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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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So alive on the 15th Feb but dead now? Or are we barking up the wrong tree?
Looking at previous answers. Woof Woof!
Any political connection?
The Illuminati?
Following Boolbar's logic! And Rosie, why bother with Watford when you can buy Chelsea?
Is being a member of this group something that an individual can choose?
[alive and yet not] Treating that as a question, I think it highly probable that some AOTCs have met their end in the last few weeks, so, Yes.
[political] No.
[Illuminatuses] No
[a matter of choice] Tricky. A hesitant Yes.
Centenarians?
(Bis) I think that nice Mr Abramovich may be asking a little more than my current budget. Chelsea fan since 1957, BTW.
Connected with space travel?
[Rosie] age-related question - see above.
[Aaaaaaaage] Nope.
[Spaaaaaaace] Negatory, Houston
Connected with hair?
Stunt-men?
crime-related?
[hair-related] No
[stunt-related] Nay
[crime-related] Yes (Claps from the audience)
People on death row?
People let out on parole?
The Kray gang?
UK crime?
[Death row] No
[Parolees] No
[Krays] No
[UK] Nope.
Is the crime organized?
Related to transport?
[organized] No
[transport] No
Kleptomania?
Cannibalism?
Did the crime exist in the 19th century?
[Kleptomania] No
[Cannibalism] No
[19th Century] Not sure how to answer. I did start with a firm no but then changed my mind to yes.
Related to financial fraud?
[Frodulence] Nay
Treason?
[Treason] No, not especially associated with that either.
Are we looking for victims of a crime?
[victoms] Nope.
British?
[British] No, not really.
Does it end with a Y?
[-y?] No, they don't.
Does it begin with ... (*rolls 26-sided die*) ... P?
Trespassers?
[Trespassers] No. (Half a clap from the audience)
[Begins with P] No.
Anything to do with war?
Anti-vaxers?
[warlike] Not really
[antiva] Nope
Do they steal something physical?
[Forth from his den to steal he stole,
His bag full of clink he clunk
And many a wicked smile he smole
And many a wink he wunk.
—How the Thief Thove] No.
(this space intentionally left blank)
Your poem led me to this curious issue of an old magazine. I cannot be sure if it is genuine or a complete invention. There are many places on the web where the poem can be found in various versions, but "How the Thief Thove" gets just this one hit.
Those thivin' thieves
My version was from a comic miscellany (Presto!) collected by Peter Dickinson, pub. 1975, Hutchinson. An old book I'm very fond of.
Thovery
A Google search for "smole wunk" turns up a bunch of variants, including in the Transcript of Proceedings of the National Railway Labour Panel Emergency Board.
Identity theft?
That all seems like a promising idea for the next V Difficult Poems on the other side.
[identity], No, they not thivs
Do these people enjoy political power?
[power] Nope.
Squatters?
[Squatters] No, more likely to be slouchers
Transportation?
[Transportation] No.
Hackers?
[Hackers] A clever guess, but no.
Julian Assange?
[Assange] Nuh uh.
Gizza Clue?
Do they cheat in some game or competition?
[Cheaters] No
[Clue] Hm, well, as I said, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. And it's never been illegal to be one - there'd be no way to enforce it
Is employment a factor?
[Employment] No, it's isn't.
Does wealth come into it?
[Wealth] Nope.
Cloning?
Apologies if we've asked already. Can't be bothered to scroll back
[Clones] No. That's super cold.
Is there something you have to wear to become one of these?
[Wearables] No. Ordinary clothes are fine
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