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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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A sugar loaf?
[Sugar loaf] No. Cool idea, but no. You know, I knew about the mountain, never once thought about where it got its name.
Are these normally bought in packets containing different colours and flavours?
The problem with all this is I can't see what in this line is not available in a supermarket. I can get sweets and molasses and Mars bars for deep-frying in my local supermarket. So: is it a sugar chair, like those used in the movies to shatter over someone's head?
[Packets] No...? Yees...? I suspect that's too close to call nowadays. Nevertheless, solid clappage occurs

[Sugar chair] No.

[Supermarkets] Supermarkets may be pretty comprehensive, but they don't sell everything. I'd only expect this to show up in the biggest supermarkets (and the right specialist shops), so when asked about 'normal' supermarkets I said no. I don't think Twickenham Waitrose has 'em, for example, and that's a good-sized shop. But for Kingston Waitrose, which is quite a bit larger, I reckon the balance tips. You all need to tell me the precise square footage of your nearest supermarket, then I'll redo the calculations. :-)

[SM's Mat Mystery] No, not Lambert. Besides, my government name is neither Mat nor Matt.
Are they mostly used for commercial purposes? The supermarket thing had me believing it was some industrial ingredient only used in factories, so let's tease that one out if we can.
Would some type of restaurant use this?
Some type of pastille?
Opal fruits?
My favourite...
Is it medicinal?
I thought of Fisherman's Friends a while ago, but the dating doesn't fit.
[Commercial] Yes. At least in the sense I think you mean. They're things people can buy, but unusual enough that only a larger-than average supermarket would stock 'em.
[Restaurants] No.
[Pastilles] No.
[They're starburst now, bah] No.
[Medicinal] No.
Used to decorate cakes?
Correction
Sorry, rereading Mat's query, I think I ought to change that to a No. Overlooked the word 'purposes'. This isn't, e.g. catering supplies, it's an ordinary thing bought for or by its end-user.
Dragees?
[Cake decor, dragees] No and no.
Do they typically come individually wrapped?
[Individually wrapped] No.
Are they spherical?
[Spherical] Yes! Strong applause
Are they more than 1cm in diameter?
[Diametrics] Yes! More applauses, possibly even whoops
More than 2 inches?
Gobstoppers?
standing on the shoulders of giants
A winner at last
[Gobstoppers] Yes! Gobstoppers is the AOTC. Audience collapses in relief, and they're probably not alone By Jove you had to work hard for that one. I was genuinely surprised that no-one thought to ask 'Sweets' weeks ago.
I think a lot of us were focused in on sweets for a long time, even if we never asked the question specifically. (That was my focus of attention ever since your reply when I asked if sugar was an ingredient.) The "no" to boiled sweets, though undoubtedly a correct answer, may have ended up taking us away from the right line of thinking.

MINERAL
Marbles?
Unique?
Metallic?
Marbles? No.
Hidden text''Unlike the ones from the book and the films, where Willy Wonka says you would break your teeth if you tried to chew a gobstopper, the Nestle produced gobstoppers are chewable once sucked long enough, and unlike their fictional counterparts they are not everlasting.'' Remarkably, that does not have a [citation needed].

Unique? Yes.
Metallic? Yes. *some muttering and head-shaking in the audience*
Is it found on planet Earth?
Does it weigh more than a million tons?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
Is it a small blob of neutron star matter?
(Just on the off chance that the answers to the previous two are both yes.)
Neutron Blob. The latest addition to the Mornington Crescent Cinematic Universe
On Earth? Yes.
> 1012g? Yes.
< toaster? No.
Neutron Blob? No.
The totality of British steam locomotives in 1960?
About 1.2 million tons give or take.
Ancient locomass? I know you'll find this hard to believe, Rosie, but No.
The Earth's core?
Human made?
Does it begin with P?
Earth's core? No. *some applause*
Human made? No.
Begin with P? No.
Is it the reserves of something?
Is it visible at the surface of the Earth?
Reserves? No.
Visible at the surface of the Earth? Yes.
Man-made?
Iron ore?
A specialised building?
Man-made? No.
Iron ore? No.
Specialised building? No.
A mountain?
Is it thinly spread all over the planet?
All the uranium in the oceans?
Is the metal in elemental form?
Mountain? Yes.
Thinly spread? No.
Damp and salty U? No.
Metal in elemental form? I am pretty sure the answer is Yes, though I know Rosie is a chemistry expert, while chemistry has never been my strong suit, so apologies in advance if I got this wrong.
(CdM) I meant metal as metal rather than chemically combined as in an ore, or rust even.
Does it begin with an E?
[Rosie] *nods* You can tell me at the end of the round whether I was right or not. :)
Begins with an E? No.
Is it plated?
Is the metal metaphorical?
Is it in a single nation?
Plated? No.
Metaphorical? No.
In a single nation? Yes.
Is it in Europe?
Is the metal copper?
In Europe? Yes.
Copper? No.
Does the metal end in 'um'?
As so many of them do
Does the name of this mountain include the name of a metal?
End in um? Yes. And also No. Check your assumptions.
Name include name of a metal? No.
A little more research also suggests to me that the correct answer to Rosie's last question (elemental form) might be Yes and No. But I am honestly not sure what the best answer is.
Is just one metal involved?
Is it West of Prague?
I should ask this more often.
Just one metal involved? No.
Hidden textIn a nerdy linguistic way, I find it interesting that the phrase 'the metal', which showed up in four questions, spanned meanings that I reasonably interpreted as potentially including multiple metals (elemental, metaphorical), to a meaning that definitely required a single metal (ending in -um). 'Is the metal copper?' kinda sits in the middle; I perhaps should have suggested assumption checking at that point. As you were.

West of Prague? Yes.
Hidden textOf course, it's also East of Prague, if you go far enough.
Does the mountain actually have Mount or Mountain in its name?
Is this mountain named on Google Maps?
The EU Butter Mountain it isn't, but it's too good not to play it
Mount or mountain in the name? There are in fact two acceptable answers on the card. The answer is Yes for one and No for the other. *a little muttering from some of the more literal-minded audience members*
Named on Google Maps? Yes. (Both answers on the card appear on Google Maps.)
Butter Mountain? No. (Interestingly, the second one of those would clearly have been only a marginal Yes in response to Tuj's last question.)

(This one is proving harder than I expected. I hope I haven't been misleading with any of my answers.)
Is it in Wales?
Is it South of Lyon?
In Wales? No.
South of Lyon? No.
What I would like it to be is the enormous yellow sulphur dumps you get at the end of some oil pipelines where they de-sulphurise the stuff. Is it that?
Enormous yellow sulphur dumps you get at the end of some oil pipelines where they de-sulphurise the stuff? No.
Is it in the Alps?
In the Alps? No.
In the UK?
Does mining come into it?
In the UK? No.
Mining-related? No.
(And, as I keep reading, I now think that my answer to Rosie probably should have been No. But I'm still not sure. Did I mention that chemistry is not my strong suit?)
Is it south of Loen?
You know, the village in Stryn Municipality in Vestland county in Norway.
Is it an island?
Oh, _that_ Loen
South of Loen? No. Which means it is also north of every Loon, Lyon, Leon, Léon, and León listed in Wikipedia.
An island? No.
Does water play a part?
Is it in Iceland?
Watery? No.
In Iceland? Yes! *applause*
Eyjafjallajökull?
Strike that suggestion - begins with an E
Is it a chocolate pavlova mountain?
You can find them in Iceland.   :)
Does either form of the name end with "-jökull"?
Eyjafjallajökull? No. *some applause*
Chocolate pavlova mountain? No.
Hidden text Only after googling did I understand the joke -- no Iceland where I currently live or have previously lived. :)

Jökullsuffixed? No.
North Atlantic Ridge?
North Atlantic Ridge? No. *some applause*
Surtsey?
Surtsey? No. (Not an island) *applause*
Is it only in Iceland?
Only in Iceland? Yes.
Does it begin with a K (in Icelandic)?
Begins with a K? No.
I'm surprised this is taking so long; I would have thought it was easy to guess by this point.
The amount of lava erupted from a volcano?
I'll have you know I spent at least one microlife yesterday looking up the geology and geography of Iceland on Wikipedia, and I've still no idea what it is.
Quantity of lava? No.
Now I'm feeling guilty! The audience applauds at the word "volcano".
Hidden textAt this point I will tell you for free that all my confusion/ignorance with regard to Rosie's question does indeed concern lava. I have never thought much about lava beyond the fact that it's a, well, hot mess. What exactly is going on chemically, I have no idea. Maybe, with Rosie's help, I'll end this AVMA better informed than I was when I started. :)
Fagradalsfjall!
Hekla, with lots of shouting
Hekla? Hekno, because...
...Fagradsfjall, which commenced eruptions in March of this year and is still erupting (at least as of yesterday) is indeed the answer on the card. "Fjall" is Icelandic for mountain. The other acceptable answer on the card was Geldingadalir which is the more precise location of the eruption.
Hidden textFull disclosure. The original AOTC was just Geldingadalir, but when I was asked whether the AOTC was a mountain, I felt it would have been badly misleading to have answered No, so I hurriedly grabbed my Sharpie and wrote in Fagradalsfjall as well. Also, to clarify one other piece of my answers, I went with the fact that one dictionary definition of 'metallic' is simply 'containing a metal'; I was a little worried that answer might mislead and tried to convey as much with the audience reaction; in the end it didn't seem to lead you astray too much!
Hidden textI clearly overthink this, don't I? :)
(Careful with this baton, Raak. It's still a bit hot.)
The next is VEGETABLE and sometimes ANIMAL, with ABSTRACT connections; or vice versa.
An anorak?
A wahoo from the centre circle.
Is it edible?
[Rosie] Not an anorak.
[CdM] Not edible, is the simplest answer.
Rethinking the rubric, it might be better if more long-windedly expressed as VEGETABLE and MINERAL, with ABSTRACT, VEGETABLE and sometimes ANIMAL connections.
Human Made?
A musical instrument?
Would a Morniverser typically own one of these?
[B] Yes, human made.
[SM] Not a musical instrument.
[R] I think a Morniverser would not typically own one of these, although they very well might.
A fossil?
A weapon?
Is the vegetable wood? Is the mineral stone?
[RtG] Not a fossil.
[R] Not a weapon.
[SM] There can be wood, peripherally. (murmur of amusement in the audience)
[SM2] (Confers with Mycroft. Mycroft gives a definite nod.) Yes, the mineral is stone.
Are the animal connections just because it is human-made (and perhaps human-used?), or do they go beyond that?
[CdM] The animal connections go beyond human make or use.
Is it a weapon? Is it a tool?
[B1] Not a weapon.
[B2] Not a tool.
Is it art?
Is the item fire- or heat-related?
[B] *applause!* It is art.
[SM] Not fire- or heat-related.
Is it commonly sited indoors?
[SM] Yes, indoors.
Is it smaller than a toaster?
A painting?
Is Mycroft the Highland version of Myspace?
[C] Can be smaller than a toaster.
[B] *rapturous applause* It is a painting!
[C] Mycroft declines to say.
All done by one artist?
[B] Not by one artist.
In the previous, I should add that it is not a specific painting.
Impressionist?
A still life?
A pet portrait?
Trying to think of something arty that a Crescenter might have rather than probably has is a narrow area to work in.
[SM] The exact phrase was “very well might”, which is even narrower. I mean, a Crescenter might own an original Chagall,
Hidden textI choose this example because I did know a perfectly ordinary not-rich person who owned a (small!) Chagall.
but I wouldn’t stick a “very well” in front.
[S] Could be.
[SM] Not unless it's dead, because...
[C] Yes. A still life. Have this tasteful basket of flowers, fruits, and roadkill.
Everyone can now boast of their collection of still lives that every Crescenter should own.
Mmmmmmm ... roadkill
Me again? OK. I'm about to head into a horrendously busy period, so here is a nice easy ANIMAL and MINERAL that we can hopefully despatch in a few days. *some immediate muttering and discussion in the audience*
An item of clothing?
Item of clothing? No.
Is the animal Human?
Is this weapon?
Human? *some more animated discussion in the audience* Given what was posted on the board, No.
Weapon? *laughter* No. Although, for a sufficiently broad definition, and in some circumstances, Yes.
Is it unique?
Unique? No.
A handbag?
It is I, Rosie
Does it begin with P?
A statue?
Sports-related?
A haaaaaaaaaaandbaaaag? No.
Begin with P? No.
Statue? No.
Sports-related? No.
Hidden textI can think of a very very very minor way to relate the AOTC to sports, but it's not worth exploring. So forget I said anything.
Can you lift it easily with one hand?
Part of an animal's anatomy?
Is the mineral salt?
Lift easily with one haaaaaaaaaaaaand...
Sorry. <mode "Edith Evans" = off>

Lift easily with one hand? Yes, I can.
Part of animal's anatomy? I think No is the best answer, but *some audience discussion*
Salt? No. *a sprinkling of audience laughter*
Are the connected animals domesticated?
A paint brush?
Is it edible?
Connected animal domestic? Sometimes.
Paintbrush? No.
Edible? The best answer, though not actually 100% accurate, is Yes. *some applause*
Is it not merely edible, but eaten?
Eaten? Yes. *more applause*
Hidden textThis is a lively audience
I'm going to clarify the "anatomy" response: I think that No is probably the right answer, though there could be some room for some debate, and I'm quite sure that No is the least misleading answer.
Are eggs involved?
Eggs involved? Well, an egg is, because that is the AOTC. One ovoid baton tossed carelessly in Boolbar’s direction.
The yolks on me.
Oh! I didn't think it would be eggactly that. We can let CdM go and be very busy and begin once more with another nice easy one: ANIMAL with some MINERAL. And no it isn't an egg again.
Is it human?
A chicken (with a tinfoil hat)?
Salted cod?
Human? No.
Chicken? No. Not even with a bit of foil. *Some of the audience are licking their lips*
Salted Cod? No. *'Oooh' comes from the audience*
Dead animal?
Is it unique?
Does it live in the ocean?
tl;dr Being in the AVMA chair is surprisingly hard:
Hidden textReflections on an egg. First, I set the last AVMA forgetting to check whether we had had 'egg' as an answer before. To my surprise, even though the word has come up over 50 times, it has never been a subject before (though both Faberge egg and Easter egg have been). Second, it's amazing how you think you've set a nice easy AVMA, and then the questions come in and you realise there are many more subtleties than you considered. In my head, I was thinking of a simple chicken egg sitting on a table. But I immediately had to worry about whether people understand 'mineral' as a geological term, or as including biominerals, such as eggshell? (I decided eggshell should be classified as mineral, but does that mean we should actually classify almost all animals as 'animal and mineral' because of bones and teeth??) Of course, having made that decision, I immediately ran into trouble with human eggs. And then there was the anatomy question. We'd classify ova within an animal as anatomical, but I had already assumed the existence of eggshell. But, then, what about, say, a developing chicken egg before it has been laid? Oh, and finally, it turns out some eggs are poisonous. Still, at least I was confident that one could lift an egg with one hand and that they could be weaponised. :)
Dead? I do hope so.
Unique? No.
Ocean dwelling? No.
Hidden textAlthough taking into account what you said in your hidden part, I would suspect there will be at least one example of the AOTC bobbing around in an ocean somewhere. This would be almost certainly accidental and should be ignored. It would not be 'living' anyway! Also, I haven't gone back through the entire history of this game to see if my AOTC has been used before. Sorry if it has.
Is it a preserved creature?
The worm in a bottle of Tequila?
Preserved? Well, yes. *A ripple of applause*   This might send people down the wrong path.
Wormy tequila? No. But I guess that was worth a shot...
But is it art?
Is the animal dangerous when alive?
...to people, that is.
Art? Isn't everything? In this case, NO. Although thinking about it, there is a connection between the word on the card and art...
DANGER! DANGER? NO. Well, usually not. Some close relatives might be.
Is the animal a ruminant?
Moo & Co.? NO.
Edible?
Stuffed?
Edible? YES! Stuffed? NO.
Escargot?
A tortoise?
Pickled?
I remembered the line break this time...
Snails? NO
Tortoise? NO
Pickled? Not usually, but apparently it can be found pickled (I did not know until I Googled it.)

Note: There are some tiny grey areas here. For instance it is possible that the AOTC could be associated with a ruminant, but it is then described as such and not just the single word on the card. Best ignored.

Is the mineral part a shell?
Shell? NO
Extinct?
Is the mineral salt?
Does it begin with P?
Extinct? NO.
Salt? YES! There is salt in there.
P? NO. But a P beginning word is associated with the AOTC.
Overacts
Ham? NO *Audience applause*
Bacon?
*Audience goes wild*
Yes! Bacon it is. The first thing I thought of after the previous "egg". It is wise not to play this game while feeling a tad peckish.
Back to me? OK—another one that I hope will be reasonably easy. ANIMAL and VEGETABLE
FIsh and chips?
Fish and Chips? No and No.
Bangers and mash?
Is it food?
Bangers and Mash? No and No.
Food? Yes.
Sushi?
Liver & Onions
Soup?
Does it require much preparation?
Burger and fries?
Meat and two veg?
Sushi? No.
Liver and Onions? No and No.
Soup? No.
Does it require much preparation? I'll go with No. It does require some preparation, but it is straightforward.
Burger and fries? No and No.
Meat and two veg? No and No and No.
Is the animal part, milk?
Animal part milk? Yes, in part. (Technically, No is possible, but anything other than a Yes would be misleading.)
Is the mineral part the container?
Mineral container? Is this a fiendish trick to make me admit there is a mineral component even though that was not specified on the board? If so, your dastardly plan has succeeded. It is very probable that there is a small amount of mineral. Is that useful? Almost certainly not. Is it anything to do with a container? Definitely not.
Oops.
Milk and cookies?
A cereal?
Milk and cookies? No and No.
A cereal? No. *a smattering of applause*
Porridge?
Porridge? No. *a smattering of applause by the same smatterers who smattered in response to the previous question*
Does it taste sweet?
Is it baked?
OK, now it is starting to get tricky. There are actually two acceptable answers on the card. I'd always thought of them as being essentially equivalent, but some perusal of the internet suggests some subtle differences. One of the two answers is probably more familiar to most people. With that in mind...
Sweet? For the more well known answer, I would say Sometimes But Mostly No, although it can be—and an even more complicated answer might depend on how we think of the flavour profile of a common but not essential ingredient. For the less common answer, the answer seems to be Mostly Yes.
Baked? Mostly No, but sometimes—and more likely in the case of the less common answer.
All of that makes sense to me, but perhaps not to you. So, to keep things simple, if we stick to the more familiar AOTC:

Sweet? Sometimes.
Baked? Usually No.
Sausages?
Sausages? No. *the serial smatterers smatter*
Are eggs used to prepare this food?
Hamburger?
Eggs used in preparation? Yes. *applause*
Hamburger? No.
A breakfast aliment?
Poached eggs?
A coddled egg?
Breakfasty? Yes, my dear Watson. *applause*
Poached eggs? No.
Coddled egg? No.
An English breakfast?
Is toast involved?
I think we are just about done here
English breakfast? No. *laughter*
Toast involved? *loud applause* Toast is one of the words on the card. (Oddly, however, it is at least arguable that the best answer to the question might be No.)
Soldiers?
Soldiers? No.
French Toast?
Scrambled egg on toast?
Yum-yum
Eggy bread?
And Chalky has it! The AOTC is indeed French Toast (which, of course, is not toast as the word is usually understood, hence my answer to Bismarck's earlier question). The alternative AOTC was Pain Perdu, which is, er, the French version of French toast. Unfortunately, I never got the P question. While the egg mixture for French toast is typically not sweetened (even though of course it may typically be served with very sweet things like maple syrup), my casual googling suggests that it is more common to include sugar in the making of pain perdu, so I think there may be a subtle difference. I don't think I've ever actually heard the term "Eggy Bread" before, but I would have awarded it the win had Chalky not got there first; as far as I can tell from very quick googling it is equivalent to French toast.

I have here one soaked and fried baton for Chal—hang on, where did I put it...?
Thought I might have nailed it in a moment of weakness ;^)

To quote our friend and all-round gamestar CdM "Being in the AVMA chair is surprisingly hard .." I can but do my best although it may be helpful to set an alarm as a reminder to pop in at least once a day.

Next up ANIMAL

If you translate the answer into French, does it begin with P?
CdM, I let you down :(
Is it human?
Alive?
Catgut?
Translates into a French P? NON

Human? - YES

Alive? - YES

Catgut? - NO

Involved in the world of entertainment?
A sportsperson?
British?
A single identified individual?
Involved in the world of entertainment? YES

A sportsperson? YES

British? NO

A single identified individual? YES

Female?
Plays in a team sport?
Female? NO

Plays in a team sport? NO

Roger Federer?
A cricketer?
Lately in the news?
Roger Federer? NO

A cricketer? NO

Lately in the news? NO

Have they won an Olympic medal?
European?
Retired?
Have they won an Olympic medal? NO

European? NO

Retired? YES

* rethink *
Retired? YES and NO
Retired from the sporting activity for which they are known?
Is this a footballer?
Retired from the sporting activity for which they are known? YES

Is this a footballer? NO

A lone yachtsman?
A lone yachtsman? NO
A commentator?
A commentator? NO
Not female. Trans?
American?
Trans? NO

American? YES

A golfer?
A F1 driver?
They are regularly retired.
Are we looking for the name of the person?
A golfer? NO

A F1 driver? NO

Are we looking for the name of the person? YES (as confirmed to CdM above as 'a single identified individual')

A tennis player?
A tennis player? NO
Has this person competed at a Summer Olympic Games?
Has this person competed at a Summer Olympic Games? Supportive of ... but NO - never competed
Has this person competed at a Winter Olympic Games?
Original questions R Us
Has this person competed at a Winter Olympic Games? NO [unoriginal answers R Us]
Is being a sportsperson the main thing for which this person is mémorable?
Is being a sportsperson the main thing for which this person is mémorable? NO *audience stirs*
Under the age of 60?
Is what they are mainly remembered for their post-retirement involvement in the sports world?
Under the age of 60? YES

Is what they are mainly remembered for (in) their post-retirement ... ? YES

... involvement in the sports world? NO

*hint* the 5th question asked on this subject is an avenue worth exploring
Have they been in a few movies?
Schwarzenegger?
Recap
We are to name an American man, still alive and under 60 though currently retired, who had some sporting links earlier in life, who has been involved in the entertainment industry and is known for this.
That looks like less useful info than there should be...
Have they been in a few movies? YES! *sighs and murmurs of relief from the audience *

Schwarzenegger? NO but a fine guess

Recap? A somewhat timorous description of this character's previous sporting prowess and current status in the entertainment industry although, by and large, correct.

O J Simpson?
*sighs*
A Schwarzenegger & O J Simpson are both 74 years young ... this chap is under 60 years of age
Does this person typically play himself in his movie appearances?
Does this person typically play himself in his movie appearances? NO
Keanu Reeves?
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?
*audience claps and cheers and generally goes wild for Tuj*
So not all-round-good-guy Keanu.

Dwayne Johnson it is! Not as Fast and Furious as some, I believe.

Here Tuj - have this baton hewn from Rock

What a gory baton!
Thanks Chalks! Let's head over now to something VEGETABLE.
A record-breaking prize vegetable?
Is it alive?
Raak] YES and NO. I think in the sense you mean, NO ;)
Supe] YES.
Does it span many acres?
A well-known forested area?
Does it begin with pea?
SM] No.
Rosie] No. (A couple of audience members confusedly unmute themselves briefly)
Bool] No
A particular tree?
Is it edible to humans?
Rosie] YES. (applause)
Supe] NO
A fruit tree?
Raak] NO
Is it of great age?
In the United States?
A bristlecone pine?
SM] YES.
Rosie] YES (applause)
Raak] NO
The General Sherman?
Rosie] NO. (gasps)
A creosote Bush?
Over 3000 years old?
Methuselah, the bristlecone pine?
Don't you dare make any ageist jokes.
Giant sequoia
RTG] NO.
Bool] NO.
Rosie] NO
Softers] YES. (clapping, then an expectant hush)
That redwood with the road going through it?
Supe] NO.
Gerneral Sherman?
Note to self: 4/4/4/1/3/2/
Sorfters] NO.
In California?
Bool] YES
General Grant?
Are we looking for the colloquial name of this sequoia
I had to look this up and there's quite a few named trees.
Softers] NO (appreciative 'ooh' from some audience members)
Bism] YES (if I'm understanding your question to be whether the AOTC is the name of a specific tree)
Does the tree have a military rank?
SM] NO
The President Tree?
Softers] NO.
Is it in the Giant Forest national park?
I thought I'd give this game a nudge.
Bool] NO!
A tree specific to the US of A DC and Christmas?
Duj] NO
Is it named after someone?
Raak] YES (some audience dissent, discussion and ooh-ing)
Is it named after some individual person by their name?
Does the name have seasonal connections?
Raak] YES (well, depending on your definition of the word 'person')
SM] NO (I began this 5 weeks ago :( )
Is it in the Mountain Home Grove?
Bool] NO
Cmon everyone, let's get this done this year!
Is it in the Sierra Nevada?
Hyperion?
I'll be very surprised if that's not right. :)
Raak] NO...
CdM] YES!
General Sherman popped into my head as a potential AOTC, but on research I found that this coast redwood, named after a mythical titan, is feted as the world's tallest known living tree. A very long wooden baton to you!
OK. A nice easy VEGETABLE.
An antivaxxer?
Is it a tree or made of something from a tree?
Edible?
Antivaxxer? No.
Tree or made from tree? Yes. *applause*
Edible? No.
Mainly paper?
A piece of furniture?
Paper? No.
Furniture? No.
A tool?
A work of art, or part of one?
Are there more than one?
Tool? No.
Art? No.
>1? Yes.
Christmas-related?
Christmassy? No.
Would you typically find one of these in someone's house?
Does it begin with P?
Found in someone's house? No. * audience laughter*
Begin with P? Regrettably, no. There is one P-adjacency that I can think of, but it does not appear on the card.
Is it too big/heavy to be lifted by one person
Is it something made of wood?
Alive?
Is it something revered?
Too big to be lifted by one person? No. *audience laughter, and considerable muttering*
Made of wood? Yes.
Alive? No.
Revered? No.
Wood-chip mulch?
Is it normally carried on one's person?
Mulch? No.
Normally carried on one's person? No. *considerable laughter*
Sawdust?
The stump of a tree?
Sawdust? No.
Tree stump? No.
Is it a man-made object?
Man-made? Yes. *audience mutter a little, but are generally in agreement*
A cricket bat?
Long shot (over silly point)
Cricket bat? No.
Is it pointy?
A stack of wood for burning?
Some sort of container?
Pointy? No.
Proto-bonfire? No.
Container? No.
Is it made of fossilised wood?
Fossilised? No.
Is it functional?
A hedge?
Functional? Yes. (Perhaps not a word that would naturally come to mind for the AOTC, but that has to be the best answer.)
Hedge? No (not alive, remember).
I'll also slightly qualify my answer to the "Pointy?" question to add a parenthetical "well, sometimes, sort of". Probably not helpful, though; just trying to pre-empt appeals at the end of the round.
Used for a game?
A weapon?
Is it edible for human consumption?
Used for game? Yes. *applause*
Weapon? No.
Edible? No.
A Pooh-stick?
A caber?
Pooh stick? No *laughter*
A caber? Yes! *applause*
I now have this image of highlanders playing poohsticks with cabers tossed over the side of the Forth Bridge.

I was handed a very long wooden baton, and I now hand on a shorter—but still very long!—wooden baton to Bismarck.
This thing could do with some handles, you know. Also its swishability is lacking somewhat. But on we go!
This is VEGETABLE with a bit of ANIMAL and MINERAL thrown in as accessories.
Is it an area of woodland?
Just in case trees are the current trend.
Smokey bacon crisps?
A Trifid?
A manufactured item?
Worcestershire sauce?
A recipe book?
Does it begin with S?
Is it portable by an average human?
Lights out - round 1!
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] No.
[Software] No.
[Rosie] Yes.
[nights] No.
[Simons] No.
[Tuj] No.
[Superman] Yes.
A pleasing symmetry in those answers.
Is it found in a typical household?
Is it made to be eaten?
It is mainly made of wood?
They keep a-comin'
[Rosie] Not uncommonly.
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] Yes.
Is it used for a game or sport?
Is it a tool, or part of a tool?
Is it piece of furniture?
The Noes have it
[Tuj] No.
[Raak] No.
[Radox] No.
Foldable?
It is a human artefact?
Oops, that ws effectively answered yes already.
Is it ornamental?
Is it functional?
Ducks redux
[Simons] No.
[Raak] Yes, and then No.
[Chalky] Ain't everything... Yes.
A hatstand?
A walking stick?
Generally of a stick-like form?
Is it (intentionally) combustible?
Does it belong in the garden?
Owed to joy
[Rosie] No.
[Software] No.
[Rak] No.
[nights] No.
[Radox] No.
Is the animal part leather?
A kitchen item?
Generally of a ball-like form?
Uncanny unanimity
[Software] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] No.
Is the animal part hair?
Is it smaller than a house brick?
The burden of the animals
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
A musical instrument?
A footstool?
An applau
[Simons] YES. The audience claps and sways.
[Software] No.
A stringed instrument?
Woodwind?
A guitar?
Violin?
A ton of applause
[Raak] Yes.
[Boolbar] No.
[Rosie] Yes! But there are two words on the card.
[Software] No.
Flying V?
A bass guitar?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] Possibly a version.
Is one of the words "guitar"?
A Fender?
Is one of the words 'dusty', 'forgotten' or similar?
speaking as part of the non-musical contingent
Does the first word on the card begin with 'A'?
And now the end is near
[Raak] Yes.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
[Dujon] No.
Acoustic guitar?
Spanish guitar?
Lo hiciste a tu manera
[Software] Yes, but not the answer on the card.
[Rosie] Si! Si! The audience stamps and claps, Rosie has won.

With a rose between your teeth, take this baton and lead us in an impromptu paso doble.

Arglwydd Mawr, dw'i wedi ennill. Be' sy'n ddigwydd?
Hidden textGood Lord, I won. Woss going on?

And the next object is

ABSTRACT

.
Is it Welsh?
(R the G) Welsh? NO. Looks more Latin-based to me.
Did Kant refer to it in any of his works?
(Superman) Not having read all of Kant (or any of it, actually) I can't say but the answer is very likely NO.
Does it have more syllables than 'breadbin'?
Is it owt do wi' art?
Did it originate in the bible or Shakespeare?
(SM) YES, it certainly does.
(Dujon) You cannot be serious. NO.
(Boolbar) I very much doubt it so let's just say NO.
Is it the steam that's on a winter's morning gently rises from the chimney of a steam engine which has just started to heat up for its first run up to York?
A well known phrase or saying?
A load of bollocks?
From Wales?
(R the G) Alas, NO. That's smoke BTW. Lighting up a steam loco is a dirty job.
(Boolbar) NOT a well-known phrase or saying.
(Softers) Generally, though not always, YES.
(Raak) NO. Not location-specific.
To do with current affairs?
(Raak) Current affairs? YES. *audience gets rather animated*
Democracy?
(Dujon) NO, not democracy.
Political rhetoric?
Social Media related?
(Softers) Political? YES. Rhetoric? NO.
(Boolbar) NO. Predates social media by quite a lot.
So nowt to do with Boris "not a complete clown" Johnson then.
(Raak) Not a thing. Nice link, BTW.
Does it involve death?
Does it have royal connections?
(Superman) - NO link with death.
(SM) - NO royal connections.
A Political Ideal?
Was this linked to a specific event?
Something to do with voters?
(Chalky) A political ideal? Very often, YES. *audience sit up and take notice*
(Bismarck) A specific event? NO.
(Boolbar) YES, quite a lot to do with voters. *even more buzz from the audience.*
Votes for women?
A ballot of some sort?
Universal suffrage?
Brexit Opportunities?
We do have a new smarmy incumbent, after all.
(Superman) Votes for women? NO.
(Duj) NOT a ballot.
(Raak) NOT universal suffrage.
(Softers) Brexit Opportunities? I think they'd keep quiet about it, so NO.
A method of voting?
(Simons Mith) A method of voting? NO.
Manifestos?
Elections?
Simons Mith has it! The AOTC is actually A Manifesto but that's near enough. I hand you the baton, now reduced to a worthless scroll of A4.
Oh look, it's got 'get Brexit done' scribbled on it in crayon.
Anyway, the next one for your delectation is ANIMAL.
Is it you?
No; too delectable.
Human?
Human - yes.
Alive at this moment?
Is it a specific person?
Alive - Yes
Specific - No
The members of some organisation?
A clan or tribe?
Is it more than 1000 people?
Organization - No
Clan - No
>1000? - No
A sports team?
sporty - No
Flat-Earthers?
Music related?
Honest politicians?
flat, musical or honest - all no.
The inhabitants of some small remote place?
Do they share the same name?
remote, common name: no again. A word related to the AOTC does come from a 'group' with a shared name. This is too broad to be a hint IMV - it's just a side observation.
Are all members of this group alive now?
Is it a group which one has to apply to to become a member?
[Alive, alive-o] Nup.
[Exclusive] Nu-uh.
Prime Ministers?
All the winners of some competition or honour?
[PM, winners] No and no.
Connections with TV or Radio?
[media] Nope.
From a specific country?
Are there more than five members of this group currently alive?
[Rosie]
Hidden textYou show surprising faith in humanity if you think there are fewer than 1000 flat-earthers out there. :)
Anything to do with hats?
[country, hatty] No and no
[5 alive] Yes.
To clarify, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. How many AOTCs there actually are would be difficult to estimate.
Presidents of the USA?
Is it a profession?
[presidenty, professional] No and no
Is it a one word answer?
[one-word] Yes.
Is it a physical characteristic that links this group?
Is it a psychological characteristic?
[Physical] On balance, no.
[Psychological] ... On balance, yes. Did have to think about that
Age related?
Sport related?
My turn soon to manage Watford.
[Agey, sporty] Nah, twice.
Fans of something?
Royalty?
[Fans, royals] Nope, everyone's still dead cold.
So alive on the 15th Feb but dead now? Or are we barking up the wrong tree?
Looking at previous answers. Woof Woof!
Any political connection?
The Illuminati?
Following Boolbar's logic! And Rosie, why bother with Watford when you can buy Chelsea?
Is being a member of this group something that an individual can choose?
[alive and yet not] Treating that as a question, I think it highly probable that some AOTCs have met their end in the last few weeks, so, Yes.
[political] No.
[Illuminatuses] No
[a matter of choice] Tricky. A hesitant Yes.
Centenarians?
(Bis) I think that nice Mr Abramovich may be asking a little more than my current budget. Chelsea fan since 1957, BTW.
Connected with space travel?
[Rosie] age-related question - see above.
[Aaaaaaaage] Nope.
[Spaaaaaaace] Negatory, Houston
Connected with hair?
Stunt-men?
crime-related?
[hair-related] No
[stunt-related] Nay
[crime-related] Yes (Claps from the audience)
People on death row?
People let out on parole?
The Kray gang?
UK crime?
[Death row] No
[Parolees] No
[Krays] No
[UK] Nope.
Is the crime organized?
Related to transport?
[organized] No
[transport] No
Kleptomania?
Cannibalism?
Did the crime exist in the 19th century?
[Kleptomania] No
[Cannibalism] No
[19th Century] Not sure how to answer. I did start with a firm no but then changed my mind to yes.
Related to financial fraud?
[Frodulence] Nay
Treason?
[Treason] No, not especially associated with that either.
Are we looking for victims of a crime?
[victoms] Nope.
British?
[British] No, not really.
Does it end with a Y?
[-y?] No, they don't.
Does it begin with ... (*rolls 26-sided die*) ... P?
Trespassers?
[Trespassers] No. (Half a clap from the audience)
[Begins with P] No.
Anything to do with war?
Anti-vaxers?
[warlike] Not really
[antiva] Nope
Do they steal something physical?
[Forth from his den to steal he stole,
His bag full of clink he clunk
And many a wicked smile he smole
And many a wink he wunk.
—How the Thief Thove] No.
(this space intentionally left blank)
Your poem led me to this curious issue of an old magazine. I cannot be sure if it is genuine or a complete invention. There are many places on the web where the poem can be found in various versions, but "How the Thief Thove" gets just this one hit.
Those thivin' thieves
My version was from a comic miscellany (Presto!) collected by Peter Dickinson, pub. 1975, Hutchinson. An old book I'm very fond of.
Thovery
A Google search for "smole wunk" turns up a bunch of variants, including in the Transcript of Proceedings of the National Railway Labour Panel Emergency Board.
Identity theft?
That all seems like a promising idea for the next V Difficult Poems on the other side.
[identity], No, they not thivs
Do these people enjoy political power?
[power] Nope.
Squatters?
[Squatters] No, more likely to be slouchers
Transportation?
[Transportation] No.
Hackers?
[Hackers] A clever guess, but no.
Julian Assange?
[Assange] Nuh uh.
Gizza Clue?
Do they cheat in some game or competition?
[Cheaters] No
[Clue] Hm, well, as I said, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. And it's never been illegal to be one - there'd be no way to enforce it
Is employment a factor?
[Employment] No, it's isn't.
Does wealth come into it?
[Wealth] Nope.
Cloning?
Apologies if we've asked already. Can't be bothered to scroll back
[Clones] No. That's super cold.
Is there something you have to wear to become one of these?
[Wearables] No. Ordinary clothes are fine
Is sitting down a requirement to be this?
[Sitting] No, you don't need to be sat.
Profiteering?
[Profiteers] No. Warmer than cloning, but no.
Communism?
Identity Thief?
Talking to myself now :-)
[ID Teef] No. In terms of warmness that's between cloning and profiteering, but all three are dead cold.
[Commies] No.
Does this apply to a particular country or region?
Bismarck did Identity theft some weeks ago, too.
[National or regional?] No, either way.
Not UK was identified some time ago. Is this 'thing' American?
Queue jumpers?
[USAnian] No, not very American either
[Queue jumpers] No.
Ghosts?
In order to be the AOTC, do they create something?
[Ghosts] No.
[Creators] No.
Recrap
We seek a single word that describes a human, with a link to crime, but no specific crime we have yet been able to come up with - indeed these people, of whom a few are alive at the moment, cannot be accused of a crime themselves as there is no enforcing it. Whatever it is they are engaged in, it was more prevalent after 1900, and it has a psychological side to it. Not linked to a country, doesn't begin with P, and the type of person sought is less delectable than Mith himself.
on balance, this gets the score "1/10. See me after class with your parents, guardians, house pets and anybody else I can shout at and blame."
Yeah, pretty good summary
I think "I give up" should be the 'winning' move, and maybe we should give this game a rest. This thing is nowhere near as obscure as some of the stuff the community has solved without even breaking sweat. We successfully got 'whatnot' for one.

Do you give up?

Is it people who give up rather than persevering?
[Givers-up] No... but they are rarely among life's winners.
Toffs?
Chavs?
[Toffs] No
[Chavs] No – but that's worth some applause
Welfare scroungers?
Spivs? Barflies?
[Scroungers] No, but a few more claps
[Spivs] No
[Barflies] No
Black marketeers?
[black marketeers] No - spivs basically are black marketeers, aren't they?
Oiks
Does this word begin with the letter G?
The underclass?
[Oiks] Yes, another smattering
['G-'] Nope
[Underclass] No
Do these people have the vote (if of age)?
Are they mostly male?
Beggars?
Zombies?
Dwarfs?
[Voters, Male] Yes and yes
[Beggars, Zombies, Dwarves] No
Eunuchs?
Do they usually have a fixed abode?
[Eunuchs?!] No. That's a real left-field guess. As cold as clones.
[Of fixed abode] Yes, usually.
Kings?
Are they recognisable at sight?
[Kings] No
[On sight] No. It's a bit like burglars. They might be supposed to wear a black and white stripey top and a mask, and carry a big sack with SWAG written on it, but uniform standards are dreadfully lax these days.
Incels?
[Incels] No, not that lame. [Audience consider clapping, then decide not]
Lottery winners? Does religion come into it?
People who don’t pay their library fines?
[Lottery] no
[Religion] no
[Non-payment] No, as if they'd ever read a book
Is this to do with them being unedicated?
Or uneducated?
[Non-edicated] Yes. A bit stereotypical, but yes.
Another summary. They are: human, linked to crime in a general way, some (more than five) alive today and some not, disreputable, generally male, uneducated, usually of fixed abode, unlikely to read a book, eligible to vote, oiks, a one-word answer in the singular, linked by a psychological characteristic, more numerous after 1900.

They are not (as a defining characteristic): flat-earthers, musical, honest politicians, a sports team, all having the same name, competition winners, Prime Ministers, US Presidents, members of a profession, connected to TV or radio, to do with hats, inhabitants of a small remote place, members of a group one must apply to, linked to a country, linked by a physical characteristic, age-related, sport-related, fans of something, royalty, the Illuminati, Centenarians, astronauts, related to hair, stunt-men, on death row, on parole, the Krays, organised crime, transport-related, kleptomaniacs, cannibals, related to fraud, related to treason, victims of crime, trespassers, to do with war, anti-vaxxers, beginning with P, beginning with G, hackers, Julian Assange, clones, wearers of a uniform, identity thieves, toffs, chavs (applause), welfare scroungers (applause), spivs, barflies, black marketeers, oiks, the underclass, beggars, zombies, dwarves, eunuchs, kings, ghosts, queue jumpers, creators of anything, recognisable at sight, lottery winners, related to religion, derelict about library fines.

Bouncers?
Excellent summary, worth a clap
Yes! However I see 'oiks' in both the am and the isn't sections. They're oikish individuals. But 'oik' is not the AOTC.
[Bouncers] No. But that's also worth a clap. And I suppose some of them might be bouncers.
The unemployed?
A pejorative term?
[Unemployed] Generally yes. Not always officially employed, that's for sure.
[Prejorative] Yes, I suppose. Milder even than oik though.
If there is a term for the Trotters out of Only Fools and Horses, would that be close?
'Cos I'm sure there is one but I can't put my finger on it.
['Entrepreneurs', of course] And no. [Audience titters].
Class-based?
Wide boys?
(Although "according to the Oxford English Dictionary it is synonymous with spiv".)
Charlatans?
Troll?
[Classy] Yes. But not classy.
[Wide] No.
[Charlatanny] No.
[Trolley] No. [A small ripple]
Yob?
[Yob] No. But getting warm at last
Hooligans (a.k.a. hoolies, hooks, or hoods)?
[Hooligans] No. Maybe a smidge warmer?
Oafs?
The only other words I can think of are all rather sweary - so it's probably best I withdraw from the chase ;^)
Would members of this class deny their membership of it?
[Oafs] No. A bit colder with oafs.
[Sweary] No, it's not sweary. After all, this is a family show. :-)
[Denial] Yes, I think most would. Some probably revel in it, but even then self-awareness is not high on the list for these types.
Is some sort of bigotry involved?
Conected wth the military?
Working class?
Do they go around in gangs?
Any connection to public schools?
[Bigots] No, not particularly
[Military] No, not especially
[Working class] Yes, for a very broad definition of 'working'
[Gangs] No, not 'gangs'
[Public schools] No. Well, almost never.
Often under the influence of some drug or other?
The riff-raff?
The Hoi-Poloi?
[druggies] No.
[riff-raff] No. That's one of the closest guesses yet though. [Audience sniggers]
[hoi-poloi] No.
Pikies?
Migrant workers?
Muggers?
[pikies] No
[migrants] no
[muggers] no, but a stronger ripple for that one
Does it begin with R,S or T?
[R,S,T] Yes. :-)
Reprobates?
Travelling folk?
[Reprobates] Yes.
[Travellers] No.
Recidivists?
Teenage herberts?
Drop-outs? Hippies?
[Recidiv] No. Well, a few might be
[Herberts] No.
[Dropouts] No. Again, a few might be.
[Hippies] Pah! No.
Blackmailers?
Forget blackmailers, that doesn't pass the no-apparent crime test.
Ruffian?
Urchins?
[Rrrrruff!] Yes! Boolbar wins. Audience sensation - oh wait, most of them have died of old age. I did say plural, but honestly, I'll assume that was just a typo.
Wait - checking back, no I didn't, I chose a singular generic specimen. Boolbar wins double points for being righter than the wally who set this one.
Oh blimey! I'd better quickly think of something. How about ANIMAL (with a vague link to vegetable and mineral for some parts of the world and for that matter vegetable and abstract as well, but let's ignore all that and stick with the basic ANIMAL or we'll be here all day year.)
Is it found on a coat of arms anywhere?
[Arms] Yes, I've swiftly found one on Google.
Popularly thought to represent a country?
Living in the sea?
Four-legged?
This should be quick...
[Country] I would suspect a lot people would think of this animal if one country was mentioned.
[Sea] Mainly.
[Four] No.
dolphin?
Does it have a shell?
The Galápagos tortoise?
A capillary-challenged eagle?
A whale?
Just Say No.
[Dolphin] No
[Shell] No
[That Tortoise] No
[That Eagle] No
[Whale] No
Is it a bird?
Could you lift one of these?
[Birdy] Yes!
[Lifty] Personally I could lift most of them, but I'd draw the line at the larger ones.
A grouse?
A penguin?
[Grouse] The bird rather than a grumbly person? No.
[Penguin] Yes! That's the one. I said it would be quick.

Do p-p-pick up this baton made out of chocolate covered biscuit and I can go and have a nice nap.

We apologise for the temporary interruption to transmission. Normal service has now been resumed.

I need to pay more attention!

This is ABSTRACT, although under another interpretation it is MINERAL
Hidden textconceivably with some non-mineral elements, but these would be negligible
A mountain (mythical or real)?
Mountain? No. *a tiny smattering of applause from the most generous members of the audience*
A geological concept?
A precious metal?
Geological? No.
Precious metal? No.
Is it an effect of animal work?
A figurative phrase or saying?
Effect of animal work? Yes.
Figurative phrase? No.
Made by mammal(s)?
A route or path of some kind?
Made by mammals? Yes.
Route or path? No.
I should perhaps clarify that my answer to Superman's question took "animal" in the AVMA sense of the term.
Made by people?
Reading between the line of CdM's clarification.
A butter mountain?
Made by people? Yes
Butter mountain? No.
An object of veneration?
A sculpture?
Object of veneration? No (except maybe in a narrow and almost certainly misleading sense... so forget I said anything).
Sculpture? No.
An award?
An artefact of modern civilisation?
Does it begin with P?
The Anthropocene?
Now it starts to get interesting…
Award? No.
Artefact of modern civilisation. *applause* In the abstract sense, the best answer is No (though a case can be made for Yes; it’s a question of perspective). In the mineral sense, most definitely Yes.
Begin with P? No—at least not any more.
Anthropocene? No.
The scrap-heap of history?
The Statue of Liberty?
Is it rubbish?
A painting of Mount Fuji?
Scrap-heap of history? No.
Statue of Liberty? No.
Rubbish? No.
A painting of Mount Fuji? No.
Did it have a western name which is no longer used?
Ayers Rock/Uluru, for example.
The Piltdown Man?
Obsolete western nomenclature? No.
Piltdown Man? No.
Forget about the mountain. The audience were too enthusiastic.
Is there just one of it?
Another interesting question.
Unique? Yes is clearly the best answer. In the mineral sense, definitely. In the abstract sense, also Yes—except, from a certain perspective, No.
Is it associated with a particular nation?
Is it an unintentional creation of some kind?
Does it have a flag?
Associated with a particular nation? In the mineral sense, Yes. In the abstract sense, No.
Unintentional creation? (*audience laughter*) No.
Does it have a flag? No.
Is the mineral gold?
A newly-formed island?
Gold? No. (It’s conceivable there’s some small amount involved, I suppose, but even if so, it wouldn’t be a helpful line of enquiry.)
New island? No.
Did the abstract sense exist before the mineral sense?
Metal?
Transuranic?
Abstract sense prior to Mineral? Yes.
Metal? In part, Yes.
Transuranic? No.
Is it wearable?
Does the abstract sense have to do with a work of fiction?
Wearable? *much mirth in the audience* No.
Connected to work of fiction? No.
Anything to do with the hydrocarbon industry?
To do with hydrocarbon industry? No. (There are surely some connections of some sort in the mineral sense (“anything to do with” is a vague phrase), but there’s no connection I am aware of that would be helpful or useful.)
Is there just one of the mineral thing?
Just one of mineral thing? You already asked that! Yes.
Is the physical thing some kind of token that represents the abstract thing?
Some kind of tokeny representation? No. Because I'm feeling really generous, I will tell you that the physical thing is the current instantiation of the abstract thing.
Is it, by definition, the X-est Y in the world, for some X and Y?
X-est Y? Yes *sustained applause*
The biggest pile of crap the world has ever seen?
The US Republican Party? No.
Is it the tallest Y?
Tallest Y? Y! *applause*
The tallest building?
Yes! The AOTC is “The tallest building in the world” which of course has had, and will have many specific instantiations.

I don’t seem to have a baton, but here’s a lightning conductor instead.
The next is a straightforward MINERAL.
Is the material modified by man?
Yes, it is modified by man.
Is it unique?
But is it art?
[CdM] It is unique.
[Tuj] Not a work of art.(A few grumbles in the audience)
Is it a feat of engineering?
[SM] (applause) It is a feat of engineering.
In North America?
(some chuckling in the audience) It is not in North America.
A bridge?
[Rosie] Not a bridge.
Is it fixed in one location?
(The audience are alert to hear how the chair handles this tricky question.)
[B] On balance, the least misleading answer is that yes, it is fixed in one location.
Is it terrestrial?
[SM] (applause) It is not terrestrial.
It's not JWST again is it :-)
It is indeed. I hadn't realised I did that 2 years ago. But some of the answers have changed since then! I'm afraid this baton has been punctured by several micrometeoroids, but it's still almost as good as new.
Well I feel like doing a MINERAL as well.
It’s not JWST again, is it?
Is it terrestrial?
I'm not trying to do the last game's questions in reverse. :)
JWST loop averted
[JWST] I would hope that only a bunch of the uttermost lunatics could manage to get caught in a loop in a game of AVMA.

... So, um, I suppose I should double-check then. (Double-checks AOTC) Nope. Definitely not the JWST. (Phew)

[terrestrial] Yes.

Is it fixed in one location?
oblig?
WTF is the JWST?
[fixed] No.

[Rosie] James Webb Space Telescope

A means of transport?
Jwst checking
[Transportation] No.
Is the material modified by man?
[man-modified] Yes.
Is there only one of it?
[Can there be only one?] No, there's loads
A drone?
Do you have at least one of these in your house or garden?
[drone] no
[in my house] yes, come to think of it.
A mobile phone?
[mobile] No. The oldest member of the audience peers farsightedly at their device and then claps, causing nonplusment among younger audience members
A remote control?
A pot? As in plants and cooking?
[Remote] No. Colder again
[Pot] No.
A ham radio device?
[Ham radio] No.
Did these exist in the year 1900?
[1900?] No, but in checking I was fascinated to discover that the fundamental discovery in use for the AOTC goes back to the late 1800s.
A metal detector?
Something powered by electricity?
[Metal detector] No.
[Electrickle] Yes.
A walkie-talkie?
[Walkie and/or talkie] No. The audience member, by the way, was just looking at an older-model mobile phone.
A hand tool?
[Hand tool] No, tenuously hand-related at best
An immobile phone?
[immobile] No. In fairness, the AOTC is not unheard-of on some older immobile phones.
An electrical component?
A loudspeaker?
An antenna?
First built 1888 by Hertz.
[Electrical component] Yes. (Claps from audience)
[loudspeaker, antenna] No and no. It took a long time before anyone found any application for the original discovery.
A battery charger?
[battery charger] No, not a battery charger. And can I just say I think it's disgraceful that we still keep chargers in such cruel and cramped conditions in this day and age?
Does it emit light?
A laser?
[emit?] No.
[laser] No.
A microphone?
A calculator?
[microphone] No
[calculator] No, (but a few more claps.)
A Leyden jar?
[jar] No. Too early.
A keyboard? With physical buttons?
A capacitor?
Quick consultation of the RS catalogue...
[keyboard] No.
[capacitor] No. I think it should be in there though.
A crystal radio?
Does it have any mechanically moving parts?
[crystal] No, but a clap or two.
[mechanically moving] No.
A movie prop?
An aerial?
[Props, aerials] No for both, and audience boos for getting colder.
Does it have a visual function?
Solid state semiconductoion (aka rectification)?
[Visual] Yes. [Back from boos to strong claps]
[rectification] No.
A liquid crystal display?
Raak wins!
[LCD] YES, that's the bunny.
I shall now ceremoniously hand over this thin grey-green rectangle with circuitry hanging from it, bearing an ancient congratulatory message: 'PC LOAD LETTER'.
Raak is going to choose the James Webb Space Telescope
I can tell...
I think Raak has been swallowed up by one of the Black Holes discovered by the JWST.
Let’s have another MINERAL. I can’t be sure that someone, perhaps even me, has not done this one before, but it’s not the JWST.
Doeas
Does it have a scientific application?
Dunno what went wrong there.
Is it a manufactured object?
[R] There is no known scientific application.
[SM] Not manufactured.
Stone?
Terrestrial?
[S] Not stone.
[SM] Non-terrestrial. At least, not specifically terrestrial.
Can you lift it?
[R] You cannot lift it.
Is there more than one of these things?
[S] It is not a countable sort of thing.
Is it the universe?
[SM] Not the universe. (There's exactly one of those, by definition.)
Is it an abstract concept?
[R] That could be argued either way, but for the sake of definiteness I'll say it is not an abstract concept.
The atmosphere?
[R] Not the atmosphere.
The ocean?
[R] Not the ocean. Non-(specifically)-terrestrial.
Related to planetary bodies?
Is it matter in one if the four basic forms?
[SM] Not related to planetary bodies.
[B] I’m not sure what the fourth basic form would be (plasma? neutronium? a black hole?), but this is not any form of matter.
Is it a form of energy?
[C] applause! It is a form of energy.
Sunshine?
[R] Not sunshine.
Dark energy?
Is motion involved?
Motion, I said, not motions.
[Rosie] Nobody knows, because...
[Radox] It is Dark Energy. Have this invisible baton that no-one is sure exists.
Energized
That was rather enjoyable, I'm not sure anyone foresaw that as being a property of Dark Energy. I am hesitating between something easy and something ridiculously specific. Therefore MINERAL is indicated, and if you hear a mysterious voice you should consult a doctor.
Is it ridiculously specific?
Terrestrial?
Is it made of glass?
Is it definitely known to exist (or have existed)?
[CdM] Yes. Not the James Webb Space Telescope, more like the receiver of the high gain antenna on the James Webb Space Telescope. Once you are getting close to this object, it will be fairly straightforward to get to the details (famous last words). And it's nothing to do with the James Webb Space Telescope.
[Boolbar] Yes.
[Tuj] No.
[Raak] It exists, has existed, and all bets are that it will exist for a bit longer.
The diagonal line forming the central part of the "N" on the Willie Rushton plaque at Mornington Crescent station?
ex-Great Western suburban 2-6-2 tank locomotive no. 6106?
It is a component of a man-made device?
Is it a doohickey?
[Tuj] No. Sadly.
[Rosie] No. Nothing to do with trains.
[Raak] It is part of something that was made by man, but hardly qualifies as a 'device'.
[Simons Mith] No. Nothing to doo with hickeys.
Is the capstone of a pyramid?
Are there more than one of this?
Is it a single colour?
Trying to be an increment more useful :)
One of the nine detectors that have been constructed at the Large Hadron Collider?
The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God?
[SimonsMith] No.
[Boolbar] There are, yes.
[Tuj] Pretty much, yes.
[Chalky] No. Hint: Far too recent.
[Raak] Nor isn't it.
Is it a weapon?
Are they found on multiple continents?
Are they all smaller than a toaster?
Related to architecture?
[Rosie] No.
[Tuj] No.
[CdM] No. It is larger than the entry for "largest toaster" in the Guinness Book of Records.
[Raak] Yes! (A collective mutter breaks out in the audience.)
Is this thing in the UK?
A castle ruin?
[Superman] Yes.
[Rosie] No.
Something to do with a bridge?
Ancient?
Made of stone?
Stonehenge?
[Boolbar] No.
[Simons Mith] Let's say in the last millennium.
[Raak] Yes!
[Rosie] No.
Concrete cows?
Related to ecclesiastical architecture?
[Simons Mith] No. But that would have been excellent had I thought of them.
[Raak] Yes! Raak wins three exclamation marks in a row and can now go for the big prize.
Bell towers?
A ruined abbey?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] No.
Is it visible inside the church?
Are they in or part of a single building?
Stained glass?
[Raak] Yes!
[Tuj] Yes!
[Simons] No.
A rood screen?
The Tomb of the Unknown Warrior?
Is the church in question in England?
A font?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
[CdM] Yes!
[Bismarck] No.
Are all of them in a single church?
The spandrels on the northern side of the nave of the Church of St Peter and St Paul, Lavenham?
[CdM] Awww. I didn't even know St Peter and St Paul was dog-friendly.
Raak] Yes! (These things do exist in many churches, but the one I'm thinking of is only in the one church.)
[CdM] No. But definitely in the right sort of ballpark.
In London?
A Cheshire Cat?
An entrance or arch?
A Gargoyle?
[Raak] No.
[SimonsMith] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Chalky] No.
Is the church actually a cathedral?
A pipe organ?
(Please assume the above is in italics.)
Bespoke embroidered hassocks?
I'm sure there's some church that has done something unique with its hassocks
A great dome?
[Being more sensible again]
A pulpit?
[Boolbar] No.
[CdM] Yes!
[Simons Mith] No.
[Raak] No.
Is the church Durham Cathedral?
[SM] I don’t think Great Domes are allowed into St Peter’s and St Paul’s.
[Raak] Yes! Out of all the cathedrals, why did you go for that one?
The Lego model of Durham Cathedral contained in Durham Cathedral?
Pure chance. I am also modestly ahead on all the lottery tickets I have ever bought.
A particular bible?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
Durham Cathedral's World Heritage Marker?
A collection box?
You get those everywhere ;-)
Is there a Harry Potter connection?
Is this thing specific to Durham Cathedral?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Bismarck] Yes! At least in the sense of the AOTC, which while all cathedrals have them to my knowledge, Durham's are unique, and don't forget the answer is quite specific.
The highest cathedra in Christendom?
Part of a tomb?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
Is it in the nave?
[Bismarck] Yes!
The tomb of a saint?
Something to do with the floor?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
I'm pretty stumped here. Am resisting Wikipedia though
There aren't that many things that you would find in the nave of a cathedral, Durham's are unique and there's a specific bit of one of them which is the answer on the card. Start with the obvious!
Something to do with the roof?
The first structural use of the pointed arch?
Not the answer
A sudden thought struck me - but it's Ely Cathedral that has a particular notable table in its nave at the moment.
1
1
555
1
555
1
555
1
555
[Boolbar] ...No.
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] Hint : not movable.
[1] No.
Since this is supposed to be a quite specific thing, the fortieth flagstone counting from the end?
Something to do with pillars?
Skateboard ramps?
It's a long shot, but I love the mental image of a bishop in full regalia doing an ollie
[Bismarck] No. Nice try, though.
[Boolbar] Yes! A verse of Hymn 116 breaks out in the audience.
[Simons Mith] No. Although there was that Bishop of Durham who might well have tried it had it been suggested.
They're carved, them pillars, is that it?
Is it a single one of the pillars?
[Bismarck] Yes! That is part of it.
[Raak] Yes! It is a part of that, too.
if you have never been to Durham Cathedral, then go now. If this is not possible, I don't suppose anybody would object to Googling some of the images of the pillars.
And...so...
Something to do with what material is used?
[Boolbar] No. Try guessing which pillar.
The fourth one on the right?
[CdM] No. But you're very close.
The fourth one on the left?
SimonsMith - Not that one. Hint: on the right.
Is it the way a pillar is carved?
[Boolbar] That is also an acceptable way of identifying the AOTC.
The fourth one on the left, coming from the other direction?
That wasn't quite as easy to work out as one might think. So
[CdM] Yes!
And I declare that to be the answer. Take this sculpted sandstone baton and go forth!
Congrats to CdM.
Is that pillar called the apprentice column? I have discovered a lot about Durham Cathedral (very educational this game) but that fact eluded me.
Apprenting
Yes, that's it. Luckily I stopped at ridiculously detailed answer and didn't go for asking for that error, or we'd still be here!
Whew.
Let’s follow that with a nice easy VEGETABLE
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