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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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A spaghetti dish?
Bool: NO.
Lasagne/Lasagna ?
Gusset: YES. *Audience in resounding applause*
Lasagne pescatore?
Bis: NO.
Lasagna vegetarian?
Close enough
I was specifically going for "Vegan Lasagna" (with non-dairy Ricotta and TVP-like meat), but I figure with this lot it'd be a bit too pedantic.

Superman takes the victory and the next subject!

Oh like wow
I'd just like to thank you. And my lawyer. And my mother. And my brain surgeon. Without you it wouldn't be the same. And to all those millions who have contributed to this success, you're wonderful. Most of you are anyway. I sincerely hope vague praise is enough for you, because I'm keeping the rest.

But on with the show! Now greater, better, yellower, and it's...
ANIMAL !
Is it Tuj asking if it begins with P?
Edible?
Mammal?
Can you eat it?
Human?
Can you eat it? I dunno. Stupid old fool.
Unique?
Is it alive?
Incidentally, my first post in this game for nearly 17 months. oops!
Hello class
Your marks, in order:
[Boolbar] NO, leave Tuj alone.
[Raak] YES, but even so wait for lunch break
[Rosie] NO, we are not cannibals, and do fifty lines "I must not insult myself, others are there to do it"
[Tuj] NO, there are uncounted examples
[Phil] YES, unlike certain pupils in class 2B. Don't forget to give your name for the register.
Yeah, but is it human?
If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?
[Rosie] NO, now move on to exercise two.
[CdM] I see you have reached exercise 421, well done! NO, of course. Maybe you can sit next to Rosie and help him along.
Repeating: Mammal?
Is it a fish?
[Drq] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Is it a bird?
Hmm, so you answered "No" to 'If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?'. So you would not say "No" (ie. you would say "Yes"*) to the question "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?". Hence it does begin with "P".
* Or you might have answered "Maybe" which throws any attempt at logic out of the window.
A parrot, dead perhaps?
Does it fly?
Is it alive?
Ill logic
[Boolbar] I always wondered if "Bool" meant a Boolean logical construct and "bar" meant the logical inverse of that construct, thus permitting the assumption about the local valid of "true" and "false" of the "Boolbar" referential. Is it true?
[Software] NO, unwanted dead or alive.
[Raak] It does not fly of its own accord.
[Bismarck] Dead or alive makes no difference, it's the name of the thing I'm after.
Does it begin with P?
Hopefully collapsing the waveform.
Repeating: Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Catching up
[Boolbar] NOT a bird.
[DrQxm] Colour is not important.
[Tuj] One of the words on the card does.
A mushroom or fungus?
Macroscopic?
[Bism] NO, not fungus. [DrQx] errrmmm... This cannot be seen by the unaided eye.
botulism?
Applause from the audience
[Software] NO.
A bacterium?
A virus?
[Bismarck] Yes! Audience start clapping.
[Raak] NO.
Yeast?
Salmonella?
Clostridium botulinum?
Would Porton Down take any interest in it?
Wee beasties
[Raak] NO, that's a fungus.
[Software] NO, this won't poison you.
[Rosie] NO.
[drquuxum] NO, though for all I know they might take a passing interest.
Amoeba?
Does it have a flagellum?
[Raak] NO, amoebae are eukaryotic.
[drquuxum] NO flagella.
E. coli?
Streptococcus thermophilus?
Back-to-bacteria
[Raak] Audience starts clapping, but it's NO.
[Software] Audience now cheering! Still NO.
Staph?
Lactobacillus delbrueckii subsp. bulgaricus?
?
[Raak] N.
[Software] NO. You were hot, but you're cooling.
Reminder: One of the words begins with Tuj P.
Pneumococcus?
Oohs from the audience
[drquuxum] NO, we're going around the answer without quite getting there.
Streptococcus pneumoniae?
© Lurkers Я Us
Top of the class
CdM has it! Streptococcus pneumoniae it is. Take this very small baton along with the Mrs Joyful prize for raffia work and look smug over there while the audience applauds.
Uh-oh
Well, that technically wasn't quite a lurker's victory, because I did ask one previous question. But I have been basically absent here for a long time and have almost forgotten how to play this game. Let's go for an ABSTRACT with ANIMAL AND MINERAL CONNECTIONS.
Medusa?
Stony silence from the audience
Medusa? No.
On reflection it might be more accurate to call this: ABSTRACT and partly MINERAL (with ANIMAL connections).
Is it art?
The audience doesn’t know, but they do know what they like
Art? No.
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
Is it a representation, in a mineral substance, of an animal?
The green eye of the little yellow god?
Well-known phrase or saying? The words on the card make up a 12-word phrase (including the definite article) that is certainly not a well-known phrase or saying. However, I will also accept other shorter and more familiar phrases (the most common of which is five words long, including the definite article). That said, the point of the answer is not that it is a well-known phrase, if you see what I mean.
Mineral representation of an animal? *smattering of applause* The mineral piece does include a representation of an animal.
Green eye of yellow god? No.
Is this a part of Arthurian legend?
Arthurian? No. *a slight smile appears briefly on the face of a particularly well informed audience member*
Does it exist on this earth?
Is it a representative symbol or logo?
Earthly? Yes.
Swoosh? No.
Is it part of some other body of legend?
Legendary? No. (You should ignore the smiling audience member; I guarantee it won't help.)
Is this found in the works of Shakespeare?
Shakespearean? No.
Is it representative of a person?
Representative of a person? *some audience applause*     Taking this first as a narrow question, following on Raak's question before last, I would now amend my answer to say: Yes, The mineral piece does include a representation of an person. Thinking about the AOTC more generally, it depends a bit on how you interpret the word "representative", but the best answer is No.
The demolishing of the statues of Civil War generals in the South of the United States?
A few o many words...
But is it art?
Would the AOTC have been known in the year 1950?
Confederasing? No.
Art? No. *some laughter from the more cynical members of the audience*
Known in 1950? No. *while this answer is indubitably correct, it nonetheless prompts some discussion in the audience*
Something to do with winning an award or a competition?
To do with winning award or competition? Yes. *sustained applause*
An Oscar?
Connected to a sporting event?
Oscar? No.
Sporting? No.
A trophy or medal of some sort?
Does this refer to them what has won a game on this here page?
Trophy or Medal? *applause* The mineral part of the answer is a medal.
Local game winner? *laughter* The AOTC is not a winner of an MC game. And I am highly confident that no game-winner here has one of the aforementioned medals.
Is this medal awarded for scientific achievement?
Is this medal awarded for bravery?
Is a new medal created for each recipient?
As opposed to passing it around.
Scientific achievement? Yes. *some laughter from exactly the same cynics who we’re laughing previously*
Bravery? No.
New medal for each recipient? Yes. *applause for the question*
The Swedish National Bank's Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel?
Also known as "The Nobel Prize in Economics".
Well, technically, my card says "Sverige Riksbank", which is why it has 12 words as advertised, not 13. But, YES, Raak now has a gold baton with his name inscribed on the edge.
Your Royal Highness, members of the Nobel committee, jealous also-rans, ladies and gentlemen. To begin a brief informal sketch of the work that led to this award, consider the topos of Liesenring-Schmethold operators over a symplectic manifold equipped with the Swale cohomology on its cotangent bundle...(contd. p.94)

The next is MINERAL.

Stone?
By volume, almost entirely stone.
Sculpted into the likeness of something, like me for instance?
Not a likeness.
Is it a mountain?
Not a mountain.
The pyramids?
A heavenly body?
[S] Not the pyramids.
[B] Not a heavenly body.
Inscribed in any way?
Is it unique?
Well solved, btw!
Does it possess Buddha-nature?
Is it a geological formation?
[R] Not inscribed.
[T] Unique.
[S] Mu.
[d] *applause* A geological formation.
Is it entirely within one country?
Is it a desert?
[B] Not within one country.
[d] Not a desert.
Was it formed within the last fifteen million years?
[S] Not formed within the last fifteen million years.
Is water or ice involved?
The African Rift Valley?
Long shot. I'm not sure how old that is.
[d] No water or ice involved, except incidentally.
[R] Not the African Rift Valley.
Is it primarily underground?
[d] I think you could say that any geological formation is primarily underground, even Mount Everest. If the question is whether it is entirely underground, the answer is no.
A specific archipelago?
[D] Not an archipelago.
Mountains?
[B] (Confers with Mycroft) Mountains would be part of it.
Big? (More than 1000 miles in any direction except up)
[R] (polite applause) Big.
A continent?
[C] (more applause) A continent.
Does this continent exist today?
[S] (even more applause) This continent does not exist today.
Rodinya?
[B] Not Rodinya.
Gondwanaland?
[R] Not Gondwanaland.
Pangaea?
Laurasia?
[S] Not Laurasia, but...
[B] Pangaea it is.
Moving quickly on a geological timescale, pausing only to thank the tectonic forces that fashioned this earth with the odd helping hand from extraterrestrial meteorites, read this carefully-arranged eruption which spells

ABSTRACT
(as well as trouble for a few geological theories when it's discovered).

Is it a thing known to exist on the planet Earth?
The theory expounded by the Flat Earth Society?
Themyscira?
Counter-Earth?
Hell?
Hadean epoch
Welcome, welcome to one and all.
[DrQ] It's abstract. Really quite abstract. So yes, if only in our minds.
[Duj] Not the flat-earthers.
[Boo] No Amazons here (with Black Friday coming, that may be a relief)
[Raak] Not our twin from the dark side.
[Gus] Topical in this epoch, but not relevant.
Is it a human feeling?
[Rosie] No, it isn't.
Is it something found in a work of fiction?
Archean eon approaching
[DrQ] It is often used as a word and a concept in many forms of writing.
Let me add that there is one word on the card.
Does it begin with M?
Does it end with M?
Utopia?
Is there an M in the AOTC anywhere?
Mesoarchaean
[Tuj], [Boolbar], [Gusset Login], there is no M.
[Raak]Utopia is nowhere to be seen.
Is it an emotion?
Is it something mythical?
Proterozoic
[Tuj] This cannot be felt.
[Raak] Your myth does not hit.
Is it something that you might find on this website?
[drquuxum] Most definitely.
Time?
Life appears with enough appendages to applaud
(Sup) NO, but the audience wakes up and claps. A bit.
Language?
Does the word on the card have more than six letters?
Wit?
[Boolbar] Not language.
[Superman] No.
[Rosie] Not wit.
Scattered applause here and there for all that.
Is it typographical in nature?
The Ding an sich?
Phanerozoic here, how are you?
Lots of good stuff coming now. Both on the right evolutionary branch.
[DrQuuxum] If you mean ems, ens and that sort of thing, no.
[Raak] No, though in a sense, as you taught us to say, isn't everything?
Is it a figure of speech?
[Tuj] I don't think you could call it that.
A guess?
Cambrian era, when all was Welsh
[Boolbar] Not a guess.
Is the word a noun?
Dinosauria?
[Superman] oh boy, the difficult one... No, but there is a phrase in which this gets nouned.
Is it the title of a film?
Any ideas for a plan of attack anybody?
Time for Snowball Earth
[Tuj] Not a film title. Doesn't begin with P either, but it does begin with a letter that is a rotation or reflection of P.
Beauty?
Tectonically...
[Bool] That's pretty good guess, in a way, but... No.
Could you say it was discovered?
Discovey of time
[Tuj] No. But someone did, I suppose. Probably Eve when you look back at it.
Evil?
[Raak] No, not the good answer.
Related to the Grim Reaper?
Is it a verb?
[Lurk] No, don't think so.
[Soup] no, but as in your previous question, there is a famous phrase where it is treated as a verb.
Does it begin with B?
[Boolbar] Yes!
I have not played this game before . . .
Is it Bang the Drum Slowly?
[KaShu] No but it doesn't half feel like it.
Banter?
Doesn't time fly
[Boolbar] No, still simpler, still more abstract.
Black?
Be?
[CdM] Not a colour.
[Boolbar] That's getting close in abstraction to the answer. Not a verb
Being?
[Raak] Unbearable lightness? No.
Begin?
Borrowing Raak's letters.
[Boolbar] No, but I regret it.
Does the answer on the card have exactly 1 letter "e" in it?
Random guessing now.
Anything to do with mathematics?
Anyone else have any ideas?
A move!
[Boolbar] No "e" whatever, nothing to do with maths.
Look, it begins with "b", it's short (hint: 3 letters), it's not a verb, a noun (notwithstanding a famous phrase in which it gets used as both a noun and a verb),or adjective and I'm regretting having used it. Not enough to give the answer?
But?
The winner
[Raak] finishes the game in style. That'll teach me to take something small and easy.
But...ah. The next is MINERAL.
Is this an astronomical body?
Not an astronomical body.
Unique?
Not unique.
Is it natural?
Not natural.
Predominantly made of metal?
IS it the Angel of the North?
[Tuj] Not predominantly metal.
[Bismarck] Not the AotN.
Are they still being made today?
Still made today.
Made largely of plastic?
Not largely plastic.
Larger than a toaster?
Can be larger than a toaster.
Is it made of brick?
Not made of brick.
Does it have moving parts?
No moving parts.
A piece of furniture?
Not furniture.
An ornament?
Stone?
[B] Can be an ornament.
[S] Not stone.
Made mostly of wood?
Smaller members of the audience fidget and ask, "Are we nearly there yet?" "Soon," say their parents unconvincingly.
Not at all made of wood.
Actually...
On further study, this IS made mostly of metal.
Does it begin with P?
Where these being made before the year 1900?
[T] Does not begin with P.
[B] (a ripple of applause) Were being made before 1900.
Used in the kitchen?
Not used in the kitchen.
Does it have glass in it?
Strictly speaking, the thing itself does not have glass in it.
Is it used to measure something?
Not used to measure anything.
A lamppost?
Not a lamppost.
Summary: mainly metal (but note the "strictly speaking" concerning the glass question), made now and before 1900 (perhaps predominantly the latter, judging by the audience reaction), can be larger than a toaster, not unique, not naturally occurring, no moving parts, not furniture, not a measuring device, not a kitchen item, not a lamppost.
Yeah, well, that pretty much sums it up, innit, Raak?
- A mirror?
Not a mirror.
Connected with illumination?
One could say that it is indirectly connected with illumination.
A window?
Not a window. More indirect than that.
Electrical?
Not electrical.
An oil lamp?
Not an oil lamp.
Usually used or found outdoors?
Not usually used or found outdoors.
Connected with a fireplace?
Nothing to do with a fireplace.
Something to do with beverages?
Nothing to do with beverages.

Hint: the connection with light might be the most promising approach.

Candles?
Does the light connection involve natural light?
[B] Not candles.
[R] Can involve natural light.
Is it connected with photography?
(The audience erupts at this sudden relief from their ordeal.)
It is connected with photography.
Some sort of reflector?
Not a reflector.
Camera lens?
Not a lens.
Photo paper?
(a ripple of applause) Not photo paper. (Made of metal, remember.)
A camera tripod?
(the audience sit with firmly folded arms.) Not a tripod.
A photo plate?
(applause) Yes, a type of photographic plate.
The audience fumes impatiently while the hare decides to take a nap just short of the finishing line.
A lantern slide?
Not a lantern slide.
A speculum?
Copper plate?
[B] Not a speculum.
[R] Yes, it is a copper plate.
A Daguerrotype?
YES, a daguerrotype. Have this framed daguerrotype of the baton used by the conductor at the opening ceremony of the Great Exhibition of 1851.
C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas daguerre. Oh yes it is.

Right then, the next one is

MINERAL with an ABSTRACT feel

A sculpture?
(Raak) Nice try but not a sculpture.
is it fictional?
(Superman) Fictional? NO, it's real.
Is it on planet Earth?
(Boolbar) On the earth? NO. *some audience titters*
Can it be seen from Earth?
Is it within planet Earth?
The centre of the Earth?
(Bismarck) Visible from earth? NO. *audience visibly animated*
(Boolbar) NOT within planet earth.
(Raak) NOT the centre of the earth.
The centre of the universe?
(Superman) Centre of the universe? Who knows where that is? It's not the AOTC.
Is it in our solar system?
(Tuj) YES, it's in the Solar System.
A dwarf planet?
Pertaining to the Moon?
(Boolbar) NOT a dwarf planet.
(Dujon) Pertaining to the moon? YES. *audience frenzy*
Tranquillity Base?
(Bismarck) Tranquility Base? NO.
Sounds like a mood-altering alkaloid.
Is it man-made?
(Superman) Man-made? NO.
The dark side of the moon?
(CdM) The dark side of the moon? CLOSE but no cigar. *Confused reaction from audience. Some fighting.*
Eclipse?
(Bismarck) Eclipse? NO.
A specific feature on the far side of the moon?
(CdM) NO, not a specific feature.
The moon itself?
(Superman) The moon itself? NO.
A crater?
(Boolbar) NO, not a crater.
A sea?
(Superman) NOT a sea. I have a feeling the questioners have run past the target.
The Moon-Earth Trojan points?
(Raak) Well, grab me by the Lagranges. Nothing so technical.
The near side of the moon?
(Raak) Near side of the moon? NO. *audience jumps up and down in frustration*
The centre of the moon?
*roll of drums* The Crescent moon?
The roughly 41% of the moon's surface not visible from Earth?
YES! The synchronously rotating BOOLBAR has it. It's The far side of the moon. OK, your go.
Oo! Let's end that phase and begin another. Something hopefully quick as I will be busy soon.

ABSTRACT ANIMAL

I'm not really sure how to play this
Is this a mythical creature?
How to Play
[KagomeShuko] Welcome. Others who've played more will correct me if I get this wrong I'm sure, but I think it's pretty straightforward - ask a question to narrow down the possibilities (just as you have!), then await the answer from Boolbar - later on make specific guesses, once you've an idea. Scroll back to earlier rounds for the flavour of it...
Q: Is it a heraldic animal?
Off to a flying start.
[KagomeShuko] Questions should be those which can be answered with a simple "Yes" or "No". Speaking of which...
(KagomeShuko) Mythical?  YES. But that wouldn't be the first thing you'd think of when the answer on the card is revealed. So I predict a lot of questions which are going to go down the wrong path.
(blamelewis) Heraldic?  NO.
A metaphorical animal?
I think it is better to say
Mythical creature? NO as the AOTC is not a creature of ancient myths itself, but belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth.
(Raak) A metaphorical animal? NO.
The komodo dragon?
As in a not so mythical beast, though I shall attempt to emblazon one on the family crest.
Dragging on.
(Bismarck) Komodo NO.
The Beast from the East?
Originating from a specific work of fiction?
Still skirting around the edges.
(Rosie) Cold weather? NO.
(Tuj) Originating from a specific work of fiction? YES.
Begins with P?
The Hydra?
Was the fiction concerned written in the last twenty years?
[Tuj] P? - pNO.
(Rosie) Hydra? NO.
(Superman) Last 20 years? The original origin, NO.
Are we looking for a family or genus of animals
(Superman) Family or genus? NO
Is it Frankenstein's Monster?
Wild guess :)
(blamelewis) Frankenstein's Monster? NO. But I believe we are starting to head a teeny tad in the right direction.
Double Identity?
Does this monster exist within the same body as a "Dr."?
(KagomeShuko) Monster/Dr.? NO (for both) but some of the audience got exited at the mention of double identity...
Is the source of the myth Scandinavian?
It's a mythtery.
(Superman) From Scandinavian myth? NO
Are we in the world of Tolkien?
(Knobbly) Tolkien related? NO
Is the original origin piece of fiction something that was originally published in English?
(blamelewis) Origin fiction in English? YES
Belonging to a class of mythical creatures, the specific animal was originally from an English piece of fiction from over twenty years ago (but possibly re-used since). Not a heraldic animal, nor a monster, not from Tolkien, not Scandinavian.
Is the animal a canine?
Was a song written about it?
Who let the dogs out?
Note : English language but not necessarily English. And as I put it "belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth" but that won't help much.
(Bismarck) Doggy? NO
(Bismarck) A song? YES (more of a by-product) and at least one other obscure and dreadful song that I know of.
Is the animal bit human?
Reckon the animal bit us the wrong track. There's bet free that aren't heraldic, or monstrous.
Auto-correct strikes again!
(Bismarck) Human? YES (in the broad sense of being human).
Audience give a hearty cheer.
Is it from Chaucer?
Or originally in American English?
Flying Chaucers
(blamelewis) Chaucer? NO   American English? YES
Is it a ghostly apparition in human form?
(blamelewis) Ghostly? Woo! NO
A figure in American folk tales, like John Bunyan?
(Bismarck) Folky? NO
Just to confuse: I've found that the AOTC was a ghost on one occasion but I doubt that will help anyone here.
Was the original American English story written in the 20th century?
[Superman] 20th Century? YES!
Transformation?
Is this a human that turns into another creature?
Is science fiction involved?
*Some of the audience hums at the mention of transformation*
(KagomeShuko) Human that turns into another creature? NO but within their history, the AOTC has had a few methods of "changing" :)
(Bismarck) Science fiction? Hmm, there are many Sci-fi elements that come into this, so it is involved, yes.
I thought this could be simple but I forgot the AOTC has had so much variation over the years.
Little green men?
(Superman) Little green men? I like your thinking, but NO. (The AOTC has met little green men though).
A superhero?
What is AOTC? And hatching?
Is transforming not necessarily transforming, but like hatching from an egg?
(KagomeShuko) AOTC = "Answer on the Card" or in other words : the answer you are looking for. As for the tiny hint about transforming: it is an everyday transformation that we are all capable of doing. The AOTC has a few nifty ways of doing it.
(Raak) Superhero? YES. *cue audience going wild with excitement*
Superman?
(If it's not that, I *bet* it's either a bird or a plane!)
(Superman) Superman? (NO) NO.
(blamelewis) No birds or planes, at least not that I can see. *some audience tittering*
The Incredible Hulk?
Having a smashing time
(Bismarck) Hulk? Incredibly NO.
Is the superhero concerned a baddie?
(Superman) Baddie? NO
A Marvel character?
A marvellous guess, but...
(Bismarck) Marvel? NO
This is bothering me. Everything I can think of that involves superhero persons changing doesn't involve little green men, and everything I can think of involving little green men doesn't involve changing. I'm stuck.
Can this superhero move incredibly fast?
Sorry... been busy
(Raak) Fast? YES. "Incredibly fast"? Possibly. The AOTC can move faster than us, some versions extremely fast. Not usually as fast as the previously mentioned Superman though.
(Bismarck) See note I made just above about changing to KagomeShuko. And "little green men" was only one or two story lines of many. Neither are particularly important in the grand scheme of things. Non-Marvel superhero : that does narrow things down a tad. :)
Anything to do with Star Trek?
Beam me up...
(Superman) Anything to do with Star Trek? NO. (Aside from any actors who have appeared in roles connected with both Star Trek and the AOTC. Oh, and the occasional transporter use.)
(sound of possible penny)
Is the hero occasionally invisible?
penny spins around...
(blamelewis) Invisible at times? *Some muttering in the audience* Well, the AOTC can't become invisible themselves but can use something they own to make themselves invisible (even though within comics and other media they are usually still visible, otherwise you'd be looking at scenery for a few frames!)
Caped crusaders - as a general class?
Supergirl?
(Superman) Caped crusader? Given that the AOTC comes from the same era as most of the famous caped crusaders and has often appeared alongside other caped crusaders then I guess they would belong to that class. However the AOTC does not usually wear a cape (except for ceremonial or official duties).
(Chalky) Nice to see you. And Supergirl? NO *Audience applauds guess though*
Catwoman?
Something from Thunderbirds?
(Raak)  Catwoman?  NO, but I have a comic with Catwoman fighting the AOTC on the cover...
(Bismarck)  Thunderbirds are NO.
Batgirl?
I think the "invisible thing" gave me the answer . . .
Is the AOTC Wonder Woman?
Merciful Minerva!
(Chalky) Batgirl? NO
(KagomeShuko) Wonder Woman? Great Hera! That is the right answer!

Let me pass you this invisible baton... which I'm sure I left around here somewhere.

I THINK I've got this, maybe? Sorry if I don't quite get it yet . . .
OCCUPATION ANIMAL
Is the animal a canine?
Some of the audience gets a little too excited at the mention of a number
A canine? Not even close.
Human?
Is it unique?
Human
The audience laughs, but also hums at human The animals itself isn't a human, but a human can certainly have that occupation.
Unique
There are certainly more than one person that holds the occupation and there are certainly more than one animal of this kind.
A donkey?
(KS) You are giving a little too much away. Your replies can be one-word if you want.
Hmm, I'd have to say that guess is a bit "Ass"inine.
Definitely not a donkey.
Would the word used for this animal also be used to describe an illicit carrier?
illicit
I've not heard of either word being one for an illicit carrier.
Does this animal provide any useful material?
This animal doesn't provide us with any useful materials.
A lion tamer?
Is the animal a bird?
Are we trying to guess a griffin here?
There' no lion about this - no lions and no birds.
Is it unicellular?
O HAI ERRYONE
Does it have a little light? :-)
Cells and lights . . .
While prison cells need more lights, this animal definitely has more than one cell (and nothing "uni" that I know) and definitely doesn't not have a light.
Is the animal a fish?
Here fishy, fishy
No fish jump into your boat. No fish here . . .
Is the animal a mammal?
Many members of the audience start questioning . . .
The animal itself isn't a mammal, but the descriptor of the animal in the front is . . .
Is this a mythological being or beings?
Nothing is mything. This animals is completely realistic.
Does politics come into this?
No politics at play - or work - or rest.
A hybrid creature?
Vroom Vroom
Hybrid? I thought those were cars . . .
Nope, not a hybrid creature
Does theatre come into it?
Four-legged?
Theatre? There's nothing theatre specific, though the creature might come into the theatre and the human descriptor might be in the theatre, too.
Audience oohs and ahs . . .
Four legs? Definitely not a four-legged creature.
An insect?
Is the human reference the word "man" or "woman"?
The audience leans towards Boolbar in anticipation
Yes, indeed, the animal is an insect!
The descriptor that is human could be either a man or a woman, but it doesn't contain either word.
Butterfly catcher?
Is this a flying beastie?
The audience makes uncertain noises
This animal definitely does not catch butterflies (nor is it a butterfly). It can fly, but it usually isn't common to see them flying - nor is it usually a good sign, but that always depends on where they are flying and why . . .
Some sort of beetle?
Nope, not a beetle.
Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home...?
Or stay put . . .
Not a ladybird or a ladybug. The human descriptor could refer to either gender and thing in total is two words, not one word.
Some type of ant?
Queen bee?
The audience gasps in anticpation
Not a bee, but definitely some type of ant! Getting warmer!!
The carpenter ant?
Ding! Ding! Ding! Winner, winner, Have a berliner!
Yes, indeed Bismarck, it is the Carpenter Ant!!!!
Well that was a surprise. Nice subject, thanks Mr Shuko. Here we go with a

MINERAL

objectithing for your ongoing delight.

Is it found on planet Earth?
Metalic?
Manufactured?
A spaceship built of stone?
[Boolbar] Earthly? YES.
[Software] Metallic? NO, not essentially.
[Rosie] Artificial? NO.
[Raak] NO. But a very good guess.
A meteorite?
?Oumuamua?
That should have been 'Oumuamua.
Is it in Australia?
Is it unique?
This might be over quite quickly...
[Rosie] NO, not a celestial object
[Raak] NO, see above
[Superman] YES, it's down under
[Tuj] YES, there can be only one.
Uluru?
Well blow down my didgeridoo
Yup, that was easy enough. Ayers Rock did finish a little-known Australian SF story called The Mountain Movers by being revealed as a stone space ship. Nevertheless Rosie gets there first and will take this boomerang-shaped baton for the next round. Well done!
Here we are at last
Talking of boomerangs, I made one in 1974 from instructions in the New Scientist, which explained the aerodynamics. I've still got it; it's probably under a pile of junk in the garage somewhere. It really works but you need an area the size of a football pitch and preferably no wind. Boomerangs are chiral, i.e. -handed and mine, to suit, is a southpaw. Having said all that, it's now deduction time.

The next object, which has but the most tenuous link with steam engines, is:

VEGETABLE and MINERAL

Who knows she (Yes, Bismarck, KagomeShuko is female) is not making any sense, but wanted to be silly
Is it a potato iron?
Salt and vinegar crisps?
A lemon battery?
A fossilized tree?
The Golden Arrow?
(KagomeSuko) Ace silliness, but wide of the mark by some distance.
(Raak) Well-known dehydrating agent? NO.
(Boolbar) Lemon battery? NO. Nor a Van de Grapefruit machine.
(Superman) NOT a fossilised tree.
(Softers) The flesh door? NO, not even when steam-hauled, alas.
Any wood (or trees) in this?
(Boolbar) There ought not to be. Basically, NO.
A bowl of vegetable soup?
Restaurant Car?
(Bismarck) Well, that's scrumptious thought but it ain't the answer.
(Softers) Not a restaurant car. You wouldn't get this in a decent restaurant car.
Coffee in a paper cup?
s/paper/plastic/
Is the mineral metal?
(Raak) Coffee in a paper cup. NO. *audience perks up*
(Superman) Mineral metal? NO. *some tittering among audience*
A carbonated beverage?
A beverage and its receptacle?
Mineral = stone?
(Boolbar) Carbonated beverage? Burp! NO.
(Raak) Beverage + receptacle? NO.
(Softers) Mineral not stone.
Is the mineral part glass?
(Bismarck) Glass? NO. *horrified laughs from the audience*
Is the vegetable human-edible?
Be it liquid at room temperature?
Lovely boomerang anecdote, Rosie :)
Massage oil?
Any chocolate in this?
(Superman) Veg part human edible? YES.*audience applause*
(Tuj) Liquid at room temperature? NO, but *some uncertain and quickly stifled audience reaction*
(Raak) NOT massage oil.
(Boolbar) Alas NO choccy.
(Tuj) I dug out the boomerang - it still exists. Tomorrow I'll see if I can still chuck it - theres a playing field at the back.
Is this anything to do with cookery?
[Rosie] Good luck with the boomerang. I got one as a lad and after reading the instructions and having a long debate about whether '5-15 degrees inclination' was from the vertical or the horizontal, I chucked it into a tree thirty yards away in a dead straight line.
(Bismarck) Cookery? Well, strictly YES, but I wouldn't quite dignifiy it with that term.

(boo meringues) I'm not sure the throwing angle is all that important but you must hold the asymmetric end and impart as much spin as possible. Mine is quite big (14" arms, 2" wide, marine ply) and I wouldn't like to be hit by it.

Is the mineral part edible?
(Bismarck) Mineral part edible? NO, though it probably wouldn't do you much harm.
Some sort of preserve?
[boomer angles] Many happy returns!
(Boolbar) NO, not a preserve.
Hidden textNot even a preserved steam engine
Is this something normally stored in a freezer
?
Clumsy fingers hitting first the enter key by mistake and then managing to bypass the "whoops" button.
Is the mineral part a wrapping?
I'm thinking British Rail sandwich...
(Boolbar) Store in a freezer? NO.
(simons Mith) Mineral part wrapping? Essesntially, YES, though this is not normally referred to as wrapping. But it's not a British Rail sandwich. *audience now showing considerable signs of animation*
q
oops
Is the mineral water?
(Raak) Is the mineral water what? Oh, I see. The mineral is NOT water.
A plastic-wrapped lettuce?
And the subsidiary question - is the mineral plastic?
Is the mineral part sand or soil?
(Superman) Plastic wrapped lettuce? NO. Subsidiaritily, NOT plastic.
(Boolbar) Mineral part NOT sand or soil.
Does the mineral part contain the vegetable part?
Could you swallow one whole?
Yes, I'm more baiting the audience than being useful, but at least I'm not asking about what letter it starts with.
(Raak) In one sense of the word "contain", YES.
(Tuj) You probably could but it would defeat the purpose of the AOTC and people would start worrying about you.
Is the AOTC usually spherical in shape?
(Boolbar) The AOTC is NEVER spherical.
Is the mneral part gold leaf?
(Raak) Mineral part gold leaf? NO, nothing so fancy.
Does it contain chocolate?
Is it something decorative?
(Raak) Contain chocolate? NO. *audience somewhat amused*
(Boolbar) Decorative? NO, very functional.
Is the mineral part made of crystals?
Is the mineral part an eggshell?
Is the mineral part clay?
(Boolbar) Mineral part made of crystals? NO.
(Raak) Mineral part an eggshell? NO.
(Superman) Clay? NOT made of clay.
Recap v1
I'm running out of ideas for minerals here. It's a sort of container but it's not made of any metal, plant material like paper of course, clay, crystal, soil, sand, stone, plastic, eggshell, or glass. What's left? The veggie bit is edible, but not chocolate or lettuce. The whole thing is functional and not spherical and has a link to cookery. It's not too big as you could swallow it whole.
Some sort of medication?
Is hot or boiling water used with the AOTC to make something else?
(Raak) NOT The Tablets.
(Boolbar) Hot water? YES. *audience goes wild*
Tea?
(Raak) Tea? YES, but not quite the AOTC. *audience goes even wilder*
Green Tea?
Is the mineral aluminium foil?
(Softers) NOT green tea.
(Raak) Mineral NOT aluminium (foil or any other form).
A tea caddy?
(Superman) A tea caddy? NO.
Is the mineral mixed with the tea?
(Raak) Mineral mixed with the tea? NO.
If you dropped one of these on a hard floor would it break?
(Raak) It would NOT break. *a few cruel audience sniggers*
Is the mineral rubber (synthetic, presumably)?
Is the mineral some sort of perforated container?
(Raak) NO, not rubber, synthetic or otherwise.
(Boolbar) Perforated container? YES. *audience goes completely potty*
A nylon teabag?
(Raak) Near enough. The AOTC is actually one of those accoutrements of haute cuisine, the teabag. I declare RAAK the winner and hand him the boiling kettle.
The next is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, ANIMAL, and ABSTRACT.
Is it everything?
[Boolbar] Not everything.
Animal = human?
Obviously not JRM or BoJo etc
[Software] Partly human.
The statue (Mineral) in my local park of someone riding a large cow and surrounded by other people (Animal) and carrying a cornucopia whence fall fruits of all kinds (Vegetable), which is entitled "Plenty" (Abstract)
[Bismarck] Not a statue.
Is it fictional?
[Boolbar] Can be fictional.
Are horses involved?
[Rosie] No horses (except perhaps abstractly).
Is it proverbial?
Is transport involved?
Not necessarily a steam train, of course.
[B] Not proverbial.
[R] In a sense, everything could be involved with this, but in the sense you're thinking, there is no transport involved.
A product of the brain?
[Dujon] Yes! A product of the brain.
An allegory? (AL / Leg / Egg / allegory)
[Superman] Not an allegory.
A dream?
[Rosie] Not a dream.
Perhaps I should note that the MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and ANIMAL aspects of this are not at all abstract. So not a dream, an allegory, a figure of speech, an idea, a philosophy, or a dread foreboding of doom.
Is the Mineral/Vegetable/Animal part a particular area and its contents?
[Boolbar] If I understand you, yes, this thing is made of its Mineral/Vegetable/Animal parts.
Does geography come into it?
[Bismarck] Geography does not specifically come into it.
Is it the Crown?
[SM] Not the Crown.
Does it cost a lot?
[Superman] Yes, one of these does cost a lot. (This is not a unique object.)
A mind map?
An image of The Buddha?
Long shot.
[S] Not a mind map.
[R] Not an image of the Buddha.
A private island?
[Superman] Not a private island.
An island?
[Boolbar] Not an island of any sort. Not a geographical feature, in fact.
Do these objects have strong links to reproduction?
[Dujon] No link to reproduction.
Any connection to research?
Do you own one?
[Rosie] applause! YES, there is a connection to research.
[Tuj] Yes, I think I could reasonably claim to have one.
A library?
[Rosie] Yes, a library. Have this scroll containing the rules to Mornington Crescent, rescued from the Library of Alexandria.
I say! Bravo, R & R
(Raak) A valuable historic document. Trouble is I can't lift it.

Forever onwards with ABSTRACT with strong ANIMAL connections

.
Is it an ostrich that has yet to be spotted?
Is it wild?
(Boolbar) The elusive ostrich? Unsurprisingly, NO.
Bismarck) *audience cackles* In a restricted sense, to some people, YES .
Rewilding?
Is it fictional?
(Raak) Rewilding? NO.
(Tuj) Fictional? This question is intrinsically unanswerable with present knowledge.
Is it associated with a particular animal species?
Well! There's an intriguing response.
Is it a story of uncertain factuality?
Extraterrestrial?
(Tuj) Particular animal species? YES, but that's not actually very helpful.
(Raak) Uncertain factuality? YES. *mixed audience reaction. Some murmurs of approval; some belly laughs*
(Boolbar) Extraterrestrial? NO, very much earth-bound.
A shaggy dog story?
A stand-up comic's act?
Is it a future event?
Does death play a part in this?
(Superman) Shaggy dog story? NO.
(Raak) Stand-up? *some suppressed giggling* NO.
Tuj) A future event? NOT KNOWN. It is certainly a possibility.
(Dujon) Death? NO.
Is a specific individual involved?
(Raak) Specific individual? NO.
Is sex involved?
(Superman) Sex? The mind boggles. NO, none whatever.
The afterlife?
(Raak) NO, not the afterlife. *cynical giggles from some of the audience*
A prophesy?
The horsemen of the Apocalypse?
(Raak) Some prophecies have been made in relation to this but essentially NO.
(Bismarck) NO, no gee-gees.
Is it related to politics?
(Tuj) Related to politics? YES. *prolonged audience applause*
Related to Brexit?
(Raak) Well, I think that's near enough. It is actually BREXIT and I hand you this toxic stick. Wear gloves.
looks for a Brexiteer's arse to bury it in

The next is MINERAL (I think, mostly) with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it found on the Earth?
It is found on the Earth.
Is it in Europe?
Is it a weapon?
[B] Some are in Europe.
[S] Hmm...not, strictly speaking, a weapon.
Is it a geographical feature?
[Rosie] Not a geographical feature.
A meteorite?
[Software] Not a meteorite.
Is it a monument?
[Bismarck] Not a monument.
Human made?
[Boolbar] Yes, human made.
Did it originate in Germany?
[Superman] Not from Germany.
Is it predominantly metal?
[Tuj] Not metal.
Did any of these exist over 1000 years ago?
[Boolbar] None of them existed over 1000 years ago.
Millennium Stones?
[Software] Not Millennium Stones (whatever those are).
Is it a work of art?
[Rosie] applause! It is art.
One or more Henry Moore mobiles?
[Bismarck] Not by Henry Moore. Not a mobile.
Does it have any watery connections?
[SM] No watery connections.
Is it an island wrapped by Christoph?
[Superman] Not an island wrapped by Christoph.
Is it associated with any particular date(s)?
Is it a representation of a fictional character?
[SM] No particular date.
[B] Some examples are representations of fictional characters.
Are these all by one artist?
[Boolbar] Applause! Works of a particular artist.
The Dali museum in Barcelona?
[Bismarck] Not Dali.
Hm, are they Banksies?
[SM] A winner! Yes, A Banksy graffito is the words on the card. Excuse me while I run this baton through a woodchipper before presenting it.
Whoops, now I've gotta think of one.

Um.

OK. These are usually MINERAL.

Even worse, I gotta remember what I picked!
Garden Gnomes?
Decorative?
Stones?
No again.
Trolls?
... No.
Found on Earth?
Oh good, a YES at last. Found on Earth.
Is there just one of these?
No, many.
Are these likely to be found in Antarctica?
No, not likely. (Very minor hint in comments)
Man-made?
YES, without exception. Well, um, except for all the ones that are woman-made, or any other gender variations.
Is it likely to be found in the home of an average Morniverser, if there is such a thing?
Yep, they're present even in a Crescenter's house.
Used for preparing or eating food?
YES. [Applause]
A chopping board?
No. Besides, I wouldn't have said chopping boards were usually mineral; I'd tend to assume wooden first, mineral second.
Is it a cast iron pan?
Nuh uh.
A container?
A tool for turning pieces of food into smaller pieces of food?
A piece of cutlery?
[Raak] Not really. [Bismarck] YES. [Audience checks contract, then whoops stamps and cheers.]
A Fork?
Which way shall I go?
No, not a fork. You're so close!
A spork?
I thought that might happen :-)
No. But you're even closer than Boolbar was.
A sporknife?
No, and it's probably not spopsticks either.
Does this magnificent utensil have a brand name ending in "ayd"
[Dujon] Alas, no.
Does it rhyme with 'swoon'?
YES! [Stretchers arrive to ferry out a couple of audience members who fainted from excitement.]
Can it be preceded by the word "dessert"?
YES, it can. By Jove you're really narrowing it down now.
Can it be made from wood?
I can see a theme coming through here.. it must be a - but I'll let Raak answer that.
Wood? YES.
Has the existence of this thing been notably denied?
Can this object be bent, as if by magic?
YES. They may even have been a Japanese anime about it, although I could be wrong there.
[Raak] Utensil denial: YES.
Should one count these at the end of a dinner party, especially if a guest has talked overmuch of his honour?
Utensil census: YES.
Can two of these be used as a makeshift percussion instrument?
Utensil chorus: YES.
A fpoon?
CdM if the winner!
Utenfil claffification: YEF!
I waf ftarting to get worried you wouldn't get it.

Thankf to the great generofity of Raak I have hundredf of tiny (but rather fplintery) batonf to paff over. Here, have thif one.

Fo clofe yet fo far ;^)
Ahem *taps micro* Chalky? You there?
Well I have plenty more tiny batons if anyone else wants one...
[CdM] Is it the concept of suspense?
How about a Collective Consciousness round?
I shall channel my inner CdM and answer, NO.

Is it edible?

I can feel in my water...
that the answer is YES.

Is it an animal?

By the pricking of my thumbs...
that too is a YES

Does it begin with a P?
Consulting the seaweed...
Alas, that is a NO

Does it live in water?

The flight of the birds says...
that is also a NO

Is it a ...bird?

Tossing the I Ching sticks...
gives the answer YES.

Is it a duck?

NO, I don't think it's a duck.
Carry on, please
Yikes! Sorry! Forgot all about having made that guess.
Is it a well-known pie filling?
According to my latest tarot reading ..
It might be
Ha! I've got it - it's an ostrich, and it's over there!
*Escaping from pie factory*
Bugger! *hides in London underground network*
'S a tunnel. Scoddaby
Rural Lincolnshire invoked.
What, an edible tunnel? Lincs people are weird.
Well, that's golf for you. Is it......a NIBLICK?
Enough of ostriches
The next challenge is Animal

Is it human?
I was beginning to think that everyone had gone on strike.
No, Tuj, nor does it start with a 'P'.
Is it a mammal?
Is it an individual?
Does it... oh! Um... Is it alive?
(Boolbar) NO, Sir, although it might be described as such.
(Raak) NO
(Tuj)YES
Is it native to Australia?
Surprise! The audience gasps for air.
(Rosie) YES
Be it a monotreme?
Single stringed tremes
(Tuj) NO.Be it a treme or not, it don't lay no eggs, Sarr.
Was it once a treme but now a sadly burnt out ex-treme?
A marsupial?
Burnt alive?
(Rosie) NO. Is not New Orleans still jiving?
Pickpockets?
(Raak) YES.*The audience comes again alive*
A wallaby?
Gotta be. :-)
Hopping around the AOTC?
(Rosie) NO. *The audience sighs and goes back to sleep*
A collective noun of wombats?
Mythical?
Wombaticate dreaming?
(Bismarck) NO.
(Raak) NO, not at all - see the earlier answer to Tuj
In Australia?
*sighing*
(Software) I refer you to Rosie's first post in this game.
A quoll?
Quoll or quill the pen is mightier...
(Bismarck) NO.
Tasmanian Devil?
(Bismark) Sorry, been away
That Van Dieman fella?
Sorry, Softers, the answer is NO. In fact there are none of these animals on that wonderful island.
A mob of kangaroos?
Is it singular?
Individual
Individuals and 'roos
(Bismarck) Hardly (i.e. NO)
(Kago) Certainly not (i.e. also NO)
Koala?
Piss Pots?
(Software) YESSSS!
I pass to you a rough but furry baton. Be aware though that it has the propensity to leak.
Gosh! Is it me? I have been dozing.
Hmmm. Let me see: Ah, yes. Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connexions.
A human activity?
A piece of art?
An academic study of some kind?
42?
An alarm clock?
You deserved that, Software. :)
[Rosie]Something to do? Yes
[Bismark]Arty farty? No
[SM]Lurning? No
[Raak]Hitching? No
[Dujon]Wake up call? No
Physical law?
Anything to do with politics?
Related to agriculture?
[Raak] Physics? No
[Rosie] General incompetence? Up to a point, yes
[Dujon] Farmer Giles? No
Using a machine?
A law?
To do with Brexit?
[Superman] Mechanics? No.
[Bismarck] Legal? No (a smattering of weak claps in audience)
[Raak] The 'B' word? How dare you? No
A proverb?
[Raak] Proverbial? No
Bureaucracy?
Something to do with the armed forces?
[SM] Officialdom? - Yes (some of the audience clap)
[Dujon] Military? No
Hm, a little bit political and a little bit bureaucratic. But not military or educational. Religious?
An organization?
[SM] Faith? No (someone in the audience claps)
[Raak] Organization? No
The House of Commons?
[Bismarck] The madhouse? - Definitely No.
Red tape?
Health and Safety bollocks I mean culture?
I am on holiday for a couple of weeks so responses may be intermittent
[Duj] Officialdom? - No a smattering of weak claps from the audience)
[Rosie] More than my job's worth? - No
To do with a shared interest or activity?
I'm back!
[Raak]Common interest? YES some claps from audience
Are maps involved?
The Morniverse?
Sporting?
[Boolbar] Cartography? NO
[Raak] Here? NO but of course it does overlap with the AOTC
[Bismarck] Sporting? YES - in certain circumstances a few claps from the audience
Games of the board, card, and screen kind?
A trivia game?
A game of any other sort?
[All above] Nothing to do with games per se. A few claps from the audience
Distraction desperately engaged in to avoid despair at the sins of the world?
There might be a word for this, but I can't think what it is.
Commuting?
A shared human activity of a bureaucratic nature, possibly related to politics, which may involve sport or the Morniverse in some way.
[Raak] Hermit like? NO
[Superman] Daily grind? NO Hint: maybe the exact opposite - a couple of random claps from audience.
The Lotus Position ?
Competition?
Opposite of commuting ... hm, is that travelling for pleasure, or staying in one place while stuff comes to you? Visiting ? Having things delivered ?
Online shopping?
[To expand on the thought I had earlier]
[SM] Lazy mall? NO audience chuckles I suppose this could be an aspect of the AOTC which BTW has two words.
How remiss of me. * cleans glasses *
[Bismarck] Yoga stuff? - NO
[Dujon] Adversaries?- NO
Are we losing the will to live
Computers?
[Superman] Computers - NO.
Hint: AOTC 2 words. There is a limited number of these. The term refers to the UK only.
Give way?
Is there a connection to the calendar?
[Bismarck] Road signage, I presume. - NO
[SM] Dates? - YES * audience claps furiously *
A bank holiday?
Bingo!
[Bismarck] You are on the money. Hands over damp baton.
Oohh, ta ever so much. I'll spend the money down at the seaside.
The game commences...
This one is Vegetable in its essence.
Is it tomato ketchup?
Is it alive?
Is it something extracted from a plant?
Beginning with 'P'?
Is it cubic?
[Simons Mith] NOT a table condiment.
[Rosie] NOT living.
[Raak] YES, it is extracted from a plant.
[Software] NOT beginning with "P".
The audience that made it back from the interval are engaged in polite applause.
Does it begin with E?
[Softers] Cheeky :D
[Tuj] Nice to hear from you. Let me state that there are two words on the card, NEITHER beginning with "E".
A spice?
Is it cubic and am I repeating myself?
A poison?
Is this generally brewed in hot water prior to ingestion?
[Raak] NOT a spice.
[Boolbar 1] NOT cubic, though this does usually have a geometric shape.
[Boolbar 2] Sorry, dear.
[Rosie] NOT a poison.
[Dujon] NOT a hot drink, but it is cooked involving a little water. The audience is still showing signs of interest.
Pasta?
Processed in some way?
[Raak] NO, definitely not Italian.
[Software] Hmmm... YES, on balance, in the sense that this requires mixing of ingredients and cooking.
The audience is maintaining a polite silence.
A cake?
Bovril?
A primary ingredient like sugar for example?
[Raak] NOT a cake.
[Super] NOT Bovril.
[Software] NOT sugar, though it is the major ingredient.
Smartphones have made their appearance among the audience. Bored? Surely not...
Is fruit involved?
Fairy/Candy Floss?
[Raak] NO, not as such.
[Dijon] NO, but that deserves a round of applause.
Hoots and skirls from the Scots in the audience, mumbles of approval from the Yorkshiremen. Some muted cries of "Not bad!" from the polite seats.
Glacé cherries?
A well-known Scottish delicacy, they are.
Hot chocolate?
A sugar basket?
[S.M.] NO, Nice try but no fruit.
[SW] NO, not a drink.
[R] Getting close, at least as far as the sugar goes, but a bit too high-class. Still a NO.
The part of the audience who know what a sugar basket is give a restrained round of applause.
… Glacé potatoes?
1) Toffee? 2) Everton mints?
[SimonsM] Sell that idea to McCain's!
[Simons Mith] NO. Great idea though.
[Superman] Nice thinking! Toffee is almost a yes, it could be argued that it's an ingredient, Everton mints are getting closer, but NO!
The interest of the audience is being maintained, with some "Ooohs!" showing their appreciation.
So not glacé haggis either. Fudge
Tablet?
Scotch tablet?
(The second of those was supposed to replace the first. )
Caramel?
[Simons Mith] NOT fudge. Quite the opposite, down-to-earth sort of thing, this.
[Raak] NO, although that is the name of the next-but-one release of Android (with built-in joke).
[Software] NOT caramel.
This is all going a bit soft. Murmurs heard among the audience.
A boiled sweet?
[Raak] YES it is made in that way.
Sensation in the audience.
Audience snoring
Two words on the card...
Is it some sort of mint?
[Boolbar] Maybe mint flavouring is available, but the AOTC is not actually a mint.
Hint: it doesn't come from Yorkshire
Brighton Rock?
[CdM] What, the book by Graham Greene? But seriously, NO, but that is so close. Try a different coast.
Audience give thunderous applause.
Gone quiet in here...
Jailhouse Rock?
Surely there's a prison somewhere that makes its own...
Does the name on the rock also relate to a tower?
Is the place one of which John Clute, the science fiction critic, remarked that it was the first time he had seen pigeons pecking at human vomit in the streets?
[Simon's Mith] No, although there is a prison not too far away.
[Dujon] Yes indeed.
[Raak] Among other things Mr Clute was shocked at, yes indeed. No doubt Canada is more cultured.
A polite hush descends, breathlessly awaiting the answer...
Plymouth Rock?
Got it, surely!!
The tranquillity is breached by [CdM] getting it wrong. Not Inchcape Rock, Fraggle Rock or any other mineral, just to save you the trouble.
Audience murmurs reach force three.
Morecambe Rock?
Liverpool rock's more usually termed 'Mersey Beat', isn't it?
[CdM] YES!! Actually NO, but I'm getting fed up.
[Simon's Mith] Other than those witnesses to global warming, the Arctic Monkeys. Please stick to the subject.
The audience has formed an action group and are shouting "What do we want? The Answer! When do we want it? NOW!"
Fleetwood Rock?
Am I getting warmer?
Blackpool Rock
Gotta be!
I was going to say that CdM was close enough for me, but Blackpool rock it is, so Rosie cannot be denied. Rosie will now take this sweet baton (not that end, I've been sucking it there) and note that it has the word WINNER written all the way through!
Audience clap Rosie politely
Good heavens, I've won. There's lucky, inni' aye.

We'd better quickly have another one.

This is ABSTRACT and absolutely nothing whatever to do with steam engines.

Everything that has nothing whatever to do with steam engines?
(CdM) Multiple Choice answers are forbidden in that they violate the essential rigour of the Morniverse.
Does music come into it?
(Superman) Music? NO.
Philosophical?
(Bismark) NO, nothing to do with philosophy.
Would this be related to the sub-conscience rather than conscienceness?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with thought processes.
Is it a method or plan of some kind?
(Simons Mith) No, not a method or plan.
A saying?
(Raak) NOT a saying.
Weather related?
A measurement?
(Boolbar) Weather related? YES. *thunderous (sic) applause*
(Simons Mith) A measurement? YES. *slight murmurs of disapproval*
A record?
(Raak) NO, not a record.
Is it localised?
(Bismarck) Localised? YES, sort of.
The eye of a hurricane?
Climate change?
(CdM) NOT the eye of a hurricane.
(Raak) NOT Climate Change.
Is it too darn hot?
(Superman) Too darn hot? NO, but *considerable audience murmurings*
Something meteorologists do?
(Raak) Something meteorologists do? NO. The AOTC is one word, a noun.
Scorchio?
... actually that's a verb. Wrong again. Hi Rosie
Is it 'isobar'?
(Chalky) Hello, m'dear, nice to see you again. Unfortunately your suggestion is wrong. Isn't scorchio an adjective? If I may indulge myself I would suggest that it is a Welsh verb, the -io- ending being the giveaway. Could mean "to burn the toast" &c.
(Simons Mith) NO, not an isobar, nothing quite so technical.
Weather?
Fog?
(Raak) NO, not weather.
(Bismarck) NO, not fog.
Temperature?
(Chalky) Temperature? NO. *some murmurs from the audience*
Drought?
YESS! Superman has it. The total absence of aqueous entities. Take this baton and give it a wipe 'cos it's been standing about in the rain.
Ze next round
Counters set to zero, AOTC generator enclenched, combobulator aligned, sphinx tube at operating temperature, and posting a live Facebook stream. Ok, that should do it. This is MINERAL, and may God bless all that sail in her.
A bathtub?
Is it a single object?
Mainly metal?
Episode 1, in which certain questions are raised
[Simon] NO
[Raak] NO
[Rosie] On balance, and after some research showing that no-one is too clear what it is made of, NO.
Is it found on Earth?
Does water come in to it?
Chapter 2, in which questions do not reveal answers
[Raak] On balance, NO, in the sense that the earth is not its natural habitat, but reports have mentioned it being found here.
[Bismark] NO.
Is it found in the Solar System?
Edscottite?
A hot plasma?
Section 3, in which our thoughts take us far away
[Raak] NO, although some "reports" etc. etc.
[CdM] NO, but that gets a big round of applause from the audience.
[Rosie] NO.
The material of an extremely dense object?
Is it found in our galaxy?
Dark matter?
Part 4, in which Jane realises that the Comte de Chambord is up to no good, and she says "NO" a lot.
[Rosie] NO.
[Raak] The galaxy being big an' all, who knows, there may well be some. But otherwise NO, though some "reports" etc. etc.
[Bism] That gets a round of applause only for the inventiveness. NO.
Is it fictional?
Is its existence anywhere speculative?
Kryptonite?
Fit the Fifth, in which all is revealed
[Rosie] YES. Now we're getting somewhere.
[Raak] Also YES.
[Simon] YES. Kryptonite it is.
Studio tapes of hard static played, imitating applause.
Please take this green, glowing baton, it's been having a bad effect on me.
Hm, well this green otherworldly glow I'm seeing is inspiring me. Let's try... VEGETABLE.
Edible?
Is it processed or in a natural state?
[Rosie] NO
[Superman] Also NO.
Wood?
[Raak] NO.
Some sort of fungus?
Fictional?
Beginning with 'P'?
[Raak] NO.
[Boolbar] AYE.
[Software] NO.
Liftwood?
I'm asking for Stevie, here
[Bismevie] NO.
Is this a piece of botany taken from the Harry Potter books?
The Luggage?
[Raak] NO. But that's another cool idea
[Superman] NO. Oops, nearly missed that one. Sorry.
Grass?
[Bismarck] NO.
A flower?
An alga?
[Bismarck] YUP.
[Superman] NO.
So we're looking for an imaginary, inedible flower which doesn't appear in Harry Potter.
[Bismarck] YES!
Is it from a television program?
[Boolbar] YYYYES.
Weed?
(from Bill and Ben. Not that I remember that programme. Definitely not. My grandparents used to tell me about it.)
[CdM] NO.
Clue?
I'll give out a clue on Sunday if there's no movement.
Is it from a sci-fi programme?
[Boolbar] AFFIRMATIVE.
Is it carnivorous?
[CdM] ABSATIVELY.
Were triffids carnivorous?
Does it say "FEEED MEEEE"?
A winner
[Bismarck] YES. Well I thought they were. Don't they sting you, then leave you to rot and soak up the juices? Perhaps that technically counts as something else. But AIUI even carnivorous plants only use meat as a dietary supplement.
[Raak] No, just clackclackclack as far as I remember.
Bismarck has it.
I'll just put on a nice thick pair of gloves and then hand over this... baton.
And so it begins again...
No way I am touching that thing. Right, here is the mystery voice to tell the audience, but you lot only get to know that it's
VEGETABLE.
Let's do it traditionally
Forgot the line. So let's see your ideas for another
VEGETABLE.
Fictional?
[Boolbar] NO, my in-laws had one.
Often found potted?
[Dujon] NEVER found potted.
A tree?
Air plant?
You can get trees in pots. You just need a bigger pot. Or a smaller tree.
[Raak] NOT a tree. Though it might once have been one.
[Simons Mith] NOT an air plant.
Unique?
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An item of furniture?
[Simons Mith] YES, it is an item of furniture. Much braying and waving of IKEA catalogues in the audience.
A dresser?
I'm thinking, a slightly uncommon item of furniture.
Is it for putting things in?
[Simon's Mith] NO, not a dresser. The AOTC might have turned up in the eponymous film, I shouldn't wonder.
[Raak] I feel it would make a rather unwieldy tool, so NO.
Did Dr. Caligari have one?
[Raak] He might well have done, though AFAIK there wasn't one in his cabinet. So NO.
Is it commonly upholstered?
Half-way there, and it's looking good...
[Simons Mith] NEVER upholstered, commonly or not.
A lampstand?
[Raak] NOT a lampstand. Note for Chelsea supporters: there is no such thing as a "tand."
Is it for sitting upon?
[Boolbar] NOT for sitting on.
A hatstand?
A footstool?
A hammock?
A set of sstocks?
*stocks
[Simons Mith] NOT a hat stand, NOR a hammock.
[Software] NOT a footstool.
[Raak] NOT a set of stocks.
Is it for sleeping on?
Is it a notable example of a whatever-it-is?
Does it have a pointy end?
[Raak] NO, that is not its primary function.
[Simons Mith] NO, this is a generic item.
[Boolbar] There MAY BE examples that have finials and thingummies, but it isn't necessary for the definition of the whatever-it-is.
Is it a dumb waiter?
A church pew?
A lectern?
Definitely not for sitting on.
BTW the mental picture I'm painting of your in-laws is getting stranger by the minute.
Your twenty questions are up...
[Superman] NOT a dumb waiter.
[Raak] NOT a church pew.
[Simon's Mith, who henceforth will be spelt with an apostrophe as I can't be bothered correcting it any more] NOT a lectern.
A hint - found in a house.
Usually found in a kitchen?
Do IKEA sell them?
[Boolbar] NOT usually found in the kitchen.
[Raak] YES, in a very stripped-down Swedish sort of way.
Do you put things on this thing?
[Raak] YES, you can put things smaller than this thing on this thing.
A shelf?
[Software] NO, not a shelf, but the thingy is shelfish to an extent.
A mantelpiece?
[Simon's Mith] NO, the whatchamacallit is not a mantelpiece.
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Going back to the fundamentals...
[Raak] YES, the thingy is larger than a toaster.
A Welsh dresser?
You're on the right lines, look for the curios. [Superman] NO, the rabbit is not a Welsh dresser.
Is it for displaying knick-knackery, bric-a-brac, trinkets, curios, and the like?
[Raak] YES, that is the most common usage of the whatever-it-is.
A cabinet of curiosities?
Although I have a hard time imagining IKEA stocking one.
[Raak] Well, there's the KASSEBY...
[Raak] NO, not a cabinet. IKEA still have a thing under the name of some fruit that could be described as the AOTC, but the version I found when the subject came up first has now disappeared from the catalogue.
I have no idea. Is that it?
Is it a display case sold with a subscription to receive a uniquely designed collectible thimble every month until you build up a treasured heirloom to pass on to your descendants, who will after a decent but short interval (say, on return from the funeral) chuck it in the bin?
People who collect thimbles (it says on a thimble-collecting site) are known as Digitabulists. How very depressing.
Ideas for names of occasional furniture seem to be drying up
[Raak] NO.
[Superman] YES, the thingamajig does seem to be something you don't know.
A vitrine?
[Raak] NO. No glass involved.
Does it normally stand on the floor?
[Raak] YES. The audience has got up a petition to give you the prize for sheer effort.
Does it typically have (just) one leg?
Does it have wheels?
[Raak] Not sure if that's typical - the one my in-laws have has only one leg. Let's say YES.
[Simons Mith] NO wheels on this whatsit.
Would one typically put a specific type of item on this thing?
Is it usually found in a corner of a room?
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, I thank that's fair.
All gone away..
Spoiler alert...
Is it characteristic of a particular region of the world?
An umbrella stand?
[Raak] I would have sworn that the whatsit was peculiarly British, but my in-laws also have one and they're Belgian. It was quite a culture shock.
[Software] NO.
An elephant's-foot wastebasket?
Is it foldable?
Is it usually fixed to a wall as well as standing on one leg?
[Raak] NO, perish the thought.
[Simons Mith] NO. The idea will be passed to MFI, though, you could be on to something.
[Boolbar] NO.
Does anything hang from it?
[Raak] NO, the thingummy does not so serve.
Is it portable or mobile?
I found some old-fashioned portable desks and things that seem to fit all the constraints applied so far.
Is it some type of table?
A tallboy?
[Boolbar] NO, not some kind of table.
[Raak] NO, not a tallboy, though I have no doubt that a room with a tall boy, a vitrine, an elephant's foot basket and maybe a Welsh dresser would also have one of the AOTC.
Is there a specific type of thing that this thing is designed to have put on it?
[Raak] NO, quite the opposite.
A drawer?
Is the Ikea LILLÅNGEN End Unit an example?
[Software] NO, drawers are very rare.
[Raak] SORT OF, but these whatchamacallits are always open framed, so you'd have to take the sides and door off, probably ditch the MDF for real wood, make the shelves smaller as they rose (optional, but traditional), and make the frame somewhat decorative carved.
I asked the Internet again and while you can still buy these things (including a modern plastic and aluminium version which gave me a frisson of horror), their heyday was before WW1.
And the winner is...
To be decided in a celebrity boxing match.
Late inspiration
It's not a box is it? A one-legged box?
Does part of the thing rotate?
Simons Mith] NO, not a box. Clues have been made as to the nature of the wotsit, though.
[Boolbar] NO, it doesn't rotate. No mechanism involved.
A plant stand?
No self-respecting Victorian would go without an Aspedestra.
[Software] This is a typical usage of the AOTC, as a stand for aspidistras and objets d'art... but it has a specific name, so NO.
A jardinière?
[Raak] NO. That's too specific, you can put bric-à-brac, mementoes and whatnot on this as well.
A cachepot?
[Raak] NO.
A whatnot?
Ah, grandchildren, gather round and I'll tell you the story of The Never-Ending Game.
Or you can ask Uncle Software, he did win it.
Congratulations - a whatnot it is! Take this baton-shaped objet d'art once owned by a lady from North Wales and give us your estimation of the insurance value.
Bugger! Now I must think of something.
OK, here goes: ANIMAL and VEGETABLE , that's it.
Is there a tree of some kind
Customarily eaten?
Is this a symbiosis?
A vegan? ;)
[Boolbar] In a way sometimes, YES.
[Raak] YES
[Bismarck] NO
[Dujon] Vegan? There's a thought. NO.
A sandwich?
A pie?
Is it cooked?
[Raak] Sarnie> NO
[Boolbar] Who ate them all? YES but not the AOTC
[Superman] Oven ready - or is that a hackneyed phrase? YES
A pie containing four-and-twenty blackbirds?
Is the vegetable bit fruit?
A mince pie?
[Raak] Close but no cigar
[Bismarck] Fruity? Oh YES, but
[Rosie] is on the money! YES. - Hands over the chocolate log shaped baton.
WOO! I jes lurve Min Spies. Sorry, I've had to eat the baton before it melts.

And the next object is ABSTRACT

Is it the thought of eating a mince pie?
Christmas?
Is it the answer?
(Boolbar) Nice, but alas, no.
(Raak) No - thank God
(Superman) No. I'm not clever enough to do recursiveness.
An English idiom?
Connected with the current season?
Whether that be winter, Christmas, Kwanzanukkawali, etc.
Does it begin with P?
(Software) Not an idiom.
(Raak) Not seasonal in any way.
(Tuj) Begins with a P? YES.
Is it property ?
Mathematical?
An art form?
A state of mind?
(Bismarck) Property? Only in the sense that many people have one of these, but realistically NO.
(Boolbar) There is a connection with maths but it is so broad and vague as to be worthless. So, NO.
(Raak) I doubt even Tracey Emin could make art out of this, so NO.
(Software) NO, not a state of mind.
A paradox?
(Raak) A paradox? NO.
A science?
A pseudonym?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a science.
(Raak) A pseudonym? NO, but *some audience animation*.
Is it psychological?
(Bismarck) Psychological? NO.
Profession?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a profession.
A nickname?
Does it come from the Greek?
(Softers) A nickname? Strictly speaking NO but the AOTC does have some of the properties of a nickname. *alert members of the audience perk up*
(Radox the Green) NO, not from the Greek.
A patronym?
I was wondering about that earlier.
(Simons Mith) Like all Welsh surnames? NO, not a patronym.
A secret identity?
An acronym?
(Softers) An acronym? YES. *whoops of delight from thosemembers of the audience who know what an acronym is*
Is it a socio-economic classification?
I can't think of a 'P' word for it, but things like NIMBYs, DINKies, CHAVs, AMRAAMs and so on.
(Simons Mith) Socio-economic classification? NO.
(Raak) A secret identity? YES. *great audience animation*
Peter Parker?
Personal Identification PIN Number?
Does the acronym contain more than three letters?
Is it letters after your name?
SIMONS MITH has it! It's a PIN. Well done.

The baton passes on.......

All right, let's go for MINERAL
Is there just one of this?
[Raak] NO.
Are there just fourteen of these?
Is this a manufactured object?
Is it found on Earth?
[CdM] No.

[Rosie] Yes.

[Boolbar] Yes.

Is the quantity of these expressive as the sum of two primes?
[Radox The Green] Why yes, yes it is.
Is it metallic?
Are you assuming Goldbach's Conjecture?
[Software] No.

[Raak] No.

Made of plastic?
Is it liquid?
[Raak] No.

[Bismarck] No.

Is it made of concrete?
Are there fewer than fourteen of these?
Is it a memorial?
[Raak] No. Although I presume some are.

[CdM] No.

[Superman] No again.

Could the average Morniverser lift one of these?
Man-made?
Is it a type of gemstone?
Are these all in one country?
[Rosie] No.

[Raak] YES

[Superman] No.

[Boolbar] No.

A building?
Does it begin with P?
Bigger than a toaster?
[Superman] Nay.

[pTuj] Nay.

[Raak] Aye.

Bigger than an elephant?
Does it emit musical sounds?
But is it art?
Do they come in pairs?
[Raak] No

[Bismarck] No.

[Tuj] No.

[Boolbar] Also no.

Are they very valuable?
A means of transport?
Ceramic?
[Raak] No.

[Rosie] ... No.

[Superman]... No.

Is it a rock?
[Bismarck] No. What would count as a man-made rock?
[SM] Wouldn't a lump of concrete be a man-made rock?
Can you buy one on Amazon?
Anything to do with gardening?
[Raak, man-made rocks] I suppose. I suspect a geologist might be harder to convince.

[Amazon] No, they don't sell 'em. That eliminates a lot.

[Rosie] No, not a thing.

Is it a tool?
Fake rocks for sale and methods of manufacture are common on The Internet...
[Bismarck] Not a tool.

[Fake rocks] This is getting philosophical, but if it's a fake rock, it's not a real rock, and if it's not a real rock, it's not a rock. Right?

One of the Milton Keynes concrete cows?
[Rosie] No. Concrete had already been eliminated.
Is it made of stone?
[Superman] Nope.
Does it require electricity?
Are they usually wet?
[Tuj, electrickery] No.

[Boolbar, moistery] No, not even in Ireland or New Zealand. I admit in Kiwiland it might be close.

just a question
So if mineral is chosen, is that just like a thing that isn't an animal or a plant (vegetable)?
[KagomeShuko] It does tend to get a bit blurry if you look at it too closely. I think we'd all agree coal and plastic are mineral, for example. [But if someone does pipe up to disagree, that shows it's even closer than I'd thought.]
Are these concentrated in one particular area of the world?
Are they typically fixed to the ground?
Is anyone offering one on eBay?
question - is this correct
Being American, mineral is something extremely specific. One site told me, "English people define everything as being either Animal (if it is alive) Vegetable (if it grows) or Mineral (if it isn't alive, doesn't grow and comes from the ground.)"
[Rosie, concentration] Not really.

[Boolbar, fixed] Yes. You won't find any flying ones.

[Raak, eBay] No.

[KagomeShuko, minerals] I'd say that's a reasonable usage for this game. But a dead cat is still animal, and oxygen is still mineral even though it doesn't come out of the ground.

Does it have a common use?
[Superman, common use] Yes.
Do people usually make these themselves?
[Raak, self-made] No.
A natural phenomenon?
Is it a bomb shelter? A septic tank? A port-a-potty?
[Raak, natural] No, man-made.

[KagomeShuko] No, no, and thrice no. But those are the closest guesses yet.

Bollards.
Does glass come into it?
[Boolbar, the same to you!] No.

[Bismarck, glass] No.

Would the Average Morniverser, if there is such a thing, have one of these in his/her house?
[Rosie, average Morniverser] That's harder to estimate. On balance I think Yes.
Does one place things in this?
[Rosie, xxxxplace] No... but I think you're getting warmer
An Aga cooker?
[Bismarck] No; I expect those would be buyable on eBay, at least occasionally.
Is this thing kept inside?
[Superman, indoors] No. But also see answer to Rosie's.
Is it related to gardening?
[Raak, gardening] Nope.
Can it be bought in a shop?
[Raak, shoppable] No.
Does it consist of empty space?
Is it usually made of metal?
[Raak, empty space] Doesn't everything? No, it's not just empty space.

[Tuj, metal] No.

Is this a part of a typical building?
[Boolbar] Yes.
It is related to the void spaces within a building?
[Raak, void] Yes.
A rubbish chute?
A cavity wall?
[Rosie, chute] No

[Raak, cavity] No.

A house extension?
Does Father Christmas like these?
A room?
[Raak, extension] No.

[Dujon, Xmas] I don't know whether he likes them, but they are a necessary component of his professional work. Let's class that as a YES.

[Boolbar] No.

Are these things traditionally cleaned by Dick van Dyke, sporting an absurd Cockney accent?
[Raak, DVD] I dunno WTF he was cleaning; I couldn't get through the accent. But let's a assume a YERS or a YE-US or a YUS or however he would have pronounced it.
The cupboard under the stairs?
[Rosie] No. Good try but no.
An inglenook?
[Supes] No, not one of them neither.
The bog? Er, I mean the loo?
[Rosie] No, not a kludgie.
Is this space large enough to enter?
[Rosie] Well, we know Father Christmas can, so YES, I guess.
A chimney?
YES. A nice red-bricked chyimminny.
Here, have this baton. Mind the soot.
When ah were a lad it were a CHIMBLY, but now it's

ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
A superstition?
Racing of some kind?
(Raak) A superstition? NO.
(Simons Mith) Racing? NO.
A live animal?
Is it weather related?
A work of art depicting an animal?
(Bismark) The Animal Connections are certainly alive but this is not the AOTC.
(Boolbar) Weather related? NO.
(Raak) NOT a work of art of any kind.
A work of writing?
Associated with a particular place?
(Raak) NOT a written work.
(Tuj) Associated with a particular place? YES *warm audience applause*
Shangri la?
Crufts?
(Softers) Shangri-la? NO, nothing so exotic.
(Simons Mith) Crufts? NO. No doggies involved.
Welsh? ;)
Fictional?
Would this be something primarily for children?
Are the connected animals four-legged?
(Tuj) Welsh? NO, believe it or not.
(Raak) Fictional? NO, real.
(Bismarck) For children? NO.
(CdM) 4-legged animals? Now, that would be interesting, but the answer is definitely NO.
Is the associated place in the UK?
Worm charming?
(Boolbar) In the UK? YES
(Simons Mith) Can that be done? It's NOT the answer anyway, alas.
Swan upping?
Are the animal connections human?
Is this an activity?
(Simons Mith) Er, wassat, then? I'm afraid it's no nearer the answer.
(Tuj) Animal connections human? YES.
(Raak) An activity? NO.
Be it connected to sport?
(Tuj) Connected to sport? NO.
Is this something that happens once a year?
(Boolbar) Annual event? NO, it's continuous.
Is it an agricultural activity?
(Simons Mith) Agricultural? That would be a cruel if understandable interpretation of this. Short answer, NO.
Wool-gathering?
(Raak) Wool-gathering? NO.
Is it a job role or title?
Is it a metaphorical expresion?
(Tuj) Job role or title? NO.
(Raak) Metaphorical? No, it's what it says on the tin.

The AOTC is not in the least obscure but it is unusual for this game.

The Cerne Giant?
(Bismarck) Old Knobhead? The AOTC is Abstract.
An accent?
Abstract but associated with a particular area got me well stumped.
(Simons Mith) An accent? YES. *audience ecstatic*
Cockney?
(CdM) Cockney? Jokin' mate.
Welsh?
Acute? Oh no, that'd be associated with somewhere in France. Cornish?
(Raak) NOT a Welsh accent, North or South. (Welsh has already been eliminated).
(Simons Mith) Cornish? NO. A grave error.
Scouse.
(Superman) Scouse? NO, you're in the wrong areal.
Black Country...?
[Superman] no such luck eh? Anyway you hardly spoke it.
RP?
(Bismarck) Yam flailing about, it seems. NOT Black Country.
(CdM) RP? Oh, good heavens, no.
This is an urban variant of a regional accent. I have put a bit of a giveaway clue somewhere in here.
Brizzle?
Geordie, then.
(Bismarck) NOT Geordie, but SOFTERS HAS IT. Gert accurate, proper like. Award yourself the ceremonial bananal.
Hidden textTHe clue was in my last response to Superman
What? Me again? Well I'm buggered! Tha's gurt lush m'deariol.

Right then. MINERAL with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections.

Manufactured item?
The salt on my fish 'n' chips?
[Rosie] Made up? In a way, YES.
[Boolbar] Tasty, but NO.
A plate of fish and chips with mushy peas?
Is there just one of this?
Does it have an alliterative name?
A country?
[Bismarck] Luvly grub? NO
[Raak] Unique? YES
[Tuj] Lettered? NO
[Simons Mith] National? NO
On Earth?
Is it found inside a building?
[Simons Mith] Terrestrial? YES
[Boolbar] Internal? NO
But is it art?
A statue?
Is it a natural phenomenon that has been 'defined' in some way, such as a nature reserve?
[Tuj[ Good question, some might say, some might not.
[Rosie] Statuesque? NO.
[Simons Mith] Phenomena? NO.
Is it in England?
[Bismarck] Blighty? YES.
Is it in a town or city?
A fossilized tree?
Is it ancient?
Is it manmade?
Is it functional?
[Raak] Urban? NO
[Bismacck] Coal? NO
[Bismarck] Ancient? Depends on how you define "ancient"
[Tuj] Man made? YES
[CdM] Functional? YES
A reservoir?
A bridge?
[Somons Mith] Water dump? NO
[Raak] Over troubled water? YES
Recap v1
So it's a bridge. In England, but not in a town. It may be of some antiquity. And possibly involving artistics.
The Severn bridge?
A road bridge?
[Bismarck] First or second? NO
[Rosie] Roadie? YES
The Iron Bridge?
[Raak] Mr Darby's masterpiece? NO
Is the road either a main road or a motorway?
Building, Burning, or Falling Down
Is it the Richmond Bridge, the Tower Bridge, or the Tarr Steps?
Humber Bridge?
Is it the original 'Pooh Sticks' bridge?
I do have some doubt that it's a road bridge, but can't tell for sure one way or the other.
[Rosie] Highway code? YES
[KagomeShuko] A bridge too far? NO
[Bismarck] Bridge north? NO
[Simons Mith] AA Milne-ish? NO
Does it need constant repainting?
Has it been proposed to keep it from rust by boiling it in wine?
[Simons Mith] Forth bridge style? YES (don't they all?)
[Raak] Medoc rust preventer? Great idea but NO
The Clifton Suspension Bridge, proper like
[Rosie] IKB's masterpiece, m'luvvy? YES! I'd have thought you would have leapt on that straight away, mate.

(Hands over the SS Great Britain shaped baton.)

Grabs baton. Ouch, where are you supposed to hold it?

OK, this next one is nothing to do with Bristol, or Wales, or steam engines. It is

VEGETABLE with strong ABSTRACT connections.

Is the vegetable edible?
Is it a wood or forest?
A work of art?
Is it das erste Wiener Gemüseorchester?
Just a stab in the dark...
(R the G) Vegetable edible? Only by dogs. Short answer is NO.
(Boolbar) NOT a wood or forest.
Raak) NOT a work of art.
(SM) Das erste Wiener Gemüseorchester? Wooden a fought so. I'll check.
Arabidopsis thaliana?
(Raak) Arabidopsis thaliana? Having Googled it, I can say with the greatest of confidence that the answer is NO.
Dogs'll eat almost anything, but it's hard to find something vegetable that only dogs will eat. Is the thing commonly found in a house??
(SM) Commonly found in a house? Probably NOT these days. Probably edible by other animals, e.g. rats, but a dog is the most likely.
A stick, like you might throw for a dog?
Is the vegetable manufactured/processed in some way?
Marmite?
Is the vegetable part wooden?
(R the G) A stick? NO.
(SM) Manufactured or processed? YES.
(Softers) Lovely stuff? NO, alas.
(Boolbar) Wooden? NO.
Is it a fabric?
Is it unique?
(SM) A fabric? NO.
(Tuj) Unique? NO.
A bird's nest?
(Software) A bird's nest? NO.
Is it a fruit?
(Superman) A fruit? NO.
A member of the Poaceae family?
Is the abstract part a saying?
Rubber wellies?
Eminently chewable for the canis familiaris and rattus norvegicus crowds.
(Boolbar) Grassed up? NO.
(Raak) A saying? NO.
(SM) Nice try but still v. cold. So NO.
Is this something used for heating or lighting?
(Boolbar) For heating or lighting? NO.
Is the abstract part a measurement or quantity?
Can it be bought derp-frozen?
Deep-frozen of course.
(Simons Mith) It could certainly be regarded as that, so YES. *audience animation, previously absent*
(Bismarck) Deep or derp frozen. NEITHER, I'm afraid.
Is the abstract part included or acknowledged in the thing's name?
Is tobacco involved?
(Simons Mith) Abstract nature acknowledged in name? YES. *even greater animation from the audience*
(Raak) Nicotinic involvement? NO. I dunno, just 'cos I like the fags.
A grandfather clock?
Some sort of floor or wall covering?
(SM) Grandfather clock? NO.
(Boolbar) Floor or wall covering? NO.
A tape meaure?
A bean feast?
(SM) A tape measure? Well, rather better than that, but NO. *audience murmurings*
(Software) Accountant's holiday? NO, not a bean feast.
Is it some type of aide-memoire?
(Boolbar) An aide-memoire? NOT really. Maybe just an aide.
For measuring distance?
(SM) Measuring distance? NO.
A yard broom?
(Softers) A yard broom? NO.
For measuring fluids?
An item of furniture?
(SM) NOT for measuring fluids.
(Superman) Furniture? NO, except possibly as a word joke.
A country mile?
(Softers) A country mile? I'm afraid your attempt is wide of the mark by precisely that amount.
The Radio Times?
(SM) NOT the Radio Times. Maybe something less engaging.
Old Moore's Almanac?
(SM) Old Moore's Almanac? NO. Even less readable than that.
Is this a book containing information?
The Phone Book?
(Boolbar) Contains information? YES. *audience erupts*
(Simons Mith) The Phone Book? NO, but in a way that sort of thing.
A quipu?
(Raak) NOT a Quipu but you're on the right road.
An LP?
(Superman) An LP? NO.
An atlas?
A bookmark?
(SM) An atlas? NO
(Softers) A bookmark? NO.

A recap - this is a book, uninspiring and of little use these days.

Originally published in England?
(Raak) Originally published in England? YES, probably. Sources are not quite clear on this.
Logarithmic tables?
(revealing my age)
Old Moores Almanac?
CdM has it! It's Log Tables. Well done - a tricky one. Take this 'ere mantissa and proceed to the next one.
(Softers) Sorry, NO.
Lurker's Victory; sorry. On the brighter side, at least I noticed I won. I think the last time I won a round I completely forgot to check back for several days.

ABSTRACT
Cognitive ability?
Being sorry?
Cognitive ability? I think not.
Being sorry? Regretfully, no.
Time?
Time? No. *some applause from the audience*
Is this essentially a human experience?
Oh, the humanity!
Essentially human? No
(I should perhaps note that I can certainly come up with animal (including human), vegetable, and probably even mineral connections, but I don't think that information is helpful.)
Growth?
Physical law?
Growth? *rapturous applause* Growth is one of the words on the card.
Physical law? No (though not entirely unconnected).
Exponential growth?
Well that was quick
Exponential growth is the answer. It seemed to follow naturally from Rosie’s log tables. Have this baton. It’s 10% longer than it was yesterday, and 33.1% longer than it was on Friday.
A fresh slate
OK, let's try a clean break for the next one.

This is Animal

Is it human?
N- YES. I was initially going to give a firm no, but then I thought about it some more. YES.
Is there more than one of it at any one time?
Jesus?
[Raak] Not Jesus
[Bismarck] No, they're pretty singular.
Prehistoric?
[Raak] No.
A single living human being?
[CdM] Curiously, given my answer to Bismarck, no.
Can I go and see one of these beings (or their remains) on display in a museum?
[Boolbar] Turns out, yes.
A hunter?
[Software] No.
A waxwork?
A mummified corpse?
An idol?
Part of a human?
[waxworks] No.
[mummy] No.
[idol] No.
[part of a human] ... For consistency with my previous answer, yes. I might owe you a hint, this answer is a bit misleading either way.
Sedlec Ossuary?
Fictional?
[Ossuarial] No. That is such a cool place tho'
[Fictional] Yes.
A monster?
[monster] Yes.
A cyborg?
Several good guesses in a row
[cyborg] No.
Frankenstein's monster?
[Frankenstein's monster] No.
Dominic Cummings?
Samson?
A half-human hybrid?
[Cummings] Ugh. No.
[Samson] No.
[Hybrid] No. No breeding involved.
The Incredible Hulk?
[HULK] NO. MADDER AND MUCH HAIRIER
King Kong?
A were-being?
[King] No.
[were] No. Not when or why, either, BTW.
Incidentally, I'd peg the audience as alert and poised to applaud, but you're not close enough for a clap just yet.
The Abominable Snowman?
Not many fictional humanoid monsters occur to me that one can see in a museum.
[Abonimable anobinamal snow dude] No.
The existence of the museum was a surprise to me too.
Bigfoot?
[Bigfoot] No. In fact, their feet are rarely seen at all,
Is this fictional thing originally from a book?
[Bookish] No.
From a movie?
[Movies] No, not originally.
The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
[Bugblatters] No, less hungry.
The Slightly Peckish Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
Do accounts of this go back to before the 19th century?
[Peckish] Yes, I think 'peckish' pitches things about right.
[19th Century] No, they're a go-getting modern monster, all ready to face the challenges of the new millennium.
Are these from a children's TV show?
[Children's show] YES. [Claps and cheers from the audience]
Cookie Monster?
[COOKIES!] No. Getting close, but no. [More claps BTW]
Is there a Humphrey about?
Always imagined them as hairy beasties, but since they were never seen IIRC, who knows.
[Humphreys] No, they were red and white stripey drinking straws, and they were seen, certainly in the TV ads.
A cross-eyed tomato on a spring?
[Tomato] No, not Zebedee.
The Honey Monster?
A Disney character?
[Honey Monster] No.
[Disney] Yes, of course Disney would have bought them out...
The Swedish Chef?
I'm sticking with the Muppets until further notice.
[Bork? Bork!] No. [Nevertheless, applause returns in force]
Is it a Muppet?
[Muppet] YES. [Applause continues]
Oscar the Grouch?
(If that's not right we may need to start asking more general questions again. Turns out there are a lot of Muppets. Wikipedia even makes what is apparently a key distinction between Muppet Show Muppets and Sesame Street Muppets.)
Is it a Muppet in the shape of a recognizable animal?
[Oscar] No.
[Recognisable] Teetering on a one-word giveaway here. I'll say no, but I wanted to say yes.
Animal?
I hope not... stalking is so unbecoming.
A winner!
[Animal] Sorry rab - be ready for disappointment. YES, it's Animal. Here's a drum-stick shaped baton for you. Don't mind the toothmarks.
Drat!
Sorry everyone.

This next one is Abstract

Is it the thought of going out for something non-essential?
[Boolbar] That drew a very sharp intake of breath from the audience.
Self-isolation?
Is it topical?
Self-isolation? No.

Topical? Current, yes; relating to a surface, no.

Hypochondria?
I told you I was ill? No.
Solitude?
Is it something experienced by a human?
Solitude? Not quite - and Raak was closer (and yet, at the same time, further away).

Human experience? Yes, albeit diminished.

A dream?
Dream? We might want it to be, but no.

audience - *looks distractedly at Raak*

Quarantine?
Quarantine? No, but in this neck of the woods.
The two meter gap?
R0?
Two metres? *audience bounces up and down, trying to avoid attracting the attention of the police*

R0? No

Not being quarantined?
Social distancing as a 21st century ontology?
[Raak] no (but yes)

[Bismarck] it says “social distancing” on the card so I think you can have that one.

Had to wait a couple of days for the disinfection process to work on the baton. Can't be too careful. But hooray!
This is MINERAL, though there is an ANIMAL connection (not the Muppet this time, though)
A processed material?
Is it made by animals - e.g. chalk, coral, concrete etc.?
Is it unique?
Who needs 20 questions?
[Rosie] Processed material? ... ... ... No. But sorta.
[Simons] YES, it is made by animals. The audience cheers, even those who were still out at the intermission and haven't found their seats yet.
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An excretory substance?
A fossil?
Dinosaur poo?
Dinosaur eggs?
Is this a result of animals dying?
Does it begin with P?
A shell?
Just back from the Easter break...
Right, to cut through all these very good suggestions, well done everyone! But Simons Mith wins the audience's chocolate bunny this round, it's a shell, NO to all the rest.
The card still has another word on it, and the question count is at 10.
Is it made by chickens?
Is it the shell of a sea dwelling creature?
Tortoiseshell?
Whispers in my shell-like
[Simons ] NO, no fowl play here.
[Boolbar] YES, there would be an audience sensation here but the Skype link went down.
[Raak ] NO, not even a mock turtle.
Question count up to 13.
Is it sold by the sea shore?
She shells she shells...
[Simons] YES, though in these gender-confused days I am unable to say by whom.
Cockles, winkles, mussels, and whelks?
Alive, alive-O
[Raak] NO, none of them, but you are very close. Try a few more.
Clam, crab or conch? Cowry? Barnacle?
Bit of a shotgun approach...
Oyster shells?
Like shooting shellfish in a bucket
[Simons] NO, your shotgun didn't hit the target.
[Raak] NO.
Limpet?
That's me done, otherwise.
Scallop shells?
Getting closer and still hanging in there
[Simons] NO, not a limpet.
[Raak] NO, not a scallop.
Very close. This is a common shell on most beaches. Question count up to 19.
Who needs 20 questions?
Come on you lot, you can do it!
Cuttlefish?
Bong!
[software] NO. (Do you get cuttlefish on the beaches near you?)
Lots
Oysters?
Lots of cuttlefish bones on our beaches.
Razor shells?
And the winner is...
I've never seen cuttlefish bones on beaches, if they're that common presumably I didn't know what I was looking at.
[Software] NO.
[Raak] YES, it's the razor shell. Take this baton covered in mother-of-pearl and go on to better things!
Neither ANIMAL, nor VEGETABLE, nor MINERAL, nor ABSTRACT
That's right, it's Covid-19!

Just thought I'd get that one out of the way.

MINERAL
And nothing to do with The Current Situation.
Metallic?
Terrestrial?
Oil-based?
[Rosie] Largely metallic.
[Simons] *ripple of amusement from the audience* Strictly speaking...yes, terrestrial.
[Projoy] Not oil-based.
Is it a long way from home?
A satellite?
[Simons] It's a long way from my home.
[Software] *applause!* Yes and no.
The moon?
Is it about car-sized?
The International Space Station?
[Bismarck] Not the moon.
[Simons] Not about car-sized.
[Rosie] Not the ISS.
Does it have harpoons?
[Simons] Yarr! Bain't be havin' no harpoons nohow, matey.
An artificial earth satellite?
[Rosie] Yes! An artificial earth satellite. Despite my yes and no answer earlier. When is a satellite not a satellite?
Part of a launch vehicle, like Apollo 11 second stage?
Is it 40+ years old?
[Bismarck] Not part of a launch vehicle.
[Simons] Not 40+ years old.
Made by SpaceX?
The Hubble Space Telescope?
Is its mission solar observation?
[Boolbar] Not made by SpaceX.
[Rosie] *applause!!* Not Hubble.
[Simons] Not for solar observation.
So, JWST I reckon
Yes, the James Webb Space Telescope, which will be a satellite when it's launched. Have this baton-shaped chocolate-covered sponge cake which philosophers can't prove isn't floating somewhere in the asteroid belt since last Tuesday.
Let's crack on with the next one then. Hmm. Perhaps I shall do an ABSTRACT.
A human characteristic?
[Human] Yeeah.
Has a monumental allegory to this item been constructed?
[Monument] No, I don't think so.
Hidden textIf there was, how big would you make it?
An emotion?
[Emotion] Nope.
A co-operative characteristic?
[Co-operative] No.
A mental function?
[Mental] Not really.
Is this a human only characteristic (or can other animals have it)?
[Uniquely hooman] Yes, human only. Too much of a stretch to attribute it to animals IMO.
Big-headedness?
[Big-headedness] No. A few claps though
Consciousness?
The wearing of clothes?
[Consciousness, Clothing] No and no.
To do with speech?
[speech] Yyyes. Usually requiring speech, at any rate.
Hubris?
[Hubris] Not really. A couple more claps, from different audience members to last time
A boast?
[Boast] ...No. Very strong applause though. Possibly even whoops.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect?
That's definitely the right answer, even if it isn't.
[Duning-Krooger] Nuh-uh. Most of the clapping stops. What remains is probably unreliable.
[Simons] You're just saying that because, unlike me, you're not smart enough to realise that it is in fact the right answer.
At least I can spell Dunig Kreuzfeldt.
Flyting?
[Flyting] No, nothing so new-fangled.
Does it require modern technology to work properly?
[modern tech] No.
Is it done for entertainment?
[entertainment] Not usually. While it can be done for comic effect, that's not its normal objective.
Swearing?
[Cuss words] No...
Exaggeration?
Radox wins!
Yes, 'Exaggeration' is the word on the card. Here, let me pass on to you this totally awesome baton of awesome awesomeness.
Unaccustomed as I am ..
Oooh, lovely! Awesome and then some.
Bear with me as the Laser Display Board is updated for the audience. For the contestants, the subject is Abstract.
(The physical object could be An, Veg, or Min, but I am looking for a property which is Abstract.)
Isolation?
Worth a pot, however unoriginal.
A lucky charm?
Ditto
[Rosie] NOT isolation.
[Tuj] NOT as such, though no doubt someone, somewhere, uses one as a lucky charm.
Any relevance to the current pandemic?
[Rosie] NO. Phew. Don't we all need a break?
A favourite thing?
A human construct?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] NOT a favourite thing.
[Tuj] YES. No animals, vegetables, or minerals can have thought of this.
[CdM] NO, though there is a P in it.
Is it something animals, plants and [mineral] computers can all do?
Is this related to a bodily junction?
Did this exist in Classical Rome and Greece?
[Simons Mith] NO, they cannot. The primary object can be made from something A, V or even M, but the property sought is not linked to the substance.
[Rosie] NO. Not linked to a bodily junction in any way I can think of.
[Raak] NO, it is more recent.
Is the object a household object?
Anything to do with food?
Is it to do with the shape of things?
Is it numerically quantifiable?
[I'm still pondering the lucky charm connection.]
Or does it have religious connections?
Hope I'm allowed two questions on the go at once
[Bismarck] YES, I have several in my home and I suspect most people have.
[Boolbar] NO, food has nothing to do with this.
[Raak] NO, as far as the objects go they are all rectangular.
[Simons Mith] YES, numbers come into it.
NO religious connections though, not even a chapel in Las Vegas.
Are the physical objects books?
[Raak] NO, not books. There was a stir in the audience, though.
Are the physical objects placemats?
[Simons Mith] NO, they aren't placemats.
Board games?
[Simons Mith] NO, not board games. Another stir in the audience.
The game of dominoes?
Crosswords?
[Simons Mith] NO, not dominoes. [Software] NO, not crosswords.
Card games?
[Simons Mith] NO, but the audience liked that one.
Jigsaws?
Will it help to know the name of the thing to which this property attaches?
Are the physical objects boxes, whether fancy or plain?
I'm fast running out of rectangular things...
Something to do with pictures, photos or paintings?
[Software] NO, not jigsaws.
[Bismarck] YES, in fact someone has already mentioned it, but not in the right context.
[Simons Mith] NO, not boxes.
[Boolbar] NO, only a link of extreme tenuousness can be drawn with your three P's.
Are the physical objects playing cards?
Maps?
[Bismarck] YES, it is playing cards. Audience sensation.
[Simons Mith] NO, not maps.
Tarot?
Abundance?
A house of cards?
[Raak] Not as such.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
A collectible card game?
An action or result of an action within a card game?
Trumps?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No. Some audience clapping.
[CdM] Yes!! Audience cheering, clapping etc.

CdM wins!
Please take this deck and deal the next round.

ABSTRACT with distinct Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections—by which I mean I am thinking of one particular connection of each type above all. To add to the confusion, the Mineral connection has its own Animal and Vegetable subconnections.
Something taxonomic?
A well known phrase or saying?
To do with the environment?
Classified information? No
Well known phrase or saying? No, but there is some immediate audience interest
Green? No?
A proverb?
Proverb? No. Audience interest wanes.
Some kind of official pronouncement?
Connected with food?
To do with current affairs?
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!? No
Foody? No.
Current affairs? Not at all.
Is it a song of some kind?
A scientific idea?
A game of some sort?
Fossils?
Song? No. Loud applause, some muttering, and also a little laughter.
Scientific idea? No.
Game? No.
Fossils? No. Curiously, there is a slight smattering of applause.
Applicable to the elderly?
Shuddup at the back
A museum?
To do with geology?
An orchestra?
Applicable to elderly? The least misleading answer is surely No. But there is a sense in which I could say Yes. The question just doesn't actually make much sense with respect to the AOTC.
A museum? No. Another smattering of applause.
Geological? No. The audience considers retracting its smattering response to the "Fossils" question on the grounds that it was probably unhelpful.
Orchestra? No. The audience considers smattering, then thinks better of it.
Is it to do with myth and legend?
Does it begin with P?
Is it just me who, when reading through this game, mentally hears the audience reactions (which sound a lot like an ISIHAC audience during Sound Charades)?
To do with sounds that people make?
Myth and legend? There is a connection. At the start I stated that the Mineral Connection to the AOTC has Animal and Vegetable subconnections; myth/legend are an Abstract subsubconnection of the Animal subconnection of the Mineral connection to the answer on the card, which is Abstract. I presume that clarifies matters. :)
Begins with P? No.
To do with sounds people make? It can, but need not, be connected to sounds that people make. (Also, sounds people make could be an Abstract subsubconnection of the Animal subconnection blahblahblah.)

(To the extent the last question was prompted by the one occasion of audience enthusiasm, that might indeed be a profitable line of enquiry. Or you might want to pursue one or more of the A,V,M connections.)
Is the particular animal connection you are thinking of, human?
Life?
The music of the spheres?
Animal connection human? Yes
Life? No.
Music of the spheres? No.
Would civilisation come into it?
Civilisation? I'm going to go with Yes. Some of these questions are so broad that they are hard to answer, but, I dunno, "Yes" just feels right in this case. That said, I'm not sure it's helpful.
Is it the game of rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock?
A wild guess.
A musical instrument?
Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock? Finally, a question I can answer easily. No.
Musical instrument? No, but musical instruments are a subconnection of the Mineral connection of the AOTC.
Communication?
Is the main mineral connection a metal?
Religious?
Is it something like a cyclopedia?
Communication? No.
Mineral = metal? No.
Religious? No, but there are certainly religious subconnections of the Mineral connection of the AOTC
Cyclopedic? No. Despite all of the various subconnections and subsubconnections, the AOTC is actually something quite specific.
Is it a team of superheroes? :-)
Are we looking for the title of a piece of fiction?
Superheroes? No.
Title of piece of fiction? The audience gasps and applauds loudly. No.
The title of some written work?
A collection?
Title of written work? Yes! Applause
Collection? No.
Is the word "Rock" on the card?
Is it a work about types of music?
Rocky? No.
About types of music? No, although types of music are referenced in the work.
A biography?
Biography? No.
Was this written before 1900?
Written prior to 1900? Yes.
Was it written in English?
Written in English? Yes.
Is the book about philosophy, natural or otherwise?
Is the book about history? Gibbons' Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire?
Is it by a single author?
Check your assumptions
Philosophical? The best answer is No, although there is a connection.
History? The best answer is No, although there is a connection.
Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire? No. (Some audience laughter.)
Single author? Yes.
Is is a single book?
Checking one assumption...
Single book? No.
Is it a periodical?
Is it the author's entire oeuvre?
Periodical? No.
Entoeuvre? No.
Is it poetry?
Is it the works of a particular composer?
Poetry? Yes. The audience puts down their phones and applauds.
Composer’s works? No.
Recap
So it's the title of a work of poetry written before 1900 (and possibly much older). It is not the author's entire work, but it is more than one book while not being a collection, and it doesn't begin with P. There are connections through the title to A, M, and V, as well as to legends in a way.
Virgil's Georgics?
"The Faerie Queene"?
Because I'm nice.
Bismarck's recap is mostly right. However, I did not say the AOTC was more than one book. I said it was not a single book. I'll also tell you for free that I was thinking of the main animal connection as being the author, and the main vegetable connection as paper. The mineral connection, which has not been explored, has—as already noted—Animal and Vegetable subconnections, and various subsubconnections.

Virgil? No.
Spenser? No.
Was the author English?
English author? Yes.
Is this work in a medium other than a book?
I think you’re overcomplicating things
Medium other than a book? No. I mean, like everything else, it now also exists on the internet, but otherwise you’d normally expect to find it in a book.
Later than Chaucer?
Post-Chaucer? Yes.
Victorian?
Kipling's Barrack-Room Ballads?
Victorian? No.
Kipling? No.
Shakespearean?
Shakespearean? No.
Was some at least of this poetry written before January 1, 1901?
Written before 1/1/1? Yes. (We already knew that.)
Written in the Georgian era?
This is a very boring way of getting to the answer. :)
Georgian? Yes.
By Alexander Pope?
Are any seabirds involved?
Trying to be less boring. :)
Popeish? No.
Seabirds? No. (Except perhaps implicitly and very tangentially. Which means you should forget I even mentioned it.)
Dryden?
Hymns Ancient and Modern?
By William Wordsworth?
Only marginally less boring :)
Dryden? No.
Hymns? No.
Wordsworth? No.
The mineral you talked about: we know it isn't a rock, but is it a jewel?
Mineral-ish
Could this be about SHELLey?
Rock? No.
Shelley, with or without the EY? No.
A poem about a historic event?
Poem about a historic event? (The audience applauds the question.) That's a bit tricky to answer, but at the risk of giving too much away, I'll do my best. The simple answer is No. Thinking about the AOTC in terms of a specific historic event is not in itself helpful.

That said, there is definitely a historical aspect both to the AOTC (more specifically the mineral subconnection) and to the various subsubconnections of the mineral subconnection. And it is also correct to say that those historical subsubconnections involve an event or events, broadly understood.
What is that alluring scent?
Could somebody been SLAVING over AN INGREDIENT FOR MAKING BREAD?
Er, what?
I don't understand the question, but it has nothing to do with the AOTC.
Longfellow?
Lurker's guess - Is the name Ozymandias, King of kings?
Longfellow? No.
Ozymandias? No. (Shelley has already been suggested and rejected. Also, I don't know what you mean by "the name"; there has been no mention of a name in this AVMA.)

I'm surprised this is proving so difficult. It's not that obscure. And you will get there eventually just by naming poets, but I'm not sure if it is the best route to the answer.
Is it based on an Arthurian legend?
Arthurian? No.
less vague . . .
Could we be singing about amber grains of WHEAT?
Wheat? Nope? And I still have no idea what you are referring to :)
Are they a poet laureate?
Poet Laureate? No.
A poem about a location or country?
About a location or country? No, but the audience wakes from their stupor and applauds, particularly when they hear the word "country".
National anthems?
Because I'm still nice
National anthems? No.
As a tidbit of extra information to add to my previous answer, there is a strong connection to a particular country (which is not England).
Anything to do with Scotland?
Scottish? No.
Is there a French connection?
French? No.
hmmm
Guess I need to Phyllis you in on this author . . .
Is there a Greek connection?
Greek connection? Yes! Prolonged relieved applause from the audience!!
The ancient Greeks?
Ancient Greeks? Yes.
Aristotle?
Popping in a bit late
Given that a Greek Ancient would not have penned his poetry in English I am forced to the conclusion that the AOTC must be one of the many translations of his works. I have no idea as to the name of any of those conversions but would suggest Homer as the poet.
Homer? No. It's already been ascertained that it was written in English in the Georgian era.
Sorry, I missed Raak's question. No obvious connection to Aristotle.
"On First Looking into Chapman's Homer"?
Chapman's Homer? No. The audience bursts into huge applause.
Chapman's Homer itself?
Chapman’s Homer? No. The applause peters out into a crestfallen silence.
Ode to a Grecian Urn?
Alexander Pope?
Ode to a Grecian Urn? No.

Rapturous applause is cut suddenly short by the judges' response. Audience members look at each other puzzled. Murmurings of discontent give rise to crescendoing boos from some, while others google frantically. Rotten fruit is hurled. The judges retreat, huddle briefly, and reverse their verdict.

Ode on a Grecian Urn? Yes.

The judges run away, leaving behind a baton inscribed with the words "Beauty is truth, truth beauty".
So I have won by getting it wrong? I'm not even a politician, so this is a surprise. And just where that leaves us on truth-beauty spectrum is anyone's guess.
Talking of "anyone's guess", would you care to hazard what might be this ANIMAL of which I am thinking?
Is it unique?
Is it mythical?
[CdM] The judges made the right call. Otherwise we'd have had to have worked our way through Ode by a Greek Urn, Ode Under a Greek Urn, Ode In a Greek Urn and so on.
[CdM] YES, there can be only one.

The judges want to award you the palm immediately out of sheer nervousness, but the audience want their money's worth. Pierluigi Collina is drafted in to restore order.

[Simons Mith] NO, its doings are well-documented with photographic evidence.

Are we talking about a human?
Is this to be found in Caledonia?
A current public figure?
Is it a tiger?
I love tigers :)
[Boolbar] YES, the animal is human.
[Dujon] NO, not in Scotland, certainly not during lockdown.
[Raak]
  • YES, the human concerned is alive;
  • DEPENDS what you mean by "public", the human has for instance been on the telly.

[Tuj] NO, not a tiger, however much we may be fans of them.
Are they connected with politics?
Aw phooey :P
Is this human defined, for the purposes of this game, by the role they occupy?
[Tuj] NO, there is no politics here. Thought that might make a nice change.
[CdM] NO, insofar as I understand the question: I am expecting the name and surname of the human concerned. If you use any middle names, you will win points, and we all know what that means.
Do any of their middle names begin with P?
Cries of "Prizes!"
Is this human a woman?
Do they have musical talents?
[CdM] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
[SimonsMith] IRRELEVANT, it's not for music that they are known.

Audienceometer: in repose.

Were they born before 1980?
[CdM] Delightful question.
An actor?
[Tuj] NO, which means this person is a lot younger than most of you.
[Boolbar] NO, although that may surprise some.

Audienceometer: Muttered off-topic conversations.

A sportsbeing?
Is this person currently to be found in England?
*putting on Mouse Ears*
Was this woman on a Disney show?
Are the initials of this person's middle names T E & E?
[SM] YES, this person is best known for sporting prowess.
[CdM] NO, and I'm pretty certain about this.
[KS]
  • a) NOT a woman as previously intimated
  • b) NO, no mice involved

[Duj] NO. Who on earth...

Audienceometer : Applause recorded for Simons Mith.

Is this young mouseless male abroad-from-an-English-perspective sportsbeing of European nationality?
Does he hit balls with a stick for a living?
I thought I broke something...
Does this sport use wheeled transport?
... Such as golf buggies?
[CdM] YES.
[Everyone else] NO.

Audienceometer : comatose.

*Interlude to sate Bismarck's curiosity*
Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg. She is not a woman, she's girl. Nor is she a politician.
*End* Carry on.
Is this sportsbeing currently (or was he very recently) in either Germany or Portugal?
[CdM] NO, at least if this is a reference to the football. He may well have been there, though given COVID19 I suspect he hasn't travelled.

Audienceometer: Low buzz of conversation about Greta Thunberg, Tintin etc.

Is this person less than 20 years old?
Would he have been competing at the Olympics had they taken place this year?
[Boolbar] NO, he is older.
[Tuj] NO.

Audienceometer: dozing.

Is their sport an Olympic sport?
[Raak] YES. Hint - it has figured in almost all the Olympics.
Is the sport running?
[Raak] NO. However, to play it well, you need to be able to run. Hint: the sport does not fall under the IOC definition of athletics.
Is their sport a team sport?
[Boolbar] YES, it is a team sport.

Audienceometer: Applause.

Is it played indoors?
Does this non-rodentia male participate in a sport made up of sports?
Is the person concerned British?
[Superman] This sport, as with many team sports at the Olympics, has both forms. Thus one is outdoor, so a big hint and a big NO.
[KagomeShuko] NO, just the one discipline here.
[Radox The Green] NO.

Audienceometer: Small effervescence for Radox.

Are they a Commonwealth sportsperson?
Is this person Irish?
Is the sport football?
[Simons Mith] NO, not from the Commonwealth.
[Tuj] NI, not Irish.
[CdM] YES! I was wondering if all the Olympic stuff would have distracted everyone too much.

Audienceometer: Hoots, cheers and mostly unprintable chants break out for CdM.

Is this gentleman employed by a team in the English Premier League?
[Tuj] NO.
French?
Has this character ever played for a team in the English Premier League?
[Boolbar] NON. Although he can speak the language.
[Superman] YES, he has.
Audienceometer: Confrontation between supporters of different clubs being dealt with by security.
Did he pick up a French accent from having worked for a time for a French team?
Is this person currently playing at a professional level?
[Raak] Not because of that, NO.
[CdM] YES, he is still playing. Hint: Also at a well-known club.
Audienceometer: A compromise deal resulting in incessant chants of "'Ere we go, earwig O, 'ere we go" is reached.
Has he won the World Cup?
[Tuj] NO WC on the honours board, I'm afraid. The more I go through this, the more it seems like he isn't a very good player, whereas he is well regarded. Paradise awaits him, no doubt.
Is he Belgian?
[CdM] YES, he is Belgian.
Audienceometer : Cheers, whistles and general noise for CdM.
Has he been employed by a football club from Manchester in the past?
Eden Hazard?
(I’m so certain that that is the right answer, given all the clues, that I’m tempted to just get the next round underway immediately. But I’ll observe proper protocol.)
[Tuj] No. Fellaini, Lukaku, De Bruyne... not a bad guess.
[CdM] YES! Mr Eden Michael Hazard it is, who incidentally is the most famous person to come from the area I live in. His club Real Madrid didn't make the final this year, and he's a born French speaker, if that helps clear up any lingering doubts. Also nobody won the extra points for his middle name, so they get rolled over. Please accept this Belgian ale and this spherical baton to kick off the next round.
Audienceometer: Lots of Chelsea songs going on.
CdM hits the back of the net!
[Bism] I was trying to play it like 'Guess Who?', and narrow things down. But CdM was far ahead of me!
CdM rises majestically, like a salmon, and if it hadn't gone into the goal, it would have been close!
I have [Tuj] in front of the microphone... Congratulations for making a game of it. I thought your build-up strategy was well thought out. Would you care to comment on the yellow card?
Well, y'know Bismarck, I thought I stuck to my game plan well, made a few key narrowings down, but all credit to CdM, he just executed his skills better on the day, he deserved to get his hands on the baton.
Look, it was a team effort. All credit to the lads. Sometimes you just get a bit of luck on the day, but in the end I think we deserved the win. Now it's just all about the next round.
Hidden textRosie, as the Chelsea fan, missed his big moment here. Oh, and I certainly think he is a good player. I am still bitter about his impressive injury-time equaliser against my team in the season before last.
Which is ABSTRACT and ANIMAL, I guess. You could make an argument for either one, but it's really a bit of both.
Does it begin with P?
I don't think my dear old Ipswich Town have ever had a Belgian player :D
Human?
A real human being, who has taken on a symbolic significance?
A mammal?
Begins with P? No.
Human? Yes?
Real human being who has taken on a symbolic significance? (*smattering of applause*) Yes, a real human being, but not a particular real human being. The "symbolic significance" part is trickier. The significance of this not-particular but real human being is indeed being defined in a symbolic way.
Mammal? See "Human?", above.
Is the fact that this person is not a particular s/he because their identity is unknown?
Is their identity unknown? (*some applause and a little nervous laughter*) This person is not a particular s/he because there is more than one of this person. In some cases their identity is known; in other cases not—and this observation is germane to the AOTC.
Superheroes?
Superheroes? No. (Real human being, remember?) But heroes? Sometimes.
The head or leader of something?
Head or Leader? Almost certainly not.
Medical workers?
Secret agents?
Medical workers? No
Secret agents? No.
Is this concept linked to a particular political outlook?
The Unknown Soldier?
Linked to particular political outlook. In principle and in general, No. But there certainly is a political link in some instances, and it's probably fair to associate those instances with (broadly speaking) a particular political outlook.
Unknown soldier? No. The fact that the identity of these individuals is sometimes known, sometimes not is perhaps an interesting feature of the AOTC, but it is not central.
Is the AOTC associated with a particular country?
The Tzadikim Nistarim?
is the concept linked to an ethnic group?
Associated with particular country? No.
Tzadikim Nistarim? (
Hidden text*googles surreptitiously*
) No.
Linked to ethnic group? No.
Trade or profession?
Trade or profession? No. That said, these people are defined (for the purpose of the AOTC) in terms of something that they do.
Do they do this role in the interests of someone else?
In the interests of someone else? Yes (*substantial applause*)
Is there a medical connection?
Do they rescue people?
Medical connection? No.
Rescuers? No.
Civil servants?
To do with organised charities?
Members of an exclusive (or secret) club?
Civil servants? No.
To do with charities? No.
Members of exclusive/secret club? No.
(To be clear, these people could be any of these things, but they are essentially irrelevant to the AOTC.)
Blood donors?
Blood donors? No.
Do musical instruments enter into this?
Anything to do with transport?
Musical instruments? (*after a moment, laughter followed by some applause*) In one very precise sense, the answer is Yes. At the same time I worry that this answer might be misleading. If you pursue this route, pay attention to your assumptions. :)
To do with transport? No.
Are these multiple s/hes akin to inventors/ideas/philosophers ... ad infinitum ... who loose the reins for others to take.
Do these people know that they are defined as the AOTC?
Did these people exist 200 years ago?
Whistle blowers?
Well, that took a turn
Philosophers or something? No.
Do they know they are so defined? Usually yes.
Did they exist 200 years ago? Presumably yes, but back then they weren't actually known as...
Whistleblowers? Yes! One flute-like baton handed back to Bismarck.
Winner's comments
Didn't manage to get it inside 20 goes, but your clues did help. The baton-flute is really something, I can get a tune out of it but it seems only to attract rats. Lots of them, too.
Right, let's try for ANIMAL again. Off you go, put the thinking caps on and try to imagine what this could be!
Old Yeller?
Mammal?
Human?
Hamster?
[Bism] Oh, shot, very well done!
John Lennon?
John Lennon?
(was of course what I meant to say)
Hidden textThe whoops! function doesn’t seem to be working for me; is anyone else having a problem with it? I’ve tried to use it on my last two posts and it didn’t work either time.
[Simons Mith] - I'm sure they might yell, and many may be old. But it isn't the dog.
[Boolbar] - I am regretting picking this topic because it's going to make these normal types of questions quite difficult to answer. But I am not going to change horses in the middle of a stream. So let me clarify: I am looking for a class or type of animal, and not a specific one. If that adds a dose of ABSTRACT, so be it.
YES, some are mammals. NO, the others aren't.
[Raak] - NOT human.
[Tuj] - Ah, at last an easy one. NOT a hamster.
Hidden textThanks. Paul Mariner would have been proud of that.

[CdM] - NO, though I can see your thinking .
Audienceometer: Chuntering and shuffling of chairs.
Mascots?
Extant?
Are they limited to z certain geographic area?
And, if so, is zee certain geographic area France?
[Simons Mith] - Mascots? NO.
[Raak] - Extant? Excellent question which will probably make this a short game. NO, based on lack of proof.
[Superman] certain geographic area? NO.
[CdM] - France? NO.
Audienceometer : Applause for Raak, followed by an outbreak of arguments.
Cryptids?
probably stealing Raak's thunder

PS, also testing Whoops! facility, and it does seem to work, although from the message I first got I thought it was failing. Perhaps the Preview interaction is different now? But anyway, I've now done multiple whoopses and they've all worked.

Aliens?
[Raak] Could well be, could well be, but that isn't the AOTC.
[Simons Mith] YES, cryptids it is. No doubt a Mith is an expert and I should have seen that coming.Take this rather oddly creepy baton and don't look behind you - just run.
Audienceometer : Massive applause and some unearthly noises at the back, causing a rush for the exits.
VEGETABLE
I should say, historically these have been vegetable. Nowadays mineral ones are also prevalent.
Are the mineral ones fossils?
[Fossils] Nuh uh.
Historically made of paper?
[Historically paper?] Nope.
Is it an item of clothing?
[clothing] Nay.
Means of recording things, like books?
[Means of recording] No again.
Are the mineral ones plastic?
A toy?
Begins with P?
[mineral=plastic] Possibly. I don't know for certain, having never encountered plastic instances, but I would assume so. So a provisional Yes.

[Toy] No.

[p] No.

Specific to certain cultures?
[culture-specific] No.
Is it a fruit?
[Fruity] Negative.
Is it historically made from a tree by-product?
[Treey] Yes.
Is there one in your house?
As usual, probably on the wrong side of the useful/fun line
[Housey] No.
Would you find it in a tree?
[Found in a tree?] Nay.
Can you buy one in a shop?
[Shoppable] Yes.
Is it portable?
[Portable] Yes
Is it smaller than a tennis ball?
[<Tennis ball?] No.
Do IKEA make a self-assembly version?
[Self assembly] No.
Is it solely decorative?
[decorative] No.
Is it designed to be sat upon?
[Sittable] No, very much not.
Is there a spoon?
[spoonfulness] Alas, no.
Is it designed to be held in one hand?
An item of furniture?
Is it found in a school?
Not in a house, not in a tree, Hey Simons, just let it be!
[single-handed] Yes!

[furniture] no.

[skool] yes.

[KagomeShuko] :-) we should have a rhyming game of this. As if the normal version wasn't hard enough.

Is the vegetable part wood?
[wood] Yes, it wood have been.
Is it used for art?
Is it used to measure things?
[Art] no.

[Metrics] Nuh uh.

Does music come into it?
I am a bit stuck on the idea of a wooden hand-held instrument used in schools for which no plastic version has ever been seen by Simons Mith. So I am asking this question because it worked last time...
Does music come out of it?
Could it typically be maneuvered through a 5cm diameter circular hole?
[music I/O] No, either way.

[5cm hole] Yes!

BTW, I did check on Amazon, didn't find any wooden ones at all any more, didn't spot any hard plastic, but I did spot some foam ones for sale. Hadn't thought of foam. Other than that the rest were all metal.
A broomstick handle?
Is it a piece of sports equipment?
[broomstick handle] No, and expunge any thoughts about Quidditch. :-)

[sports] Yes! Audience applause

A golf club?
Is it used in an Olympic sport?
So it is bigger than a tennis ball, which is 6.7cm in diameter, but can be manoeuvred through a 5cm diameter hole.
A javelin?
[CdM] I assume long'n'thin fits both.
[Golf club] No

[Olympic] Yes

[Javelin] No. Granted, they used to be wooden and are now metal, but y'can't get foam ones.

An arrow?
Hockey stick?
Is it essential for playing the sport in question?
[B] I dunno. I don't think it's obvious that a long thin thing is bigger than a spherical thing (where "long" means greater than the diameter of the sphere and "thin" means smaller than the diameter of the sphere).
[Arrow] No

[Hockey Stick] No

[Essential] After quite a lot of thought, No. It's quite important, but not as essential as, say, the ball in football.

Is it protective equipment?
[Protective] No.
Used in a team sport?
[Team] Yup.
Is it used to hit something with?
[Percussive] No.
Is it used to make a mark on something?
[Mark-making] Nope.
Is it used to poke something?
I'm feel there's a Dr. Seuss poem in here somewhere.
Does it hit things?
Does it mark things?
Does it push and poke and prod things?
No, this object does not hit.
Neither does this object mark
Does it push or poke or prod?
Sadly none of those three gets a nod.
Ski pole?
Hidden textBool's question wasn't 'uniquely used in a team sport?'
[ski pole] No.

[uniquely used] I'm not 100% sure what you mean, but the AOTC is not used in any non-team variant of the sport(s).

A cricket stump?
[Stumped] No.
Is it at least as flexible as a rope?
[Flexibility] No, it's rigid.
Can I buy something with the same name in a bakery?
Trying not to take over due to busyness.
[Bread] Yes. I hadn't thought of that foody crossover.
Is "stick" one of the words on the card?
Do you want to rethink your answer to Tuj's question about "is it designed to be held in one hand?" ?
Also avoiding taking over. :)
[sticky] No. Actually I had only put one word on the card, but you're narrowing in on the sporting variant.

[rethinking] No. The circumstances under which two hands are used are a giveaway.

And now you're all just toying with me, I think.

OK then. Is it, perchance, a Relay Handover Cylinder?
[Baton] Yes, it is.

Flouting COVID restrictions, the audience claps one-handed with their neighbours.

It's all yours, CdM, although I'm afraid I haven't got a symbolic object to hand over. Some bugger ran off with it.

All right. This is, depending on how you think of it, either ABSTRACT, or MINERAL and VEGETABLE with important ANIMAL connections.
The world?
The world? No.
Is the MV+A a physical representation of the abstract thing?
Physical representation? I think "physical incarnation" might be a better phrase. In the M&V sense, the AOTC is very definitely real. Indeed, perhaps it is a mistake to call it Abstract; I think what I really mean is that the AOTC is a human construct.
A crucifix?
Is this a universal concept?
Crucifix? No.
Universal concept? No on both counts. It's not a concept, and it's quite specific.
Is the Animal part one animal or many?
How many animals? Many.
Is it a cycle/circle/feedback loop of some kind?
The Terracotta Army?
Feedback loop? No, much more concrete than that.
Terracotta Army? No (much less interesting than that). :)
A dolls house?
A city?
They're quite concrete. Regrettably.
A motorway?
Is there a single person in charge of this thing?
Doll house? No.
City? Yes! *sustained applause*
Motorway? No.
Single person in charge? Well, it's a city. Do cities have a single person in charge of them? Depends on how you interpret "in charge", I suppose. Wikipedia does inform me that the person nominally in charge of this particular city holds an "uncommon office".
It USED to be boring before the water crisis . . .
Is it Flint, Michigan?
[KS] Flint? No. (I'm not saying this is an uninteresting city; I'd hate you to take offence.)
If you're tired of this particular city, does that suggest you're tired of life?
Oh, say can you say?
Does this city's spelling actually look like how the name of the city is pronounced.

Cdm - It's a joke in the U.S. which isn't really true any more and I'm not sure when it changed - but at one point, Flint, MI was considered extremely boring - peole would say things like they drove through Flint, MI and saw a rock and a flower, nothing else.
Tired of Life? Again without wishing to insult KS, were that true I suspect it would have a rather high suicide rate.
Spelt as it sounds? I'd say yes.
Hidden text [KS] I lived five years of my life less than 50 miles from Flint; I am well aware of its reputation. :)
Has this city been the subject of a popular song?
Popular song? Yes -- perhaps several (although that might depend on how strictly I'm supposed to interpret the word "subject"). Googling tells me there are at least half a dozen songs with the name of this city in their titles, and many many more that include the name in the lyrics. Most of these songs I had never heard of, but some undoubtedly qualify as popular songs.
Is this city in the Eurozone?
Is it in Asia?
In the Eurozone? No.
In Asia? No.
[KS] I've only just realised that when I wrote (in reply to your question re Flint) "I'm not saying this is an uninteresting city; I'd hate you to take offence", you quite reasonably understood "this" to mean Flint. I was actually speaking not about Flint, but the AOTC.
Begins with P?
P-initial? Sorry, no.
Noo Yoik?
South American?
New York? No.
South American? No. (*some whispering and a little laughter from the audience*)
Does this city exist today?
On the continent of North America?
Currently in existence? Yes.
North American? Yes.
St Louis?
Come on, you blues.
St Louis? No.
(Speaking of the Blues, Rosie, you missed your chance a few weeks ago when the AOTC, set by Bismarck, was a certain Mr Eden Hazard.)
Chicago?
Does this city have a name derived from Spanish?
(CdM) I've no time for Hazard - he's a deserter.
Is it South of the 40th parallel north?
Chicago? No.
Derived from Spanish? No.
South of 40? Yes.
Is it named after a person?
While I'm at it, is it the state capital of North Dakota?
Named after a person? No.
Bismarck? No. ( 46°48′30″N > 40°00′00″N)
Is it on an island?
On an island? No.
On a river?
On a river? Yes. (*applause*)
Does it host a team in one of the US' Big 4 sporting leagues (NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL)?
ABBFHLLLMNNN (not necessarily in that order)? No.
Is it innnnnnn Texas?
(and do hint if there's a more interesting way we could be hunting it!)
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