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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Too big to be lifted by one person? No. *audience laughter, and considerable muttering*
Made of wood? Yes.
Alive? No.
Revered? No.
Wood-chip mulch?
Is it normally carried on one's person?
Mulch? No.
Normally carried on one's person? No. *considerable laughter*
Sawdust?
The stump of a tree?
Sawdust? No.
Tree stump? No.
Is it a man-made object?
Man-made? Yes. *audience mutter a little, but are generally in agreement*
A cricket bat?
Long shot (over silly point)
Cricket bat? No.
Is it pointy?
A stack of wood for burning?
Some sort of container?
Pointy? No.
Proto-bonfire? No.
Container? No.
Is it made of fossilised wood?
Fossilised? No.
Is it functional?
A hedge?
Functional? Yes. (Perhaps not a word that would naturally come to mind for the AOTC, but that has to be the best answer.)
Hedge? No (not alive, remember).
I'll also slightly qualify my answer to the "Pointy?" question to add a parenthetical "well, sometimes, sort of". Probably not helpful, though; just trying to pre-empt appeals at the end of the round.
Used for a game?
A weapon?
Is it edible for human consumption?
Used for game? Yes. *applause*
Weapon? No.
Edible? No.
A Pooh-stick?
A caber?
Pooh stick? No *laughter*
A caber? Yes! *applause*
I now have this image of highlanders playing poohsticks with cabers tossed over the side of the Forth Bridge.

I was handed a very long wooden baton, and I now hand on a shorter—but still very long!—wooden baton to Bismarck.
This thing could do with some handles, you know. Also its swishability is lacking somewhat. But on we go!
This is VEGETABLE with a bit of ANIMAL and MINERAL thrown in as accessories.
Is it an area of woodland?
Just in case trees are the current trend.
Smokey bacon crisps?
A Trifid?
A manufactured item?
Worcestershire sauce?
A recipe book?
Does it begin with S?
Is it portable by an average human?
Lights out - round 1!
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] No.
[Software] No.
[Rosie] Yes.
[nights] No.
[Simons] No.
[Tuj] No.
[Superman] Yes.
A pleasing symmetry in those answers.
Is it found in a typical household?
Is it made to be eaten?
It is mainly made of wood?
They keep a-comin'
[Rosie] Not uncommonly.
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] Yes.
Is it used for a game or sport?
Is it a tool, or part of a tool?
Is it piece of furniture?
The Noes have it
[Tuj] No.
[Raak] No.
[Radox] No.
Foldable?
It is a human artefact?
Oops, that ws effectively answered yes already.
Is it ornamental?
Is it functional?
Ducks redux
[Simons] No.
[Raak] Yes, and then No.
[Chalky] Ain't everything... Yes.
A hatstand?
A walking stick?
Generally of a stick-like form?
Is it (intentionally) combustible?
Does it belong in the garden?
Owed to joy
[Rosie] No.
[Software] No.
[Rak] No.
[nights] No.
[Radox] No.
Is the animal part leather?
A kitchen item?
Generally of a ball-like form?
Uncanny unanimity
[Software] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] No.
Is the animal part hair?
Is it smaller than a house brick?
The burden of the animals
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
A musical instrument?
A footstool?
An applau
[Simons] YES. The audience claps and sways.
[Software] No.
A stringed instrument?
Woodwind?
A guitar?
Violin?
A ton of applause
[Raak] Yes.
[Boolbar] No.
[Rosie] Yes! But there are two words on the card.
[Software] No.
Flying V?
A bass guitar?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] Possibly a version.
Is one of the words "guitar"?
A Fender?
Is one of the words 'dusty', 'forgotten' or similar?
speaking as part of the non-musical contingent
Does the first word on the card begin with 'A'?
And now the end is near
[Raak] Yes.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
[Dujon] No.
Acoustic guitar?
Spanish guitar?
Lo hiciste a tu manera
[Software] Yes, but not the answer on the card.
[Rosie] Si! Si! The audience stamps and claps, Rosie has won.

With a rose between your teeth, take this baton and lead us in an impromptu paso doble.

Arglwydd Mawr, dw'i wedi ennill. Be' sy'n ddigwydd?
Hidden textGood Lord, I won. Woss going on?

And the next object is

ABSTRACT

.
Is it Welsh?
(R the G) Welsh? NO. Looks more Latin-based to me.
Did Kant refer to it in any of his works?
(Superman) Not having read all of Kant (or any of it, actually) I can't say but the answer is very likely NO.
Does it have more syllables than 'breadbin'?
Is it owt do wi' art?
Did it originate in the bible or Shakespeare?
(SM) YES, it certainly does.
(Dujon) You cannot be serious. NO.
(Boolbar) I very much doubt it so let's just say NO.
Is it the steam that's on a winter's morning gently rises from the chimney of a steam engine which has just started to heat up for its first run up to York?
A well known phrase or saying?
A load of bollocks?
From Wales?
(R the G) Alas, NO. That's smoke BTW. Lighting up a steam loco is a dirty job.
(Boolbar) NOT a well-known phrase or saying.
(Softers) Generally, though not always, YES.
(Raak) NO. Not location-specific.
To do with current affairs?
(Raak) Current affairs? YES. *audience gets rather animated*
Democracy?
(Dujon) NO, not democracy.
Political rhetoric?
Social Media related?
(Softers) Political? YES. Rhetoric? NO.
(Boolbar) NO. Predates social media by quite a lot.
So nowt to do with Boris "not a complete clown" Johnson then.
(Raak) Not a thing. Nice link, BTW.
Does it involve death?
Does it have royal connections?
(Superman) - NO link with death.
(SM) - NO royal connections.
A Political Ideal?
Was this linked to a specific event?
Something to do with voters?
(Chalky) A political ideal? Very often, YES. *audience sit up and take notice*
(Bismarck) A specific event? NO.
(Boolbar) YES, quite a lot to do with voters. *even more buzz from the audience.*
Votes for women?
A ballot of some sort?
Universal suffrage?
Brexit Opportunities?
We do have a new smarmy incumbent, after all.
(Superman) Votes for women? NO.
(Duj) NOT a ballot.
(Raak) NOT universal suffrage.
(Softers) Brexit Opportunities? I think they'd keep quiet about it, so NO.
A method of voting?
(Simons Mith) A method of voting? NO.
Manifestos?
Elections?
Simons Mith has it! The AOTC is actually A Manifesto but that's near enough. I hand you the baton, now reduced to a worthless scroll of A4.
Oh look, it's got 'get Brexit done' scribbled on it in crayon.
Anyway, the next one for your delectation is ANIMAL.
Is it you?
No; too delectable.
Human?
Human - yes.
Alive at this moment?
Is it a specific person?
Alive - Yes
Specific - No
The members of some organisation?
A clan or tribe?
Is it more than 1000 people?
Organization - No
Clan - No
>1000? - No
A sports team?
sporty - No
Flat-Earthers?
Music related?
Honest politicians?
flat, musical or honest - all no.
The inhabitants of some small remote place?
Do they share the same name?
remote, common name: no again. A word related to the AOTC does come from a 'group' with a shared name. This is too broad to be a hint IMV - it's just a side observation.
Are all members of this group alive now?
Is it a group which one has to apply to to become a member?
[Alive, alive-o] Nup.
[Exclusive] Nu-uh.
Prime Ministers?
All the winners of some competition or honour?
[PM, winners] No and no.
Connections with TV or Radio?
[media] Nope.
From a specific country?
Are there more than five members of this group currently alive?
[Rosie]
Hidden textYou show surprising faith in humanity if you think there are fewer than 1000 flat-earthers out there. :)
Anything to do with hats?
[country, hatty] No and no
[5 alive] Yes.
To clarify, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. How many AOTCs there actually are would be difficult to estimate.
Presidents of the USA?
Is it a profession?
[presidenty, professional] No and no
Is it a one word answer?
[one-word] Yes.
Is it a physical characteristic that links this group?
Is it a psychological characteristic?
[Physical] On balance, no.
[Psychological] ... On balance, yes. Did have to think about that
Age related?
Sport related?
My turn soon to manage Watford.
[Agey, sporty] Nah, twice.
Fans of something?
Royalty?
[Fans, royals] Nope, everyone's still dead cold.
So alive on the 15th Feb but dead now? Or are we barking up the wrong tree?
Looking at previous answers. Woof Woof!
Any political connection?
The Illuminati?
Following Boolbar's logic! And Rosie, why bother with Watford when you can buy Chelsea?
Is being a member of this group something that an individual can choose?
[alive and yet not] Treating that as a question, I think it highly probable that some AOTCs have met their end in the last few weeks, so, Yes.
[political] No.
[Illuminatuses] No
[a matter of choice] Tricky. A hesitant Yes.
Centenarians?
(Bis) I think that nice Mr Abramovich may be asking a little more than my current budget. Chelsea fan since 1957, BTW.
Connected with space travel?
[Rosie] age-related question - see above.
[Aaaaaaaage] Nope.
[Spaaaaaaace] Negatory, Houston
Connected with hair?
Stunt-men?
crime-related?
[hair-related] No
[stunt-related] Nay
[crime-related] Yes (Claps from the audience)
People on death row?
People let out on parole?
The Kray gang?
UK crime?
[Death row] No
[Parolees] No
[Krays] No
[UK] Nope.
Is the crime organized?
Related to transport?
[organized] No
[transport] No
Kleptomania?
Cannibalism?
Did the crime exist in the 19th century?
[Kleptomania] No
[Cannibalism] No
[19th Century] Not sure how to answer. I did start with a firm no but then changed my mind to yes.
Related to financial fraud?
[Frodulence] Nay
Treason?
[Treason] No, not especially associated with that either.
Are we looking for victims of a crime?
[victoms] Nope.
British?
[British] No, not really.
Does it end with a Y?
[-y?] No, they don't.
Does it begin with ... (*rolls 26-sided die*) ... P?
Trespassers?
[Trespassers] No. (Half a clap from the audience)
[Begins with P] No.
Anything to do with war?
Anti-vaxers?
[warlike] Not really
[antiva] Nope
Do they steal something physical?
[Forth from his den to steal he stole,
His bag full of clink he clunk
And many a wicked smile he smole
And many a wink he wunk.
—How the Thief Thove] No.
(this space intentionally left blank)
Your poem led me to this curious issue of an old magazine. I cannot be sure if it is genuine or a complete invention. There are many places on the web where the poem can be found in various versions, but "How the Thief Thove" gets just this one hit.
Those thivin' thieves
My version was from a comic miscellany (Presto!) collected by Peter Dickinson, pub. 1975, Hutchinson. An old book I'm very fond of.
Thovery
A Google search for "smole wunk" turns up a bunch of variants, including in the Transcript of Proceedings of the National Railway Labour Panel Emergency Board.
Identity theft?
That all seems like a promising idea for the next V Difficult Poems on the other side.
[identity], No, they not thivs
Do these people enjoy political power?
[power] Nope.
Squatters?
[Squatters] No, more likely to be slouchers
Transportation?
[Transportation] No.
Hackers?
[Hackers] A clever guess, but no.
Julian Assange?
[Assange] Nuh uh.
Gizza Clue?
Do they cheat in some game or competition?
[Cheaters] No
[Clue] Hm, well, as I said, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. And it's never been illegal to be one - there'd be no way to enforce it
Is employment a factor?
[Employment] No, it's isn't.
Does wealth come into it?
[Wealth] Nope.
Cloning?
Apologies if we've asked already. Can't be bothered to scroll back
[Clones] No. That's super cold.
Is there something you have to wear to become one of these?
[Wearables] No. Ordinary clothes are fine
Is sitting down a requirement to be this?
[Sitting] No, you don't need to be sat.
Profiteering?
[Profiteers] No. Warmer than cloning, but no.
Communism?
Identity Thief?
Talking to myself now :-)
[ID Teef] No. In terms of warmness that's between cloning and profiteering, but all three are dead cold.
[Commies] No.
Does this apply to a particular country or region?
Bismarck did Identity theft some weeks ago, too.
[National or regional?] No, either way.
Not UK was identified some time ago. Is this 'thing' American?
Queue jumpers?
[USAnian] No, not very American either
[Queue jumpers] No.
Ghosts?
In order to be the AOTC, do they create something?
[Ghosts] No.
[Creators] No.
Recrap
We seek a single word that describes a human, with a link to crime, but no specific crime we have yet been able to come up with - indeed these people, of whom a few are alive at the moment, cannot be accused of a crime themselves as there is no enforcing it. Whatever it is they are engaged in, it was more prevalent after 1900, and it has a psychological side to it. Not linked to a country, doesn't begin with P, and the type of person sought is less delectable than Mith himself.
on balance, this gets the score "1/10. See me after class with your parents, guardians, house pets and anybody else I can shout at and blame."
Yeah, pretty good summary
I think "I give up" should be the 'winning' move, and maybe we should give this game a rest. This thing is nowhere near as obscure as some of the stuff the community has solved without even breaking sweat. We successfully got 'whatnot' for one.

Do you give up?

Is it people who give up rather than persevering?
[Givers-up] No... but they are rarely among life's winners.
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