing you mean.
[Raak] Used in schools? I'll say NO so as not to mislead you, but this object can be used almost anywhere.
Is it a list in any sense?
A cookery book?
A computing book?
Is the author British?
*apologises for absence from game duty this weekend ..*
[Rosie] A list? In any sense? Erm .. no but then again .. SORT OF
[Iroule] Cookery? NO :-)
[Raak] Compooting? NO
[Inks] British Author? Originally, YES
Grammar book?
[irach] Grammar Book? NO
Jane's Fighting Ships?
Was it first printed before 1950?
[Rosie] Jane's? NO
[Iroule] Printed before 1950? YES
Is it revised and updated annually?
[Inks] Revised and updated annually? I don't think it's annual but it's certainly revised and updated regularly. Excellent question :-)
With alphabetically arranged entries?
[Projoy] Alphabetically arranged entries? IN PART
Wisden?
[Raak] Wisden? NO
Roget's thesaurus?
Is there a sporting connection?
[Darren] Roget's? NO
[Iroule] sporting connection? NO
Does it have satirical connotations?
An encyclopedia?
[Darren] satirical connotations? Nah
[Raak] Hen-sigh-klo-pee-dear? No it isn't and I'm surprised that no-one has asked that yet.

By way of a clue, I'm going to give a belated *audience applauds* to a question posed by Irouléguy on Saturday.
To do with transport?
A map?
[Rosie] Transport? Yes
[Raak] A map? No and YES *hurrah*
The A-Z?
AA members' handbook?
[Iroule] AA member's handbook? No, because ...
[Projoy] The answer is THE London A-Z, but that's the one you probably meant - so CHEERS FOR PROJOY :-)
Over to you ..
Okey doke... the next one is ANIMAL.
Living?
Human?
[irach] Living? YES
[Rosie] Human? YES
The Queen?
Helen Mirren?
Male?
Born before 1960?
Projoy?
Him *points*
A member of the Morniverse?
It's not me, is it?
[Raak] HMQ? No
[Ig] HM? No
[irach] Male? YES
[Inkspot] Natally prior to JFK Presidency? YES
[Darren] Me? No (I have, in fact, already been "done" in this game)
[Phil] Darren? No
[Rosie] A member of the Morniverse? No.
[Kim] Not you either, I'm afraid.
Born before 1900?
Fictional?
An entertainer?
A royal?
[Ig] A Pre-Labour Party baby? No.
[UK] Fictional? No.
[Raak] Entertainer? No.
[Darren] A royal? No.
A scientist?
[Raak] A scientist, YES.
Physicist?
[Darren] Physicist? No.
A biologist?
[Raak] A biologist, YES.
Richard Dawkins?
[Darren] YES, that's the fella. Over to you.
Here we go: ABSTRACT/ANIMAL
A fictional character?
Animal instinct?
Fictional? No.
Animal instinct? No.
A grouping of animals?
Grouping of animals? In a manner of speaking.
Are the animals human?
An organisation?
A political party?
White elephant?
A sporting team?
Is the abstract element a generic term?
Animals=human? Yes.
Organisation? Yes.
Political party? Yes. (Applause on that one.)
White elephant? No.
Sporting team? No.
Abstract element=generic term? No.
A British political party?
British political party? Yes. (Again, applause.)
The Labour Party?
[Projoy] Labour? No.
The Monster Raving Loony Party?
Currently in existence?
Monster Raving Loony Party? No.
Currently in existence? Yes.
The Liberal Democrats?
UKIP?
*suspects Projoy has got it, but just in case*
Plaid Cymru?
UKIP? No.
Plaid Cymru? No.
Liberal Democrats? Yes. (Huge applause.) So it's over to Projoy again.
OK... MINERAL
Metal?
[Rosie] Metal, no.
Solid?
[ir] Solid, YES
Does it occur in nature?
[Quen] Occurs in nature, no.
A polymeric material?
Is it unique?
A work of art?
Is it larger than a telephone box?
[irach] A polymer? No (well, I don't think so - that's long chains of molecules, yeah?)
[Quen] Not unique
[Raak] Work of art? No, not really
[Darren] YES, larger than a telephone box.
Glass?
Is it intended for people to go inside?
Is it a building?
[Ink] Not glass.
[Darren] For people to go inside. YES *one or two titters from the audience*
[Chalks] YEEEEES. Certainly a LOT more yes than no, and YES would be the best answer to proceed with.
Does it have moving parts?
A stone pyramid for dead people to go inside?
A public lavatory?
A pig sty?
[Quen] Moving parts? No.
[irach] Stone pyramid for dead people? No. *scattering of applause*
[Rosie] Public lav? No.
[Ink] Pig Sty? No.
A single, specific building?
[INJ] Single, specific, No.
A crematorium?
Public lavatory?
Is it made from stone?
Are they still being widely built?
[ig] Crem? NO. * a stir of interest in the audience *
[irach] Lav? See above.
[Chalky] Stone, YES!
[Ink] Still widely built? No.
A mausoleum?
[Ig] Mausoleum? NO. * audience still interested *
A tumulus?
They're clouds, aren't they?
[INJ] A tumulus? No.
cromlech
Stone sarcophagus?
Is it associated with death?
[Inkspot] Cromlech, no.
[irach] sarcophagus, no
[INJ] Death association, YES.
A crypt?
Although there is a fine distinction between that and a mausoleum...
[CdM] YES - I was thinking specifically of the kind of crypt that sits under a church (and hence is only just classifiable as a building in itself), rather than the more modern type of standalone crypt which is almost synonymous with a vault or mausoleum. * hands baton to CdM, reassumes his clanking chains and retires to his berth in the crypt below, accompanied by organ music*
*returns only to pick up his scythe and pop in a line*
Very well then: VEGETABLE.
Ack, wait, CdM chooses the next item, isn't that right? What a terrible faux pas. Please disregard!
[Quen] Yeah, it's usually the successful guesser who sets the next one... although in this case he hasn't been around for 12 hours. See if he turns up in the next 12 and if not we could go with yours...
Currently alive?
[Q] That's ok. I've set several in the past few weeks (on account of being such a brilliant guesser an' all). Welcome and go right ahead.
Edible?
Quendalon] Welcome - always nice to get new players.
A drink?
To think it took me four years and a box of chocs before my first AMVA ;)
A single specific object?
Thank you all for the kind welcome! This looks like fun. :)

[CdM] No, not currently alive.
[Irouléguy] Not edible.
[Inkspot] Definitely not a drink.
[ImNotJohn] YES, a single specific object.
Made of wood?
[Quendalon] Come to a pilg and play it in person. It's much harder that way!
[Darren] (the judges confer) Partially, if not wholly. What's a pilg?
smaller than a telephone box?
[Quendalon] 'pilg' is a shortened form of 'pilgrimage' which describes any occasion when members of this community actually meet up and well ... erm ... y'know the sort of thing. There are some fine archives of Pilgs in OrangeMC - just look under Local Information in the index, then click on MC, then click on Pilgrims. Also there is a Chat Game called 'To be A Pilgrim' which may give you some insight.
Is it an item of furniture?
Pilgs (short for pilgrimages) are when we all go to a particular place to meet up and play games in person. We do them usually a few times a year, mostly to the Head of Steam pub in London, plus the big one which has, up to this year, taken place in Rugby, where we make a weekend of it. The last one took place earlier this month. (Next year's is likely to be closer to Leicester.) See the game "To Be a Pilgrim" on Orange for more info. And I was simulposted by Chalky.
Ah, okay. Unfortunately a pilg is unlikely as I'm across the water and in poor financial straits besides. Alas!

[Chalky] Yes, smaller than a telephone box.
[Darren] No, not an item of furniture.
smaller than a toaster?
[Chalky] You could probably fit it into a toaster with some effort.
Is it connected with the arts?
[Darren] Not directly, no.
Is this object in Europe?
Does it stand for anything?
Connected with sport?
The judges have rebuked me for providing incorrect information. Contrary to one of my answers to Darren, the subject does not currently contain any wood; moreover, it contains an ABSTRACT component. One judge testily observed that I should not have taken on such a complicated subject for my first time around.

[Darren] The item currently asserted to be the subject is in Europe, yes.
[Projoy] It has powerful symbolic value to many.
[ImNotJohn] NO, not connected with sport.
Connected with religion?
[Darren] YES, connected with religion. (applause)
The Burning Bush?
Is it some sort of acoutrement?
Is the religion Christianity?
[Phil] The Burning Bush? No. [Projoy] An accoutrement? Um... sort of. [Darren] YES, the religion is Christianity.
Let's try that again, with line breaks this time!

[Phil] The Burning Bush? No.
[Projoy] An accoutrement? Um... sort of.
[Darren] YES, the religion is Christianity.
Worn on the head?
The Turin Shroud?
The Sudarium of Oviedo?
[Projoy] Worn on the head? YES. (more applause)
[Raak] The Shroud of Turin? No.
[Darren] I've never even heard of the Sudarium of Oviedo, so no. :-)
The Spear of Longinus?
Oops, missed the q about worn on the head.
The Pope's hat?
Worn by a living person?
The Sudarium of Oviedo is a piece of cloth said to have been placed on Jesus' face shortly after the crucifixion, and bears stains believed to be the blood of Christ. So now you know.
Crown of Thorns?
[Phil] No wood in it, apparently, "these days".
[Raak] Papal tiara? No.
[Darren] Worn by a living person? No.
[Phil] Crown of Thorns? YES. (the audience cheers)

Over to you, Phil!
[Quen] Ah. Cool. But what did you mean by "the subject does not currently contain any wood" - as in, it doesn't currently exist?
[Quen] I agree with Projoy's point there. If you're saying it doesn't currently exist, then why weren't the other questions answered in the same way? "Is it an accoutrement? Not right now. Is it a single specific object? Not any more." That may seem pedantic, but this is an MC site, after all!
For once I'll ignore pedantry and celebrate my magnificent victory with at least one mug of coffee :)

Next item for your illation is ANIMAL

Living?
[irach] Living? YES
Human?
[Darren] Human? YES
Male?
A politician?
Over 40?
British?
[Projoy] Male? YES
[Rosie] Politician? YES
[Quendalon] Over 40? YES
[Inkspot] British? NO
European?
[Inkspot] European? YES *Audience wonders if 6 Yesses out of 7 is a new record*
An official of the EU?
Berlusconi?
working to get the average down
Nicolas Sarkozy?
Eastern European (i.e. east of the old iron curtain)?
A president?
American?
Putin?
[Raak] EU Official? NO
[CdM] Berlusconi? NO
[Irouléguy] Sarkozy? NO
[Projoy] E. Europe? NO
[Inkspot] A president? NO
[Kim] American? NO
[irach] Putin? NO
*Audience wishes it had kept its collective gob shut*
Member of a centre-left party?
French?
Currently head of state?
Irish?
As distinct from British.
Currently in the news?
A grandee, i.e. semi-retired?
A member of a party currently in government?
Scandinavian?
Can't blame me for asking.
[Inkspot] Centre-left party? NO (carefully)
[Chalky] French? NON
[irach] Head of state? NO (again,carefully)
[Darren] Irish? YES *applause*
[Raak] In the news? In his own country, yes.
[Rosie] Semi-retired? NO
[Irouléguy] In government? YES
[Néa] Scandinavian? NO
Bertie Ahern?
[Projoy] Pádraig Parthalán Ó hEachthairn (aka Patrick Bartholomew "Bertie" Ahern)? YES
I had to tread carefully around the "centre-left" as Fianna Fail was originally a centre-left party, but is no longer. Also, as Taoiseach, he's not a head of state, just a head of government. An Uachtarán (Mary McAleese) is the head of state.
Congrats to Projoy! - actually he was slightly in the news recently, as I saw him on TV on Sunday at the Ryder Cup.
OK. ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE and ANIMAL connections.
Fictional?
[Darren] Fictional? Strictly speaking, this is a N/A. But YES will probably be more helpful.
Connected with religion?
[Quen] Connected with religion? NO, not really.
A figure of speech?
Is the animal connection human?
Is the vegetable connection wood?
A fictitious creature?
[Ink] Figure of speech? NO
[INJ} Human animal connection: YES
[Kim] Veg connection wood? NO
[Raak] A fictitious creature? NO.
Something symbolic?
A place?
Connected with the arts?
[Raak] Symbolic? NOT REALLY
[Chalky] A place? NO
[Quen] Connected with the arts? YES
The performing arts?
[INJ] performing arts? NO.
A painting?
[Projoy] A daub? NO.
[Darren] See previous comment to myself.
[Projoy] You must stop doing that, you know. First sign of madness.
[Projoy] Ooh. Look who's talking!
Connected with sculpture?
Is it a style?
[Raak] Sculpture? NO
[Quen] Style? NO
Is it an organisation of some sort?
Is it a work of art?
Is it a period of art history?
[Chalky] Organisation, NO
[Quen] A work of art, YES
[Darren] Period of art history, NO
Simon Patterson's 'The Great Bear'?
[Chalky] Simon and his amazing dancing tube map? NO.
Is it a work of fiction?
[Q] A work of fiction? YES (and it's therefore fictional in the sense its content is fictional, but also non-fictional in the sense that it exists (the opposite, one might say, of Causabon's Key to All Mythologies or the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.)
)
Written in the 20th century?
[Darren] C20th? Yes.
Author British?
[irach] Brit author? YES.
A comic strip?
[Ink] Comic strip, NO.
A humourous novel?
Has it won a major literary prize?
A C.S. Lewis work?
[Kim] humorous? NO
[Ink] Prizewinning? NO * a couple of lowbrow titters from the audience*
[irach] Lewis? NO * a couple of erudite titters from the audience*
First published since 1945?
Tolkien?
"Leaf by Niggle"
...?
A poem?
Made into a movie or TV series?
[INJ] published since 1945? NO
[Raak] Tolkien? Leaf by Niggle? NO
[Inkspot] Pome? NO
[irach] Made into a movie/TV series? YES and YES.
[INJ] PS. There is a sort-of case to be made for a YES answer to your question in addition to NO.
A series of books?
Are the vegetable and animal referred to in the title?
Was the author born before 1900?
In the genre of fantasy?
[Rosie] A series? NO *some chuckles from the audience at the thought of it*
[Raak] References in the title to the vegetable? NO. Or the animal? YES.
[Inkspot] Natally prior to first New York Electric Buses? YES
[Quen] Fantasy genre? *appreciative laughter and clapping from the audience* NO.
Science fiction?
Is the title the name of a major character?
SciFi? NO *a more contemplative mood steals over the audience, some smiling wryly but privately at this thought, others casting their eyes down and listening with a neutral expression*
[Darren] Title the name of a major character? *some of the audience look up. Two people bite their bottom lips.* NO.
(To be more useful...) Does the title contain the name of a major character?
First published before 1930?
Is the author male?
Was it written for children?
[Darren] Eponymity? YES
[Quen] Published before 1930, YES
[ir] Male author? YES
[Ink] Written for children? *much laughter from the audience* NO.
[Darren] Er, I meant broad eponymity, rather than narrow, YES.
Pornographic?
[Phil] Pr0nographic? YES *applause*
Lady Chatterley's Lover?
Quendalon must be right. I trust he/she has a pornograph.
Would you want your wife or servants...?
[Quendalon] Indeed, YES!. Lady C and John Thomas it is.
[Projoy] What was the vegetable connection? Is there a notorious scene set in the kitchen garden, involving provocatively-shaped parsnips?
[Raak] Lady Chatterley's Lover is a novel, thus printed on paper.
(well, until recent digital innovations)
Incidentally, I'd never noticed before that the prosecution's "wife or servants" remark, although it certainly was out of touch, is a rhetorical way of activating the jealousy of rich husbands. Don't put ideas in their heads, it suggests, or you too may be cuckolded. Had always assumed before now it was just a general appeal to protect the weak-minded from moral corruption.
[Projoy] I was going to guess LC'sL, but the wry smiles at the Sci-fi question put me off...
[Phil] They were just the more imaginative members of the audience picturing the whole thing done in foil suits on a flying saucer.
For your pleasure: ABSTRACT
All together now... A human construct?
[Projoy] Human construct? YES.
A philosophy?
[Projoy] I think I've seen that website ;-)
To do with science?
[Projoy] You know, there is such a thing as being too imaginative.
[Phil] A philosophy? NO.
[Darren] Related to science? NO.
Connected with emotion?
Related to the arts?
[Darren] Connected with emotion? YES. (laughter from the audience)
[ImNotJohn] Related to the arts? YES. (more laughter)
An emotion?
[Darren] It least it was foil not fur ;-)
[Phil] An emotion? NO.
A type of comedy?
[Raak] A type of comedy? NO.
An action?
[Inkspot] An action? NO.
Connected with positive emotions?
[Projoy] Connected with positive emotions? YES. (another giggle from the audience)
Connected with sex?
Going by the giggles and titters.
Hm. Human construct. Connected with fetishes?
[Darren] Connected with sex? NO. (The audience is giggling because the last three YES answers, while technically correct, are all somewhat misleading. It's not a nice audience.)
[Projoy] Connected with fetishes? In the supernatural (not sexual) sense, YES.
To do with religion?
Is this specific to a particular culture?
Worship of some unusual object or event?
[Raak] To do with religion? NO, not really.
[Irouléguy] Specific to a particular culture? In its original incarnation, YES; in its modern incarnation, NO.
[Rosie] Worship of some unusual object or event? NO.

To clarify things a bit: the ABSTRACT in question experienced a shift in use and meaning over time. The connection with emotion and the supernatural apply only to the original version, not the current one.

(Next time I choose an object for AVMA, it'll be something simple like a tomato.)
Feng Shui?
[Chalky] Feng Shui? NO.
To do with language?
[Projoy] To do with language? YES. (the audience cheers)
To do with magic?
Swearing?
[Projoy] To do with magic? Originally, sometimes. Now, no.
[Rosie] Swearing? No.
A particular form of words?
Any medical connection?
[Projoy] Words? NO. [Rosie] Medical connection? NO.
Anything to do with casting out devils?
[Rosie] Casting out devils? NO.

I suspect that I have put people on the wrong track, so if anyone would like a hint, let me know.
Something ceremonial?
Far too early for a hint, yet.
Is the culture that this was originally specific to an Asian one?
[Darren] Ceremonial? NO.
[Irouléguy] From an Asian culture? NO.
An inscription?
[Rosie] Inscription? Sometimes, though not so often in the modern day.
To do with death?
An obituary?
An epitaph?
[Darren] To do with death? NO.
[ImNotJohn] An obituary? NO.
[Rosie] An epitaph? NO.
To do with war or the military?
scepticism?
[Quendalon] Rather than a hint - please can you do a summary. It may help us realign ourselves :-)
[Irouléguy] To do with war or the military? NO.
[Chalky] Skepticism? NO.
And now to summarize! I’ll also correct a couple of my own answers where I think I may have misread or misinterpreted your questions. So:

This abstract is a human construct. It was once specific to a particular culture, though not an Asian culture. It has to do with language, but it is not a particular form of words.

It is not an emotion, a philosophy, a type of comedy, an action, an epitaph or obituary, or Feng Shui.

It is not inherently connected to science, to swearing, to sex, to religion, to the worship of some unusual object or event, to medicine, to casting out devils, to death, to war or the military, or to skepticism.

Notably, the subject has experienced a shift in use over time. Originally, it had a connection with positive emotion, was often inscribed (in the sense of being etched into a solid surface), and was sometimes connected with magic. These all still apply when the subject is put to its original use. In its modern use, it has no connection with positive emotion or magic, and is still inscribed in the sense of being written down, though rarely (if ever) in the sense of being etched into a solid surface.
Is it writing?
A swastika?
Wait, not Asian. Nevermind.
Is it a symbol of some kind?
Is it Aboriginal?
[Darren] We've already established that it is something that is written; if you're asking if the subject is the overall concept of 'writing', then NO.
[Projoy] Is it a symbol of some kind? YES. (cheers from the audience)
[Dazed5] Is it Aboriginal... assuming you're talking about Australian aborigines here, then NO.
Might I find it on my keyboard somewhere?
A Greek letter?
[Projoy] I can't speak for your keyboard, but it's not on mine.
[Rosie] A Greek letter? NO.
Is it a rune?
Might I find it on the ASCII character map for a regular Western font?
Does it have a Unicode definition?
A trademark?
A hieroglyph ?
[Kim] Is it a rune? YES.
[Projoy] On the ASCII character map for a regular Western font? Uncertain, but I've checked several common fonts and haven't been able to find it.
[Raak] Does it have a Unicode definition? YES.
[Chalky] A trademark? NO.
[Inkspot] A hieroglyph? NO.
The Star of David?
[Raak] Star of David? NO.
Is it any sort of star shape?
[Raak] Not a star shape, no.
Does it have any completely enclosed areas in its shape (ie. any loops or closed polygonal components)?
[Darren] Does it have any completely enclosed areas in its shape? YES.
Triangle?
[irach] Is it a triangle? NO.
An ankh?
A cross of any sort?
Does it turn up in the regular Wingdings font?
Did it originate in the middle east?
[ImNotJohn] An ankh? NO.
[Raak] A cross of some sort? NO.
[Projoy] In Wingdings? I don't believe so.
[Inkspot] Did it originate in the Middle East? NO.

(You guys are drifting off the track; I suspect you're misreading one of the recent answers. Would you like me to provide clarification?)
From the Futhark?
Runic letter Sowilo?
[Projoy] Originally from the Futhark? Elder Futhark, YES. Younger Futhark, NO.
[Inkspot] Sowilo? NO.
(which I think is called odal or othalan)
<>< ?
(oooops)
From the Freyr/Freyja's Aett?
As opposed to the Heimdall's Aett or Tyr's Aett
[CdM] Odal/Othalan? NO.
[Inkspot] Freyr/Freyja's Aett? YES.
Thorn?
[Raak] Thorn? NO.
Kenaz (the leading light)?
Wunjo?
[irach] Kenaz? NO.
[Inkspot] Wunjo/Wynn? YES. (cheers from the crowd)

Over to you, Inkspot...
... and I haven't the foggiest what all that was about. :) heyho
Yes, that was painfully obscure. My apologies! All I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time. :-p
[Inkspot] If I were you, I'd select a steam engine.
*is an unapologetic obscurist*
from the home of Steam
A win there with a little help from others, and learnt a little about runes in the process.

So a Abstract with Animal and Vegetable connections

Anything to do with cookery?
Is the animal connection human?
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe?
[Raak]- no
[Chalky] - yes
[Kim] - no
out of practice
[Raak] - Anything to do with cookery? NO
[Chalky] - Is the animal connection human?YES
[Kim] - The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe? NO
To do with the arts?
just not a morning person
There is a Mineral connection so...
The clue should have read Abstract with Animal, Mineral and Vegetable connections

ImNotJohn - To do with the arts? NO
To do with sports?
[Raak] - To do with sports? NO
Is the animal connection a fictional human or humans?
[Irouléguy] - Is the animal connection a fictional human?YES ripple of applause from the audience
Does the fictional aspect account for the "abstract" part of the clue?
[Phil] - Does the fictional aspect account for the "abstract" part of the clue? YES A whispering murmur from the audience
Is the fictional aspect from a novel?
[Irouléguy] Is the fictional aspect from a novel? YES several members of the audience about to go to the bar for a shandy return to their seats
Was the novel written more recently than 1900?
Written since 1950?
Written by a British writer?
Are the vegetable and mineral bits mentioned in the title - or are they the paper and ink part of the novel?
[Quendalon] - Was the novel written more recently than 1900? YES
[Projoy] - Written since 1950? YES
[ImNotJohn] - Written by a British writer?NO
[Chalky] - Are the vegetable and mineral bits mentioned in the title - or are they the paper and ink part of the novel?
NO and YES to in the title and paper as the vegetable YES (had not considered the ink when setting the clue but yes it is printed with ink but was not part of the clue)
Written since 1980?
[Inkspot] Just to clarify: the VEGETABLE component is the paper, and the MINERAL component is part of the title?
[Quendalon] Written since 1980? Yes and NO wry smiles litter the audience

clarification:VEGETABLE component is the paper, and the MINERAL component is part of the title? YES
Is this a series of stories?
[Chalky] Is this a series of stories? YES loud applause from the audience
Spider Robinson's 'Callahan's bar' stories?
Just managed to track down the one-volume compendium - well pleased.
[Irouléguy]Spider Robinson's 'Callahan's bar' stories?NO an exited Oooooooooooh from the audience
Is the mineral stone?
[Raak]Is the mineral stone? NO
Is the mineral metal?
[Chalky]Is the mineral metal? YES cheers from the audience
Is the mineral gold?
Lord of the Rings?
The Book of Lost Tales?
Fits the 1980 thing better.
[Kim] Is the mineral gold?No
[Raak] Lord of the Rings?No
[Raak ] The Book of Lost Tales?No
the audience sit back back into their seats
Is it science fiction/fantasy?
[Raak] Is it science fiction/fantasy?YES the bell rings in the bar the audience quickly pile back into their seats
Is the fictional human that forms the "animal" component also part of the title?
[Quendalon]Is the fictional human that forms the "animal" component also part of the title? YES some argy-bargy in the audience as some laughing pedants are calling out NO
Just one human?
[Projoy] Just one human? YES the audience rise from their slumber
Is it a trilogy?
[Quendalon] Is it a trilogy? NO
Has it been made into a film?
Harry Harrison's 'Stainless steel rat' series?
Inspired by the answer to Quendalon's penultimate question.
[Raak] Has it been made into a film?NO

Irouléguy raucous cheers and foot stomping from the audience YES It is the Stainless Steel Rat from the series written by Harry Harrison. Over to you.
A series I've always meant to look at, and never got round to. Good game, good game! Our next is ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections.
Fictional?
Is the "animal" human?
Raak] Fictional? No
Quendalon] Is the "animal" human? Yes
Is this some class of people?
Connected with emotion?
Anarcho-syndicalism?
One day I'm going to be right
A lion's share?
Raak] Is this some class of people? No
Darren] Connected with emotion? Connected with, no; provoking, possibly...
ImNotJohn] Anarcho-syndicalism? There's a great day a-comin' - but not today
irach] A lion's share? See the answer to Quendalon
An event?
Is there more than one of it?
(Incidentally, feel free to answer "meaningless" to that if such an answer would be.)
Is the "animal" a specific human?
Does this involve an association of people?
Is it an office that a person can hold?
Inkspot] An event? *applause YES
Darren] Is there more than one of it? Yes, though there can only be one at a time.
Quendalon] Is the "animal" a specific human? Yes, but not necessarily the same one.
Rosie] Does this involve an association of people? *more applause* An association of people is a necessary but not sufficent condition for this.
Raak] Is it an office that a person can hold? *some quickly stifled giggles* No.
A ceremonial event?
A sporting event?
Is it connected to a date on the calender?
Is it an event with which people are generally pleased to be associated?
Raak] A ceremonial event? No
Chalky] A sporting event? No
Inkspot] Is it connected to a date on the calender? No
Darren] Is it an event with which people are generally pleased to be associated? Yes
Does it involve some common interest of the participants?
Raak] Does it involve some common interest of the participants? Sorry, I simmed. I'm going to answer 'no', as that's the most useful answer, I think.
A party?
Rosie] A party? No (neither sense)
Is it planned in advance?
A birth?
A birthday?
Darren] Is it planned in advance? Er...yes and no
ImNotJohn] A birth? No
Quendalon - A birthday? No
Connected with employment?
Connected with money?
Quendalon] Connected with employment? No
Darren] Connected with money? No
A school reunion?
Raak] A school reunion? No
Is it astronomical?
Inkspot] Is it astronomical? Startlingly, no
To do with the Internet?
Have most people experienced this at some point?
Raak] To do with the Internet? *applause* In practice, yes (though this could in theory happen offline as well).
Darren] Have most people experienced this at some point? No
A chatroom?
Associated with a particular website?
Rosie] A chatroom? No
Darren] Associated with a particular website? My experience of it is on one particular website, but I don't know if it originated there
Associated with a particular culture(s)?
To do with playing games on the Internet?
To do with MC websites?
A blind date?
Quendalon] Associated with a particular culture(s)? Broadly, yes
Raak - To do with playing games on the Internet? *applause YES
Darren - To do with MC websites? *louder applause, whistling and cheers* YES
Chalky - A blind date? No
mc5?
AVMA?
The game of Mornington Crescent?
I hope this doesn't blow a fuse, so to speak.
Raak - mc5? *stamping of feet, cries of 'bravo'* Yes
Darren] AVMA? *stunned silence from the audience, distracted by a replay of Paul Robinson's error on the giant screens above the stage* YES!
Rosie] The game of Mornington Crescent? *deflated sighs* No
The Morniverse?
Assuming that none of the preceding was the winning move.
Raak] The Morniverse? No.

Sorry, I was reading the preceding moves as prefaced by 'To do with...'. To clarify the over-enthusiastic audience response, the answer is to do with this site, specifically AVMA (it doesn't occur in any other current game on this site), though it almost certainly occurs on other websites, and could in theory occur in the realiverse.
An audience?
Raak] An audience? No
A correct guess?
Darren] A correct guess? *the audience holds its breath* Almost - the answer is a particular sort of correct guess.
A correct guess on the first move?
The answer to this question?
In danger of disappearing up its own logical fundament.
Darren - A correct guess on the first move? *older members of the audience are turning purple waiting to exhale* No
ImnotJohn - The answer to this question? It could be
An accidental correct guess?
Darren - An accidental correct guess? It could be
Hint - the initials have another, very different, meaning elsewhere in the Morniverse.
The winning move?
Rosie - The winning move? Yes, but... Not every winning move is one of these.
A lurker's victory?
*the audience exhales noisily, too breathless to cheer* YES - a lurker's victory it is (it seemed like a good idea when I set it). Darren, the baton's all yours.
This particular round is...
MINERAL
Begins with P?
[Irouléguy] Nice one. I did consider setting "the next answer" when I actually got a go, but chickened out ;)
[Tuj] Begins with P? One of the words does.
Is there just one of these?
[Raak] Just one of these? No.
Are there 2 words on the card?
[Tuj] Two words on the card? Indeed.
Does it occur in nature?
[Quendalon] Does it occur in nature? No.
Does it involve electricity?
Does it have any moving parts?
Is the mineral metal?
A frisbee?
Is it a man made mass produced item?
[Rosie] Does it involve electricity? Yes.
[Quendalon] Does it have any moving parts? Yes. (misleading?)
[ImNotJohn] Is the mineral metal? Not entirely.
[Irouléguy] No.
[Inkspot] Is it a man made mass produced item? Yes.
is the non-metal part a liquid?
[ImNotJohn] Is the non-metal part a liquid? No.
A buzzer?
Is the first of the words on the card "A"?
A pylon?
[Rosie] Buzzer? No.
[Raak] Is the first of the words "A"? No.
[Projoy] Pylon? No.
Is entertainment its primary purpose?
[Quendalon] Primary purpose=entertainment? No.
Is it connected with writing?
[Raak] Connected with writing? No.
Is it connected with travel?
Was it invented in the last hundred years?
[Quendalon] Is it connected with travel? Yes!
[Tuj] Was it invented in the last hundred years? Yes!
Parking meter?
[Quendalon] Parking meter? No.
To do with flying?
[Raak] To do with flying? No.
Does one take this on one's travels?
Is it a component of a larger object?
Was it invented before 1960?
To do with computers?
[Rosie] Does one take this on one's travels? Certain travels, yes.
[Quendalon] Is it a component of a larger object? No.
[Inkspot]Was it invented before 1960? No.
[Tuj] To do with computers? Well... yes, but, in a more meaningful sense, no.
Mobile phone?
[Irouléguy] Mobile phone? No.
Invented in the last decade?
[Tuj] Invented in the last decade? Probably not. (Sorry to be imprecise on that one, but although they've only become common recently I wouldn't be surprised if they'd existed in, say, the 1980s.)
Is it a container?
[Inkspot] Is it a container? No.
Is one of the words "portable"?
[Quendalon] Is one of the words "portable"? No.
Is the purpose of this device entertainment?
GPS Navigation system?
Does it involve superconductivity?
[Rosie] Purpose=entertainment? No. (See Quendalon's question earlier.)
[irach] GPS? No.
[Quendalon] Does it involve superconductivity? No.
An electronic device?
[Raak] Electronic device? Yes.
A digital camera?
A data projector?
[Rosie] Digital camera? No.
[Raak] Data projector? No.
A communication device?
Is it a conduit of some sort?
One of those fancy car keys?
Sorry about the imprecision - I drive a banger.
Is it required for travelling abroad?
A mobile phone?
[Raak] A communication device? No.
[Quendalon] A conduit of some sort? No. (Well, unless you meant in a very abstracted sense!)
[Rosie] Fancy car keys? No.
[Inkspot] Required for travelling abroad? No.
[Tuj] Mobile phone? No. (See Irouléguy's question earlier.)
Connected with road travel specifically?
[INJ] Connected with road travel specifically? No.
Is it something a traverrler would carry?
Biometric Passport?
A credit card?
[Inkspot] Is it something a traverrler would carry? Depends what a "traverrler" is.
[ImNotJohn] Biometric Passport? No.
[Rosie] Credit card? No.
Is it connected to hygiene?
Packing bags till the next game.
A "traverrler" is someone that ends up at the wrong destination.
[Quendalon] Is it connected to hygiene? No.
[Inkspot] I wasn't trying to be pedantic - I thought it might be a word I didn't know.
Is it connected to vehicles?
[Quendalon] Is it connected to vehicles? Definitely not.
A clock of some sort?
Connected with computer software?
[Raak] A clock of some sort? Part of it is, usually.
[Quendalon] Connected with computer software? Only in the sense that it contains some.
Time for a recap, methinks.
What we know so far:

It contains two words. One begins with P. Neither word is simply "a," or "portable."

It's a man-made mass produced electronic device, and there is more than one of it. It does not occur in nature. It has parts which move. Its construction involves metal (among other things), but no liquids. It is not a component of a larger object. It does not involve superconductivity. It was invented (as a whole item) some time after 1980, although the basic principles it uses were known long before that (that's a new hint). It usually includes a clock of some sort, and would contain a computer program within it.

It is not primarily for entertainment, nor is it connected with writing. It's nothing to do with hygiene.

It is connected with travel, but not flying or vehicles. You would take it on certain travels. It is not required for travelling abroad, nor is it specific to road travel.

It is not a frisbee, a buzzer, a pylon, a parking meter, a mobile phone, a container, a GPS navigation system, a digital camera, a data projector, a conduit, fancy car keys, a biometric passport, or a credit card.

Does the "P" stand for "personal"?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
A pedometer?
[Rosie] "P" stands for "personal"? No.
[Rosie] Smaller than a toaster? Yes.
[Raak] A pedometer? Yes!!!! (But that's not all. You've only got one of the words on the card. I'm looking for a pedometer with an extra feature.)
The second answer there was directed at Projoy, not Rosie. Sorry.
A digital pedometer?
A pedometer mounted in a shoe?
[Raak 1] Digital pedometer? Well, it is, but that's not the special feature I'm after.
[Raak 2] Mounted in a shoe? No.
A talking pedometer?
[Raak] Talking pedometer? YES!!!
So, it's over to Raak for the next round!
I never knew there were such things.

The next is MINERAL or VEGETABLE, with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it mass-produced?
A stairway to heaven?
Begins with P?
[Q] Mass-produced? No.
[I] Not a stairway to heaven.
[T] Does not begin with P.
Min or Veg = metal or wood?
Associated with a particular country or culture?
[R] Not metal/wood.
[C] Not associated with a particular country or culture.
Is it a liquid?
Is the mineral water?
[I, I] Not liquid, not water.
Does it have religious significance?
Does it have religious significance?
(Sorry, putting it in the right hole.)
[D] No religious significance.
(Ignore the fundamentalist crank in the audience raving to the contrary.)
Is it an item of clothing?
[C] Not clothing.
Is it an implement of some kind?
[K] Not an implement.
Any moving parts?
[I] No moving parts.
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
[Q] Not bigger than a breadbox.
Is it associated with a time of the year?
[I] Not associated with a time of the year.
Is it edible?
[C] Not edible.
Clarifying a previous answer re metal/wood: never any metal, possibly some wood.
Is the possible mineral stone?
[I] Not stone.
A gas/plasma?
We've eliminated metal, liquid, stone - what else is there.....
[I] Not gas or plasma.
There are plenty of other forms of mineral.
Does this occur naturally?
[I] Does not occur naturally.
ship in a bottle?
[j] Not a ship in a bottle.

Ready for a clue yet?

Plastic?
[R] Yes!
Is there only one of these?
(I assume mineral/vegetable because plastic can be made from either of these)
[I] There are many.
Actually, I was thinking of plastics as made primarily from petrochemicals (i.e. mineral), although having checked I see that vegetable substances are still used..
Is it flexible?
Odd that it's plastic but is not mass produced...
[Q] It is flexible.
A credit or debit card?
Is it connected to the arts?
[R] (hopeful murmurs in the audience) Not a credit or debit card.
[Q] Not connected to the arts.
Is it essentially flat?
i.e. 2 of the dimensions are several times greater than the third.
[I] It is flat.
Used in a game?
[I] Not used in a game.
A loyalty card?
A mouse mat?
A driver's license?
[C] (more interested murmurs from the audience) Not a loyalty card, or a driver's licence.
[I] (stony stares) Not a mouse mat.
Is it a card one would need to sign?
Is it used for identification?
Is it decorative?
[C] It might be.
[I] (singing and dancing breaks out) YES.
[INJ] No.
An identity card?
Always go for the obvious, I say.
[P] Papers please? YES. An identity card.
OK, a fairly straightforward one: ANIMAL
Mammal?
human?
Hmmm. An interesting answer to the mass-produced? question.
Here's another thought - when does vegetable become mineral if we talk about say peat, lignite, coal?
[INJ] An ID card may be produced in large numbers, but by definition it cannot be mass-produced. I'd classify peat as vegetable, lignite and coal as mineral. A seashel is mineral with animal connections.
Alive?
[Q] Mammal - YES
[INJ] Human - YES
[Raak] Alive - N/A
[Raak] Actually, I'll very slightly shift the answer as otherwise the category is wrong (i.e. it would be ABSTRACT too), so I would now answer YES.
A head of state?
Some kind of job title?
[Queen, er, Quen] Head of state - NO
[Toozh] Job title - NO
[Tuj] Oh, and just to save time, it doesn't begin with a P.
The man on the Clapham omnibus?
A particular individual?
male?
[Raak] I possess several mass-produced identity cards.
Connected to religion?
[Rosie] Claphambusman - NO
[Ig] An individual - NO
[INJ] Male? Hmmm, a not very convinced YES
[Ink] Religious connection - NO
Fictional?
A generic description?
[Ig] Fictional - NO
[Rosie] Generic - NO
Begins with R?
[Projoy] Your free information gives me a bonus question!
[Tuj] Begins with R - NO :)
A particular group of individuals?
[Tuj] Group of individuals - NO
Sperm?
[Quen] Spermatozoa - NO
MC related?
[Tuj] MC related - NO, not really
A body part or parts?
[Ig] body part - YES *applause*
The brain (going by the earlier "not very convinced YES")?
A body part of a specific person?
My Left Foot?
[Ink] Brain - NO
[Raak] specific person - YES
[INJ] Your left foot - NO
Is this a proverbially useless thing?
A transplanted organ?
[Raak] not at all proverbial, although arguably somewhat useless
[Inkspot] transplanted organ - NO
A limb?
[Ig] A limb - NO
Does the arguable uselessness stem from the incompetence with which the specific individual uses this body part?
[Rosie] Does the arguable... NO
A vestigial organ?
Is the organ's owner British?
Appendix?
[Raak] vestigial organ - NO
[Ig] British owner - YES
[ir] Coda - NO
A public figure?
[Raak] public figure - NO
My arse?
My Arse my arse.
Someone's arse?
Foucault's Pendulum?
*snigger*
Is the first word on the card a pronoun?
[Rosie/Ig] Nobody's arse
[Kim] Big, swinging dangly thing - NO
[Tuj] Pronoun appears in the answer? NO
*hint - I only made it belong to someone in particular to stop it having to be classified as abstract*
Somebody's bald patch?
Is it in/on the upper half of the body?
Is it connected to one of the senses?
Is it an implant of some kind?
[Raak] Bald patch - NO
[Ig] Upper half - YES (yay, deductive questioning!)
[Ink] connected to a sense - well, YES, but not in the way I suspect you mean. It's not a sense organ.
[Chalky] Implant - NO
Is it above the collar bone?
Would it be normally visible, if one were in this person's presence and not on intimate terms with them?
Could it be removed without doing permanent harm?
Does this person have a particular connection to you?
Is it smaller than an egg cup?
Are you the person who is attached to this body part?
[Ink] Above collar bone - NO
[Raak] visible - NO
[INJ] Could it be removed without permanent harm - depends a bit on your definition of harm, but essentially YES
[Ig] A connection to me? YES
[Chalky] Smaller than an egg cup - NO
[Chalky again] Am I attached? YES *applause*
Your spleen?
[Raak] My spleen - NO *collective intake of breath
Your tonsils?
[Ig] Tonsils - NO (as a matter of fact, I parted company with those some 26 years ago).
Is the answer an idiomatic phrase?
Gallbladder?
[Rosie] Not idiomatic
[irach] Projoy's Gallbladder - YES! - I was originally going to just go with "the human gallbladder" but quickly realised that in terms of specific/generic questions that was going to be more trouble that it's worth. *hands the baton to irach*
Here we go again.... The next one is simply ANIMAL.
Human?
[Quendalon] Human? Yes.
Alive?
[Chalky] No, not alive. Dead as a doornail.
Male?
[INJ] Male? Yes.
Born in the last 500 years?
[Raak] No, born earlier than 500 year ago.
European?
[Inkspot] Yes, European.
Regal?
[Projoy] Surely "Projoy's gallbladder" begin's with a P? And it can't be "my gallbladder" as you said there was no pronoun on the card...
[Tuj]. Yes. Certainly of regal stature.
Charlemagne?
A royal?
[Tuj] I was using my real name on the card :P
British?
Was he ugly?
[Quendalon] Not Charlemagne.
[Irouleguy] Not a royal.
[Darren] No, not British.
[Chalky] Ugly? Not that I know of, or in historical depictions. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, anyway.
Nostradamus?
Begins with P?
[Projoy] :D perfect answer
...unless you're bluffing...
Middle Eastern?
[Chalky] Not Nostradamus.
[Tuj] No "P" beginnings.
[Rosie] Not Middle Eastern.
An author?
Famous for an invention/discovery?
born before 1000CE?
An artist?
[Raak] Not an author.
[Tuj} Not famous for an invention or discovery
[INJ] Born before 1000 CE? Yes.
[Inkspot] Not an artist.
A north european?
A religious leader?
[Inkspot] Not Northern European.
[Chalky] Not a religious leader.
Was he born after 43 AD?
Julius Caesar?
[Inkspot] No, born before 43AD.
[Rosie] Et tu, Rosie? You are correct!!! YES!!! Julius Caesar it is!
Heavens to Murgatroyd, I've won! *Lies down for a few minutes*

That's better. This is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections. Only very tangentially associated with steam engines, and then only a few types. Hope that narrows the field a bit.

Is the animal connection a bird?
Bravo.
Phoenix rising from the ashes?
Is the animal connection human?
(Tuj) - No bird connection
irach - Imaginative, but wrong, alas
(Projoy) Can be a human connection, but certainly not necessarily.
Perhaps we should forget about the very tangential association with the iron horse, which is not helpful, and which I'll explain at the end.
Connected with the arts?
(Quendalon) - Most definitely not connected with the arts.
An invention?
(Raak) - Not an invention.
Connected with mathematics?
(Projoy) - No connection with mathematics.
A human invention?
(Tuj) Not any kind of invention. See Raak's question.
A process?
A group of animals?
(Quendalon) - Not really, but a process, in the broad sense, is involved.
(Irouléguy) - Not a group of animals.
Connected with movement?
Begins with P?
[Rosie] Sorry for wasting your time with that. I'll learn to read.
(Quendalon) - Not connected with movement. *audience bursts into laughter*
Something to do with death?
Sleep?
(Raak) - Nothing to do with death.
(Quendalon) - Not sleep.
Is this fictional?
(Irg) - Not fictional.
A turn of phrase?
Was my last qeustion so predictable as to be ignored?
Is the animal connected to a particular part of tthe world?
(Tuj) Sorry - all I saw was your apology, now it's my turn. Does not begin with P.
(Inkspot) - No regional connection.
(Tuj) - Not a turn of phrase.
A human construct?
Is the animal connection a human?
[Rosie] I think I should stop bothering you - I'm jst confusing you and the answer to my question's always no :P
(CdM) - No, not a human construct.
(Tuj) - This question, too, was asked early on by Projoy.
Connected with biology?
(Quendalon) - Yes, biology is involved.
Is the non-human animal a particular animal?
Connected with the absence of movement?
(Irg) - No, not a particular animal.
(Raak) - Yes, connected with absence of movement. *applause, and some smiles, from the audience*
An action taken by an animal?
Dreams?
Does the animal connection refer to a specific attribute or behaviour of the animal?
(Qunedalon) - No, not an action.
(Raak) - Not dreams.
(irach) - No, not an attitude or behaviour on the part of the animal.
Connected with food?
(Quendalon) - Connected with food? Yes.
A pig that wants to be eaten?
A diet?
Ruminating?
Bringing home the bacon?
(Quendalon) - Not a diet.
(Irg) - Not ruminating, but the closest yet.
(irach) - Not bringing home the bacon.
Digestion?
*ahem*
Farting?
(Quendalon) - Not digestion.
(Raak) - Not "ahem" if I read you right.
(irach) - Not farting.
Constipation?
CONSTIPATION! Irouléguy has it! (The answer, I mean). Well done. The Lactulose is handed over to YOU.
Thanks, Rosie. WOO-HOO! On the throne again, so to speak. Our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT again, but no connection with the previous answer (well, almost no connection…)
Is the animal connection human?
Quendalon] Is the animal connection human? Yes

Rosie] What was the steam engine connection?
A single animal?
I gave up on asking Rosie questions, I wasn't very good at it... Sorry Rosie.
A specific named human?
Tuj] A single animal? No
irach] A specific named human? *applause* Yes and no
Fictional?
An expression?
A society of some sort?
Is the human alive today?
(Irouléguy) I'd just been re-reading an autobiography of an outstanding engineer who described a very numerous and apparently popular class of engine has having a "thoroughly constipated front end" (sic), i.e. the exhaust passages were too long and tortuous and much energy was absorbed in just getting rid of the used steam. I'd always thought these locos were crap and I only found out near the end of the steam era, when this book was published, that this was true. Not much relevance to AVMA, as you can see.
Tuj] Fictional? No
Quendalon] An expression? Gordon Bennett! No
Chalky] A society of some sort? *murmuring among the audience* No is the most useful answer
Rosie] Is the human alive today? No and yes (to be read in conjunction with the answer to irach's question).
'crap locos' - well, I got to 'farting', by thinking of the Puffing Billy, so there is a sort of connection.
A role that is filled, at any given moment, by a specific named human?
Connected with religion?
CdM] A role that is filled, at any given moment, by a specific named human? No
Inkspot] Connected with religion? *some giggling in the audience No
A group of people with something in common?
Chalky] A group of people with something in common? *applause YES
Is the group of people composed of both sexes?
Connected to sport?
Do these people engage in some rather dubious activity?
Are these people related by blood?
irach] Is the group of people composed of both sexes? Ye-es, though almost all male
Inkspot] Connected to sport? No
Rosie] Do these people engage in some rather dubious activity? *giggling from sections of the audience* Depends on your definition... No is the more useful answer.
Quendalon] Are these people related by blood? No
Connected with sexual activities?
Did it start in a particular country?
Does the common activity involve drinking?
Quendalon] Connected with sexual activities? *prolonged sniggering from a section of the audience* Activities, no.
Inkspot] Did it start in a particular country? Yes, though there's some dispute as to which country it was.
irach] Does the common activity involve drinking? It might do, but that's not the primary link.
Did it start before 1900?
Inkspot] Did it start before 1900? No
Connected with the military?
A charity organisation?
Quendalon] Connected with the military? No
Inkspot] A charity organisation?
Do they have a medical condition/syndrome in common?
Chalky] Do they have a medical condition/syndrome in common? No
Is this a commercial activity in any way?
Rosie] Is this a commercial activity in any way? Yes - some of the people who do this will get paid for it.
It is likely to involve a journey of some kind?
Is it connected to a time of year?
Kim] It is likely to involve a journey of some kind? Only a circular one ;-)
Inkspot] Is it connected to a time of year? No
Does it take its name from a specific human?
To do with the Arts?
Anuything to do with vehicles?
Quendalon] Does it take its name from a specific human? *some cheering* Yes
Inkspot] To do with the Arts? *more cheering* Yes
Tuj] Anything to do with vehicles? *dead silence* No
Associated with the musical arts?
An exhibition?
irach] Associated with the musical arts? Yes
Rosie] An exhibition? No
A male voice choir?
Chalky - A male voice choir? Dim
A rock band?
irach] A rock band? *some applause* No
The Billy Cotton Band?
Wakey-wakeeee.
(Irg) - re answer to Chalky; I think that should be Nag'dy ( = no, it isn't), if I read you right. Dim means "no" in the sense of "absence of", eg dim o arian, "no (of) money". Diwedd y wers. :-)
Rosie] Billy Cotton? No
Welsh lesson] Thanks - obviously I'm the dim one.
Some sort of popular beat combo, m'lud?
An orchestra?
Does the group still exist?
A Big Band/Dance Band?
(Irg) Well, I wouldn't say that. The problem is that there is no single word for either yes or no in Welsh. You either repeat or negate the verb. Diwedd yr ail wers. (Projoy) You must be older than you look. :-)
Did the group form before 1990?
Projoy] Some sort of popular beat combo, m'lud? No - see irach's earlier question
Botherer] An orchestra? Good to see you here! No
irach - Does the group still exist? It's not a group
Rosie] A Big Band/Dance Band? No. Thanks for the explanation. Interestingly Putonghua Chinese (Mandarin as it's often known) does much the same.
Inkspot - Did the group form before 1990? See earlier answers
Title of a piece of music?
Alexander;
Alexander'S Ragtime Band?
Inkspot] Title of a piece of music? No
irach - Alexander's Ragtime Band? No
Time for a summary? The answer is a group of people with something in common, mostly male. The 'something in common' has connection with rock music, and takes its name from a specific human, but it's not a group. Questions about this involving religion, sexual activities, and being dubious have all drawn giggles or sniggers from the audience. It's not a relationship by blood, or connected with the military (though there was a connection once - sorry, should have noted that earlier), or a charity organisation. It's sometimes done for money, and it may well involve drinking. There's no connection with a particular time of year, and only a jokey connection with journeys.
Writing all that out makes me think that it's glaringly obvious, but perhaps I shouldn't be cruel ;)
Elvis impersonators?
Rosie - Elvis impersonators? YES! So as Rosie was the question-setter before me, the baton is returned to sender.
(Irouléguy) - Actually it was the Lactulose I handed you and you are gracious enough not to hand it back, though I hope you haven't drunk it. I'm told it's rather persuasive.
Right, this one is ABSTRACT, and absolutely nothing to do with steam locos.
Can it be proven by science?
Sorry Rosie if the question is a bit broad, but what I mean is something like magetism or a black hole.
Is there a human element to it?
(Inkspot) - It probably could, but the answer to your question as you intend it is NO.
(irach) - Human element? YES.
Is there a mathematical element to it?
A philosophical idea?
(Quendalon) - No mathematical element.
(Raak) - Not a philospohical idea.
Connected to the brain?
An arrangement of concrete things?
(CdM) - Not connected to the brain.
(Raak) - Not an arrangement of concrete things. You mean physical, I assume.
Is it unique?
(Rosie) So there's a human element, but no Animal connection?
(Quendalon) - Hmm, difficult. Let's say each one is. But that's not very helpful. It needs humans for this abstract thing to manifest itself, so there is an Animal connection, an omission on my part.
Begins with a P?
Sin?
Rosie] Thanks :)
An activity?
(Tuj) - Does not begin with a P.
(Irouléguy) - Nice thought, but not sin. What would I know about that?
(Raak) - Not an activity.
Connected with the body?
Is it connected with the arts?
(Quendalon) - Not connected with the body.
(Kim) - Connected with the arts? It can be on occasions.
Connected with emotion?
Anything to do with the weather?
(Quendalon) - NO! Er, sorry, no connection with emotion.
(Chalky) - Nothing to do with weather.
Is the arts connection (when it arises) limited to one branch of the arts?
Connected with the occult?
(Kim) One or two branches of the arts at most. The connection is not a vital part of this, but occurs.
(Chalky) - Not connected with the occult.
Connected with sound?
(Quendalon) - Connected with sound? - Yes
Is the sound musical?
(irach) - Sometimes can be but not essentially.
Is it to do with the quality of sound?
Connected with the human voice?
To do with poetry?
(Inkspot) - Quality of sound? Yes, interpreting "quality" fairly broadly.
(Quendalon) - Yes, connected with the human voice. *considerable applause*
(irach) - Nothing to do with poetry.
An accent?
A glo'al stop?
Shouting?
(Raak) - Yes, an accent. *wild cheering from audience, who think it's all over, but it's not, quite.*
(Irouléguy) - No' a glo''al stop.
(Inkspot) - Not shouting.
A Welsh accent?
Received Pronunciation?
A Dixie Southern drawl?
(Raak) - Daw' be daft, mun.
(Inkspot) - Not RP.
(irach) - Dixie? - Nope.

The answer is A something Accent.

A French accent?
A grave accent?
An accent from the British Isles?
(irach) - Not a French accent.
(INJ) - Imaginative, but gravely in error.
(Projoy) - A British accent? - Could be, certainly.
A foreign accent?
[irach] Relative to where? :P
A posh accent?
Is the accent from a particular city?
(irach) - It could be, to a good ear.
(Irouléguy) - Good heavens no, dear boy.
(Inkspot) - Not from a particular city.
A northern accent?
"Lots of planets have a North" (Christopher Eccelstone as Dr Who)
(Inkspot) No, but a northern accent is an example of this.
Specifically an accent of the English language?
(Quendalon) - No, not specifically English.

Could I nudge people gently away from the particular.

A nasal accent?
A local accent?
A regional accent?
A fake accent?
(Projoy) - Might be.
(Raak) - Not fake.
(Chalky) Not local, but so close, since KIM has it! Well done. Your go.
Ee, bah gum, etc, etc.
Jolly dee. OK, this one is MINERAL.
Precious?
Man made?
[Raak] No.
[Inkspot] No.
A specific individual object?
[Raak] Yes.
WARNING: even yes/no answers can potentially be misleading.
Could you lift it?
Simply to rule out an anarcho-syndicalist-driven steam locomotive.
Is it a place?
Is it on Earth?
Bigger than a telephone box?
[Inkspot] Difficult. On balance I would have to say...No.*some murmurs of interest from the audience*
[Irouléguy] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.
Is it a geographical feature?
Is it a geological feature?
Has it been in existence for at least the last two centuries?
A single specific object in the generic sense (in the same way as, say, "a stone")?
[Irouleguy] Yes.
[Quendalon] Yes.
[Chalky] No.
[Projoy] No.
A mountain range?
Is the mineral some form of water?
Made of sand?
[Inkspot] No.
[Raak] No.
[Projoy] No.
A geographic/geological feature at one specific terrestrial location?
Connected with volcanic activity?
[Irach] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.
*The audience senses a build up of momentum (or pressure?).*
Surtsey?
In the Northern Hemisphere?
Paricutin?
A fault line?
Krakatoa?
[Rosie] No.
[Quendalon] No.
[irach] No.
[Inkspot] No.
and
[Irouléguy] No.
In africa?
Is the answer the name of a volcano?
[Inkspot] No.
[Raak] No.
In Asia?
The lake of mud in eastern Java?
Which doesn't appear to have a name, according to the BBC.
a tectonic plate?
[Inkspot] No.
[Irouléguy] No. *audience gets quite interested*
[Projoy] No.
Is it solid?
Krakatoa?
In Austrailia?
[Quendalon] Yes.
[Rosie] I refer the Hon. Gntlmn to the answer I gave Irouléguy a few moves ago.
[Inkspot] Not in Austrailia (sic)
An island?
Hang me for a typo: guilty as charged
Is it the product of a volcanic eruption?
[Quendalon] Yes.
[Irouléguy] Yes.
The new island that emerged this year in Tonga between Kao and Late?
Bugger - simmed
Excellent set-piece work by Quendalon and Irouléguy, but Raak gets in at the near post and nods it in. The answer is indeed the new island that has appeared in the South Pacific recently. Well done, Raak, better luck next time to Irouleguy and Quendalon.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2006/11/14/asia/AS_GEN_Tonga_New_Island.php by the way.
So they are still making real estate!

The next is ABSTRACT, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.

Begins with a P?
[Tuj] One day, an answer will begin with a P. That day is not yet.
Sweating aubergines?
Anarcho-syndicalist vegetable stir-fry?
One day, the answer will be Anarcho-syndicalist something-or-other.
[I] No. Er, is that a face pyjama?

[K] That day too is yet far off.

A painting?
[R] Not a painting.
Is it a character from a fictional work?
[K] Not a character from a fictional work.
Connected with the arts?
A figure of speech?
[Q] Not the arts.
[T] Not a figure of speech.
Is the vegetable wood?
[R] Face pyjama? No, just a cooking technique.
[I] Can be wood.
Man-made?
Does this have strong religious connections?
Is it unique?
[R] Man-made.
[D] No strong religious connection.
[Q] Not unique.
A geographical feature?
[C] Not a geographical feature.
A building?
Connected with the sciences?
[C] Not a building.
[K] Nothing to do with science.
(The audience is in a coma.)
Is it a generic name of a product?
eg Hoover
[I] Not a generic name.
Is it usually found in the home?
Is it a physical object?
[I] It can be found in the home.
[I] Yes, a physical object.
Anything to do with food or drink?
The Abstract nature of this object baffles me.
Anything to do with gardening?
Is this an object from a fictional work?
[Rosie] Not food or drink.
Hint: The V and M are what it is made of, the A is the abstract thing it embodies.
[I] Not gardening.
[C] (The audience opens one eye.) Not fictional.
Is this a kit of some sort, like an Airfix Model?
Is it a tool of some kind?
Connected with writing?
The hearth?
[C] Not a kit.
[R] Not a tool.
[Q} Yes! Writing has something to do with it!
[i] Not a hearth.
A document (paper and ink being the vegetable and mineral components)?
[i] Yes! A document. (The audience opens all their other eyes.)
A lease?
A contract?
Does it involve finance?
[i] Not a lease.
[CdM] Not a contract.
[R] Yes, it involves finance.
Is it a form of currency?
A will?
[Q] Not currency.
[R] YES! A last will and testament. Over to you.
(Raak) Mm, I s'pose I ought to make one. Well, it can wait because there are far more important things in life, like the next subject, which is ABSTRACT.
I still can't work our why A Will - which to me is a tangible object - should be classified as Abstract - but am happy to be corrected :-)
correction - our/out
[Chalky] I'm somewhat uncertain what should count as Abstract. What makes the thing a will is the non-physical meaning of what is written on it. On the other hand, a will generally is a single physical document, unlike, say, a book, which has an abstract existence apart from any of its individual copies.
(Raak, Chalky) I instinctively thought of a will as abstract because of its content. After all, it could be stored on a computer even if a physical document is a legal requirement. AHEM - there can be no such ambiguity about the present subject. AHEM.
Does it start with the letter P?
The Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation?
Chalky, Raak, Rosie] There's also the distinction between a specific person's will, and the idea of a last will and testament. I didn't find it misleading, which is what I think matters.
Connected with the arts?
(Quendalon) - Does not start with P.
(Irg) - A miss of some magnitude, I fear.
(Kim) - Not connected with the arts.
A single word on the card?
[Quendalon] Daft question :P
Is is a human construct?
Connected with mathematics?
(Tuj) - Two words, including the indefinite article.
(Kim) - Not a human construct.
(Quendalon) - Not connected with mathematics.
Is it something people do?
(Raak) - Not something people do.
Is it visible?
Is it something to do with the weather?
(Irg) - Not visible *laughter from audience*
(Kim) - Nothing to do with the weather.
Can it be heard?
(Inkspot) - Cannot be heard *further cruel sniggers from audience*
Can it be perceived by any of the senses?
Is it part of the electromagnetic spectrum?
Is it an absence of something?
(Kim) - Yes, it can be perceived.
(Inkspot) - Not part of the electromagnetic spectrum.
(Irouléguy) - Yes. *loud applause*
Space -- the final frontier?
A black hole?
(Quendalon) - Not space.
(Tuj) - Not a black hole.
Conspicuous by its absence?
Vacuum?
Related to living things?
irach has it because VACUUM it is! Strictly "A vacuum", but that's near enough. Well done, sir, and over to you.
This one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL Connections.
A document of some sort?
[Raak] Not a document.
Is it ritualised linguistic routine? (e.g., a metaphor, simile, cliche)
[rab] Yes. It is a type of cliched verbal expression.
Is the animal human?
Is there a number in it?
The Ashes?
[Inkspot] Yes. The animal component is most often human in this context. [Quendalon]. No. No number in it. [Rosie] Not the ashes.
Is the mineral an artefact?
Pissing in the wind?
A wild stab in the dark
People in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses?
Bull shit?
Is it a proverb?
[Irouleguy] No. Not an artifact
[rab] Not pissing, in the wind, or otherwise.
[Projoy] Not a wild stab in the dark.
[kim] Not stone houses or glasses
[Lib] No, not bull shit (or any other animal scat).
[Raak] No. Not a proverb.
Does the expression describe the human (or animal)?
[Rosie] It does not describe the entire human (or animal), but a part thereof.
Pull the other one?
Is the mineral a liquid?
To do with the face?
Is it complimentary?
[Irouleguy] No.
[Inkspot] The mineral is not liquid.
[Raak] No. Not the face.
[Rosie] Yes. It is complimentary.
Diamond Geezer?
Is the mineral metal?
[irach] A very deadpan "no, not the face" that.
[Tuj] Hurray!!!Yes, a metal! (a little less deadpan, I hope) ;)
[Lib] Not a Diamond Geezer.
An iron constitution?
A heart of gold?
Goldfinger?
[rab] Pretty much hijacked my line of thought there.
[irach] Fantastic emotional control and range, congrats.
A mind like a steel trap?
[Quendalon] No. No mind, no steel trap.
[Raak] Not an iron constitution.
[rab] You are correct! A heart ofgold it is! Over to you.
Wow...
Err, right. This one's MINERAL, with possible animal and vegetable connections.
Is it a place?
Man-made?
Metallic?
[Irroul] No.
[Rosie] Yes.
[Tuj] No.
Made from stone?
Not stone, no.
Portable?
Yes.
Made of plastic?
[Raak] *applause* - its plasticity is an integral part of its being, yes. (And I'm still wondering if plastic is vegetable, rather than mineral, but no matter now).
[rab] After being turned into oil over tens of millions of years, I'd file it as mineral, same as limestone.
The plastic rings around a six-pack of beer?
Is it a manufactured item for use in the home?
Is it for containing food or drink?
[Irroul] No.
[Inkspot] Manufactured yes, but I don't think its use is restricted to the home.
[Raak] *audience fidgets* Not containing, no.
You put food on top of it?
Plastic cutlery?
[Raak] *mild applause* but no.
[Irroul] Nope.
cling film?
Does its essential plasticity necessarily imply that it is essentially flexible?
Is it intended for human consumption?
[Inkspot, Quendalon] No
[Rosie] I suppose it could be flexible, but that's not an essential characteristic.
A drinking straw?
Is it a tool of some kind?
[Quendalon, Rosie] No.
Is it used for carrying things?
Is it an implement?
[Inkspot, Kim] No

I think we should look back to the last positive audience reaction.

Is it bigger than a breadbox?
No.
Has it always been made of plastic?
A toothpick?
Is it associated with a particular type of food?
Plastic chopstick?
[Inkspot] Tricky one. The type I'm thinking of is very much definitely made of plastic, but there are versions that perform a similar function that aren't.
[Rosie, irach] No.
[Irouléguy] YES!
Is it used during the preparation of the food?
Is it the outer coating on Edam cheese?
[Inkspot] To say "yes" would probably throw you completely off-scent; but I think that it's far to say that it might play a small part in the preparation of a particular type of food.
[Kim] No.
Is it associated with a particular country?
Is the food linked to a particular event or ceremony?
[Inkspot] No.
[Irouléguy] *applause* YES!
The plastic figures on the top of a wedding cake?
On my card it says A plastic bride and groom but I think CdM's close enough to get it.
Wow. I actually didn't expect that to be right, because of the "preparation" question. But I do see what you mean.

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
Animal human?
Animal connection = Human? Yes.
A trait or characteristic?
Trait? No.
Fictional?
Fictional? No.
A character of myth or legend?
Mythical or legendary? No.
Connected to science/technology?
Connected to science/technology? Yes.
Something named after someone?
Something named after someone? Yes *applause*
A unit of measurement?
Is it Bluetooth?
[UK] I suggest you get yourself to a dentist ASAP.
Is it to do with the internet?
Unit of measurement? No.
Bluetooth? No.
Internet-related? No.
A theory?
(As in an entire theoretical framework, rather than a result or phenomenon)
A theory? No.
Is it a constant?
two short Plancks?
A constant? No.
A phenomenon?
Schrödinger's cat?
Is it a sound?
The sound of one hand clapping?
Phenomenon? Hmmmm... my initial response was no, but I think it is fair to say yes, in a way.
S's cat? No ... and yes ... and no ... and yes .. and *checks*. NO.
A sound? No.
A zen sound? Not even.
Someone's Effect?
Astronomical?
Nash equilibrium?
Is it visible?
Someone's Effect? The word "effect" does not appear on the card, and I think the best answer is No.
Astronomical? No.
Nash Equilibrium? The best response is No.
Visible? *audience goes "oooooh"*. I think I have to say Yes and No. Either 'Yes" or 'No' could be justified as an answer, and by the same token either would be misleading.
A Schelling point?
Cerenkov radiation?
Schelling point? No. (the audience communicates by a subtle combination of laughter, applause and silence that, had this been the correct answer, they would have given some recognition to 'Nash equilibrium')
Cerenkov radiation? No.
A hologram?
Connected with economics?
Concerned with atomic particle physics?
A hologram? No.
Connected with economics? Isn't everything? But, otherwise, No.
Connected with particle physics? Isn't everything? But, otherwise, No.
Is it temprature dependant?
Anything to do with meteorology?
Was the eponymous person alive before the 20th century?
Now we are getting somewhere
Temperature dependent? Yes.
To do with meteorology? Yes. *applause*
Before 20th century? Yes.
To do with Torricelli, vacuum and barometry?
The Bergeron process?
The Doppler effect?
I think that is close enough for me to award a mercury-filled baton to irach, even though it was not posed as a guess. The answer on the card was "A Torricelli (or Torricellian) Vacuum".

The subject was prompted by the fact that I almost guessed "vacuum" for Rosie's recent AVMA about a day before it was correctly guessed (no, really, I did), but then rejected it on the grounds that Rosie had claimed no connection to the weather. :-) (That's not intended as a criticism, btw; on reflection I thought that Rosie's answer was probably right.)
Let me then step in to fill the void... The next one is simply ANIMAL
Human?
[Raak] Not human.
A dodo?
[CdM] No, not a dodo.
alive?
Vertebrate?
[Lib] By alive, if you mean non-extinct, yes.
[Kim} Yes. A vertebrate.
A species?
[Irouleguy] Yes, a species.
Mammal?
(CdM) Can't see why a vacuum is temperature dependent, which is why I went for the the rather obscure Bergeron process, which certainly is. Not to worry. :-)
[Rosie] Yes, a mammal.
Found (in the wild) on more than two continents?
[Rosie] Well, I was thinking about the fact that the density of the mercury (or whatever) is affected by temperature, and hence so is the size of a Toricelli vacuum. (I think. This is your area of expertise, not mine). I certainly agree that I should have at least indicated that the connection to temperature was minor.
Is it amphibian?
Tree-dwelling?
Water-dwelling?
Carnivorous?
Giraffe?
A long-necked meat-eating animal that lives in trees and water and swims?
Meerkats?
[Inkspot] Yes, it is semi-aquatic.
[rab] No, not arboreal.
[Kim] Not exclussively water-dwelling, see response to Inkspot.
[Raak] Not carnoivorous. Rather the contrary.
[Lib] Not a giraffe. A long way off.
[CdM] Not a long necked or meat eating animal that lives in trees. It does enter water and swim, though.
[Irouleguy] Not meerkats.
A hippopotamus?
A beaver?
[Raak] Not a hippopotamus.
[Kim] Not an eager (or disinterested) beaver.
Smaller than a telephone box?
[Raak] Yes, smaller than a telephone box.
Smaller than a bread bin?
[Lib] No. Bigger than a bread bin.
A primate?
[Rosie] Not a primate (Are there any semi-aquatic primates?)
[Rosie] Not a primate (Are there any semi-aquatic primates?)
Furry?
A mink?
A vole?
BTW, CdM' s "Found (in the wild) on more than two continents?" hasn't been answered.
A reptile?
[Raak] As a mammal it does have fur, but not particularly known for its furriness.
[rab] Not a mink
[Irouleguy] Not a vole.
[CdM] Found in th wild, but on only one continent.
[Kim] Not a reptile. It's already been established that it is a mammal.
Duck-billed platypus?
[CdM] Not a platypus.
Found in Africa?
Found in America?
[Inkspot] Not Africa.
[Kim] Not natively found wild in the USA, but yes, is found in one of the two Americas.
The capybara?
[Irouleguy] Yes, Capybara, it is! Over to you...
A win largely down to Wikipedia, in all honesty. Our next is MINERAL and VEGETABLE and contains ANIMAL.
Coal?
A mass produced manufactured item?
The Tardis?
Raak - Coal No. Surely coal is either mineral or vegetable - can it be both?
Inkspot - A mass produced manufactured item? Yes and no - not mass-produced
Kim - The Tardis? a ripple of applause No
A Dalek?
A Cyberman?
rab - A Dalek? No
Raak - A Cyberman? No
the applause unripples
I should add that there's also an abstract dimension to this.
Does it exist only in science fiction?
rab] Does it exist only in science fiction? No - there isn't a science fiction connection (or if there is, it's incredibly faint).
Can one live in it?
A telephone box?
Was the first one made before 1900?
Is there only one of it?
Is it a coat?
...or shall I get mine?
rab - Can one live in it? One could...but I don't think anyone does
Raak - A telephone box? No
Inkspot - Was the first one made before 1900? Yes
Rosie - Is there only one of it? No
Tolken - Is it a coat? No, and no, it was a perfectly clean question
A sauna?
Raak - A sauna? No
Is it a piece of street furniture?
rab - Is it a piece of street furniture? No
Is the vegetable ccomponent wood?
irach - Is the vegetable component wood? Yes
Is it larger than a transit van?
Is it an outdoor object?
(Chalky) A TRANSIT van?
Chalky - Is it larger than a transit van? Yes
Rosie - Is it an outdoor object? Yes
(What's wrong with Transit vans?)
Are they in fixed positions?
Inkspot - Are they in fixed positions? *another ripple of applause* No
A horse box?
Is the animal human?
Does it have wheels?
Raak - A horse box? No
Inkspot - Is the animal human? Yes
rab - Does it have wheels? *giggling from large sections of the audience* Yes, though in the past they used to have more.
Would you find it at a funfair?
Is is a mode of public transport?
Is it a vehicle?
A horse-drawn wagon?
Does it use electric power?
Raak - Would you find it at a funfair? No
rab - Is is a mode of public transport? *loud applause* YES
Projoy - Is it a vehicle? Yes
Rosie - A horse-drawn wagon? *giggles No
Inkspot - Does it use electric power? It does now, but it hasn't always done.
A tram?
A train?
rab - A tram? No
Raak - A train? No

Apologies - I'm out most of tomorrow and won't be at a keyboard until the evening. I hope no-one will harbour a grudge.
A lift?
An escalator?
An omnibus?
a charabang?
a charabanc?
It would appear that everyone not in my family calls it a Charabanc, so I'll try again!
Raak - A lift? No
Rosie - An escalator? No
rab - An omnibus? No
Lib - a charabang or charabanc? Or even a charabank - a coach you get on Bank Holidays. No
Does it use the roads?
Back to basics. :-(
A ferry?
(I'm pretty certain this is a water vehicle of some kind.)
A barge?
Rosie - Does it use the roads? No
CdM - A ferry? *waves of applause* YES! 'Ferry' is one of the four words on the card.
rab - A barge? No
A cross-channel ferry?
Ferry Across the Mersey?
CdM - A cross-channel ferry? La Trans-Manche? Non
rab - Ferry Across the Mersey? No
Hong Kong Star Ferry?
Isle of Man Ferry?
Lib - Hong Kong Star Ferry? No
CdM - Isle of Man Ferry? No, but the geographically closest so far.
Ferry to/from a Scottish Isle?
Projoy - Ferry to/from a Scottish Isle? No, and no closer.
Does it sail from Liverpool?
Isle of Wight Ferry?
Holyhead- Dublin sea ferry?
Pembroke to Rosslare ferry
rab - Does it sail from Liverpool? No
Lib - Holyhead- Dublin sea ferry? No
Inkspot - Pembroke to Rosslare ferry No

When I said CdM was 'closest', that was strictly comparative. 'Least distant' would have been more helpful. Lib is now the least distant.
Is at least one end of the journey in the UK?
Is at least one end on the North American continent?
Does it sail between two different countries?
Is it operated by a pulley system?
The Staten Island Ferry?
CdM goes overnight from 'least distant' to bullseye - the Staten Island Ferry it is! One Staten baton handed over.
ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, and MINERAL
Is the animal human?
Human? No.
Is the vegetable a liquid?
Is it edible?
Is there a seasonal connection?
Vegetable = liquid? Least misleading answer is yes, I think.
Edible? Yes. *ripple of applause*
Seasonal connection? None that I am aware of.
Some sort of soup?
Soup? No.
Is it associated with a particular country?
A specific meal?
Some form of alcohol?
Associated with a particular country? Yes *applause*
A meal? No. *a sprinkling of laughter*
Some form of alcohol? Yes, the vegetable component is some form of alcohol. *applause* (I was probably overthinking earlier when I said liquid was "least misleading"; I should have just said yes. But it doesn't seem to have slowed you up.)
Is the mineral salt?
Salt? No.
Is it a drink?
Is the mineral water?
Two pints of lager and a packet of pork scratchings?
A drink? The words on the card do not define a drink as such. The alcohol is intented to be drunk, however.
Mineral = water? While there may be some water mixed in the alcohol, the primary mineral component is not water.
Two pints of lager and a packet of pork scratchings? How can I put this? No.
Is the animal a fish?
Is the animal connection a by product like cheese?
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou?
Animal = fish? No.
Animal = By-product? No.
Wonderloaf, Mateus Rosé and him? No, but a nice guess.
Is the alcoholic part served separately to the edible component?
Alcohol and edible component served separately? No. *some applause*
Is the mineral part the container in which it is served?
Is it some kind of stew?
Is the animal a bird?
Mineral part = container? Yes. *applause*
Some kind of stew? No.
Animal = bird? No.
Clarification: my answer to "drink?" might have been unintentionally misleading. The answer is not exactly a drink, but it is not incorrect to think in terms of things that are. If you see what I mean. It always amazes me how hard it can sometimes be to answer even the simplest questions in this game.
Is it a canned item?
Is the alcoholic part a spirit?
Canned item? No.
Spirit? Yes.
Irish coffee?
Is it always the same spirit? (And if so, is it vodka?)
*wonders what kind of animal Raak takes in his coffee*
Is the animal component milk or milk-based?
Is the vegetable a fruit?
Always the same spirit? Yes.
Vodka? No.
Animal = milk? No.
Vegetable = fruit? No.
Is the spirit brandy?
Brandy? No.
Mezcal (the Mexican spirit with a worm in the bottle)?
And a massive leap to victory by Raak. The words on the card were "A bottle of Mezcal containing a worm", but I had previously decided that I would award victory as long as the words "mezcal", "bottle", and "worm" all appeared.
*hands a small, wriggling, inebriated baton to Raak*
Apparently the worm in the bottle was invented in 1950 by one Jacobo Lozano Paez as a marketing ploy for stupid gringo tourists.

The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.

Glass houses pierced by stones?
[Projoy] No, but you have the right general idea.
Is it a saying?
[rab] A saying? No.
(The general idea is a bit more general than that.)
Is the mineral rock?
[Rosie] Not rock.
Is the mineral in its natural state?
[Rosie] The mineral is not in its natural state.
Is it always made of the same material?
[rab] Yes, always the same material.
Begins with P?
...to try to give Rosie a hand, however small.
Plastic?
Is the object larger (in any dimension) than a dustbin?
more than one mineral?
[Tuj] Does not begin with a P.
[rab] Not plastic.
[Rosie] Not larger than a dustbin.
[Lib] Not more than one mineral.
Glass?
[rab] Yes! Glass.
Glass Menagerie?
[irach] Not a menagerie.
A cut-glass accent?
Like wot I 'ave.
[Rosie] Not ay cut-glahss eksent.
Is it half-full?
Is the glass a mirror?
[rab] Not half-full (nor half-empty, nor over-engineered for the purpose).
[irach] Not a mirror.
Is the glass component a container?
[irach] Yes, a container.
Is the container a bottle (with or without a genie)?
Is the contents important?
[irach] (applause!) It's a bottle. No genie.
[rab] The contents are not important.
I'll be in London all day tomorrow, doing the rounds of as many museums and art galleries as I can fit in, so you have a day to think about this abstract glass bottle.
A Klein bottle?
[Projoy] Surprisingly, not a Klein bottle.
Is it associated with a myth, legend or piece of history?
Losing one's bottle?
Hitting the bottle?
[rab] Not mythical, legendary, or historical.
[Irouléguy] Not losing it.
[irach] Not hitting it.
Is anything being done to it?
[rab] Nothing is being done to it.
Is the actual word "bottle" on the card?
[irach] (excited murmuring from the audience) Strictly speaking, no.
Is it bottled-up anger?
[rab] Not bottled-up anger.
A hint
There are two words on the card, including the indefinite article.
A jeroboam?
[Rosie] Not a jeroboam.
A decanter?
A gottle? (of the kind that generally contains geer)
[irach] Not a decanter.
[Projoy] Not a gottle.
Another hint
The Mineral meaning is less well-known than the Abstract meaning.
A fiasco?
[Rosie] Yes, a fiasco, and well done for avoiding one.
(Raak) Too kind; you haven't seen my Christmas arrangements.

Right, here we go with a fairly simple one that's ABSTRACT with MINERAL connections.

Is the mineral a metal?
Does it have religious connections?
Is it fictional?
irach - Not a metal
Inkspot - No religious connection
Irouléguy - Not fictional
Does it describe an emotional state?
irach - Nothing to do with the emotions.
related to music?
Ooh, sorry I forgot to get dressed up in my disguise above! How rude of me! *blushes*
(Lib) - Nothing to do with music.
Is the mineral liquid?
>Is the mineral ice?
Irouléguy - Yes, the mineral is liquid.
irach - Not ice. See above. :-)
Anything to do with the weather?
Is the liquid mineral potable (non life-threatening if imbibed)?
Is it flammable?
Coloured?
Does it f l o w?
Raak - Weather? Certainly is *applause*
irach - Potable? Very much so
Inkspot - Flammable? No. Laughter from audience
Lib - Coloured? Yes *whooping and shrieking from the rather plebby lot we've got in tonight*
Rab - Does it flow? - Course it flows, 's a bleed'n' liquid innit? Man of your calibre; I dunno.
Purple Rain?
irach - Not purple rain.

(tutti) Don't forget it's fundamentally abstract.

Some other colour of rain?
Somewhere Over the Rainbow?
Raak - Not rain of any colour
irach - Erm, I'm afraid not. *huge but rapidly-stifled audience eruption *
Non-alcoholic liquid, one assumes?
Projoy - T-t-t-totally correct, but you're moving in the wrong direction.
A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
Just a rainbow?
[Rosie] Sorry - was drunk last night.
Raak - Not the pot of gold, but . . . .

The rainbow itself. So the winner is the extraordinarily sober rab! Well done.

Eek!
Right, well I probably won't have 'net access after 9am tomorrow, so let's go for a really easy ANIMAL (with possible ABSTRACT tendancies).
a Gnu?
Not a Gnu.
A specific individual?
[Raak] Yes!
Fictional?
[irach] As the Germans say, jein.
Human?
Yes.
Is he/she dead, or as the Germans ask: Ist er/sie tot?
Errr..., jein. You have only a few hours left. If no one gets it, someone else can take over with what they think it is...
Male?
Yes!
Santa?
I said it was easy.
Ok, another easy one, to make sure it gets solved before Christmas.

ABSTRACT.

The First Noel?
[irach] Not the First Noel.
Xmas-related?
[Projoy] Coincidentally Xmas-related.
Related to religion?
A greeting?
[Projoy] Some relate it to their religion.
[Inkspot] Not a greeting.
Winter solstice?
Bingo!
[irach] The very words on the card.
Here we go again- This one is ANIMAL
Dickens?
[Rosie] Good try, but no. (Bah! Humbug!) ...the audience at least stirs slightly
Reindeer?
Human?
[lib] Nort reindeer.
[Tuj] Yes, human.
Christmas-related?
[Tuj] No Christmas connection.
A European?
A male?
In the news recently?
[Inkspot] European, yes.
[Projoy] Yes, male.
[Rosie] No, not that I know of.
Alive?
[Inkspot] Dead.
Was he born before 1900?
[Inkspot] Yes, born prior to 1900.
Involved in any of the creative arts?
[Rosie} Yes.
Born prior to 1700?
[Projoy] Yes, born prior to 1700.
In the Music Field?
[StormWraith] Not Music.
Is he in a visual art?
[StormWraith] Not a visual art per se.
Was he a Greek?
[Inkspot] Not Greek.
British?
[Lib] Jolly good, I say! Yes, British. (the audience stirs and begins humming "Rule Brittania")
A writer
I mean "A writer?"
Born prior to 1500?
[Rosie] Yes, a writer.
[Projoy] Born after 1500.
A playwright?
[Rosie] Yes, he wrote plays.
Shakespeare?
`
[Projoy] YES, the Bard of Avon it is. Over to you.
OK, here's a MINERAL/ABSTRACT.
Anything to do with the present season?
Stone?
[Raak] To do with the present season? NO
[Inkspot] Stone? YES
Stonehenge?
Is this two meanings for the same word, one mineral, one abstract?
[irach] Stonehenge? NO
[Rosie] Two meanings? YES, but then again NO. Not sure which is the most helpful answer, really.
Is it the rock of ages?
[Kim] Aged Rock? NOPE
Connected with a geographical feature?
[Rosie] Not connected with a geographical feature.
Does it have religious significance?
[Inkspot] religious significance? NO (a couple of mutters from the audience, but basically they agree)
The Stone of Scone?
[Raak] Symbol of temporal power in Scotland? NO.
Is it unique?
[Inkspot] Unique? NO is the best answer.
An artistic depitction?
[Rosie] Artistiction? NO
Does it feature in a legend?
[rab] Features in a legend? Strictly, NO, although a small change to your question would yield a YES.
Is there a specific, finite number of them?
Does it appear in mythology?
[Raak] A specific, finite number of them? NO
[Inkspot] Appears in mythology? I'm reasonably sure that's a NO, altho my research wasn't exhaustive.
It depends a bit on your definition of "mythology" and "legend", come to think of it. Probably best to regard NO as the most helpful answer in those cases, but you're approaching the right sort of area.
Some kind of fictional story?
[rab] (pretending to mishear the question) Fictional? YES!
Is the type of mineral any more specific than "stone"?
[rab] More specific than stone? NO
Does it have origins in a particular culture?
A heart of stone?
[Inkspot] Originates in a particular culture? NOT SURE. Sources are a bit unclear on this point.
[Raak] Heart of stone? NO.
It's not . . . . dilithium crystals, is it?
[Rosie] NO, IT'S NOT
[Rosie] Actually there is a very, very, very obscure connection to a particular variety of dilithium.
Then again, I am slightly drunk.
Is it fictional?
Is its signifance connected to a specific individual (possibly fictional)?
Is there a connection to an event?
sober now...
[Raak] Fictional? YES (see answer to rab's "misheard" question above)
[rab] SORT OF. Its significance isn't dependent on a specific individual, but there are specific individuals associated with it.
[Inkspot] Connected to a particular event? NO, NOT REALLY (except in a pretty trivial sense).
Could you name those specific individuals? And would you be able to get them all into the 'Stance' box?
(I don't actually want you to do this, merely know if it's possible...)
[rab] Could I name those individuals? YES, although it would be subjective as there's certainly no canonical list of them. Would they all fit into the "stance" box? I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT SO for most people's lists. An academic in the right field might be able to overflow the stance box, but most reasonably erudite people would probably name four or so names.
Are the people fictional as well?
[Inkspot] Are the people fictional? NO, by and large.
Are these precious stones?
Is the word "stone" on the card?
Do the stones go back to the time of the Greeks and Romans?
Arthurian connection?
The alchemists' stone?
back online now
[Raak] Precious stones? NO *sustained applause from the audience*
[CdM] The word "stone" IS on the card *mounting excitement from audience*
[Inkspot] Back to Greek and Roman times? YES
[rab] Arthurian connection? NOT THAT I'M AWARE OF
[CdM] Alchemists' stone? YES. The words on the card were "Philosopher's Stone", and I have to say I'm very upset that Tuj never popped up with his normal question! I got in a bit of a tizzy over the legend/myth questions. To my knowledge, the philosopher's stone doesn't appear in a particular myth or legend or in what is conventionally called mythology (i.e. of the Greek and Roman variety), but one could call it a mythical or legendary object, so a hard one to answer helpfully. * transmutes baton into finest gold and hands to CdM*
All right, here we go again

ABSTRACT
Global Warming?
Not getting warmer at all
Global Warming? No.
Visible?
Human construct?
Fictional?
Visible? Yes.
Human Construct? Yes.
Fictional? No, although there are a few connections to works of fiction.
Something used as a symbol?
A slightly tricky one
Symbol? I think the most helpful answer is no.
Smoke?
Mirrors?
An action?
An emotion?
Does it involve all mankind, or a select few?
Coming up empty
Smoke? No. (Abstract?)
Mirrors? No. (Abstract?)
An action? No.
An emotion? No.
Does it involve all mankind? I'm not sure that it makes much sense to talk of this "involving people", but if you insist on an answer, I would say that it does not involve all mankind.
A metaphor?
Really not getting very far
Metaphor? No.
Is it ever used as a means of communication?
OK, now we're getting somewhere
Used as means of communication? While that is not its primary use, it can be used as a means of communication in certain circumstances.
An art form?
Speaking too soon...
An art form? No.
Is the "primary use" an invention?
Too, too soon
Invention? It is a human construct that was invented, but you wouldn't normally call it an invention.
Is any technology necessarily involved?
Is it a process?
[CdM] Not sure I care for your patronising tone.
Sorry - that was a bit harsh as usual. I read your last comment as "Of course a human construct is a human invention you idiot" but re-reading it I suspect my first reading was incorrect. Unfortunately, I can't work out what your last comment does mean...
I apologise unreservedly
Technology involved? Not really, except for a very broad definition of technology.
Process? No.

[rab] Wow, sorry -- I assure you that wasn't meant to be in the slightest bit patronising. My pedantic answer simply reflected the confusion I often feel when answering seemingly simple questions in this game. "Invention" conjures up to my mind steam engines, spinning jennies, COBOL, and the like -- and it would be odd to describe the subject on the card as an invention in that sense. On the other hand somebody did presumably invent this thing, so it would be misleading to say no as well.
S'ok - I did over-react. Likewise I find a problem in this game is in asking questions that don't completely give away the thing(s) you think they might be.

Does it exist?

'Course it does, idiot
Does it exist? Yes.
Not a ghost, then.
Is it electromagnetic radiation?
Did it exist 100 years ago?
Electromagnetic radiation? No. (This thing is abstract, but it does typically have a physical manifestation, so you can add "with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE AND/OR MINERAL connections" to the description, if you like.)
Did it exist 100 years ago? Yes.
Does it involve words?
Does it involve words? Yes. *prolonged applause from audience*
Rap?
(You said it wasn't an art form)
Are these words in spoken form?
Poetry?
Music and words?
Do the words originally come from one particular language?
Drama?
A musical?
Rap? Nope.
Are the words in spoken form? No.
Poetry? No, although there can be a connection.
Nineteen-forties movie? No.
One language? No.
Plays? No.
Evita? No.
In written form, then?
Is it the game of AVMA on mc5?
Ah, wait a minute - that's mostly one language... so change that to MC on the web
Actually, scrap that again - no technology, existed 100 years ago. Hmmm, stumped.
Written form? Yes. (Obviously, the words in question could be read, but the words on the card are associated with a written form.)
AVMA on the web (or not)? No.
Is it an epitaph?
RIP? The answer is not an epitaph, although there very occasionally is a connection.
Are you in need of a clue yet? ...
Because I have actually already given you some clues already.
Anything to do with religion?
God help us.
Birthday greetings?
Do the words on the card describe a particular formation of words?
Is this associated with a specific occasion or event?
"The words on the card"?
[Projoy] I was going to ask that...
Religion? There are occasional connections.
Birthday greetings? No.
Particular formation of words? Not exactly sure what you mean, but I think the best answer is yes. *some confused applause*
Associated with specific occasion? No.
Words on the card? No.
To do with nomenclature?
An advertising slogan
[CdM] By "particular formation of words" I meant something like an epitaph, birthday greeting or, indeed, an advertising slogan.
...or perhaps a particular form of verse or...
To do with nomenclature? In some cases, but by no means necessarily.
Advertising slogan? No.
[rab] Then I continue to think that the best answer is yes, although the answer is certainly not a unique formation of words such as "Just do it"
A condolence?
Typically appearing in printed form rather than manuscript?
Related to a particular time in people's lives?
Condolence? No.
Do you write it down? It could be either, but, yes, most instances would be printed.
Marriage, birth, death, divorce, christening...? No.
Is the meaning of the words relevant to what's written on the card?
Meaning relevant? No.
An invitation?
equal rights (as expressed in legislation)
Is it associated with the legal profession?
Is it work-related?
Come as you are? No.
Legislated equality? No.
Unethical? No.
Ergological? No.
Anything medical?
Some sort of certification?
Associated with a particular writing system?
A list of words?
A decloration?
Is the form of the words relevant to what's written on the card?
Is the setting of this one self-referential?
Anything Medical? No.
Certification? No
Riting or Reading or Rithmatic system? No.
"Of", "But", "Transubstantiate", "Legume", "Velocity"? Only vaguely.
Statement of intent to declare something to say? No.
To what's written on the card is the form relevant? Yes.
Is it self-referential? No, but...
Could be...
A clue?
A sentence?
Is there likely to be a particular length to which this form of words runs or could it range significantly from, say a few words to hundreds?
Is this form of words written by a particular group of people?
Do I have to spell it out for you?
A clue? No.
Verb-containing syntactically independent grammatical unit? No.
Many or few words? No particular length, though not arbitrarily short and usually not very long.
Authored by a particular group of people? No.
Is it spelling?
Anything to do with synonyms (or antonyms)?
Anything to do with translation
(rudely taking two goes)
Crying in my beer
Spelling? No.
Opposites (or sames)? No.
Babelfish? No.
Does this usually appear in a particular format of writing (eg newspaper, novel, magazine)?
Gah! An ACROSTIC?
I feel guilty even offering that answer, as it's now so obvious.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
I am the stupidest person in the whole world and my only consolation is that most of the rest of you were equally stupid.
I'm tempted to say that CdM won that round and should continue with the next clue.
Oh bollocks.
Give that man an beer. We were defeated good and proper.
Beer would be great! I'm delighted and flattered that I've been invited to come back and set one more clue, and yet now I'd rather retire unrequited.
Very well, then. On CdM's behalf*, here's an ANIMAL/MINERAL/ABSTRACT thingumabob.
* this means you can blame him if it's too hard
Is it some kind of idiom?
Course it's not, you idiom.
[rab] an idiomat? NO
There's a case for describing this as an (ANIMAL) (MINERAL) (ABSTRACT (ANIMAL) ), but maybe that's taking pedantry to new extremes.
Is the animal part human?
(By the way, I think that one of the reasons I inadvertantly insulted rab was that, at the beginning, my comment lines were an acrostic of "an acrostic". Thus my "Too, too soon" comment, which may have been what conveyed the unintended patronising tone. Also, I apologize for some of my slow responses, but they were partly because I was waiting for enough questions to put acrostics in my answers, and partly because good acrostics were hard to compose.)
(Either animal part...)
Is it something I'd encounter in everyday life?
Um, Projoy?
I think you were handed a baton, actually.
[CdM] Is either animal part human? YES
[rab] Something you'd encounter in everyday life? NO
[Néa] Me? NO :)
Is there more than one of these?
[Projoy] It's poor form to point to one's own cleverness, but I think Néa was referring to the fact that my AVMA sign-off above was actually an acrostical limerick.
[CdM] More than one? The best answer is NO, on several counts.
[CdM] re: limerick - Too subtle, too subtle!
Bloody hell, CdM! Here, have this round of applause that's been looking for a home.
Noah's Ark?
Oops
Pressed 'stand' too soon. I meant to add my congrats to CdM - excellent!
[Ig] Big Boat Wot Has Animals In? NO
Is it fictional?
A trophy?
Is it the name of something?
Actually, you could probably argue anything is the name of something, so let's change that to:
Is it a title of a book/film/poem/...?
[Inkspot] Fictional? YES, in essence
[Raak] Trophy? NO
[rab] The name of something? YES (and not in the same way that just anything is
[rab] Title of cultural product? NO (that I'm aware of)
Someone's nickname?
A legendary being?
[Raak] A nickname? NO * an audient claps a couple of times, but tails off when no-one else joins in *
[rab] Legendary? NO *smiles in the audience*
Is it a person?
To do with religion?
Is it a place?
[rab] A person? Hm. YES and NO
[Raak] Religious connection? NO
[Ink] A place? NO
Is the other animal part a specific animal?
Is the human part that is and is not a person a character of myth?
Sandman/Tooth Fairy type person?
Is it a something-man?
[Ig] Other part (the part that isn't human) a specific animal? YES
[Kim] You've slightly misread my response. I didn't say that there was a human part that was and wasn't a person. I said the whole thing was and wasn't a person. That said, the human part, as it happens might be described as being and not being a person. But the human part is not a character of myth. Glad to have cleared that up. :)
[Ink] Sandman/Tooth Fairy or generic substitute? NO
[rab] A something-man? In quite a broad sense, YES (but possibly not the one you're thinking of).
Did it originate in a particular culture more than 2000 years ago?
[Inkspot] Originated...particular culture... 2000 years ago? NO
Is the word "Man" on the card?
Is the mineral part man made?
[Kim] Word "man" on card? NO
[Inkspot] Mineral man made? YES
It's rather late to fess up to this, but I think there is probably a VEGETABLE element to this too (having said which, its absence hasn't really proven critical in the questioning as yet, nor probably will it).
Anything to do with warfare?
[Ig] Warfare? NO *some laughter*
Is it a part of a person?
[Raak] Parts of persons? YES. One 'animal' is part of a person; the other 'animal' is partially a person.
Is the "partially person" a ghost?
[rab] Ghosties and ghoulies? NO
Is the supernatural involved?
[Raak] Supernatural? NO
Here's our Graham with a quick reminder
Handy summary: It's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MINERAL, (ABSTRACT (ANIMAL)). On the card is a name - the name of something essentially fictional that is and isn't a person. One of the animal parts is part of a human, the other animal part is partially a person, and partially another specific animal. The mineral part is man-made. It isn't supernatural or mythical.
Is the specific animal a mammal?
[rab] Mammal? YES
Did this first appear in a specific work of fiction?
[Ig] Appeared first in a specific work... YES is the best answer, altho one might quibble with it slightly.
Is the work of fiction European?
[Ig] Fiction European? YES
English language?
Is it from a comic?
[rab] Eng. Lang.? OUI
[Ink] Comic? NO
Is the work of fiction a book?
[rab] Book? NO
A Shakespeare play?
A film?
[Ig] Shakespeare play? NO (not a play at all, in fact)
[Ink] Film? NO
Is it any form of writing?
[rab] Originating work of fiction a written form? NO
Is the mineral part of the viewing medium rater than an object like a spoon?
rater/rather
Is this the name of a painting?
[Ink] Mineral part of the viewing medium? NO
[Raak] Painting? NO
Does the originating work of fiction exist (or has it existed) in any concrete, tangible form?
[rab] Original work concrete? Almost not sure how to answer. Would, say, a CD or a score of a piece of music count as concrete and tangible for the purposes of the question (originating form is not a piece of music, btw)? If you'd say yes, then YES, if you'd say no, you meant something like a painting or a sculpture where the idea and its expression in concrete form are pretty much analogous, then NO. :) (© Overthinking Services Ltd)
So, the work itself is not a tangible representation, but it can be tangibly represented?
[Raak] I think I'm in danger of leading you into a siding here. So that we can get back on the main track, let me reveal that the medium in question is TELEVISION (which can of course be put into the tangible form of videotape or DVD).
Doctor Who related?
(Well, presumably before it was on television it was in a script, which is a concrete tangible form by any defition surely?)
[rab] Doctor Who related? NO
(Fair enough, I was just interpreting your question as trying to distinguish a particular class of artforms of, say, the sculpture variety. If you count stuff like scripts, then which art forms don't have tangible form? Even computer games are stored tangibly on a HDD.)
* goes off to write treatise on television as a virtual form *
Is the programme currently on television?
Projoy] Re non-tangible art forms - how about improvised stand-up comedy?
[Ig] Is the original programme in which The Answer first appeared still on? NO
(is a real-life performer insufficiently tangible for you, then? :))
[Projoy] I was thinking of apocryphal/folk stories, that kind of thing.
British TV programme?
Was it a series?
[rab] British? YES
[Inkspot] A series? YES
The genre popularly known as "Drama"?
And you do know what I mean by that, if you don't try and think too hard :)
[rab] I hope you'll forgive me for giving the answer as I DON'T KNOW. History records the name of said show, but not its genre. Quite startled at how recalcitrant this subject is proving.
Summary again
[rab] On further thought, the best answer is almost certainly NO to the genre question.

Handy summary: It's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MINERAL, (ABSTRACT (ANIMAL)). On the card is a name - the name of something essentially fictional that is and isn't a person. One of the animal parts is part of a human, the other animal part is partially a person, and partially another specific mammal. The mineral part is man-made. Appeared first in a British TV Show (in English) that is no longer on.
First episode shown prior to 1980?
OK let's try a different tack.
[rab] First episode before 1980? YES
Monty Python's Flying Circus
Late entry from me.... Will be a bit of a bad steal if I'm right.
[Lib] MPFC? NO.
Is the human part an internal organ?
Re improv - touché
Is the thing also the name of the show?
[Ig] Internal organ? NO
[rab] name of show=words on card (or selection of permutation of)? NO
First shown on the BBC?
[Ink] BBC? NO
First episode before 1970?
[Ink] Before 1970? YES (hint - we are talking about the show that hosted the first appearance of this character, not necessarily the show most associated with it.)

[all] Are some clues needed at this stage? This clue seems to be losing steam a bit after more than a week in play!
(or is everyone suffering from the rapid approach of the worst day of the year?
Was this children's TV?
Clues - yes, please.
[Ig] Children's TV? YES! *considerable applause*

Blue's First Clue: it is the abstract (i.e. fictional) part that contains that which is partially human and partially some other mammal - in other words, we're talking about an anthropomorphic character, not of some invented species, either.
A ventriloquist act?
Sooty?
[Ink] Wind-speaking? NO
[Raak] Carbonaceous Ursine? NO
Catweazle?
Is it a anthropomorphic character male?
Is the human part a pair of hands?
Quick check; The answer is not the title a 1960s(?) ITV childrens programme but a character from it? ...and that's all till tomorrow.
[Ig] Felis Mustela? NO
[Ink] Male? YES
[Ink] Hands? *applause and cheering* YES (not sure if it's a pair or just one).
Was this a Gerry Anderson series?
[Raak] Supermarionation? NO, MILADY
[Inks re: your quick check] That's completely correct.
String puppets of any sort?
[Raak] String puppets? NO
Cartoon/animation?
A shadow puppet?
Basil Brush?
I think Chalky has got it...
[rab] Animated? Like this game lately, NOT VERY! :)
[Raak] Shadow puppet? NO
[Chalky, you naughy victorous lurker] Basil Brush? YES!! BOOM BOOM. Basil first appeared in Peter Firmin's kids' show The Three Scampies in, I think it was 1968 but too lazy to go back and check on Wikipedia. For all I know the show was a drama rather than Basil's later chatshow-style shows, but I couldn't find that out. The animal element which is part of a human is the operator's hand in the puppet, the mineral the nylon from which I fondly fancy the puppet is fashioned, with a side-bet on some vegetable elements in his clothes too. The abstract element (incorporating more animal: i.e. anthropomorphic fox-man) is the fictional character of Basil. * gets a bag of aniseed balls, and gives that to Chalky, as there's no longer a fox to hunt * Tally Ho!
Oh, and well done to rab, Irouléguy and Inkspot for doing most of the heavy lifting, there!
Grr, Basil Brush passed through my mind but I rejected it for not being a sequence of four things, as suggested by the way you laid out your clue. Oh well, well done Chalky.
Congrats and welcome back, Chalky - I think it needed a fresh pair of eyes to get that.
Lurking and assorted pastimes
That'll teach me. I'll blame the pub quiz victory [the first time in 5 weeks] and the brandy.
'Tis grand to be back .. thanks to PJ for a very thorough set of responses and to rab, Raak, Iroulé, Inks et al for pointing the way :-)

How's about a V E G E T A B L E to ease me back into MC Land ..
Is it a fruit?
Well done Chalky, to think I dismissed BB and The Three Scampies as he is still going strong TV and was thinking along the lines of a character no longer shown. Hey ho!
Is it edible?
Is it paper?
Has it been in the current Film Club?
Alive?
Sorry for delay - couldn't get into server for some reason
[Inks] Fruit? YES!
[Raak] Paper? No
[Iroul] Current Film Club? Wassat then?
[Rosie] Alive? In the light of my reply to Inkspot, probably not relevant :-) Unless one can describe fruit as either alive or dead. In which case I would say either/or.
again
Apologies Iroulé - I now see what you mean.
Current Film Club? I don't think I can spot it.
One particular species of fruit?
A fruit salad?
Sorry - you didn't answer the edible question?
Star fruit?
[Irouléguy] One particular species? Oh yes.
[Rab] Fruit salad? No
[Rab] edible? YES! [sorry]
[Libs] Star fruit? No.
Is associated with being one particular colour?
[Inkspot] One particular colour? Yes.
Mangosteen?
(only in italics)
Strawberry?
Is its colour part of the fruit's name?
[CdM] Mangosteen? No
[Irouléguy] Strawberry? No
[irach] Colour part of fruit's name? No
Is the whole thing normally eaten including the skin/peel?
Is it grown in the UK?
Is it a citrus fruit?
[Inkspot] Eaten whole? Erm ... Yes
[rab] Grown in UK? I don't think so [meaning I can't find any real evidence of such]
[Raak] Citrus fruit? No

BTW - have just spotted a reference to this fruit in the current Film Club
Kumquat?
Mango?
Greengage?
[Lib] Kumquat? No
[irach] Mango? No
[Raak] Greengage? No
Tomato?
Gourd?
[Kim] Tomato? No
[Lib] Gourd? No
A chilli?
[Irouléguy] Chilli? No
Is it generally only used as part of a recipe (like a chilli) rather than on its own (like an apple)?
Is it normally cooked?
[rab] Part of a recipe or on its own? Good question - it is widely known as something that is part of a recipe [although I dare say one could eat it on its own]
[Rosie] Normally cooked? Another good question :-) No - not cooked as such.
Is it a type of dried fruit?
[Raak] A type of dried fruit? Noooo ... but keep going in that direction
Is it a fruit converted into a liquid form?
Would it be good in a cake?
Not necessarily going to help the guessing, but I need to know!
Raisin?
[Raak] Converted into liquid form? Yes it is! [to be clear - it doesn't have to be but is better known once it has been converted]
[Lib] Good in a cake? Doubtful but not a definite No :-)
[irach] Raisin? No
timetable
Can answer any more questions after 10.30 pm, so keep 'em coming
Grape?
Juniper
Tonights discoevery is that raspberry gin is a very good thing....
Is it red?
Is it green?
[irach[ Grape? YES! Now .... which one?
[Lib} Juniper? No ... I agree ... raspberry gin is indeed a fine thing
[Irouléguy] Red? Yes
[Inks] Green? nah
Italian red grape?
Pomegranate?
[Inks] Italian? Not known as such
[Phil] Pomegranate? No
Pinot noir?
Grenache?
Wait -- you said it was widely known (not that Grenache is that obscure, but still). How about
Syrah/Shiraz?
Chardonnay?
Merlot?
Cabernet sauvignon?
Zinfandel?
Now that I've noticed it's a grape :)
Muscat (variously spelled)?
[irach] Pinot noir? No
[CdM] Grenache? No
[CdM] Syrah/Shiraz? No
[Widely known/Obscure? I think I meant widely known for being a grape that is used for wine production rather than just eating :-)]
[rab] Chardonnay? No
[Inkspot] Merlot? No
[Irouléguy] Cab Sauv? No
[Phil] Zinfandel? No
[Raak] Moscato/Moscatell/Moscatel/Muscat? No
Gamay?
Irouléguy has it! The GAMAY grape is the answer. Here - have a glass - CHEERS :-)
Don't mind if I do - it is Friday. Cheers, Chalky! OK, our next is ABSTRACT and MINERAL with ANIMAL connections.
the salf of the earth?
That is, the salt of the earth?
A geographical feature?
To do with language?
Raak - The salt of the earth? No
Rosie - A geographical feature? Um...yes, in one sense
Projoy - To do with language? No
Is it a figurative expression?
Raak] Is it a figurative expression? Not a lot
An historical monument?
Is is a statue of someone?
Is it a sculpture?
Is it a piece of writing?
Kryptonite?
Man In The Moon?
Inkspot] An historical monument? *applause* No, but...
Kim] Is is a statue of someone? *more applause* No, but...
Projoy] Is it a sculpture? I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous answers.
rab] Is it a piece of writing? No
Raak] Kryptonite? No
irach] Man In The Moon? No
The Angel of the North?
Is it fictional/legendary?
Rosie] The Angel of the North? No
rab] Is it fictional/legendary? No
Is it artwork?
Is it a physical structure named for someone?
Is it the headquarters of some organisation?
Is it visible to the human eye?
Lib] Is it artwork? No
Raak] Is it a physical structure named for someone? Yeah, but yeah, but no (imagine it as three separate questions)
Rosie] Is it the headquarters of some organisation? No
rab] Is it visible to the human eye? Yes
An Olympic Torch?
rab] An Olympic Torch? No, but the Olympic torch has been there.
Is it manmade?
Mt Olympus?
Lib - Is it manmade? Yes
Projoy - Mt Olympus? No
Is it larger than a standard four bedroom detached house?
Or there abouts!
Lib] Is it larger than a standard four bedroom detached house? Yes
Is it ancient?
Rosie - Is it ancient? No
Is it in Europe?
Is it a building, i.e. a structure with storeys and rooms?
Is it unique?
We seem to be honing in on something very concrete, yet this thing is supposed to be ABSTRACT. I'm confused.
Is it a popular tourist attraction in the place where it is located?
Inkspot - Is it in Europe? Yes
Raak - Is it a building, i.e. a structure with storeys and rooms? No
CdM - Is it unique? Yes
I probably should have clued this as MINERAL and ABSTRACT - apologies for any confusions. It's another of those borderline ones, where it all depends on what you mean by 'abstract'. I do think there is an abstractness to it, though - it's a location, which i wouldn't describe as 'something very concrete'.
Kim - Is it a popular tourist attraction in the place where it is located? *ringing applause* YES!
Does a name appear on the card? (e.g., Anne Hathaway's standard four bedroom detached house)
[I] It doesn't sound like any apology is necessary; you did clue it as both mineral and abstract. Being confused is quite a normal state for me.
In the UK?
A sport venue?
Is it a piece of civil engineering?
CdM - Does a name appear on the card? A name, yes
CdM] I meant the order really. I read ABSTRACT and MINERAL as mostly abstract and a bit mineral, whereas it's more helpful to think of it as the other way round.
ImNotJohn - In the UK? Yes
Inkspot - A sport venue? No
Rosie - Is it a piece of civil engineering? Yes (according to the Wikipedia definition of CE).
Is it in London?
The London Eye?
rab] Is it in London? *applause* A capital answer
Inkspot - The London Eye? No
Trafalgar Square?
Cleopatra's Needle?
A bridge?
We have a winner - it's Trafalgar Square! A pigeon is winging its way to INJ with the baton.
somewhat shamefacedly
Nearly a lurker's victory - still I'll take it.

The next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections

Animal = human?
A work of fiction?
An action?
[CdM] Human - Not necessarily, but YES is most helpful
[Irg] fiction - NO
[Inks] Action - NO
A figurative expression?
[Raak] A figurative expression? - NO
A character of myth or legend?
[Kim] Legendary character - NO
An emotion?
[Inkspot] emotion - NO
A symbol?
[Raak] symbol - NO
An action?
Is language involved?
A rite of passage?
[Rosie] Action - I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous answer
[Raak] Is language involved? - NO
[Inks] rite of passage - NO
A social connection?
re previous question - should've been in bed. Sorry.
Anarcho-syndicalism?
[Rosie] A social connection? - NO (in fact rather the reverse)
[CdM] Anarcho-syndicalism? - one day.... but not today
Connected with philosophy?
[CdM] Connected with philosophy - I'm sure you could find a philosopher who would say so, but my answer is NO
Is it a human invention/construct?
[Iroul] Human construct - NO (not this time)
Do I get some sort of prize for having the only question so far that has been answered with something other than 'NO'?
Is it something that applies to most humans?
A scientific law?
Could the animal be a cow?
[CdM] - NO
[Rosie] - Applies to most humans - YES
[Raak] scientific law - NO
[Inks] Could the animal be a cow - NO (Actually, I don't know - I would assume not. In any case it wouldn't help you to guess if the answer were yes.)
Is this an absence of something?
[Iroul] an - NO
To do with the mind?
[Raak] To do with the mind - NO
Solitude?
Is this a medical condition?
An undesirable characteristic?
[Raak] solitude - NO
[Chalky a medical condition - YES (applause)
[Rosie] An undesirable characteristic - 1)YES, 2)NO
Is it a subjective characteristic?
[PJ] subjective - NO
Do the symptoms of this condition manifest themselves externally?
[Chalky] external symptoms - YES
Are men and women equally likely to have this condition?
[Iroul] men & women equally - YES
A neurological syndrome named after a person?
[Irach] neurological syndrome named after a person? - NO and NO
Is it caused by an external pathogen, e.g. virus or bacterium
Is it a common complaint?
[irach] caused by an external pathogen - YES
[Kim] common complaint - YES (applause)
A cold?
I wonder why I thought of that one.
And The Common Cold it is. (or cobbod code, as I would have said 3 days ago) -
Over to Rab
I feel we've had too many abstracts, but the only things I can think of right now are ABSTRACT. So there we go.
(I've chosen only one of them!)
Abstraction?
Nope.

Further reading suggests a possible mineral component.

A stony silence?
Human construct?
[Rosie] No.
[CdM] I don't believe so (the existence of humans is not - as far as I know - conditional on its existence)
A physical phenomenon?
Yes
Could life exist without it?
I expect so.
An astronomical phenomenon?
Possibly, but I would suspect only indirectly.
The tides?
The aurora borealis?
[Rosie] It would be more than a suspicion if it were the tides!

[Irouléguy] No.

An astrological phenomenon?
To do with the weather?
[Raak] No.

[Inkspot] YES!

Is it a wind?
To do with global warming?
The atmosphere?
[Inkspot] Wind is involved.

[Raak] Maybe, not sure.

[irach] "The atmosphere" are not the words that appear on the card.

The ozone hole?
Le mistral?
Jet stream?
[Raak] No.

[Irouléguy] No.

[irach] No.

Does it involve high winds?
Tornado?
[Raak] Yes.

[irach] No.

A hurricane?
Cyclone/
[Raak] No.
[irach] No\
Is the possible mineral component water?
Yes.
A perfect storm?
"The Tempest"?
El Nino?
A storm surge?
It seems that the thing I've chosen is not particularly well-defined but I believe that my answers are consistent with most people's understanding of what this us.

[Raak, irach, CdM, Rosie] No.

s/us/is
Is this associated with a particular part of the world?
Does it at ground level?
Is the abstractness anything to do with literature?
[Irouléguy] Yes. *applause*
[Inkspot] Does it what at ground level?
[Raak] No - not a human creation.
The global conveyer
(it is associated with a particular part of the world, albeit a very large part)
Is it seasonal?
[rab]That's what happens from simulposting the same thing then trying to think of something else, all before the first cup of tea of the morning.
Is it in the northern hemisphere?
El Niño?
The monsoon?
[Raak] Certainly associated with the northern hemisphere, but not sure if it's confined to it.

[Rosie] I wouldn't be that pedantic (see CdM's last guess).

[Ir] Nope.

The doldrums?
Is it a specific named wind like the monsoon?
Trade Winds?
Trans-Atlantic Drift?
Low Bailey 986 expected South Utsire 971 by this time tomorrow?
Is the wind associated with this phenomenon always from a particular direction, more or less?
(rab) Sorry, didn't see CdM's El Nino. I'm sure he pronounced it right, though.
[Inkspot] Not the doldrums.
[Irouléguy] The least misleading answer is probably 'no'. I'll elucidate further later if need be.
[irach] Not trade winds.
[Chalky] Nor a Trans-Atlantic Drift, although one or two audience members have woken up.
[Rosie] Low Bailey... 'fraid not.
[Rosie] Again not sure, but with 95% certainty I would say YES!
(that last to Rosie's direction question, and a different one-or-two audience members are starting to look agitated)
Does the answer on the card contain a geographical reference?
[Rab] You didn't answer a couple of earlier questions - 'Is it seasonal?' and 'The global conveyor?'
[ImNotJohn] YES! *applause*
Whoops - seasonal yeah, global conveyor no.
The Azores High?
Nope.
Equinoctial gales?
The Gulf Stream?
[Rosie, Raak] No.
Is it a hot desert wind of North Africa?
[irach] *Considerable peals of laughter, hooting, rolling about and slapping of thighs from the audience* No.
Okay, then. Is it an Arctic Express wind blast?t
That's good enough for me - it was Arctic Blast that was on the card.
This one is ANIMAL and VEGETABLE with a dash of MINERAL as well.
A tequila shot?
[Raak] After the day I've had, I wish it was a tequila shot. But 'no" is the answer to your "shot in the dark".
Is it something you eat or drink?
Is it larger than a washing machine? (an average sized british one).
[Iroleguy] Yes.
[Lib] No.
Is it a sandwich?
Smoky bacon crsisps?
Does fluid account for more than 50% of its volume?
[Kim] Not generally a "sandwich", although in one incarnation it may be so.
[Raak] Yummy!! But no.
[rab] This one is a little tricky... It is made up mostly of fluids, but it shouldn't be fluid when bought, or presented for consumption
Is rab's question easier to answer if you leave it at room temperature for a while?
[CdM] It cerainly is, in the affirmative.
Is Ice Cream involved?
[rab] Yes! "Ice cream" are the exact words on the card. (although at minus 17 degrees Celsius room tempaerature, and a minus 30 degree windchill here in suburban Boston, I'm not sure I want any just now. Over to you.
Whoops
Sorry, it's me again. MINERAL
Man-made?
Metallic?
[Rosie] No.

[irach] No.

A geographical feature?
Liquid?
Is there just one of these?
[Rosie] No.
[Raak] No.
[Irouléguy] It describes a class of things.
Is the mineral rock?
A geological term?
[irach] No.
[Rosie] No.
plastic?
Terrestrial?
IINJ] No.
[irach] No.
Sea salt?
Metal?
Is this found in the atmosphere?
Asteroids?
[irach] No.
[Raak] No.
[Chalky] Possibly (and that goes for terrestrial too, actually).
[Rosie] No.
A gas?
[Rosie] More gassy than anything else I would have thought.
To do with volcanoes?
A "greenhouse" gas?
A plasma, e.g. on the sun?
[Raak] No
[irach] No
[Rosie] No - but getting warmer (and not because you mentioned the sun).
Cosmic rays>
The solar wind?
Still mentioning the sun. :-)
Aurora borealis?
[Raak] I don't think cosmic rays are completely disconnected from what's written on the card.
[Rosie] Nope.
[irach] No.
Is it found in interstellar space?
[Raak] I believe so.
Is it found within our solar system?
Hydrogen?
[Inkspot] It might be.
[Rosie] No.
Is it made of subatomic particles (not assembled into nuclei)?
A particular element?
[Raak] Probably, yes.
[Irouléguy] No.
Dark matter?
If that isn't the answer, it should be.
YES! - Dark Matter it is.
Coo - I got a science one. OK, our next is quite different - ANIMAL and VEGETABLE (and ABSTRACT insofaras the answer's a concept, rather than a straighforward description).
Edible?
Raak] Edible? Yes
Meat and potatoes?
A particular dish?
A vegetarian diet?
Associated with a particular geographic area?
A Stew?
Raak] Meat and potatoes? Both could be included
Darren - A particular dish? Ye..es
Rosie - A vegetarian diet? *laughter rings round the audience* No
ImNotJohn - Associated with a particular geographic area? *applause* YES
irach - A Stew? No
A soup?
Is it a recipe?
A Cornish pasty?
Is the name of the geographic area on the card?
Somewhere in the UK?
Some sort of curry?
irach] A soup? No
Kim] Is it a recipe? No
Raak] A Cornish pasty? No
ImNotJohn] Is the name of the geographic area on the card? A derivative of the name is.
rab] Somewhere in the UK? *applause* Yes
Darren] Some sort of curry? Naan
England?
Scotch broth?
That was gonna be my next guess...
Fish pie?
rab] England? *applause* Yes
Raak - Scotch broth? Nae chance
Inkspot - Fish pie? No
Sweet (as opposed to savoury)?
ImNotJohn] Sweet (as opposed to savoury)? No
Is the place name a town?
Raak] Is the place name a town? No
If the audience had been more awake, they'd have cheered rab's last guess much more loudly.
Is the place name component "English"?
Not that I can think of a di...sh called English anything.
A Sunday Roast?
Scrub that, how about A Full English Breakfast?
An English muffin?
YES! Lurking pays off! A full English it is.
Oh dear. For once I don't have a topic in store. *sound of thinkage*...

Let's have this MINERAL
An artefact?
Solid?
[INJ] Artefact? YES
[Raak] Solid? YES
Unique?
Mainly or entirely metal?
A work of art?
...that is, something made just to be appreciated rather than to be used.
[Rosie] Unique? NO
[INJ] Mainly metal? YES
[Ig] Work of art? NO
Did these exist before the 20th century?
[Raak] Pre-1901? YES
Eating implement?
Fighting implement?
Food or fighting? NO
Larger than a breadbin?
[INJ] > breadbin? YES
Any connection to transport?
Is it connected with agriculture?
Is it connected with building?
Transport? NO
Agriculture? NO
Building? NO
Does it essentially have moving parts?
Essential moving parts? YES
Is it a piece of industrial equipment?
Larger than a telephone box?
Industrial eq.? NO
Smaller than a telephone box.
A household item?
Household item? *some laughter* NO, not in the generic sense.
Does it use fuel?
No fuel (like, say, an old fuel).
Used in a typical workplace?
Is it clockwork?
Powered by human effort?
Typical workplace? NO
Clockwork? NO
Human effort? YES *applause*
A trombone?
Normally used outdoors?
[Raak] Come on, we've already been told it isn't a fighting implement.
A trombone? NO *significant and sustained applause*
Normally used outdoors? YES and NO (strictly NO)
A musical instrument?
Musical instrument? YES! *applause*
Is there a part for it in any of the Beethoven symphonies?
French horn?
Is it a percussion instrument?
Did Beethoven write for it? NO
French Horn? NO
Percussion? NO
A tuba?
Tuba? YES, but that's not the answer. *much applause and cheering*
Some member of the tuba family?
A sousaphone?
A member of the tuba family? YES!
Sousaphone? YES! Ig takes it by a short head from Raak.
According to various googleable sources, the first Sousaphones (not in their current forward-facing configuration) turned up in the 1890s, although a specific date is tricky to track down.
A short note on the use of the trombone as a fighting implement:- Only attack music stands. 100% success guaranteed.
Trivia note - one of the first John Coltrane records I ever bought was him playing with a tuba player called Ray Draper. It's not great jazz, though Coltrane is pretty good on it.
*pause for what passes for thought* OK, our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Begins with P?
Blimey, haven't looked at this game for a while.
Fictional?
Character of myth or legend?
Begins with E?
Unicorn?
Tuj] Begins with P? Probably not (and welcome back!)
Raak] Fictional? Yes
Kim] Character of myth or legend? No
Projoy - Begins with E? Equally unlikely
irach - Unicorn? No
A specific animal character in fiction, e.g. the White Rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland"?
An alien being??
irach - A specific animal character in fiction, e.g. the White Rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland"? *applause* YES
Inkspot - An alien being?? *giggles from sections of the audience* Probably not
Does the character normally go on two legs?
Created in the twentieth century?
Is the character in the title of the book, film, play etc?
Is the animal non-human?
Raak] Does the character normally go on two legs? Yes
Projoy] Created in the twentieth century? Yes
Rosie - Is the character in the title of the book, film, play etc? No
irach - Is the animal non-human? Hmmm...I think it's mean to be sort of human
Is its first appearance in a TV programme?
rab] Is its first appearance in a TV programme? *CANNED APPLAUSE* Yes
Thinking about irach's question, a better answer would be that you probably wouldn't think of it as a human character (though it might be).
Cat from Red Dwarf ?
A cartoon character?
Is the genre science fiction?
American TV programme?
Inkspot] Cat from Red Dwarf ? No
Raak - A cartoon character? No
Kim - Is the genre science fiction? No
Projoy - American TV programme? Yes
An alien?
Oh, you already answered that. How about A TV programme from after 1980?
Projoy] - A TV programme from after 1980? No
Howdy Doody?
Sesame Street character?
irach - Howdy Doody? Nope
Inkspot - Sesame Street character? *some applause* No
A puppet?
The Banana Splits?
Miss Piggy?
Projoy - A puppet? *the audience wave their hands appreciatively* YES!
Raak - The Banana Splits? Worst. Children's. Programme. Ever? No
irach - Miss Piggy? *collective cry of "Moi?" from the audience* Very close!
Waldorf?
Actually, forget that. Too obviously human. How about Beaker?
Animal?
Ha-ha.
Kermit?
*throws drumsticks at Tuj* AARGH! TUJ! LURKER! WINNER!
While attempting to google for information on Animal's supposed species, I found this lovely quote from the show:

Kermit the Frog: "What's wrong with your drummer? He seems a little crazed."
Sgt. Floyd Pepper (Animal's handler and bandmate): "He's just upset because he missed the Monet exhibit at the British Museum."
Animal: "RENOIR!! RENOIR!!"
Didn't meant to be lurking... I was fairly sure that was wrong...
*throws baton at Iroléguy*
...OK, not Irouléguy, someone else. But the reason I didn't take part is I have very little time on my hands! Someone else best do it.
[Tij] No, you do it. Unless you're not gonna be here to answer people's stuff..
Tuj] Sorry if I offended you - it was a joke, honest :) Do set one...
Projoy] Did you find anything one way or another?
FFS somebody start one.
Yeah, looks like Tuj has timed out.
I nominate Projoy
I'm pro Projoy as well.
Hm. Well, here's a hopefully pretty easy one, then, altho I'm interested to see how it responds to an attempt to pin it down deductively.

It's ABSTRACT with mainly ANIMAL connections (but there's arguably connections to the other two too).
Begins with P?
Yeh sorry guys, that was my point... I apologise for feigning so much offense Irouléguy :P
I'm very in-and-out at present, as you probably haven't noticed: hence 2 queries to the last one & not having been here since my last comment.
[Tuj] P, please, Bob? NO.
Is the ANIMAL in question human?
(sigh)
[Tuj] Human connection? YES, basically.
NB to all. I suspect there's going to be a few questions where true pedantry would insist on a YES AND NO answer. However, I intend to employ a bit of lassitude sometimes in order to give helpful answers.
Is it as basic as life itself?
Lassitude? Isn't that the state of being dog food? Did you mean latitude, or are you actually knackered? :-)
Oops. Yes. Latitude.
As basic as life itself? NO. Some silly people might say YES, but they are silly.
Is it something you could do in bed without help from others?
A human construct?
Tuj] No worries.
Somethihng you can do in bed alone? NO
Human construct? YES
Doesn't lassitude make you poo?
Is it a fictional 'human construct' (whatever that may be)
Is it an action?
Is it an art form?
Some people think farting is an art form, and so it is, but I didn't mean that.
[ISP] Fictional? NO
[Raak] An action? NO
[Rosie] An artform? YES
Is music involved?
This one's gonna go quickly, I think
[Lib] Music involved? YES
A musical?
Opera?
[Lib] A musical? OOOH. ALMOST. *muchos audience applause*
[Raak] Opera? OOOH. ALMOST. *muchos audience applause*
First one to the punch will nod this one in, I think.
The Musical?
Music?
Phantom of the opera?
[rab, Rosie] A touch more specific than music and a touch less than Phantom of the Opera, the words on the card are Musical Theatre, which I think is close enough for Lib to claim the victory. *passes baton to Lib in order to complete the circle of life before the parade passes by*
(Projoy) Quite so. No probs. :-)
Hello everybody. I've not done this before. Did I lurk a bit? Sorry! Hmmm. Let me think.... Right. An easy one for my first time, methinks. This one's Animal and Vegetable.
The Good Old British Sausage?
[Raak] Big Banger? No.
Is it edible?
Bigger than a toaster?
Alive?
[Irouléguy] Edible? Mmmmm. Yep! [Tuj] Bigger than a toaster? Not usually, but some would prefer it that way! [Rosie] Alive? Nah.
Hmmm, time to sign up for that basic HTML nightclass.
Begins with P?
Hahahaha!
Is the animal a specific animal (species)?
Might one eat this in a restaurant?
Opens HTML handbook....
[Tuj] No peas please. No.
[Irouléguy] Specific animal Yes.
[Raak] Rest-your-auntie? Not usually.
Is the animal a bird?
[Inkspot] Birdy song? No.
A pie of some kind?
Is this usually eaten cold?
[Rosie] Pied? No
[Irouléguy] Chilly? Not usually, but not uncommon either!
Is the animal part meat?
[Raak] Meaty goodness? Yes.
Shepherd's Pie?
er, except that fails on the "pie" technicality, doesn't it. Oh well.
Does it require significant preparation?
Is pastry involved?
Is just one type of vegetable involved?
[CdM] Significant preparation? Kinda depends on what you call significant. To a student the answer probably would be yes, as it takes more effort than putting water onto the pot noodle. To Gordon Ramsey then probably yes too, but his would be far too flouncey. To me and you, No.
[Raak] Puff? No pastry.
[Irouléguy] 5-a-Day? There is more than one type of vegetable.... *scratches chin, and hopes that isn't misleading....*
Did it originate in a particular part of the world?
[Inkspot] Original? Yes, I think so.
Pizza?
Is bread involved?
Chip Butty?
Fast food?
[Projoy] Pizza? No.
[Raak] Right said Fred? Yes! (Much applause from the audience)
[INJ] Chip butty Nah.
[rab] Speedy eats? Not so fast, No within traditional definitions although they have become a bit blurred.
You're all getting very warm...
Bacon sandwich?
*Apologises for lurking*
*hits Uncle Korky over the head with a nice bacon butty for winning having lurked* Well Done Guys. Uncle Korky has seized the victory. The words on the card are indeed A Bacon Sandwich. I was rather impressed at Raak's first guess, well done that man!
Oops!
OK - I'll reiterate my apologies! Hopefully this'll be easy enough to guess so that someone more appropriate can take over the reins quickly... This one's animal and vegetable.
Sausages?
[Projoy] Walls have ears? Nope.
Is the animal part alive?
Foodstuff?
Is the animal a specific animal (species)?
it was right lat time...
[Projoy] Livin' thing? Definitely not
[Lib] Munchable? Nope
[Irg] Particular genus? Not one specific one, no...
Elephant's foot umbrella stand?
[INJ] Leg of Nellie No - not a specific animal, remember? :-) (Although one or two audience members were heard to murmur at INJ's question...)
Larger than a toaster?
[Lib] On the appliance graph... Yes, definitely bigger than a toaster
A stuffed animal head mounted on a wall?
Is the animal part leather?
Does it involve an elephant?
Bigger than a phone box?
Is it something you wear?
[Irg] "Bagged that one at..." 'fraid not
[Raak] Tanning? Yes indeedy! (outbreak of audience applause)
[Lib] More Nellie? Unlikely in the extreme!
[Projoy] TARDIS-shaped? Bigger? Difficult to say, but I'd tend towards "No". Certainly not taller.
[Inkspot] Apparrel? No (although someone extremely pedantic might argue this one).
Is it intended for protection?
(The 'elephant's foot umbrella stand' used to be a common standby in early ISIHAC Word Disassociation games)
[INJ] Safe whatever? No (but this also might be argued by someone extremely pedantic). Didn't know that about the 'EFUS' - ta!
A wigwam?
[Projoy] Teepee-tastic? No. Surely wigwams are taller than telephone boxes?
Is the leather part in the form of straps, rather than hides stitched together?
Not the one I made at infant school :) Admittedly, that wasn't leather.
[Projoy] Bondage gear? No.
I'd be interested in reading your reports from Mrs Crazy Horse...
Is it a manufactured item?
[Inkspot] "Men have made these..." Indeed it is. (Burst of applause from audience)
Is the vegetable part wood?
[Raak] Wood? Yes (or equivalent). (More applause)
A whip?
[Irg] *k'tishhhh!* Nope.
Something you sit on?
A piece of furniture?
[Rosie] Seating? Yes! (Applause, some cheering)
[Lib] Furnishings? 'fraid not.
Saddle?
Pic-nic table with leather decorations?!?!
[irach] Saddle? Nope, but there're indications that things are getting warmer...
[Lib] Words fail me... How can I put this...? No, and I'm not convinced that I want to go on a picnic with you now... :-)
Some sort of sledge?
Is seating its primary function?
I was going to suggest a Throne. But I presume UK would have called it a piece of furniture.
A chesterfield?
Sorry misread that - let's try
a chariot?
A shooting stick?
[Projoy] Sister? No (although the audience did sense a positive shift in direction here)
[Lib] Reason why? I would not say that the seating aspect is the primary function, although (clue) I believe that it is an essential factor
[INJ] Boudicca?No (although the audience have again seized on something here)
[Rosie] Bang bang? Sorry - way off the mark.
Rickshaw?
A means of transport?
Do it got wheels?
[Inkspot] Rickshaw? Sorry, no
[Rosie] Transportation? Most definitely (copious applause from audience)
[Projoy] Dey go round 'n' round? No wheels here...
A water-borne craft?
[Inkspot] Splosh Certainly is! (some audience standing to applaud now)
A kayak?
A coracle?
A rowboat?
A scull?
*blatantly lurking * - a dinghy?
Lurking behind Chalky
The Kon-Tiki?
We have a winner!
Hats off to Irouléguy - the actual words on the card were "A Traditional Welsh Coracle", but he's close enough to merit the win in my opinion! Comiserations to everyone else!
Well, that was a half-lurk, at least - apologies to those who did the hard work. With my usual impeccable timing, I'm keyboardless most of tonight and tomorrow, so let's have an easy(ish) one - our next is MINERAL and VEGETABLE.
A manufactured item?
irach] A manufactured item? *animated discussion in the audience* The more useful answer is 'no'.
Tin of Baked Beans?
Kim] Tin of Baked Beans? No (though this might go well with it)

Maybe back online later tonight - sorry, folks
Is the mineral salt?
Food?
oven ready chips?
Was the debate about manufacturing because there is preparation involved?
Mashpertater?
Is the vegetable Antony Worrall-Thompson?
Larger than a can of coke?
irach] Is the mineral salt? *applause* Yes!
Raak] Food? No(though this might go well with it)<
Inkspot] oven ready chips? See above
CdM - Was the debate about manufacturing because there is preparation involved? *more applause* Yes!
Projoy - Mashpertater? I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous-but-one answer.
I Say, Porter! - Is the vegetable Antony Worrall-Thompson? No
Lib - Larger than a can of coke? This doesn't really have a size

Apologies for the delay - as a partial defence, I was delayed in The Doric Arch until closing time, so I was in the Morniverse in spirit.
Celery Salt?
Or is the vegetable pepper?
Projoy] Berry astute - salt and pepper it is. One lightly seasoned baton handed over...
OK, here's an ABSTRACT
Can you see it?
Visible? NO
Can it be perceived by the other four traditional senses?
Olfactable, Audible, Haptable, Linguable? NO
Er, having looked those up, I think I meant "olfactible, audible, tactible, gustable"
Truth?
Quid est veritas? NO
Is it a human construct?
Mathematical?
Human construct? YES
Numberish? NO
Is it a system of government?
Is it a British thing?
government? NO
British? NO, not exclusively
Solitude?
The absence of something?
Solitude? SORT OF *audience applause*
Absence of something? YES *more applause*
Have you lots your mind?
aargh. Sorry. That's wrong. I mean lost and not lots...
[Lib] No, I haven't since you ask. :)
Bereavement?
Bereavement? NO *more applause*
Death?
DEATH? NO
Widowhood?
Solipsism?
Widowhood? YES, the very word on the card. That went surprisingly quickly. Over to Rosie.
Well, that was a bit lucky, so here we go with something less grim, and it's MINERAL
Diamond?
(Lib) No, not as un-grim as that, I'm afraid.
Metallic?
Manufactured?
A particular element?
(Projoy) Not metallic, essentially.
(Lib) Manufactured would be rather an odd description, but, actually, YES.
(Irouléguy) Not an element.
Made by hand?
A liquid?
Extruded?
(Projoy) Partly hand-made, mostly not.
(Irouléguy) Not a liquid. *audience laughter*
(ISP) Not extruded. *further merriment*. Sorry about the audience; they're a cruel lot.
One specific thing?
Silly putty?
(Tuj) One specific thing? - Very much so.
(Raak) Very much not so.
Is it solid?
(Raak) YES- solid.

I think I should add that the subject also has an ABSTRACT quality, which maybe ought to have been in the original definition, otherwise this may take ages.

Fictional?
Bigger than a toaster?
(Projoy) It really exists.
(ISP) Not an Oscar.
(Tuj) If not it would have to be some toaster, so YES.
Are there many examples of it?
Do you own one?
Artwork? Sculpture?
(Projoy) There is but one.
(Lib) Erm, no. *audience hilarity*.
(ISP) Not art or sculpture.
Is it in Britain?
Is it outside?
The holy grail?
tourist attraction?
(Raak) YES - in Britain.
(Lib) *some thoughtful audience murmurs - some suppressed giggles* In the sense you ask, YES. Not the holy grail, though.
(ISP) Probably, in a very minor way.
An architectural construction?
Is it associated with Monty python? (Or am I very naughty girl?)
Stonehenge?
Some huge image carved out of the hillside somewhere?
On the coast?
(Raak) Not really architecture.
(ISP) Not Stonehenge or a man with a huge willy.
(Lib) NO, and I'D SAY YES :-)
(Projoy) On the coast? Not really ON it so much as . . .
The Coast?
The white cliffs of Dover?
Or a particular part of the British coast?
The Sands of Dee?
The Jurassic coast?
(Projoy 1) Not the coast itself.
(Lib) Not the White Cliffs.
(Projoy 2) Not The Coast anywhere.
(irach) Not the Sands of Dee.
(Irouléguy) Not the ~Jurassic coast.

You have all wandered into the outer regions of darkness where it is very cold. Look at the answer to Lib's second question. This is man-made.

A lighthouse?
(Inkspot) Not a lighthouse.
Made of stone?
A structure for sea defence?
A connection with transportation?
Chunnel?
Is it bigger than a standard ex-council three bed semi?
Projoy - YES, made of stone.
Raak - Not a sea defence.
Inkspot - YES, connected with transport *audience cheers*
ISP - Not the Chunnel, but *HUGE audience cheers*
Lib - Certainly is in one direction, maybe two.
Bah! Humber! Is it a bridge or similar construction?
The Seikan Tunnel?
[Raak] That's stretching the 'yes' for your earlier 'in Britain' question a bit far...
Is it a road?
Is it a tunnel?
ISP - NO, not a bridge
Raak - See ISP's comment.
Chalky - NO, not a road.
Lurker Kim - YES, it's a tunnel.
Is it in England?
A railway tunnel?
The Severn Tunnel?
The Blackwall Tunnel?
The world's first passenger train tunnel, the 800-yard Tyler Hill Tunnel?
One of the tunnels which make up LU?
Lib1 - Half of it
UK lurker - YES
Chalky - Not the Blackwall Tunnel
Lib2 - Would I put up anything as arcane as that? 828 yds, BTW :-)
ISP - Not part of the tube.

But we have a winner, and it's RAAK, with the Severn Tunnel. Your go.

The next is primarily MINERAL, with a small ABSTRACT connection.
No, scratch that, the next one is ABSTRACT, with MINERAL connections, tenuously related to Rosie's one.
Actually, it's ABSTRACT and ANIMAL, with a MINERAL connection tenuously related to Rosie's one.
Iron horse?
Is it an organisation?
Shurely not Riddlesdown Tunnel?
An excavation?
[irach] Not an iron horse.
[Inkspot] Not an organisatsion.
[Rosie] Not Riddlesdown Tunnel.
[Rosie] Nor an excavation.
Is the mineral connection the River Severn?
[Irou] Not connected with the River Severn. The connection is more indirect.
Is there a railway connection?
[UK] No railway connection. BTW, the mineral connection is unlikely to be helpful in solving this.
Human construct?
Is the animal human?
[CdM] The mineral connection is.
[Kim] Yes, human.
Is this a space for the use of humans?
[Rosie] Not a space.
Are we talking more than one construct here...?
[UK] No: one mineral construction tenuously related to the actual answer.
Is there just one of these?
[I] Just one (of both the actual answer and the tenuously and completely unhelpfully related mineral construction).
Is this really as complicated as it seems?
Am I correct in assuming the term "construct" is not being used in the sense of an idea or invention but in this case simply means a structure?
A bus shelter, say, as opposed to anarcho-syndicalism.
[Chalky] Not at all complicated. Just an ABSTRACT ANIMAL that I expect everyone has heard of.
[Rosie] Yes: the unhelpfully distantly related mineral thingummy is a physical structure.
Was it built during the Victorian era?
[I] Um...[google]...no.
Does it commemorate an event?
[Inkspot] Not commemorative.
And to answer again the "human construct" question (a concept I'm not quite clear on), the ABSTRACT ANIMAL is a human creation.
[Inkspot] Oh, and the ABSTRACT ANIMAL was created in the Victorian era.
Is it a place in the physical world associated with a fictional person?
[Inkspot] Quite the reverse.
Is the person a synecdoche? e.g. "the unknown soldier"?
[Projoy] Not synecdocheic. Synecdochoic. Synecdochish.
Does this mean... that we're looking for a fictional person associated with a place in the physical world...?
[UK] That is the nub, gist, and essence of the matter. Of course, the association is tenuous and unhelpful.
From the works of Lewis Carroll?
[I] applause! Yes.
The lion, from the Lion, the witch and the wardrobe?
Hmm. I sense I accidently lurked as went away for the weekend. Sorry! But its probably not right anyway.
[Lib] ROWRR! Not Aslan.
Alice herself, perhaps?
[UK] Not Alice.
The Mad Hatter?
Cheshire cat?
AArgh. I do realise what I've done above... I feel such a confused fool. sigh. Sorry for being such a plank.
Mr Tumnus, Idi Amin's doctor?
[irach] Not the Mad Hatter.
[Lib] Not the Cheshire cat. (Don't worry, ISP's just done the same.)
[ISP] I'll have whatever you're smoking.
Tweedledum (or-dee)
A character exclusively from "Through The Looking Glass"?
The queen of Hearts?
Who made some tarts.
Jabberwock? Althogh I'm not clear to which place the Jabberwock is tenuously connected
[re: C.S. Lewis Carroll] In my defence, Lib started it.
[Raak] Mr Tumnus - Narnia - James McAvoy - Last King of Scotland
The Snark (who was a Boojum, you see)
[irach] is that 'Number 23... the Snark' ... 'Number 24 The Spanish Inquisition'
In the Alice books?
[irach] Not Tweedledum-diddle-dee.
[Projoy] Yes! From "Through The Looking Glass".
Hence also [INJ] Yes, and [everyone else] No.
The Carpenter (of Walrus and the Carpenter fame?)
Humpty Dumpty
(who I believe has a particular connection to a particular wall in Gloucester)
[irach] Not the Carpenter.
[Projoy] Not Humpty Dumpty.
One of the chess pieces?
The Red King?
The White Queen?
[I] Yes, one of the chess pieces.
[i] Not the Red King.
[P] Not the White Queen.
http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext91/lglass19.txt
A silly English kernnnnnnigget?
[ISP] Yes! But which one?
The White Knight?
Tho I'm not sure of the mineral connection. Is it the "design/To keep the Menai bridge from rust/By boiling it in wine"?
The knight who says 'Ni!'
[Projoy] That sounds tenuous and unhelpful to me.
In the interest of balance, I feel compelled to ask... the Black Knight?
[UK] It's just a flesh wound. What Black Knight? Have you confused Through the Looking Glass with Monty Python and the Holy Grail? If so, my fault.
I confess - I've never read the book... made an assumption based on chess that if there's a white knight, the should be a black knight. I suppose you're going to tell me it's red instead! :-)
Indeed it is, so either you or Projoy has won (unless there are other knights I didn't notice).
Technically, there are four knights, and the white one Alice meets, according to Carroll's detailed schema for the book, is the White King's knight. The other Knight is the Unicorn. On the red side, the Red Knight that the White Knight fights is also the King's knight, with the Carpenter as the Queen's Knight. (The Walrus is the Red Queen's bishop and the Lion is the Red King's rook).
(Incidentally, the White Knight has Hatta (the Mad Hatter from the first book) as his pawn)
[Projoy] It is indeed The White Knight, and you have correctly identified the tenuous and unhelpful connection with water-traversing constructions.
[UK] You must read it, and Alice in Wonderland forthwith!
OK. This one is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.
Something you would find in the home?
A model of a Modern Major-General?
Human animal?
Is the vegetable wood?
[ISP] Found in the home? NO
[Lib] Human? YES, but somewhat misleading
[irach] Vegetable wood? YES, but also somewhat misleading.
Is it a single thing or are there loads of them?
A grave?
[Lib] A single thing? NO
[Raak] A grave? NO, but that may be involved
[Lib] Single thing? Well, actually, YES, this is a single thing (there is not more than one of it), but then again, it isn't.
Heather Mills' prosthetic wooden leg/
[irach] NO :)
Is the mineral metal?
[Ig] YES, but somewhat misleading.
A coffin?
A collection of objects or people?
Scrap "coffin". Must've pressed the wrong button.
[Rosie] A collection of objects or people? YES! That should save a lot of misleading answers!
Life, the Universe and Everything?
A nation?
Delimited geographically?
[INJ] The whole caboodle? NO
[UK] A nation? NO
[INJ] Delimited geographically? YES *applause*
A graveyard?
[Raak] Thriller? NO
Tate Modern or simlah?
[ISP] Art gallery? NO
Do these people have some common interest?
Haven't heard caboodle since my Mum died. Or shemozzle, though I use it myself.
[Rosie] A common interest? ARGUABLY. More YES than NO, I'd say.
Is this some sort of educational institution?
[Chalky] Nursery, school, college, Uni etc.? NO
A place? Geographical-like?
A geographicalistical place? YES!
A large city?
Not Pontefract, for example.
In Europe?
A smallish location ( a single building/city block or smaller)?
Clarification required. When you answered 'yes' to 'Is the mineral metal?', did that mean that some of the mineral involved was metal, but not necessarily all?
[Rosie] Large city? NO
[Ig] European? YES
[INJ] Smallish? NO, as you define it.
Clarification: metal is involved, but also many other minerals; there is a similarly wide variety of vegetable and animal matter.
A population centre?
[ISP] Population centre? YES, if I've understood the terminology.
St Dogmaels?
Gone, but not forgotten.
In a BENELUX country?
By population centre I meant town, village etc.
[INJ] St Dogmaels? NO *some applause*
[ISP] Benelux? NO
In Wales?
Powys to the People?
[Raak] Wedi ei wneud yng Nghmru? YES! *more applause*
[ISP] In Powys? NO
In it to Gwynedd?
[ISP] Gwynedd? NA
In south Wales
With a questionmark?
Is there a Doctor Who connection?
The contents of the Torchwood vaults?
Can you wear it? [re: Torchwood] Shurely Cardiff is bigger than Pontefract, apart from the obvious 280000 more inhabitants.
A oes cysylltiad a'r Morniverse?
Sort that out, y' bugger. :-)
[Rosie] That;s never a direct translation of 'sort that out y'bugger'
(ISP) Dead right. Actually it means Is there a connection with the . . . . . ., for the benefit of all, esp. Projoy.
[Rosie] Ah, but connections with the Morniverse are myriad, just check the appendixes to your Stovold's.
Appendices!
[Ig] South Wales? NO
[UK] Doctor Who? NO (that I can think of)
[Raak] Torchwood connection? NO
[ISP] Can you wear it? Have you ever worn a population centre?
[Rosie] Connected with the Morniverse? Hey, that's the first time a word I coined (well, I think I coined it) has been used in a Welsh sentence. :) NO.
Centre for Alternative technology?
Random tourist attraction generator in action there.
[Lib] CAT? NO. Not in Powys (see response to ISP above).
On the coast?
[Ig] Going Coastal? YES
Near the Menai Bridge?
Is it in Ceredigion?
Portmeirion?
That was more action from the Random Tourist attraction generator.
Is the generally used name of English origin, eg Swansea?
(ISP) I can no longer even lift my copy of Stovold's without doing my back in.
[Raak] Near the Menai Bridge? YES *applause*
[Chalky] Ceredigion? NO
[Lib] The village? NO
[Rosie] Anglicised name? NO!
I think the next person should be able to nod this one in.
Wild stab in the dark... Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?
Can you wear it?
[Projoy] It's not CARDIGAN then.
[Uncle Korky] Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch? YDY!! One extremely lengthy baton handed over. [ISP] Ah!
Still feel a bit of a fraud & lurker... still, something to be said for being in the right place at the right time... OK - I'm thinking of something ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Fictional creature?
[UK] Fret not about lurking, you did ask a couple of questions before getting it - it's not as if the answer was your only contribution on our communal road to Anglesey via Pontefract and other major population centres in Western Europe.
[IS,P] NO. The more I think about what I've picked, the more uncertain I become with the definition at the top. Let's say... ABSTRACT, with an ANIMAL connection, and hope I don't get lynched.
Is it a creature as such, then?
Maybe I'll let someone else play in a bit.
[IS,P] NOT A CREATURE. Oh, you go for it! :-) At least no-one can suggest you've been lurking! lol
Re: At least no-one can suggest you've been lurking
... or working!
A symbol?
A Human Construct?
An edifice?
[Raak] NOT A SYMBOL
[Chalky] HUMAN CONSTRUCT? ERM... TECHNICALLY... although this could be misleading...
[IS,P] NOT AN EDIFICE
Mad Cow Disease?
Many instances of it?
Tennis Elbow?
A figure of speech?
[IS,P] MOO? NOO!
[Projoy] NO (but this also could be misleading...)
[Chalky] NO - not even Badminton Bottom
[Raak] NO
Is the Animal connection necessarily human?
[Rosie] The animal connection is DEFINITELY human.
Does it refer to something that occurs naturally?
[Projoy] NO *some chuckles from audience members*
An ailment of some kind?
Sex-related?
[IS,P] NO *further chuckles from cynical audience members*
[snorgle] NO - not that I've noticed, anyway...
Is this a GOOD thing, would you say?
[Korks] Could erm ... would ... um .. you kindly pop a word or two from the question next to your reply so we don't have to search back .. pretty please :-)
Clothing or accessory?
To do with belief?
Is this found in Britain?
Could you give me one?
A double entendre?
(forced)
Connected in any way with a piece of technology?
(INJ) Forced, my fifth metatarsal. You're only marginally less salacious than Lib, not that that's saying much.
[Rosie] You know me so well, and we've never properly met!
(Lib) Shall we nip off while Uncle Korky's not looking?
Apologies for absence - not getting online at weekends at the moment. [Chalky] Comments noted and agreed! [Rosie] Comment noted - see me after class!
[Chalky] A good thing? Very much a matter of opinion.
[ISP] Clothing / Accessory? Nope.
[Projoy] Belief? I don't wish to mislead you, but many would say it's more a matter of disbelief. I hope you'll see the humour in this when you know the answer!
[Irg] In UK? Sometimes...
[Lib]I'm not that kind of chap - you'd have to buy me dinner first! Oh... er... no! :-)
[INJ] Double entendre? Non!
[Rosie] Connected with technology? Not specifically.
Any religious connection?
[Irg] God-bothering? Nope.
Connected with fiction?
[Projoy] Fiction? No (sadly not, according to some)
Global-Warming deniers?
[Rosie] Global warming deniers? No. And, as a first clue, we're looking for something more frivolous.
Food- or drink-related?
Connected with the arts?
Connected with the Morniverse?
[Irg] Scoff/quaff? No.
[Projoy] Arty? Yes *applause*.
[IS,P] Morniversal? Nope.
Skulpchah?
A particular artwork?
[IS,P] Bust? Nope
[Projoy] You've been framed? Nope
A particular artform? (can include really crap ones!)
[Projoy] I feel it would be safer to describe it as an example of a particular artform...
An example of a particular artform which is not an artwork. Curiouser and curiouser.
Karaoke?
Connected with the Visual arts?
[Projoy] Empty orchestra? Nope, but the audience knows a positive change in direction when they see it!
[INJ] Visual arts? There is a connection...
The winning entry in the Eurovision Song Contest?
That's near enough for me! The answer on the card was The Eurovision Song Contest, so a frequently cheesy and tone-deaf is passed to Irouléguy by Terry Wogan!
Erm... the word "baton" should have appeared in that sentence... *slinks away embarrassed*
I've never understood the appeal of Eurovision, myself *ducks*.
O-OK, our next is ABSTRACT with strong MINERAL connections, possibly ANIMAL or VEGETABLE or BOTH
A human construct?
Does it have its own wikipedia entry?
The activities of a group of people?
(Irg) No need to duck. Even when "ah were a lad" I thought it pretty awful and that's going back a bit. It actually seems to have got worse over the years, something we then didn't think possible.
Fictional?
I Say, Porter! - A human construct? Possibly.
Projoy - Does it have its own wikipedia entry? *Googles, Wikis* Yes. The words on the card actually have several Wiki pages, and a disambiguation page, but not all of them refer to the actual answer.
Rosie - The activities of a group of people? Possibly in the future
Eurovision] Mind you, I didn't think heavy metal could get any worse either...
Tuj - Fictional? This exists in fiction, but it may not be fictional.
A process
Projoy - A process? In one sense, possibly (but I don't think that's very useful).
Religious?
Tuj - Religious? It might be (and in several fictional representations definitely is).
An icon?
I Say, Porter! - An icon? No, Cina.
Clarification - are the animal and/or vegetable aspects also "connections" or do they refer to The Answer itself?
The animal and/or vegetable aspects may be The Answer (though none of the words on the card are animal or vegetable names)
A biological classification?
Is it a three word answer?
Rosie - A biological classification? *applause* YES
Chalky - Is it a three word answer? *more applause* YES
As a further clarification, The Answer could also be neither animal nor vegetable.
Genetically Modified Goods?
Scrub that... Is it connected with cloning?
Projoy - Is it connected with cloning? It might be (that would have served as an answer to the GM question as well).
Single-celled organism?
(I know it isn't this, but just throwing a stone to see if it hits anything)
Genus, species, commonname?
Wouldn't even know where to begin with this one...!
(stealing an extra go as this one's so hard) Is it connected with mutation?
Is at least one of the words on the card Latin?
Projoy - Single-celled organism? It could be.
Lib - Genus, species, commonname? No to all
Uncle Korky - Wouldn't even know where to begin with this one...! The answer is a very common phrase, which I think everyone will recognise (not least because of its use in other contexts).
Projoy - Is it connected with mutation? It might be.
Rosie - Is at least one of the words on the card Latin? No - all plain English
Rosie] To be properly pedantic, one of the words is a Latin word which is in everyday use in English.
Something to do with alien life?
(It's not "little green men" as all three of those words are Germanic in origin).
Projoy - Something to do with alien life? *the audience begin humming John Williams tunes* YES
Extra Terrestrial Beings?
Unidentified Flying Objects?
Projoy - Extra Terrestrial Beings? Yes, but more specifically...
Raak - Unidentified Flying Objects? No
Invaders from Mars?
(or possibly just Life on Mars, I suppose.)
*Sailors fighting in the dancehall
Oh man, look at those cavemen go*
Life on Mars it is - which I thought would be got a lot sooner. Hopefully we'll grok the next one quicker...
Huzzah! I slightly carpet-bombed my way to that one, but I was bored at work today... Had a few abstracts lately, so here's an honest-to-goodness VEGETABLE
Actually, I just thought of a better one, which is NONE OF THE ABOVE
Gravity?
[Raak] Newton/Apple? NO
Can I hold it?
Is it a feeling or sensation of sorts?
[Lib] Can you hold it? NO
[irach] A feeling/sensation? NO
[Lib] There is an extremely unhelpful, but nonetheless plausible case in which one could be said to hold this thing, but NO is by far the best answer.
Nothing?
None of the above! I'd imagined that may be argued with.
A vacuum?
Not a Hoover, Dyson, Dustette, Electrolux Lite etc.
[Tuj] Nowt? NO
[Rosie] Vacuum? NO
Is it fictional?
Not Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract?
[UK] Fictional? NO, or 'twould be abstract
[Chalky] None of those.
[Chalky] If you put a gun to my head I might call it as "mineral-esque"
Is it on this planet?
[UK] On Earth? YES
Is it a form of energy?
Light?
[UK] Form of energy? YES, pretty much
[Néa] Light? YES, to an extent *applause for both questions*
A rainbow?
"My bowe betwene you and mee/in the fyrmamente shalbe"? NO
A photon?
[UK] Photon? NOT OHP.
Electromagnetic radiation?
Lightning?
Fire?
[UK] Good guess!
[rab] Electromagnetic radiation? IT IS INVOLVED...
[UK] Lightning? NO
[Tuj] Fire? YES, altho as this has been short, I shall be a stickler and note that that is not what's written on the card.
Is it all about elementary particles?
Well, everything is, but you know what I mean.
[Rosie] Elemental, my dear boson? YES, but Tuj pretty much has his finger on the answer. At this moment it's a mere matter of near-synonymity.
Flames?
A pestilential conflagration of vapours
[UK] Close enough. The words on the card are A Flame. Hands immolatory Olympic torch to Uncle Korky
[Projoy] Thanks, my good sir!
[Tuj] Apologies - seems I was more bored at work today than you!
Why do I do this? Win just before the weekend, when I won't be online 'til I'm back in the office at 8.30 on Monday? Never mind, it'll give you all a chance to get your thinking caps on again... This one's MINERAL.
A single specific object?
I am genuinely doing this in a (temporarily paused) meeting.
Naturally occurring?
[Raak] You think that's impressive? I frequently post to MC sites in meetings, even, occasionally, bi-lateral ones.
Ok, I am now posting from a meeting in progress.
Mainly metal?
Well, I'm posting, between shovelfuls, from the footplate of a large steam engine which I can hardly stand up on. Bloody railtours.
Well, I'M not even bothering to post a question - so there :)
(Chalks) Very sensible, m'dear. We could have a discussion on the likely subject in the light of UK's previous, the Eurovsion Song contest. As it's mineral shall a start the ball rolling by suggesting an OLD HEAVY CHINA TEAPOT, which could be hurled at the box during the broadcast of this ludicrous eisteddfod.
Potty syntax - "shall a" = "I shall".
Diamond?
It's got to come up one day.
edible?
Related to salt?
Why have I guessed three times? I dunno, I just felt like it.
Well, I'm not posting this from a meeting, it being Saturday morning, but I am listening to Radio 4 while riding a unicycle and cooking breakfast for four hundred Swedish Naval officers.
It's now Sunday and I'm posting this from the Dome of St. Paul's cathedral, where I'm wearing a "Kiss Me Slow" hat and blessing nearby paupers with holy porridge.
[Projoy] Yer mad you :-) AND why are you posting so early when we've all lost an hour's sleep? Talking of lost hours, which we weren't, but I'm going to anyway ... how long can I get away with the "oops sorry I'm late waking up/for work/cooking the dinner, but my head tells me it's still a whole hour earlier"?

This is AVMA, yes? I'm still not posting a question, so there.
[Chalky] The lost hour thing doesn't last for long I'm afraid. I was a particularly happy bunny as I was on nights this time (apart from the fact that it was over my birthday, so I had to work twice on said day) but I gained the short shift when 1am magically became 2am.
Can you hold it?
I am playing this game. All alone at the moment. Anyone want to play with me?
Okay, folks - weekend's over, and can give you my full attention once more:
[Raak] Single specified object? YES, but might be misleading
[Projoy] Naturally occurring? YES
[Rosie] Mainly metal? ERM... QUITE POSSIBLY. Teapot? ERM... NO
[Lib] Diamond? NO. Edible? NO (audience is amused). Related to salt? NO.
[Projoy] There's another 'AMVA game' on this site, y'know!
Smaller than a toaster?
Erm, still wondering if you can hold it...
[Lib]
[Lib] Smaller than a toaster? NO. Manually graspable? NO.
Larger than a phone box?
Size does matter!
Bigger than St. Paul's?
Bigger than Wales?
[Lib] Larger than a phone box? YES. Size matters? Hmmph. Well, I've never had any complaints...
[Raak] Bigger than St Paul's? YES
[Lib] Bigger than Wales? YES
The Earth?
[Lib] Terra firma? NO
The planet Mercury?
[Rosie] Mercury? NO
Part of the Earth?
Bigger than the moon?
[Raak] Part of the Earth? NO
[Lib] Bigger than the moon? YES
Bigger than the Earth?
I'm going to get its size eventually!
[Lib] Bigger than the Earth? I'd have to say YES, although (and this is a big game-ending clue) this would be AS A WHOLE...
The Universe?
Erm, sorry guys. I'm revising you see. Get easily distracted from the finer points of pharmacology.
[Lib] The whole caboodle? NO
The Kuiper belt?
The galaxy?
Is it gaseous?
Does it contain more mass than the earth?
*Wanders in. Remembers last time. Beats a hasty retreat.*
The (main) asteroid belt?
(According to Wikipedia, "The total mass of the Asteroid belt is estimated to be 3.0-3.6×1021 kilograms,[4][5] which is 4% of the Earth's Moon. Of that total mass, one-third is accounted for by Ceres alone.")
The moons of Jupiter?
[Raak] Kuiper belt? TOO FAR OUT, MAN...
[Lib] The Galaxy? NO
Tuj] Gaseous? NO (although probably depends on your sense of scale!)
[Rosie] More mass than the Earth? APPARENTLY NOT! Glad I didn't have to look that one up myself!
[Irouléguy] Tie 'em down, child! NO
[Projoy] The (main) asteroid belt? We have a winner! One knobbly and rock-encrusted baton passed on!
Just passing...
Oops, overslept this morning so only just saw this. I won't be able to check in until this evening, but in the meantime have this VEGETABLE
s/check in/check in again
Broccoli?
[Lib] George H. W. Bush's least favourite food? NO
Edible?
Manufactured?
Wooden?
Unique?
Fictional?
Now extinct?
[Ig] Edible? YES
[Lib] Manufactured? NO
[Raak] Wooden? NO
[Tuj] Unique? NO
[ISP] Fictional? NO
[UK] Extinct? NO
One vegetable or made of many?
[Lib] YES, er, NO... er...
Grown in Britain?
Common?
[Raak] Grown in Blighty? NO
[Lib] Common? DEPENDS, but not common in Britain, for example.
[Lib] Further clarification on your last. I was slightly fatuously pretending not to know what you meant as it wasn't a yes/no question. There is, however, a clear answer: ONE VEGETABLE.
A piece of fruit?
Have a banana.
Begins with P?
[Lib] Fruit? YES! *applause*
[Tuj] P-headed? NO
A berry?
[Ink] I come not to praise Caesar...? NO
pomegranite
pear
plum
peach
persimmon
paw-paw
papaya
pomelo
passion fruit
durian?
WHO BROUGHT THAT DURIAN IN HERE?


Grows on a tree? (rather than a bush/on the ground etc)

Inna bunch?
Mango?
[CdM] Durian? NO
[INJ] On a tree? NO
[Ink] Bunched? NO
[Lib] Mango? NO
Equal to or larger than your average avacado?
[Lib] >= avocado's number? NO
Is it eaten with its skin rather than peeled?
Is it a berry?
Grown in Europe?
[Lib] BZZZT!
Drat! I read PJ's reply, and I didn't think that berries were bunched so I got confused, I'll try again...

Does it have a stone?

Is it a dried fruit?
Avocado's Number. I like that. :-)
I Say, Porter!
[Lib] They're not, I think the BZZZT was for repetition of 'is it a berry' half an hour after Projoy had said 'no'.
Can it be eaten raw?
[Inks] skIn? NO
[UK] EU? NO
[Rosie] Dried? NO
[Ig] Edible raw? YES (I think).
Is it usually served as/in a drink?
Have you ever eaten one (or part of)?
Dr [Inks] ? NO
[Rosie] Have I eaten one? NO
Have I ever eaten one?
[CdM] I wouldn't put it past you.
originally from Africa?
Lib's question about being stoned still awaits an answer.
A tropical fuit?
Does it stink as badly as a durian?
Is it generally considered to be a suitable foodstuff for humans?
[Lib] Got stone? NO (sorry for delay)
[INJ] Out of Africa? YES
[Inks] Tropical? I THINK SO (arguable, I think)
[Raak] My dog's got no nose? NO
[UK] Fit for human consumption? YES.
Peanuts?
[INJ] See response to Tuj.
Does its plant have thorns?
Can't help myself...
[flerdle] Does it have runic letters on it? YES, and nice to see you back here.
:-)
pequi?
Don't really know what one of those is.
Ps. Hello flerdle. Lovely to see you.
[Lib] See response to Tuj :)
Bah!
Green when ripe?
[ISP] Green when ripe? NO
Is it a nut?
[I knew I should have said 'Ground Nuts')
orange colour?
[INJ] Nut? NOT
[Lib] orange? YES!
Mandarin?
Naartjie?
(though actually that grows on a tree)
Tangerine?
That's more african, I believe.
Something Cactussy?
[Lib] ... but not quite 'Tree-NO' or 'Thorns-YES'.
Hmmmm. Indeed. *strokes chin and ponders*
[Lib] Mandolin? NO
[INJ] Naartjie? NO
[Lib] Tangerine? NO
[ISP] Cactussy? NOT REALLY.
Thy search hath borne fruit
A recap: An edible fruit, native to Africa. It is orange (when ripe), grows on a bush, which boasts thorns, and does not begin with P. It is larger than an avocado and does not contain a stone. It is not a berry, nor, as a free clue, a citrus fruit.
Larger than an avacado?
I was working on smaller than...
Does it have pips?
If it does then I'll never eat it. I've got a mild phobia of pips. They're horrid! Keep them away from me.
[Lib, re size] That would be understandable, now that I come to realise that I clearly don't know the difference between < and > ! Curses, and apologies. In addition to being definitely larger than an avocado, it is not eaten with its skin and I'm not sure if it would be described as tropical, altho I can see reasons why it might.

[Lib] Pipped to the post? YES
Does it belong to the melon family?
Size certainly matters, as I'm sure you know! But its easy to get confused. I'm particularly bad at right and left, slightly concerning when I'm at work and these things matter!
[Lib] Of the House of Melon? YES! *muchos applause*
The orange melon?
[Raak] The Orange Melon? NO
Honeydew melon?
I'd like to retract that, Can I guess...

Canteloupe?

ah, size makes all the difference. p.s. you can get orange honeydews.
Is it grown in New Zealand?
[Lib] Honeydew or Canteloupe? NO
[flerdle] Grown in NZ? YES
Horned Melon?
[Lib] Horned Melon? (or Horny Melon, as I like to call it) YES!!. And just in time for me to get on a train to Manchester and disappear for a few hours. Apologies once again for misleading you all about the size. * hands bulbous, spiky baton to Lib*
*Wonders if she'll bump into Projoy tonight when she ventures into central Manchester for a concert...*
Right. ABSTRACT, MINERAL with possibly some ANIMAL thrown in.
Second thoughts. That one was crap....
ABSTRACT, with some ANIMAL and MINERAL.
A fictional thingy?
A hip operation?
A human concept
I keep using that, saw it first here, have no idea what it means really.
[IS,P] Totally fictitious? NO. [Rosie] Hip, Hip Horray? NO. [IS,P] Humane? YES.
Hmmm, missing some breaks I think. Will be better next time!
Can you tell us what the first one was without giving a clue to the second?
:P
Can I tell you what the first one was? YES
Partially ficitious?
[Pj] Slightly made up? YES, and NO. Sorry.
Connected with emotions?
[Pj] Feeling emotional? YES.
Positive emotions, particularly?
Is the mineral water?
[Pj] Positivity? Can't answer this, sorry.
[Rosie] Dihydrogen oxide? NO
Does it begin with an E?
Does it begin with P?
[Pj] On E? NO
[Tuj] Can I have a P please Bob? NO.
Is the animal bit human?
[Irouléguy] Humane? YES!
A theory or something theoretical?
[Tuj] That's the theory. NO
Is the mineral an artefact?
A particular class of thing?
[Irouléguy] artifactual? NO
[Projoy]Classy? NO, it is a specific thing, although still abstract!
Is confused about "fictitious no, but fictional yesandno"
is it art?
Is it to do with empathy?
[ISP] I feel your pain.
Art? YES.
Empathy? NO.

Clarification. Sorry to confuse you, I've confused myself too. so...
Fictional? (ie 1. the class of literature comprising works of imaginative narration, esp. in prose form. 2. works of this class, as novels or short stories: detective fiction. 3. something feigned, invented, or imagined. 4. the act of feigning, inventing, or imagining. 5. an imaginary thing or event, postulated for the purposes of argument or explanation.) NO
Fictitious? Having looked at many definitions, NO to most but YES to "imaginatively produced or set forth".

Sorry to get in a twist, hope this helps a little. (The dictionary definitions are to help my easily overwhelmed mind, as I know you are all far more eloquent than me!)

A particular artwork? Tracy Emin's Bed?
[ISP] One in particular? YES
Dirty sheets? NO
A piece of visual art?
[Irouléguy] Seen? NO
Heard?
[Irouléguy] Noisy? YES! *much applause from audience*
Classical music
A brass band?
Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band?
Sixties pop?
[Projoy] Classical? YES
[Rosie] Shiny brass? NO
[CdM] Lonely hearts? NO
[IS,P] 60s? NO
The Anvil Chorus?
[Raak] Anvil Chorus? NO
Pre-19th century?
Written for voices (with or without instruments)?
[Raak] Pre 1800? NO
[Projoy] Choral? NO
Geman composer?
[UK] Bratwurst? NO
The Planets?
[Raak] Holst's Finest? NO.
Owt to do with Edvard Greig?
[UK] Grieg-y baby? NO.
For brass? Thinking Libery Bell
[IS,P] Shiny brass? Still NO
Bugger. Missed Rosie's post. Sorry.
Brass?
Only joking. Italian composer?
[IS,P] Pizza maker? NO.
Despite all these NOs you really are quite close. I'm here for another twenty minutes then am going to be examined, so will be back drunk later.
English?
Cool! I want one of those examinations that gets you drunk. Are you studying to be a sommelier?
[IS,P] Her Majesty's finest? NO
The getting drunk time is after the exam. I suspect that during it wouldn't go down too well.
French? Is the nationality of the composer going to help?
Gotcha. Isn't April a bit early for exams?
[IS,P] Frog's legs? YES! It may help a little, but isn't the holy grail.
Not uni exams. Postgrad medical exams. Bloody hard ones at that too. I'm taking anaesthetic exams.
Claude Achille Debussy, died nineteen eighteen?
Anaesthetic exams
Shurely all exams are anaesthetic.
[IS,P] Debussy? NO
Indeed all exams induce somnolence.
Ravel and his sodding Bolero?
[IS,P] Sodding bolero? NO. God I hate that piece. The only cool bit is the gong at the end, and its a long 20 minute wait till that features.
Dukas and his Sorcerer's Apprentice?
Dominating this simply because you've only got ten minutes. Well, that's my excuse.
[IS,P] Fansatia? NO
Well, have a good exam. I've run out of ideas.
La Cathédrale Engloutie?
[Raak] Isn't that Debussy?
Jean-Michel Jarre? Oxygene?
Tubular Bells?
[Raak] LOOL. You're taking the mickey, right? Mike Oldfield's not French.
A member of Les Six?
I'm under the infulence. Head spinning. Exam over.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Can't manage more HTML than that. Sorry.
Died in C20th?
Still alive? Was it a practical exam?
Carnival of the Animals, Vegetables, Minerals and Abstracts?
[Projoy] Died 20C? YES!
[IS,P] Still alive? NO, dead. Animal carnival, very very warm.
Danse Macabre?
Erik Satie?
Saint-Saëns?
Is all Ravel out, or just Bolero? Might I suggest Ravel's "N'allez pas au bois d'Ormonde"?
Sorry for my absence. I had to go to work twice which was quite a shock to the system. You're all exceedingly warm, and I hope someone gets it in the next hour as I'm off to Wales for Easter. Anyway, enough chat, onto the matter in hand...
[Projoy] deatly dancing? NO
[Irouléguy] Eric the hungry catapiller NO.
[gil] The fantastic Camille Saint-Saëns? YES!!! But there's something else on the card.... Think BIG!
[StormWraith] Revels, anyone? Ravel is totally out.
Third Symphony, with its big throbbing organ?
[Projoy] Big organ goodness? YES!!! The exact words on the card are far more polite, briefly stating Saint-Saëns' Third symphony ("organ concerto"). Well done. *hands an organ pipe shaped baton back to Projoy*
Phew. Well, I don't expect this to take off as everyone's going to be disappearing off for the long weekend, but here's a VEGETABLE.
Is it alive?
[GL] It lives?! NO
edible?
Wooden?
[INJ] Eat Me! YES *applause*
[Rosie] Tree-born? NO
Exotic?
Typically eaten raw?
[Rosie] Exotic? NO *one or two audience members begin to applaud as you begin to talk but quickly stop themselves*
[CdM]Raw? NO (with some potential for quibbling).
Does it grow on trees?
Taking "not tree-born" above to mean not wooden.
[Rosie] Grows on trees? NO is by far the best answer. There's a defensible YES answer, tho.
Is it usually dried?
[Raak] Dried? NO
Edible part leafy?
[Rosie] It's all edible. No leaves involved. :)
A tomato?
[Rosie] Tomato? NO
Does it grow on a bush?
[Raak] George W? NO
Does it grow 'beneath' the soil?
A fungus?
Can I find it in Tesco?
[Chalky] Comes out of the ground? NO *some laughter from audience*
[Raak] Fungus? NO (ISTR a debate a while back about whether to count fungi as Vegetable. I'm in the "no" camp on that one, fwiw. :))
[ISP] Tescabile? YES!
Does it come in a variety of colours?
[Raak] Variety of colors? YES, as in, more than one.
Honey?
[Raak] Is there honey still for tea? NO
Is it solid?
...by which I mean rigid, pickuppable, even if it has voids within
[Raak] Solid? YES, in the sense you give.
Cabbage?
The most disgusting taste known to mankind.
[Rosie] Eat yer greens? NO
Normally eaten on its own?
[Ig] A solo dish? YES
Strong flavour?
[Lib] Strong flavour? This is subjective, but I would be inclined to say NO, on balance.
Is it primarily grain?
[Raak] With the grain? NO
Is it usually processed before being eaten (other than simply cooking)?
Does it feature in Peanuts round about this time of year?
Does it come in a bunch?
[Phil] Processed? YES! *applause*
[ISP] I don't read Peanuts, so I'm NOT SURE, but it wouldn't surprise me if that were so.
[Lib] Bunch? NO
From the genus Cucurbita?
[Ig] Cucurbita? NO
Dates?
[Rosie] Genus Calenda? NO
Easter eggs?
[Raak] Hoorah! YES!, the answer is "Easter Egg" (meaning the chocolate variety. I didn't include ANIMAL (milk) as I believe you can get dark chocolate eggs. *hands over bulbous, brown, slighly sticky baton to Raak*
The next one is M I N E R A L.
Stonehenge?
Diamond?
Solid?
Metal?
[Tuj] Not Stonehenge
[Lib] Not diamond.
[Projoy] Pickuppable, yes.
[Rosie] Primarily metal.
Peanuts
[Projoy] I was referring to the Great Pumpkin, and on reflection I'm not sure it's this time of year - I've a niggling voice in my head that suggests halloween.
[ISP] Not art.
Smaller than a toaster?
[Projoy] Smaller than a toaster.
Bigger than a matchbox?
A manufactured object?
Projoy - Bigger than a matchbox.
ImNotJohn - A manufactured object.
Matchboxes
Actually, it could be smaller than a matchbox, but not usually.
A child's toy?
A tool of some kind?
[ISP] Not a toy.
[Rosie] One would not ordinarily call it a tool.
A container?
A device?
[ISP] Not a container.
[ISP] YES! A device.
electronic?
[Projoy] Can be electronic.
Does it measure something?
Communication device?
[ISP] Yes, it measures something.
[Lib] Not a communication device.
A tape measure?
Weighing?
[Projoy] Not a tape measure.
[Lib] Does not weigh anything. Er, if you see what I mean.
Measures something invisible?
[Projoy] *applause* Yes, it measures something invisible.
Are most instances of it electronic these days?
A carbon monoxide detector?
[Projoy] Yes, usually electronic.
[Rosie] Not a carbon monoxide detector.
Measuring distances?
Measures some sort of radiation?
[I1] Not distances.
[I2] Not radiation.
Multimeter? Electricity meter?
A barometer?
[gil] Does not measure volts, amps, ohms, continuity, capacitance, impedance, hFE, diode leakage, or anything else electrical.
[Projoy] Not a barometer.
Used indoors?
Anemometer?
[ISP] Used indoors.
[Projoy] Not an anemonomometer.
Am I likely to own one?
Does it measure time?
A stopwatch?
[I] Quite likely to own one.
[P] *cheering* Yes, it measures time.
[P] Not a stopwatch.
An alarm clock?
[INJ] BRRRRRNNNNGGGG! It is indeed an alarm clock.
*applauds* That was a good one.
Ooooh
OK - I'm going out this evening, so you've got about half an hour and then a gap of 14 hours. This one is basically Mineral with Animal connections
Is it art?
Is it science?
[IS,P] Yes, but is it art? - NO
[Chalky] Science - NO (except in extremely broad uses of the term)
Is it found in the home?
[IS,P] domestic? - NO
Constructed?
[IS,P] constructed - YES
A single, specific object?
[IS,P] - zoo - NO
[PJ] one is one and all alone? - NO (they may not be legion, but there is more than one)
A building of some sort?
[IS,P] building - NO
A Henge?
Stonehenge, Brasshenge, Bakelitehenge etc.
[Rosie] hengist? - NO
Bigger than a phone box?
[Projoy] > phone box - YES
Bigger than a terraced house?
Something made largely of chalk?
[Projoy] 2 up 2 down - NO
[IS,P] Chalky - NO
Is it functional?
Is it specific to a particular country or culture?
Bigger than a shed?
Old, i.e. >500 yrs?
[IS,P] functional? - YES
[Irg] cultural specificity - Hmmm. YESish (but that's probably not going to help much)
[Projoy] > shed - YES
[Rosie] Old? - NO
Is it in a specific location?
Is there only one of it?
Generally lives outside?
Mostly metallic?
Too nice a day to be inside
[IS,P] In specific location - NO
[IS,P] Only one? - NO (see previous answer)
[Projoy] in the open air? - YES (some applause)
[Rosie] Mostly metallic? - YES (the 'basically mineral' description means that there will be some vegetable and animal, but not significant amounts)
Found in densely populated places or in the country?
A Henry Moore sculpture?
[Projoy] dense people - could be either, I've seen one in a densely populated area
[Raak] lots of brass - NO
Anything to do with transport?
[Raak] Transport? - YES (Applause)
A preserved steam engine?
A traction engine?
[Rosie] steam engine - NO
[Projoy] in traction? - NO
Essentially mobile?
For transporting people?
A milk float?
[Rosie] essentially Mobile - YES
[Irg] For transporting people? - YES
[Projoy] Erniemobile - NO
Does it carry just a single person?
Some sort of lorry?
[Raak] just for one - NO
[Projoy] Lorry - NO
Bus?
Client site all day today - don't know how often I'll get on here
[Projoy] bus - NO
A particular make/model of car?
Connected with farming?
Airborne?
Do it got wheels?
A hot air balloon?
Does it run on rails?
Does it run on cables?
Does it carry its own fuel with it?
Sorry - no access today until now
[Irg] particular make/model of car? - NO
[Projoy] agricultural - NO
[Rosie] Airborne - NO (some laughter)
[Projoy] Wheeled? - YES
[Lib] Montgolfière? - NO
[UK] on rails - NO
[Raak] wiry? - NO
[UK] Does it carry its own fuel with it? - YES
Military?
[Raak] military? - originally YES, but now usually NO(more audience applause)
A jeep?
[Phil] Jeep? - NO (I thought that would be the next guess)
A Hummer?
DUKW?
Motorbike and sidecar?
Scratch that. doesn't fit the 'bigger than a shed' criterion
Mobile Canteen?
One of those VW camper vans with the concertina top?
We have a winner
[Uncle Korky] - Well done. A DUKW it is!
The other answers are therefore obvious. I'm disappointed that no-one examined the animal connection, nor did I ever manage to answer both land and water transport.

One slightly damp baton handed on.

*is a little embarrassed at having lurked to victory again*
Sorry about this delay, but I've got a job interview this morning, which I need to concentrate on. I'll post your new clue when it's all over (probably about lunchtime).
[UK] Good Luck! Keep focused and you'll shine. I had an interview (in Cardiff of all places) yesterday and it was actually quite fun. (I know I am a strange thing.) It was fun because the topic for the presentation I was asked to prepare was 'me', and as I'm sure you all know I have no problems talking about myself! GOOD LUCK!!!! Or, hope it went well, if you've already done it.
DUKW
I have a feeling that Connie Booth would have been found not guilty in Holy Grail - they'd never prove she weighed the same as a DUKW.
[Lib] Cheers, m'dear! It went pretty well, and should hear by the end of the week. [IS,P] Perhaps my guess was inspired by knowing England were going to face South Africa later that day...
Anyway - a new clue... let's say... animal.
Alive?
The England cricket team?
Livin' Thing? YES
All out? NO
After a bit of thinking, I'll tinker with the classification to say that it's animal with an abstract element.
One of it?
A job title?
Singular? YES *applause*
Jobsworth? NO
Fictional?
You're making it up? You could argue this either way, he says enigmatically...
Human?
Homo sapiens? YES *applause*
is it art?
Art? Not even in the broadest or most generous uses of the term!
Is it an avatar?
Is this person a charlatan?
Mrs Trellis?
Ever been alive?
Avatar? I had to check the definition on this one: the only explanation I found was an earthly incarnation of a divine personage, so the answer to this is NO. However, I suspect this may not be what you meant...
Charlatan? NO.
Trellis? NO *some applause*
Ever been alive? You could argue this either way, he says enigmatically...
The lovely Samantha?
The invisible woman? NO *similar level of applause as before*, as I can see how you're thinking...
Male?
Blokeish? YES *applause*
Humph?
Lyttleton? NO *diminishing applause* I think you're getting misled by earlier applause...
Archie Andrews?
An educated guess? NO
Is heard on the radio?
An actor playing a role?
Aged under 40?
Sven?
Borat?
Mycroft?
Avatar
I was thinking 'graphical representation in a game of a real person'
Wireless? NO
Actor? NO
Under 40? YES
The rippling one? NO
Borat? NO
Mr Holmes snr? NO
Avatar II? NO - but the audience senses that IS,P is poking around the right area, and responds with appropriate *applause*.
Is this person advertising something?
Back after these important messages? NO
Is it 'Uncle Korky' - is what I was trying, and failing, to get at.
We have a winner! The very words on the card are "Uncle Korky", so one morniversal baton is well and truly passed on!
[uk] However did you think of that one?
The next one is Mineral. In the immortal words of Ron Pickering "away you go"
Unique?
[Tuj] One is one and all alone and evermore shall be so? NO
Metallic?
Useful?
[Tuj] Metallic YES
[Projoy] Useful? NOT AS SUCH
Bigger than a toaster?
Is it art?
[Tuj] Toastier than thou? YES [Korky] Art for Art's Sake? NOT AS SUCH
This is quite hard, isn't it? Ages since I did the setting for one of these.
Is it beautiful?
[Projoy] Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So... I wouldn't call it beautiful, whadda you think?
A work of architecture?
Is it bigger than the average garden shed?
[Raak] Millenium Tent? NO
[Uncle 'Two Sheds' Korky] NO.
Human-made?
[Projoy]A made thing? YES
Is it still manufactured nowadays?
[UK] Two questions in one? I'll choose to answer Is it manufactured. NO
Hmmm... Human-made - yet NOT manufactured... Is it a by-product?
All that is not unique is not manufactured.
[UK] Manufactured: to produce goods in large numbers, usually in a factory using machines.
Is it a by-product? Of what? The answer's NO anyway, I'm just curious.
I think my point is you can make more than one of a thing without manufacturing being involved at all.
... is going to sit in Place Luxembourg basking in the sunshine with a couple of cool beers ('cos it's Happy Hour - 2 for 1). Pissed if back later.
Are instances of this still being made?
(to re-pose the remainder of UK's question)
Is this specific to a particular culture or country?
[INJ] in production? The thing itself NO, images of the thing YES, in fact probably even manufactured (sorry, Korks).
[Irg]YES audience applause
Begins with P?
Bigger than a phone box?
[Tuj] P Please Bob? NO
[Pj] Between Phonebox and Shed? NO
Is it an implement?
[Kim] Implement? NO
Still confused... Is is hand-made?
Are the various instances of this essentially the same?
i.e. there is only one design and differences are due to variations in the making process.
Bigger than a tea-chest?
[UK] Handmade YES
[INJ] YES, recognisably similar.
[Pj] NO even smaller still than a tea chest. For free, it's larger than a tea caddy.
[ISP] We know it is. :) You already told us it's larger than a toaster :)
An example of a craft?
*quietly points out that, etymologically at least, the word "manufactured" means "hand-made"**
[Pj] Crafted? YES.
[Man-u-facture] Pardon me for using dictionaries to look up definitions. It won't happen again.
Is it light enough to be carried?
[UK] Portable? YES but unhelpful I expect. Not my first unhelpful answer, either.
A household item?
...however you wish to interpret that.
[Tuj] One in every home? NO
Does it belong outside?
Is the particular country/culture European?
Metal all the way through?
[Tuj] Out of doors? YES audience applause
[Irouléguy] Europe to something? YES indeed
[Projoy] Showing its mettle? YES more audience applause
Well done all three.
Street furniture?
Used in sport?
Red in colour?
[Pj] NOT street furniture.
[Irg] NOT used in sport
[Lib] Red? NOT AS SUCH.
A sculpture?
[CdM] Sculpted? YES audience goes wild. I still maintain that it is not ars gratia artis as such.
Does it have a purpose beyond aesthetics?
(particularly since you claim it is not beautiful)
[CdM] Purpose? YES it does indeed. (particularly since I think it's just a gimmicky piece of tat)
Is it painted?
[UK] Painted? NO
British?
Does it have moving parts?
[INJ] British? NO, foreign, I'm afraid.
[UK] NO. raucous audience laughter
Has discovered it's fun to say 'raucous'...
Does it convey information in some form?
*Blushing in the ridicule of the audience*
[UK] Info? NO.
PS it's not ridicule. You said 'parts'
Is it particularly British?
[IS,P] Ah! I just though I was being spectacularly wrong!
Keep up, UK!
... INJ asked that forty minutes ago. NO still.
Is it... British? NO - I'M KIDDING! Is it Italian?
OK - NOW I'm blushing!
Country specifics
[UK] Italian? NEANCHE.
The Manneken-Pis?
(although I'm not sure what its purpose would be)
We have a winner! The very words on the card are "Manneken Pis", and its purpose is "fountain" unless that counts as street furniture in which case its purpose is "tourist attraction", particularly with all the crappy shabby costumes they put on the nasty little sod. One manneken pis baton shaped like a corkscrew passed on! Thank god for that, the answering questions is much harder than the asking. I shall be sure to avoid getting anything right for the foreseeable future.
moving parts
[UK] It has water moving through its parts...
[IS,P] NOW I understand the merriment...!
Can't help thinking that your 'parts' hilarity contributed to CdM's victory. After all, it was the first real guess.
[IS,P] Yes, that audience reaction contributed, together with your location and your "gimmicky piece of tat" comment. OK, this one is

VEGETABLE and ABSTRACT
A turnip in the shape of a thingy
With acknowledgements to Richard Curtis
A work of art?
A wooden sculpture?
Fictional?
Carrot flavour?
Barry Took?
An English rose?
Triffids?
An auspicious start
Thingy-shaped neep? No.
Work of art? No.
Wooden sculpture? No.
Fictional? No.
Carrot flavour? No.
Barry Took? No.
English Rose? No.
Triffids? No.
Edible?
Is it manufactured?
*avoids stare from IS,P*
Edible? Yes. *some applause and a couple of giggles from the audience*
Manufactured? No.
A culinary masterpiece?
Customarily eaten?
Culinary masterpiece? No. *a few more giggles*
Customarily eaten? Either a definite yes, or a definite no. I think I need to ask you to rephrase the question. *much animated discussion in the audience*
Eaten intentionally?
(i.e. would someone order this in a restaurant)
Is it made to be eaten?
A deep-fried Mars bar?
Is it eaten customarily only in a particular area or region?
Eaten intentionally? Yes. (although you wouldn't order it in a restaurant as such)
Made to be eaten? Yes. (although it is not made as such)
A deep-fried Mars Bar? No.
Region-specific? No.
Eaten raw?
Raw? In part.
customarily drunk?
...or inhaled?
More than one veg?
[Chalks] Thought that first one was a description ;op
[ISPers] yes - the 3 words sit rather well together :-)
Is it normally an ingredient in other dishes?
Begins with P?
:)
Brown in colour?
Customarily drunk/inhaled? No.
More than one veg? Yes. *substantial audience applause*
An ingredient? No.
Begins with either A-O, or Q-Z? Yes.
Brown? In part, probably yes.
Vegemite?
Vegemite? No. (I think that would be more than brown "in part" :-) )
A salad?
Is it meant for human consumption?
[CdM] Was that a yes to my question or yours?
Shurely "a-o or q-z YES" = "P NO"...?
A salad? No. *scattered applause*
Meant for human consumption? Yes. *more giggles from the same impolite people who were giggling earlier*
Yes to my question or yours? Yes.
I remind you all that this is abstract as well as vegetable.
Small potatoes?
Are there any specific required components?
i.e. Must this always include say, a particular veg.
Small potatoes? No.
Specific required components? No. *audience applause and some laughter*
Humble pie?
Humble pie? No.
A mess of potage?
... our speciality, just aubergine and carnation petals ... with a six-shilling bottle of Mule du Pape ... Flanders & Swann
Meat-and-two-veg?
Fnarr Fnarr
Is this a figurative expression?
Normally eaten cold?
5 a day?
3 and in?
Fnarr Fnarr
Mess of pottage? No.?
Filet mignon a la Bearnaise, mousseline d'asperges and chips? No. *some audience laughter*
Figurative? No.
Revenge? No.
5 a day? No.
3 and in? No.
Is it defined by the absence of something?
Strawberry Tart without so much rat in it?
Defined by absence of something? Yes. *audience rises to feet and gives standing ovation*
Ratless tart? No.
"Yes - we have no bananas"?
Banananalessnessness? No.
is tofu involved?
Tofu involved? It certainly could be.
Vegetarian cuisine?
Vegetarian Cuisine? No. *audience erupts in rapturous cheers*
Associated with a particular country or culture?
[IS,P] True. But usually when you ask a question you expect it to be answered rather than its negative answered. I think my confusion was justified anyway.
Does it involve pastry?
Veganism?
The words on the card are "A Vegan Diet", but I think Projoy gets close enough. *Hands baton carved from sealbone to Projoy*
I tried a vegan diet, but they're really hard to kill.
And there was me about to guess fruitarianism...
Back in the hotseat again. Here's an honest-to-goodness ABSTRACT that shouldn't take a moment to guess.
Is it art?
[ISP] Turner-prizewinning? NO
Occurs naturally?
Fictional?
[ISP] Naturally occurring? YES
[UK] Fictional? DON'T KNOW
Self-referential?
Begins with P?
I was going to guess "The answer", but then I saw Raak's question :P
[Raak] Self-referential? NO
[Tuj] P? NO
(I should own up to entertaing some doubt as to whether this is wholly, or indeed at all abstract, but OTOH, it is definitely none of the other three - abstract is probably a more helpful category than none at all)
s/entertaing/entertaining
Is it a physical thing?
A measurement of some kind?
Anything to do with elementary particles?
a phenomenon of some kind?
[Raak] Physical? NO
[Tuj] Measurement? YES *applause*
[Rosie] To do with elementary particles? YES, I GUESS SO
[ISP] A phenumbenumenon? YES, I GUESS
That was a successful round.
Beaufort? Richter?
A measurement of something electrical?
To do with time?
[ISP] Beaufort, Richter? NO
[Raak] Something electrical? NO
[Lib] Time? YES *applause*
The number of vibrations of a cesium atom in one second?
Carbon dating?
[Raak] Wiggly Caesium? NO
[ISP] Carbon dating? NO
A Second?
A leap year?
A moment?
[Lib] A second? NO
[UK] Leap Year? NO
[Lib] A moment? YES, but that's not The Answer *significant and sustained applause*
The Planck time?
The moment of truth?
*sings "One moment in time..."* ?
[Raak] Planck time? NO
[Lib] Moment of truth? NO
[UK] Whitney Houston, we have a problem? NO
(espirit d'escalier: should have said "quick as a planck")
Half a mo?
[Raak] Half a mo? DEFINITELY NOT!
Is it a 3 - word answer?
sings: Magic moments....
A pause?
...
Something horrible and complicated to do with differential calculus?
[Chalky] 3 word answer? NO, less than
[ISP] Bacharach? NO
[Raak] Pause? NO
[ISP] Horrible and complicated? Probably horrible, but by no means complicated. No idea whether it involves calculus.
[Projoy] Shurely 'fewer than'
Fewer than three words rules out "No time Toulouse"
... and "That Condor Moment"
Does the word 'moment' appear on the card?
THIS moment?
[ISP] 'Moment' on card? NO
[Chalky] That moment? NO (not this one either)
big bang?
[ISP] Heavy fringe? NO
In retrospect, Raak's "Planck time" was entitled to some *hearty applause*.
The half-life of a radioactive atom?
[Rosie] Half-life? NO, not half anything.
Closing time?
[Raak] Closing time? NO *audience shivers slightly as the temperature drops*
Would putting 'moment' into a thesaurus help?
*tries that* No. Maybe in the future.
AArgghhh
That's not a guess. Its just my frustration as I feel I should be very close but I'm not.
Opening time?
[Raak] Opening time? *audience phones Mountain Rescue and prays for a St Bernard*
The Big Bang, i.e. the beginning of the Universe?
A tick?
[Rosie] The B of the Bang? NO
[Raak] Tick? NO *audience stirs as if they'd seen a crocus or a rosebud, or a robin on the wing*
(worries he's going to get roundly slated for this one, which he thought was reasonably heard-of, but now not so sure)
Raak has gotten the closest by far of anyone so far.
A tock?
Or Tock himself?
[Raak] Not a tock or Tock. Perhaps I shall be made to walk the Planck after all.
Two ticks?
A jiffy?
Are we anywhere warm?
Real time?
[Rosie] Two ticks? NO
[Lib] Jiffy? NO
[Lib] Warm? NOT REALLY :)
[Chalky] Real time? NO
Recap: It's a measurement of time, one that is definitely not a half-anything (except half of two of itself). It may or may not be fictional (thus the Planck time doesn't qualify, but is damned close), and may be described loosely as "a moment". If you don't get it from that, then I chose too obscurely. :)
*scratches head*
Full time?
[Raak] Full time? NO
Is it literally an instant, i.e. having no length?
[Rosie] A lengthless instant? NO *but audience breaks into wild cheering, stamping etc. Game on.*
So it has a defined lenght?
[Lib] Defined length? YES
scientific speak? eg. a parsec?
[Lib] Science Jargon? YES *applause*
Is the length of time very short (i.e. a small fraction of a second)?
[Rosie] Very short? YES! *applause*
nanosecond?
[Lib] Nanosecond? NO
is it 10 to the power -x of a second?
[Lib] 10^-n? NO
split second?
A 440 (one oscillation)?
Sueprluminar (i.e. faster than light)?
When you say it 'may or may not be fictional' is it something that has not yet been, or may never be, proven?
[Chalky] Split second? YEEES, I suppose so.
[Rosie] A440, NO
[ISP] Faster than light? NO
[ISP] Has not been/may never be proven? YES! *applause*
The end of the universe?
[Raak] Goodbye to all that? NO
Is it all relative?
The moment of religion, that divides the thought from the action?
[ISP] Relativity? Some might say quite the reverse!
[Raak] Religious moment? NO (don't forget this is quite specifically a measure of time with a particular length and is also scientific jargon)
A chronon?
(The maximum rate of thought being one psychon per chronon.)
[Raak] JUST IN TIME! It IS indeed a chronon, the proposed quantum of time, which is said (in one theory) to be 2x10−23 seconds - considerably longer than the Planck time and not strictly a second x 10-n. I apologise to those who are currently scratching their heads and going "a what?". I had heard of the chronon some years ago, and being an Arts Graduate, tend to assume that anything scientific that I've heard of has been heard of by everyone else at least ten years ago. However, the number of hits I belatedly googled on the topic suggest that perhaps it's not the household word I had at first supposed. I had every faith that Raak would get there eventually, tho! * hands the baton over to Raak so quickly that nobody sees it happen*
I've heard of Chronon the Barbarian... grone
(btw, another way of describing its length is 20 yoctoseconds)
I onyl know the chronon from the SF story "Gulf", by Robert Heinlein.

The next one is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and ABSTRACT.

Fictional?
[Projoy] Not fictional.
[ISP] Not art. (The audience is amused as it imagines an exhibit with this title.)
Occurs naturally?
[ISP] Not natural.
To do with food?
Manufactured using machines?
[Projoy] Nothing to do with food.
[ISP] Almost invariably.
A household item?
[I] Yes, although most households probably don't have one.
A luxury item?
Begins with P?
[CdM] Not a luxury item.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
A piece of furniture?
[Rosie] Not furniture.
A musical instrument?
Having at last got my nice Yamaha digital piano.
[Rosie] I can think of one musical piece where it might be used, but no, not a musical instrument.
Bigger than a toaster?
(trad)
[INJ] Bigger than a toaster.
Newfangled?
A gong?
[Projoy] Not at all newfangled.
[Rosie] Not a gong. That has rather wider musical applications than this does.
A snooker table?
[ISP] As used in Herblfrontwick's Concerto for Snooker Table and Cue Ball? No.
Does the "abstract" refer to a metaphorical meaning of this mineral and vegetable thing?
[CdM] Yes, metaphorical. (Actually, similitudinous, to be precise.)
Victorian?
[Projoy] Not specifically Victorian.
Is the vegetable component wood?
A useful item?
[CdM] Yes, wood.
[ISP] Yes, useful. *the audience approve of these steps along the path to truth*
A fitting (as opposed to furniture)?
A container of some kind?
Does it have moving parts?
[ISP] Not a fitting.
[Rosie] *applause* Part of it is a container.
[INJ] No moving parts.
bigger than a washing machine?
Does it function as a seat?
[Projoy] Smaller than a washing machine.
[Lib] Not a seat.
A tea-chest bass?
[Rosie] Neither a tea-chest bass, a kazoo, a mighty Wurlitzer, nor a bagpipe. The musical angle is really not going to be helpful.
Still widely used today?
[CdM] Still in use.
Is the mineral part metal?
A piece of equipment of some sort?
[INJ] Yes, metal.
[ISP] Yes, it's equipment.
To do with safety?
[Projoy] Not to do with safety.
Away in a Mangle?
Bum. That has moving parts. Scratch it.
Found in the kitchen?
[ISP] Not found in the kitchen.
Is the room in the house going to help? Found in the drawing room?
[ISP] It might. But it is not to be found in the drawing room.
In the Bathroom?
[Lib] Nor in the bathroom.
Downstairs (in a house, not a bungalow of average room structure)?
[Lib] Could be. I think "household item" was misleading, this is merely something you might have in your house. Or in other places.
That's all until this evening -- offline all day.
Is it a barrel of some sort?
[Chalky] Not a barrel.
Might you have it in your car?
[CdM] You might, if you were transporting it somewhere.
Does it come in more than one size?
[Lib] It could be of various sizes.

To recap and give a nudge into a more fruitful path: it's a container of things made of wood and metal, which features in a well-known simile, and which could be found in various places, including the home.

Is it made to hold one specific thing?
[Tuj] It holds one specific type of thing.
A wise old saw?
[Projoy] Er, saws don't contain anything.
[Projoy] Fair point.
[Projoy] *a ripple of interest in the audience* Not a saw, especially not a wise one.
Does it have a lid?
Is it hardware?
A hutch?
A box of tricks?
.. or something like
[Projoy] Probably doesn't have a lid.
[Projoy] *applause* Yes, hardware.
[Projoy] Not a hutch.
[Chalky] *for a moment the audience thought you were going to get it* Not a box of tricks.
The sharpest tool in the box?
[Projoy] *the audience are excited* Not the sharpest tool in the box.
A toolbox?
[Projoy] *applause* In a sense, yes.
Does either of the words "tool" or "box" appear on the card?
[Cdm] Yes.
Boxing Helena? Boxcar Willie? Box girder bridge? Jack-in-the-box?
[ISP] None of the above.
A jewellery box, a matchbox, Pandora's box, my kingdom for a box
Isn't 'not the sharpest tool in the box' more metaphor than simile?
"it's a container of things made of wood and metal"
Is it a container of things, made of wood and metal; or is it a container of things made of wood and metal?
[ISP] None of those either, including "not the sharpest tool in the box".
[ISP] It's a container of things made of wood and metal. What the container is made of isn't important.
Does the word "tool" appear on the card?
[Projoy] "Tool" does not appear on the card.

There are four words, including the indefinite article.

A box of hammers (as in "as dumb as")?
[Projoy] You are sharp as a tack. A box of hammers is the exact phrase on the card.
OK, here's a chance to go for something better known and redeem myself. ANIMAL
Giraffe?
The Archbishop of Canterbury?
Hmm, new one on me.
[Raak] Interestingly enough - googling " a box of ..." "simile" didn't produce 'hammers, which is a phrase I, personally, have never heard before [not that that is relevant because I've obviously led a sheltered life] - yet ... googling " as dumb as a box of hammers .. produced 1,040,000 results! < Thinks >*must learn to play this game betterer*
Edible?
Alive?
"A box of hammers" is not a phrase I have ever heard used by anyone in my long and not-exactly-sheltered life. Maybe the Yanks use it. Well, I'm not a Yank. As if there aren't countless other subjects that could have been used, the words of which exist in everyone's brain, it just being a question of having the inspiration to dig them out. The whole point of the game is that you don't have to Google it, the original game being live with no access to any source of knowledge. Box of Hammers. Stupid.
[Lib] Giraffe? NO
[Tuj] Primate? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO! *considerable laughter*
[Rosie] Alive? YES

[Rosie] While I had heard the expression 'box of hammers' somewhere in the dim and distant past, enough for me to consider worth googling it for credibility before making my guess, you didn't actually have to have heard of it in order to get the answer. Besides, this game (as CdM once pointed out) is different from the original, and both google, self-education and working outside one's comfort zone are much more part of its fabric. If that makes it harder for those good at rote memorisation of canonical knowledge and easier for those good at on-the-fly research then perhaps that's an unhappy circumstance, but it is at least an index of changes in the world around us! I tend to think it's a good thing, myself, but then I have succesfully googled/guessed quite a lot lately. :) Definitely would concede, having tested it, that chronon was very hard to google up without a fair amount of specialist knowledge and probably therefore inappropriate, but a box of hammers is a concept available to anyone who's heard of hammers and boxes. That said, I would say that my current one shouldn't require google (unless someone asks the wrong question, causing me to give a truthful but obscure and therefore counterintutive and hard-to-synthesise fact about the subject under question).
(Not that there's such a thing as a 'wrong' question in this game, obviously)
A specific, unique thing?
[Tuj] Specific, unique? NO
Does it have legs?
[Chalky] Leggy? YES
2 legs?
4 legs?
6 or more legs?
Legginess quotient? Two possible sets of answers. Either (ignoring the answer to Tuj's question) YES, NO, NO; or - taking Tuj's answer into account - NO, NO, YES
A grouping of animals - e.g. a flange of baboons?
[ISP] A grouping? YES, but not of the type given in your e.g.
Human race?
A group of humans?
Oh dear, did I cause some trouble? I'm confused, at least.
[ISP] Human race? NO
[Tuj] Group of humans? YES *applause*
Primate: no, human: yes. Now I'm confused too.
OK, got it now. It was Projoy's use of the term 'primate'.
Note to self: Read questions AND answers as answers alone may cause confusion.
Are these humans grouped together because of a shared interest?
[UK] A shared interest? YES
Is this interest politcal?
Is it a spiritual/religious interest?
Furries?
[UK] Political? NOT REALLY
[Chalky] Spiritual/Religious? YES! *applause*
[ISP] Furries? NO (my suspicion is that a lot of people would require google for furries!)
I used to Google for furries and then I discovered Smirnoff
A specific sect?
[ISP] A sect? DEPENDS ON POV.
(I would say "no", tho)
Scientologists?
(Projoy) If you have to look up the answer it's no longer a game but a research project brought about largely, I suspect, by the instant accessibility of Google and the desire of certain people to show their specialised knowledge. A bit puerile. It ought to be like the original, a test of general knowledge and the ability to quickly connect and recall what's already in you head. This is not the same as rote knowledge, BTW. So the game no longer depends on the ability to think but on the ability to look things up and is therefore no longer a game, or any fun, but tedious. I'll cross it off my list.
Cross it off your list
[Rosie] Whilst I am with you 100% in being irritated by the plethora of recent 'f**k me that was obscure' targets, I think that after you make your point, and people take it on board, you could enjoy the game once more and continue to contribute as fruitfully as you have in the past. (Hopes Projoy's religion is something that more than ten people have heard of). Please don't go!
[ISP] Scientology? NO.
[Rosie, simul'd by ISP, but since you commented again] I must admit that I find looking stuff up fun (and success in this is totally about ability to think), but I do agree that some of the reward of this game is in either making the right lateral connections to perceive what in retrospect is obvious. Perhaps it would jolly the game up if we swing back for a while to obvious subjects, having had some obscurities on the trot, but equally I can't see any harm in being a bit more tolerant of stuff that falls outside 'Rosie's general knowledge' but within, say, 'Raak's general knowledge' (a category of knowledge in which I for one have found much fascination over the years).
either
Harry H Krishna?
[ISP] Hare, Hare, while stocks last? NO
Quakers?
Is this a Christian group?
[ISP] Quakers? NO
[UK] Xian? NO
Druids?
The Peoples Temple?
Scientologists?
Paganism?
*thinks ISPers may have a short-term memory problem* :-)
[ISP] Druidity? NO
[Chalky] People's Princess Temple? NO
[ISP] Scientology? NO
[Chalky] Paganism? NO
Begins with P?
Better get that in while I can...
Humanism?
Scient.. Arse!
Hindus harmonizin' in the hall?
[Tuj] Parseeism (and its alliterative religions)? NO
[Chalky] Oh, the humanity! NO
[ISP] Hindus? NO
Buddhism?
Is this abstract as well as animal?
Did it start within the last 500 years?
[Rosie] "Dumb as a box of hammers" is a commonplace expression to me; it's difficult to know what will be commonplace to everyone.
Should we be concentrating on -isms?
simul ... What CdM asked.
Sun worshippers [with legs]?
[Chalky] Buddhism? NO
[CdM] Abstract? NO
[Raak] Last 500 years? NO
[Chalky] focusism? It might help you get there, but The Answer is not an ism.
[Chalky] Solarists? NO
Islam?
dumb as a box of... I always thought it was "dumb as a bag of spanners", but the collective wisdom of Google thinks otherwise.
[Ig] Islam? *standing ovation* That is not the answer on the card.
Could it be something as simple as 'Muslims'?
[Chalky] IT COULD **audience applause**
Never heard of 'em.
LOL
Easy-peasy :-)
Now this next one should be well within everybody's intellectual and cognisant reach. However, it may require a smidgin of websearchery as we draw closer to the solution - which is the way I enjoy playing this game.
M I N E R A L / A B S T R A C T
A figurative expression?
Is the mineral metal?
[Raak] Figurative? NO
[Irouléguy] Metal? Largely, NO [there may be traces]
Rock?
Is the mineral stone?
Oops. Misread Raak's simul. WHS.
[Raak, Projoy] Rocky/Stony stuff? YES, plenty of that
A single unique thing?
A work of art?
A human construct?
[Tuj] The one-and-only? YES
[Raak] Artwork? NO
[PJ] Human construct? NO
Naturally occurring?
Fictional?
A geographical feature?
[Projoy] Naturally occurring? YES
[Uncle Korkers] Fictional? NO
[Irouléguy] A geographical feature? Good question. I'm tempted to answer 'Yes' but in fact this is NOT a geographical feature
Does it have anything to do with molten rock?
Does it move?
[Uncle Korkster] Anything to do with molten rock? Yes, molten rock might be in amongst all this.
[PJ] Does it move? YES *audience starts to murmur*
Is this a description of a process?
The Marianas Trench?
A sand dune?
[Uncle Korkee] description of a process? NO
[Raak] The Marianas Trench? NO
[Projoy] A sand dune? NO
*audience goes quiet*
Is it biiiiiiiiiig?
[Projoy] Biiiiiiiiiiig? It's Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge! *audience cheers*
aside
I'm 'at home' today which is why I'm able to pay attention to my chairing duty. Haven't seen it in ages, but is anyone else watching 'Countdown'? There's a gargantuan bloke in place of the fragrant Suzie Dent. Wha ...?]
reply to aside
That's scandalous! I've spent years watching that show, just for Suzie Dent - she's seriously hot! OK, I do enjoy playing along as well...]
Is it on Earth?
At last! The key question.
[Uncly Kork] On Earth? NO *thunderous applause from audience*
The planet Gliese 581 c?
Is it actually a planet?
*smug*
[Raak] The Planet Gliese 581 c [rather than the star]? NO
[UK] A planet? Well, actually, NO
Is it in the Solar System?
A comet?
[Raak] In solar system? YES
[Projoy] A comet? NO
A satellite?
A dwarf planet?
[Raak] A satellite? YES
[Projoy] A dwarf planet? NO
A moon?
The moons of Jupiter?
[Projoy] A moon? YES *audience senses the end game is here and start to pay attention*
[Projoy] For pity's sake child - tie down the moons of Jupiter? er - NO
A moon of Saturn?
*The* Moon?
Enceladus?
[PJ] A moon of Saturn-and-there-are-plenty-to-choose from? Er - NO
[Raak] OUR moon? NO
[Uncly Korkass] Enceladus? I refer the honourary member to my previous reply which went PJ-wise :-)
Charon?
One of Mars'?
One of Neptune?
*no longer smug*
[Projoy] Charon? NO
[Tuj] Marses moonses? No, neither
[Uncle Korks] Neptune moon? YES!
Proteus?
Triton
There are only eleven others, so we're nearly there...
[Chalky] If you like, you can assume I will ask all the other questions. :)
Does it have a name?
Nereid?
What's in a name?
[Raak] They all seem to have names. Are you confusing Neptune with Jupiter/Saturn?
[Projoy] Proteus? NO
[Uncle Korks] Nereid? NO
[Raak] A name? YES because ..

*fanfare* The victory goes to I Say, Lurker who popped into this game just at the right time.
TRITON it is, Neptune's largest moon, the seventh largest in the solar system, and one that even I've heard of. Thanks Raak, Uncle Korky and Projoy for your sterling efforts :-)
Hey, Good Lurkin'
[Chalky] That'll teach me to take a day off work.
Another easy one? ANIMAL
Hang on a mo... looks up 'Abstract' in dictionary. Decides 'bollocks to it' and leaves it as is.
A single individual?
Human?
[ISP] Maybe it's that the Greek minor god of the Sea, Triton, is abstract?
[PJ] I wasn't thinking about Chalky's Abstract actual existing real satellite, but now you mention it...
[Raak] Single individual - YES
[Projoy] Human - YES. Told you it was easy.
Alive?
[UK] Living? Not as such.
Alive in the 20th Century?
[UK] Sorry, I meant 'Not alive as such'.
... enters into deep philosophical contemplation about whether he should have used 'Abstract'
Fictional?
[UK] Fictional - YES *applause*
Aha! British author?
Definitely abstract then, as I found out to my cost a few games back! :-)
Abstract schmabstract.
[UK] British Author? NO
I'm gonna let someone else have a go.
Jumping in!
Begins with a P? :D
\
Is the fiction set in the real world?
Does the character appear in more than one publication by the author?
Does this person originally appear in a book?
Is the character female?
[Tuj] What an unexpected question! P? - NO
[Raak] Real World? - I'll say a tentative NO to that one
[INJ] More than one publication? - YES
[UK] Book? "a set of pages that have been fastened together inside a cover to be read or written in" - YES
[Irg] Female? NO
Did this person first appear in print in the 20th century?
[UK] C20? YES
Is there more than one author overall?
[UK] +1 Author? - YES
Doctor Who?
[Raak] Time Lord? - NO
[Raak] Can't be - not a British author (see above). I'm going to have a wild stab in the dark at the answer (got a gut feeling...)
Is it Asterix?
[UK] Three points for a Gaul? NO
Bo**ox.
However... this doesn't mean my line of questioning is dead... Are the authors Goscinny & Uderzo?
[UK] Goscinny & Uderzo? Nope. That rules out Lucky Luke an' all.
Definite bo**ox.
Originally written in English?
[INJ] Written in English? YES
Have the works this character appears in been filmed?
[UK] Filmed? YES
A cartoon/comic/graphic novel character?
[Raak] cartoon/comic/graphic novel character - YES * thunderous applause *
... is off to dress rehearsal. Back tomorrow!
[Uncle Korky] re: Doctor Who and British Author. Don't forget that both Sydney Newman and Anthony Coburn were Australian! :)
[Projoy] Except for Sydney Newman, who was Canadian. But Korky's point was exactly that the roots of Dr Who are non-British. But, of course, the sixty thousand dollar question is "who cares?"
A Marvel character?
[Inks] Marvel? YES * audience applause *
Superman?
[Raak] Not Superman
Superman's DC comics, I think...
Spiderman?
although Peter Parker definitely begins with a P...
Captain America?
[CdM] Not Spidey, and not Peter Parker Picked A Peck Of Pickled Peppers
[Irg] Not Captain America.
One of the X-Men?
[Chalky] Not one of the X-Men, but we're certainly getting warmer by a process of elimination.
Conan the Barbarian?
[Chalky] Not Conan. I wasn't even aware he was a Marvel character.
British Author
[Projoy] I was talking nonsense earlier - rereading, Korky's point seems to indicate that Who had British roots, which is of course a load of dalek-poo.
The Hulk?
[Chalky] Rapturous applause from the crowd but it's not the name on the card!
The Incredible Hulk?
or Dr. Robert Bruce Banner?
AWOOOOOGAH! We have a winner. Dr. Robert Bruce Banner is the name on the card. One first edition grey baton still in the original wrapping passed on.
celebrating another lurker's victory
Cheers ISPers - and 'break a leg' this weekend. Naturally we shall want YouTube evidence.

V E G E T A B L E
Thanks Chalky! Dress rehearsal went well yesterday, which bodes badly for tonight.
Barry Took? oblig.
Wood?
edible?
[IS,P!] Barry Took? Nah :-)
[Projoy] Wood? No-o-o, not exactly, but you're on the right track
[ImNotJohn] edible? No

I won't be online much over the weekend, so apologies in advance
Something to do with corK?
[irach] CorK? No [nice to see you in here :)]
Paper?
smaller than a toaster?
[CdM] Paper? YES!
[Phil] Smaller than a toaster? Mmm - it can be
Paper with something written on it?
A specific piece of paper?
A single piece of paper?
[PJ] Paper with something written on it? Yes [and I know I should have added a tiny bit of M I N E R A L to the definition but I thought it might mislead, and also guessed that 'paper' would be arrived at fairly quickly]
[Tuj] A specific piece of paper? Don't know what you mean by 'specific' so I can't answer that.
[Raak] A single piece of paper? Yes, definitely
Laser display board used at the pilg?
The piece of paper Chamberlain 'had in his hand'?
*resuming normal service*
[Lib] Laser Display Board? :) No
[I Say, Porter!] Chamberlain's bit of paper? No
Is the writing "now wash your hands"?
A voting card?
A map?
Does the piece of paper have monetary implications?
[IS,P!] "Now wash your hands"? No
[Phil] A voting card? No
[Inkspot] A map? No
[Uncle Korks] Monetary implications? No
Is it in a museum?
Is it a piece of paper of historical significance?
A particular piece of paper?
A particular piece of paper being something specific like the Magna Carta, I would interpret a single peice of paper as something more general like a calender. just so I don't go too far off track
[Raak] In a museum? No. [for clarification: when I replied 'yes' to a 'single piece of paper' I meant that only one sheet of paper was involved, as opposed to a pamphlet, magazine or book]
[Kim] Historical significance? Yes
ah ...simul
[Inkspot] A particular piece of paper? Well, it's 'particular' in that it's a suitable subject for AVMA - but if you're asking if it's the one-and-only of its kind - then NO
20th Century?
Does the piece of paper have musical implications?
[IS,P!] 20th Century? Would you kindly frame your question in a more precise manner m'dear?
[Uncle Korky] Musicalimplications? No
Is it a famous printed text?
At last ! A question
[Projoy] Famous Printed Text? No
Is there something "artistic" on the paper?
Hello [Phil] "artistic"? Well, YES, there is a pictorial representation of something.
A cartoon?
[Projoy] A cartoon? No
Was it first printed before 1900?
Like a tube map?
Is the content of this piece of paper printed?
[IS,P] 'fraid we already know it's not a map.
A poster?
[UK] Arse! Not paying attention. Anyway, that'd also be a "famous printed text" which we know it 'aint.
[Inkspot] First printed before 1900? Yes
[ISPers] Wot UK said
[Uncly Korko] Is the content printed? For the most part, yes
[ISP!] A poster? No

It may be worth checking back on my reply to Inkspot's "Is it a particular piece of paper?" question
A certificate of some kind?
Is it a document of title?
Is it a Constitution or a Declaration of Independence?
Or a treaty of some kind...
OOOPS! Not famous. Bum. Probably no to both the above... OK I'm stuck.
[Uncle Korky] A certificate of some kind? YES!
[IS,P!] Constitution/Declaration/Treaty? No
Is this a specifically British document?
Some kind of award?
[Uncle Korky] Specifically British document? The one I'm thinking of IS - YES [although there are many other 'types']
[IS,P!] Award? No
A passport?
A legal document of some kind?
Scratch the 'passport' as it's no longer a single piece of paper.
Driving licence?
Is it money?
[IS,P!] Legal document of some kind? Yes
[UK] Driving licence? No
[Lib] Money? No
Birth/Marriage/Death certificate?
[IS,P!]Birth/Marriage/Death certificate? Yes
A Birth Certificate
Relating to a specific person?
A Death Certificate
Relating to a specific person?
A Marriage Certificate
Relating to two specific people (oblig.)
[IS,P!] A Birth Certificate? YES! Now how easy-peasy was that?

[As for relating to a specific person, I did try to steer you all towards the fact that there are literally millions of these].
AR*E!
Korky's Arse
[UK] As I did the one before Chalky's, why don't you do the next?
Does it look big in these?
[IS,P] Very kind of you, my dear sir, but I wouldn't want to steal your thunder. Nor would I want to play a game where I couldn't be a good loser. :-) Please go ahead, and I'll redouble my efforts this time!
Someone Post One Please
I'm off to Rome tomorrow morning for six full days, I therefore cede the initiative to whichever of you buggers gets in first.
Why didn't you say?!
Oh well, in that case... MINERAL & VEGETABLE
Is it art?
[IS,P] Oh, hello again! :-) NO, it's not art.
It's still not tomorrow morning yet.
Is the mineral rock?
Rocky! YES - well, one of them...
Is thevegetable wood?
Smaller than a toaster?
Normally found in the house?
Also contains metal?
Frying pan with a wooden handle?
Is this an object that we might all aspire to own?
A mass manufactured item?
Right... catch-up time!
[Raak] Woody? YES
[Tuj] Toaster or less? NO
[INJ] Domestic as a rule? NO
[Projoy] The clangy stuff? YES
[irach] Full-English equipment? NO
[Chalks] I Want One Of Those? QUITE POSSIBLY - MATTER OF PERSONAL TASTE
[Inkspot] Rolls off the conveyorbelt? I WOULD HAVE TO SAY... NO
Does it contain any moving parts?
[INJ] Mobile bits? YES applause
Does it have a definite 'use'?
[Chalky] Definite 'use'? YES
A tool of some sort?
[INJ] Tool? NO
Is the rocky part artificial, i.e. concrete, brick, etc.?
Smaller than a house?
[Raak] Two parts sand, etc? NO
[Tuj] Smaller than the average domicile? YES
Is it mobile?
Not necessarily under its own steam.
Bigger than a phonebox?
[INJ] Mobilty? NO
[Projoy] Size matters? YES - but not in all directions.
Bigger than a phonebox in more than one dimension? (not counting time!)
[Projoy] Dimension comparison: BIGGER IN TWO OUT OF THREE.
Is it a container?
Is it made of more than just wood, metal and stone?
Does it require power [ie.electricity] in order to function?
[Inkspot] What's in da box? NO
[Projoy] Ingredients? YES (Some may well have an additional ANIMAL component, but don't let this confuse you)
[Chalky] Plug it in? NO
Could you buy it as a single unit?
[Projoy] One at a time? YES
Does it have wheels?
[Lib] Let's go cruise the strip? USUALLY NOT (I'd consider them optional extras)
Is the purpose of the rock part to provide weight?
Is it's purpose to provide amusement?
Ouch! - sorry about the apostrophe.
Begins with P?
[Raak] Heaaavy, man? NO
[INJ] Playtime? YES *copious applause*
[Tuj] Snow, mushy or processed? NO
Would you find it at a funfair?
[Raak] This way to the egress? NO
Used in a competitive sport?
[INJ] They think it's all over? YES *standing ovation*
A curling stone?
[Raak] Giant's bathplug? NO
A goalpost?
Hmmm?
Well, I thought we were just about there, but I can't get it.
Used in competitive sport, larger than phone box in 2 of 3 dimensions, contains wood, metal, rock (plus other), has moving parts but not wheels, except as optional extra, does not require a power source, not mobile, not mass-manufactured(ish). I think when someone does get it, it will be obviously correct. A fair summary?
snooker table?
anthropomorphism
With balls, of course.
Pool table?
To cover that base as well (though I would say they are mass-manufactured)
I would also say that Pool Table could probably be judged to begin with P. Snooker table seems like a very good guess, though.
Billiard table?
[INJ] It is, indeed, a snooker table. Congrats, and please accept this cue-shaped baton! Comiserations to everyone else.
It's always a good idea to try to state the problem - it just came to me when I had written it all down.
The next one is ANIMAL
Alive, alive-o?
(What's the stone in a snooker table?)
OK, let's try writing down what we know so far. This one is animal.


Hmmmmm... Nope, still not coming to me.
[Projoy] Slate
Human?
[Projoy] kicking? - NO
[CdM] Human - YES
Male?
[Chalky] He-Man? - YES
Historical?
Did he die in the 20th century?
[Lib] been & gone? - YES
[Raak] died in C20 - NO
Royalty?
[Lib] crowned head? - YES (some murmurs in the audience)
British?
By this I mean bearer of the Brtish crown, as opposed to having had to have be born on this island.
arrow_circle_down
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