mc5 - AVMA Take 2

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AVMA Take 2

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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....

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Is he a regular in the Morniverse?

[Chalky] Hmmm...not in the news as such
[GL] Under 50? Yes
[INJ] Arts/culture? Yes
murmur from audience
[Projoy] <30 ? No
[all] sport? not any more mixture of confused "huh?" and knowledgeable "ah" from audience
[Inkspot] Musician? Yes another murmur
[Irguy] Morniverse? No

Ian Broudie?

[Projoy] Broudie? No

Nigel Kennedy?

[GL] Kennedy? No

Over 40?

Pop music or classical?

[Projoy] >40? Yes
[Dandalf] Pop or classical? Yes

Hint: Music is not how he makes his living.

Is he a politician?

[Raak] Politician? No

Does he make his living as a writer?

Is he a broadcaster?

Yes Pop, Yes Classical or Yes both?

[CdM] Writer? Sometimes
[Rosie] Broadcaster? Hmmm...is probably best known for TV work, if that's what you mean
[Dandalf] pop/classical? Probably a bit of both, but it's not really important.

Is he a celebrity cook/chef?

[Chalky] Cook/Chef? No

[Clarification for Rosie] Broadcaster - if a broadcaster is someone like David Dimbleby, Jeremy Paxman, David Frost, then the answer is No

An actor?

[GL] Actor? Yes - (applause and sighs of relief from audience)

Primarily known as a film actor?

FORGET THAT

Just seen the 'best known for TV work' - So
Primarily known for comedy?

Well known for his sci-fi work?

Hugh Laurie?

Vinnie Jones?

David Tenant?

[INJ] Comedy? Yes
[GL] SF? No
[Rosie] Hugh Laurie? YES!
[Projoy and all] VJ/DT? See above :-)

Congrats, Rosie, we await your teaser with baited breath. Meanwhile, I'd be curious to know how many people knew what Hugh Laurie's sporting background is?

Rowlocks

Well, I certainly didn't. To save other people having to look it up, HL rowed for Cambridge in the 1980 boat race.

out of tune

I didn't realise he was a musician either. Talented chap.

[mutter, fader] Hello!

I've got one if Rosie's busy.

Although it's not 1am yet, so he'll probably be on shortly :)

And here he is . . . .

(Chalky) Not a bad jazz pianist, Mr L.

And the next object is . . . ABSTRACT

A wild guess?

Climate change?

Sociolinguistics?

Gravity?

A human construct?

Or perhaps a natural phenomenon?

String theory?

Light?

(Irg) A wild guess? - Have another one.:-)
(Phil) Climate change? - No (It's snowing here in bleak upland Surrey)
(Néa) Sociolinguistics? - No
(GL) Gravity? - No
(INJ) A human construct? - No
(Chalky) A natural phenomenon? - Yes *a slight ripple of applause*
(Raak) String theory? - No, or brass either. :-)
(all) Light? - No, but *considerable applause*

A rainbow?

Relativity

Cataracts?

Weather-related?

It's been snowing here in bleak upland Farringdon too

Dark?

Does the answer on the card involve "light"?

sunlight?

(Raak) - Not a rainbow
(Projoy) - Not relativity
(Kim) - Not cataracts
(Irouléguy) Weather-related? - Can be, but no more than that
(Gusset Login) Dark? - No
(Tuj) No, but *a little applause* nevertheless
(all) No, but again *some applause*

Moonbeams?

The vernal equinox?

An Eclipse?

The dawn chorus?

Sunrise?

(Raak) Moonbeams? - No, nor polka dots, alas
(INJ) Vernal Equinox - No
(GL) Dawn chorus - No
(all) Sunrise? - No

Sundogs?

It's some bloody weather thing, isn't it? ;-)

Is the light natural (as opposed to human-generated)?

Aurora ?

Optimism?

(Raak) Sundogs? - No, not page 3 girls
(Projoy) Some weather thing? - No, that would be a bit corny. What do you take me for, sir?
(Irouléguy) Could be either ("Light" is not on the card though some would have put it there)
(irach) Not the Aurora
(Chalky) Optimism? - Regrettably yours is misplaced this time.

I'm possibly being a little particular, but everybody has heard of this and knows what it is.

Lengthening Evenings?

Scratch that, how about "starshine"?

Phosphorescence?

Is it anything to do with the passage of time?

(Projoy) Starshine? - No (or lengthening evenings)
(Raak) Phosphorescence - No, but *a slight murmur of appreciation*
(Chalky) The passage of time - No

Radiation?

photosynthesis?

A mirage?

(GL) Radiation - Yes. - Now, which sort?
(Projoy) Photosynthesis? - No
(Irouléguy) A mirage - No.

Electromagnetic Radiation?

infra-red?

Come to think of it, we seldom refer to infra-red light, so perhaps ultra-violet instead?

Step forth, the immaculately-tanned Projoy! ULTRAVIOLET it is. Ironically there's an article about the current tanning fad in today's Grauniad.

Hmmm...

This one might be very easy indeed or a bit of a bastard. It's NOT ANIMAL, VEGETABLE NOR MINERAL and although it is ABSTRACT in one way it's also a real thing.

Gravity?

A tan?

[Raak] gravity, no
[Rosie] a tan, no

That thing called love?

Fiction?

The speed of light?

[all] Luurrve, nope
[GL] Fiction, nope
[Ig] the speed of light, nope

Atmosphere?

Is it just one thing?

[GL] Atmos, no. [Ig] One thing, yes.

Sexual orientation?

How well you know me, dear Raak, but no, it's not that.

Is it s human construct?

Is it q human construct?

[Kim, all] It is neither, nor is it, for the sake of brevity a human construct, or even an human construct.

Can it be seen?

Is it weather related?

Electricity?

Is it a form of sound?

Is it any form of natural disaster?

[Raak] Can it be seen? No
[GL] Weather related... not really, only in the most unhelpful tangential way
[all] Electricity - no
[Raak] Form of sound - no
[Rosie] Natural disaster - debatable, but you could say yes

(Incidentally there have been a couple of answers so far where I perhaps should have used the studio audience, but thought it would make it much too easy. I'll bring them back if it seems like it's too hard)

Global warming?

[Raak] Global warming - Nope.

[Raak] I should perhaps add that a flat "no" to "Can it be seen?" is perhaps a teeny bit misleading. There are some rather specialised senses in which it can be seen, although most people would say that it can't.

Actually, after further thought, I should think even the specialists, when pressed, would say that it can't be seen.

An epidemic?

A soul?

[Rosie] Not an epidemic
[Phil] Not a soul (and my I be damned for all eternity if I ever claim without caveat that such a thing exists!)

A past event?

[Ig] Past event, yes and no. :)

The Big Bang?

[CdM] The Big Bang, no. *murmurs of interest in the audience, who are now back from their tea break*

The Begining?

[all] The beginning, nope.

Any connection with astronomy or cosmology?

The soul? It's a metaphor. Your eternal damnation is on hold :-)

Evolution?

[Rosie] connected with astronomy/cosmology, YES *applause*
[Ig] Evolution, no.

An orbit?

[Raak] An orbit, no. *sound of several members of audience leaning forward at the same time*

Black Hole?

The Universe?

[Phil] Black Hole, YES
[Kim] The Universe? Only the bent parts of it :)

Yikes - two wins now! I think it was the "can it be seen" explanation that triggered the realisation. Anyway, here goes for a new one.

Mineral - with an animal reference

Is it bigger than a toaster?

Cat's-eye (Chrysoberyl)?

A cat-flap?

Pot-shot from 50 yds hoping the goalie's asleep.

[Projoy] Bigger than toaster, Yes
[irach] Chrysoberyl, no
[Rosie] Cat-flap, no

Is it bigger than a tank? A WW2 one, that is.

Is it metal?

A fish-eye lens?

Is there just one of it?

[Projoy] Bigger than tank, yes
[GL] metal, no
[Kim] fish-eye lens, no
[Raak] Just one, yes

The Dog Star?

The Horsehead Nebula?

[Projoy] Dog star, no
[GL] Horsehead nebula, no

Is this a sea or ocean?

[Chalky] Sea or ocean, no

A sculpture?

[Chalky] Sculpture, no

Man-made?

[Néa] Man-made, no

A geographical feature?

Pluto?

An astronomical feature?

[Raak] Geog. feature, yes - smallish ripple of applause from audience
[Kim] Pluto, no
[GL] Astronomical, no

A mountain?

Is the animal connection figurative, eg The Old Man of Hoy?

The Cerne Abbas Giant?

Is the animal reference human?

[Projoy] mountain, no - applause from audience
[Rosie] Figurative animal connection, yes - considerable applause from audience
[GL] Cerne Abbas Giant, no
[irach] human reference, yes

Is it in Britain?

[GL] in Britain, yes

Is the human reference a name?

[CdM] Name, yes - applause

The Old Man of Hoy?

Forget that, not really a person's name. How about Arthur's Seat?

[Raak] Hoy, no
[Raak - take 2] YES Didn't think that would go so fast.

V. bsy atm so may only lk in cpl times a day.
M I N E R A L with V E G E T A B L E connections

Bonsai Mountain?

[GL] Molehill? No.

Natural feature?

You nicked my "intellectual property", y' bastard. You'll be hearing from Messrs. Sue, Grabbit and Runne. :-)

[Rosie] Not natural.

A mostly metallic object?

[Rosie] Mostly metallic? Tricky. By weight, yes, by volume, no.

Is it one single object?

[I] Single object? No (in the sense that there are many of these).

Can this be consumed?

[Chalky] Cannot be consumed.

It is bigger than a 'phone box?

Is the vegetable part alive?

[Kim] Not bigger than a phone box.
[GL] Not alive.

Is the vegetable wood?

Is the metallic part a sort of framework?

Is it bigger than a breadbox?

[I] (slight murmurings from the audience) No.
[R] No.
[GL] Usually.

Is the vegatable paper?

[Kim] Yes! applause

Is it something to do with money?

[I] Nothing to do with money.

Is it a decoration?

[Rosie] Not a decoration.

A filing cabinet (full)?

An Underground Map?

[Dandalf] No.
[Phil] No, not much metal in one of those.

I was thinking of the sort on display on a tube station, but was wrong anyway.

Is the paper for writing on?

[Rosie] (a ripple of interest) Er, yes and no. (the audience appreciates the questionmaster's Solomonic wisdom)

Is the paper for printing on?

[Kim] Er, yes and no. (the audience responds in the same way)

Is the mineral the bit that does the printing/writing?

Is the paper actually part of the object on the card or is it used in connection with the object?

[Dandalf] In connection with. Vegetable connections, remember.

Please may I have a reply to my last question?

A pen?

A fax machine?

[Chalky] No.
[Chalky] Yes.
[GL] no.
[R] No (but the audience have woken up again).

Toner?

Photocopier?

[GL] No.
[all] No. (the audience eagerly anticipate the final chase)

Laser Printer?

Typewriter?

[GL] No.
[Dandalf] No.

A Printing Press?

[Phil] No.

Stereotype?

A scanner?

[Projoy] No.
[Rosie] No.

Polaroid camera?

Invisible Ink?

Shurely not a Gestetner?

A dot-matrix printer?

Mimeograph?

(although in that case, Rosie already got it. All hail Corflu!)

A shredder?

[all] No.
[Chalky] No.
[Rosie] No.
[I] No.
[Néa] No.
[Phil] YES. A paper shredder.

Well, I seem to be getting rather fluky at these lately. OK, I'll try and think up one that could have no ambiguous answers - or could it?

Vegetable

Edible, in the normal sense?

Alive?

[Rosie] Edible? Yes
[GL] Alive? No

Processed?

Is it normally eaten raw?

Bigger than a breadboard?

A carrot?

A nut?

A bread roll?

[Dandalf] Processed? Yes
[Kim] Raw? No
[GL] >Breadboard? No
[Néa] Carrot? No
[Inkspot] Nut? No
[all] Bread Roll? A careful No - enthusiastic applause

Is bread involved in some way?

A loaf of bread?

A bagel?

[all] bread? yes - more applause
[GL] Loaf of bread? No

Breadcrumbs?

A gingerbread house?

Toast?

A slice of bread?

A Sandwich?

[Tuj] breadcrumb? No
[GL] Gingerbread house? No
[Kim] Toast? No
[all] Slice of bread? Another careful No
[GL] Sandwich? No
Audience starts to doubt that the players will pin this down with wild guesses

I have to go out in an hour or so, but should be back for 9:30pm (GMT)

Was my bagel mouldy?

What is the meaning of life?

Bread and Butter Pudding?

[Raak] Mouldy Bagel? Don't know
[all] Meaning of life? Not sure, but I know the ultimate answer.
[GL] B&B Pud? No

Is it a particular variety of bread?

Is the bread associated with a particular culture?

[Raak] Particular variety? Yes - Audience spontaneously combusts with excitement
[Inkspot] Particular culture? Yes - Audience reaches critical mass

Does this culturally significant variety of bread contain NO *animal* substances?

[Chalky] No animal substances? Hmmm...I'll have to find out...ok, there may be an animal substance, but I have found recipes that exclude it. Apologies to anyone who may have assumed there was no animal involved whatsoever.

Unleavened bread?

Bruschetta?

Pita?

Bara brith?

Ciabatta?

Naan bread?

[all] Unleavened? No
[irach] Bruschetta/pita? No
[Rosie] Bara brith? No, but I can see the logic :-)
[Chalky] Ciabatta? No
[GL] Naan bread? YES
Again, sorry about forgetting the animal content, but well done, Gusset Login!

Gosh I finally got one right.

Animal

Human?

[Kim] Yes

Living?

[Chalky] Living? No

Died in the last 100 years?

A religious figure?

[Projoy] Died since 1906? Yes
[Raak] Religious figure? No

Born in the C20th?

Female?

[Projoy] Born between 1901 and 2000? No
[CdM] Female? No

A scientific figure?

[Irouléguy] Scientific figure? No

Died before 1930?

A performer, of any kind?

[all] Dead by 1930? No
[Rosie] Performer? No

Is he to be found on imdb.com?

Politician?

[Phil] imdb.com? No
[irach] Politician? No

Writer?

European?

[Dandalf] Writer? No.
[Irouléguy] European? Yes.

A sportsman?

Artist?

Any military connections?

Royalty?

[Phil] Sportsman? No
[Dandalf] Artist? No, but he has artistic connections - Audience mummers approval
[Irouléguy] Military? No
[irach] Royal? No

Designer?

Is music a connection?

Film maker?

[Phil] Designer? Yes
[carew] Music connection? No. (But he probably listened to it and I think was mentioned in a song once)
[irach] Film maker? Still no, stop asking

In the world of fashion?

Architect?

[Raak] Fashion? No
[CdM] Architect? Yes - Applause from the audience

Le Corbusier?

[Raak] Le Corbusier? No

Sir Christopher Wren?

[Phil] Wren? No

Summary so far: Human, Male, Architect, Died between 1906 and 2006, born prior to 1901, European, not a film maker.

Correction: Died between 1930 and 2006

Died before 1960?

[Phil] Died before 1960? No

Spanish?

[Raak] Spanish? No

Mies van der Rohe?

Bauhaus school?

[Irouléguy] Mies van der Rohe? No
[Raak] Bauhaus school? Yes - Much applause

Ernst May?

Forget that (sketchy research). Was it Gropius?

[Projoy] Ernst May? No
[Projoy] Walter Gropius? YES

I'd hoped that would take longer to guess, well done Projoy

Rats - I was trying to eliminate Gropius, but mis-read the date. Congrats, Projoy.

Oh damn. Sorry, haven't looked in much today - wasn't expecting to get that one. ** sounds of thinkage **

MINERAL

Man made?

Begins with a P?

Eiffel Tower?

A mechanical device?

Fifth letter is a W?

Three words?

Valuable?

Is there only one of these?

A Bungalow?

Salt?

[GL] man-made, NO
[Tuj] "P...", NO
[irach] Eyeful Tower, NO
[Rosie] Mechanical, NO
[CdM] Fifth letter a "W", NO *titters from audience*
[Ig] Three Words, Depends how articulate you are
[Dandalf] Valuable, NO (subjectively)
[Kim] Only one of these, YES
[Botherer] Bungalow, NO
[all] Salt, NO *the gentlest murmur of interest from just a few members of the audience, as if a light breeze had blown over a doormat*

Ice?

A natural object?

[Raak] Ice, NO.
[Ink] Natural object, YES

The sea?

(more answers this evening, as I'm away from internet this arvo)

[GL] The Sea, NO *some applause*

A body of water?

Is it an ocean?

OK, now I'm *really* going until this evening.

[Ig] body of water, NO
[GL] an ocean, NO

*(but some scattered applause at ocean)*

The White Cliffs of Dover?

The English Channel?

Something on the edge of an ocean?

An island?

Sand?

Coastal wetlands?

The Gulf Stream?

[all] White cliffs, NO
[Ink] Island, NO * a little laughter *
[irach] sand, NO
[Rosie] costal wetlands, NO
[Ig] Gulf Stream, NO *two members of the audience start paying attention again*

Mariana Trench?

Something on the edge of an ocean?

[GL] edge of the ocean, NO, but
[Dandalf] Wow! Excellent bit of intuition. It was indeed the Mariana Trench.

The renewed interest when gulf stream was mentioned somehow triggerred off Mariana Trench. So Ig deserves a share of the Wow! And now for something completely different.....ANIMAL

Michael Palin?

Human?

Alive?

Male?

Mythical?

Palin - NO
Human - YES
Alive - YES
Male - YES
Mythical - NO

Involved with the arts?

European?

Born before 10th March 1976?

Welsh Rugby player?

Arts? NO
European? YES (A slight murmur from the audience)
pre 10/3/76?
Welsh Rugby player? NO

Scientist?

British?

You didn't answer GL's question, by the way. Thanks for the share of the 'wow' - nearest I've come in this game for some time.

Sportsman?

Wayne Rooney?

GL sorry Born pre 10/3/76? YES
Scientist? NO
British? YES
SPORTSMAN? NO
WR NO

Sorry about the poor formatting.

Of a non-European ethnic origin?

(for a value of "ethnic" that might extend to his great-grandparents, say)

Born before 10 March 1956?

[Projoy] non-European ethnic? YES *ripples of applause as audience sits up*
[GL] pre-10/3/56? NO

Paul Boateng?

Appears on TV regularly?

Musician?

[Raak] Boateng? NO
[Projoy] YES *round of applause from audience*

[Inkspot] Musician? NO

Lenny Henry?

[Rosie] LH? NO ripple of applause

A comedian?

Ainsley Harriet

[PJ] Comedian/ -hmmmm
[Phil] Ainsley? Ready, Steady.... YES! Well done and sorry for delay!

I wish I could explain how the name popped into my head - I think it was the "always on tv" aspect with a round of applause. OK, time to think of another.

Vegetable with some Mineral

Ripple of applause for Lenny Henry, might have done it subconsciously, as LH had the title role in CHEF.

Salted peanuts?

Wood that's beginning to petrify?

A club with a nail in it?

Veneered Chipboard?

A household artefact?

A lemon with a sub-machine gun?

Crunchy Nut Cornflakes?

A drink?

Is it edible?

Is it bigger than a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes?

Whisky and soda?

A wet towel?

A leek?

[Raak] Peanuts? No
[irach] part-petrified wood? No
[GL] Nailed club? No
[Projoy] veneered chipboard? No
[INJ] household artefact? No
[all] armed lemon? No
[Chalky] CN Cornflakes? No
[Inkspot] A drink? No
[Irouléguy] Edible? No
[Kim] Bigger than box of cornflakes? No
- Audience feels we may be getting somewhere at last
[Raak] W&S? No
[Dandalf] Wet towel? No
[Rosie] Leek? No
- Audience loses optimism

cardboard?

Does it have anything written on it?

Bigger t han a coffee mug?

A container of some sort?

A bowl of cornflakes?

A bowl of cornflakes?

Oops sorry - doubleposted!

Is it made of wood?

Is it designed to contain something?

[Chalky] Cardboard? No
[Projoy] Text thereon? Yes
[GL] Container? No
[Dandalf] Bowl of cornflakes? Nay, and twice nay :-)
[all] Made of wood? No
- Some audience members mutter to each other
[Projoy] Designed to contain something? No

A form of some kind?

I say, Bigger than a coffee mug?

Designed to be written on?

[Raak] Apologies - Bigger than a coffee mug? No
- Audience becomes interested again

[Rosie] A form? No
[INJ] To be written on? No

Made of bamboo?

[Raak] Bamboo? No

Clarification: When I said "it has things written on it", to be utterly precise the word "printed" would be better than "written".

Is it bigger than a box of matches?

A postage stamp?

A coffee mug?

A £10 note?

[Kim] Bigger than a box of matches? In terms of volume, using a Bryant & May matchbox (37x55x17mm). No, but it's a close run thing.
- Audience finds this fascinating, but they are a little nerdy
[Chalky] Postage stamp? No
[all] Mug? No
[Chalky] £10 note? No

Long and thin?

[Projoy] Long & thin? No

Is it made of cotton?

A reel of thread?

[Chalky] Cotton? No
[Raak] Reel of thread? No

Is it made of paper?

[CHalky] Made of paper? No

Audience eagerly awaits Projoy or Kim's next question

A calling card?

A Champagne Cork?

[Inkspot] Calling card? No
[Chalky] Champagne cork? No

A beermat?

Can I confirm that it's not made from wood, cardboard, paper, cotton or cork?

Does it play a part in the preparation of food?

Is it normally hand made?

Is the vegetable part alive?

Is it flat?

[CdM] Beermat? No
[Chalky] Not wood, cardboard, paper, cotton, cork? Correct
[Kim] Food prep? No
[Inkspot] Handmade? No
[GL] Live veg? No
[CdM] Flat? No

Is the mineral part a candle?

A potato print?

[all] Candle? No
[GL] Potato print? No

Is it made from a fruit?

A tin of tobacco?

Is it made of rubber?

[Inkspot] Made of fruit? No
[Rosie] Tin o'baccy? No
[Raak] Made of rubber? YES
- Rapturous applause from audience

The wheel of a Tonka Toy?

[Projoy] Tonka wheel? Alas, no.

Unfortunately, I have to work for the next few hours, but should be able to pop back in a couple of times over the course of the evening.

Squash ball?

A packet of three?

[Dandalf] Squash Ball? YES
[Raak] 12-months supply for a married man? Unfortunately, no.
Congrats to Dandalf!
At last I can share the trivia that the volume of a squash ball is only 3% less than that of a standard box of matches, as its diameter is 40mm, giving a volume of 33510 cubic mm, compared with 34595 cubic mm.

[Phil] Thanks. I actually worked out the volume before guessing! Now I have to think of something else..... what about ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections

A fictional character?

David Attenborough's 'Planet Earth'?

Is the animal connection human?

[Inkspot] Fictional character? NO
[Iroulegey] Planet Earth? NO
[INJ] Human? YES

A character of legend?

Is the animal connection a particular human?

Any artistic connection?

[Kim} Legend? NO
[CdM] Particular human? NO
[INJ] Artistic connection? NO

God?

Is the human connection a particular nationality?

Is it a bird?

Is it a persons title?

Forget last one, put it down to lack of tea and bicuits

Law?

Is it a collective title?

Is it a category of person?

[Phil] God? God, NO
[Irouleguy]Particular nationality? No (murmurings from the audience)
[Inkspot] bird? NO (happily munching on choc digestive while sipping a cup of Earl Grey :) )
[Raak] Law? NO
[GL]collective title? In the sense that it covers a number of items, YES
[KIM]person category? NO

A human construct?

(welcome return of an old favourite)

A golem?

[INJ] H.C.? YES ( I think!)
[all] Golem? NO

[INJ] H.C.? YES ( I think!)
[all] Golem? NO

Oh No not again! sorry

Does it have something to do with nationalities?

[Raak] Nationalities? YES,partly.

Does it have something to do with a geographical region comprising several counties?

[Kim] YES, but not geographical.
- Audience suddenly wakes up and applauds loudly

A trading cartel of countries?

County Cricket?

Are we talking about counties, not countries?

Typo alert.

(Trying to summarize) Is it a name given to a group of geographically dispersed people with something in common?

[Inkspot] Trading cartel? NO
[Projoy] County cricket? NO
[Rosie] counties/countries? The one with the R.
[CdM] Such a name is one of the words on the card! Loud applause!

Refugees?

A politiocal grouping (in a wide sense - as opposed to say economic)?

Communism?

A racial grouping?

[Inkspot] Refugees? NO
[INJ] Political grouping? YES but that's not the full answer (Applause)
[GL] Communism? NO (some chuckles from audience)
[CdM] Racial grouping? NO

Is it NATO?

Was it created by a treaty?

neo-fascists?

Is it a formal organization?

[Kim] NATO? NO
[Raak] Created by Treaty? NO, but by the ~~~~~~~ Declaration
[IN]neo-fascists? NO
[CdM] Formal organisation? YES

The State/Citizens of Israel

Associated with the UN?

Balfour?

[Projoy] Israel? NO
[INJ] UN? NO
[Raak] The Balfour Declaration? YES (wild applause) but still some way to go.

The Zionist Federation?

unlikely but you never know

Hamas?

[all] Zionist Fed? NO
Hamas? NO
CLARIFICATION: I've just found out that there are two distinct Balfour declarations, one dated 1917 and the other 1926. It is to the latter that I referred in replying to Raak. Get googling!

The British Commonwealth?

[all] B. Commonwealth? YES - but still not the answer on the card.

The Commonwealth Games?

[GL] Commonwealth Games YES Well Done!

Huzzah! Thank you all for the help

I will seek inspiration from the random function of wikipedia

Animal

Human?

Human? - Yes

Alive?

Alive? - Yes

Male?

European?

Sportsman/sportswoman

SPORTSMAN

Currently in the news?

Political figure?

Male? - Yes
European? - No
Sportsman/sportswoman SPORTSMAN? - No
In the news? - Not that I've noticed
Political? - Yes

Middle Eastern?

Is he now retired from the office/position for which he is most famous?

Merkin?

Middle Eastern? - No
Retired? - Yes
American? - No

Butros Butros Ghali?

Butros*2 Ghali? - No

African?

African? - No

Chinese?

Australian?

Asian?

Chinese? - No
Australian? - Yes *Applause*
Asian? - No

John Howard?

John Howard? - No

Summary: A living male Australian politician who has retired.

Bob Hawke?

Bob Hawke? - No

Bryan Gould?

Gough Whitlam?

Must be getting on a bit.

Bryan Gould? - No
Gough Whitlam? - No - but The audience is looking interested (As they did at the mention of Bob Hawke)

Richard Alson?

sorry - make that 'ALSTON'

Richard Alston? - No

Malcolm Fraser?

Malcolm Fraser? - Yes

There weren't many more left to try! OK here goes - VEGETABLE

Living?

Edible?

Bigger than a pumpkin?

Living? YES
Edible? YES
Bigger than pumpkin? NO

Is it normally cooked before being eaten?

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