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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Male?
European?
Sportsman/sportswoman
SPORTSMAN
Currently in the news?
Political figure?
Male? - Yes
European? - No
Sportsman/sportswoman SPORTSMAN? - No
In the news? - Not that I've noticed
Political? - Yes
Middle Eastern?
Is he now retired from the office/position for which he is most famous?
Merkin?
Middle Eastern? - No
Retired? - Yes
American? - No
Butros Butros Ghali?
Butros*2 Ghali? - No
African?
African? - No
Chinese?
Australian?
Asian?
Chinese? - No
Australian? - Yes *Applause*
Asian? - No
John Howard?
John Howard? - No

Summary: A living male Australian politician who has retired.

Bob Hawke?
Bob Hawke? - No
Bryan Gould?
Gough Whitlam?
Must be getting on a bit.
Bryan Gould? - No
Gough Whitlam? - No - but The audience is looking interested (As they did at the mention of Bob Hawke)
Richard Alson?
sorry - make that 'ALSTON'
Richard Alston? - No
Malcolm Fraser?
Malcolm Fraser? - Yes
There weren't many more left to try! OK here goes - VEGETABLE
Living?
Edible?
Bigger than a pumpkin?
Living? YES
Edible? YES
Bigger than pumpkin? NO
Is it normally cooked before being eaten?
Oops! It seems I was wrong. Not edible! will explain error at the end.
Is it an inedible part of something that also has an edible part?
Edible+inedible? NO
Is its inedibility due to it being poisonous?
Toxic? Not particularly
Green?
Green? YES! Applause
A leaf of some kind?
Leaf? YES Renewed applause
A shamrock?
[Raak] YES! Well done. Re my error concerning edibility, I googled "shamrock recipes" and got loads of sites with "shamrock salad", "shamrock sandwiches" "shamrock pie" etc. I didn't bother to visit any but just assumed that shamrocks were edible. Later I found out these were all sham recipes [ :) ] and did not contain any shamrocks at all but were either green, cut into shamrock shapes or were green cocktails consisting mainly of Irish Whiskey and Chartreuse or lime cordial! And now over to Raak.
The next one is MINERAL
manufactured?
Metal, largely?
[CdM] Partly.
[Rosie] Yes.
Jewelry of some kind?
Bigger than a phone-box?
[CdM] No.
[Ir] No.
Contains Moving parts?
Choking hazard, not suitable for children under 42 months?
[INJ] Er...sort of.
[GL] No.
Bigger than a shoe-box?
A moving part of some kind?
Powered by electricity?
[INJ] No.
[CdM] Er...sort of. That is, part of it does move, but it's not what you would call "a moving part".
[Inkspot] No.
A Zippo lighter?
A tool?
[I] Not a Zippo lighter.
[I] Not a tool.
Bigger than a Zippo lighter?
Does the moveable part have to move for the thing to "work"?
Is the part that moves liquid?
[K] Could be bigger or smaller.
[R] Er...quite the opposite. (Laughter from the audience) But it must move for this thing to be what it is.
[INJ] (Applause!) Yes.
A spirit level?
[I] Clever, but no.
Thermometer?
[C] Ditto.
Is it a particular liquid?
[I] Usually.
A rain-gauge?
Mine needs some exercise.
[Rosie] No.
A barometer?
[Kim] No.
[Everyone] Not a tool, remember. The last few guesses were all tools.
Snowglobe?
[GL] Not a snowglobe. (The audience hibernates in underground caverns while glaciers sweep down from the poles.)
Is the liquid usually oil?
Does it have glass parts?
A lava lamp?
[I] Not usually oil.
[I] No glass.
[R] Not a lava lamp.
Is the liquid a drink?
[I] Erm....the typical liquid is water.
Does the water not move when the thing is working because it is frozen?
Is this thing basically ornamental?
[CdM] (A meteor strike melts the ice sheets and the audience wake up and re-evolve into sentient creatures again.) No.
[Rosie] Not ornamental.
Is it a container?
Kitchen sink plug?
strike thast= not usually metallic.
thast= that-
[GL] Container? Sort of.
[D] Not a plug.
Is this used on its own, or as a component of something?
[I] It's a part of something.
Is it an indicator of some kind?
[Rosie] Not an indicator.
Is this a fair summary of what we know so far?
Summary:
Mostly metal, involves water as it's only moving part.
Is not ornimental.
A container of sorts.
Is used as a component.
May be bigger or smaller than a zippo lighter.
Is not functional?(not a tool).
A washer?
A valve?
[GL] Yes, mostly. It's not a tool but does normally perform a function. And container is onyl sort of.
[all] No. (The audience evolve sentience the better to appreciate the impending conclusion of the game.)
[I] No. (Impressed by this sign of the end times, the audience build a temple to Nicholas Parsons and pray for the rapture.)
A stopcock?
[I] No.
A tap?
A cistern?
[all] Not a tap.
[Kim] Not a cistern.
(The audience can hardly move for stepping on portents of the Second Coming.)
A syringe?
[Rosie] (The heavens cloud over.) No.
Used indoors?
[Rosie] Could be indoors or outdoors.
A pipe?
[Projoy] (He is the Messiah!) Yes (but not the complete answer).
A stand-pipe?
[I] Might be a standpipe or not.
Drainpipe?
[GL] No.
How many words are on the card?
lead piping?
in the study
[I] Yes.
[all] Could be, or not.
Is it for rain water?
[I] Not for rain water.

(A ghostly hand with the word "CLUE" tattooed on it points at CdM's last question.)

a heating element?
[Chalky] Not a heating element.
An ice cube maker?
"Yes" words on the card? We need to remember this #%$*@# pipe could be smaller than a zippo lighter!
Is ice involved?
Raak is playing a straight bat, he should only give Yes or No answers. So yes there are words on the card, the question should realy have been phrased "Are there more than XXX words on the card".
Personally I'm just as far away from any notion of what the answer as I was at the start.
Does it require to be operated for it to carry out its function?
(Inkspot) Traditionally it was legitimate to ask how many words on the card, and the answer could include a helpful addition such as "including the definite article".
Does one carry this object about on one's person?
test tube
...except that that's a tool...
A frozen pipe?
I thought I'd already posted this one, but it seems to have disappeared.
[INJ] I just looked, and you didn't. (Members of the audience prophesy in tongues and cast out demons.) Very nearly!
Oops, missed out all those other qns.
[Inkspot] Not an ice cube maker.
[Inkspot] (Receives similar raptures from the audience.) Yes (usually).
[Rosie,Dandalf,Projoy] (A fiery chasm opens up under your feet.) No.
A burst pipe?
[all] The seventh seal has been opened, the City of God is built on the Earth, and the elect rejoice for ever.) Yes, a burst pipe!
At ----ing last

Mineral

Manufactured?
[Rosie] Manufactured? - No
A geographical feature?
Water, in any of its forms?
Metallic?
[Irouléguy] geographical feature? - Yes
[Rosie] Water? - No - *The Audience mutter to each other*
[irach] Metallic - No
When I say no to "Water, in any of its forms?" I mean the answer isn't water, not that water isn't involved... though it might not be.
A valley of some kind?
Most valleys round here are dry. Soon they will all be.
Is there more than one of these?
[Rosie] A valley? - Of some kind, I guess
[CdM] More than one? - No
a crater?
Is it a named geographical feature?
[Projoy] A crater? - No
[Kim] Named geographical feature? - Yes, how many unnamed ones can you think of?
Cheddar Gorge?
[Rosie] Cheddar Gorge? - No.
Is it in the northern hemisphere?
Is it in the Eastern hemisphere?
[Irouléguy] Northern Hemisphere? - Yes
[Projoy] Eastern Hemisphere? - Eastern hemisphere? What the hell is the eastern hemisphere? At a guess I'd say no.
Is it in the United States?
(all) E Hemisphere is 0° to 180° East. Where I worked you could have a foot in both.
[Rosie] USA? - Yes
The Grand Canyon?
[Rosie] The Grand Canyon? - No
In a National Park?
[unnamed geographical features] Let's start with the 5 metre wooded slope on the other side of the road from my window.
Death Valley?
[InJ] National Park? - No
[Irouléguy] Death Valley - No
Deptford Creek?
[Kim] Deptford Creek? - No.
Is it east of the Mississippi?
Does it have historical significance?
[Irouléguy] East of the Mississippi? - No
[InJ] Historical significance? - I haven't been able to find any
*Is* there any water involved?
A mountain?
[GL] Involves water? - Yes - *Audience wakes up*
[Inkspot] Mountain? - No
Is it a river?
Is it North of Nashvillle?
Is it in California?
[Kim] River? - No
[Inkspot] North of Nashvillle? - Yes
[CdM] California? - Yes
A desert?
Lake Tahoe?
Salt Flats?
[Inkspot] Dessert? - No
[Irouléguy] Lake Tahoe? - YES
[InJ] Salt Flats? - No
Much of Godfather 2 is set on the shores of Lake Tahoe, IIRC, which is what made me think of it.
Feels like ages since I've had the chair - our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Is the animal part human?
Is the animal part-human?
Is it a symbolic animal?
Kim] Is the animal part human? No
Kim] Is the animal part-human? No
Raak] Is it a symbolic animal? No
Is it a for legged animal?
A pig in a poke, idiomatically
Inkspot] Is it a four legged animal? Yes
irach] A pig in a poke, idiomatically? No
A Cheshire cat?
Rosie] A Cheshire cat? *murmurs of appreciation from the audience* No
The cat that walks by itself?
The white rabbit?
Projoy] The cat that walks by itself? No
all] The white rabbit? No
A cat of some sort?
Raak] A cat of some sort? No
Is the answer some characteristic of an animal rather than the animal itself?
Is is an animal of fiction?
The laughing cow?
A part of an animal?
Rosie] Is the answer some characteristic of an animal rather than the animal itself? No
Kim] Is it an animal of fiction? No
Gusset Login] The laughing cow? No
Raak] A part of an animal? No

*the audience worries that their murmurs may have been misinterpreted*
Is it an anthropomorphism?
One Swallow?
Kim] Is it an anthropomorphism? No
Projoy] One Swallow? No
An animal found in the wild in Britain?
Dog in the manger?
irach] An animal found in the wild in Britain? *the audience prick up their ears* Part of the answer, but not the answer.
Dandalf - Dog in the manger? No
Related to a specific place?
Fox-hunting?
Raak] Related to a specific place? Not a place
Rosie - Fox-hunting? *cries of 'Tally-ho' from the audience* No
Related to a specific region?
Inkspot] Related to a specific region? Not a region
Scottish wild cat?
British Bulldog?
Dandalf] Scottish wild cat? No
Kim] British Bulldog? No

There's a clue in the phrasing of the answers to Raak and Inkspot's questions.
Related to a specific time?
The first cuckoo in Spring?
Phil] Related to a specific time? In a sense, yes, but that's not really useful Dandalf] The first cuckoo in Spring? Four legs right, two legs wrong No - see earlier answer to Inkspot
Related to a specific county?
Related to a specific country?
Related to a specific activity?
Is the animal normally considered edible?
Gusset Login] Related to a specific county? No
Gusset Login - Related to a specific country? No
Raak - Related to a specific activity? No
Rosie - Is the animal normally considered edible? *cries of "Nice one, Rosie" from the audience* Proverbially not
Fine distinctions
Perhaps that should be 'famously' rather than 'proverbially'.
The pursuit of the uneatable by the unspeakable?
*applause* Not the answer, but as a Wilde guess it's definitely on the right scent.
[showing face again after bipedal gaffe! (actually I was hopeful with that since it was so topical!)] Badger?
A crazy fox?
Dandalf] Badger? It's easy to get confused about feet - that's the advantage of the metric system *ducks* No
Projoy - A crazy fox? *applause* Some might think so...
An animal puppet?
Basil Brush?
A rabid fox?
Is "fox" one of the words on the card?
Raak] An animal puppet? No
Projoy] Basil Brush? No
Rosie] A rabid fox? No
CdM] Is "fox" one of the words on the card? *loud cheering* Yes (though strictly speaking it's 'foxes')
Any connection to Leicester?
CdM] Any connection to Leicester? By definition, yes (though that could be misunderstood).
Anything to do with a team game?
Name of a pub?
The Leicestershire Foxes?
Urban foxes?
Buy that man a drink! Yes, it's urban foxes. Over to Phil.
What, me? Wow - that felt like a bit of a lurker's victory, although I see so many semi-urban foxes on a daily basis it jumped straight into my mind. So I'll set a nice simple one for now.

ANIMAL

Basil Brush?
(it's bound to be Basil Brush sooner or later now, it's too good an idea to waste)
Human?
Alive?
[Projoy] B. Brush? Not this time
[Rosie] Human? Yes
[GL] Alive? Yes
Is it you?
[all] Me? No *applause from audience*
Is it a member of the morniverse community?
[CdM] Morniverser? No
Is it someone else called Phil?
Are they male?
Al Murray?
[Kim] Another Phil? No
[GL] Male? No
[Irouléguy] Al Murray? I like your thinking, but no
An entertainer?
A specific individual?
[Rosie] Entertainer? No
[CdM] Individual? Yes
Mrs Trellis of North Wales?
[GL] Mrs T of N. Wales? No, sadly. *audience laughs*
European?
Someone associated with the pub trade?
[Irouléguy] European? Yes
[Raak] Pub trade? No
Musician?
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