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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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[Boolbar] Internal? NO
But is it art?
A statue?
Is it a natural phenomenon that has been 'defined' in some way, such as a nature reserve?
[Tuj[ Good question, some might say, some might not.
[Rosie] Statuesque? NO.
[Simons Mith] Phenomena? NO.
Is it in England?
[Bismarck] Blighty? YES.
Is it in a town or city?
A fossilized tree?
Is it ancient?
Is it manmade?
Is it functional?
[Raak] Urban? NO
[Bismacck] Coal? NO
[Bismarck] Ancient? Depends on how you define "ancient"
[Tuj] Man made? YES
[CdM] Functional? YES
A reservoir?
A bridge?
[Somons Mith] Water dump? NO
[Raak] Over troubled water? YES
Recap v1
So it's a bridge. In England, but not in a town. It may be of some antiquity. And possibly involving artistics.
The Severn bridge?
A road bridge?
[Bismarck] First or second? NO
[Rosie] Roadie? YES
The Iron Bridge?
[Raak] Mr Darby's masterpiece? NO
Is the road either a main road or a motorway?
Building, Burning, or Falling Down
Is it the Richmond Bridge, the Tower Bridge, or the Tarr Steps?
Humber Bridge?
Is it the original 'Pooh Sticks' bridge?
I do have some doubt that it's a road bridge, but can't tell for sure one way or the other.
[Rosie] Highway code? YES
[KagomeShuko] A bridge too far? NO
[Bismarck] Bridge north? NO
[Simons Mith] AA Milne-ish? NO
Does it need constant repainting?
Has it been proposed to keep it from rust by boiling it in wine?
[Simons Mith] Forth bridge style? YES (don't they all?)
[Raak] Medoc rust preventer? Great idea but NO
The Clifton Suspension Bridge, proper like
[Rosie] IKB's masterpiece, m'luvvy? YES! I'd have thought you would have leapt on that straight away, mate.

(Hands over the SS Great Britain shaped baton.)

Grabs baton. Ouch, where are you supposed to hold it?

OK, this next one is nothing to do with Bristol, or Wales, or steam engines. It is

VEGETABLE with strong ABSTRACT connections.

Is the vegetable edible?
Is it a wood or forest?
A work of art?
Is it das erste Wiener Gemüseorchester?
Just a stab in the dark...
(R the G) Vegetable edible? Only by dogs. Short answer is NO.
(Boolbar) NOT a wood or forest.
Raak) NOT a work of art.
(SM) Das erste Wiener Gemüseorchester? Wooden a fought so. I'll check.
Arabidopsis thaliana?
(Raak) Arabidopsis thaliana? Having Googled it, I can say with the greatest of confidence that the answer is NO.
Dogs'll eat almost anything, but it's hard to find something vegetable that only dogs will eat. Is the thing commonly found in a house??
(SM) Commonly found in a house? Probably NOT these days. Probably edible by other animals, e.g. rats, but a dog is the most likely.
A stick, like you might throw for a dog?
Is the vegetable manufactured/processed in some way?
Marmite?
Is the vegetable part wooden?
(R the G) A stick? NO.
(SM) Manufactured or processed? YES.
(Softers) Lovely stuff? NO, alas.
(Boolbar) Wooden? NO.
Is it a fabric?
Is it unique?
(SM) A fabric? NO.
(Tuj) Unique? NO.
A bird's nest?
(Software) A bird's nest? NO.
Is it a fruit?
(Superman) A fruit? NO.
A member of the Poaceae family?
Is the abstract part a saying?
Rubber wellies?
Eminently chewable for the canis familiaris and rattus norvegicus crowds.
(Boolbar) Grassed up? NO.
(Raak) A saying? NO.
(SM) Nice try but still v. cold. So NO.
Is this something used for heating or lighting?
(Boolbar) For heating or lighting? NO.
Is the abstract part a measurement or quantity?
Can it be bought derp-frozen?
Deep-frozen of course.
(Simons Mith) It could certainly be regarded as that, so YES. *audience animation, previously absent*
(Bismarck) Deep or derp frozen. NEITHER, I'm afraid.
Is the abstract part included or acknowledged in the thing's name?
Is tobacco involved?
(Simons Mith) Abstract nature acknowledged in name? YES. *even greater animation from the audience*
(Raak) Nicotinic involvement? NO. I dunno, just 'cos I like the fags.
A grandfather clock?
Some sort of floor or wall covering?
(SM) Grandfather clock? NO.
(Boolbar) Floor or wall covering? NO.
A tape meaure?
A bean feast?
(SM) A tape measure? Well, rather better than that, but NO. *audience murmurings*
(Software) Accountant's holiday? NO, not a bean feast.
Is it some type of aide-memoire?
(Boolbar) An aide-memoire? NOT really. Maybe just an aide.
For measuring distance?
(SM) Measuring distance? NO.
A yard broom?
(Softers) A yard broom? NO.
For measuring fluids?
An item of furniture?
(SM) NOT for measuring fluids.
(Superman) Furniture? NO, except possibly as a word joke.
A country mile?
(Softers) A country mile? I'm afraid your attempt is wide of the mark by precisely that amount.
The Radio Times?
(SM) NOT the Radio Times. Maybe something less engaging.
Old Moore's Almanac?
(SM) Old Moore's Almanac? NO. Even less readable than that.
Is this a book containing information?
The Phone Book?
(Boolbar) Contains information? YES. *audience erupts*
(Simons Mith) The Phone Book? NO, but in a way that sort of thing.
A quipu?
(Raak) NOT a Quipu but you're on the right road.
An LP?
(Superman) An LP? NO.
An atlas?
A bookmark?
(SM) An atlas? NO
(Softers) A bookmark? NO.

A recap - this is a book, uninspiring and of little use these days.

Originally published in England?
(Raak) Originally published in England? YES, probably. Sources are not quite clear on this.
Logarithmic tables?
(revealing my age)
Old Moores Almanac?
CdM has it! It's Log Tables. Well done - a tricky one. Take this 'ere mantissa and proceed to the next one.
(Softers) Sorry, NO.
Lurker's Victory; sorry. On the brighter side, at least I noticed I won. I think the last time I won a round I completely forgot to check back for several days.

ABSTRACT
Cognitive ability?
Being sorry?
Cognitive ability? I think not.
Being sorry? Regretfully, no.
Time?
Time? No. *some applause from the audience*
Is this essentially a human experience?
Oh, the humanity!
Essentially human? No
(I should perhaps note that I can certainly come up with animal (including human), vegetable, and probably even mineral connections, but I don't think that information is helpful.)
Growth?
Physical law?
Growth? *rapturous applause* Growth is one of the words on the card.
Physical law? No (though not entirely unconnected).
Exponential growth?
Well that was quick
Exponential growth is the answer. It seemed to follow naturally from Rosie’s log tables. Have this baton. It’s 10% longer than it was yesterday, and 33.1% longer than it was on Friday.
A fresh slate
OK, let's try a clean break for the next one.

This is Animal

Is it human?
N- YES. I was initially going to give a firm no, but then I thought about it some more. YES.
Is there more than one of it at any one time?
Jesus?
[Raak] Not Jesus
[Bismarck] No, they're pretty singular.
Prehistoric?
[Raak] No.
A single living human being?
[CdM] Curiously, given my answer to Bismarck, no.
Can I go and see one of these beings (or their remains) on display in a museum?
[Boolbar] Turns out, yes.
A hunter?
[Software] No.
A waxwork?
A mummified corpse?
An idol?
Part of a human?
[waxworks] No.
[mummy] No.
[idol] No.
[part of a human] ... For consistency with my previous answer, yes. I might owe you a hint, this answer is a bit misleading either way.
Sedlec Ossuary?
Fictional?
[Ossuarial] No. That is such a cool place tho'
[Fictional] Yes.
A monster?
[monster] Yes.
A cyborg?
Several good guesses in a row
[cyborg] No.
Frankenstein's monster?
[Frankenstein's monster] No.
Dominic Cummings?
Samson?
A half-human hybrid?
[Cummings] Ugh. No.
[Samson] No.
[Hybrid] No. No breeding involved.
The Incredible Hulk?
[HULK] NO. MADDER AND MUCH HAIRIER
King Kong?
A were-being?
[King] No.
[were] No. Not when or why, either, BTW.
Incidentally, I'd peg the audience as alert and poised to applaud, but you're not close enough for a clap just yet.
The Abominable Snowman?
Not many fictional humanoid monsters occur to me that one can see in a museum.
[Abonimable anobinamal snow dude] No.
The existence of the museum was a surprise to me too.
Bigfoot?
[Bigfoot] No. In fact, their feet are rarely seen at all,
Is this fictional thing originally from a book?
[Bookish] No.
From a movie?
[Movies] No, not originally.
The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
[Bugblatters] No, less hungry.
The Slightly Peckish Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
Do accounts of this go back to before the 19th century?
[Peckish] Yes, I think 'peckish' pitches things about right.
[19th Century] No, they're a go-getting modern monster, all ready to face the challenges of the new millennium.
Are these from a children's TV show?
[Children's show] YES. [Claps and cheers from the audience]
Cookie Monster?
[COOKIES!] No. Getting close, but no. [More claps BTW]
Is there a Humphrey about?
Always imagined them as hairy beasties, but since they were never seen IIRC, who knows.
[Humphreys] No, they were red and white stripey drinking straws, and they were seen, certainly in the TV ads.
A cross-eyed tomato on a spring?
[Tomato] No, not Zebedee.
The Honey Monster?
A Disney character?
[Honey Monster] No.
[Disney] Yes, of course Disney would have bought them out...
The Swedish Chef?
I'm sticking with the Muppets until further notice.
[Bork? Bork!] No. [Nevertheless, applause returns in force]
Is it a Muppet?
[Muppet] YES. [Applause continues]
Oscar the Grouch?
(If that's not right we may need to start asking more general questions again. Turns out there are a lot of Muppets. Wikipedia even makes what is apparently a key distinction between Muppet Show Muppets and Sesame Street Muppets.)
Is it a Muppet in the shape of a recognizable animal?
[Oscar] No.
[Recognisable] Teetering on a one-word giveaway here. I'll say no, but I wanted to say yes.
Animal?
I hope not... stalking is so unbecoming.
A winner!
[Animal] Sorry rab - be ready for disappointment. YES, it's Animal. Here's a drum-stick shaped baton for you. Don't mind the toothmarks.
Drat!
Sorry everyone.

This next one is Abstract

Is it the thought of going out for something non-essential?
[Boolbar] That drew a very sharp intake of breath from the audience.
Self-isolation?
Is it topical?
Self-isolation? No.

Topical? Current, yes; relating to a surface, no.

Hypochondria?
I told you I was ill? No.
Solitude?
Is it something experienced by a human?
Solitude? Not quite - and Raak was closer (and yet, at the same time, further away).

Human experience? Yes, albeit diminished.

A dream?
Dream? We might want it to be, but no.

audience - *looks distractedly at Raak*

Quarantine?
Quarantine? No, but in this neck of the woods.
The two meter gap?
R0?
Two metres? *audience bounces up and down, trying to avoid attracting the attention of the police*

R0? No

Not being quarantined?
Social distancing as a 21st century ontology?
[Raak] no (but yes)

[Bismarck] it says “social distancing” on the card so I think you can have that one.

Had to wait a couple of days for the disinfection process to work on the baton. Can't be too careful. But hooray!
This is MINERAL, though there is an ANIMAL connection (not the Muppet this time, though)
A processed material?
Is it made by animals - e.g. chalk, coral, concrete etc.?
Is it unique?
Who needs 20 questions?
[Rosie] Processed material? ... ... ... No. But sorta.
[Simons] YES, it is made by animals. The audience cheers, even those who were still out at the intermission and haven't found their seats yet.
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An excretory substance?
A fossil?
Dinosaur poo?
Dinosaur eggs?
Is this a result of animals dying?
Does it begin with P?
A shell?
Just back from the Easter break...
Right, to cut through all these very good suggestions, well done everyone! But Simons Mith wins the audience's chocolate bunny this round, it's a shell, NO to all the rest.
The card still has another word on it, and the question count is at 10.
Is it made by chickens?
Is it the shell of a sea dwelling creature?
Tortoiseshell?
Whispers in my shell-like
[Simons ] NO, no fowl play here.
[Boolbar] YES, there would be an audience sensation here but the Skype link went down.
[Raak ] NO, not even a mock turtle.
Question count up to 13.
Is it sold by the sea shore?
She shells she shells...
[Simons] YES, though in these gender-confused days I am unable to say by whom.
Cockles, winkles, mussels, and whelks?
Alive, alive-O
[Raak] NO, none of them, but you are very close. Try a few more.
Clam, crab or conch? Cowry? Barnacle?
Bit of a shotgun approach...
Oyster shells?
Like shooting shellfish in a bucket
[Simons] NO, your shotgun didn't hit the target.
[Raak] NO.
Limpet?
That's me done, otherwise.
Scallop shells?
Getting closer and still hanging in there
[Simons] NO, not a limpet.
[Raak] NO, not a scallop.
Very close. This is a common shell on most beaches. Question count up to 19.
Who needs 20 questions?
Come on you lot, you can do it!
Cuttlefish?
Bong!
[software] NO. (Do you get cuttlefish on the beaches near you?)
Lots
Oysters?
Lots of cuttlefish bones on our beaches.
Razor shells?
And the winner is...
I've never seen cuttlefish bones on beaches, if they're that common presumably I didn't know what I was looking at.
[Software] NO.
[Raak] YES, it's the razor shell. Take this baton covered in mother-of-pearl and go on to better things!
Neither ANIMAL, nor VEGETABLE, nor MINERAL, nor ABSTRACT
That's right, it's Covid-19!

Just thought I'd get that one out of the way.

MINERAL
And nothing to do with The Current Situation.
Metallic?
Terrestrial?
Oil-based?
[Rosie] Largely metallic.
[Simons] *ripple of amusement from the audience* Strictly speaking...yes, terrestrial.
[Projoy] Not oil-based.
Is it a long way from home?
A satellite?
[Simons] It's a long way from my home.
[Software] *applause!* Yes and no.
The moon?
Is it about car-sized?
The International Space Station?
[Bismarck] Not the moon.
[Simons] Not about car-sized.
[Rosie] Not the ISS.
Does it have harpoons?
[Simons] Yarr! Bain't be havin' no harpoons nohow, matey.
An artificial earth satellite?
[Rosie] Yes! An artificial earth satellite. Despite my yes and no answer earlier. When is a satellite not a satellite?
Part of a launch vehicle, like Apollo 11 second stage?
Is it 40+ years old?
[Bismarck] Not part of a launch vehicle.
[Simons] Not 40+ years old.
Made by SpaceX?
The Hubble Space Telescope?
Is its mission solar observation?
[Boolbar] Not made by SpaceX.
[Rosie] *applause!!* Not Hubble.
[Simons] Not for solar observation.
So, JWST I reckon
Yes, the James Webb Space Telescope, which will be a satellite when it's launched. Have this baton-shaped chocolate-covered sponge cake which philosophers can't prove isn't floating somewhere in the asteroid belt since last Tuesday.
Let's crack on with the next one then. Hmm. Perhaps I shall do an ABSTRACT.
A human characteristic?
[Human] Yeeah.
Has a monumental allegory to this item been constructed?
[Monument] No, I don't think so.
Hidden textIf there was, how big would you make it?
An emotion?
[Emotion] Nope.
A co-operative characteristic?
[Co-operative] No.
A mental function?
[Mental] Not really.
Is this a human only characteristic (or can other animals have it)?
[Uniquely hooman] Yes, human only. Too much of a stretch to attribute it to animals IMO.
Big-headedness?
[Big-headedness] No. A few claps though
Consciousness?
The wearing of clothes?
[Consciousness, Clothing] No and no.
To do with speech?
[speech] Yyyes. Usually requiring speech, at any rate.
Hubris?
[Hubris] Not really. A couple more claps, from different audience members to last time
A boast?
[Boast] ...No. Very strong applause though. Possibly even whoops.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect?
That's definitely the right answer, even if it isn't.
[Duning-Krooger] Nuh-uh. Most of the clapping stops. What remains is probably unreliable.
[Simons] You're just saying that because, unlike me, you're not smart enough to realise that it is in fact the right answer.
At least I can spell Dunig Kreuzfeldt.
Flyting?
[Flyting] No, nothing so new-fangled.
Does it require modern technology to work properly?
[modern tech] No.
Is it done for entertainment?
[entertainment] Not usually. While it can be done for comic effect, that's not its normal objective.
Swearing?
[Cuss words] No...
Exaggeration?
Radox wins!
Yes, 'Exaggeration' is the word on the card. Here, let me pass on to you this totally awesome baton of awesome awesomeness.
Unaccustomed as I am ..
Oooh, lovely! Awesome and then some.
Bear with me as the Laser Display Board is updated for the audience. For the contestants, the subject is Abstract.
(The physical object could be An, Veg, or Min, but I am looking for a property which is Abstract.)
Isolation?
Worth a pot, however unoriginal.
A lucky charm?
Ditto
[Rosie] NOT isolation.
[Tuj] NOT as such, though no doubt someone, somewhere, uses one as a lucky charm.
Any relevance to the current pandemic?
[Rosie] NO. Phew. Don't we all need a break?
A favourite thing?
A human construct?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] NOT a favourite thing.
[Tuj] YES. No animals, vegetables, or minerals can have thought of this.
[CdM] NO, though there is a P in it.
Is it something animals, plants and [mineral] computers can all do?
Is this related to a bodily junction?
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