mc5 - AVMA Take 2

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AVMA Take 2

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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....

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Balaam's donkey?

[Né] Donkey, NO *an encouraging burst of applause from the audience (and the sounds of some members animatedly disputing the answer)*
[Raak] Balaam's D? NO

* a kind audience member comes to the front and drops the "a" back into Néa's name.*

Incidentally, these answers about media types are coming up as NO because that's the least misleading answer. In fact this character has almost certainly appeared (but not originated) in all of the above mentioned.

Muffin the Mule?

[Phil] Muffin, NO

A quick summary:

This ANIMAL/ABSTRACT is both human and not. There is a donkey connection. It is a specific male mammalian fictional character that talks. It has almost certainly appeared in, but was not originated in, the following media: TV, cartoons, song, radio, comics, computer animation, oral storytelling, books.
It is not a hobbit, a vampire, a centaur, Mr Spock or Balaam's Donkey.

Bottom?

*cheers*

[Raak] And the same to you! YES. The words on the card are "Nick Bottom, the weaver, while possessed of the head of an ass". Technically, or so I understand, asses and donkeys are not quite the same thing (the latter being the domesticated variety).

[Projoy] As it happens, I've just been reading a book on biological nomenclature and popular imagination in 18th and 19th century Britain, which I must post of elsewhere.

The next item is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and possibly also ANIMAL.

Does it occur naturally?

[Projoy] Does not occur naturally.

Bigger than an armchair?

An item of furniture?

[Tuj] Not bigger than an armchair.
[I] Not furniture

An item of clothing?

Electronic?

Defined by its function?

[Rosie] Not clothing.
[Tuj] Not electronic.
[Projoy] Not defined by its function.

Does it have a function?

[Projoy] Yes, it has a function.

Metallic?

Is the vegetable part processed like rubber or natural wood?

Is it something that can be made of different materials?

[Tuj] Not usually.
[Inkspot] On the whole, I would say no.
[Projoy] The mineral part can be.

Smaller than a toaster?

[Projoy] Smaller than a toaster.

Smaller than a pack of cards

Did it (or they) exist in 1938?

Even I didn't

[Projoy] Bigger than a pack of cards.
[Rosie] Existed in 1938.

Would it be found in the home?

Existed by 1900?

Stationery?

Is it a single unique item?

Anything to do with writing?

[Chalky] Yes, found in the home.
[Projoy] Yes, existed by 1900.
[Tuj] Not stationery.
[Inkspot] Not unique.
[Rosie] Nothing to do with writing.

Existed by 1800?

[Projoy] Yes, by 1800.

Is it generic item?

I would say a generic item (if that's the right term) is something like the wheel, a cup or a crown rather than an attributable invention?

[Inkspot] Yes, a generic item.

Does it have moving parts?

A container of some kind?

Spectacles?

[Projoy] No moving parts.
[Rosie] YES, partly.(Applause!)
[Chalky] Not spectacles.

Begins with a P?

[Tuj] (laughter from the audience at the double entendre) Does not begin with a pee.

Not a toliet is it?

Cuh!

[Tuj] Neither a toliet nor a toilet.

A handbag?

It is I, Rosie.

Usually made of plastic?

Was about to guess "pencil case", then looked at my last-but-one question.

[Rosie in drag] A HANDBAG???? No.
[Tuj] Can be plastic.
Saturday is the last day to get this, as I'm off for a week in the south of France Sunday morning.

Is there a food connection?

Is the mineral part glass?

Back in normal clothing.

[Projoy] Yes, a food connection.
[Rosie] (A sharp intake of breath) Not among civilised people. One has heard that they may do such things on the Continent.

Is the mineral china?

A gravy boat?

An appropriately snooty term.

[Inkspot] YES! (Almost always.)
[Rosie] No.

A cup of tea?

Oops - possibly also animal! (beef tea perhaps?)

A saucer?

[Tuj] A saucer is part of it.
[Dandalf] YES: a cup of tea. Actually, the words on the card are "a nice cup of tea", but that's close enough. (The possible animal part is the milk.)

Oh! just found out I'd won as I was away for weekend. (Kicks himself re milk, but no use crying etc.). Next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.

Begins with a P?

Hah!

Three-ring circus?

Is the animal human?

Human construct?

[Tuj]- P....? NO
[flerdle]- 0-0-0 circus? NO
[Rosie]- Human? Both human and non-human.
[CdM] HC? hmmmmm...I think YES.

Is it an action?

To do with the body?

[Inkspot]Not an action, but implies activity.
[Projoy]Only remotely to do with the body.

A condition?

A thought process?

Small pox?

[Projoy] Condition? Could be.
[Rosie] Thought Process? NO.
[Lib] Smallpox? Not a pox, whatever the size.

To do with emotion?

A person?

[Projoy] Emotion? NO
[Tuj]A person? NO

Bird flu?

Horse racing?

50-1

Any religious connection?

A bodily function?

Does it require human involvement?

Could someone define "human construct" please, I find these the marmite on toast of the game.

[Inkspot] Quick definition off the top of my head: something that could not exist without a conscious human mind. Others can now refine it: think of this as a wikidefinition.

[Lib] bird flu? NO
[Rosie]Horse Racing? NO (but audience breaks into applause)
[Tuj] NO religious connection
[INJ] Bodily function? NO
[Inkspot]Human involvement? YES

Is the word "horse" in the answer?

Is it a sporting activity?

Hunting?

[Tuj] No horse.
[Kim] Not a sporting activity, though one of the words on the card could be related to sports.
[Rosie] Not hunting.

Is the word 'race' on the card?

[CdM] YES (tumultous applause! Some murmuring that Dandalf gave the game away.)

A Caucus Race?

A one-man race?

Three legged race?

(The) Rat Race?

The human race?

A game face?

[Rosie] The Rat Race YES Well done! [Others} See above.

Ashton-under-Lyne

Right. Earwig-o. An easy one. Nothing whatever to do with the World Cup, or trombones, or steam engines, but nevertheless MINERAL

Non-metal?

(Dandalf) Sometimes non-metallic - not usually.

Begins with P?

A household object?

wahay - a Rosie one! Is it manufactured?

(Tuj) Does not begin with a P
(irach) Found in all households, I'd say
(Chalky) Manufactured - yes.

Does it require electric power?

Found primarily in the kitchen?

(Inkspot) Does not require electric power. *some audience amusement is discernible*
(Tuj) Not usually in the kitchen.

Does "all households" include those in mid- and/or low-income countries?

Is it found usually in the bathroom?

Larger than a toaster?

A mirror?

(CdM) "Households" really means those of the Western world.
(Kim) Unlikely in the bathroom, but possible.
(Dandalf) Larger than a toaster? Certainly in one dimension.
(Tuj) Not a mirror.

Is part of it made from glass?

(Inkspot) Contains no glass.

A piece of cutlery?

(irach) Not cutlery.

Functional (as opposed to primarily decorative)?

Longer than 1 metre?

To do with draperies?

(CdM) Very functional
(Dandalf) Not longer than 1 metre
(irach) Drapery-related? Yes. *considerable applause*

Towel-rail?

Curtain rod?

(Dandalf) Not a towel rail
(irach) Not a curtain rod. I have misled you with the previous answer. It's correct by a strict dictionary definition but misleading. So substitute "Not really". The audience are also dictionary pedants. Ignore them - at least this time.

Coat-hanger?

A COAT HANGER it is! How boring! That was too easy. Next time it will be something to do with steam engines, and not just any bloody steam engine, either. I jest, of course. Well done Dandalf, and over to you.

Well, well! Looks like its time for a hard nut to crack. Try this one - ANIMAL.

Human?

European?

alive?

Anything whatsoever to do with that Fußball Weltmeisterschaft caper?

Human? NO
European? NO
Alive? YES
WC caper connection? NO

Just realised I'll be away until Monday, so if you don't want to wait,we can suspend this and someone can start another in the meantime. Apologies

I'm back and in a position to respond!

A single specific animal?

A mamal?

[INJ] YES [Inkspot] NO

Or rather:
[INJ] YES
[Inkspot] NO

A reptile?

African?

In the news recently?

[Raak]Repile? NO
[Inkspot] African? YES but not exclusively.
[Rosie] In the news recently? Not that I know of.

A migratory bird?

Domesticated?

Dead?

An unladen African swallow?

(since you mentioned hard nuts to crack)

[Inkspot] Not a bird.
[Tuj] Not domesticated.
[Projoy] See above. Don't read anything into my nutty comment.

A fish?

[irach] A fish? YES. Applause, (a few murmurs of nothing much more left was there?)

Saltwater fish?

[irach]saltwater? YES

Shark?

*ahem* *indicates an unanswered question above*

Is a single specific animal someting like the horse called Orca or a specific species eg the lesser spotted Orca?

[irach] NOT a shark
[Raak] Oops. Sorry. Can be dead or alive.
[Inkspot] Not e.g. a fish called Wanda, not a spcific species but a particular genus.

A coelocanth?

Err...

Sorry, I'm a little confused. Is the answer a specific individual animal, per your answer to INJ, above, or a genus of animal? Isn't genus an abstract?

Fished for food?

[INJ] YES!!! Wow. Well done. Coelacanth (or coelocanth) Genus Latimeria which contains two species: the African L. chalumnae and L. menadoensis from Indonesia. Hope that clears up Kim's confusion. [Raak] The coelacanths is not considered a prime food fish but finds its way to fishmarkets, which is where the Indonesian species was discovered. (Thanks Wikipedia)

Well, what do you know?

I don't usually guess that early.

Here we go then, with ABSTRACT with animal connections

A character from a book?

The World Cup?

A particular species or genus of animal?

A living fossil?

[Inks] character from a book? - NO
[Iroul] World Cup? - NO
[Kim] particular species or genus of animal? - NO (but not every species)
[Dandalf] living fossil? - NO

Some subclass of the animal kingdom?

[Raak] Some subclass of the animal kingdom? - NO

Is the animal connection primate?

Is it related to time?

[irach] animal connection primate? - could be
[Inks] related to time? - YES (to some extent) small ripple of applause

To do with the Flood?

Chinese Calendar?

Anarcho-syndicalism?

I only put this up because the words appear in a letter in today's Grauniad relating to the Spanish Civil War and I know the subject fascinates you.

Anarcho-syndicalism, that is.

sorry - wall-to-wall meetings today

[Raak] the flood - NO
[Dandalf] Chinese Calendar? - NO
[Rosie] Anarcho-syndicalism? - NO (nor the Spanish Civil War FWIW)

An event?

[Inks] an event - NO (not a single event, which is my assumption of what you mean)

Evolution?

re - meetings. Thank You For Not Saying Back-To-Back.

Anything to do with huntin' and fishin'?

Are the animals all from one particular area of the world?

[Rosie] evolution - NO
[Dandalf] huntin' and fishin'? - NO (nor shootin')
[Iroul] Are the animals all from one particular area of the world? - NO (they may be, but don't have to be)

Associated with religion?

Does it have to do with generations?

Carbon dating?

Hibernation?

still cold

[Inks] Associated with religion? - NO
[Kim] Nothing to do with generations
[Raak] Carbon dating? - NO
[Dandalf] Hibernation? - NO

To do with agriculture?

Mating season?

Is this something animals do?

Is this particular to humans?

Are te animal featured in works of art (in the widest sense)?

[Raak] To do with agriculture? - NO
[Dandalf] To Mating season? - NO
[Rosie] Is this something animals do? - YES (animals are involved, but it's not an activity as such)
[Inks] Is this particular to humans? - NO
[Iroul] featured in works of art ? - NO

Sorry

I'm going to struggle to get online much for the next week or so.
I'm starting on a new client site, but won't get an internet connection until I've got a desk/workstation/signon sorted out, and then I don't know what I'll be able to access. Also you're nowhere near getting this, so it may be better to suspend it and go for another.

That's The Linesman BTW, and a leek-flavoured podume to anyone who can say it properly.

As Inkspot and I are the only ones to have got a YES in the last one and he's not here just now I'll start a fairly easy one.

It's MINERAL

Manmade?

Ball rolling.

Metal?

Made of one material?

[Rosie] I can say it, but probably not properly.

(Tuj) - Manmade, yes
(Chalky) Not metal
(Inkspot) Yes, more than one material You have obviously survived the attempt. :-)

Smaller than a toaster?

Solid?

(Tuj) As encountered, yes, but not necessarily
(Raak) Solid? Not always.

A household article?

Edible or Drinkable?

(Raak) Yes, but not really an article
(Chalky) Edible or drinkable? Yes, but don't try it..

Would this be a cleaning compound?

Usually found in a kitchen?

(Dujon) Not a cleaning compound *some just perceptible murmurs from the audience*
(Tuj) Probably not in a kitchen, but not impossible.

Bathroom?

Is it used as a spray?

Solid at room temperature?

(Tuj) Bathroom? Not usually.
(Inkspot) Not a spray
(Dandalf) Solid @ R.T.? Yes and no.

Some sort of fat or grease?

Is it for lubrication?

Does it do exactly what it says on the tin?

Train oil?

(Dandalf) Fat or grease? No
(Raak) Not for lubrication
(Irouléguy) It doesn't say what it does
(Projoy) Not train oil. (Haven't got a model railway. Honestly)

A detergent?

Ink?

Is part of it a container?

(Projoy) Not a detergent
(Raak) Not ink
(Inkspot) Not part of a container.

Polish?

(Raak) Not polish.

Does it begin with P?

[Rosie] You may have missed a capitalisation there.

(Tuj) Does not begin with a P.

Is it something solid that is disolved in a liquid before use?

An alcohol based concoction?

(Inkspot) No.
(Dujon) No alcohol, industrial, medicinal or recreational.

Is this usually produced from distillates of wood, coal, petroleum and their ilk? (That's it for today 'cos everyone else is in the land of nod).

Plant-related?

[Dujon] 'Fraid not.

(Dujon) YES, it's "chemical"
(Tuj) Not plant-related.

Silly putty?

(Raak) Not silly putty. Much more mainstream.

Sensible putty?

(Raak) Not putty of any kind, but a "sensible" substance nevertheless.

A polymeric material?

Is it something used as a filler or adhesive?

Candle wax?

(irach) YES *applause from knowledgable members of audience*
(Raak) YES *more applause*
(Dujon) Not candle wax.

Blu-tack?

Cyanoacrylate super glue?

Starch?

Silicone rubber?

Just a reminder to all that it's edible or drinkable, but not recommended!

[Dandalf] That doesn't rule out very much really...

(Tuj) Not Blu-tak
(irach) Not cyanoacrylate superglue
(Dandalf) Not starch
(Raak) Not silicone rubber

Polyfilla?

[Rosie] But... blu-tack... I'm in a blu-tack daze as I've just removed 325 bits of the stuff from the walls of my room at uni.

Caulk?

(Tuj) Not polyfilla
(irach) Not caulk.

The "word on the card" is a brand name but the generic term will do.

Bostik?

(Raak) Not Bostik

KY Jelly?

(irach) Not KY jelly. (See the YES's above)

Is it both a glue and a filler?

Sorry Rosie but seeking a clarification to the "or" question by Raak.

(Inkspot) Not both a glue and a filler. I'll tell you it's a glue. :-)

An edible or drinkable (though not recommended) mineral glue? I give up, unless "e or d" means physically capable of being ingested.

(Dandalf) I think you can take it that "not recommended" means it's not intended for ingestion. It was a joke. Sorry if you were misled. This stuff is pretty famous.

UHU Glue?

(Dandalf) Not UHU.

Araldite?

YES! Araldite it is. Everything I possess has got a dab of it somewhere. Well done, Raak. Over to you, squire.

ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections. This may be a difficult one, but it's in Wikipedia. Two words, no articles.

Birthday party?

[Tuj] (some applause from the audience) No.

connected to time in some way?

[CdM] Not really. It would be misleading to say "no", but not helpful to say "yes".

Is the animal connection human?

[I] Yes.

An organisation?

[Rosie] No.

Connected to celebration in some way?

A characteristic?

[CdM] Yes!
[Rosie] No.

Connected to marriage in some way?

Connected to a religion?

[Irouéguy] Er....yes, it is. (Laughter.)
[Inkspot] Yes.

Is the religion Christianity?

[Néa] No.

Is the religion Buddhism?

[Irouéguy] No.

Islam?

...why not keep going?

Zoroastrianism?

(Tuj) why not...?

[Tuj] No.
[irach] No.

Did the religion start in Asia?

Judaism?

[I] Yes.
[D] No.

A vow taken by a monk?

[I] No.
Summary: a celebration relating to humans, marriage, and a religion originating in Asia, excluding Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Zorro, or Judaism. Sort-of-ish-like connected with time. Not a birthday party, an organisation, a characteristic, or a vow.

Part of the Hindu ceremony?

Is the marriage element a real marriage (one person to another)?

[Inkspot] Not Hindu.
[Kim] No. Not a marriage, just a connection with marriage in general.

Is the religion Chinese?

[I] Not Chinese.

Is this some kind of Japanese ritual?

[Rosie](APPLAUSE!) Yes.

Does it happen annually?

Japanese Tea Ceremony?

[Tuj] Yes, annually.
[Projoy] Not the tea ceremony.

Rambling over Mount Fuji ?

[Inkspot] Not Mount Fuji.

Star festival (Tanabata)?

[I] Not Tanabata.

Shogatsu?

[R] Not Shogatsu.

Two words, remember, and some sort of connection to marriage.

Are the two words Japanese?

Is it a celebrated as national holiday?

[Ir] Both words are Japanese.
[In] Not a national holiday.

Hounen Matsuri?

*clutches at straws*

[Irouéguy] The ceremonial straw hat is yours! It is indeed Hounen Matsuri, the Penis Festival.

The what now? On the Wiki article I looked at, it was the harvest festival. Still, the article was just a stub…

Last minute change of plan - my original idea has unfortunate connotations, so our next is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.

[I] I had in mind the specific one held at Komaki. I hadn't noticed the more general harvest festival significance. See the usual nine syllables dot thoeny.com/peter/tagata/tagata1.html.

The Earth and all that treads upon it?

Salty bacon crisps?

A geographical feature?

irach] The Earth and all that treads upon it? No
Raak - Salty bacon crisps? Mmmmm...salty bacon crisps, but no
Chalky - A geographical feature? No :)

Raak] For fuck's saké! Imagine explaining a set of those to Customs.

Smaller than a toaster?

Animal human?

Is it one specific object?

[Irouéguy] Be sure to click onto the following pages to see the three-metre phallus processed through the streeets.

Tuj] Smaller than a toaster? Yes
Rosie] Animal human? No
Raak] Is it one specific object?No

I hadn't noticed there were more pages - I'll check them out when I'm home again.

Just in case there's any ambiguity, Raak's link is definitely NSFW, for almost all values of 'work'.

Is the animal part - part of an animal?

Can you buy it in the shops?

Chalky] Is the animal part - part of an animal? No
Raak] Can you buy it in the shops? In some shops (though mostly a shop isn't the first place you'd go for this).

Is it ornamental?

Is it used in the house?

Raak] Is it ornamental? No
Rosie] Is it used in the house? Hmmm...it can be, but mostly isn't (hesitation becaused 'use' isn't the verb you'd most associate with it).

If not "used", then eaten?

(Thanks for hint)

Rosie] If not "used", then eaten? *applause* Close - some people eat some of it, but 'eat' isn't the most juste either.

Is the mineral part a container?

A cocktail of some kind?

Raak] Is the mineral part a container? No
Rosie] A cocktail of some kind? Yes, but only in the sense of a mixture of different ingredients.

A medication of some kind?

Would it be on the menu of a restaurant?

A drink?

CdM - A medication of some kind? Some people use it for that, but strictly, no.
Inkspot - Would it be on the menu of a restaurant? Quite likely
Chalky - A drink? How kind - large G&T, please
*cheers* YES! It's a drink

An alcoholic drink?

A drink served hot?

Chalky] An alcoholic drink? No
Inkspot] A drink served hot? Yes

Capuccino?

A Meat and vegetable salted soup?

Minestrone? (with or without added croutons)

Bovril?

KA-CHING! Chalky wins! It's capuccino. One chocolate-sprinked low-fat baton handed over.

ooh thanks!

Sorry - haven't been around this weekend so have only just found out I'd won.
Moving swiftly on with ...
A N I M A L

Human?

[Raak] Human? YES

Female?

Alive?

David Beckham?

Currently in the news?

[Inkspot] Female? NO
[Tuj] Alive? YES
[Iroule] DB? NO
[Rosie] Currently in news? Not that I've noticed

A public figure?

[Raak] A public figure? Not sure what you mean.

British?

[Inks] British? YES

Well, a household name, then.

[Raak] Household name? I should imagine so. [I don't do wikiobscurity in this particular game]

A writer?

Sportsman?

Born after 1966?

[Rosie] A writer? NO
[Tuj] Sportsman? NO
[Inks] Born after 1966? YES

Musician?

Actor?

[Néa] Musician? No
[Raak] Actor? YES!!
Forgive me - I've been called into office to work today, so internet access may be sporadic ..

Has he played Doctor Who?

In a current TV series?

Daleks V Cybermen on Saturday for the series finale...brilliant!!

[Raak] Doctor Who? YES!
[Inkspot] Current? YES!!
Now I wonder who will get there first ...?
[..just as well this was so easy because I'm going to be too busy for the next couple of days to pay much attention]

David Tennant?

That's the man! Well played Inks. Timing is all. Over to you for something perhaps a little more challenging?

Yay!! Thank you Chalky

Not too challenging, MINERAL

Metallic?

Man-made?

[irach]Metallic - No is the literal answer (slight giggling from some of the audience)
[Tuj]Man-made - YES

Polymeric?

A household object/substance?

"Instant Nails"?

[irach] - Polymeric? NO
[Rosie] - A household object/substance? NO
[Raak] - "Instant Nails"? NO

Made from a single substance?

[ImNotJohn]Made from a single substance? No

A single object?

To do with transport?

[CdM ] A single object? No (some unhappy audience murmmering)
[Raak] To do with transport? Yes (applause)

Begins with a P?

Tarmac?

[Tuj] Begins with a P? No
[Raak] Tarmac? Yes (more applause)

A road?

[Raak]A road? Yes (applause, the audience excited but are still sat down)

The motorway network?

A specific road?

A dual carriageway?

The Golden Mile?

A runway?

Silver Street?

[Rosie] The motorway network? No (and the audience go ohhhhhh!)
irach - A specific road? Yes (audience cheer)
Raak - A dual carriageway?No
Projoy - The Golden Mile?No
Kim - A runway? No
Projoy - Silver Street?No

The M25?

[Raak] The M25? No (There's a sharp in take of breath as the audience lean forward)

The M1?

M62?

[Dandalf]The M1?No
[Tuj] M62? No

Does it begin with an M?

The Channel Tunnel?

Is it, at least mostly, in the south of England?

The M2?

The M11?

[Raak]Does it begin with an M? Yes
[Lurking Chalky]The Channel Tunnel? No
[Rosie]Is it, at least mostly, in the south of England? Yes and partly (seven of the audience get up for a leek)
[Phil] The M2? No
[Irouléguy] The M11? No

Is the rest of it a number?

[Raak] Is the rest of it a number? Yes (audience are restless)

The M4?

YES, well done Cdm it is the M4. The baton is yours.

That was a lurker's victory if ever there was one. All right, this next one is
ABSTRACT

Anarcho-syndicalism?

Linguistics?

AS? No.
Linguistics? No (but a smattering of applause).

A particular language?

Particular language? No.

About the written word?

A saying or phrase?

About written word? Yes.
Saying or phrase? No (some muttering in the audience).

something that appears in the vast majority of known languages?

In vast majority of known languages? Yes.

A figure of speech?

Figure of speech? No.

jinnan tonyx?

An alphabet or other system of writing?

Universal beverage? No.
ABCs? No.

related to grammar?

Grammar-related? No.

Punctuation?

Is the answer on the card one word?

Diacritical characters?

Punctuation? No.
One word? One word plus an indefinite article.
Diacriticals? No.

some sort of metadata?

Related to pronunciation?

An idiom?

metadata? No.
pronunciation-related? Noo.
idiom? No.

a particular word?

Particular word? No.

A diary?

Long shot.

Diary? No.

Is this a property of a single word (not necessarily a particular one)?

Property of a single word? It could be.

A cliché?

clich&eacuate;? No, no, a thousand times, no.

*sigh*

Is it a metaphor?

Is it to do only with the written word (and not at all with the spoken)?

metaphor? No.
written rather than spoken word? Yes. *applause*

A misspelling?

Misspelling? Non.

An alphabet?

*points at earlier question from Sweden*

An abbreviation?

abbreviation? N.

A heading (eg chapter or paragraph)?

Heading? No.

cursivity (or whatever its called)?

Cursives? Foiled again.

Calligraphy?

To do with computer-mediated communication?

Single-minded? Me?

calligraphy? No.
CMC? No. *after a moment, there are some chuckles in the audience*
One clarification: When asked if this was a property of a single word, I replied "it could be". However, I should probably have made it clear that it need not be, and is not usually so. Also it is not so much the "property" of a word or phrase as a definition of a kind of word or phrase.

An abbreviation?

*paeqfI*

A font?

Most frequently seen in a public space?

font? No.
Most frequently seen in a public space? No, although certainly sometimes seen in a public space.

An inscription of some sort?

inscription? No. (although the aforementioned instances in public spaces would typically be)

An epitaph?

A mobile phone text message?

epitaph? RIP.
txt msg? :-( !! LOL!!!!!
Clarification of my clarification: the words on the card are not a "property" as such but they do imply a property. If you see what I mean. I have probably said too much.

A rebus?

A foreignism?

Rebus, foreignism? 9!

a neologism?

Actually, forget that, not limited to written language.

Something to do with law?

Did it exist in the nineteenth century?

A label?

To do with law? No.
Did it exist in 19th Century? Yes.
Label? No.

A signature?

signature? No.

To summarize what you know so far.

There are two words on the card, of which one is an indefinite article. The answer on the card concerns the written, not the spoken, word. It appears in the vast majority of known languages, it existed in the 19th century, and it is sometimes, though not most frequently, seen in a public space. It could, though need not, be the property of a particular word (subject to the caveat that the words on the card define a property but are not a 'property' as such).

It is not: anarcho-syndicalism, linguistics, a particular language, a saying or phrase, a figure of speech, a G&T (in any language), an alphabet or writing system, related to grammar, punctuation, diacritical characters, metadata, related to pronunciation, an idiom, a diary, a particular word, a cliché, a metaphor, a misspelling, an abbreviation, a heading, cursivity, calligraphy, to do with computer-mediated-communication, a font, an epitaph, a text message, a rebus, a foreignism, a neologism, to do with the law, a label, or a signature.

Reading that through, the only thing that is perhaps misleading is the 'phrase or saying' answer. Just as the answer could (but need not) be a word, so it could also (but need not) be a phrase.

A sentence?

Sentence? No. But see "word" and "phrase" above. (Oh, and missing from my summary: it is also not an inscription.)

A quotation?

a caption?

quotation? "No."
caption? No.

A majuscule?

majuscule? no.

Does it have anything to do with religion?

Does it have to do with literature?

religion? No.
literature? No, except very tangentially.

Is there a particular subject matter for the writing?

Was it around in the 1500s?

Particular subject matter? Definitely not.
Around in 1500s? Yes.

Does this exist in ideographic languages (eg Chinese, Japanese)?

Does it rely on the existence of printing?

A letter? (Communication, not alphabet.)

Does this exist in ideographic languages? Yes, although it is arguably somewhat different in those languages. *audience applauds the question*
Rely on printing? No.
A letter? Dear Raak. No. Love, CdM.

Does it have anything to do with alphabetical order?

deorr? No. (nevertheless, a smattering of applause)

A word square?

WO
R D ? No. (the audience, which had been looking anxiously at the door waiting for Tuj, begins to sit up and take notice)

A crossword?

Crossword? F*ck No! (oblig.)

A palindrome?

Anagram?

Begins with a P?

Who, me?

A smiley?

Not a bad draw, all. I'll award da baton.

The correct answer is indeed A PALINDROME.

...and double drat.

Phew. The next item is M I N E R A L

Sorry, I keep on thinking that FFFFFF is the black end of the color space. The next word is M I N E R A L. (No significance in the charcoal grey colour.)

Is it an invention?

[Inkspot] Yes, an invention.

Invented prior to 1700?
(Btw, I am glad Raak got that last one; he put in most of the heavy lifting, and got closest. I thought it would fall much more quickly, particularly since written word was identified so quickly.)

[CdM] Not invented prior to 1700. (Discontented murmuring from some of the audience who think they know the history of this thing. The laser display board explains the ruling to them.)

Was it invented in Britain?

CdM] Thanks - one of the most enjoyable for a long time

[I] Not invented in Britain. (It's not clear from Google exactly who invented it or exactly when, but I'm going with the most likely suspect.)

A battery?

Long shot.

Invented in the 20th Century?

[R] Not a battery.
[K] Not invented in the 20th Century.

Does it require electric power?

[I] Does not require electric power.

Used in the home?

[Projoy] Not normally used in the home.

Metallic?

Used on a ship?

Am I likely to own one? or want to own one if I don't already?

[Projoy] Could be used on a ship.
[Lib] You likely to own one? I think not. You want to own one? Not that I know of, at least, not in the capacity of a nurse or a singer.

*ahem* Or doctor.

[Projoy] Apols to Lib. A doctor, qua doctor, would not be likely to have one of these either.

Begins with a P?

[Raak] You appear to have missed irach.

[irach] Not normally metallic.
[Tuj] Does not begin with a P.

Is it used in retailing?

[I] Not used in retailing.

Made of glass?

[Inkspot] Not made of glass.

Related to travel?

Used by a particular profession or trade?

[Projoy] Unrelated to travel.
[I] Yes! Used by a particular profession or trade.

Is it smaller than a toaster?

A tool of some kind?

Made of plastic?

A musical instrument?

Part of it a liquid?

[C] Smaller than a toaster.
[R] Yes, broadly speaking.
[C] Can be made of plastic.
[I] Musical instrument? Er. Yes and no.
[I] No liquids involved.

Is it a tool used in the arts?

Bigger than a pack of cards?

[irach] Used in the arts. applause
[Projoy] Difficult to compare them.

Paintbrush?

[irach] Not a paintbrush.

A comb?

Used in the performing arts, as in dance?

[Rosie] Not a comb.
[irach] Used in the performing arts.

A dance acessory?

[irach] Not a dance accessory.

A drumstick?

[Rosie] Not a drumstick.

Is it used onstage during a performance?

A Swanee Whistle?

[Inkspot] Yes, used onstage.
[INJ] Oo ooooo-oooo OOOO-oo? Nooo.

Conductor's baton

(actually, probably not, cos they tend to have a cork end)

With or without cork, Projoy is correct: a conductor's baton. (Invented, or at least popularised, by Louis Spohr in the 1820's.)

Oh, right-oh, then. MINERAL (maybe the odd trace of the other two, but MINERAL is by far the most sensible category)

Actually MINERAL/ABSTRACT.

A work of art?

Involves gold?

[Raak] Work of art, NO (*the merest momentary demurring murmur from just one audience member*)
[irach] Involves gold? NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE

A coin?

Metallic?

[Raak] A coin? NO
[irach] Metallic? YES, PARTIALLY

Manufactured?

[Rosie] Manufactured? YES

Does it have moving parts?

Invented since 1900?

[Inkspot] Moving Parts - YES
[INJ] Since 1900? YES

[INJ] There are two possible answers to that question, although as it happens they are both YES.

A computer?

[irach] A computer? YES *significant applause from audience*

Designed by Babbage?

[Raak] Babbage? NO (except inasmuch as all computers are)

Invented since the 2900?

I've worked on programs written for International Computers and Tabulators machines

Hmm..

[INJ] Invented since the 2900. This time the two answers bifurcate: YES and NO.

The computer HAL in 2001:A Space Odyssey?

Fictional?

[Tuj] Yes, fictional, and
[irach, who is clearly on the same astral wavelength as me today] HAL 9000? YES *audience applause*

*looks suspiciously at the monolith behind irach*

Coincidentally, I was listening to the theme music of the movie on the radio when I made my guess...Even more psychic!
The next one is very simply ANIMAL.

A person?

Alive?

A specific individual?

[Inkspot] No.
[Rosie] Yes or No.
[Raak] No.

Native to a region of the world?

[Inkspot] Fairly widespread globally.

Four-legged?

[Raak] No.

Three-legged

It's a process of deduction.

[Projoy] No.

A mammal?

[Inkspot] No.

Any legs at all?

A virus?

[Raak] No legs at all.
[Inkspot] Not a virus. Quite macroscopic.

Part of an animal?

[Rosie] No, the whole animal.

A fish?

A reptile?

A snake?

[Irouleguy] Yes ! A Fish!
[Inkspot] By deduction from comment to Irouleguy, NO.
[Tuj] ibid.

A freshwater fish?

Can a fully-grown one exceed 1 metre in length?

Cod?

A shellfish?

[Inkspot] No.
[ImNotJohn] Quite possibly.
[Irouleguy] No, not cod.
[Chalky] Not shellfish.

A deep sea fish?

[Inkspot] According to Wikipedia, not necessarily exclusively a deep sea fish.

Do we routinely catch it and eat it?

[Rosie] While I have never caught one (and I kind of doubt you have), it IS routinely caught and eaten.

Shark?

[Raak] No, not shark.

Squid?

[Projoy] Not a squid (No legs, remember? Not even a multiple-amputee squid). Think Phylum Pisces.

Squid have tentacles! :P

[Projoy] Squid are in the order Decapodiformes which literally means ten-legged, although you are correct in that the tentacles do not function really efficiently as legs. Neither do the legs on a two-legged stool. : )

Tuna?

[Inkspot] Not tuna.

Some sort of ray?

[irach] Just cos the Greeks got it wrong is no reason to perpetuate the error. :) Interestingly, Wikipedia refers to them as "arms".

A skate?

Not a skate.

Would I be likely to find it at the fish counter in the supermarket?

[Raak] Very likely to find it at the fish counter.

Some sort of ray?

[Projoy] Not a ray.

A ray-finned fish?

[Inkpot] Yes, a ray-finned fish (Class Actinopterygii).

A Salmon?

[Inkspot] Not salmon.

Haddock?

Cod?

[Irouleguy] Not haddock.
[inkspot] Not cod.

Herring?

Mullet

[Phil] Not herring.
[Inkspot] Not mullet, either.

Is this normally found in the waters around Britain?

Of the super order Acanthopterygii form the class Actinopterygii ?

Of the super order Paracanthopterygii form the class Actinopterygii?

While it is quiet ....

Of the super order Protacanthopterygii form the class Actinopterygii?

Of the super order Ostariophysi form the class Actinopterygii?

[Irouleguy] Certainly found in the North Atlantic Ocean and the North Sea.

[Inkspot] Actinopterygii, yes, but not any of the orders mentioned.

(Time for a clue?)

[Inkspot] I retract my former comment to you. It should have been a "Yes" to Superorder Acanthopterygii.

Plaice?

[Irouleguy] Getting much warmer, but no. [The audience is on tenterhooks].

Swordfish?

That was me.

Sole?

[Chalky] No.
[Inkspot] Very warm, but not quite there. [the audience's sole response is to stand in plaice, and some begin applauding the fact that the net is finally cast in the right direction to bring in the big fish].

Gosh - the anticipation is killing me ...

Flounder?

[CdM]. Yes, flounder it is. Actually the word on the card I was looking for was "Halibut", but "flounder" is close enough for a win, since halibut are a class of flounder. Take it away, CdM....

Looks like I just lurked my way to another victory. All right.

VEGETABLE and MINERAL

A building?

Building? No.

Edible?

A mass produced manufactured item?

Edible? No.
Mass-produced manufactured item? Yes.

Made of wood and metal?

Made of plastic?

Can it be held in one's hand?

Does it use electricity?

Wood and metal? No.
Plastic? In part.
Held in one's hand? Um. Yes and No.
Use electricity? No.

Clarification: As it happens, I have held this in my hand. But under normal circumstances you would not think of it as being something you can or would hold in the hand.

Has it working parts?

Working parts? No.

Always the same size?

(not meaning to within a fraction of an inch, but roughly the same)

Always the same size? The words on the card imply no necessary specific size at all. There is considerable variation in most actual instances as well, although you might still say that most actual instances are (very) roughly the same size. (Audience applauds the question, even as they try to make sense of the answer.)

And to clarify (!) I should say that many actual instances are indeed roughly (as opposed to (very) roughly) the same size.

Is it bigger than a shoebox?

Is it used in entertainment?

Bigger than a matchbox?

Is it used in industry?

Bigger than shoebox/matchbox? In the actual instances that I referred to, it would be bigger than a shoebox (and it would pretty much always have to be bigger than a matchbox).
Used in entertainment? Broadly speaking, yes.
Used in industry? No.

Used for a recreational activity?

To do with audio reproduction?

Recreational activity? Yes. (Perhaps not always, but yes is the best answer).
audio reproduction? No.

(nothing from me for the next 18 hours or so -- about to get on a plane)

Used in sports?

[CdM] Look out for snakes.

Could it be found in a home?

Used in sports? Yes. applause
Could it be found in a home? Highly unlikely.

Used in one particular sport?

One particular sport? No, although largely confined to a small number of sports.

A ball?

Some form of protection?

Is it too big for one person to carry?

A goal?

Ball? No.
Protection? No.
Too big for one person to carry? Yes, in usual circumstances (but see earlier responses)
Goal? No.

Is the vegetable cotton?

A scoreboard?

cotton? No.
scoreboard? No.

Astroturf?

Astroturf? Not quite, but massive applause

A piece of Wembley Stadium turf?

A running track?

getting colder

Wembley? No.
Running track? No.
Astroturf was really very close indeed, but not exactly right.

A pitch?

Some form of matting, eg for high-jumpers to land on?

Actually, upon reflection, I think I should just award the victory to Raak. I was actually looking for Fieldturf, which is sort of a new generation astroturf (made of rubber, sand, and plastic, and much more like real grass). (Fieldturf, like astroturf, is a brand name, but I think there are several manufacturers of similar products.)

Number 2, I guess, at least in popular consciousness.

The next is MINERAL with ABSTRACT connections.

A sculpture?

Iron hand?

A natural feature?

[C] Not a sculpture.
[i] Not an iron hand.
[R] Not a natural feature.

Does it have religious connections?

[I] No religious connections.

Is it in a particular country?

[I] Not specific to any country.

Is it a mass-produced object?

[I] Yes, mass-produced.

Is it edible?

Is it actually an object, as opposed to a substance?

[C] Not edible.
[R] An object.

Is it made of glass?

[C] Partly made of glass.

Larger than a telephone kiosk?

[C] Smaller than a telephone book.

Was it invented?

[C] Oops, misread your question. Well, it's smaller than a telephone book.
[I] Invented. Actually, one might question whether there was an "inventive step" in first making these, or if it was an obvious application of existing inventions, but patents have been granted on slighter grounds.

A microscope?

Taking a pot shot from the halfway line.

[R] Not a microscope.

Is it a product of a particular company?

Would it have a use in a particular part of one's house?

[I] Not a particular company.
[T] Yes (although it could be used anywhere in the house).

A stationery connection?

Connected to lighting?

Connected to lighting?

[P] Not conneted to stationery.
[C] Connected to lighting? Sort of.

Anything to do with time?

[C] Nothing to do with time.

Does it have an optical function?

Is it used on its own, or is it a component of some larger entity?

A window?

[P] Yes! It has an optical function. Applause!
[C] Neither.
[P] Not a window.

Eyeglasses?

Small picture frame?

[i] Not eyeglasses.
[P] Not a picture frame.

Is a lens involved?

[P] Yes! More applause.

A camera?

[T] Yes, a camera. But that's not the whole answer.

A digital camera?

[I] Yes, but that's still not quite the whole answer.

A camera phone?

[Tuj] Not a camera phone.

A webcam?

A disposable digital camera?

[I] No.
[CdM] Yes, a webcam. Back to you.

Wow. I am on a roll again. OK

MINERAL with ABSTRACT connections.

Related to computers?

computer-related? No.

A geographical feature?

geographical feature? At least part of the answer is a geographical feature, and the whole answer is arguably also a geographical feature, at least for a broad definition of geography. applause

I'm seeing some sort of man-made structure on an island or rock - am I WAY off the mark?

Is the abstract connection in any way spiritual?

Lunar crater?

after such a good start...

manmade structure on rock? Way off the mark. :-)
spiritual connection? No.
lunar crater? No.

A country or territory of some sort?

Country or territory? No.

Man-made?

An ocean or sea?

Man-made? No.
Ocean? No.

The face on Mars?

Is water involved?

Face on Mars? No.
Water involved? Yes. applause

A lake?

Lake? No.

Flowing water?

Is there just one of these?

Flowing water? No.
Just one of these? Yes is the least misleading answer.

Is it underground?

Underground? No.

A reservoir?

Yhough it probably counts as a lake.

Preview, dear boy. That should be, "though".

A Glacier?

Reservoir? No.
Glacier? No. smattering of applause

The Arctic ice cap?

A comet?

Arctic ice cap? No.
Comet? No.

Correction and apology: I should have answered "yes" to "a glacier?". (The technically correct answer is perhaps "no", but this is very misleading.)

In the southern hemisphere?

Southern hemisphere? Yes.

In South America?

South America? No.

An ice-shelf?

The Ross Ice Shelf?

Ice shelf? No.
Ross ice shelf? No, a fortiori

In Africa?

Yay, the Internets are back!

Africa? Yes.

A glacier in Africa? Google...

Is it in the vicinity of Kilimanjaro?

The Snows of Kilimanjaro, as in Hemingway?

YES! The words on the card are "The Snows of Kilimanjaro", with the abstract connection being the Hemingway short story and the subsequent film. *hands icicle to irach*

Thanks, CdM (he says, as the icicle begins melting and dripping)... this one is ANIMAL.

Human?

No.

A mammal?

[Irouleguy] Not a mammal.

Extinct?

Does it have legs?

Something made out of an animal?

Native to a particular continent?

Large enough to see?

Part of an animal?

[Kim] Not extinct.
[Phil] Yes, it does have legs.
[Tuj] No.
[Inkspot] Not native to any one continent.
[Raak] Yes, plainly visible and macroscopic.
[Rosie] No, not a part of an animal.

An insect?

[CdM] Not an insect.

A bird?

Amphibian?

[Raak] Yes, a bird.
[Kim] No, not amhibian.

Any emblematic significance?

A seabird?

Emu?

[Rosie] None that I'm aware of.
[Phil] Yes, a coastal bird, but not exclusively so.
[Tuj] Not an emu.

A cormorant?

Grey Gull?

A hawk of some kind?

[Irouleguy] Not a cormorant.
[Kim} Not a grey (or otherwise coloured) gull.
[Chalky] No, not a hawk of any kind.

Tern?

[Kim] Not a tern.

Native to the UK?

[Kim] Not native to the UK, according to the British Ornithologists' Union list of British birds.
[Rosie] In researching your earlier question, Yes, it is of emblematic and/or symbolic significance.

A puffin?

[Irouleguy] Not a puffin.

Waterfowl of some nature?

A vulture?

(irach) Thanks for doing that. :-)

[INJ] A waterbird that frequents water, yes.
[Rosie] No, not a vulture.

A loon?

[CdM] Not a loon.

Endangered?

[CdM] The loon is on the British list, only it's called 'Great Northern Diver'
[Irach] By waterfowl I meant a bird in the duck, coot, rail group, to distinguish it from say Fish Eagle or heron.

[CdM] Not a duck, loon, goose, swan, coot, rail or gallinule. Not Anidae.

[CdM] That should read Anatidae, of course.

[INJ] Not endangered. At least one species of this bird was endangered earlier, but has made a good recovery and is no longer considered so.

[INJ] Actually, I did a little more digging on the web, and the species in question is still considered endangered in parts of its range, while it has been removed from the list in those zones where it has made a very good comeback.

Pelican?

*waits for INJ to explain that the pelican is exclusively coastal, or some such other objection*

[CdM] Yes, Pelican, it is! Bravo! Take it away...

I actually thought of pelican much earlier, but then misread a Q&A and thought it had been ruled out. Anyway.

ABSTRACT (perhaps with VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections)

An activity?

An activity? No.

An organisation?

An organisation? No.

A human construct?

(oblig.)

Human construct? Yes.

Is this found in all cultures?

Begins with a P?

Found in all cultures. No, but it is widespread.
Begins with a P? No.

An academic study?

Academic study? No.

The audience, very belatedly, decides it should offer some applause in response to Inkspot's question.

Is the vegetable connection edible?

An anarcho-syndicalist flag?

Edible vegetable? No.
A-s flag? No. Some laughter in the audience

To do with politics?

Politics? No.

Any religious connections?

A connection with music?

A philosophy, in the broadest sense?

Religious? No.
Music? No.
Philosophy? No, unless you want to be very broad.

Is it fictional?

Fictional? No.

Anything to do with clothing?

To do with clothing? Yes, though not exclusively. applause

Appearance?

Appearance? No.

The Shield of British Fair Play?

To do with a particular item of clothing?

shield of British fair play? No.
particular item of clothing? No. some applause

Is the answer on the card one word?

The Emperor's New Clothes?

An insignia?

one word? Two words plus a definite article.
Emperor's new clothes? No.
An insignia? Yes, broadly defined. applause

The Union Flag (Union Jack)?

Union Flag? No.

Is it normally attached to clothing?

A designer label?

Normally attached to clothing? Most often, yes. applause
Designer label? Yes, broadly defined (though not exactly). applause

a care label?

A logo?

Care label? No.
A logo? Yes. applause

The Nike Symbol?

Nike? Yes! The words on the card are actually "The Nike Swoosh", but that's close enough. *hands branded baton to Projoy*

Oh dear, that was a bit of a lurker's victory. Nevermind...
VEGETABLE/MINERAL/ABSTRACT

A natural product?

Whaddya meeeen Never mind? I'm furious, as always.

Begins with a P?

[Rosie] There, there. Mine usually don't take long to get... A natural product? NO.
[Tuj] Begins with a P? YES

Yes!!

(no question)

Smaller than a phone box?

Oh alright then.

[Tuj] Smaller than a phone box? YES

A Mr. Potato Head?

[Raak] Kartoffelkopf? NEIN

Is the vegetable wood?

Is it mass produced?

The peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked?

[Ig] Wood? PROBABLY
[Ink] Mass-produced? I DOUBT IT
[CdM] The sum of stewed squash stolen by some silly sod? NO

Primarily produced for artistic, rather than practical, reasons?

[INJ] I'm not sure there's anything other than a misleading answer to that other than IT DEPENDS.

Is it found in the home?

[Raak] Found in the home? NOT NORMALLY

Does music come into this?

[Chalky] Music connection? NO

Smaller than a shoe-box?

[Ig] Smaller than a shoe-box? NO

Found on a ship?

[Raak] On a ship? NO

Is it street furniture?

[Rosie] Street Furniture, YES *applause, although there are some dissenting voices*

[INJ] On further reflection, there are two separate answers to the "artistic, rather than practical" question. One is an unequivocal YES, the other is a tentative NO.

Festive ornamentation of some sort?

[Raak] Festive Ornamentation? NO

Parking meters?

[Ig] Parking meters? NO (but a sensitive ear can make out the sound of one hand clapping)

A shelter of some kind?

[Rosie] A shelter? YEAH, I GUESS

Bus stop?

[ir] Bus stop, NOPE

A bench?

[ir] Bench, NOPE

Parking garage?

[ir] Parking garage, NOPE (don't forget - is smaller than a phone box)

parasol?

[INJ] Parasol, NO * a slight chill breeze wafts from the audience *

A Parking/No parking sign

(no) parking sign, NOPE

A pissoir?

[Rosie] Pissoir? NOPE
[all] I know it seems like it's been narrowed down quite a bit, but critical information about the answer has yet to be unearthed, hence most of these guesses missing.

A café umbrella?

[Raak] Café Umbrella? NOPE

Specific to one culture/country?

Is the shelter for people?

Park bench?

And it begins with P!

Is the vegetable wood?

[INJ] Specific to one culture/country? NO, NOT REALLY
[Ig] Shelter for people? SORT OF (it's not for any other species either)
[Tuj] Park bench, NOPE
[Raak] Wood? PROBABLY, BUT MIGHT NOT BE

Is it put there by the local authority?

[Rosie] Local Authority, NO

(put where, btw?)

Would it normally be found on the UK pavement as opposed to the US pavement?

[INJ] UK/US? NO. Wouldn't normally be found in either place.

Is it found in a particular type of location?

Some kind of fencing?

A pier?

[Rosie] Particular type of location? YES and NO. The most helpful answer is NO.
[Tuj] Fencing? NO
[Ig] Pier? NO

[Rosie] Actually, it could be that the most helpful answer is YES, come to think of it. Sorry, not wishing to be perverse, but there's still something you don't yet know about this thing that, one you have found it out, would enable me to give much less equivocal answers.

A pier?

I am so blind - apols for such blatant repitition

Is it fictional?

Pillarbox?

[Phil] apology accepted :)
[Tuj] Fictional? YES *relieved applause and cheering*
[Phil] Pillarbox? NO, although the notion of taking shelter in a pillarbox is amusing me as I type.

From a book?

Pfff blimey. Can't believe we hadn't questioned the abstract sooner.

[Tuj] From a book? YES

One specific, individual thing?

[Raak] Specific, individual? YES

[Projoy] It's only "sort of" a shelter for people, so I thought it might be a shelter for things, that people use. But, you could shelter one hand at a time in one :-)

Is the book science fiction?

[Raak] SF? NO.

A porch?

[Raak] Porch, NO.

A Priesthole?

(only they have them in non-fiction too, but it's all I can think of)

[Phil] Priesthole? NOPE

Is it a 20th century book?

[Ig] C20th book? YES

Is the book set, broadly speaking, in the present day (as opposed to being obviously historical fiction or obviously set in the future)?

[CdM] Broadly present-day, YES

(there is a case for a NO answer, but that would be a bit obnoxious)

Are there multiple instances of this one specific thing? (I'm trying to reconcile "specific individual thing" with "not specific to one culture")

[CdM] Multiple instances? NO (there's no especial reason there couldn't be, but only one is mentioned - there's nothing about the one instance encountered that is (particularly) specific to one culture)

Is the book set in a recognisable real location or locations?

(I'm making up for all the questions I didn't ask earlier.)

[CdM] Real/recognisable location? NO (and YES, but mostly NO)

Would the book be considered as basically for children?

[CdMaddendum] Which is to say in terms of "recognisable", the answer is definitely NO, and in terms of "real", it's MOSTLY NO.
[INJ] Basically for children? YES *applause*

In a Harry Potter book?

[INJ] Harry Potter? NO.

In a Narnian chronicle?

[CdM] I'm not that far back in the closet. NO. ;-)

In a Philip Pullman book?

[Ig] Philip Pullman? NOPE (even though he begins with P twice!)

Book from the last 50 years?

[Tuj] From the last 50 Years, YES

A Tolkien book?

Is the writer British?

Pub sign?

Pinocchio?

Just one book, or a series?

[Phil] Tolkien? NO
[Inkspot] British? NO
[Tuj] Pub sign? NO
[ir] Pinocchio, NO
[Ig] Just one book? YES

Da Recap

So, it's a fictional, single, individual object which is smaller than a phone-box, larger than a shoe-box and appears in a one-off C20th children's novel by a non-British author, which is mostly set in unreal locations, published some time in the last fifty years. It may be described as "street furniture" (with some potential for controversy) and The Answer begins with a 'P'. More dubious are the details of what it's made of (probably wood), where it is most likely to be found, and whether it is likely to be mass-produced (unlikely, IMO). I won't go thru all the things it's not, but will note that some people will have heard of it, others will probably require google.

French?

[INJ] French? NO

European?

OK, let's be systematic about this.

Phantom Tollboth?

And can I just say that, if that isn't right, then it ought to be.

[INJ] European, NO...
[CdM] Phantom Tollbooth? YES!! *collects checkpoint fee and hands baton back to CdM*

Never heard of it, nor will many others, thus excluding them from the game. Google it? What do you type into Google? "Something I have never heard of". Go! This is by no means the worst example of an inappropriate subject, there being many of them so arcane that you just give up, bored, knowing that eventually some clever clogs will winkle out the answer. I could retaliate, of course, if I ever win again. It will be a steam engine. Not just any old steam engine. Oh dear me no. A particular type and not only that, a particular class. And not just any old loco of that class but a particular engine. And will it be notable in any way? Not necessarily. Wouldn't that be clever? The point I am making is that this game has departed a long way from the original concept, which was conducted live and necessarily needed maybe unusual but universally-known subjects. It needs to stop being a research project or a showcase for clever boys and return to its more modest origins.

Ditto, never heard of it :-(

[Rosie] Oh, rubbish. If we stuck to obvious stuff, this game would have run out of steam much earlier. I enjoyed finding out about, for example, Bobrikov, set by Néa earlier in the game. I'd never heard of him, but that hardly excluded me from the game (in fact it was me who dug up the answer after about 20 minutes' research).

Besides, anyone who hasn't heard of the Phantom Tollbooth has just had the good fortune to discover it. It is one of the classics of literature and they should read it at once (preferably in an edition with the original Jules Feiffer cartoons).

Bobrikov, and Bluebeard (which I found through Google) were good - difficult, and involved learning something new, but they were relatively "googlable". Luckily, the Phantom Bluetooth appears to be well enough known for someone to get it, it's just us grumpy old men that have never heard of it ;-)
Lets move on and work the next one out :-)

(Projoy) There is an absolutely huge number of subjects that are universally known. The skill is in picking one that is a little off-beat and needs a little imagination to guess. That's what the original Animal, Vegetable and Mineral was about. Turning it into a research project is a negation of the original idea. I have no interest whatever in which particular species of South American lizard, or which character from some science fiction novel the questioner is thinking of. That is just so nerdy. And boring! It's meant to be a game. Time for another extended absence from this one, I feel.

[Rosie] Please don't deprive us of your presence from this game. Surely now your opinions have been aired and taken into account by the rest of us there should be less of a problem? I'm in the "never heard of it" camp for the last one, but that happens every now and then - and I'm sure it does for everyone. Trying to come up with subjects every single time that every member of a multi-national group of people from a fair age range have heard of wouldn't be too easy. Yes, if there happens to be another subject soon that the majority of people consider inappropriate we can have this kind of discussion, but shall we just get on with things for now?
[CdM] By the way, no pressure on choosing the next topic ;)

(Tuj) That's very kind, and I actually enjoy the game, yes really, but only up to the point where I reckon the answer must be something I've never heard of, at which I just switch off and hope for something better next time. OK, I'll put in some questions then, if you insist. :-)

[Tuj] Well, I was thinking about picking a particular steam engine...
[Rosie] I understand where you are coming from -- halfway through the last AVMA I remember thinking "well, if this is from a Philip Pullman book I might as well give up now." At the same time this game, like so many that we play, is different from its antecedent, and I think this is a good thing, not a bad thing. This online version is played using google from time to time, and that does open us up to more obscure topics. As to whether Projoy's particular choice was too obscure, I am inclined to think not (but then, I did know the answer). The answer was the title to the book, not something from within the book, and I do think the book is acknowledged as at least a minor classic of children's literature -- maybe not in the A.A. Milne or Lewis Carroll or C.S. Lewis league, but comparable to perhaps the works of Roald Dahl or Arthur Ransome. Like Tuj, though, I would urge you to keep playing. On which note,

ABSTRACT

A human construct?

Human construct? Yes is the least misleading answer.

Does it have religious connotations?

fictional?

To do with language?

Religious connotations? No.
Fictional? No.
To do with language? No.

To do with computers?

To do with emotions?

Computers? No, except in a very tangential sense.
Emotions? No.

To do with numbers?

Reality TV?

Is there just one of these?

Begins with a P?

Stephenson's Rocket?

No forget that - it's got to be Mallard.

A space of some kind?

To do with numbers? Hmmmmm... Not as such, yet numbers do play an important role in practice.
Reality TV? No.
Just one of these? No.
Begins with P? No.
Stephenson's Rocket? Not even close. :-)
A space of some kind? That is also a tricky one. I would say Yes, but I worry that that answer will mislead.

To do with mathematics?

Is it a game of some kind?

Connected with Physics?

[Rosie] Since it's abstract, it would have to be the Mallard Imaginaire.

"Something I've never heard of"?

A relationship of some sort between humans?

Moebius loop?

To do with mathematics? No.
Game of some kind? No.
Connected with physics? No.(There are very vague connections to physics and math, but I think they are unhelpful)
Something Projoy has never heard of? :-) No.
Relationship between humans? No. (Except in a very vague sense!)
Moebius loop? No.

Not to be discouraging, but nothing is hitting anywhere near the mark yet...

Anything to do with environmental issues?

To do with the arts?

To do with perception?

To do with environmental issues? No. (Again, I suppose there is a very vague connection.)
To do with the arts? No.
To do with perception? No.

To do with the internets?

To do with the internets? No. Although, as a clue, I might point out that it had absolultely nothing to do with the internets at all until relatively recently, and now it does have something to do with the internets, as in fact I proved when I originally set this AVMA.

AVMA?

To do with music?

To do with motion?

"Mallard" did 125 mph, you know.

To do with randomness?

Music? No.
Motion? Yes. *some applause*
Randomness? *tosses coin, checks* No.

*ahem*

To do with holidays?

The diesel land speed record?

Journey? Ticket?

The speed of light?

Some sort of delivery?

Would it have been known about/understood pre 1700?

Does it refer to the absence, rather than the presence of something?

Forget the speed of light, it's obviously not that.

oops

A clearing of the throat? No.
AVMA? No.
Holidays? No.
Diesel land speed record? No.
Speed of light? *forgets* Delivery? No.
Understood pre 1700? No. *ripple of applause*
Absence vs presence? Presence rather than absence.

Some sort of taxon?

The Hubble constant?

Technology-related?

A force?

The Poincare Conjecture?

Gravity?

Is it associated with/a product of a particular branch of science?

Kinetic energy?

taxon? No.
Hubble constant? No.
Technology-related? Yes, in the sense that it that would not be meaningful without a particular technology.
Poincaré Conjecture? No.
Gravity? No. *some laughter in the audience mixed with a smattering of applause*
Associated with particular branch of science? Yes, if "science" includes applied sciences.
Kinetic energy? No, although there is a vague connection.

Anything to do with planes?

Is the technology computing?

Flight?

Railway timetable?

To do with planes? Yes. *applause*
To with computing? Well, the primary technology I was thinking of was aeronautics. There need not be a connection with computing, but in practice there usually is.
Flight? No. *significant applause*
Railway timetable? No. *sudden silence*

The simulated absence of gravity on a plane flying a parabolic path?

Bernoulli's Principle?

Lift?

Which could be correct, as Tuj's "A Force?" was not answered.

oooops again

zero g? No.
Bernouilli Principle? *tosses coin, checks* No.
Lift (or other force?)? No.

*surreptitiously removes "i" from Bernoodle*

To do also with money?

Jet lag?

Forget last question

jet lag?
...
...
...
...
No.

The gyroscopic effect?

OK, to do also with money?

gyroscopic effect? No.
to do with money? No.

Satellite Navigation?

satellite navigation? No. *more applause*

Altitude?

Elliptical orbit?

altitude is one of the two words on the card. *sustained applause*
elliptical orbit? No.

Cruising Altitude?

If that doesn't work I'll let others have a go.

Density Altitude?

No, I think INJ has it, actually.

Pressure Altitude?

Just in case INJ hasn't got it.

Cruising Altitude it is, prompted by the fact that I posted that AVMA at a height of 38,000 feet somewhere over Central Asia. *automatic pilot hands baton to INJ*

OK, a quick one then.

This one is MINERAL.

BTW I'm spending the long weekend away from contact. (No phone, no mobile connectivity, without walking 15 minutes, no road). So if you haven't got it by bedtime there could be a long pause.

naturally occurring?

Is there more than one instance of this?

[PJ]naturally occurring - YES
[CdM] >1 - NO is probably the less confusing answer

Larger than a house?

[CdM] > house - YES

A geographical feature?

Well this is going quickly

[Phil] geographical feature? - YES (applause)

In Europe?

[Phil] Mineral, larger than a house, INJ setting the clue -- it had to be a geographical feature. :-)

On Earth?

*senses possible topicality*

Is its name of plural form?

As in the Alps, the Urals, the Six Counties, etc.

[CdM] Europe - NO
[PJ] On Earth - YES (no ice balls here)
[Raak] name of plural form? - NO (that's not why)

Africa?

(Feel free to assume the rest of the questions :-) )

Feeling Liberated

[Néa] Africa - NO
(Feel free to assume the rest of the answers)

Asia?

[PJ] Asia - YES
The audience is following intently.

A Himalaya?

[Tuj] Himalaya? - NO

A group of islands?

Is it at sea?

A named object?

[Néa] archipelago? - NO
[Raak] At Sea? - NO (a few wry grins are seen),br>[PJ] named object? - YES

Preview, you Great Dummacks!

New Orleans?

A lake?

Which Asia was that?

[Raak] New Orleans? - NO
[Rosie] Lake? - YES
(Most of the audience applaud - a few sit pointedly on their hands)

The Caspian Sea?

Nearly there

[Néa] Non-princely Caspian - NO

Lake Baikal?

Aral Sea?

Lake Vostok?

And it’s a lurker’s victory for irach – the Aral Sea it is. The singular/plural question is because the evaporation has continued to such an extent that there are at least 3 unconnected bodies of water.

So, have a good weekend and over to irach.

Well, well, well... The next one is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL

Begins with a P?

[Tuj] As a matter of fact, Yes.

Manmade?

[Rosie] Yes.

Bigger than a telephone box?

Score!

[Tuj] No, smaller than a telephone box.

Bigger than a shoebox?

A household device?

[Projoy] Generally not larger than a shoebox, and definitely not in two of the three dimensions.
[Rosie] May occasionally be used in the household, but is also frequently utilized in other locales.

A man-made object?

[CdM] you obviously know him better than I do

Used in sport?

A passive object, i.e. not powered?

[Phil] Yes. A man-made object.
[Tuj] Not used in sport.
[Rosie} Not powered by electricity or any fuel.

A leather-bound filofax?

Is the vegetable part paper?

[Raak] No. Not a filofax.
[Tuj] The vegetable part is not paper.

Is the vegetable part wood?

Is the animal part alive?

[Tuj] Yes, the vegetable part is wood.(The dozing audience opens half an eye)
[Raak] Not alive.

Is the mineral part metal?

A musical instrument?

[Tuj] Yes, the mineral part is metal.
[Raak] Not a musical instrument.

Do many people carry this with them?

[Rosie] Most people have carried it at some time, some people carry this some of the time; a certain profession carries it more often than others.

A mobile phone?

[Rosie} Not a mobile phone.

Is it a penknife or pocket knife?

[penelope] Neither a penknife or pocket knife.

An umbrella?

[Raak]. Not an umbrella. (begins with "p", remember? Not a parasol either, however. As a clarification, one does not "carry" it so much as "handle" it in its use).

Does it have a use in an office?

A pen?

A container of some kind?

[Projoy] Not generally used in an office.
[Chalky] Not a pen (the audience stirs ever so slightly, though}
[Rosie] Not a container.

Connected with making marks?

a picture?

Connected with paint?

A paintbrush?

[Projoy] I presume one can make marks with it.
[INJ] Not a picture (but the audience sits up, taking notice, and a few nod knowingly)
[Raak] Yes. Connected with paint... (oooh, so close).
[Tuj] By Jove, you got it! YES - a paintbrush it is.

I say, I actually won one! That's never happened before!
So, I'll kick off with a nice easy ANIMAL.

Human?

[Kim] Nope.

Begins with a P??

[Néa] Naturally :D

Currently lives wild in Britain?

[Raak] Possibly, but a less misleading answer I think would be NO.

Dingo?

Is it a bird?

[irach] Not a dingo.
[Rosie] Not a bird (or a plane, or indeed Superman).

Do people keep it as a pet?

Is it a mammal?

Is it sometimes used a s a work animal?

A single named individual animal?

[Raak] Pets? No.
[Néa] Not a mammal.
[irach] Not a work animal, though it is useful.
[INJ] Not a specific single animal.

I feel so negative... at least you know it begins with P, eh? ;)

Does it live on land?

[INJ] As opposed to sea or sky YES, but that's not a brilliant answer.
Maybe I should have made more of the fact it's useful...

Does it live in fresh water?

Is it an insect?

Is it bred for a specific purpose?

[irach] No, I don't think so.
[Chalky-1] No...
[Chalky-2] Yes! (though not in all instances)

A pig?

A reptile?

[Rosie] Not a mammal, apparently.

[Rosie & Projoy] Neither a pig nor a reptile.

An invertebrate?

Individually visible to the naked eye?

Is its skin made into leather?

"Leather" includes crocodiles, snakes, eels, etc

Is it a fish?

Is it an animal product?

[irach] Spineless indeed.
[INJ] Probably...
{Raak] No!
[Kim] No!
[Chalky] YES! That's a much better line to go down.

Honey?

Edible?

[Rosie] No.
[Irouléguy] Yes *audience thinks about applauding, then doesn't

*

Eaten by human beings?

[Projoy] Taken in by humans, yes. Not sure what it'd do to anything else.

Do people drink it?

Connected with brewing or distilling?

[Raak] No
[Projoy] No.

I don't think I'm very good at this.

Is the animal a bird?

[Raak] Nope, that's been asked before (Rosie) and we've also established that it's iffy whether a single one would be visible to the naked eye (INJ). As far as your previous question goes, it is "eaten" as such, although I just don't think that's the right word.

I'm going away tomorrow for a few days so this may get abandoned.

Does whatever it is sort of just hang around in the air?

[Projoy] No I'm afraid.

Is it alive?

Paramoecium?

A medication?

[Projoy] The animal yes, the animal product I'm fairly sure not
[irach] Afraid not
[Inkspot] Yes! *audience applause threatens structural instability*

Penicillin?

[Projoy] YES! *lights flash, trumpets sound*

'cuh, thank goodness that's over. I'll go back to guessing!

Oh dear, me again. OK, something everyone will have heard of, this time. ABSTRACT

Begins with a P?

Ahh, much better.

A human construct?

(Tuj) Penicillin is not an animal product but originally came from a mould. It can now be synthesised chemically.

[Tuj] YES, it does begin with a P!
[Rosie] YES, a human construct. Hm. Are moulds animal or vegetable or taxonomically in an "ancestor-to-both" category?

Procrastination?

[CdM] I'll tell you later.

To do with art?

Procrastination?

[Rosie] Yes, I realised I'd plunged in and labelled it animal without considering vegetable, but never mind. Thankfully my mess was cleared up by Inkspot & Projoy.

[Raak] Art? Most helpful answer is NO.
[Tuj] I'm getting to that one. It's the next thing on my list. More later.

An organisation?

(Pj) Moulds are a type of fungi, apparently. I can't see how there can be any connection with animals. Animal can turn into Vegetable eg manure (there's polite for you) but surely not the other way round?

[Rosie] Organisation? NO.

Is it fictional?

[Is] Fictional? NO

Is there a religious connection?

Anythig to do with furries?

Predestination?

Plutocracy?

Parsimony?

[Ig] Religious connection? NO
[Raak] Furry connection? NO
[Chalky] Predestination, Plutocracy or Parsimony? NO

A political concept?

[Rosie] Political? NO, well, only in the vaguest possible way.

Philosphy?

[Phil] Osophy? NOPE. (I do sometimes think that knowing the first letter is actually a bad thing. Encourages premature guessing).

An emotion?

(not wanting to be premature)

[Phil] An emotion? NO.

Premature Guessing?

Har har :P

[CdM] Premature Speculation? NO

Poincaré's Conjecture?

Possible event?

An activity?

Pantomime?

( [Tuj]With regard to the earlier one, can "Penicillin", a fungus, really be classified as an "animal"? Shouldn't it have been "vegetable"?)

[Raak] Poincaré's conjecture? NO
[Inkspot] Possible event? NO
[Ig] Activity? NO
[irach] Panto? OH, NO IT ISN'T!

Probability of having its own Wikipedia entry?

[Inkspot] Technically, I can answer only YES or NO, but since it's you, I shall reply that the probability is 100%.

Did it exist more than a century ago?

Is it an artistic style?

A bodily function? (not necessarily a rude one).

[Raak] More than a century old? YES
[Phil] Artistic style, NO
[Rosie] Bodily function, rude or otherwise, NO

To do with language?

[Raak] Language connection? NOT REALLY, except in a fairly catch-all sense.

Is it timeless?

[Phil] Timeless? NO

What it's not...

Art, organisation, fictional, religious, furry, political, philosophical, emotion, possible event, activity, panto, style, bodily function, language, timeless.

The definition of planets?

Scientific/Technical?

[Raak] Definition of planets? NO
[Rosie] Scientific/Technical? YES (for the most part) *audience applause, although one or two pedants get into fistfights*

Also - it isn't predestination, plutocracy or parsimony.
*is somewhat bemused by the pedants who have to resort to fisticuffs and tells them it's not THAT important - fer gawd's sake*

Periodic Table?

[Elemental, my dear Chalky] Periodic Table? NO

A theory?

[Inkspot] A theory? NO

Anything to do with the weather?

Is it an "-ology" ?

[Rosie] To do with the weather? NO
[Philology]? NO, not an ology.

[Projoy] Takes a lot to make me laugh on a monday morning, but thanks for "Philology" - raised a titter, at least :-)

Anything to do with a craft of some sort?

[Raak] To do with a craft of some sort? Strictly, NO (but note my emphasis).

A general skill?

[Raak] NO, not a skill. (damn, thought we were almost there for a moment!)

Is it a practice of some kind?

[Kim] Practice, NO.

Need a clue?

WE will ask the questions!

Er, actually, yes.

Clue-o-rama

OK, strictly it's not to do with any particular craft, but it is relevant to craft in general, so long as you take a very broad definition of craft (i.e. not corn dollies and marquetry). In principle it need not be to do with science and/or technology, but in practice it usually is. The Answer is not a verb, gerund or adjective, nor is it any kind of "ism".

(The Answer is a single word, too).

Production?

[Phil] Production, NO? * murmur of interest from the audience*
[CdM] Procrastination, NO (Sorry for the delay).

Anything to do with the occult?

[Chalky] To do with the occult, NO (not that kind of craft, either :))

Does it invove making pictures?

Powerpoint?

[Raak] Involves making pictures? OFTEN, IN PRACTICE *smattering of applause*
[Chalky] Powerpoint, NO.

photography?

strike that - silly guess, photography is an activity

is it a graphics programme?

[Chalky] Graphics programme, NO.

We'll be right back after this message from our sponsor....

PS. Having just looked up fungi in Wikipedia (nothing to do with the answer to mine), I read this: "Fungi were originally classified as plants, however have since been separated as they are heterotrophs. This means they do not fix their own carbon through photosynthesis, but use carbon fixed by other organisms for metabolism. Fungi are now thought to be more closely related to animals than to plants, and are placed with animals in the monophyletic group of opisthokonts." The article classifies them as "Kingdom: Fungi", so maybe this game should become AVFM?

+A

(after further research) Hm. Possibly the game should even be Animal, Plant, Fungi, Protista, Archaebacteria, Eubacteria, Non-Organic, Abstract. Might take the fun out of it, tho.

[Projoy] What about objects that refuse to define themselves in terms of an oppressive system of categories that makes no allowance for their unique viewpoint?

[Raak] They must be sent to the salt mines.

Day dreaming?

[Inkspot] Sorry, yes, I was miles away.

[IS] Er, daydreaming? NO.

Linked with a particular culture or country?

[all] Sorry for finding out it began with P...
[all again] But far more sorry for my momentary lapse in forgetting the "vegetable" category - luckily I've been away over the weekend and my embarassment has cooled. And to me (and most I guess) mould would certainly be vegetable, whatever dratted Wikipedia thinks.

You and Linnaeus, even, so you're in good company

[Tuj] Linked with a particular culture or country? NOT ANY MORE

Is it a process?

Was this thing invented by mankind?

[Phil] Funny, that's just the question I was going to ask in my post-before-last.

[Phil] Is it a process? UMMMM, NO (a process is involved, however)
[Tuj] Invented by mankind? YES (i.e. a human construct)

In the last 500 years?

[Tuj] Invented in the last 500 years? NO.

[Projoy] I think we have already had this discussion.

The last thousand?

This is a struggle, but a very interesting one.

One last thing before I give up, as this thing is an abstract human construction is it a thought process or something like that goes on in someone's head.

Proof?

Hello everyone. I've been away far too long.

[Tuj] Invented in the last thousand years. YES. Some accounts say that this was around a long time before its "official" invention date in the last thousand years, but I'll go with the account that gives a specific date.
[Inkspot] Thought process? NOT EXCLUSIVELY, this thing (rather than process) is abstract (i.e. non-tangible), but it is also translated into tangible form and because of that it has a definite effect on people's behaviour in the real world.
[flerdle] Proof? NO, although proof (in the informal sense) is often involved.

Printing?

[Raak] Printing? NO (not that informal sense of proof!)

propaganda?

A pendulum?

[flerdle] Propaganda, NO
[Raak] Pendulum, NO

(and if the diversity of those last few guesses isn't a hint that we still need more broad deductive questions, I don't know what is!)

To the question by Tuj "Linked with a particular culture or country?" you replied "NOT ANY MORE". Does that mean that it began in one country but it is now world wide.

ps if yes, a great clue would be the coutry of origin.

Is it associated with a particular way of life?

OK, let's be a bit helpful here...

[Inkspot] OK, for nothing I shall reveal that this thing first appeared (according to the account I am following) in Venice first (when Venice was a country).
[Phil] Associated with a particular way of life? NOT REALLY (unless you mean particular professions?)

Pasta?

[Raak] Wikipedia says that pasta originated in many places independently, the earliest records being from China, so NO.

Patents?

[flerdle] PATENT, YES! *astonished but grateful applause from the audience*.

Well, it couldn't be double-entry book-keeping

Gosh.

OK, short and simple: VEGETABLE

Is it really a fungus? :)

*giggles*

[Projoy] Fungus? NO

Is it green?

Is it edible?

Is it wood?

Is it a whole plant? (Not having played here for months)

[Projoy] Green? Can be
[Chalky] Edible? YES
[Raak] Wood? NO
[Darren] a whole plant? NO

Is it a pepper?

Or an apple?

Or tea?

[Darren] a pepper? strictly NO, but may be involved.
[Projoy] an apple? strictly NO, but may be involved.
[Irouléguy] tea? NO.

A particular dish?

Pizza?

[Projoy] a particluar dish? YES and NO, but probably more helpful if you take that as "YES".
[Raak] Pizza? yes please!! oh. NO.

The recommended five portions a day?

[Projoy] It's seven portions here... but either way, NO

Salad?

Is it associated with a particular country?

Is it eaten hot?

[Projoy] Salad? NO
[Inkspot] Associated with a particular country? YES! *audience cheers*
[Raak] Eaten hot? NO

A European Country?

Is any sort of grain product involved?

Beguns with a P?

[Projoy] a European country? NO. Well, not at first.
[Raak] involving grainproduct? NO
[pTuj] starts wuth a P? No. Sorry.

Is the country India?

Ottoman Empire or some other way of saying "Turkish" that wasn't, at first, European?

Tofu kebab?

[Darren] India? YES! *more cheers*
[Projoy] Turkish etc? NO
[Raak] Tofu kebab? NO

NB need sleep, sorry for the upcoming delay, do guess on...

Ayurvedic cuisine?

Some sort of curry?

Does one find it in Indian restaurants outside India?

Contains mango?

Some sort of chutney or pickle?

[Projoy] Ayurvedic cuisine? vaguely.
[Darren] Curry? NO but ever so close
[Raak] found in Indian restaurants outside India? YES
[irach] contains mango? YES and no. Depends.
[Irouléguy] a chutney or pickle? YES!! *audience cheers wildly, orders takeaway*

Chutney it is. Over to you Irouléguy

Sorry for the delay! Out all day, and I'm out again tonight. Another quick one, I hope - ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.

Fictional?

Male?

Raak] Fictional? NO
Inkspot] Male? Usually, but not exclusively.

Symbolic?

The name of a job?

Raak] Symbolic? NO
Projoy] The name of a job? NO

Is it an activity?

A game?

Is the animal connection human?

Connected to religion?

Is more than one sort of animal involved?

Chalky] Is it an activity? *applause* YES
Rosie] A game? *louder applause, quite possibly beer-fuelled* YES
ImNotJohn] Is the animal connection human? YES
Inkspot] Connected to religion? *some sardonic chuckling* NO
Raak] Is more than one sort of animal involved? YE-ES, though I don't think that's helpful.

Football?

Game hunting?

Fuzzy Duck?

Cricket?

Assuming the ball contains leather.

Golf?

Raak - Football? NO
Projoy - Game hunting? NO - the other animals are red herrings
Phil - Fuzzy Duck? *the audience break into teams to play* Nice idea, but no.
Rosie - Cricket? NO *polite applause*
Assuming the ball contains leather - that assumption contains two unasked questions.
Darren] Golf? NO

Is it a ball game?

Darren] Is it a ball game? YES

Golf?

A team game?

Lacrosse?

Primarily associated with a particular country?

Handball?

Wondering whether games with implements like bats/clubs/whatever would have vegetable/mineral/whatever connections.

Baseball?

Is the animal connection _only_ human?

Rosie hits a a home run! It's baseball (the other animal connection being the leather-covered ball - I did say it was a red herring.) *Hands bat over*

Good heavens, I've won. Better have a lie down. That's better.

Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines, but nevertheless MINERAL.

Metal?

A geographical feature?

Does it require electric power?

(Tuj, Phil, Inkspot) Not metallic, geographical or electrically-powered.

All together now, A human construct?

Smaller than a phone box?

(Projoy) YES, made by humans.
(Tuj) YES. Strictly, extremely unlikely that it's not.

Made of glass?

(Raak) - Made of glass? YES - *vigorous applause*

A container?

Is it made from just the one material?

A beer glass?

Raak - A container? - NO
Inkspot - Made from one material? -YES
Irouléguy - Beer glass? - How dare you? - NO

A decorative item?

(Phil) - Decorative item? Could be, but real answer is NO.

It is for looking through?

A scientific item?

(Raak) - For looking through? - NO
(Phil) - A scientific item? - YES

A pipette?

Is it a container?

(Irg) A pipette? - NO
(Darren) Already been asked - NO

Does it have other uses aside from the scientific one(s)?

(Darren) - Other uses - YES (if science and technology are distinct)

Thermometer?

(irach) - NO - Not a thermometer.

A mirror?

A prism

Can't believe no-one's asked if it starts with "P" yet...

(Raak) - Not a mirror, but (Phil) YES! - A prism. Carry on; it's all yours.

Well, stap me vitals, Bloodnok!

OK, this time I'll go for VEGETABLE & MINERAL

The vegetable's wood and the mineral's metal?

Salt and vinegar crisps?

Anything to do with dispensing inebriating fluids?

[Irach 1] Wood? CAN BE
[Irach 2] Metal? NO
[Darren] Walkers' Finest S&V? NO
[Rosie] To do with intoxicating liquor? NO

Bigger than a telephone kiosk?

[Chalky] Bigger than phonebox? NO

Is it a manufactured object?

A tool?

Is the mineral fluid?

[Darren] Manufactured? YES
[INJ] A tool? NO
[Raak] Fluid mineral? YES

Is the fluid water?

[Darren] Water? Not entirely

Is it a container of some sort?

[Chalky] Container? NO

Any connection with weather forecasting?

Barometer?

[Chalky] Weather forecasting? Dear God, NO - who do you think I am? :-)
[Darren] Barometer? NO

Is the water sea water?

Is it a drink?

Begins with a P?

Oh.

[Raak] Sea water? NO
[Inkspot] A drink? NO, unless you have very bizarre tastes...actually, just make that a stright NO
[Tuj] Begins with P? Sorry, NO.

Is the fluid used for cleaning?

Is the fluid colourless?

[Rosie] Fluid for cleaning? NO
[Inkspot] Is the fluid colourless? I don't know, but it could be I suppose.

Would you normally find it in the home?

Normally found in the home? Hmmmm, how pedantic do I want to be. YES, it could normally be found in a home; NO, a home is not the only place it is normally found.

Is it a measurement device?

Is the vegetable also part of the fluid?

[Kim] Measurement device? NO
[Inkspot] Is the vegetable also part of the fluid? NO
I think I need to provide a little guidance/clarification. The "manufactured object" does not contain any fluid.

Is it edible?

[Tuj] Edible? NO

Is it something that you put into a fluid?

Is it more likely to have a use in the workplace?

[Raak] Something that you put into a fluid? NO
[Chalky] More likely to have a use in the workplace? Possibly, but I'd say equally useful at home as at work.

Smaller than a toaster?

[Tuj] Smaller than a toaster? YES

Anything to do with sports?

Anything to do with cooking?

Is the vegetable part alive?

Is it something one could wear?

[Chalky] Sport? NO
[Rosie] Cooking? NO
[Tuj] Live vegetable? NO
[Darren] Something one could wear? Hmmm..it has been done, but I'd say NO.

Is it used to separate something from something else?

A newspaper? (The paper is dead vegetable, the printing ink being a fluid mineral, and newspapers have known to be worn on a couple of occasions, one can use it at home or in the office)

[Darren] To separate two things? NO *some whispering in the audience*
[irach] Newspaper? NO, *audience applauds irach's effort, despite it being wrong*

Is it printed paper?

Is paper involved?

Is is something to do with the arts?

[Raak] Printed paper? NO
[Tuj] Involves paper? NO
[Kim] To do with the arts? NO
*An audience member stands up and explains that they were applauding irach for applying his deductive powers and coming up with an excellent explanation, even though "newspaper" still isn't close*

A further hint/elaboration. The mineral fluid is used in the manufacture of the object from vegetable sources.

Was this thing "invented"?

[Phil] I'd realised what the audience were applauding for, but still did my daft guess anyway. Ah well.

medicinal?

[Tuj] Invented? YES
[Chalky] Medicinal? NO

Is the material used in arts and crafts?

[Raak] Used in arts and crafts? Can be, but not exclusively. *a ripple of applause*

Some sort of fixative or glue?

A model airplane made from balsa wood and epoxy adhesive?

[Chalky] Some sort of fixative or glue? YES *enthusiastic applause*
[irach] model aeroplane etc? NO

Good old-fashioned wood glue?

Wallpaper paste?

[Rosie] Wood glue? NO
[CHalky] Wallpaper paste? NO
An apology I applied too liberal a meaning to "fixative". Having now looked it up, I would have to give my earlier answer to Chalky as "NO, but getting close"

Polyfiller?

[Chalky] Polyfilla? NO

Play Doh?

Size?

I have no idea what size is made from, actually.

[Chalky] Playdoh? NO
[Raak] Size? NO (it's just weak wallpaper paste)

Papier maché?

Is it used in photography?

A plastic laminated card?

[Raak] Papier Maché? NO
[Kim] Photographical? NO
[irach] Plastic laminated card? NO *murmurs of interest from audience, who were starting to nod off*

Anyone for a summary?

What it is: it is manufactured; the vegetable aspect can be wood; the mineral aspect is fluid which is not entirely water and is probably colourless; it is found in the home and the workplace; it is smaller than a toaster; it was invented; it could be associated loosely with fixatives/glues.

What it's not: crisps; anything to do with booze; bigger than a phonebox; a tool; a container; anything to do with weather-forecasting (including barometers); involving sea water; a drink; starting with P; used as a cleaning fluid; a measurement device; linked to vegetal fluid; to do with sport or cooking; alive; something to wear (conventionally); a means of separation; a newspaper; printed paper; involving paper; to do with the arts; medicinal; a fixative or glue; model aeroplane; wood glue; wallpaper paste; polyfilla; playdoh; size; papier maché; plastic laminated card

Sellotape?

some sort of sealant?

[Tuj] Sellotape? YES, dagnammit, YES !!!! *rapturous applause*
[Chalky] A sealant? Well, as you can now see, it can be.
The vegetable is wood, cotton or hemp. That's dissolved in alkali to make viscose, then extruded into an acid bath to make cellophane. Rubber resin is applied to the cellophane to make Sellotape (or Scotch Tape or cellophane tape). My confusion over "fixative" was because I thought it meant something to fix one thing to another. Over to you Tuj, and congrats.

Ooh 'eck

Can I pass this one up? I'm probably not going to be around enough in the coming days - I'm packing & leaving for my second year of uni at present, a little mad (and no guarantee of having Internet at the other end yet...)
Whoever's in next with a good idea can take the baton.

May I ...?

VEGETABLE with traces of MINERAL with a strong ABSTRACT element.

A crucifix? (And if not, connected with religion?)

A vegetarian diet?

[Darren] Crucifix? NO
[ " ]Connected with religion? NO
[Rosie] A vegetarian diet? NO

Edible?

Connected with the arts?

[irach] edible? NO
[Darren] Connected with the arts? It depends on what you mean by the arts; there IS a tenuous connection but it would be more useful to you if I said NO.

Some sort of printed material?

[Raak] Some sort of printed material? YES

The Holy Bible?

Connected to an event?

[irach] Holy Bible? See Darren's first question (and the reply)
[Inkspot] Connected to an event? NO

Does it have pictures?

Is the vegetable wood?

A textbook of some kind?

[Darren] Pictures? Yes - sort of
[Inkspot] Wood? Yes
[Rosie] A textbook? YES

Was it first printed before 1900?

[Inkspot] printed before 1900? NO

The Highway Code?

[Iroule] Highway Code? NO

Connected to science?

Used in schools?

[Inks] Connected to science? Not in the sense I'm guessing you mean.
[Raak] Used in schools? I'll say NO so as not to mislead you, but this object can be used almost anywhere.

Is it a list in any sense?

A cookery book?

A computing book?

Is the author British?

*apologises for absence from game duty this weekend ..*

[Rosie] A list? In any sense? Erm .. no but then again .. SORT OF
[Iroule] Cookery? NO :-)
[Raak] Compooting? NO
[Inks] British Author? Originally, YES

Grammar book?

[irach] Grammar Book? NO

Jane's Fighting Ships?

Was it first printed before 1950?

[Rosie] Jane's? NO
[Iroule] Printed before 1950? YES

Is it revised and updated annually?

[Inks] Revised and updated annually? I don't think it's annual but it's certainly revised and updated regularly. Excellent question :-)

With alphabetically arranged entries?

[Projoy] Alphabetically arranged entries? IN PART

Wisden?

[Raak] Wisden? NO

Roget's thesaurus?

Is there a sporting connection?

[Darren] Roget's? NO
[Iroule] sporting connection? NO

Does it have satirical connotations?

An encyclopedia?

[Darren] satirical connotations? Nah
[Raak] Hen-sigh-klo-pee-dear? No it isn't and I'm surprised that no-one has asked that yet.

By way of a clue, I'm going to give a belated *audience applauds* to a question posed by Irouléguy on Saturday.

To do with transport?

A map?

[Rosie] Transport? Yes
[Raak] A map? No and YES *hurrah*

The A-Z?

AA members' handbook?

[Iroule] AA member's handbook? No, because ...
[Projoy] The answer is THE London A-Z, but that's the one you probably meant - so CHEERS FOR PROJOY :-)
Over to you ..

Okey doke... the next one is ANIMAL.

Living?

Human?

[irach] Living? YES
[Rosie] Human? YES

The Queen?

Helen Mirren?

Male?

Born before 1960?

Projoy?

Him *points*

A member of the Morniverse?

It's not me, is it?

[Raak] HMQ? No
[Ig] HM? No
[irach] Male? YES
[Inkspot] Natally prior to JFK Presidency? YES
[Darren] Me? No (I have, in fact, already been "done" in this game)
[Phil] Darren? No
[Rosie] A member of the Morniverse? No.
[Kim] Not you either, I'm afraid.

Born before 1900?

Fictional?

An entertainer?

A royal?

[Ig] A Pre-Labour Party baby? No.
[UK] Fictional? No.
[Raak] Entertainer? No.
[Darren] A royal? No.

A scientist?

[Raak] A scientist, YES.

Physicist?

[Darren] Physicist? No.

A biologist?

[Raak] A biologist, YES.

Richard Dawkins?

[Darren] YES, that's the fella. Over to you.

Here we go: ABSTRACT/ANIMAL

A fictional character?

Animal instinct?

Fictional? No.
Animal instinct? No.

A grouping of animals?

Grouping of animals? In a manner of speaking.

Are the animals human?

An organisation?

A political party?

White elephant?

A sporting team?

Is the abstract element a generic term?

Animals=human? Yes.
Organisation? Yes.
Political party? Yes. (Applause on that one.)
White elephant? No.
Sporting team? No.
Abstract element=generic term? No.

A British political party?

British political party? Yes. (Again, applause.)

The Labour Party?

[Projoy] Labour? No.

The Monster Raving Loony Party?

Currently in existence?

Monster Raving Loony Party? No.
Currently in existence? Yes.

The Liberal Democrats?

UKIP?

*suspects Projoy has got it, but just in case*

Plaid Cymru?

UKIP? No.
Plaid Cymru? No.
Liberal Democrats? Yes. (Huge applause.) So it's over to Projoy again.

OK... MINERAL

Metal?

[Rosie] Metal, no.

Solid?

[ir] Solid, YES

Does it occur in nature?

[Quen] Occurs in nature, no.

A polymeric material?

Is it unique?

A work of art?

Is it larger than a telephone box?

[irach] A polymer? No (well, I don't think so - that's long chains of molecules, yeah?)
[Quen] Not unique
[Raak] Work of art? No, not really
[Darren] YES, larger than a telephone box.

Glass?

Is it intended for people to go inside?

Is it a building?

[Ink] Not glass.
[Darren] For people to go inside. YES *one or two titters from the audience*
[Chalks] YEEEEES. Certainly a LOT more yes than no, and YES would be the best answer to proceed with.

Does it have moving parts?

A stone pyramid for dead people to go inside?

A public lavatory?

A pig sty?

[Quen] Moving parts? No.
[irach] Stone pyramid for dead people? No. *scattering of applause*
[Rosie] Public lav? No.
[Ink] Pig Sty? No.

A single, specific building?

[INJ] Single, specific, No.

A crematorium?

Public lavatory?

Is it made from stone?

Are they still being widely built?

[ig] Crem? NO. * a stir of interest in the audience *
[irach] Lav? See above.
[Chalky] Stone, YES!
[Ink] Still widely built? No.

A mausoleum?

[Ig] Mausoleum? NO. * audience still interested *

A tumulus?

They're clouds, aren't they?

[INJ] A tumulus? No.

cromlech

Stone sarcophagus?

Is it associated with death?

[Inkspot] Cromlech, no.
[irach] sarcophagus, no
[INJ] Death association, YES.

A crypt?

Although there is a fine distinction between that and a mausoleum...

[CdM] YES - I was thinking specifically of the kind of crypt that sits under a church (and hence is only just classifiable as a building in itself), rather than the more modern type of standalone crypt which is almost synonymous with a vault or mausoleum. * hands baton to CdM, reassumes his clanking chains and retires to his berth in the crypt below, accompanied by organ music*

*returns only to pick up his scythe and pop in a line*

Very well then: VEGETABLE.

Ack, wait, CdM chooses the next item, isn't that right? What a terrible faux pas. Please disregard!

[Quen] Yeah, it's usually the successful guesser who sets the next one... although in this case he hasn't been around for 12 hours. See if he turns up in the next 12 and if not we could go with yours...

Currently alive?

[Q] That's ok. I've set several in the past few weeks (on account of being such a brilliant guesser an' all). Welcome and go right ahead.

Edible?

Quendalon] Welcome - always nice to get new players.

A drink?

To think it took me four years and a box of chocs before my first AMVA ;)

A single specific object?

Thank you all for the kind welcome! This looks like fun. :)

[CdM] No, not currently alive.
[Irouléguy] Not edible.
[Inkspot] Definitely not a drink.
[ImNotJohn] YES, a single specific object.

Made of wood?

[Quendalon] Come to a pilg and play it in person. It's much harder that way!

[Darren] (the judges confer) Partially, if not wholly. What's a pilg?

smaller than a telephone box?

[Quendalon] 'pilg' is a shortened form of 'pilgrimage' which describes any occasion when members of this community actually meet up and well ... erm ... y'know the sort of thing. There are some fine archives of Pilgs in OrangeMC - just look under Local Information in the index, then click on MC, then click on Pilgrims. Also there is a Chat Game called 'To be A Pilgrim' which may give you some insight.

Is it an item of furniture?

Pilgs (short for pilgrimages) are when we all go to a particular place to meet up and play games in person. We do them usually a few times a year, mostly to the Head of Steam pub in London, plus the big one which has, up to this year, taken place in Rugby, where we make a weekend of it. The last one took place earlier this month. (Next year's is likely to be closer to Leicester.) See the game "To Be a Pilgrim" on Orange for more info. And I was simulposted by Chalky.

Ah, okay. Unfortunately a pilg is unlikely as I'm across the water and in poor financial straits besides. Alas!

[Chalky] Yes, smaller than a telephone box.
[Darren] No, not an item of furniture.

smaller than a toaster?

[Chalky] You could probably fit it into a toaster with some effort.

Is it connected with the arts?

[Darren] Not directly, no.

Is this object in Europe?

Does it stand for anything?

Connected with sport?

The judges have rebuked me for providing incorrect information. Contrary to one of my answers to Darren, the subject does not currently contain any wood; moreover, it contains an ABSTRACT component. One judge testily observed that I should not have taken on such a complicated subject for my first time around.

[Darren] The item currently asserted to be the subject is in Europe, yes.
[Projoy] It has powerful symbolic value to many.
[ImNotJohn] NO, not connected with sport.

Connected with religion?

[Darren] YES, connected with religion. (applause)

The Burning Bush?

Is it some sort of acoutrement?

Is the religion Christianity?

[Phil] The Burning Bush? No. [Projoy] An accoutrement? Um... sort of. [Darren] YES, the religion is Christianity.

Let's try that again, with line breaks this time!

[Phil] The Burning Bush? No.
[Projoy] An accoutrement? Um... sort of.
[Darren] YES, the religion is Christianity.

Worn on the head?

The Turin Shroud?

The Sudarium of Oviedo?

[Projoy] Worn on the head? YES. (more applause)
[Raak] The Shroud of Turin? No.
[Darren] I've never even heard of the Sudarium of Oviedo, so no. :-)

The Spear of Longinus?

Oops, missed the q about worn on the head.

The Pope's hat?

Worn by a living person?

The Sudarium of Oviedo is a piece of cloth said to have been placed on Jesus' face shortly after the crucifixion, and bears stains believed to be the blood of Christ. So now you know.

Crown of Thorns?

[Phil] No wood in it, apparently, "these days".

[Raak] Papal tiara? No.
[Darren] Worn by a living person? No.
[Phil] Crown of Thorns? YES. (the audience cheers)

Over to you, Phil!

[Quen] Ah. Cool. But what did you mean by "the subject does not currently contain any wood" - as in, it doesn't currently exist?

[Quen] I agree with Projoy's point there. If you're saying it doesn't currently exist, then why weren't the other questions answered in the same way? "Is it an accoutrement? Not right now. Is it a single specific object? Not any more." That may seem pedantic, but this is an MC site, after all!

For once I'll ignore pedantry and celebrate my magnificent victory with at least one mug of coffee :)

Next item for your illation is ANIMAL

Living?

[irach] Living? YES

Human?

[Darren] Human? YES

Male?

A politician?

Over 40?

British?

[Projoy] Male? YES
[Rosie] Politician? YES
[Quendalon] Over 40? YES
[Inkspot] British? NO

European?

[Inkspot] European? YES *Audience wonders if 6 Yesses out of 7 is a new record*

An official of the EU?

Berlusconi?

working to get the average down

Nicolas Sarkozy?

Eastern European (i.e. east of the old iron curtain)?

A president?

American?

Putin?

[Raak] EU Official? NO
[CdM] Berlusconi? NO
[Irouléguy] Sarkozy? NO
[Projoy] E. Europe? NO
[Inkspot] A president? NO
[Kim] American? NO
[irach] Putin? NO
*Audience wishes it had kept its collective gob shut*

Member of a centre-left party?

French?

Currently head of state?

Irish?

As distinct from British.

Currently in the news?

A grandee, i.e. semi-retired?

A member of a party currently in government?

Scandinavian?

Can't blame me for asking.

[Inkspot] Centre-left party? NO (carefully)
[Chalky] French? NON
[irach] Head of state? NO (again,carefully)
[Darren] Irish? YES *applause*
[Raak] In the news? In his own country, yes.
[Rosie] Semi-retired? NO
[Irouléguy] In government? YES
[Néa] Scandinavian? NO

Bertie Ahern?

[Projoy] Pádraig Parthalán Ó hEachthairn (aka Patrick Bartholomew "Bertie" Ahern)? YES
I had to tread carefully around the "centre-left" as Fianna Fail was originally a centre-left party, but is no longer. Also, as Taoiseach, he's not a head of state, just a head of government. An Uachtarán (Mary McAleese) is the head of state.

Congrats to Projoy! - actually he was slightly in the news recently, as I saw him on TV on Sunday at the Ryder Cup.

OK. ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE and ANIMAL connections.

Fictional?

[Darren] Fictional? Strictly speaking, this is a N/A. But YES will probably be more helpful.

Connected with religion?

[Quen] Connected with religion? NO, not really.

A figure of speech?

Is the animal connection human?

Is the vegetable connection wood?

A fictitious creature?

[Ink] Figure of speech? NO
[INJ} Human animal connection: YES
[Kim] Veg connection wood? NO
[Raak] A fictitious creature? NO.

Something symbolic?

A place?

Connected with the arts?

[Raak] Symbolic? NOT REALLY
[Chalky] A place? NO
[Quen] Connected with the arts? YES

The performing arts?

[INJ] performing arts? NO.

A painting?

[Projoy] A daub? NO.

[Darren] See previous comment to myself.

[Projoy] You must stop doing that, you know. First sign of madness.

[Projoy] Ooh. Look who's talking!

Connected with sculpture?

Is it a style?

[Raak] Sculpture? NO
[Quen] Style? NO

Is it an organisation of some sort?

Is it a work of art?

Is it a period of art history?

[Chalky] Organisation, NO
[Quen] A work of art, YES
[Darren] Period of art history, NO

Simon Patterson's 'The Great Bear'?

[Chalky] Simon and his amazing dancing tube map? NO.

Is it a work of fiction?

[Q] A work of fiction? YES (and it's therefore fictional in the sense its content is fictional, but also non-fictional in the sense that it exists (the opposite, one might say, of Causabon's Key to All Mythologies or the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.)

)

Written in the 20th century?

[Darren] C20th? Yes.

Author British?

[irach] Brit author? YES.

A comic strip?

[Ink] Comic strip, NO.

A humourous novel?

Has it won a major literary prize?

A C.S. Lewis work?

[Kim] humorous? NO
[Ink] Prizewinning? NO * a couple of lowbrow titters from the audience*
[irach] Lewis? NO * a couple of erudite titters from the audience*

First published since 1945?

Tolkien?

"Leaf by Niggle"

...?

A poem?

Made into a movie or TV series?

[INJ] published since 1945? NO
[Raak] Tolkien? Leaf by Niggle? NO
[Inkspot] Pome? NO
[irach] Made into a movie/TV series? YES and YES.

[INJ] PS. There is a sort-of case to be made for a YES answer to your question in addition to NO.

A series of books?

Are the vegetable and animal referred to in the title?

Was the author born before 1900?

In the genre of fantasy?

[Rosie] A series? NO *some chuckles from the audience at the thought of it*
[Raak] References in the title to the vegetable? NO. Or the animal? YES.
[Inkspot] Natally prior to first New York Electric Buses? YES
[Quen] Fantasy genre? *appreciative laughter and clapping from the audience* NO.

Science fiction?

Is the title the name of a major character?

SciFi? NO *a more contemplative mood steals over the audience, some smiling wryly but privately at this thought, others casting their eyes down and listening with a neutral expression*
[Darren] Title the name of a major character? *some of the audience look up. Two people bite their bottom lips.* NO.

(To be more useful...) Does the title contain the name of a major character?

First published before 1930?

Is the author male?

Was it written for children?

[Darren] Eponymity? YES
[Quen] Published before 1930, YES
[ir] Male author? YES
[Ink] Written for children? *much laughter from the audience* NO.

[Darren] Er, I meant broad eponymity, rather than narrow, YES.

Pornographic?

[Phil] Pr0nographic? YES *applause*

Lady Chatterley's Lover?

Quendalon must be right. I trust he/she has a pornograph.

Would you want your wife or servants...?

[Quendalon] Indeed, YES!. Lady C and John Thomas it is.

[Projoy] What was the vegetable connection? Is there a notorious scene set in the kitchen garden, involving provocatively-shaped parsnips?

[Raak] Lady Chatterley's Lover is a novel, thus printed on paper.

(well, until recent digital innovations)

Incidentally, I'd never noticed before that the prosecution's "wife or servants" remark, although it certainly was out of touch, is a rhetorical way of activating the jealousy of rich husbands. Don't put ideas in their heads, it suggests, or you too may be cuckolded. Had always assumed before now it was just a general appeal to protect the weak-minded from moral corruption.

[Projoy] I was going to guess LC'sL, but the wry smiles at the Sci-fi question put me off...

[Phil] They were just the more imaginative members of the audience picturing the whole thing done in foil suits on a flying saucer.

For your pleasure: ABSTRACT

All together now... A human construct?

[Projoy] Human construct? YES.

A philosophy?

[Projoy] I think I've seen that website ;-)

To do with science?

[Projoy] You know, there is such a thing as being too imaginative.

[Phil] A philosophy? NO.
[Darren] Related to science? NO.

Connected with emotion?

Related to the arts?

[Darren] Connected with emotion? YES. (laughter from the audience)
[ImNotJohn] Related to the arts? YES. (more laughter)

An emotion?

[Darren] It least it was foil not fur ;-)

[Phil] An emotion? NO.

A type of comedy?

[Raak] A type of comedy? NO.

An action?

[Inkspot] An action? NO.

Connected with positive emotions?

[Projoy] Connected with positive emotions? YES. (another giggle from the audience)

Connected with sex?

Going by the giggles and titters.

Hm. Human construct. Connected with fetishes?

[Darren] Connected with sex? NO. (The audience is giggling because the last three YES answers, while technically correct, are all somewhat misleading. It's not a nice audience.)
[Projoy] Connected with fetishes? In the supernatural (not sexual) sense, YES.

To do with religion?

Is this specific to a particular culture?

Worship of some unusual object or event?

[Raak] To do with religion? NO, not really.
[Irouléguy] Specific to a particular culture? In its original incarnation, YES; in its modern incarnation, NO.
[Rosie] Worship of some unusual object or event? NO.

To clarify things a bit: the ABSTRACT in question experienced a shift in use and meaning over time. The connection with emotion and the supernatural apply only to the original version, not the current one.

(Next time I choose an object for AVMA, it'll be something simple like a tomato.)

Feng Shui?

[Chalky] Feng Shui? NO.

To do with language?

[Projoy] To do with language? YES. (the audience cheers)

To do with magic?

Swearing?

[Projoy] To do with magic? Originally, sometimes. Now, no.
[Rosie] Swearing? No.

A particular form of words?

Any medical connection?

[Projoy] Words? NO. [Rosie] Medical connection? NO.

Anything to do with casting out devils?

[Rosie] Casting out devils? NO.

I suspect that I have put people on the wrong track, so if anyone would like a hint, let me know.

Something ceremonial?

Far too early for a hint, yet.

Is the culture that this was originally specific to an Asian one?

[Darren] Ceremonial? NO.
[Irouléguy] From an Asian culture? NO.

An inscription?

[Rosie] Inscription? Sometimes, though not so often in the modern day.

To do with death?

An obituary?

An epitaph?

[Darren] To do with death? NO.
[ImNotJohn] An obituary? NO.
[Rosie] An epitaph? NO.

To do with war or the military?

scepticism?

[Quendalon] Rather than a hint - please can you do a summary. It may help us realign ourselves :-)

[Irouléguy] To do with war or the military? NO.
[Chalky] Skepticism? NO.

And now to summarize! I’ll also correct a couple of my own answers where I think I may have misread or misinterpreted your questions. So:

This abstract is a human construct. It was once specific to a particular culture, though not an Asian culture. It has to do with language, but it is not a particular form of words.

It is not an emotion, a philosophy, a type of comedy, an action, an epitaph or obituary, or Feng Shui.

It is not inherently connected to science, to swearing, to sex, to religion, to the worship of some unusual object or event, to medicine, to casting out devils, to death, to war or the military, or to skepticism.

Notably, the subject has experienced a shift in use over time. Originally, it had a connection with positive emotion, was often inscribed (in the sense of being etched into a solid surface), and was sometimes connected with magic. These all still apply when the subject is put to its original use. In its modern use, it has no connection with positive emotion or magic, and is still inscribed in the sense of being written down, though rarely (if ever) in the sense of being etched into a solid surface.

Is it writing?

A swastika?

Wait, not Asian. Nevermind.

Is it a symbol of some kind?

Is it Aboriginal?

[Darren] We've already established that it is something that is written; if you're asking if the subject is the overall concept of 'writing', then NO.
[Projoy] Is it a symbol of some kind? YES. (cheers from the audience)
[Dazed5] Is it Aboriginal... assuming you're talking about Australian aborigines here, then NO.

Might I find it on my keyboard somewhere?

A Greek letter?

[Projoy] I can't speak for your keyboard, but it's not on mine.
[Rosie] A Greek letter? NO.

Is it a rune?

Might I find it on the ASCII character map for a regular Western font?

Does it have a Unicode definition?

A trademark?

A hieroglyph ?

[Kim] Is it a rune? YES.
[Projoy] On the ASCII character map for a regular Western font? Uncertain, but I've checked several common fonts and haven't been able to find it.
[Raak] Does it have a Unicode definition? YES.
[Chalky] A trademark? NO.
[Inkspot] A hieroglyph? NO.

The Star of David?

[Raak] Star of David? NO.

Is it any sort of star shape?

[Raak] Not a star shape, no.

Does it have any completely enclosed areas in its shape (ie. any loops or closed polygonal components)?

[Darren] Does it have any completely enclosed areas in its shape? YES.

Triangle?

[irach] Is it a triangle? NO.

An ankh?

A cross of any sort?

Does it turn up in the regular Wingdings font?

Did it originate in the middle east?

[ImNotJohn] An ankh? NO.
[Raak] A cross of some sort? NO.
[Projoy] In Wingdings? I don't believe so.
[Inkspot] Did it originate in the Middle East? NO.

(You guys are drifting off the track; I suspect you're misreading one of the recent answers. Would you like me to provide clarification?)

From the Futhark?

Runic letter Sowilo?

[Projoy] Originally from the Futhark? Elder Futhark, YES. Younger Futhark, NO.
[Inkspot] Sowilo? NO.

(which I think is called odal or othalan)

<>< ?

(oooops)

From the Freyr/Freyja's Aett?

As opposed to the Heimdall's Aett or Tyr's Aett

[CdM] Odal/Othalan? NO.
[Inkspot] Freyr/Freyja's Aett? YES.

Thorn?

[Raak] Thorn? NO.

Kenaz (the leading light)?

Wunjo?

[irach] Kenaz? NO.
[Inkspot] Wunjo/Wynn? YES. (cheers from the crowd)

Over to you, Inkspot...

... and I haven't the foggiest what all that was about. :) heyho

Yes, that was painfully obscure. My apologies! All I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time. :-p

[Inkspot] If I were you, I'd select a steam engine.

*is an unapologetic obscurist*

from the home of Steam

A win there with a little help from others, and learnt a little about runes in the process.

So a Abstract with Animal and Vegetable connections

Anything to do with cookery?

Is the animal connection human?

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe?

[Raak]- no
[Chalky] - yes
[Kim] - no

out of practice

[Raak] - Anything to do with cookery? NO
[Chalky] - Is the animal connection human?YES
[Kim] - The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe? NO

To do with the arts?

just not a morning person

There is a Mineral connection so...
The clue should have read Abstract with Animal, Mineral and Vegetable connections

ImNotJohn - To do with the arts? NO

To do with sports?

[Raak] - To do with sports? NO

Is the animal connection a fictional human or humans?

[Irouléguy] - Is the animal connection a fictional human?YES ripple of applause from the audience

Does the fictional aspect account for the "abstract" part of the clue?

[Phil] - Does the fictional aspect account for the "abstract" part of the clue? YES A whispering murmur from the audience

Is the fictional aspect from a novel?

[Irouléguy] Is the fictional aspect from a novel? YES several members of the audience about to go to the bar for a shandy return to their seats

Was the novel written more recently than 1900?

Written since 1950?

Written by a British writer?

Are the vegetable and mineral bits mentioned in the title - or are they the paper and ink part of the novel?

[Quendalon] - Was the novel written more recently than 1900? YES
[Projoy] - Written since 1950? YES
[ImNotJohn] - Written by a British writer?NO
[Chalky] - Are the vegetable and mineral bits mentioned in the title - or are they the paper and ink part of the novel?
NO and YES to in the title and paper as the vegetable YES (had not considered the ink when setting the clue but yes it is printed with ink but was not part of the clue)

Written since 1980?

[Inkspot] Just to clarify: the VEGETABLE component is the paper, and the MINERAL component is part of the title?

[Quendalon] Written since 1980? Yes and NO wry smiles litter the audience

clarification:VEGETABLE component is the paper, and the MINERAL component is part of the title? YES

Is this a series of stories?

[Chalky] Is this a series of stories? YES loud applause from the audience

Spider Robinson's 'Callahan's bar' stories?

Just managed to track down the one-volume compendium - well pleased.

[Irouléguy]Spider Robinson's 'Callahan's bar' stories?NO an exited Oooooooooooh from the audience

Is the mineral stone?

[Raak]Is the mineral stone? NO

Is the mineral metal?

[Chalky]Is the mineral metal? YES cheers from the audience

Is the mineral gold?

Lord of the Rings?

The Book of Lost Tales?

Fits the 1980 thing better.

[Kim] Is the mineral gold?No
[Raak] Lord of the Rings?No
[Raak ] The Book of Lost Tales?No
the audience sit back back into their seats

Is it science fiction/fantasy?

[Raak] Is it science fiction/fantasy?YES the bell rings in the bar the audience quickly pile back into their seats

Is the fictional human that forms the "animal" component also part of the title?

[Quendalon]Is the fictional human that forms the "animal" component also part of the title? YES some argy-bargy in the audience as some laughing pedants are calling out NO

Just one human?

[Projoy] Just one human? YES the audience rise from their slumber

Is it a trilogy?

[Quendalon] Is it a trilogy? NO

Has it been made into a film?

Harry Harrison's 'Stainless steel rat' series?

Inspired by the answer to Quendalon's penultimate question.

[Raak] Has it been made into a film?NO

Irouléguy raucous cheers and foot stomping from the audience YES It is the Stainless Steel Rat from the series written by Harry Harrison. Over to you.

A series I've always meant to look at, and never got round to. Good game, good game! Our next is ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections.

Fictional?

Is the "animal" human?

Raak] Fictional? No
Quendalon] Is the "animal" human? Yes

Is this some class of people?

Connected with emotion?

Anarcho-syndicalism?

One day I'm going to be right

A lion's share?

Raak] Is this some class of people? No
Darren] Connected with emotion? Connected with, no; provoking, possibly...
ImNotJohn] Anarcho-syndicalism? There's a great day a-comin' - but not today
irach] A lion's share? See the answer to Quendalon

An event?

Is there more than one of it?

(Incidentally, feel free to answer "meaningless" to that if such an answer would be.)

Is the "animal" a specific human?

Does this involve an association of people?

Is it an office that a person can hold?

Inkspot] An event? *applause YES
Darren] Is there more than one of it? Yes, though there can only be one at a time.
Quendalon] Is the "animal" a specific human? Yes, but not necessarily the same one.
Rosie] Does this involve an association of people? *more applause* An association of people is a necessary but not sufficent condition for this.
Raak] Is it an office that a person can hold? *some quickly stifled giggles* No.

A ceremonial event?

A sporting event?

Is it connected to a date on the calender?

Is it an event with which people are generally pleased to be associated?

Raak] A ceremonial event? No
Chalky] A sporting event? No
Inkspot] Is it connected to a date on the calender? No
Darren] Is it an event with which people are generally pleased to be associated? Yes

Does it involve some common interest of the participants?

Raak] Does it involve some common interest of the participants? Sorry, I simmed. I'm going to answer 'no', as that's the most useful answer, I think.

A party?

Rosie] A party? No (neither sense)

Is it planned in advance?

A birth?

A birthday?

Darren] Is it planned in advance? Er...yes and no
ImNotJohn] A birth? No
Quendalon - A birthday? No

Connected with employment?

Connected with money?

Quendalon] Connected with employment? No
Darren] Connected with money? No

A school reunion?

Raak] A school reunion? No

Is it astronomical?

Inkspot] Is it astronomical? Startlingly, no

To do with the Internet?

Have most people experienced this at some point?

Raak] To do with the Internet? *applause* In practice, yes (though this could in theory happen offline as well).
Darren] Have most people experienced this at some point? No

A chatroom?

Associated with a particular website?

Rosie] A chatroom? No
Darren] Associated with a particular website? My experience of it is on one particular website, but I don't know if it originated there

Associated with a particular culture(s)?

To do with playing games on the Internet?

To do with MC websites?

A blind date?

Quendalon] Associated with a particular culture(s)? Broadly, yes
Raak - To do with playing games on the Internet? *applause YES
Darren - To do with MC websites? *louder applause, whistling and cheers* YES
Chalky - A blind date? No

mc5?

AVMA?

The game of Mornington Crescent?

I hope this doesn't blow a fuse, so to speak.

Raak - mc5? *stamping of feet, cries of 'bravo'* Yes
Darren] AVMA? *stunned silence from the audience, distracted by a replay of Paul Robinson's error on the giant screens above the stage* YES!
Rosie] The game of Mornington Crescent? *deflated sighs* No

The Morniverse?

Assuming that none of the preceding was the winning move.

Raak] The Morniverse? No.

Sorry, I was reading the preceding moves as prefaced by 'To do with...'. To clarify the over-enthusiastic audience response, the answer is to do with this site, specifically AVMA (it doesn't occur in any other current game on this site), though it almost certainly occurs on other websites, and could in theory occur in the realiverse.

An audience?

Raak] An audience? No

A correct guess?

Darren] A correct guess? *the audience holds its breath* Almost - the answer is a particular sort of correct guess.

A correct guess on the first move?

The answer to this question?

In danger of disappearing up its own logical fundament.

Darren - A correct guess on the first move? *older members of the audience are turning purple waiting to exhale* No
ImnotJohn - The answer to this question? It could be

An accidental correct guess?

Darren - An accidental correct guess? It could be
Hint - the initials have another, very different, meaning elsewhere in the Morniverse.

The winning move?

Rosie - The winning move? Yes, but... Not every winning move is one of these.

A lurker's victory?

*the audience exhales noisily, too breathless to cheer* YES - a lurker's victory it is (it seemed like a good idea when I set it). Darren, the baton's all yours.

This particular round is...

MINERAL

Begins with P?

[Irouléguy] Nice one. I did consider setting "the next answer" when I actually got a go, but chickened out ;)

[Tuj] Begins with P? One of the words does.

Is there just one of these?

[Raak] Just one of these? No.

Are there 2 words on the card?

[Tuj] Two words on the card? Indeed.

Does it occur in nature?

[Quendalon] Does it occur in nature? No.

Does it involve electricity?

Does it have any moving parts?

Is the mineral metal?

A frisbee?

Is it a man made mass produced item?

[Rosie] Does it involve electricity? Yes.
[Quendalon] Does it have any moving parts? Yes. (misleading?)
[ImNotJohn] Is the mineral metal? Not entirely.
[Irouléguy] No.
[Inkspot] Is it a man made mass produced item? Yes.

is the non-metal part a liquid?

[ImNotJohn] Is the non-metal part a liquid? No.

A buzzer?

Is the first of the words on the card "A"?

A pylon?

[Rosie] Buzzer? No.
[Raak] Is the first of the words "A"? No.
[Projoy] Pylon? No.

Is entertainment its primary purpose?

[Quendalon] Primary purpose=entertainment? No.

Is it connected with writing?

[Raak] Connected with writing? No.

Is it connected with travel?

Was it invented in the last hundred years?

[Quendalon] Is it connected with travel? Yes!
[Tuj] Was it invented in the last hundred years? Yes!

Parking meter?

[Quendalon] Parking meter? No.

To do with flying?

[Raak] To do with flying? No.

Does one take this on one's travels?

Is it a component of a larger object?

Was it invented before 1960?

To do with computers?

[Rosie] Does one take this on one's travels? Certain travels, yes.
[Quendalon] Is it a component of a larger object? No.
[Inkspot]Was it invented before 1960? No.
[Tuj] To do with computers? Well... yes, but, in a more meaningful sense, no.

Mobile phone?

[Irouléguy] Mobile phone? No.

Invented in the last decade?

[Tuj] Invented in the last decade? Probably not. (Sorry to be imprecise on that one, but although they've only become common recently I wouldn't be surprised if they'd existed in, say, the 1980s.)

Is it a container?

[Inkspot] Is it a container? No.

Is one of the words "portable"?

[Quendalon] Is one of the words "portable"? No.

Is the purpose of this device entertainment?

GPS Navigation system?

Does it involve superconductivity?

[Rosie] Purpose=entertainment? No. (See Quendalon's question earlier.)
[irach] GPS? No.
[Quendalon] Does it involve superconductivity? No.

An electronic device?

[Raak] Electronic device? Yes.

A digital camera?

A data projector?

[Rosie] Digital camera? No.
[Raak] Data projector? No.

A communication device?

Is it a conduit of some sort?

One of those fancy car keys?

Sorry about the imprecision - I drive a banger.

Is it required for travelling abroad?

A mobile phone?

[Raak] A communication device? No.
[Quendalon] A conduit of some sort? No. (Well, unless you meant in a very abstracted sense!)
[Rosie] Fancy car keys? No.
[Inkspot] Required for travelling abroad? No.
[Tuj] Mobile phone? No. (See Irouléguy's question earlier.)

Connected with road travel specifically?

[INJ] Connected with road travel specifically? No.

Is it something a traverrler would carry?

Biometric Passport?

A credit card?

[Inkspot] Is it something a traverrler would carry? Depends what a "traverrler" is.
[ImNotJohn] Biometric Passport? No.
[Rosie] Credit card? No.

Is it connected to hygiene?

Packing bags till the next game.

A "traverrler" is someone that ends up at the wrong destination.

[Quendalon] Is it connected to hygiene? No.
[Inkspot] I wasn't trying to be pedantic - I thought it might be a word I didn't know.

Is it connected to vehicles?

[Quendalon] Is it connected to vehicles? Definitely not.

A clock of some sort?

Connected with computer software?

[Raak] A clock of some sort? Part of it is, usually.
[Quendalon] Connected with computer software? Only in the sense that it contains some.

Time for a recap, methinks.

What we know so far:

It contains two words. One begins with P. Neither word is simply "a," or "portable."

It's a man-made mass produced electronic device, and there is more than one of it. It does not occur in nature. It has parts which move. Its construction involves metal (among other things), but no liquids. It is not a component of a larger object. It does not involve superconductivity. It was invented (as a whole item) some time after 1980, although the basic principles it uses were known long before that (that's a new hint). It usually includes a clock of some sort, and would contain a computer program within it.

It is not primarily for entertainment, nor is it connected with writing. It's nothing to do with hygiene.

It is connected with travel, but not flying or vehicles. You would take it on certain travels. It is not required for travelling abroad, nor is it specific to road travel.

It is not a frisbee, a buzzer, a pylon, a parking meter, a mobile phone, a container, a GPS navigation system, a digital camera, a data projector, a conduit, fancy car keys, a biometric passport, or a credit card.

Does the "P" stand for "personal"?

Is it smaller than a toaster?

A pedometer?

[Rosie] "P" stands for "personal"? No.
[Rosie] Smaller than a toaster? Yes.
[Raak] A pedometer? Yes!!!! (But that's not all. You've only got one of the words on the card. I'm looking for a pedometer with an extra feature.)

The second answer there was directed at Projoy, not Rosie. Sorry.

A digital pedometer?

A pedometer mounted in a shoe?

[Raak 1] Digital pedometer? Well, it is, but that's not the special feature I'm after.
[Raak 2] Mounted in a shoe? No.

A talking pedometer?

[Raak] Talking pedometer? YES!!!
So, it's over to Raak for the next round!

I never knew there were such things.

The next is MINERAL or VEGETABLE, with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it mass-produced?

A stairway to heaven?

Begins with P?

[Q] Mass-produced? No.
[I] Not a stairway to heaven.
[T] Does not begin with P.

Min or Veg = metal or wood?

Associated with a particular country or culture?

[R] Not metal/wood.
[C] Not associated with a particular country or culture.

Is it a liquid?

Is the mineral water?

[I, I] Not liquid, not water.

Does it have religious significance?

Does it have religious significance?

(Sorry, putting it in the right hole.)

[D] No religious significance.

(Ignore the fundamentalist crank in the audience raving to the contrary.)

Is it an item of clothing?

[C] Not clothing.

Is it an implement of some kind?

[K] Not an implement.

Any moving parts?

[I] No moving parts.

Is it bigger than a breadbox?

[Q] Not bigger than a breadbox.

Is it associated with a time of the year?

[I] Not associated with a time of the year.

Is it edible?

[C] Not edible.
Clarifying a previous answer re metal/wood: never any metal, possibly some wood.

Is the possible mineral stone?

[I] Not stone.

A gas/plasma?

We've eliminated metal, liquid, stone - what else is there.....

[I] Not gas or plasma.

There are plenty of other forms of mineral.

Does this occur naturally?

[I] Does not occur naturally.

ship in a bottle?

[j] Not a ship in a bottle.

Ready for a clue yet?

Plastic?

[R] Yes!

Is there only one of these?

(I assume mineral/vegetable because plastic can be made from either of these)

[I] There are many.
Actually, I was thinking of plastics as made primarily from petrochemicals (i.e. mineral), although having checked I see that vegetable substances are still used..

Is it flexible?

Odd that it's plastic but is not mass produced...

[Q] It is flexible.

A credit or debit card?

Is it connected to the arts?

[R] (hopeful murmurs in the audience) Not a credit or debit card.
[Q] Not connected to the arts.

Is it essentially flat?

i.e. 2 of the dimensions are several times greater than the third.

[I] It is flat.

Used in a game?

[I] Not used in a game.

A loyalty card?

A mouse mat?

A driver's license?

[C] (more interested murmurs from the audience) Not a loyalty card, or a driver's licence.
[I] (stony stares) Not a mouse mat.

Is it a card one would need to sign?

Is it used for identification?

Is it decorative?

[C] It might be.
[I] (singing and dancing breaks out) YES.
[INJ] No.

An identity card?

Always go for the obvious, I say.

[P] Papers please? YES. An identity card.

OK, a fairly straightforward one: ANIMAL

Mammal?

human?

Hmmm. An interesting answer to the mass-produced? question.
Here's another thought - when does vegetable become mineral if we talk about say peat, lignite, coal?

[INJ] An ID card may be produced in large numbers, but by definition it cannot be mass-produced. I'd classify peat as vegetable, lignite and coal as mineral. A seashel is mineral with animal connections.

Alive?

[Q] Mammal - YES
[INJ] Human - YES
[Raak] Alive - N/A

[Raak] Actually, I'll very slightly shift the answer as otherwise the category is wrong (i.e. it would be ABSTRACT too), so I would now answer YES.

A head of state?

Some kind of job title?

[Queen, er, Quen] Head of state - NO
[Toozh] Job title - NO

[Tuj] Oh, and just to save time, it doesn't begin with a P.

The man on the Clapham omnibus?

A particular individual?

male?

[Raak] I possess several mass-produced identity cards.

Connected to religion?

[Rosie] Claphambusman - NO
[Ig] An individual - NO
[INJ] Male? Hmmm, a not very convinced YES
[Ink] Religious connection - NO

Fictional?

A generic description?

[Ig] Fictional - NO
[Rosie] Generic - NO

Begins with R?

[Projoy] Your free information gives me a bonus question!

[Tuj] Begins with R - NO :)

A particular group of individuals?

[Tuj] Group of individuals - NO

Sperm?

[Quen] Spermatozoa - NO

MC related?

[Tuj] MC related - NO, not really

A body part or parts?

[Ig] body part - YES *applause*

The brain (going by the earlier "not very convinced YES")?

A body part of a specific person?

My Left Foot?

[Ink] Brain - NO
[Raak] specific person - YES
[INJ] Your left foot - NO

Is this a proverbially useless thing?

A transplanted organ?

[Raak] not at all proverbial, although arguably somewhat useless
[Inkspot] transplanted organ - NO

A limb?

[Ig] A limb - NO

Does the arguable uselessness stem from the incompetence with which the specific individual uses this body part?

[Rosie] Does the arguable... NO

A vestigial organ?

Is the organ's owner British?

Appendix?

[Raak] vestigial organ - NO
[Ig] British owner - YES
[ir] Coda - NO

A public figure?

[Raak] public figure - NO

My arse?

My Arse my arse.

Someone's arse?

Foucault's Pendulum?

*snigger*

Is the first word on the card a pronoun?

[Rosie/Ig] Nobody's arse
[Kim] Big, swinging dangly thing - NO
[Tuj] Pronoun appears in the answer? NO
*hint - I only made it belong to someone in particular to stop it having to be classified as abstract*

Somebody's bald patch?

Is it in/on the upper half of the body?

Is it connected to one of the senses?

Is it an implant of some kind?

[Raak] Bald patch - NO
[Ig] Upper half - YES (yay, deductive questioning!)
[Ink] connected to a sense - well, YES, but not in the way I suspect you mean. It's not a sense organ.
[Chalky] Implant - NO

Is it above the collar bone?

Would it be normally visible, if one were in this person's presence and not on intimate terms with them?

Could it be removed without doing permanent harm?

Does this person have a particular connection to you?

Is it smaller than an egg cup?

Are you the person who is attached to this body part?

[Ink] Above collar bone - NO
[Raak] visible - NO
[INJ] Could it be removed without permanent harm - depends a bit on your definition of harm, but essentially YES
[Ig] A connection to me? YES
[Chalky] Smaller than an egg cup - NO
[Chalky again] Am I attached? YES *applause*

Your spleen?

[Raak] My spleen - NO *collective intake of breath

Your tonsils?

[Ig] Tonsils - NO (as a matter of fact, I parted company with those some 26 years ago).

Is the answer an idiomatic phrase?

Gallbladder?

[Rosie] Not idiomatic
[irach] Projoy's Gallbladder - YES! - I was originally going to just go with "the human gallbladder" but quickly realised that in terms of specific/generic questions that was going to be more trouble that it's worth. *hands the baton to irach*

Here we go again.... The next one is simply ANIMAL.

Human?

[Quendalon] Human? Yes.

Alive?

[Chalky] No, not alive. Dead as a doornail.

Male?

[INJ] Male? Yes.

Born in the last 500 years?

[Raak] No, born earlier than 500 year ago.

European?

[Inkspot] Yes, European.

Regal?

[Projoy] Surely "Projoy's gallbladder" begin's with a P? And it can't be "my gallbladder" as you said there was no pronoun on the card...

[Tuj]. Yes. Certainly of regal stature.

Charlemagne?

A royal?

[Tuj] I was using my real name on the card :P

British?

Was he ugly?

[Quendalon] Not Charlemagne.
[Irouleguy] Not a royal.
[Darren] No, not British.
[Chalky] Ugly? Not that I know of, or in historical depictions. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, anyway.

Nostradamus?

Begins with P?

[Projoy] :D perfect answer

...unless you're bluffing...

Middle Eastern?

[Chalky] Not Nostradamus.
[Tuj] No "P" beginnings.
[Rosie] Not Middle Eastern.

An author?

Famous for an invention/discovery?

born before 1000CE?

An artist?

[Raak] Not an author.
[Tuj} Not famous for an invention or discovery
[INJ] Born before 1000 CE? Yes.
[Inkspot] Not an artist.

A north european?

A religious leader?

[Inkspot] Not Northern European.
[Chalky] Not a religious leader.

Was he born after 43 AD?

Julius Caesar?

[Inkspot] No, born before 43AD.
[Rosie] Et tu, Rosie? You are correct!!! YES!!! Julius Caesar it is!

Heavens to Murgatroyd, I've won! *Lies down for a few minutes*

That's better. This is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections. Only very tangentially associated with steam engines, and then only a few types. Hope that narrows the field a bit.

Is the animal connection a bird?

Bravo.

Phoenix rising from the ashes?

Is the animal connection human?

(Tuj) - No bird connection
irach - Imaginative, but wrong, alas
(Projoy) Can be a human connection, but certainly not necessarily.

Perhaps we should forget about the very tangential association with the iron horse, which is not helpful, and which I'll explain at the end.

Connected with the arts?

(Quendalon) - Most definitely not connected with the arts.

An invention?

(Raak) - Not an invention.

Connected with mathematics?

(Projoy) - No connection with mathematics.

A human invention?

(Tuj) Not any kind of invention. See Raak's question.

A process?

A group of animals?

(Quendalon) - Not really, but a process, in the broad sense, is involved.
(Irouléguy) - Not a group of animals.

Connected with movement?

Begins with P?

[Rosie] Sorry for wasting your time with that. I'll learn to read.

(Quendalon) - Not connected with movement. *audience bursts into laughter*

Something to do with death?

Sleep?

(Raak) - Nothing to do with death.
(Quendalon) - Not sleep.

Is this fictional?

(Irg) - Not fictional.

A turn of phrase?

Was my last qeustion so predictable as to be ignored?

Is the animal connected to a particular part of tthe world?

(Tuj) Sorry - all I saw was your apology, now it's my turn. Does not begin with P.
(Inkspot) - No regional connection.

(Tuj) - Not a turn of phrase.

A human construct?

Is the animal connection a human?

[Rosie] I think I should stop bothering you - I'm jst confusing you and the answer to my question's always no :P

(CdM) - No, not a human construct.
(Tuj) - This question, too, was asked early on by Projoy.

Connected with biology?

(Quendalon) - Yes, biology is involved.

Is the non-human animal a particular animal?

Connected with the absence of movement?

(Irg) - No, not a particular animal.
(Raak) - Yes, connected with absence of movement. *applause, and some smiles, from the audience*

An action taken by an animal?

Dreams?

Does the animal connection refer to a specific attribute or behaviour of the animal?

(Qunedalon) - No, not an action.
(Raak) - Not dreams.
(irach) - No, not an attitude or behaviour on the part of the animal.

Connected with food?

(Quendalon) - Connected with food? Yes.

A pig that wants to be eaten?

A diet?

Ruminating?

Bringing home the bacon?

(Quendalon) - Not a diet.
(Irg) - Not ruminating, but the closest yet.
(irach) - Not bringing home the bacon.

Digestion?

*ahem*

Farting?

(Quendalon) - Not digestion.
(Raak) - Not "ahem" if I read you right.
(irach) - Not farting.

Constipation?

CONSTIPATION! Irouléguy has it! (The answer, I mean). Well done. The Lactulose is handed over to YOU.

Thanks, Rosie. WOO-HOO! On the throne again, so to speak. Our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT again, but no connection with the previous answer (well, almost no connection…)

Is the animal connection human?

Quendalon] Is the animal connection human? Yes

Rosie] What was the steam engine connection?

A single animal?

I gave up on asking Rosie questions, I wasn't very good at it... Sorry Rosie.

A specific named human?

Tuj] A single animal? No
irach] A specific named human? *applause* Yes and no

Fictional?

An expression?

A society of some sort?

Is the human alive today?

(Irouléguy) I'd just been re-reading an autobiography of an outstanding engineer who described a very numerous and apparently popular class of engine has having a "thoroughly constipated front end" (sic), i.e. the exhaust passages were too long and tortuous and much energy was absorbed in just getting rid of the used steam. I'd always thought these locos were crap and I only found out near the end of the steam era, when this book was published, that this was true. Not much relevance to AVMA, as you can see.

Tuj] Fictional? No
Quendalon] An expression? Gordon Bennett! No
Chalky] A society of some sort? *murmuring among the audience* No is the most useful answer
Rosie] Is the human alive today? No and yes (to be read in conjunction with the answer to irach's question).
'crap locos' - well, I got to 'farting', by thinking of the Puffing Billy, so there is a sort of connection.

A role that is filled, at any given moment, by a specific named human?

Connected with religion?

CdM] A role that is filled, at any given moment, by a specific named human? No
Inkspot] Connected with religion? *some giggling in the audience No

A group of people with something in common?

Chalky] A group of people with something in common? *applause YES

Is the group of people composed of both sexes?

Connected to sport?

Do these people engage in some rather dubious activity?

Are these people related by blood?

irach] Is the group of people composed of both sexes? Ye-es, though almost all male
Inkspot] Connected to sport? No
Rosie] Do these people engage in some rather dubious activity? *giggling from sections of the audience* Depends on your definition... No is the more useful answer.
Quendalon] Are these people related by blood? No

Connected with sexual activities?

Did it start in a particular country?

Does the common activity involve drinking?

Quendalon] Connected with sexual activities? *prolonged sniggering from a section of the audience* Activities, no.
Inkspot] Did it start in a particular country? Yes, though there's some dispute as to which country it was.
irach] Does the common activity involve drinking? It might do, but that's not the primary link.

Did it start before 1900?

Inkspot] Did it start before 1900? No

Connected with the military?

A charity organisation?

Quendalon] Connected with the military? No
Inkspot] A charity organisation?

Do they have a medical condition/syndrome in common?

Chalky] Do they have a medical condition/syndrome in common? No

Is this a commercial activity in any way?

Rosie] Is this a commercial activity in any way? Yes - some of the people who do this will get paid for it.

It is likely to involve a journey of some kind?

Is it connected to a time of year?

Kim] It is likely to involve a journey of some kind? Only a circular one ;-)
Inkspot] Is it connected to a time of year? No

Does it take its name from a specific human?

To do with the Arts?

Anuything to do with vehicles?

Quendalon] Does it take its name from a specific human? *some cheering* Yes
Inkspot] To do with the Arts? *more cheering* Yes
Tuj] Anything to do with vehicles? *dead silence* No

Associated with the musical arts?

An exhibition?

irach] Associated with the musical arts? Yes
Rosie] An exhibition? No

A male voice choir?

Chalky - A male voice choir? Dim

A rock band?

irach] A rock band? *some applause* No

The Billy Cotton Band?

Wakey-wakeeee.

(Irg) - re answer to Chalky; I think that should be Nag'dy ( = no, it isn't), if I read you right. Dim means "no" in the sense of "absence of", eg dim o arian, "no (of) money". Diwedd y wers. :-)

Rosie] Billy Cotton? No
Welsh lesson] Thanks - obviously I'm the dim one.

Some sort of popular beat combo, m'lud?

An orchestra?

Does the group still exist?

A Big Band/Dance Band?

(Irg) Well, I wouldn't say that. The problem is that there is no single word for either yes or no in Welsh. You either repeat or negate the verb. Diwedd yr ail wers. (Projoy) You must be older than you look. :-)

Did the group form before 1990?

Projoy] Some sort of popular beat combo, m'lud? No - see irach's earlier question
Botherer] An orchestra? Good to see you here! No
irach - Does the group still exist? It's not a group
Rosie] A Big Band/Dance Band? No. Thanks for the explanation. Interestingly Putonghua Chinese (Mandarin as it's often known) does much the same.
Inkspot - Did the group form before 1990? See earlier answers

Title of a piece of music?

Alexander;

Alexander'S Ragtime Band?

Inkspot] Title of a piece of music? No
irach - Alexander's Ragtime Band? No

Time for a summary? The answer is a group of people with something in common, mostly male. The 'something in common' has connection with rock music, and takes its name from a specific human, but it's not a group. Questions about this involving religion, sexual activities, and being dubious have all drawn giggles or sniggers from the audience. It's not a relationship by blood, or connected with the military (though there was a connection once - sorry, should have noted that earlier), or a charity organisation. It's sometimes done for money, and it may well involve drinking. There's no connection with a particular time of year, and only a jokey connection with journeys.
Writing all that out makes me think that it's glaringly obvious, but perhaps I shouldn't be cruel ;)

Elvis impersonators?

Rosie - Elvis impersonators? YES! So as Rosie was the question-setter before me, the baton is returned to sender.

(Irouléguy) - Actually it was the Lactulose I handed you and you are gracious enough not to hand it back, though I hope you haven't drunk it. I'm told it's rather persuasive.

Right, this one is ABSTRACT, and absolutely nothing to do with steam locos.

Can it be proven by science?

Sorry Rosie if the question is a bit broad, but what I mean is something like magetism or a black hole.

Is there a human element to it?

(Inkspot) - It probably could, but the answer to your question as you intend it is NO.
(irach) - Human element? YES.

Is there a mathematical element to it?

A philosophical idea?

(Quendalon) - No mathematical element.
(Raak) - Not a philospohical idea.

Connected to the brain?

An arrangement of concrete things?

(CdM) - Not connected to the brain.
(Raak) - Not an arrangement of concrete things. You mean physical, I assume.

Is it unique?

(Rosie) So there's a human element, but no Animal connection?

(Quendalon) - Hmm, difficult. Let's say each one is. But that's not very helpful. It needs humans for this abstract thing to manifest itself, so there is an Animal connection, an omission on my part.

Begins with a P?

Sin?

Rosie] Thanks :)

An activity?

(Tuj) - Does not begin with a P.
(Irouléguy) - Nice thought, but not sin. What would I know about that?
(Raak) - Not an activity.

Connected with the body?

Is it connected with the arts?

(Quendalon) - Not connected with the body.
(Kim) - Connected with the arts? It can be on occasions.

Connected with emotion?

Anything to do with the weather?

(Quendalon) - NO! Er, sorry, no connection with emotion.
(Chalky) - Nothing to do with weather.

Is the arts connection (when it arises) limited to one branch of the arts?

Connected with the occult?

(Kim) One or two branches of the arts at most. The connection is not a vital part of this, but occurs.
(Chalky) - Not connected with the occult.

Connected with sound?

(Quendalon) - Connected with sound? - Yes

Is the sound musical?

(irach) - Sometimes can be but not essentially.

Is it to do with the quality of sound?

Connected with the human voice?

To do with poetry?

(Inkspot) - Quality of sound? Yes, interpreting "quality" fairly broadly.
(Quendalon) - Yes, connected with the human voice. *considerable applause*
(irach) - Nothing to do with poetry.

An accent?

A glo'al stop?

Shouting?

(Raak) - Yes, an accent. *wild cheering from audience, who think it's all over, but it's not, quite.*
(Irouléguy) - No' a glo''al stop.
(Inkspot) - Not shouting.

A Welsh accent?

Received Pronunciation?

A Dixie Southern drawl?

(Raak) - Daw' be daft, mun.
(Inkspot) - Not RP.
(irach) - Dixie? - Nope.

The answer is A something Accent.

A French accent?

A grave accent?

An accent from the British Isles?

(irach) - Not a French accent.
(INJ) - Imaginative, but gravely in error.
(Projoy) - A British accent? - Could be, certainly.

A foreign accent?

[irach] Relative to where? :P

A posh accent?

Is the accent from a particular city?

(irach) - It could be, to a good ear.
(Irouléguy) - Good heavens no, dear boy.
(Inkspot) - Not from a particular city.

A northern accent?

"Lots of planets have a North" (Christopher Eccelstone as Dr Who)

(Inkspot) No, but a northern accent is an example of this.

Specifically an accent of the English language?

(Quendalon) - No, not specifically English.

Could I nudge people gently away from the particular.

A nasal accent?

A local accent?

A regional accent?

A fake accent?

(Projoy) - Might be.
(Raak) - Not fake.
(Chalky) Not local, but so close, since KIM has it! Well done. Your go.

Ee, bah gum, etc, etc.

Jolly dee. OK, this one is MINERAL.

Precious?

Man made?

[Raak] No.
[Inkspot] No.

A specific individual object?

[Raak] Yes.

WARNING: even yes/no answers can potentially be misleading.

Could you lift it?

Simply to rule out an anarcho-syndicalist-driven steam locomotive.

Is it a place?

Is it on Earth?

Bigger than a telephone box?

[Inkspot] Difficult. On balance I would have to say...No.*some murmurs of interest from the audience*
[Irouléguy] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.

Is it a geographical feature?

Is it a geological feature?

Has it been in existence for at least the last two centuries?

A single specific object in the generic sense (in the same way as, say, "a stone")?

[Irouleguy] Yes.
[Quendalon] Yes.
[Chalky] No.
[Projoy] No.

A mountain range?

Is the mineral some form of water?

Made of sand?

[Inkspot] No.
[Raak] No.
[Projoy] No.

A geographic/geological feature at one specific terrestrial location?

Connected with volcanic activity?

[Irach] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.
*The audience senses a build up of momentum (or pressure?).*

Surtsey?

In the Northern Hemisphere?

Paricutin?

A fault line?

Krakatoa?

[Rosie] No.
[Quendalon] No.
[irach] No.
[Inkspot] No.
and
[Irouléguy] No.

In africa?

Is the answer the name of a volcano?

[Inkspot] No.
[Raak] No.

In Asia?

The lake of mud in eastern Java?

Which doesn't appear to have a name, according to the BBC.

a tectonic plate?

[Inkspot] No.
[Irouléguy] No. *audience gets quite interested*
[Projoy] No.

Is it solid?

Krakatoa?

In Austrailia?

[Quendalon] Yes.
[Rosie] I refer the Hon. Gntlmn to the answer I gave Irouléguy a few moves ago.
[Inkspot] Not in Austrailia (sic)

An island?

Hang me for a typo: guilty as charged

Is it the product of a volcanic eruption?

[Quendalon] Yes.
[Irouléguy] Yes.

The new island that emerged this year in Tonga between Kao and Late?

Bugger - simmed

Excellent set-piece work by Quendalon and Irouléguy, but Raak gets in at the near post and nods it in. The answer is indeed the new island that has appeared in the South Pacific recently. Well done, Raak, better luck next time to Irouleguy and Quendalon.

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2006/11/14/asia/AS_GEN_Tonga_New_Island.php by the way.

So they are still making real estate!

The next is ABSTRACT, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.

Begins with a P?

[Tuj] One day, an answer will begin with a P. That day is not yet.

Sweating aubergines?

Anarcho-syndicalist vegetable stir-fry?

One day, the answer will be Anarcho-syndicalist something-or-other.

[I] No. Er, is that a face pyjama?

[K] That day too is yet far off.

A painting?

[R] Not a painting.

Is it a character from a fictional work?

[K] Not a character from a fictional work.

Connected with the arts?

A figure of speech?

[Q] Not the arts.
[T] Not a figure of speech.

Is the vegetable wood?

[R] Face pyjama? No, just a cooking technique.

[I] Can be wood.

Man-made?

Does this have strong religious connections?

Is it unique?

[R] Man-made.
[D] No strong religious connection.
[Q] Not unique.

A geographical feature?

[C] Not a geographical feature.

A building?

Connected with the sciences?

[C] Not a building.
[K] Nothing to do with science.
(The audience is in a coma.)

Is it a generic name of a product?

eg Hoover

[I] Not a generic name.

Is it usually found in the home?

Is it a physical object?

[I] It can be found in the home.
[I] Yes, a physical object.

Anything to do with food or drink?

The Abstract nature of this object baffles me.

Anything to do with gardening?

Is this an object from a fictional work?

[Rosie] Not food or drink.
Hint: The V and M are what it is made of, the A is the abstract thing it embodies.
[I] Not gardening.
[C] (The audience opens one eye.) Not fictional.

Is this a kit of some sort, like an Airfix Model?

Is it a tool of some kind?

Connected with writing?

The hearth?

[C] Not a kit.
[R] Not a tool.
[Q} Yes! Writing has something to do with it!
[i] Not a hearth.

A document (paper and ink being the vegetable and mineral components)?

[i] Yes! A document. (The audience opens all their other eyes.)

A lease?

A contract?

Does it involve finance?

[i] Not a lease.
[CdM] Not a contract.
[R] Yes, it involves finance.

Is it a form of currency?

A will?

[Q] Not currency.
[R] YES! A last will and testament. Over to you.

(Raak) Mm, I s'pose I ought to make one. Well, it can wait because there are far more important things in life, like the next subject, which is ABSTRACT.

I still can't work our why A Will - which to me is a tangible object - should be classified as Abstract - but am happy to be corrected :-)

correction - our/out

[Chalky] I'm somewhat uncertain what should count as Abstract. What makes the thing a will is the non-physical meaning of what is written on it. On the other hand, a will generally is a single physical document, unlike, say, a book, which has an abstract existence apart from any of its individual copies.

(Raak, Chalky) I instinctively thought of a will as abstract because of its content. After all, it could be stored on a computer even if a physical document is a legal requirement. AHEM - there can be no such ambiguity about the present subject. AHEM.

Does it start with the letter P?

The Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation?

Chalky, Raak, Rosie] There's also the distinction between a specific person's will, and the idea of a last will and testament. I didn't find it misleading, which is what I think matters.

Connected with the arts?

(Quendalon) - Does not start with P.
(Irg) - A miss of some magnitude, I fear.
(Kim) - Not connected with the arts.

A single word on the card?

[Quendalon] Daft question :P

Is is a human construct?

Connected with mathematics?

(Tuj) - Two words, including the indefinite article.
(Kim) - Not a human construct.
(Quendalon) - Not connected with mathematics.

Is it something people do?

(Raak) - Not something people do.

Is it visible?

Is it something to do with the weather?

(Irg) - Not visible *laughter from audience*
(Kim) - Nothing to do with the weather.

Can it be heard?

(Inkspot) - Cannot be heard *further cruel sniggers from audience*

Can it be perceived by any of the senses?

Is it part of the electromagnetic spectrum?

Is it an absence of something?

(Kim) - Yes, it can be perceived.
(Inkspot) - Not part of the electromagnetic spectrum.
(Irouléguy) - Yes. *loud applause*

Space -- the final frontier?

A black hole?

(Quendalon) - Not space.
(Tuj) - Not a black hole.

Conspicuous by its absence?

Vacuum?

Related to living things?

irach has it because VACUUM it is! Strictly "A vacuum", but that's near enough. Well done, sir, and over to you.

This one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL Connections.

A document of some sort?

[Raak] Not a document.

Is it ritualised linguistic routine? (e.g., a metaphor, simile, cliche)

[rab] Yes. It is a type of cliched verbal expression.

Is the animal human?

Is there a number in it?

The Ashes?

[Inkspot] Yes. The animal component is most often human in this context. [Quendalon]. No. No number in it. [Rosie] Not the ashes.

Is the mineral an artefact?

Pissing in the wind?

A wild stab in the dark

People in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses?

Bull shit?

Is it a proverb?

[Irouleguy] No. Not an artifact
[rab] Not pissing, in the wind, or otherwise.
[Projoy] Not a wild stab in the dark.
[kim] Not stone houses or glasses
[Lib] No, not bull shit (or any other animal scat).
[Raak] No. Not a proverb.

Does the expression describe the human (or animal)?

[Rosie] It does not describe the entire human (or animal), but a part thereof.

Pull the other one?

Is the mineral a liquid?

To do with the face?

Is it complimentary?

[Irouleguy] No.
[Inkspot] The mineral is not liquid.
[Raak] No. Not the face.
[Rosie] Yes. It is complimentary.

Diamond Geezer?

Is the mineral metal?

[irach] A very deadpan "no, not the face" that.

[Tuj] Hurray!!!Yes, a metal! (a little less deadpan, I hope) ;)
[Lib] Not a Diamond Geezer.

An iron constitution?

A heart of gold?

Goldfinger?

[rab] Pretty much hijacked my line of thought there.
[irach] Fantastic emotional control and range, congrats.

A mind like a steel trap?

[Quendalon] No. No mind, no steel trap.
[Raak] Not an iron constitution.
[rab] You are correct! A heart ofgold it is! Over to you.

Wow...

Err, right. This one's MINERAL, with possible animal and vegetable connections.

Is it a place?

Man-made?

Metallic?

[Irroul] No.
[Rosie] Yes.
[Tuj] No.

Made from stone?

Not stone, no.

Portable?

Yes.

Made of plastic?

[Raak] *applause* - its plasticity is an integral part of its being, yes. (And I'm still wondering if plastic is vegetable, rather than mineral, but no matter now).

[rab] After being turned into oil over tens of millions of years, I'd file it as mineral, same as limestone.

The plastic rings around a six-pack of beer?

Is it a manufactured item for use in the home?

Is it for containing food or drink?

[Irroul] No.
[Inkspot] Manufactured yes, but I don't think its use is restricted to the home.
[Raak] *audience fidgets* Not containing, no.

You put food on top of it?

Plastic cutlery?

[Raak] *mild applause* but no.
[Irroul] Nope.

cling film?

Does its essential plasticity necessarily imply that it is essentially flexible?

Is it intended for human consumption?

[Inkspot, Quendalon] No
[Rosie] I suppose it could be flexible, but that's not an essential characteristic.

A drinking straw?

Is it a tool of some kind?

[Quendalon, Rosie] No.

Is it used for carrying things?

Is it an implement?

[Inkspot, Kim] No

I think we should look back to the last positive audience reaction.

Is it bigger than a breadbox?

No.

Has it always been made of plastic?

A toothpick?

Is it associated with a particular type of food?

Plastic chopstick?

[Inkspot] Tricky one. The type I'm thinking of is very much definitely made of plastic, but there are versions that perform a similar function that aren't.
[Rosie, irach] No.
[Irouléguy] YES!

Is it used during the preparation of the food?

Is it the outer coating on Edam cheese?

[Inkspot] To say "yes" would probably throw you completely off-scent; but I think that it's far to say that it might play a small part in the preparation of a particular type of food.
[Kim] No.

Is it associated with a particular country?

Is the food linked to a particular event or ceremony?

[Inkspot] No.
[Irouléguy] *applause* YES!

The plastic figures on the top of a wedding cake?

On my card it says A plastic bride and groom but I think CdM's close enough to get it.

Wow. I actually didn't expect that to be right, because of the "preparation" question. But I do see what you mean.

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections

Animal human?

Animal connection = Human? Yes.

A trait or characteristic?

Trait? No.

Fictional?

Fictional? No.

A character of myth or legend?

Mythical or legendary? No.

Connected to science/technology?

Connected to science/technology? Yes.

Something named after someone?

Something named after someone? Yes *applause*

A unit of measurement?

Is it Bluetooth?

[UK] I suggest you get yourself to a dentist ASAP.
Is it to do with the internet?

Unit of measurement? No.
Bluetooth? No.
Internet-related? No.

A theory?

(As in an entire theoretical framework, rather than a result or phenomenon)

A theory? No.

Is it a constant?

two short Plancks?

A constant? No.

A phenomenon?

Schrödinger's cat?

Is it a sound?

The sound of one hand clapping?

Phenomenon? Hmmmm... my initial response was no, but I think it is fair to say yes, in a way.
S's cat? No ... and yes ... and no ... and yes .. and *checks*. NO.
A sound? No.
A zen sound? Not even.

Someone's Effect?

Astronomical?

Nash equilibrium?

Is it visible?

Someone's Effect? The word "effect" does not appear on the card, and I think the best answer is No.
Astronomical? No.
Nash Equilibrium? The best response is No.
Visible? *audience goes "oooooh"*. I think I have to say Yes and No. Either 'Yes" or 'No' could be justified as an answer, and by the same token either would be misleading.

A Schelling point?

Cerenkov radiation?

Schelling point? No. (the audience communicates by a subtle combination of laughter, applause and silence that, had this been the correct answer, they would have given some recognition to 'Nash equilibrium')
Cerenkov radiation? No.

A hologram?

Connected with economics?

Concerned with atomic particle physics?

A hologram? No.
Connected with economics? Isn't everything? But, otherwise, No.
Connected with particle physics? Isn't everything? But, otherwise, No.

Is it temprature dependant?

Anything to do with meteorology?

Was the eponymous person alive before the 20th century?

Now we are getting somewhere

Temperature dependent? Yes.
To do with meteorology? Yes. *applause*
Before 20th century? Yes.

To do with Torricelli, vacuum and barometry?

The Bergeron process?

The Doppler effect?

I think that is close enough for me to award a mercury-filled baton to irach, even though it was not posed as a guess. The answer on the card was "A Torricelli (or Torricellian) Vacuum".

The subject was prompted by the fact that I almost guessed "vacuum" for Rosie's recent AVMA about a day before it was correctly guessed (no, really, I did), but then rejected it on the grounds that Rosie had claimed no connection to the weather. :-) (That's not intended as a criticism, btw; on reflection I thought that Rosie's answer was probably right.)

Let me then step in to fill the void... The next one is simply ANIMAL

Human?

[Raak] Not human.

A dodo?

[CdM] No, not a dodo.

alive?

Vertebrate?

[Lib] By alive, if you mean non-extinct, yes.
[Kim} Yes. A vertebrate.

A species?

[Irouleguy] Yes, a species.

Mammal?

(CdM) Can't see why a vacuum is temperature dependent, which is why I went for the the rather obscure Bergeron process, which certainly is. Not to worry. :-)

[Rosie] Yes, a mammal.

Found (in the wild) on more than two continents?

[Rosie] Well, I was thinking about the fact that the density of the mercury (or whatever) is affected by temperature, and hence so is the size of a Toricelli vacuum. (I think. This is your area of expertise, not mine). I certainly agree that I should have at least indicated that the connection to temperature was minor.

Is it amphibian?

Tree-dwelling?

Water-dwelling?

Carnivorous?

Giraffe?

A long-necked meat-eating animal that lives in trees and water and swims?

Meerkats?

[Inkspot] Yes, it is semi-aquatic.
[rab] No, not arboreal.
[Kim] Not exclussively water-dwelling, see response to Inkspot.
[Raak] Not carnoivorous. Rather the contrary.
[Lib] Not a giraffe. A long way off.
[CdM] Not a long necked or meat eating animal that lives in trees. It does enter water and swim, though.
[Irouleguy] Not meerkats.

A hippopotamus?

A beaver?

[Raak] Not a hippopotamus.
[Kim] Not an eager (or disinterested) beaver.

Smaller than a telephone box?

[Raak] Yes, smaller than a telephone box.

Smaller than a bread bin?

[Lib] No. Bigger than a bread bin.

A primate?

[Rosie] Not a primate (Are there any semi-aquatic primates?)

[Rosie] Not a primate (Are there any semi-aquatic primates?)

Furry?

A mink?

A vole?

BTW, CdM' s "Found (in the wild) on more than two continents?" hasn't been answered.

A reptile?

[Raak] As a mammal it does have fur, but not particularly known for its furriness.
[rab] Not a mink
[Irouleguy] Not a vole.
[CdM] Found in th wild, but on only one continent.
[Kim] Not a reptile. It's already been established that it is a mammal.

Duck-billed platypus?

[CdM] Not a platypus.

Found in Africa?

Found in America?

[Inkspot] Not Africa.
[Kim] Not natively found wild in the USA, but yes, is found in one of the two Americas.

The capybara?

[Irouleguy] Yes, Capybara, it is! Over to you...

A win largely down to Wikipedia, in all honesty. Our next is MINERAL and VEGETABLE and contains ANIMAL.

Coal?

A mass produced manufactured item?

The Tardis?

Raak - Coal No. Surely coal is either mineral or vegetable - can it be both?
Inkspot - A mass produced manufactured item? Yes and no - not mass-produced
Kim - The Tardis? a ripple of applause No

A Dalek?

A Cyberman?

rab - A Dalek? No
Raak - A Cyberman? No
the applause unripples
I should add that there's also an abstract dimension to this.

Does it exist only in science fiction?

rab] Does it exist only in science fiction? No - there isn't a science fiction connection (or if there is, it's incredibly faint).

Can one live in it?

A telephone box?

Was the first one made before 1900?

Is there only one of it?

Is it a coat?

...or shall I get mine?

rab - Can one live in it? One could...but I don't think anyone does
Raak - A telephone box? No
Inkspot - Was the first one made before 1900? Yes
Rosie - Is there only one of it? No
Tolken - Is it a coat? No, and no, it was a perfectly clean question

A sauna?

Raak - A sauna? No

Is it a piece of street furniture?

rab - Is it a piece of street furniture? No

Is the vegetable ccomponent wood?

irach - Is the vegetable component wood? Yes

Is it larger than a transit van?

Is it an outdoor object?

(Chalky) A TRANSIT van?

Chalky - Is it larger than a transit van? Yes
Rosie - Is it an outdoor object? Yes
(What's wrong with Transit vans?)

Are they in fixed positions?

Inkspot - Are they in fixed positions? *another ripple of applause* No

A horse box?

Is the animal human?

Does it have wheels?

Raak - A horse box? No
Inkspot - Is the animal human? Yes
rab - Does it have wheels? *giggling from large sections of the audience* Yes, though in the past they used to have more.

Would you find it at a funfair?

Is is a mode of public transport?

Is it a vehicle?

A horse-drawn wagon?

Does it use electric power?

Raak - Would you find it at a funfair? No
rab - Is is a mode of public transport? *loud applause* YES
Projoy - Is it a vehicle? Yes
Rosie - A horse-drawn wagon? *giggles No
Inkspot - Does it use electric power? It does now, but it hasn't always done.

A tram?

A train?

rab - A tram? No
Raak - A train? No

Apologies - I'm out most of tomorrow and won't be at a keyboard until the evening. I hope no-one will harbour a grudge.

A lift?

An escalator?

An omnibus?

a charabang?

a charabanc?

It would appear that everyone not in my family calls it a Charabanc, so I'll try again!

Raak - A lift? No
Rosie - An escalator? No
rab - An omnibus? No
Lib - a charabang or charabanc? Or even a charabank - a coach you get on Bank Holidays. No

Does it use the roads?

Back to basics. :-(

A ferry?

(I'm pretty certain this is a water vehicle of some kind.)

A barge?

Rosie - Does it use the roads? No
CdM - A ferry? *waves of applause* YES! 'Ferry' is one of the four words on the card.
rab - A barge? No

A cross-channel ferry?

Ferry Across the Mersey?

CdM - A cross-channel ferry? La Trans-Manche? Non
rab - Ferry Across the Mersey? No

Hong Kong Star Ferry?

Isle of Man Ferry?

Lib - Hong Kong Star Ferry? No
CdM - Isle of Man Ferry? No, but the geographically closest so far.

Ferry to/from a Scottish Isle?

Projoy - Ferry to/from a Scottish Isle? No, and no closer.

Does it sail from Liverpool?

Isle of Wight Ferry?

Holyhead- Dublin sea ferry?

Pembroke to Rosslare ferry

rab - Does it sail from Liverpool? No
Lib - Holyhead- Dublin sea ferry? No
Inkspot - Pembroke to Rosslare ferry No

When I said CdM was 'closest', that was strictly comparative. 'Least distant' would have been more helpful. Lib is now the least distant.

Is at least one end of the journey in the UK?

Is at least one end on the North American continent?

Does it sail between two different countries?

Is it operated by a pulley system?

The Staten Island Ferry?

CdM goes overnight from 'least distant' to bullseye - the Staten Island Ferry it is! One Staten baton handed over.

ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, and MINERAL

Is the animal human?

Human? No.

Is the vegetable a liquid?

Is it edible?

Is there a seasonal connection?

Vegetable = liquid? Least misleading answer is yes, I think.
Edible? Yes. *ripple of applause*
Seasonal connection? None that I am aware of.

Some sort of soup?

Soup? No.

Is it associated with a particular country?

A specific meal?

Some form of alcohol?

Associated with a particular country? Yes *applause*
A meal? No. *a sprinkling of laughter*
Some form of alcohol? Yes, the vegetable component is some form of alcohol. *applause* (I was probably overthinking earlier when I said liquid was "least misleading"; I should have just said yes. But it doesn't seem to have slowed you up.)

Is the mineral salt?

Salt? No.

Is it a drink?

Is the mineral water?

Two pints of lager and a packet of pork scratchings?

A drink? The words on the card do not define a drink as such. The alcohol is intented to be drunk, however.
Mineral = water? While there may be some water mixed in the alcohol, the primary mineral component is not water.
Two pints of lager and a packet of pork scratchings? How can I put this? No.

Is the animal a fish?

Is the animal connection a by product like cheese?

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou?

Animal = fish? No.
Animal = By-product? No.
Wonderloaf, Mateus Rosé and him? No, but a nice guess.

Is the alcoholic part served separately to the edible component?

Alcohol and edible component served separately? No. *some applause*

Is the mineral part the container in which it is served?

Is it some kind of stew?

Is the animal a bird?

Mineral part = container? Yes. *applause*
Some kind of stew? No.
Animal = bird? No.
Clarification: my answer to "drink?" might have been unintentionally misleading. The answer is not exactly a drink, but it is not incorrect to think in terms of things that are. If you see what I mean. It always amazes me how hard it can sometimes be to answer even the simplest questions in this game.

Is it a canned item?

Is the alcoholic part a spirit?

Canned item? No.
Spirit? Yes.

Irish coffee?

Is it always the same spirit? (And if so, is it vodka?)

*wonders what kind of animal Raak takes in his coffee*

Is the animal component milk or milk-based?

Is the vegetable a fruit?

Always the same spirit? Yes.
Vodka? No.
Animal = milk? No.
Vegetable = fruit? No.

Is the spirit brandy?

Brandy? No.

Mezcal (the Mexican spirit with a worm in the bottle)?

And a massive leap to victory by Raak. The words on the card were "A bottle of Mezcal containing a worm", but I had previously decided that I would award victory as long as the words "mezcal", "bottle", and "worm" all appeared.
*hands a small, wriggling, inebriated baton to Raak*

Apparently the worm in the bottle was invented in 1950 by one Jacobo Lozano Paez as a marketing ploy for stupid gringo tourists.

The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.

Glass houses pierced by stones?

[Projoy] No, but you have the right general idea.

Is it a saying?

[rab] A saying? No.

(The general idea is a bit more general than that.)

Is the mineral rock?

[Rosie] Not rock.

Is the mineral in its natural state?

[Rosie] The mineral is not in its natural state.

Is it always made of the same material?

[rab] Yes, always the same material.

Begins with P?

...to try to give Rosie a hand, however small.

Plastic?

Is the object larger (in any dimension) than a dustbin?

more than one mineral?

[Tuj] Does not begin with a P.
[rab] Not plastic.
[Rosie] Not larger than a dustbin.
[Lib] Not more than one mineral.

Glass?

[rab] Yes! Glass.

Glass Menagerie?

[irach] Not a menagerie.

A cut-glass accent?

Like wot I 'ave.

[Rosie] Not ay cut-glahss eksent.

Is it half-full?

Is the glass a mirror?

[rab] Not half-full (nor half-empty, nor over-engineered for the purpose).
[irach] Not a mirror.

Is the glass component a container?

[irach] Yes, a container.

Is the container a bottle (with or without a genie)?

Is the contents important?

[irach] (applause!) It's a bottle. No genie.
[rab] The contents are not important.

I'll be in London all day tomorrow, doing the rounds of as many museums and art galleries as I can fit in, so you have a day to think about this abstract glass bottle.

A Klein bottle?

[Projoy] Surprisingly, not a Klein bottle.

Is it associated with a myth, legend or piece of history?

Losing one's bottle?

Hitting the bottle?

[rab] Not mythical, legendary, or historical.
[Irouléguy] Not losing it.
[irach] Not hitting it.

Is anything being done to it?

[rab] Nothing is being done to it.

Is the actual word "bottle" on the card?

[irach] (excited murmuring from the audience) Strictly speaking, no.

Is it bottled-up anger?

[rab] Not bottled-up anger.

A hint

There are two words on the card, including the indefinite article.

A jeroboam?

[Rosie] Not a jeroboam.

A decanter?

A gottle? (of the kind that generally contains geer)

[irach] Not a decanter.
[Projoy] Not a gottle.

Another hint

The Mineral meaning is less well-known than the Abstract meaning.

A fiasco?

[Rosie] Yes, a fiasco, and well done for avoiding one.

(Raak) Too kind; you haven't seen my Christmas arrangements.

Right, here we go with a fairly simple one that's ABSTRACT with MINERAL connections.

Is the mineral a metal?

Does it have religious connections?

Is it fictional?

irach - Not a metal
Inkspot - No religious connection
Irouléguy - Not fictional

Does it describe an emotional state?

irach - Nothing to do with the emotions.

related to music?

Ooh, sorry I forgot to get dressed up in my disguise above! How rude of me! *blushes*

(Lib) - Nothing to do with music.

Is the mineral liquid?

>Is the mineral ice?

Irouléguy - Yes, the mineral is liquid.
irach - Not ice. See above. :-)

Anything to do with the weather?

Is the liquid mineral potable (non life-threatening if imbibed)?

Is it flammable?

Coloured?

Does it f l o w?

Raak - Weather? Certainly is *applause*
irach - Potable? Very much so
Inkspot - Flammable? No. Laughter from audience
Lib - Coloured? Yes *whooping and shrieking from the rather plebby lot we've got in tonight*
Rab - Does it flow? - Course it flows, 's a bleed'n' liquid innit? Man of your calibre; I dunno.

Purple Rain?

irach - Not purple rain.

(tutti) Don't forget it's fundamentally abstract.

Some other colour of rain?

Somewhere Over the Rainbow?

Raak - Not rain of any colour
irach - Erm, I'm afraid not. *huge but rapidly-stifled audience eruption *

Non-alcoholic liquid, one assumes?

Projoy - T-t-t-totally correct, but you're moving in the wrong direction.

A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

Just a rainbow?

[Rosie] Sorry - was drunk last night.

Raak - Not the pot of gold, but . . . .

The rainbow itself. So the winner is the extraordinarily sober rab! Well done.

Eek!

Right, well I probably won't have 'net access after 9am tomorrow, so let's go for a really easy ANIMAL (with possible ABSTRACT tendancies).

a Gnu?

Not a Gnu.

A specific individual?

[Raak] Yes!

Fictional?

[irach] As the Germans say, jein.

Human?

Yes.

Is he/she dead, or as the Germans ask: Ist er/sie tot?

Errr..., jein. You have only a few hours left. If no one gets it, someone else can take over with what they think it is...

Male?

Yes!

Santa?

I said it was easy.

Ok, another easy one, to make sure it gets solved before Christmas.

ABSTRACT.

The First Noel?

[irach] Not the First Noel.

Xmas-related?

[Projoy] Coincidentally Xmas-related.

Related to religion?

A greeting?

[Projoy] Some relate it to their religion.
[Inkspot] Not a greeting.

Winter solstice?

Bingo!

[irach] The very words on the card.

Here we go again- This one is ANIMAL

Dickens?

[Rosie] Good try, but no. (Bah! Humbug!) ...the audience at least stirs slightly

Reindeer?

Human?

[lib] Nort reindeer.
[Tuj] Yes, human.

Christmas-related?

[Tuj] No Christmas connection.

A European?

A male?

In the news recently?

[Inkspot] European, yes.
[Projoy] Yes, male.
[Rosie] No, not that I know of.

Alive?

[Inkspot] Dead.

Was he born before 1900?

[Inkspot] Yes, born prior to 1900.

Involved in any of the creative arts?

[Rosie} Yes.

Born prior to 1700?

[Projoy] Yes, born prior to 1700.

In the Music Field?

[StormWraith] Not Music.

Is he in a visual art?

[StormWraith] Not a visual art per se.

Was he a Greek?

[Inkspot] Not Greek.

British?

[Lib] Jolly good, I say! Yes, British. (the audience stirs and begins humming "Rule Brittania")

A writer

I mean "A writer?"

Born prior to 1500?

[Rosie] Yes, a writer.
[Projoy] Born after 1500.

A playwright?

[Rosie] Yes, he wrote plays.

Shakespeare?

`

[Projoy] YES, the Bard of Avon it is. Over to you.

OK, here's a MINERAL/ABSTRACT.

Anything to do with the present season?

Stone?

[Raak] To do with the present season? NO
[Inkspot] Stone? YES

Stonehenge?

Is this two meanings for the same word, one mineral, one abstract?

[irach] Stonehenge? NO
[Rosie] Two meanings? YES, but then again NO. Not sure which is the most helpful answer, really.

Is it the rock of ages?

[Kim] Aged Rock? NOPE

Connected with a geographical feature?

[Rosie] Not connected with a geographical feature.

Does it have religious significance?

[Inkspot] religious significance? NO (a couple of mutters from the audience, but basically they agree)

The Stone of Scone?

[Raak] Symbol of temporal power in Scotland? NO.

Is it unique?

[Inkspot] Unique? NO is the best answer.

An artistic depitction?

[Rosie] Artistiction? NO

Does it feature in a legend?

[rab] Features in a legend? Strictly, NO, although a small change to your question would yield a YES.

Is there a specific, finite number of them?

Does it appear in mythology?

[Raak] A specific, finite number of them? NO
[Inkspot] Appears in mythology? I'm reasonably sure that's a NO, altho my research wasn't exhaustive.

It depends a bit on your definition of "mythology" and "legend", come to think of it. Probably best to regard NO as the most helpful answer in those cases, but you're approaching the right sort of area.

Some kind of fictional story?

[rab] (pretending to mishear the question) Fictional? YES!

Is the type of mineral any more specific than "stone"?

[rab] More specific than stone? NO

Does it have origins in a particular culture?

A heart of stone?

[Inkspot] Originates in a particular culture? NOT SURE. Sources are a bit unclear on this point.
[Raak] Heart of stone? NO.

It's not . . . . dilithium crystals, is it?

[Rosie] NO, IT'S NOT

[Rosie] Actually there is a very, very, very obscure connection to a particular variety of dilithium.

Then again, I am slightly drunk.

Is it fictional?

Is its signifance connected to a specific individual (possibly fictional)?

Is there a connection to an event?

sober now...

[Raak] Fictional? YES (see answer to rab's "misheard" question above)
[rab] SORT OF. Its significance isn't dependent on a specific individual, but there are specific individuals associated with it.
[Inkspot] Connected to a particular event? NO, NOT REALLY (except in a pretty trivial sense).

Could you name those specific individuals? And would you be able to get them all into the 'Stance' box?

(I don't actually want you to do this, merely know if it's possible...)

[rab] Could I name those individuals? YES, although it would be subjective as there's certainly no canonical list of them. Would they all fit into the "stance" box? I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT SO for most people's lists. An academic in the right field might be able to overflow the stance box, but most reasonably erudite people would probably name four or so names.

Are the people fictional as well?

[Inkspot] Are the people fictional? NO, by and large.

Are these precious stones?

Is the word "stone" on the card?

Do the stones go back to the time of the Greeks and Romans?

Arthurian connection?

The alchemists' stone?

back online now

[Raak] Precious stones? NO *sustained applause from the audience*
[CdM] The word "stone" IS on the card *mounting excitement from audience*
[Inkspot] Back to Greek and Roman times? YES
[rab] Arthurian connection? NOT THAT I'M AWARE OF
[CdM] Alchemists' stone? YES. The words on the card were "Philosopher's Stone", and I have to say I'm very upset that Tuj never popped up with his normal question! I got in a bit of a tizzy over the legend/myth questions. To my knowledge, the philosopher's stone doesn't appear in a particular myth or legend or in what is conventionally called mythology (i.e. of the Greek and Roman variety), but one could call it a mythical or legendary object, so a hard one to answer helpfully. * transmutes baton into finest gold and hands to CdM*

All right, here we go again

ABSTRACT

Global Warming?

Not getting warmer at all

Global Warming? No.

Visible?

Human construct?

Fictional?

Visible? Yes.
Human Construct? Yes.
Fictional? No, although there are a few connections to works of fiction.

Something used as a symbol?

A slightly tricky one

Symbol? I think the most helpful answer is no.

Smoke?

Mirrors?

An action?

An emotion?

Does it involve all mankind, or a select few?

Coming up empty

Smoke? No. (Abstract?)
Mirrors? No. (Abstract?)
An action? No.
An emotion? No.
Does it involve all mankind? I'm not sure that it makes much sense to talk of this "involving people", but if you insist on an answer, I would say that it does not involve all mankind.

A metaphor?

Really not getting very far

Metaphor? No.

Is it ever used as a means of communication?

OK, now we're getting somewhere

Used as means of communication? While that is not its primary use, it can be used as a means of communication in certain circumstances.

An art form?

Speaking too soon...

An art form? No.

Is the "primary use" an invention?

Too, too soon

Invention? It is a human construct that was invented, but you wouldn't normally call it an invention.

Is any technology necessarily involved?

Is it a process?

[CdM] Not sure I care for your patronising tone.

Sorry - that was a bit harsh as usual. I read your last comment as "Of course a human construct is a human invention you idiot" but re-reading it I suspect my first reading was incorrect. Unfortunately, I can't work out what your last comment does mean...

I apologise unreservedly

Technology involved? Not really, except for a very broad definition of technology.
Process? No.

[rab] Wow, sorry -- I assure you that wasn't meant to be in the slightest bit patronising. My pedantic answer simply reflected the confusion I often feel when answering seemingly simple questions in this game. "Invention" conjures up to my mind steam engines, spinning jennies, COBOL, and the like -- and it would be odd to describe the subject on the card as an invention in that sense. On the other hand somebody did presumably invent this thing, so it would be misleading to say no as well.

S'ok - I did over-react. Likewise I find a problem in this game is in asking questions that don't completely give away the thing(s) you think they might be.

Does it exist?

'Course it does, idiot

Does it exist? Yes.

Not a ghost, then.

Is it electromagnetic radiation?

Did it exist 100 years ago?

Electromagnetic radiation? No. (This thing is abstract, but it does typically have a physical manifestation, so you can add "with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE AND/OR MINERAL connections" to the description, if you like.)
Did it exist 100 years ago? Yes.

Does it involve words?

Does it involve words? Yes. *prolonged applause from audience*

Rap?

(You said it wasn't an art form)

Are these words in spoken form?

Poetry?

Music and words?

Do the words originally come from one particular language?

Drama?

A musical?

Rap? Nope.
Are the words in spoken form? No.
Poetry? No, although there can be a connection.
Nineteen-forties movie? No.
One language? No.
Plays? No.
Evita? No.

In written form, then?

Is it the game of AVMA on mc5?

Ah, wait a minute - that's mostly one language... so change that to MC on the web

Actually, scrap that again - no technology, existed 100 years ago. Hmmm, stumped.

Written form? Yes. (Obviously, the words in question could be read, but the words on the card are associated with a written form.)
AVMA on the web (or not)? No.

Is it an epitaph?

RIP? The answer is not an epitaph, although there very occasionally is a connection.
Are you in need of a clue yet? ...
Because I have actually already given you some clues already.

Anything to do with religion?

God help us.

Birthday greetings?

Do the words on the card describe a particular formation of words?

Is this associated with a specific occasion or event?

"The words on the card"?

[Projoy] I was going to ask that...

Religion? There are occasional connections.
Birthday greetings? No.
Particular formation of words? Not exactly sure what you mean, but I think the best answer is yes. *some confused applause*
Associated with specific occasion? No.
Words on the card? No.

To do with nomenclature?

An advertising slogan

[CdM] By "particular formation of words" I meant something like an epitaph, birthday greeting or, indeed, an advertising slogan.

...or perhaps a particular form of verse or...

To do with nomenclature? In some cases, but by no means necessarily.
Advertising slogan? No.
[rab] Then I continue to think that the best answer is yes, although the answer is certainly not a unique formation of words such as "Just do it"

A condolence?

Typically appearing in printed form rather than manuscript?

Related to a particular time in people's lives?

Condolence? No.
Do you write it down? It could be either, but, yes, most instances would be printed.
Marriage, birth, death, divorce, christening...? No.

Is the meaning of the words relevant to what's written on the card?

Meaning relevant? No.

An invitation?

equal rights (as expressed in legislation)

Is it associated with the legal profession?

Is it work-related?

Come as you are? No.
Legislated equality? No.
Unethical? No.
Ergological? No.

Anything medical?

Some sort of certification?

Associated with a particular writing system?

A list of words?

A decloration?

Is the form of the words relevant to what's written on the card?

Is the setting of this one self-referential?

Anything Medical? No.
Certification? No
Riting or Reading or Rithmatic system? No.
"Of", "But", "Transubstantiate", "Legume", "Velocity"? Only vaguely.
Statement of intent to declare something to say? No.
To what's written on the card is the form relevant? Yes.
Is it self-referential? No, but...
Could be...

A clue?

A sentence?

Is there likely to be a particular length to which this form of words runs or could it range significantly from, say a few words to hundreds?

Is this form of words written by a particular group of people?

Do I have to spell it out for you?

A clue? No.
Verb-containing syntactically independent grammatical unit? No.
Many or few words? No particular length, though not arbitrarily short and usually not very long.
Authored by a particular group of people? No.

Is it spelling?

Anything to do with synonyms (or antonyms)?

Anything to do with translation

(rudely taking two goes)

Crying in my beer

Spelling? No.
Opposites (or sames)? No.
Babelfish? No.

Does this usually appear in a particular format of writing (eg newspaper, novel, magazine)?

Gah! An ACROSTIC?

I feel guilty even offering that answer, as it's now so obvious.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

I am the stupidest person in the whole world and my only consolation is that most of the rest of you were equally stupid.

I'm tempted to say that CdM won that round and should continue with the next clue.

Oh bollocks.

Give that man an beer. We were defeated good and proper.

Beer would be great! I'm delighted and flattered that I've been invited to come back and set one more clue, and yet now I'd rather retire unrequited.

Very well, then. On CdM's behalf*, here's an ANIMAL/MINERAL/ABSTRACT thingumabob.
* this means you can blame him if it's too hard

Is it some kind of idiom?

Course it's not, you idiom.

[rab] an idiomat? NO

There's a case for describing this as an (ANIMAL) (MINERAL) (ABSTRACT (ANIMAL) ), but maybe that's taking pedantry to new extremes.

Is the animal part human?

(By the way, I think that one of the reasons I inadvertantly insulted rab was that, at the beginning, my comment lines were an acrostic of "an acrostic". Thus my "Too, too soon" comment, which may have been what conveyed the unintended patronising tone. Also, I apologize for some of my slow responses, but they were partly because I was waiting for enough questions to put acrostics in my answers, and partly because good acrostics were hard to compose.)

(Either animal part...)

Is it something I'd encounter in everyday life?

Um, Projoy?

I think you were handed a baton, actually.

[CdM] Is either animal part human? YES
[rab] Something you'd encounter in everyday life? NO
[Néa] Me? NO :)

Is there more than one of these?

[Projoy] It's poor form to point to one's own cleverness, but I think Néa was referring to the fact that my AVMA sign-off above was actually an acrostical limerick.

[CdM] More than one? The best answer is NO, on several counts.
[CdM] re: limerick - Too subtle, too subtle!

Bloody hell, CdM! Here, have this round of applause that's been looking for a home.

Noah's Ark?

Oops

Pressed 'stand' too soon. I meant to add my congrats to CdM - excellent!

[Ig] Big Boat Wot Has Animals In? NO

Is it fictional?

A trophy?

Is it the name of something?

Actually, you could probably argue anything is the name of something, so let's change that to:

Is it a title of a book/film/poem/...?

[Inkspot] Fictional? YES, in essence
[Raak] Trophy? NO
[rab] The name of something? YES (and not in the same way that just anything is
[rab] Title of cultural product? NO (that I'm aware of)

Someone's nickname?

A legendary being?

[Raak] A nickname? NO * an audient claps a couple of times, but tails off when no-one else joins in *
[rab] Legendary? NO *smiles in the audience*

Is it a person?

To do with religion?

Is it a place?

[rab] A person? Hm. YES and NO
[Raak] Religious connection? NO
[Ink] A place? NO

Is the other animal part a specific animal?

Is the human part that is and is not a person a character of myth?

Sandman/Tooth Fairy type person?

Is it a something-man?

[Ig] Other part (the part that isn't human) a specific animal? YES
[Kim] You've slightly misread my response. I didn't say that there was a human part that was and wasn't a person. I said the whole thing was and wasn't a person. That said, the human part, as it happens might be described as being and not being a person. But the human part is not a character of myth. Glad to have cleared that up. :)
[Ink] Sandman/Tooth Fairy or generic substitute? NO
[rab] A something-man? In quite a broad sense, YES (but possibly not the one you're thinking of).

Did it originate in a particular culture more than 2000 years ago?

[Inkspot] Originated...particular culture... 2000 years ago? NO

Is the word "Man" on the card?

Is the mineral part man made?

[Kim] Word "man" on card? NO
[Inkspot] Mineral man made? YES

It's rather late to fess up to this, but I think there is probably a VEGETABLE element to this too (having said which, its absence hasn't really proven critical in the questioning as yet, nor probably will it).

Anything to do with warfare?

[Ig] Warfare? NO *some laughter*

Is it a part of a person?

[Raak] Parts of persons? YES. One 'animal' is part of a person; the other 'animal' is partially a person.

Is the "partially person" a ghost?

[rab] Ghosties and ghoulies? NO

Is the supernatural involved?

[Raak] Supernatural? NO

Here's our Graham with a quick reminder

Handy summary: It's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MINERAL, (ABSTRACT (ANIMAL)). On the card is a name - the name of something essentially fictional that is and isn't a person. One of the animal parts is part of a human, the other animal part is partially a person, and partially another specific animal. The mineral part is man-made. It isn't supernatural or mythical.

Is the specific animal a mammal?

[rab] Mammal? YES

Did this first appear in a specific work of fiction?

[Ig] Appeared first in a specific work... YES is the best answer, altho one might quibble with it slightly.

Is the work of fiction European?

[Ig] Fiction European? YES

English language?

Is it from a comic?

[rab] Eng. Lang.? OUI
[Ink] Comic? NO

Is the work of fiction a book?

[rab] Book? NO

A Shakespeare play?

A film?

[Ig] Shakespeare play? NO (not a play at all, in fact)
[Ink] Film? NO

Is it any form of writing?

[rab] Originating work of fiction a written form? NO

Is the mineral part of the viewing medium rater than an object like a spoon?

rater/rather

Is this the name of a painting?

[Ink] Mineral part of the viewing medium? NO
[Raak] Painting? NO

Does the originating work of fiction exist (or has it existed) in any concrete, tangible form?

[rab] Original work concrete? Almost not sure how to answer. Would, say, a CD or a score of a piece of music count as concrete and tangible for the purposes of the question (originating form is not a piece of music, btw)? If you'd say yes, then YES, if you'd say no, you meant something like a painting or a sculpture where the idea and its expression in concrete form are pretty much analogous, then NO. :) (© Overthinking Services Ltd)

So, the work itself is not a tangible representation, but it can be tangibly represented?

[Raak] I think I'm in danger of leading you into a siding here. So that we can get back on the main track, let me reveal that the medium in question is TELEVISION (which can of course be put into the tangible form of videotape or DVD).

Doctor Who related?

(Well, presumably before it was on television it was in a script, which is a concrete tangible form by any defition surely?)

[rab] Doctor Who related? NO
(Fair enough, I was just interpreting your question as trying to distinguish a particular class of artforms of, say, the sculpture variety. If you count stuff like scripts, then which art forms don't have tangible form? Even computer games are stored tangibly on a HDD.)

* goes off to write treatise on television as a virtual form *

Is the programme currently on television?

Projoy] Re non-tangible art forms - how about improvised stand-up comedy?

[Ig] Is the original programme in which The Answer first appeared still on? NO
(is a real-life performer insufficiently tangible for you, then? :))

[Projoy] I was thinking of apocryphal/folk stories, that kind of thing.

British TV programme?

Was it a series?

[rab] British? YES
[Inkspot] A series? YES

The genre popularly known as "Drama"?

And you do know what I mean by that, if you don't try and think too hard :)

[rab] I hope you'll forgive me for giving the answer as I DON'T KNOW. History records the name of said show, but not its genre. Quite startled at how recalcitrant this subject is proving.

Summary again

[rab] On further thought, the best answer is almost certainly NO to the genre question.

Handy summary: It's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MINERAL, (ABSTRACT (ANIMAL)). On the card is a name - the name of something essentially fictional that is and isn't a person. One of the animal parts is part of a human, the other animal part is partially a person, and partially another specific mammal. The mineral part is man-made. Appeared first in a British TV Show (in English) that is no longer on.

First episode shown prior to 1980?

OK let's try a different tack.

[rab] First episode before 1980? YES

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Late entry from me.... Will be a bit of a bad steal if I'm right.

[Lib] MPFC? NO.

Is the human part an internal organ?

Re improv - touché

Is the thing also the name of the show?

[Ig] Internal organ? NO
[rab] name of show=words on card (or selection of permutation of)? NO

First shown on the BBC?

[Ink] BBC? NO

First episode before 1970?

[Ink] Before 1970? YES (hint - we are talking about the show that hosted the first appearance of this character, not necessarily the show most associated with it.)

[all] Are some clues needed at this stage? This clue seems to be losing steam a bit after more than a week in play!

(or is everyone suffering from the rapid approach of the worst day of the year?

Was this children's TV?

Clues - yes, please.

[Ig] Children's TV? YES! *considerable applause*

Blue's First Clue: it is the abstract (i.e. fictional) part that contains that which is partially human and partially some other mammal - in other words, we're talking about an anthropomorphic character, not of some invented species, either.

A ventriloquist act?

Sooty?

[Ink] Wind-speaking? NO
[Raak] Carbonaceous Ursine? NO

Catweazle?

Is it a anthropomorphic character male?

Is the human part a pair of hands?

Quick check; The answer is not the title a 1960s(?) ITV childrens programme but a character from it? ...and that's all till tomorrow.

[Ig] Felis Mustela? NO
[Ink] Male? YES
[Ink] Hands? *applause and cheering* YES (not sure if it's a pair or just one).

Was this a Gerry Anderson series?

[Raak] Supermarionation? NO, MILADY

[Inks re: your quick check] That's completely correct.

String puppets of any sort?

[Raak] String puppets? NO

Cartoon/animation?

A shadow puppet?

Basil Brush?

I think Chalky has got it...

[rab] Animated? Like this game lately, NOT VERY! :)
[Raak] Shadow puppet? NO
[Chalky, you naughy victorous lurker] Basil Brush? YES!! BOOM BOOM. Basil first appeared in Peter Firmin's kids' show The Three Scampies in, I think it was 1968 but too lazy to go back and check on Wikipedia. For all I know the show was a drama rather than Basil's later chatshow-style shows, but I couldn't find that out. The animal element which is part of a human is the operator's hand in the puppet, the mineral the nylon from which I fondly fancy the puppet is fashioned, with a side-bet on some vegetable elements in his clothes too. The abstract element (incorporating more animal: i.e. anthropomorphic fox-man) is the fictional character of Basil. * gets a bag of aniseed balls, and gives that to Chalky, as there's no longer a fox to hunt * Tally Ho!

Oh, and well done to rab, Irouléguy and Inkspot for doing most of the heavy lifting, there!

Grr, Basil Brush passed through my mind but I rejected it for not being a sequence of four things, as suggested by the way you laid out your clue. Oh well, well done Chalky.

Congrats and welcome back, Chalky - I think it needed a fresh pair of eyes to get that.

Lurking and assorted pastimes

That'll teach me. I'll blame the pub quiz victory [the first time in 5 weeks] and the brandy.
'Tis grand to be back .. thanks to PJ for a very thorough set of responses and to rab, Raak, Iroulé, Inks et al for pointing the way :-)

How's about a V E G E T A B L E to ease me back into MC Land ..

Is it a fruit?

Well done Chalky, to think I dismissed BB and The Three Scampies as he is still going strong TV and was thinking along the lines of a character no longer shown. Hey ho!

Is it edible?

Is it paper?

Has it been in the current Film Club?

Alive?

Sorry for delay - couldn't get into server for some reason
[Inks] Fruit? YES!
[Raak] Paper? No
[Iroul] Current Film Club? Wassat then?
[Rosie] Alive? In the light of my reply to Inkspot, probably not relevant :-) Unless one can describe fruit as either alive or dead. In which case I would say either/or.

again

Apologies Iroulé - I now see what you mean.
Current Film Club? I don't think I can spot it.

One particular species of fruit?

A fruit salad?

Sorry - you didn't answer the edible question?

Star fruit?

[Irouléguy] One particular species? Oh yes.
[Rab] Fruit salad? No
[Rab] edible? YES! [sorry]
[Libs] Star fruit? No.

Is associated with being one particular colour?

[Inkspot] One particular colour? Yes.

Mangosteen?

(only in italics)

Strawberry?

Is its colour part of the fruit's name?

[CdM] Mangosteen? No
[Irouléguy] Strawberry? No
[irach] Colour part of fruit's name? No

Is the whole thing normally eaten including the skin/peel?

Is it grown in the UK?

Is it a citrus fruit?

[Inkspot] Eaten whole? Erm ... Yes
[rab] Grown in UK? I don't think so [meaning I can't find any real evidence of such]
[Raak] Citrus fruit? No

BTW - have just spotted a reference to this fruit in the current Film Club

Kumquat?

Mango?

Greengage?

[Lib] Kumquat? No
[irach] Mango? No
[Raak] Greengage? No

Tomato?

Gourd?

[Kim] Tomato? No
[Lib] Gourd? No

A chilli?

[Irouléguy] Chilli? No

Is it generally only used as part of a recipe (like a chilli) rather than on its own (like an apple)?

Is it normally cooked?

[rab] Part of a recipe or on its own? Good question - it is widely known as something that is part of a recipe [although I dare say one could eat it on its own]
[Rosie] Normally cooked? Another good question :-) No - not cooked as such.

Is it a type of dried fruit?

[Raak] A type of dried fruit? Noooo ... but keep going in that direction

Is it a fruit converted into a liquid form?

Would it be good in a cake?

Not necessarily going to help the guessing, but I need to know!

Raisin?

[Raak] Converted into liquid form? Yes it is! [to be clear - it doesn't have to be but is better known once it has been converted]
[Lib] Good in a cake? Doubtful but not a definite No :-)
[irach] Raisin? No

timetable

Can answer any more questions after 10.30 pm, so keep 'em coming

Grape?

Juniper

Tonights discoevery is that raspberry gin is a very good thing....

Is it red?

Is it green?

[irach[ Grape? YES! Now .... which one?
[Lib} Juniper? No ... I agree ... raspberry gin is indeed a fine thing
[Irouléguy] Red? Yes
[Inks] Green? nah

Italian red grape?

Pomegranate?

[Inks] Italian? Not known as such
[Phil] Pomegranate? No

Pinot noir?

Grenache?

Wait -- you said it was widely known (not that Grenache is that obscure, but still). How about
Syrah/Shiraz?

Chardonnay?

Merlot?

Cabernet sauvignon?

Zinfandel?

Now that I've noticed it's a grape :)

Muscat (variously spelled)?

[irach] Pinot noir? No
[CdM] Grenache? No
[CdM] Syrah/Shiraz? No
[Widely known/Obscure? I think I meant widely known for being a grape that is used for wine production rather than just eating :-)]
[rab] Chardonnay? No
[Inkspot] Merlot? No
[Irouléguy] Cab Sauv? No
[Phil] Zinfandel? No
[Raak] Moscato/Moscatell/Moscatel/Muscat? No

Gamay?

Irouléguy has it! The GAMAY grape is the answer. Here - have a glass - CHEERS :-)

Don't mind if I do - it is Friday. Cheers, Chalky! OK, our next is ABSTRACT and MINERAL with ANIMAL connections.

the salf of the earth?

That is, the salt of the earth?

A geographical feature?

To do with language?

Raak - The salt of the earth? No
Rosie - A geographical feature? Um...yes, in one sense
Projoy - To do with language? No

Is it a figurative expression?

Raak] Is it a figurative expression? Not a lot

An historical monument?

Is is a statue of someone?

Is it a sculpture?

Is it a piece of writing?

Kryptonite?

Man In The Moon?

Inkspot] An historical monument? *applause* No, but...
Kim] Is is a statue of someone? *more applause* No, but...
Projoy] Is it a sculpture? I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous answers.
rab] Is it a piece of writing? No
Raak] Kryptonite? No
irach] Man In The Moon? No

The Angel of the North?

Is it fictional/legendary?

Rosie] The Angel of the North? No
rab] Is it fictional/legendary? No

Is it artwork?

Is it a physical structure named for someone?

Is it the headquarters of some organisation?

Is it visible to the human eye?

Lib] Is it artwork? No
Raak] Is it a physical structure named for someone? Yeah, but yeah, but no (imagine it as three separate questions)
Rosie] Is it the headquarters of some organisation? No
rab] Is it visible to the human eye? Yes

An Olympic Torch?

rab] An Olympic Torch? No, but the Olympic torch has been there.

Is it manmade?

Mt Olympus?

Lib - Is it manmade? Yes
Projoy - Mt Olympus? No

Is it larger than a standard four bedroom detached house?

Or there abouts!

Lib] Is it larger than a standard four bedroom detached house? Yes

Is it ancient?

Rosie - Is it ancient? No

Is it in Europe?

Is it a building, i.e. a structure with storeys and rooms?

Is it unique?

We seem to be honing in on something very concrete, yet this thing is supposed to be ABSTRACT. I'm confused.

Is it a popular tourist attraction in the place where it is located?

Inkspot - Is it in Europe? Yes
Raak - Is it a building, i.e. a structure with storeys and rooms? No
CdM - Is it unique? Yes
I probably should have clued this as MINERAL and ABSTRACT - apologies for any confusions. It's another of those borderline ones, where it all depends on what you mean by 'abstract'. I do think there is an abstractness to it, though - it's a location, which i wouldn't describe as 'something very concrete'.
Kim - Is it a popular tourist attraction in the place where it is located? *ringing applause* YES!

Does a name appear on the card? (e.g., Anne Hathaway's standard four bedroom detached house)

[I] It doesn't sound like any apology is necessary; you did clue it as both mineral and abstract. Being confused is quite a normal state for me.

In the UK?

A sport venue?

Is it a piece of civil engineering?

CdM - Does a name appear on the card? A name, yes
CdM] I meant the order really. I read ABSTRACT and MINERAL as mostly abstract and a bit mineral, whereas it's more helpful to think of it as the other way round.
ImNotJohn - In the UK? Yes
Inkspot - A sport venue? No
Rosie - Is it a piece of civil engineering? Yes (according to the Wikipedia definition of CE).

Is it in London?

The London Eye?

rab] Is it in London? *applause* A capital answer
Inkspot - The London Eye? No

Trafalgar Square?

Cleopatra's Needle?

A bridge?

We have a winner - it's Trafalgar Square! A pigeon is winging its way to INJ with the baton.

somewhat shamefacedly

Nearly a lurker's victory - still I'll take it.

The next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections

Animal = human?

A work of fiction?

An action?

[CdM] Human - Not necessarily, but YES is most helpful
[Irg] fiction - NO
[Inks] Action - NO

A figurative expression?

[Raak] A figurative expression? - NO

A character of myth or legend?

[Kim] Legendary character - NO

An emotion?

[Inkspot] emotion - NO

A symbol?

[Raak] symbol - NO

An action?

Is language involved?

A rite of passage?

[Rosie] Action - I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous answer
[Raak] Is language involved? - NO
[Inks] rite of passage - NO

A social connection?

re previous question - should've been in bed. Sorry.

Anarcho-syndicalism?

[Rosie] A social connection? - NO (in fact rather the reverse)
[CdM] Anarcho-syndicalism? - one day.... but not today

Connected with philosophy?

[CdM] Connected with philosophy - I'm sure you could find a philosopher who would say so, but my answer is NO

Is it a human invention/construct?

[Iroul] Human construct - NO (not this time)

Do I get some sort of prize for having the only question so far that has been answered with something other than 'NO'?

Is it something that applies to most humans?

A scientific law?

Could the animal be a cow?

[CdM] - NO
[Rosie] - Applies to most humans - YES
[Raak] scientific law - NO
[Inks] Could the animal be a cow - NO (Actually, I don't know - I would assume not. In any case it wouldn't help you to guess if the answer were yes.)

Is this an absence of something?

[Iroul] an - NO

To do with the mind?

[Raak] To do with the mind - NO

Solitude?

Is this a medical condition?

An undesirable characteristic?

[Raak] solitude - NO
[Chalky a medical condition - YES (applause)
[Rosie] An undesirable characteristic - 1)YES, 2)NO

Is it a subjective characteristic?

[PJ] subjective - NO

Do the symptoms of this condition manifest themselves externally?

[Chalky] external symptoms - YES

Are men and women equally likely to have this condition?

[Iroul] men & women equally - YES

A neurological syndrome named after a person?

[Irach] neurological syndrome named after a person? - NO and NO

Is it caused by an external pathogen, e.g. virus or bacterium

Is it a common complaint?

[irach] caused by an external pathogen - YES
[Kim] common complaint - YES (applause)

A cold?

I wonder why I thought of that one.

And The Common Cold it is. (or cobbod code, as I would have said 3 days ago) -
Over to Rab

I feel we've had too many abstracts, but the only things I can think of right now are ABSTRACT. So there we go.

(I've chosen only one of them!)

Abstraction?

Nope.

Further reading suggests a possible mineral component.

A stony silence?

Human construct?

[Rosie] No.
[CdM] I don't believe so (the existence of humans is not - as far as I know - conditional on its existence)

A physical phenomenon?

Yes

Could life exist without it?

I expect so.

An astronomical phenomenon?

Possibly, but I would suspect only indirectly.

The tides?

The aurora borealis?

[Rosie] It would be more than a suspicion if it were the tides!

[Irouléguy] No.

An astrological phenomenon?

To do with the weather?

[Raak] No.

[Inkspot] YES!

Is it a wind?

To do with global warming?

The atmosphere?

[Inkspot] Wind is involved.

[Raak] Maybe, not sure.

[irach] "The atmosphere" are not the words that appear on the card.

The ozone hole?

Le mistral?

Jet stream?

[Raak] No.

[Irouléguy] No.

[irach] No.

Does it involve high winds?

Tornado?

[Raak] Yes.

[irach] No.

A hurricane?

Cyclone/

[Raak] No.
[irach] No\

Is the possible mineral component water?

Yes.

A perfect storm?

"The Tempest"?

El Nino?

A storm surge?

It seems that the thing I've chosen is not particularly well-defined but I believe that my answers are consistent with most people's understanding of what this us.

[Raak, irach, CdM, Rosie] No.

s/us/is

Is this associated with a particular part of the world?

Does it at ground level?

Is the abstractness anything to do with literature?

[Irouléguy] Yes. *applause*
[Inkspot] Does it what at ground level?
[Raak] No - not a human creation.

The global conveyer

(it is associated with a particular part of the world, albeit a very large part)

Is it seasonal?

[rab]That's what happens from simulposting the same thing then trying to think of something else, all before the first cup of tea of the morning.

Is it in the northern hemisphere?

El Niño?

The monsoon?

[Raak] Certainly associated with the northern hemisphere, but not sure if it's confined to it.

[Rosie] I wouldn't be that pedantic (see CdM's last guess).

[Ir] Nope.

The doldrums?

Is it a specific named wind like the monsoon?

Trade Winds?

Trans-Atlantic Drift?

Low Bailey 986 expected South Utsire 971 by this time tomorrow?

Is the wind associated with this phenomenon always from a particular direction, more or less?

(rab) Sorry, didn't see CdM's El Nino. I'm sure he pronounced it right, though.

[Inkspot] Not the doldrums.
[Irouléguy] The least misleading answer is probably 'no'. I'll elucidate further later if need be.
[irach] Not trade winds.
[Chalky] Nor a Trans-Atlantic Drift, although one or two audience members have woken up.
[Rosie] Low Bailey... 'fraid not.
[Rosie] Again not sure, but with 95% certainty I would say YES!

(that last to Rosie's direction question, and a different one-or-two audience members are starting to look agitated)

Does the answer on the card contain a geographical reference?

[Rab] You didn't answer a couple of earlier questions - 'Is it seasonal?' and 'The global conveyor?'

[ImNotJohn] YES! *applause*
Whoops - seasonal yeah, global conveyor no.

The Azores High?

Nope.

Equinoctial gales?

The Gulf Stream?

[Rosie, Raak] No.

Is it a hot desert wind of North Africa?

[irach] *Considerable peals of laughter, hooting, rolling about and slapping of thighs from the audience* No.

Okay, then. Is it an Arctic Express wind blast?t

That's good enough for me - it was Arctic Blast that was on the card.

This one is ANIMAL and VEGETABLE with a dash of MINERAL as well.

A tequila shot?

[Raak] After the day I've had, I wish it was a tequila shot. But 'no" is the answer to your "shot in the dark".

Is it something you eat or drink?

Is it larger than a washing machine? (an average sized british one).

[Iroleguy] Yes.

[Lib] No.

Is it a sandwich?

Smoky bacon crsisps?

Does fluid account for more than 50% of its volume?

[Kim] Not generally a "sandwich", although in one incarnation it may be so.
[Raak] Yummy!! But no.
[rab] This one is a little tricky... It is made up mostly of fluids, but it shouldn't be fluid when bought, or presented for consumption

Is rab's question easier to answer if you leave it at room temperature for a while?

[CdM] It cerainly is, in the affirmative.

Is Ice Cream involved?

[rab] Yes! "Ice cream" are the exact words on the card. (although at minus 17 degrees Celsius room tempaerature, and a minus 30 degree windchill here in suburban Boston, I'm not sure I want any just now. Over to you.

Whoops

Sorry, it's me again. MINERAL

Man-made?

Metallic?

[Rosie] No.

[irach] No.

A geographical feature?

Liquid?

Is there just one of these?

[Rosie] No.
[Raak] No.
[Irouléguy] It describes a class of things.

Is the mineral rock?

A geological term?

[irach] No.
[Rosie] No.

plastic?

Terrestrial?

IINJ] No.
[irach] No.

Sea salt?

Metal?

Is this found in the atmosphere?

Asteroids?

[irach] No.
[Raak] No.
[Chalky] Possibly (and that goes for terrestrial too, actually).
[Rosie] No.

A gas?

[Rosie] More gassy than anything else I would have thought.

To do with volcanoes?

A "greenhouse" gas?

A plasma, e.g. on the sun?

[Raak] No
[irach] No
[Rosie] No - but getting warmer (and not because you mentioned the sun).

Cosmic rays>

The solar wind?

Still mentioning the sun. :-)

Aurora borealis?

[Raak] I don't think cosmic rays are completely disconnected from what's written on the card.
[Rosie] Nope.
[irach] No.

Is it found in interstellar space?

[Raak] I believe so.

Is it found within our solar system?

Hydrogen?

[Inkspot] It might be.
[Rosie] No.

Is it made of subatomic particles (not assembled into nuclei)?

A particular element?

[Raak] Probably, yes.
[Irouléguy] No.

Dark matter?

If that isn't the answer, it should be.

YES! - Dark Matter it is.

Coo - I got a science one. OK, our next is quite different - ANIMAL and VEGETABLE (and ABSTRACT insofaras the answer's a concept, rather than a straighforward description).

Edible?

Raak] Edible? Yes

Meat and potatoes?

A particular dish?

A vegetarian diet?

Associated with a particular geographic area?

A Stew?

Raak] Meat and potatoes? Both could be included
Darren - A particular dish? Ye..es
Rosie - A vegetarian diet? *laughter rings round the audience* No
ImNotJohn - Associated with a particular geographic area? *applause* YES
irach - A Stew? No

A soup?

Is it a recipe?

A Cornish pasty?

Is the name of the geographic area on the card?

Somewhere in the UK?

Some sort of curry?

irach] A soup? No
Kim] Is it a recipe? No
Raak] A Cornish pasty? No
ImNotJohn] Is the name of the geographic area on the card? A derivative of the name is.
rab] Somewhere in the UK? *applause* Yes
Darren] Some sort of curry? Naan

England?

Scotch broth?

That was gonna be my next guess...

Fish pie?

rab] England? *applause* Yes
Raak - Scotch broth? Nae chance
Inkspot - Fish pie? No

Sweet (as opposed to savoury)?

ImNotJohn] Sweet (as opposed to savoury)? No

Is the place name a town?

Raak] Is the place name a town? No
If the audience had been more awake, they'd have cheered rab's last guess much more loudly.

Is the place name component "English"?

Not that I can think of a di...sh called English anything.

A Sunday Roast?

Scrub that, how about A Full English Breakfast?

An English muffin?

YES! Lurking pays off! A full English it is.

Oh dear. For once I don't have a topic in store. *sound of thinkage*...

Let's have this MINERAL

An artefact?

Solid?

[INJ] Artefact? YES
[Raak] Solid? YES

Unique?

Mainly or entirely metal?

A work of art?

...that is, something made just to be appreciated rather than to be used.

[Rosie] Unique? NO
[INJ] Mainly metal? YES
[Ig] Work of art? NO

Did these exist before the 20th century?

[Raak] Pre-1901? YES

Eating implement?

Fighting implement?

Food or fighting? NO

Larger than a breadbin?

[INJ] > breadbin? YES

Any connection to transport?

Is it connected with agriculture?

Is it connected with building?

Transport? NO
Agriculture? NO
Building? NO

Does it essentially have moving parts?

Essential moving parts? YES

Is it a piece of industrial equipment?

Larger than a telephone box?

Industrial eq.? NO
Smaller than a telephone box.

A household item?

Household item? *some laughter* NO, not in the generic sense.

Does it use fuel?

No fuel (like, say, an old fuel).

Used in a typical workplace?

Is it clockwork?

Powered by human effort?

Typical workplace? NO
Clockwork? NO
Human effort? YES *applause*

A trombone?

Normally used outdoors?

[Raak] Come on, we've already been told it isn't a fighting implement.

A trombone? NO *significant and sustained applause*
Normally used outdoors? YES and NO (strictly NO)

A musical instrument?

Musical instrument? YES! *applause*

Is there a part for it in any of the Beethoven symphonies?

French horn?

Is it a percussion instrument?

Did Beethoven write for it? NO
French Horn? NO
Percussion? NO

A tuba?

Tuba? YES, but that's not the answer. *much applause and cheering*

Some member of the tuba family?

A sousaphone?

A member of the tuba family? YES!
Sousaphone? YES! Ig takes it by a short head from Raak.
According to various googleable sources, the first Sousaphones (not in their current forward-facing configuration) turned up in the 1890s, although a specific date is tricky to track down.

A short note on the use of the trombone as a fighting implement:- Only attack music stands. 100% success guaranteed.

Trivia note - one of the first John Coltrane records I ever bought was him playing with a tuba player called Ray Draper. It's not great jazz, though Coltrane is pretty good on it.
*pause for what passes for thought* OK, our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.

Begins with P?

Blimey, haven't looked at this game for a while.

Fictional?

Character of myth or legend?

Begins with E?

Unicorn?

Tuj] Begins with P? Probably not (and welcome back!)
Raak] Fictional? Yes
Kim] Character of myth or legend? No
Projoy - Begins with E? Equally unlikely
irach - Unicorn? No

A specific animal character in fiction, e.g. the White Rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland"?

An alien being??

irach - A specific animal character in fiction, e.g. the White Rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland"? *applause* YES
Inkspot - An alien being?? *giggles from sections of the audience* Probably not

Does the character normally go on two legs?

Created in the twentieth century?

Is the character in the title of the book, film, play etc?

Is the animal non-human?

Raak] Does the character normally go on two legs? Yes
Projoy] Created in the twentieth century? Yes
Rosie - Is the character in the title of the book, film, play etc? No
irach - Is the animal non-human? Hmmm...I think it's mean to be sort of human

Is its first appearance in a TV programme?

rab] Is its first appearance in a TV programme? *CANNED APPLAUSE* Yes
Thinking about irach's question, a better answer would be that you probably wouldn't think of it as a human character (though it might be).

Cat from Red Dwarf ?

A cartoon character?

Is the genre science fiction?

American TV programme?

Inkspot] Cat from Red Dwarf ? No
Raak - A cartoon character? No
Kim - Is the genre science fiction? No
Projoy - American TV programme? Yes

An alien?

Oh, you already answered that. How about A TV programme from after 1980?

Projoy] - A TV programme from after 1980? No

Howdy Doody?

Sesame Street character?

irach - Howdy Doody? Nope
Inkspot - Sesame Street character? *some applause* No

A puppet?

The Banana Splits?

Miss Piggy?

Projoy - A puppet? *the audience wave their hands appreciatively* YES!
Raak - The Banana Splits? Worst. Children's. Programme. Ever? No
irach - Miss Piggy? *collective cry of "Moi?" from the audience* Very close!

Waldorf?

Actually, forget that. Too obviously human. How about Beaker?

Animal?

Ha-ha.

Kermit?

*throws drumsticks at Tuj* AARGH! TUJ! LURKER! WINNER!

While attempting to google for information on Animal's supposed species, I found this lovely quote from the show:

Kermit the Frog: "What's wrong with your drummer? He seems a little crazed."
Sgt. Floyd Pepper (Animal's handler and bandmate): "He's just upset because he missed the Monet exhibit at the British Museum."
Animal: "RENOIR!! RENOIR!!"

Didn't meant to be lurking... I was fairly sure that was wrong...

*throws baton at Iroléguy*

...OK, not Irouléguy, someone else. But the reason I didn't take part is I have very little time on my hands! Someone else best do it.

[Tij] No, you do it. Unless you're not gonna be here to answer people's stuff..

Tuj] Sorry if I offended you - it was a joke, honest :) Do set one...
Projoy] Did you find anything one way or another?

FFS somebody start one.

Yeah, looks like Tuj has timed out.

I nominate Projoy

I'm pro Projoy as well.

Hm. Well, here's a hopefully pretty easy one, then, altho I'm interested to see how it responds to an attempt to pin it down deductively.

It's ABSTRACT with mainly ANIMAL connections (but there's arguably connections to the other two too).

Begins with P?

Yeh sorry guys, that was my point... I apologise for feigning so much offense Irouléguy :P
I'm very in-and-out at present, as you probably haven't noticed: hence 2 queries to the last one & not having been here since my last comment.

[Tuj] P, please, Bob? NO.

Is the ANIMAL in question human?

(sigh)

[Tuj] Human connection? YES, basically.
NB to all. I suspect there's going to be a few questions where true pedantry would insist on a YES AND NO answer. However, I intend to employ a bit of lassitude sometimes in order to give helpful answers.

Is it as basic as life itself?

Lassitude? Isn't that the state of being dog food? Did you mean latitude, or are you actually knackered? :-)

Oops. Yes. Latitude.
As basic as life itself? NO. Some silly people might say YES, but they are silly.

Is it something you could do in bed without help from others?

A human construct?

Tuj] No worries.

Somethihng you can do in bed alone? NO
Human construct? YES

Doesn't lassitude make you poo?

Is it a fictional 'human construct' (whatever that may be)

Is it an action?

Is it an art form?

Some people think farting is an art form, and so it is, but I didn't mean that.

[ISP] Fictional? NO
[Raak] An action? NO
[Rosie] An artform? YES

Is music involved?

This one's gonna go quickly, I think

[Lib] Music involved? YES

A musical?

Opera?

[Lib] A musical? OOOH. ALMOST. *muchos audience applause*
[Raak] Opera? OOOH. ALMOST. *muchos audience applause*
First one to the punch will nod this one in, I think.

The Musical?

Music?

Phantom of the opera?

[rab, Rosie] A touch more specific than music and a touch less than Phantom of the Opera, the words on the card are Musical Theatre, which I think is close enough for Lib to claim the victory. *passes baton to Lib in order to complete the circle of life before the parade passes by*

(Projoy) Quite so. No probs. :-)

Hello everybody. I've not done this before. Did I lurk a bit? Sorry! Hmmm. Let me think.... Right. An easy one for my first time, methinks. This one's Animal and Vegetable.

The Good Old British Sausage?

[Raak] Big Banger? No.

Is it edible?

Bigger than a toaster?

Alive?

[Irouléguy] Edible? Mmmmm. Yep! [Tuj] Bigger than a toaster? Not usually, but some would prefer it that way! [Rosie] Alive? Nah.

Hmmm, time to sign up for that basic HTML nightclass.

Begins with P?

Hahahaha!

Is the animal a specific animal (species)?

Might one eat this in a restaurant?

Opens HTML handbook....

[Tuj] No peas please. No.
[Irouléguy] Specific animal Yes.
[Raak] Rest-your-auntie? Not usually.

Is the animal a bird?

[Inkspot] Birdy song? No.

A pie of some kind?

Is this usually eaten cold?

[Rosie] Pied? No
[Irouléguy] Chilly? Not usually, but not uncommon either!

Is the animal part meat?

[Raak] Meaty goodness? Yes.

Shepherd's Pie?

er, except that fails on the "pie" technicality, doesn't it. Oh well.
Does it require significant preparation?

Is pastry involved?

Is just one type of vegetable involved?

[CdM] Significant preparation? Kinda depends on what you call significant. To a student the answer probably would be yes, as it takes more effort than putting water onto the pot noodle. To Gordon Ramsey then probably yes too, but his would be far too flouncey. To me and you, No.
[Raak] Puff? No pastry.
[Irouléguy] 5-a-Day? There is more than one type of vegetable.... *scratches chin, and hopes that isn't misleading....*

Did it originate in a particular part of the world?

[Inkspot] Original? Yes, I think so.

Pizza?

Is bread involved?

Chip Butty?

Fast food?

[Projoy] Pizza? No.
[Raak] Right said Fred? Yes! (Much applause from the audience)
[INJ] Chip butty Nah.
[rab] Speedy eats? Not so fast, No within traditional definitions although they have become a bit blurred.
You're all getting very warm...

Bacon sandwich?

*Apologises for lurking*

*hits Uncle Korky over the head with a nice bacon butty for winning having lurked* Well Done Guys. Uncle Korky has seized the victory. The words on the card are indeed A Bacon Sandwich. I was rather impressed at Raak's first guess, well done that man!

Oops!

OK - I'll reiterate my apologies! Hopefully this'll be easy enough to guess so that someone more appropriate can take over the reins quickly... This one's animal and vegetable.

Sausages?

[Projoy] Walls have ears? Nope.

Is the animal part alive?

Foodstuff?

Is the animal a specific animal (species)?

it was right lat time...

[Projoy] Livin' thing? Definitely not
[Lib] Munchable? Nope
[Irg] Particular genus? Not one specific one, no...

Elephant's foot umbrella stand?

[INJ] Leg of Nellie No - not a specific animal, remember? :-) (Although one or two audience members were heard to murmur at INJ's question...)

Larger than a toaster?

[Lib] On the appliance graph... Yes, definitely bigger than a toaster

A stuffed animal head mounted on a wall?

Is the animal part leather?

Does it involve an elephant?

Bigger than a phone box?

Is it something you wear?

[Irg] "Bagged that one at..." 'fraid not
[Raak] Tanning? Yes indeedy! (outbreak of audience applause)
[Lib] More Nellie? Unlikely in the extreme!
[Projoy] TARDIS-shaped? Bigger? Difficult to say, but I'd tend towards "No". Certainly not taller.
[Inkspot] Apparrel? No (although someone extremely pedantic might argue this one).

Is it intended for protection?

(The 'elephant's foot umbrella stand' used to be a common standby in early ISIHAC Word Disassociation games)

[INJ] Safe whatever? No (but this also might be argued by someone extremely pedantic). Didn't know that about the 'EFUS' - ta!

A wigwam?

[Projoy] Teepee-tastic? No. Surely wigwams are taller than telephone boxes?

Is the leather part in the form of straps, rather than hides stitched together?

Not the one I made at infant school :) Admittedly, that wasn't leather.

[Projoy] Bondage gear? No.
I'd be interested in reading your reports from Mrs Crazy Horse...

Is it a manufactured item?

[Inkspot] "Men have made these..." Indeed it is. (Burst of applause from audience)

Is the vegetable part wood?

[Raak] Wood? Yes (or equivalent). (More applause)

A whip?

[Irg] *k'tishhhh!* Nope.

Something you sit on?

A piece of furniture?

[Rosie] Seating? Yes! (Applause, some cheering)
[Lib] Furnishings? 'fraid not.

Saddle?

Pic-nic table with leather decorations?!?!

[irach] Saddle? Nope, but there're indications that things are getting warmer...
[Lib] Words fail me... How can I put this...? No, and I'm not convinced that I want to go on a picnic with you now... :-)

Some sort of sledge?

Is seating its primary function?

I was going to suggest a Throne. But I presume UK would have called it a piece of furniture.

A chesterfield?

Sorry misread that - let's try
a chariot?

A shooting stick?

[Projoy] Sister? No (although the audience did sense a positive shift in direction here)
[Lib] Reason why? I would not say that the seating aspect is the primary function, although (clue) I believe that it is an essential factor
[INJ] Boudicca?No (although the audience have again seized on something here)
[Rosie] Bang bang? Sorry - way off the mark.

Rickshaw?

A means of transport?

Do it got wheels?

[Inkspot] Rickshaw? Sorry, no
[Rosie] Transportation? Most definitely (copious applause from audience)
[Projoy] Dey go round 'n' round? No wheels here...

A water-borne craft?

[Inkspot] Splosh Certainly is! (some audience standing to applaud now)

A kayak?

A coracle?

A rowboat?

A scull?

*blatantly lurking * - a dinghy?

Lurking behind Chalky

The Kon-Tiki?

We have a winner!

Hats off to Irouléguy - the actual words on the card were "A Traditional Welsh Coracle", but he's close enough to merit the win in my opinion! Comiserations to everyone else!

Well, that was a half-lurk, at least - apologies to those who did the hard work. With my usual impeccable timing, I'm keyboardless most of tonight and tomorrow, so let's have an easy(ish) one - our next is MINERAL and VEGETABLE.

A manufactured item?

irach] A manufactured item? *animated discussion in the audience* The more useful answer is 'no'.

Tin of Baked Beans?

Kim] Tin of Baked Beans? No (though this might go well with it)

Maybe back online later tonight - sorry, folks

Is the mineral salt?

Food?

oven ready chips?

Was the debate about manufacturing because there is preparation involved?

Mashpertater?

Is the vegetable Antony Worrall-Thompson?

Larger than a can of coke?

irach] Is the mineral salt? *applause* Yes!
Raak] Food? No(though this might go well with it)<
Inkspot] oven ready chips? See above
CdM - Was the debate about manufacturing because there is preparation involved? *more applause* Yes!
Projoy - Mashpertater? I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous-but-one answer.
I Say, Porter! - Is the vegetable Antony Worrall-Thompson? No
Lib - Larger than a can of coke? This doesn't really have a size

Apologies for the delay - as a partial defence, I was delayed in The Doric Arch until closing time, so I was in the Morniverse in spirit.

Celery Salt?

Or is the vegetable pepper?

Projoy] Berry astute - salt and pepper it is. One lightly seasoned baton handed over...

OK, here's an ABSTRACT

Can you see it?

Visible? NO

Can it be perceived by the other four traditional senses?

Olfactable, Audible, Haptable, Linguable? NO

Er, having looked those up, I think I meant "olfactible, audible, tactible, gustable"

Truth?

Quid est veritas? NO

Is it a human construct?

Mathematical?

Human construct? YES
Numberish? NO

Is it a system of government?

Is it a British thing?

government? NO
British? NO, not exclusively

Solitude?

The absence of something?

Solitude? SORT OF *audience applause*
Absence of something? YES *more applause*

Have you lots your mind?

aargh. Sorry. That's wrong. I mean lost and not lots...

[Lib] No, I haven't since you ask. :)

Bereavement?

Bereavement? NO *more applause*

Death?

DEATH? NO

Widowhood?

Solipsism?

Widowhood? YES, the very word on the card. That went surprisingly quickly. Over to Rosie.

Well, that was a bit lucky, so here we go with something less grim, and it's MINERAL

Diamond?

(Lib) No, not as un-grim as that, I'm afraid.

Metallic?

Manufactured?

A particular element?

(Projoy) Not metallic, essentially.
(Lib) Manufactured would be rather an odd description, but, actually, YES.
(Irouléguy) Not an element.

Made by hand?

A liquid?

Extruded?

(Projoy) Partly hand-made, mostly not.
(Irouléguy) Not a liquid. *audience laughter*
(ISP) Not extruded. *further merriment*. Sorry about the audience; they're a cruel lot.

One specific thing?

Silly putty?

(Tuj) One specific thing? - Very much so.
(Raak) Very much not so.

Is it solid?

(Raak) YES- solid.

I think I should add that the subject also has an ABSTRACT quality, which maybe ought to have been in the original definition, otherwise this may take ages.

Fictional?

Oscar?

Bigger than a toaster?

(Projoy) It really exists.
(ISP) Not an Oscar.
(Tuj) If not it would have to be some toaster, so YES.

Are there many examples of it?

Do you own one?

Artwork? Sculpture?

(Projoy) There is but one.
(Lib) Erm, no. *audience hilarity*.
(ISP) Not art or sculpture.

Is it in Britain?

Is it outside?

The holy grail?

tourist attraction?

(Raak) YES - in Britain.
(Lib) *some thoughtful audience murmurs - some suppressed giggles* In the sense you ask, YES. Not the holy grail, though.
(ISP) Probably, in a very minor way.

An architectural construction?

Is it associated with Monty python? (Or am I very naughty girl?)

Stonehenge?

Some huge image carved out of the hillside somewhere?

On the coast?

(Raak) Not really architecture.
(ISP) Not Stonehenge or a man with a huge willy.
(Lib) NO, and I'D SAY YES :-)
(Projoy) On the coast? Not really ON it so much as . . .

The Coast?

The white cliffs of Dover?

Or a particular part of the British coast?

The Sands of Dee?

The Jurassic coast?

(Projoy 1) Not the coast itself.
(Lib) Not the White Cliffs.
(Projoy 2) Not The Coast anywhere.
(irach) Not the Sands of Dee.
(Irouléguy) Not the ~Jurassic coast.

You have all wandered into the outer regions of darkness where it is very cold. Look at the answer to Lib's second question. This is man-made.

A lighthouse?

(Inkspot) Not a lighthouse.

Made of stone?

A structure for sea defence?

A connection with transportation?

Chunnel?

Is it bigger than a standard ex-council three bed semi?

Projoy - YES, made of stone.
Raak - Not a sea defence.
Inkspot - YES, connected with transport *audience cheers*
ISP - Not the Chunnel, but *HUGE audience cheers*
Lib - Certainly is in one direction, maybe two.

Bah! Humber! Is it a bridge or similar construction?

The Seikan Tunnel?

[Raak] That's stretching the 'yes' for your earlier 'in Britain' question a bit far...

Is it a road?

Is it a tunnel?

ISP - NO, not a bridge
Raak - See ISP's comment.
Chalky - NO, not a road.
Lurker Kim - YES, it's a tunnel.

Is it in England?

Uncle Korky (lurking again)

A railway tunnel?

The Severn Tunnel?

The Blackwall Tunnel?

The world's first passenger train tunnel, the 800-yard Tyler Hill Tunnel?

One of the tunnels which make up LU?

Lib1 - Half of it
UK lurker - YES
Chalky - Not the Blackwall Tunnel
Lib2 - Would I put up anything as arcane as that? 828 yds, BTW :-)
ISP - Not part of the tube.

But we have a winner, and it's RAAK, with the Severn Tunnel. Your go.

The next is primarily MINERAL, with a small ABSTRACT connection.

No, scratch that, the next one is ABSTRACT, with MINERAL connections, tenuously related to Rosie's one.

Actually, it's ABSTRACT and ANIMAL, with a MINERAL connection tenuously related to Rosie's one.

Iron horse?

Is it an organisation?

Shurely not Riddlesdown Tunnel?

An excavation?

[irach] Not an iron horse.
[Inkspot] Not an organisatsion.
[Rosie] Not Riddlesdown Tunnel.
[Rosie] Nor an excavation.

Is the mineral connection the River Severn?

[Irou] Not connected with the River Severn. The connection is more indirect.

Is there a railway connection?

[UK] No railway connection. BTW, the mineral connection is unlikely to be helpful in solving this.

Human construct?

Is the animal human?

[CdM] The mineral connection is.
[Kim] Yes, human.

Is this a space for the use of humans?

[Rosie] Not a space.

Are we talking more than one construct here...?

[UK] No: one mineral construction tenuously related to the actual answer.

Is there just one of these?

[I] Just one (of both the actual answer and the tenuously and completely unhelpfully related mineral construction).

Is this really as complicated as it seems?

Am I correct in assuming the term "construct" is not being used in the sense of an idea or invention but in this case simply means a structure?

A bus shelter, say, as opposed to anarcho-syndicalism.

[Chalky] Not at all complicated. Just an ABSTRACT ANIMAL that I expect everyone has heard of.
[Rosie] Yes: the unhelpfully distantly related mineral thingummy is a physical structure.

Was it built during the Victorian era?

[I] Um...[google]...no.

Does it commemorate an event?

[Inkspot] Not commemorative.

And to answer again the "human construct" question (a concept I'm not quite clear on), the ABSTRACT ANIMAL is a human creation.

[Inkspot] Oh, and the ABSTRACT ANIMAL was created in the Victorian era.

Is it a place in the physical world associated with a fictional person?

[Inkspot] Quite the reverse.

Is the person a synecdoche? e.g. "the unknown soldier"?

[Projoy] Not synecdocheic. Synecdochoic. Synecdochish.

Does this mean... that we're looking for a fictional person associated with a place in the physical world...?

[UK] That is the nub, gist, and essence of the matter. Of course, the association is tenuous and unhelpful.

From the works of Lewis Carroll?

[I] applause! Yes.

The lion, from the Lion, the witch and the wardrobe?

Hmm. I sense I accidently lurked as went away for the weekend. Sorry! But its probably not right anyway.

[Lib] ROWRR! Not Aslan.

Alice herself, perhaps?

[UK] Not Alice.

The Mad Hatter?

Cheshire cat?

AArgh. I do realise what I've done above... I feel such a confused fool. sigh. Sorry for being such a plank.

Mr Tumnus, Idi Amin's doctor?

[irach] Not the Mad Hatter.
[Lib] Not the Cheshire cat. (Don't worry, ISP's just done the same.)
[ISP] I'll have whatever you're smoking.

Tweedledum (or-dee)

A character exclusively from "Through The Looking Glass"?

The queen of Hearts?

Who made some tarts.

Jabberwock? Althogh I'm not clear to which place the Jabberwock is tenuously connected

[re: C.S. Lewis Carroll] In my defence, Lib started it.

[Raak] Mr Tumnus - Narnia - James McAvoy - Last King of Scotland

The Snark (who was a Boojum, you see)

[irach] is that 'Number 23... the Snark' ... 'Number 24 The Spanish Inquisition'

In the Alice books?

[irach] Not Tweedledum-diddle-dee.
[Projoy] Yes! From "Through The Looking Glass".
Hence also [INJ] Yes, and [everyone else] No.

The Carpenter (of Walrus and the Carpenter fame?)

Humpty Dumpty

(who I believe has a particular connection to a particular wall in Gloucester)

[irach] Not the Carpenter.
[Projoy] Not Humpty Dumpty.

One of the chess pieces?

The Red King?

The White Queen?

[I] Yes, one of the chess pieces.
[i] Not the Red King.
[P] Not the White Queen.

http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext91/lglass19.txt

A silly English kernnnnnnigget?

[ISP] Yes! But which one?

The White Knight?

Tho I'm not sure of the mineral connection. Is it the "design/To keep the Menai bridge from rust/By boiling it in wine"?

The knight who says 'Ni!'

[Projoy] That sounds tenuous and unhelpful to me.

In the interest of balance, I feel compelled to ask... the Black Knight?

[UK] It's just a flesh wound. What Black Knight? Have you confused Through the Looking Glass with Monty Python and the Holy Grail? If so, my fault.

I confess - I've never read the book... made an assumption based on chess that if there's a white knight, the should be a black knight. I suppose you're going to tell me it's red instead! :-)

Indeed it is, so either you or Projoy has won (unless there are other knights I didn't notice).

Technically, there are four knights, and the white one Alice meets, according to Carroll's detailed schema for the book, is the White King's knight. The other Knight is the Unicorn. On the red side, the Red Knight that the White Knight fights is also the King's knight, with the Carpenter as the Queen's Knight. (The Walrus is the Red Queen's bishop and the Lion is the Red King's rook).

(Incidentally, the White Knight has Hatta (the Mad Hatter from the first book) as his pawn)

[Projoy] It is indeed The White Knight, and you have correctly identified the tenuous and unhelpful connection with water-traversing constructions.
[UK] You must read it, and Alice in Wonderland forthwith!

OK. This one is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.

Something you would find in the home?

A model of a Modern Major-General?

Human animal?

Is the vegetable wood?

[ISP] Found in the home? NO
[Lib] Human? YES, but somewhat misleading
[irach] Vegetable wood? YES, but also somewhat misleading.

Is it a single thing or are there loads of them?

A grave?

[Lib] A single thing? NO
[Raak] A grave? NO, but that may be involved

[Lib] Single thing? Well, actually, YES, this is a single thing (there is not more than one of it), but then again, it isn't.

Heather Mills' prosthetic wooden leg/

[irach] NO :)

Is the mineral metal?

[Ig] YES, but somewhat misleading.

A coffin?

A collection of objects or people?

Scrap "coffin". Must've pressed the wrong button.

[Rosie] A collection of objects or people? YES! That should save a lot of misleading answers!

Life, the Universe and Everything?

A nation?

Delimited geographically?

[INJ] The whole caboodle? NO
[UK] A nation? NO
[INJ] Delimited geographically? YES *applause*

A graveyard?

[Raak] Thriller? NO

Tate Modern or simlah?

[ISP] Art gallery? NO

Do these people have some common interest?

Haven't heard caboodle since my Mum died. Or shemozzle, though I use it myself.

[Rosie] A common interest? ARGUABLY. More YES than NO, I'd say.

Is this some sort of educational institution?

[Chalky] Nursery, school, college, Uni etc.? NO

A place? Geographical-like?

A geographicalistical place? YES!

A large city?

Not Pontefract, for example.

In Europe?

A smallish location ( a single building/city block or smaller)?

Clarification required. When you answered 'yes' to 'Is the mineral metal?', did that mean that some of the mineral involved was metal, but not necessarily all?

[Rosie] Large city? NO
[Ig] European? YES
[INJ] Smallish? NO, as you define it.
Clarification: metal is involved, but also many other minerals; there is a similarly wide variety of vegetable and animal matter.

A population centre?

[ISP] Population centre? YES, if I've understood the terminology.

St Dogmaels?

Gone, but not forgotten.

In a BENELUX country?

By population centre I meant town, village etc.

[INJ] St Dogmaels? NO *some applause*
[ISP] Benelux? NO

In Wales?

Powys to the People?

[Raak] Wedi ei wneud yng Nghmru? YES! *more applause*
[ISP] In Powys? NO

In it to Gwynedd?

[ISP] Gwynedd? NA

In south Wales

With a questionmark?

Is there a Doctor Who connection?

The contents of the Torchwood vaults?

Can you wear it? [re: Torchwood] Shurely Cardiff is bigger than Pontefract, apart from the obvious 280000 more inhabitants.

A oes cysylltiad a'r Morniverse?

Sort that out, y' bugger. :-)

[Rosie] That;s never a direct translation of 'sort that out y'bugger'

(ISP) Dead right. Actually it means Is there a connection with the . . . . . ., for the benefit of all, esp. Projoy.

[Rosie] Ah, but connections with the Morniverse are myriad, just check the appendixes to your Stovold's.

Appendices!

[Ig] South Wales? NO
[UK] Doctor Who? NO (that I can think of)
[Raak] Torchwood connection? NO
[ISP] Can you wear it? Have you ever worn a population centre?
[Rosie] Connected with the Morniverse? Hey, that's the first time a word I coined (well, I think I coined it) has been used in a Welsh sentence. :) NO.

Centre for Alternative technology?

Random tourist attraction generator in action there.

[Lib] CAT? NO. Not in Powys (see response to ISP above).

On the coast?

[Ig] Going Coastal? YES

Near the Menai Bridge?

Is it in Ceredigion?

Portmeirion?

That was more action from the Random Tourist attraction generator.

Is the generally used name of English origin, eg Swansea?

(ISP) I can no longer even lift my copy of Stovold's without doing my back in.

[Raak] Near the Menai Bridge? YES *applause*
[Chalky] Ceredigion? NO
[Lib] The village? NO
[Rosie] Anglicised name? NO!
I think the next person should be able to nod this one in.

Wild stab in the dark... Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?

Can you wear it?

[Projoy] It's not CARDIGAN then.

[Uncle Korky] Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch? YDY!! One extremely lengthy baton handed over. [ISP] Ah!

Still feel a bit of a fraud & lurker... still, something to be said for being in the right place at the right time... OK - I'm thinking of something ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.

Fictional creature?

[UK] Fret not about lurking, you did ask a couple of questions before getting it - it's not as if the answer was your only contribution on our communal road to Anglesey via Pontefract and other major population centres in Western Europe.

[IS,P] NO. The more I think about what I've picked, the more uncertain I become with the definition at the top. Let's say... ABSTRACT, with an ANIMAL connection, and hope I don't get lynched.

Is it a creature as such, then?

Maybe I'll let someone else play in a bit.

[IS,P] NOT A CREATURE. Oh, you go for it! :-) At least no-one can suggest you've been lurking! lol

Re: At least no-one can suggest you've been lurking

... or working!

A symbol?

A Human Construct?

An edifice?

[Raak] NOT A SYMBOL
[Chalky] HUMAN CONSTRUCT? ERM... TECHNICALLY... although this could be misleading...
[IS,P] NOT AN EDIFICE

Mad Cow Disease?

Many instances of it?

Tennis Elbow?

A figure of speech?

[IS,P] MOO? NOO!
[Projoy] NO (but this also could be misleading...)
[Chalky] NO - not even Badminton Bottom
[Raak] NO

Is the Animal connection necessarily human?

[Rosie] The animal connection is DEFINITELY human.

Does it refer to something that occurs naturally?

[Projoy] NO *some chuckles from audience members*

An ailment of some kind?

Sex-related?

[IS,P] NO *further chuckles from cynical audience members*
[snorgle] NO - not that I've noticed, anyway...

Is this a GOOD thing, would you say?

[Korks] Could erm ... would ... um .. you kindly pop a word or two from the question next to your reply so we don't have to search back .. pretty please :-)

Clothing or accessory?

To do with belief?

Is this found in Britain?

Could you give me one?

A double entendre?

(forced)

Connected in any way with a piece of technology?

(INJ) Forced, my fifth metatarsal. You're only marginally less salacious than Lib, not that that's saying much.

[Rosie] You know me so well, and we've never properly met!

(Lib) Shall we nip off while Uncle Korky's not looking?

Apologies for absence - not getting online at weekends at the moment. [Chalky] Comments noted and agreed! [Rosie] Comment noted - see me after class!
[Chalky] A good thing? Very much a matter of opinion.
[ISP] Clothing / Accessory? Nope.
[Projoy] Belief? I don't wish to mislead you, but many would say it's more a matter of disbelief. I hope you'll see the humour in this when you know the answer!
[Irg] In UK? Sometimes...
[Lib]I'm not that kind of chap - you'd have to buy me dinner first! Oh... er... no! :-)
[INJ] Double entendre? Non!
[Rosie] Connected with technology? Not specifically.

Any religious connection?

[Irg] God-bothering? Nope.

Connected with fiction?

[Projoy] Fiction? No (sadly not, according to some)

Global-Warming deniers?

[Rosie] Global warming deniers? No. And, as a first clue, we're looking for something more frivolous.

Food- or drink-related?

Connected with the arts?

Connected with the Morniverse?

[Irg] Scoff/quaff? No.
[Projoy] Arty? Yes *applause*.
[IS,P] Morniversal? Nope.

Skulpchah?

A particular artwork?

[IS,P] Bust? Nope
[Projoy] You've been framed? Nope

A particular artform? (can include really crap ones!)

[Projoy] I feel it would be safer to describe it as an example of a particular artform...

An example of a particular artform which is not an artwork. Curiouser and curiouser.

Karaoke?

Connected with the Visual arts?

[Projoy] Empty orchestra? Nope, but the audience knows a positive change in direction when they see it!
[INJ] Visual arts? There is a connection...

The winning entry in the Eurovision Song Contest?

That's near enough for me! The answer on the card was The Eurovision Song Contest, so a frequently cheesy and tone-deaf is passed to Irouléguy by Terry Wogan!

Erm... the word "baton" should have appeared in that sentence... *slinks away embarrassed*

I've never understood the appeal of Eurovision, myself *ducks*.
O-OK, our next is ABSTRACT with strong MINERAL connections, possibly ANIMAL or VEGETABLE or BOTH

A human construct?

Does it have its own wikipedia entry?

The activities of a group of people?

(Irg) No need to duck. Even when "ah were a lad" I thought it pretty awful and that's going back a bit. It actually seems to have got worse over the years, something we then didn't think possible.

Fictional?

I Say, Porter! - A human construct? Possibly.
Projoy - Does it have its own wikipedia entry? *Googles, Wikis* Yes. The words on the card actually have several Wiki pages, and a disambiguation page, but not all of them refer to the actual answer.
Rosie - The activities of a group of people? Possibly in the future
Eurovision] Mind you, I didn't think heavy metal could get any worse either...
Tuj - Fictional? This exists in fiction, but it may not be fictional.

A process

Projoy - A process? In one sense, possibly (but I don't think that's very useful).

Religious?

Tuj - Religious? It might be (and in several fictional representations definitely is).

An icon?

I Say, Porter! - An icon? No, Cina.

Clarification - are the animal and/or vegetable aspects also "connections" or do they refer to The Answer itself?

The animal and/or vegetable aspects may be The Answer (though none of the words on the card are animal or vegetable names)

A biological classification?

Is it a three word answer?

Rosie - A biological classification? *applause* YES
Chalky - Is it a three word answer? *more applause* YES
As a further clarification, The Answer could also be neither animal nor vegetable.

Genetically Modified Goods?

Scrub that... Is it connected with cloning?

Projoy - Is it connected with cloning? It might be (that would have served as an answer to the GM question as well).

Single-celled organism?

(I know it isn't this, but just throwing a stone to see if it hits anything)

Genus, species, commonname?

Wouldn't even know where to begin with this one...!

(stealing an extra go as this one's so hard) Is it connected with mutation?

Is at least one of the words on the card Latin?

Projoy - Single-celled organism? It could be.
Lib - Genus, species, commonname? No to all
Uncle Korky - Wouldn't even know where to begin with this one...! The answer is a very common phrase, which I think everyone will recognise (not least because of its use in other contexts).
Projoy - Is it connected with mutation? It might be.
Rosie - Is at least one of the words on the card Latin? No - all plain English

Rosie] To be properly pedantic, one of the words is a Latin word which is in everyday use in English.

Something to do with alien life?

(It's not "little green men" as all three of those words are Germanic in origin).

Projoy - Something to do with alien life? *the audience begin humming John Williams tunes* YES

Extra Terrestrial Beings?

Unidentified Flying Objects?

Projoy - Extra Terrestrial Beings? Yes, but more specifically...
Raak - Unidentified Flying Objects? No

Invaders from Mars?

(or possibly just Life on Mars, I suppose.)

*Sailors fighting in the dancehall
Oh man, look at those cavemen go*
Life on Mars it is - which I thought would be got a lot sooner. Hopefully we'll grok the next one quicker...

Huzzah! I slightly carpet-bombed my way to that one, but I was bored at work today... Had a few abstracts lately, so here's an honest-to-goodness VEGETABLE

Actually, I just thought of a better one, which is NONE OF THE ABOVE

Gravity?

[Raak] Newton/Apple? NO

Can I hold it?

Is it a feeling or sensation of sorts?

[Lib] Can you hold it? NO
[irach] A feeling/sensation? NO

[Lib] There is an extremely unhelpful, but nonetheless plausible case in which one could be said to hold this thing, but NO is by far the best answer.

Nothing?

None of the above! I'd imagined that may be argued with.

A vacuum?

Not a Hoover, Dyson, Dustette, Electrolux Lite etc.

[Tuj] Nowt? NO
[Rosie] Vacuum? NO

Is it fictional?

Not Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract?

[UK] Fictional? NO, or 'twould be abstract
[Chalky] None of those.

[Chalky] If you put a gun to my head I might call it as "mineral-esque"

Is it on this planet?

[UK] On Earth? YES

Is it a form of energy?

Light?

[UK] Form of energy? YES, pretty much
[Néa] Light? YES, to an extent *applause for both questions*

A rainbow?

"My bowe betwene you and mee/in the fyrmamente shalbe"? NO

A photon?

[UK] Photon? NOT OHP.

Electromagnetic radiation?

Lightning?

Fire?

[UK] Good guess!

[rab] Electromagnetic radiation? IT IS INVOLVED...
[UK] Lightning? NO
[Tuj] Fire? YES, altho as this has been short, I shall be a stickler and note that that is not what's written on the card.

Is it all about elementary particles?

Well, everything is, but you know what I mean.

[Rosie] Elemental, my dear boson? YES, but Tuj pretty much has his finger on the answer. At this moment it's a mere matter of near-synonymity.

Flames?

A pestilential conflagration of vapours

[UK] Close enough. The words on the card are A Flame. Hands immolatory Olympic torch to Uncle Korky

[Projoy] Thanks, my good sir!
[Tuj] Apologies - seems I was more bored at work today than you!
Why do I do this? Win just before the weekend, when I won't be online 'til I'm back in the office at 8.30 on Monday? Never mind, it'll give you all a chance to get your thinking caps on again... This one's MINERAL.

A single specific object?

I am genuinely doing this in a (temporarily paused) meeting.

Naturally occurring?

[Raak] You think that's impressive? I frequently post to MC sites in meetings, even, occasionally, bi-lateral ones.

Ok, I am now posting from a meeting in progress.

Mainly metal?

Well, I'm posting, between shovelfuls, from the footplate of a large steam engine which I can hardly stand up on. Bloody railtours.

Well, I'M not even bothering to post a question - so there :)

(Chalks) Very sensible, m'dear. We could have a discussion on the likely subject in the light of UK's previous, the Eurovsion Song contest. As it's mineral shall a start the ball rolling by suggesting an OLD HEAVY CHINA TEAPOT, which could be hurled at the box during the broadcast of this ludicrous eisteddfod.

Potty syntax - "shall a" = "I shall".

Diamond?

It's got to come up one day.

edible?

Related to salt?

Why have I guessed three times? I dunno, I just felt like it.

Well, I'm not posting this from a meeting, it being Saturday morning, but I am listening to Radio 4 while riding a unicycle and cooking breakfast for four hundred Swedish Naval officers.

It's now Sunday and I'm posting this from the Dome of St. Paul's cathedral, where I'm wearing a "Kiss Me Slow" hat and blessing nearby paupers with holy porridge.

[Projoy] Yer mad you :-) AND why are you posting so early when we've all lost an hour's sleep? Talking of lost hours, which we weren't, but I'm going to anyway ... how long can I get away with the "oops sorry I'm late waking up/for work/cooking the dinner, but my head tells me it's still a whole hour earlier"?

This is AVMA, yes? I'm still not posting a question, so there.

[Chalky] The lost hour thing doesn't last for long I'm afraid. I was a particularly happy bunny as I was on nights this time (apart from the fact that it was over my birthday, so I had to work twice on said day) but I gained the short shift when 1am magically became 2am.

Can you hold it?

I am playing this game. All alone at the moment. Anyone want to play with me?

Okay, folks - weekend's over, and can give you my full attention once more:
[Raak] Single specified object? YES, but might be misleading
[Projoy] Naturally occurring? YES
[Rosie] Mainly metal? ERM... QUITE POSSIBLY. Teapot? ERM... NO
[Lib] Diamond? NO. Edible? NO (audience is amused). Related to salt? NO.
[Projoy] There's another 'AMVA game' on this site, y'know!

Smaller than a toaster?

Erm, still wondering if you can hold it...

[Lib]

[Lib] Smaller than a toaster? NO. Manually graspable? NO.

Larger than a phone box?

Size does matter!

Bigger than St. Paul's?

Bigger than Wales?

[Lib] Larger than a phone box? YES. Size matters? Hmmph. Well, I've never had any complaints...
[Raak] Bigger than St Paul's? YES
[Lib] Bigger than Wales? YES

The Earth?

[Lib] Terra firma? NO

The planet Mercury?

[Rosie] Mercury? NO

Part of the Earth?

Bigger than the moon?

[Raak] Part of the Earth? NO
[Lib] Bigger than the moon? YES

Bigger than the Earth?

I'm going to get its size eventually!

[Lib] Bigger than the Earth? I'd have to say YES, although (and this is a big game-ending clue) this would be AS A WHOLE...

The Universe?

Erm, sorry guys. I'm revising you see. Get easily distracted from the finer points of pharmacology.

[Lib] The whole caboodle? NO

The Kuiper belt?

The galaxy?

Is it gaseous?

Does it contain more mass than the earth?

*Wanders in. Remembers last time. Beats a hasty retreat.*

The (main) asteroid belt?

(According to Wikipedia, "The total mass of the Asteroid belt is estimated to be 3.0-3.6×1021 kilograms,[4][5] which is 4% of the Earth's Moon. Of that total mass, one-third is accounted for by Ceres alone.")

The moons of Jupiter?

[Raak] Kuiper belt? TOO FAR OUT, MAN...
[Lib] The Galaxy? NO
Tuj] Gaseous? NO (although probably depends on your sense of scale!)
[Rosie] More mass than the Earth? APPARENTLY NOT! Glad I didn't have to look that one up myself!
[Irouléguy] Tie 'em down, child! NO
[Projoy] The (main) asteroid belt? We have a winner! One knobbly and rock-encrusted baton passed on!

Just passing...

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