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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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That's the next version of this game by the way - excuses for playing MC at stupid times.
Inkspot - An edge binder? No. Tuj - Staples? No. You're getting closer though!
Split pins
Ooh, they're fantastic!
Tuj - Split pins? No. Maybe fasten is the wrong word..
Dash and Bothereration
I really should read these things, shouldn't I?
Sellotape?
String?
Pritt stick?
A hole punch?
(I suspect Rosie or Inkspot may be right.)
Post-It notes?
A paper clip?
Twine?
Raak] Paper clips were ruled out some time back.
A key ring?
Rosie - Sellotape?No. Irouleguy - String?No. Inksopt - Pritt stick?No. Darren - A hole punch?No. (I suspect Rosie or Inkspot may be right.) Darren - Post-It notes?No. Raak - A paper clip?No. Irouleguy - Twine?No. Raak - A key ring?No. You're getting warmer! (Back a bit..near the start)
elastic band?
have we had that yet? haven't got time to do caps or look back
A key safe?
A (two- or three-) ring binder?
Maybe you should try narrowing it down descriptively again..
Chalky - elastic band?No. Raak - A key safe?No. CdM A (two- or three-) ring binder?No.
Is it made of plastic?
Is it small enough to put in your pocket?
Is it part liquid?
Rosie - Is it made of plastic? Didn't you ask this already? As it happens, I don't know exactly what it's made of, but I think of plastic as hard, so no. Raak - Is it small enough to put in your pocket? Yes. Inkspot - Is it part liquid? No.
Is it Blu-tak?
A fridge magnet?
A summary of the yesses so far:
  • there's more than one
  • can be bought in packets
  • of a man-made subsstance
  • for use in an office
  • can be used on its own (but usually with something else)
  • to do with fastening things to each other
  • can be bought in a stationers'
  • small enough to put in a pocket
Outstanding questions: is it Blu-tak (Botherer), or a fridge magnet (Raak)?
Botherer - Is it Blu-tak? YESYESYESYESYES!
I can't believe it took so long. I even put a hint in the limerick game!
Handing the torchy thing to Raak
ah sorry, I meant to Bothererererer, of course.
steals torch from Raak to give to Bothererererer
The trouble is...
I can't access this site from work (websense thinks it's a game!) and will be limited to late night visits for the next few days, so it would be unfair for me to hold the torch... I nominate the first person who gives a damn...
Not me - I had a go recently.
Congrats Botherer. I'll give a "Damn!"
Alright if you want someone else to do it, I'm game

Abstract and Mineral

The salt of the earth?
[Raak] No.
Is it fictional place from a book or film?
Is it supposed or alledged to have magical, mystical, supernatural or way-out-there sci-fi powers of any sort?
[Inkspot] Yes, technically, but may not be best known for being in a book or film.
[sadie] Yes (depending on your definition of "way-out-there")
A mythological place associated with a particular culture eg Valhalla?
Is it from a radio series?
[Inkspot] No.
[sadie] no
Is it somebody's home?
Is the fictional setting on Earth?
Kryptonite?
[sadie] People live there for extended periods, if that's what you mean.
[Iroulguy] No.
[CdM] No.
Is it a place Dr Who?
Babylon 5?
following up from inkspot ... the Tardis?
Is it a spaceship?
Za'Ha'Dum?
The USS Enterprise?
Red Dwarf?
Just doing a bit of spaceship carpeting there.
[Inkspot] No, (but I guess it would be kinda fun - anyone for fan fiction?)
[Irouleguy] No.
[CdM] No
[sadie] Yes
[Raak] No.
[Darren] Close. But I need more than that
[Darren] No
[Darren] I've been convinced that you were close enough. (Enterprise NX01, from Enterprise) So please take the helm.
The Enterprise NC-1701-D?
agh! simulposted.. But I had the wrong one, anyway.. ;(
Thanks Gusset Login, and thanks to the mysterious person who convinced you.

The new one is Animal.

Hamster?
p optional.
Quadruped?
Alive?
human?
One particular animal or a species?
bovine?
legless?
Are they dangerous?
[Tuj] No. [Botherer] No. [Rosie] No. [Raak] Yes. [Irouleguy] Yes. [Inkspot] No. [Chalky] No. [Gusset Login] Almost certainly not, but then again it might depend who you ask!
Male?
George Dubya Bush?
[Inkspot] Yes. [snorgle] No. Anyway, he's still alive!
One particular human being?
[irouleguy and darren] I love questions that are either/or being answered with yes/no. example from this morning being: nights - do you want tea or coffee mate? housemate - yes.
Did he die in the last 50 years?
Did he die when he was older than 50?
[Chalky] Yes. [Raak] Yes. [Gusset Login] Yes.
Was he an actor?
Willie Rushdon?
[Inkspot] Yes. [Gusset Login] No.
British?
[Nights] I once answered an either/or chemistry question with Yes, because I thought both applied! My teacher wasn't too impressed, though. Maybe your housemate just wanted a hot drink, and didn't care what.
American?
nights] How come you don't know what your housemate drinks?
Did he die in the last 5 years?
[nights] Why would he drink Coffee Mate?
Did he win an Oscar?
[snorgle] Yes. [Irouleguy] No. [Gusset Login] No. [Inkspot] No.
Did he die more than 25 years ago?
[Gusset Login] No.
Peter Sellers?
I would just like to mention that I posted that before checking the clerihew game...
Did he appear in any of the "Carry on" films?
[CdM] No. [Inkspot] No, but he did have a connection to them.
Frankie Howerd?
Tony Hancock
Was he chiefly a comic actor?
[Raak] No (and Frankie Howerd was in at least two Carry On films, so I think we've already ruled him out). [Inkspot] No. [Rosie] Yes.
Was his fame mainly through film roles, rather than tv or radio?
[Inkspot] For most people he's best known from TV/radio.
Did he die this century?
Morbid stuff.
Benny Hill?
[snorgle] good point, although more likely he just wanted to get up my nose at 07h15 [irouleguy] cos he keeps changing his damn mind [gusset login] excuse me for having south london lexical usage patterns... [darren] sorry I'll stop this and shut the hell up now.
Kenneth Horne?
Spike Milligan?
[Tuj] If you mean in the 21st century, then no. 20th, yes. [Raak] No. [Botherer] No. [Irouleguy] No.
Derek Nimmo?
John Le Mesurier?
[Raak] No. [CdM] Yes! CORRECT!

So, with that remarkable insight, CdM takes the chair for the next round.

PS. For those who aren't aware of John Le Mesurier's connection to the "Carry On" films, he was married to Hattie Jacques (well, until their divorce).
[Darren] Yes, it was the connection to the Carry On films that was the clue that got it for me -- though I was sure I was right with Peter Sellers before, when I posted and then saw you had started a clerihew with him.

Much as I would like to start running with the flaming chair (I even have an idea in mind), I think I must decline for the moment. I am not going to be online much longer today (seeing as how it's already evening here in Singapore), and I am spending the weekend in Khao Lak, far from the internets. Perhaps I can sneak in later sometime. In the meantime, anybody else want a go?
ooh ooh can I?
Go for it!
Expose our utter ignorance of youth culture
[nights] Yeah, if you've got an idea, go ahead.
[nights] please do
very well. our topic is a mineral. I think.
Is it a single object?
Is it man made?
Is it a hosuehold item?
Darren] Am I really likely to be half a decade out in my time-reckoning? That's a fair chunk of anyone's life.
Is there more than one of it?
[Tuj] I wasn't sure why you'd say "was it this century?" when "was it within the last five years?" would have been more to the point! I was just hedging my bets.
Is it a household item?
No hosuehold, that's quite unlikely really. Darren] Fair enough. All is forgiven ;]
answers
[raak] no, [inkspot] yes, [tuj] not exactly, [darren] yes. [tuj] that's the same question again you berk.
What do you mean "I think"?
Is it a dwelling?
[Irouleguy] Yes/no questions only!
Is it found in all societies?
Darren] We can have either/or as well, can't we? (not that mine was)
CD?
nights] Whoa! Steady on! I think you'll find the first contains a typo, as referred to in the corrected second.
[tuj] oh yes, silly me. you can put that down to the fact that 14h08 is a little early for a sunday. and no, not a CD.
[irouleguy] I've been thinking and it IS. sure of it now. and yes, all western societies at least, AFAIK.
[darren] no.
Does it have a connection with religion?
Is it big enough to get inside?
Is it made of metal?
Is it related to jewellery?
Telephone box?
Is it machine-made?
Smaller than a toaster?
answers
[inkspot] not as far as I'm aware.
[darren] yes.
[gusset login] no.
[raak] no.
[all] no.
[irouleguy] yes, probably.
[tuj] yes.
this is remarkably entertaining!
Is it part of a bigger thing?
Smaller than a toaster but big enough to get inside...?
Part of the engine from the Heart of Gold's infinite improbability drive
Is it some sort of container?
Does it have moving parts?
Is it bigger than a slice of toast?
Is it a vehicle?
Does it include a means of storing digital information?
Changing tack somewhat.
answers
[tuj] no. and I think I should have made myself a little clearer. I assumed that 'big enough to get inside' meant 'inside my house', as in 'not outside'. I now see that you or whoever meant 'so big I can fit inside this thing', which you certainly cannot. erk.
[inkspot] pardon me? no.
[raak] no.
[insport again] no.
[gusset login] yes.
[darren] no.
[darren again] no.
are we having fun yet?
Would it be found in offices?
Is it something that can be attributed to a particular inventor?
Does it have a practical use?
Do people usually refer to it in the singular?
answers
[raak] not usually, it's not associated with them.
[inkspot] not as far as I know.
[darren] definitely.
[juxtapose] no.
Scales (for weighing)?
Is it made of stone?
Is it a mirror?
answers
No to all three. Sorry.
Is it made of a ceramic material?
Compact discs?
answers
no and no.
Is it made of plastic?
Is it a pair of something?
Would I be most likely to find one in the kitchen?
Would you find it in the bedroom?
Is it a brick?
can you do a summary?
this one seems to have been hanging around for bloomin' ages!
Would you hang stuff off it?
Summary
They are: mineral, man-made, multiple objects, found in all Western societies (as far as nights knows...), machine-made, smaller than a toaster, bigger than a slice of toast, something that has a practical use, referred to in the plural.

They're not: a household item ('not exactly' was the actual answer), a CD, connected to religion, made of metal, related to jewellery, a phone box, a container, anything with moving parts, a car, a means of storing digital information, usually associated with offices, something that can be attributed to a particular inventor, scales, made of stone, mirrors, made of ceramic material.

The six questions immediately above are pending.

Are they something you mainly use outdoors?
Are they something that you use up by using them?
answers
[raak] yes. (murmurs from audience)
[inkspot] yes. (more murmurs from the audience)
[tuj] no.
[darren] no.
[all] no.
[darren again] no.
[irouleguy] thanks for the summary, that's all correct so I haven't contradicted myself which is always a bonus.
your answers are yes (which further woke up the audience) and no in that order.
Shears?
Wellies?
Although those are more likely rubber rather than plastic.
Sunglasses?
Flip-flops [plastic beach shoe thingies]?
I thought sunglasses - but they have moving parts
answers
[inkspot] no.
[raak] no.
[darren] no.
[chalky] as for your guess, it's...

RIIIIIIGHT!!!

I was beginning to think no-one would get it. the flip flops in question actually serve as slippers for me, as I like my feet to get lots of air, but our carpets are a little suspect. so I hand the baton on to Chalky...
surprised
er ... thanks nights :-)

And now for:

A N I M A L / A B S T R A C T

A character in a novel?
Scooby-Doo?
Living?
Is it a mythological being?
Male?
irouleguy] No
CdM] No :-)
Tuj] Abstract - so difficult to know, really :-)
Darren] No
nights] maybe, maybe not
Would this have anything to do with painting?
Is it from a nursery rhyme?
Long shot because I can't be bothered to think at this time of night - is it the Cheshire Cat?
Fictional?
Does it appear in one specific culture?
Is this a type of creature, rather than a specific (abstract) animal?
sorry about delay - weekends are difficult
Dujon] No
Inks] No
Rosie] No
Raak] No
nights] Yes
Darren] depends what you mean by 'creature' - but I would say No - if I understand your question correctly

.. and going back to Tuj's earlier question, ie. "Living?" - [to clarify] There is a possibility.

Is there a religious connection?
Loch Ness Monster?
Is it some sort of symbol?
Irouleguy] No
Darren] No
Tuj] No ... but I had to ponder a bit before I replied :-)
Is it a reptile?
Raak] No
Is this a depiction of a human form?
Does it have any nationalistic connotations?
Dujon] to cut to the chase - it IS human. I'm amazed no-one has asked yet.
Rosie] No. [good question]
Royalty?
The aristocracy?
Raak] No
Irouleguy] No
Does its image appear on coins or notes?
The one culture it's specific to - is it Western?
Raak] No
Irouleguy] Yes
American?
all] No
European?
British?
Darren] Yes
nights] Very much so!

So after all that kerfuffle, we've established that it's human and very British.

Biggles?
Is it a leader?
King Arthur?
Is it a particular person?
GL] No
Darren] No & No
Raak] Not A particular person ...
Is it Dr Who?
Is it a role that has been filled by various people?
Darren] No
Raak] It isn't a role, as such. But 'various people' wakes the audience up.
The House of Commons?
The Prime Minister?
Is it a collection of people? - (e.g. a choir or a rugby team)
Raak] No
Darren] No
Dujon] YES!
Do they appear on television?
Raak] No, I don't believe they did.

that was a clue

Does (or did - after looking at your last answer), this group of people have a common interest in music?
Duj] They had a common interest in something - music was a by-product
Did they appear (as much as one can) on radio?
Is it a fictional group of people?
Darren] Indeed they did!
Rosie] We've done the fiction question already, dear :-) No.
Did they appear on radio?
The Goons?
Raak] YESYESYESYES [see above]
CdM] No.
Have they appeared on radio in the last few years (excluding reruns and archive broadcasts)?
Raak I don't think so - they were very much 'of the time'
Was the time they were of in the 1960's?
ISIRTA?
GL] No
Raak] Whatever that is - it isn't that.
Are you old enough to have heard the original broadcasts?
Round the Horne, dear?
Is the answer of the form: "the cast of such-and-such a show"?
Raak] 'fraid not - and I suspect, neither were you :-)
nights] No, poppet
CdM] No

Clue: Inkspot's early question, if asked at this stage in the game, might receive a ripple of applause from the audience.

Were they on 'ITMA'?
Were they on any wartime radio programme, darling?
Was it meant for children?
Surely it can't be The Grove Family , m'dear?
Irouleguy] er .. wassat then?
Darren] Yes, sweetie - my mother tells me they were.
Inks] Oh yes. Loud applause.
Rosie] No :-)

I'm thinking this may be rather obscure.

Listen with mother?
Toytown?
The Ovaltineys?
Children's Hour?
all] No
Raak] No
Inks] No

.. as for CdM - once again, the Maestro strikes!
Well played . Hope you've time to stick around and set one :-)

I know about The Ovalteenies [- tineys?] through my mum, who was one of those 'heppay gels an' boys'. Apparently, if you sent away lid labels from Ovaltine, you received a bronze coloured badge. In my mind, I'd always sort of connected that song with WWII, but mother says it started before the war - in the 1930s, and had absolutely NO connection. She can be a bit fierce like that. I believed her - so didn't bother googling. Apologies if I therefore answered anything wrong.

Chalky] Well done - seriously obscure. ITMA's the ancestor of all radio comedy. Check out the cast list. "It's that man again"
I'd congratulate you on a job well done Chalky, but only if you call me 'poppet' again...
Getting in a quick comment before CdM surfaces
ITMA] I don't recall hearing the show, but I wouldn't be surprised if we listened to it. My father had a good sense of humour - he loved the Goons too. I do remember watching a movie ITMA not so many years ago and recall Tommy Handley reminding me constantly of Richard Briers. I'm not sure whether it was facial features, his voice or mannerisms.
[Chalky] Good one, my dear, although I don't recall the Ovalteenies.
oooooooh
[Chalky] And ISIRTA, which Raak mentioned, was "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again", which was in some ways a predecessor to ISIHAC. Only much funnier.

Anyway, this next one is Usually Vegetable and Mineral, but could be Animal (and I supppose you could make a claim for abstract, but that would be unhelpful). I will do my best to keep up with answers, although the fact that I am eight hours ahead of most of you won't make it easy.
Too obvious! It's a pizza - the veges are veges; the mineral bit's the remains of the delivery person's helmet when you knock the whatsit out of 'em for being late and the animal portion is, well, best not say.
VERY CLOSE!
...er, or it would be, except it wasn't. So, no, it is not a pizza.
Is it edible?
CdM - ISIRTA] *doh* 'course it is - thanks - my brain doesn't see these programmes as initials.
A painting?
Ratatouille?
[Chalky] Edible? It's not inedible, but you wouldn't normally eat it.
[Raak] Painting? No (but perhaps an early ripple of applause).
[Irouleguy] Ratatouille? No.
Would one wear it?
[Chalky] Wear it? No. It is true that it could be associated with clothing, but one would not normally think of it in that context.
A tapestry?
[Raak] Tapestry? No.
Some form of artwork?
[Irouleguy] Artwork? Not normally, no, at least not in and of itself.
Is it man-made?
[Inkspot] Man-made? Yes.
Is it decorative?
[Raak] Decorative? Not normally, no. (It is possible to imagine circumstances where it would be, but I think that is probably more misleading than helpful.)
Has the vegetable part been processed in order to be a part of this?
Is it used by artists?
Does it contain writing?
Is the mineral part mostly or usually wood?
Oh my God - the bifurcation's spreading
Is part of it metal?
[Iroleguy]I thought wood as a vegetable?
Is it something that can be made from either natural or artificial substances? (eg rubber or neoprene)
[Raak] Vegetable Processed? Yes
[Raak] Used by artists? It can be.
[Darren] Contain writing? No.
[Irouleguy] Mineral part wood? No. And neither is the vegatable part.
[Inkspot] Part metal? No. [Rosie] Can be made from natural or artificial substances? Yes. (Some applause.)
[Irouleguy] er, or the vegetable part.
A paintbrush?
Ink?
[Raak] Paintbrush? No.
[Darren] Ink? (Major applause). Very close, but I want something more precise.
Is it used in a domestic environment?
[Chalky] It is not typically used anywhere. (Well, I can think of one place.) But focus on Darren's answer -- he has basically gotten there.
(And yes, it can be used by artists, as I said. But normally you would not think of this as something that was being used.)
Well, it is gone midnight here in Singapore, and I am about to go to bed. And so, since Darren really did get the answer, I think I should pass the baton to him, rather than keep you all waiting until tomorrow. I was surprised how hard it was to answer some of those questions; my apologies if I misled in any way. The exact answer I was looking for was:

An Inkspot.
CdM] Nice one
self] Write out 'Wood is not a mineral' 100 times
Thanks to CdM! (It's the second time I've won one of these on a "ohhh... close enough"!) [Irouleguy] What about petrified wood?
Now we are Abstract.
Is it a human construct?
Is it an action?
Is it part of, or found in, all cultures?
Darren] True...
Is it a belief system?
Is it related to music?
[Rosie] Yes, but not necessarily. But yes.
{Inkspot] Yes.
[Irouleguy] I'm not sure if it's found in all, but certainly many.
[Gusset Login] No.
[Tuj] Indirectly, it can be.
[Rosie] Actually, just make that yes.
Is it a narrative activity?
Is it a physical activity?
[Raak] No.
[Irouleguy] Yes.
Dancing?
[Raak] No.
Is it a sport of some kind?
Is it done with the whole body?
Does it involve more than one person?
Is it something that only humans can do?
sorry - I think you've answered that last one already with your 'human construct' answer.
Is it restricted to adults only?
[CdM] Mostly no, although some people treat it like one.
[Inkspot] No.
[Gusset Login] Yes.
[Chalky] (1) Well, this is the reason for my vagueness about the "human construct." I'm going to say yes and no, depending on how you look at it. (2) No.
[Gusset Login] I need to be a bit more vague again. A better answer is this: normally yes, but sometimes no.
Is it a game?
[Chalky] No.
Whistling?
[Irouleguy] No.
Sex?
[Raak] I was waiting for someone to say this. No, it's not sex.
Waving
[Inkspot] No.
Drowning? (oblig.)
Is the part of the body the head, or part of the head?
Does it involve communication of one form or another?
Is it legal?
[Irouleguy] (1) No. (2) What part of the body?! I never mentioned a part of the body.
[Kim] Yes.
[Gusset Login] Yes.
talking?
[Inkspot] No.
[Irouleguy] (2) I wasn't really fair there, was I? The answer is generally no.
Acting?
[Raak] No.
txtng?
Do you need equipment of some sort to do it?
[Raak] No.
[Chalky] No.
I'll provide a clue if anyone wants one.
Summary
It is...a human construct, an action, found in many (if not all) cultures, a physical activity, involving communication of some sort, legal
It could be...related to music (indirectly), a solo activity
It is not...a narrative activity, dancing, a sport (though some people treat it like one), done with the whole body, a game, whistling, sex, waving, drowning, restricted to humans, talking, acting, txting [sic], done with equipment, generally done with the head

I'm having trouble with the idea that this is a human construct but not restricted to humans. So, yes, a clue might help, but I'll have a couple of guesses as well.
praying?
pointing?
[Irouleguy] No, and no.
Here's a clue: Raak has guessed a number of activities which can be associated with this. Not always, of course, but certainly sometimes. In essence, you're getting towards the right area.
And in response to Irouleguy's doubts, there is at least one type of animal (other than humans) which can do this activity, although I don't think it does it for the same reason!
Performing?
[Chalky] No.
Is this something which would be acceptable if performed in public?
Well, Raak has guessed dancing, sex, and acting...
Yoga?
[Dujon] Depends where you do it, but generally yes.
[Raak] No.
[CdM] What would you hope would go with them?
Smoking ?
Drinking alcohol?
[Chalky] No and no. (You're getting colder.)
Partying?
[Raak] No.
Applauding?
Drinking alcohol?
Oops, didn't notice Chalky just asked that,
Conversation?
[Irouleguy] YES!!!! (Well, actually it was "a ripple of applause" but you're easily close enough.) Just to explain my animal comments above, I don't think I imagined seals clapping in circuses.
[Raak] (1) No. (2) No.

So, Irouleguy is in the driving seat for the next lap.

WOO-HOO!
Darren] No you didn't imagine that - it was when you said one type of animal that I started to work it out.
Anyway, this is something else completely different - MINERAL
Antimony?
Mainly metallic?
Tuj] Antimony? No
Darren] Mainly metallic? No
Is it a monument?
Is it man-made?
Is it a single thing?
Inkspot] Is it a monument? No
Darren} Is it man-made? No
Raak] Is it a single thing? Um...yes and no. It's a collective noun, like 'the Alps' (but it's not a mountain range).
Is it a geographical feature?
Is it, collectively, larger than the Earth?
Is it an astronomical feature?
ImNotJohn] Is it a geographical feature? No
Darren] Is it, collectively, larger than the Earth? Um...define 'larger'.
Raak] Is it an astronomical feature? Yes *murmurs of approval from the audience*
Is it outside the Solar System?
Is it a consellation of stars?
consellation/constellation
Is it the Oort Cloud?
Darren] Is it outside the Solar System? No
Inkspot] Is it a constellation of stars? No. (I'd consider a constellation mineral/abstract.)
CdM] Is it the Oort Cloud? No - but closer
The asteroids?
Raak] The asteroids? No
The solar wind?
The rings of Saturn?
The Milky Way?
Rings around Uranus?
....and stop sniggering at the back
Raak] The solar wind? No
Darren] The rings of Saturn? YES!! We have a winner! And so the baton passes straight back to Darren.
OK, well, I'm back in the chair, it seems.
This one is MINERAL.
Is it man made?
[Inkspot] Yes.
Is it typically used inside?
Does it use electricity?
Is it mainly used for work, or for enjoyment?
[CdM] Inside the house, you mean? If so, yes.
[Raak] Yes.
[Irouleguy] These days, the latter.
A computer?
[Raak] Yes, but I need you to be more precise.
A computer running Windows?
An Amstrad?
A Macintosh?
[Raak] (1) No.
[Irouleguy] No.
[Raak] (2) No.
Is it a specific make or model of computer?
A BBC?
[Raak] Yes.
[Irouleguy] Close, but not close enough.
BBC Model B?
A BBC Acorn?
BBC Model A (Acorn)
[Raak] No.
[Irouleguy] A BBC Acorn? No such thing. Acorn produced all the BBC computers via a licensing deal.
[Inkspot] No.
Sinclair Spectrum?
[Raak] No (colder).
A Commodore 64?
[Raak] No, equally cold.
Hm, what's on the hot side of a BBC from a C64 or a Spectrum?
Is this type of computer still in current use (other than by retro geeks)?
Is it a BBC 'something'?
[Raak] No.
[Chalky] No.
I did give you a clue before. Remember, the BBC didn't make the BBC Micro - it was made by Acorn. So, what you might be looking for here is another (retro, we've established) computer made by Acorn, of which there were several.
Was this model named after a minute 'object'? - there's two I can think of.
Acorn Atom?
.. the one that was launched in 1980, she says knowledgeably.
Google? Wassat then :-)
Acorn Archimedes
Absolutely fascinated when reading the story about what they did back then
[Dujon] Yes.
[Chalky] No, too early.
[Inkspot] No, too recent.
The clues, together with Inkspot's posting of the history, strongly suggest the Electron.
[Raak] Absolutely so. It is indeed the Acorn Electron. CORRECT! It's Raak's turn.
The next is VEGETABLE
Is it edible?
Is it edible?
Sorry.
Is it commonly found indoors?
Is it a vegetable?
Is it something that has been processed?
[Darren] No.
[Tuj] It can be.
[Chalky] No.
[CdM] Yes.
Is it an item of furniture?
[Darren] No.
A crucifix?
YES
Game to Irouleguy.
Wow, that was quick.
Hell's bells!
I suspect telepathy!
Raak set it on Good Friday - what else could it have been? Do I sense someone else who grew up Catholic? Anyway, our next subject was also a cause of anguish and tension, albeit on a much smaller scale. It's VEGETABLE/MINERAL, ABSTRACT and the colour's a sort of clue.
Anything to do with Ireland?
Desultory Church of Scotland, actually.
Raak] Anything to do with Ireland? A very faint connection, but a misleading one
CoS? Is that like Anglican?
The green eye of the little yellow god?
Anglican? Certainly not, Anglicans are almost Papist idolaters from the point of view of the CoS. On the other hand, it can't really be described as Protestant either. It's full, Sunday best title has the word "Episcopalian" in it somewhere, but I don't have much idea what that means. Just one of the meaningless background elements of childhood.
Raak] The green eye of the little yellow god? No - actually 'clue' may be something of an exaggeration. More of a set of lateral thinking connections, really. The colour's really not the best way to get there.
Is it the title of a book?
Does it have punctuation in it?
Is it a fictional object?
Is this something to do with grass?
Inkspot] Is it the title of a book? No
Tuj] Does it have punctuation in it? Yes (odd question)
Darren] Is it a fictional object? Yes
Dujon] Is this something to do with grass? No. Really, I'm sorry I ever mentioned the colour.
Is the vegetable part wood?
Would it be found underground?
Irouleguy] Of course an odd question! What else would be expected though? Anyway, could be more useful than the green thing.
Raak] Is the vegetable part wood? Yes
Tuj] Would it be found underground? No
It was a comment, not a criticism, and it probably will be more useful than the green thing.
Is the mineral part metal fixings of some sort?
Raak] Is the mineral part metal fixings of some sort? Yes, but there's other (more important) mineral parts as well.
Is this a tool with a wooden handle and metal business end?
Is it part of the folklore of a particular people?
Is this a weapon?
Is the apostrophe a possessive one?
Raak] Is this a tool with a wooden handle and metal business end? No
Inkspot] Is it part of the folklore of a particular people? No
Dujon] Is this a weapon? No
Tuj] Is the apostrophe a possessive one? Yes
Harry Potter's staff?
Is the mineral a gem stone?
Raak] Harry Potter's staff? No, but thinking along the right lines
Inkspot] Is the mineral a gem stone? No *audience launches into karaoke version of Michelle Shocked's 'Anchorage'*
The Mona Lisa's Smile
Does have connections with Lords of the Ring?
'Cos if it does I'll back out as I know sweet nuffin' about it.
Inkspot] The Mona Lisa's Smile? No
Dujon] Does it have connections with The Lord of the Rings? No
Does the fictional work date from 1950 or later?
Is it from a television series?
Does it have any magical properties?
Raak] Does the fictional work date from 1950 or later? No
Inkspot] Is it from a television series? No
Darren] Does it have any magical properties? No

Do we want a clue?
Is the object man made?
Prospero's staff?
With Inkspot's and Raak's questions immediately above to be answered, the state of the nation seems to be (I hope I've not missed something):

It is not/does not:

The eye of the little yellow god
The title of a book
A tool with wooden handle and metal business end
Have anything to do with grass
Not found underground
Part of fokelore of a particlar people
A weapon
Harry Potter's staff - but the right line of thinking
Contain a gem stone
The Mona Lisa smile
Have connection with Lord of the Rings
From a television series
Have magical properties

It is/does:

Have a very faint connection with Ireland but this would be misleading
Have punctuation in it
Fictional
Wood in the vegetable part
Contain a possessive apostrophe
Have metal fixings of some sort - but there's (more important) mineral parts as well
Pre-date 1950

Inkspot] Is the object man made? Yes
Raak] Prospero's staff? No, but the answer could be said to lie on a point midway between two of Raak's guesses
Dujon] A good summary
Is it somebody's staff?
Darren] Is it somebody's staff? No
Was it supposed to belong to a particular person?
Does it have a knob on the end?
Darren] Was it supposed to belong to a particular person? Not sure what this means. It does belong to a particular person - the form of the answer is {person's name}'s {object}.
Raak] Does it have a knob on the end? I refer the honourable gentleman to my last answer but one.
Is it any sort of ship?
Was the owner a real person?
[Irouleguy] Re: the "particular person" question. That was what I meant.
Is it too heavy for a single person to lift?
Is it something that is worn?
Raak] Is it any sort of ship? No
Darren - Was the owner a real person? No
CdM - Is it too heavy for a single person to lift? Good question - yes
Inkspot - Is it something that is worn? No
Is it something large enough that a human could get inside?
Is it a building?
Darren] Is it something large enough that a human could get inside? No
Raak] Is it a building? No
Is the object made from stone?
is it connected with transport?
Would it help me if I understood your reference to "Anchorage"?
'Cos, like, maybe I'm being dumb, but I know that song pretty well, and yet I have no idea what you were getting at...
Was Shakespeare the author of the fictional work in question?
Inkspot] Is the object made from stone? No
Chalky] Is it connected with transport? No
CdM - Would it help me if I understood your reference to "Anchorage"? No.
Sorry - it was just a joke about being cold. It's the only song I know about Alaska.
CdM - Was Shakespeare the author of the fictional work in question? No
Could a human wrap his/her arms around it?
When you said "Harry Potter's staff" was the "right line of thinking" did you mean something more than that it was of the form {person's name}'s {object}?
Is it time for me to shut up and let someone else ask a question?
19th century?
Is the person's name more than one word?
CdM] Could a human wrap his/her arms around it? Almost certainly not
CdM] When you said "Harry Potter's staff" was the "right line of thinking" did you mean something more than that it was of the form {person's name}'s {object}? No
CdM] Is it time for me to shut up and let someone else ask a question? Not at all - they're good questions and it's not that busy today
Raak] 19th century? Yes
Darren] Is the person's name more than one word? Yes
A clue for Friday afternoon
The person in the answer shares a name with the author of the fictional work.
Lady Windermere's Fan?
Is the fictional work - a film?
Is the fictional work - a play?
Raak] Lady Windermere's Fan? No, but in several respects the closest approach yet.
Chalky] Is the fictional work - a film? Not originally, but it has been filmed.
Chalky] Is the fictional work - a play? No
Was the fictional work originally written in English?
Was the film made before 1950?
Is there more than one filmed version (including cinematic and television versions, if applicable)?
Is it an item of furniture?
Is it anything to do with Oscar Wilde, or in fact Dorian Gray, and am I allowed to ask more than one question at a time?
Tom Brown's Schooldays?
As abstract as you get
buit it's not the title of a book.....*retracts already abstract answer*
CdM] Was the fictional work originally written in English? Yes
Inkspot] Was the film made before 1950? No, for all versions (see below)
Darren] Is there more than one filmed version (including cinematic and television versions, if applicable)? Yes, according to IMBd three (one cinematic, two television). Obligatory trivia - the actor playing the person in the answer in the first TV version was once in Blake's seven, and also has a connection to the colour clue.
Raak] Is it an item of furniture? Yes, though that's not its primary function
ZK] Is it anything to do with Oscar Wilde, or in fact Dorian Gray, and am I allowed to ask more than one question at a time? No, and no, and apparently yes
ZK] Tom Brown's Schooldays? I refer the honourable gentleman to his subsequent answer
Is the entire answer a phrase that is in reasonably common use?
(For example, do you think it would be an acceptable solution in a crossword?)
CDM] Is the entire answer a phrase that is in reasonably common use? No - it'd only really be acceptable in a crossword if the whole crossword was themed around the author.
Is the author Dickens?
Is the person male?
is it a musical instrument?
Regarding the mineral part: (a) is it in part glass? (b) you said there are "metal fixings" but are there also other metal parts?
is it a timepiece of any kind?
Raak] Is the author Dickens? No
Darren] Is the person male? No
ZK]Is it a musical instrument? Yes
CdM] Regarding the mineral part: (a) is it in part glass? (b) you said there are "metal fixings" but are there also other metal parts? (a) No; (b) Yes
ZK] Is it a timepiece of any kind? No
Is it a piano?
I can't think of anyone who has a piano except in Jane Austen novels so I don't know why I'm asking!
Having a guess
Did Jane Fairfax have a piano?
*applauds*
You have definitely got the right person (having checked all the imdb clues). And I am guessing that the piano is right as well.
ZK - YES!!! Congratulations! I'd thought after the last round of answers that someone must get it soon. The colour clue is that everyone thought that the piano was a gift to Jane Fairfax from the Dixons, which leads by association to Dixon of Dock Green, which Ania Marson, who played Jane Fairfax in the first TV version of Emma, appeared in a number of times. I did say it wasn't so much a clue as a lateral association which wouldn't help...
I'll shut up now and hand over the baton to ZK.
thank god for that
I don't know why, but I developed an obsession with this round! I'm glad my brain worked the right way....eventually.....shame on me because I've only read Emma once! I do own that version, though. I think I got it for my 13th birthday. I must say I didn't get any of the Dixon clues. Anyway...
What was the irish connection?
I guess this is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
A constellation?
[Raak] No. But cool :)
Are the connections to a specific animal?
[Tuj] Yes.
Would this animal have appeared in an animated film and a musical?
[Dujon]Certainly, but I suspect you're barking up the wrong tree.
Toto?
Is the animal human?
[Raak] No.
[Gusset Login] Yes! Yay :)
Are they female?
Are they best known for the animated film/musical?
Sorry, the Irish connection. JF had been with the Dixons in Ireland before she came to Highbury.
Anything to do with Gilbert & Sullivan?
Is it connected with religion?
Anything to do with Walt Disney?
Would you like an extra strong mint?
Female?
What are your major influences?
Is it one human or a group of them?
Could you hold this for a second?
Can I quote you?
Did you threaten to overrule him?
Was the person written about before 1900?
Did you *threaten* to overrule him?
Would you like a cup of tea and a Hob-nob?
Is there any truth to the rumors?
Did you THREATEN to overrule him?
Can I count on your vote?
I say, are you still there?
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