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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Is the mineral rubber (synthetic, presumably)?
Is the mineral some sort of perforated container?
(Raak) NO, not rubber, synthetic or otherwise.
(Boolbar) Perforated container? YES. *audience goes completely potty*
A nylon teabag?
(Raak) Near enough. The AOTC is actually one of those accoutrements of haute cuisine, the teabag. I declare RAAK the winner and hand him the boiling kettle.
The next is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, ANIMAL, and ABSTRACT.
Is it everything?
[Boolbar] Not everything.
Animal = human?
Obviously not JRM or BoJo etc
[Software] Partly human.
The statue (Mineral) in my local park of someone riding a large cow and surrounded by other people (Animal) and carrying a cornucopia whence fall fruits of all kinds (Vegetable), which is entitled "Plenty" (Abstract)
[Bismarck] Not a statue.
Is it fictional?
[Boolbar] Can be fictional.
Are horses involved?
[Rosie] No horses (except perhaps abstractly).
Is it proverbial?
Is transport involved?
Not necessarily a steam train, of course.
[B] Not proverbial.
[R] In a sense, everything could be involved with this, but in the sense you're thinking, there is no transport involved.
A product of the brain?
[Dujon] Yes! A product of the brain.
An allegory? (AL / Leg / Egg / allegory)
[Superman] Not an allegory.
A dream?
[Rosie] Not a dream.
Perhaps I should note that the MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and ANIMAL aspects of this are not at all abstract. So not a dream, an allegory, a figure of speech, an idea, a philosophy, or a dread foreboding of doom.
Is the Mineral/Vegetable/Animal part a particular area and its contents?
[Boolbar] If I understand you, yes, this thing is made of its Mineral/Vegetable/Animal parts.
Does geography come into it?
[Bismarck] Geography does not specifically come into it.
Is it the Crown?
[SM] Not the Crown.
Does it cost a lot?
[Superman] Yes, one of these does cost a lot. (This is not a unique object.)
A mind map?
An image of The Buddha?
Long shot.
[S] Not a mind map.
[R] Not an image of the Buddha.
A private island?
[Superman] Not a private island.
An island?
[Boolbar] Not an island of any sort. Not a geographical feature, in fact.
Do these objects have strong links to reproduction?
[Dujon] No link to reproduction.
Any connection to research?
Do you own one?
[Rosie] applause! YES, there is a connection to research.
[Tuj] Yes, I think I could reasonably claim to have one.
A library?
[Rosie] Yes, a library. Have this scroll containing the rules to Mornington Crescent, rescued from the Library of Alexandria.
I say! Bravo, R & R
(Raak) A valuable historic document. Trouble is I can't lift it.

Forever onwards with ABSTRACT with strong ANIMAL connections

.
Is it an ostrich that has yet to be spotted?
Is it wild?
(Boolbar) The elusive ostrich? Unsurprisingly, NO.
Bismarck) *audience cackles* In a restricted sense, to some people, YES .
Rewilding?
Is it fictional?
(Raak) Rewilding? NO.
(Tuj) Fictional? This question is intrinsically unanswerable with present knowledge.
Is it associated with a particular animal species?
Well! There's an intriguing response.
Is it a story of uncertain factuality?
Extraterrestrial?
(Tuj) Particular animal species? YES, but that's not actually very helpful.
(Raak) Uncertain factuality? YES. *mixed audience reaction. Some murmurs of approval; some belly laughs*
(Boolbar) Extraterrestrial? NO, very much earth-bound.
A shaggy dog story?
A stand-up comic's act?
Is it a future event?
Does death play a part in this?
(Superman) Shaggy dog story? NO.
(Raak) Stand-up? *some suppressed giggling* NO.
Tuj) A future event? NOT KNOWN. It is certainly a possibility.
(Dujon) Death? NO.
Is a specific individual involved?
(Raak) Specific individual? NO.
Is sex involved?
(Superman) Sex? The mind boggles. NO, none whatever.
The afterlife?
(Raak) NO, not the afterlife. *cynical giggles from some of the audience*
A prophesy?
The horsemen of the Apocalypse?
(Raak) Some prophecies have been made in relation to this but essentially NO.
(Bismarck) NO, no gee-gees.
Is it related to politics?
(Tuj) Related to politics? YES. *prolonged audience applause*
Related to Brexit?
(Raak) Well, I think that's near enough. It is actually BREXIT and I hand you this toxic stick. Wear gloves.
looks for a Brexiteer's arse to bury it in

The next is MINERAL (I think, mostly) with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it found on the Earth?
It is found on the Earth.
Is it in Europe?
Is it a weapon?
[B] Some are in Europe.
[S] Hmm...not, strictly speaking, a weapon.
Is it a geographical feature?
[Rosie] Not a geographical feature.
A meteorite?
[Software] Not a meteorite.
Is it a monument?
[Bismarck] Not a monument.
Human made?
[Boolbar] Yes, human made.
Did it originate in Germany?
[Superman] Not from Germany.
Is it predominantly metal?
[Tuj] Not metal.
Did any of these exist over 1000 years ago?
[Boolbar] None of them existed over 1000 years ago.
Millennium Stones?
[Software] Not Millennium Stones (whatever those are).
Is it a work of art?
[Rosie] applause! It is art.
One or more Henry Moore mobiles?
[Bismarck] Not by Henry Moore. Not a mobile.
Does it have any watery connections?
[SM] No watery connections.
Is it an island wrapped by Christoph?
[Superman] Not an island wrapped by Christoph.
Is it associated with any particular date(s)?
Is it a representation of a fictional character?
[SM] No particular date.
[B] Some examples are representations of fictional characters.
Are these all by one artist?
[Boolbar] Applause! Works of a particular artist.
The Dali museum in Barcelona?
[Bismarck] Not Dali.
Hm, are they Banksies?
[SM] A winner! Yes, A Banksy graffito is the words on the card. Excuse me while I run this baton through a woodchipper before presenting it.
Whoops, now I've gotta think of one.

Um.

OK. These are usually MINERAL.

Even worse, I gotta remember what I picked!
Garden Gnomes?
Decorative?
Stones?
No again.
Trolls?
... No.
Found on Earth?
Oh good, a YES at last. Found on Earth.
Is there just one of these?
No, many.
Are these likely to be found in Antarctica?
No, not likely. (Very minor hint in comments)
Man-made?
YES, without exception. Well, um, except for all the ones that are woman-made, or any other gender variations.
Is it likely to be found in the home of an average Morniverser, if there is such a thing?
Yep, they're present even in a Crescenter's house.
Used for preparing or eating food?
YES. [Applause]
A chopping board?
No. Besides, I wouldn't have said chopping boards were usually mineral; I'd tend to assume wooden first, mineral second.
Is it a cast iron pan?
Nuh uh.
A container?
A tool for turning pieces of food into smaller pieces of food?
A piece of cutlery?
[Raak] Not really. [Bismarck] YES. [Audience checks contract, then whoops stamps and cheers.]
A Fork?
Which way shall I go?
No, not a fork. You're so close!
A spork?
I thought that might happen :-)
No. But you're even closer than Boolbar was.
A sporknife?
No, and it's probably not spopsticks either.
Does this magnificent utensil have a brand name ending in "ayd"
[Dujon] Alas, no.
Does it rhyme with 'swoon'?
YES! [Stretchers arrive to ferry out a couple of audience members who fainted from excitement.]
Can it be preceded by the word "dessert"?
YES, it can. By Jove you're really narrowing it down now.
Can it be made from wood?
I can see a theme coming through here.. it must be a - but I'll let Raak answer that.
Wood? YES.
Has the existence of this thing been notably denied?
Can this object be bent, as if by magic?
YES. They may even have been a Japanese anime about it, although I could be wrong there.
[Raak] Utensil denial: YES.
Should one count these at the end of a dinner party, especially if a guest has talked overmuch of his honour?
Utensil census: YES.
Can two of these be used as a makeshift percussion instrument?
Utensil chorus: YES.
A fpoon?
CdM if the winner!
Utenfil claffification: YEF!
I waf ftarting to get worried you wouldn't get it.

Thankf to the great generofity of Raak I have hundredf of tiny (but rather fplintery) batonf to paff over. Here, have thif one.

Fo clofe yet fo far ;^)
Ahem *taps micro* Chalky? You there?
Well I have plenty more tiny batons if anyone else wants one...
[CdM] Is it the concept of suspense?
How about a Collective Consciousness round?
I shall channel my inner CdM and answer, NO.

Is it edible?

I can feel in my water...
that the answer is YES.

Is it an animal?

By the pricking of my thumbs...
that too is a YES

Does it begin with a P?
Consulting the seaweed...
Alas, that is a NO

Does it live in water?

The flight of the birds says...
that is also a NO

Is it a ...bird?

Tossing the I Ching sticks...
gives the answer YES.

Is it a duck?

NO, I don't think it's a duck.
Carry on, please
Yikes! Sorry! Forgot all about having made that guess.
Is it a well-known pie filling?
According to my latest tarot reading ..
It might be
Ha! I've got it - it's an ostrich, and it's over there!
*Escaping from pie factory*
Bugger! *hides in London underground network*
'S a tunnel. Scoddaby
Rural Lincolnshire invoked.
What, an edible tunnel? Lincs people are weird.
Well, that's golf for you. Is it......a NIBLICK?
Enough of ostriches
The next challenge is Animal

Is it human?
I was beginning to think that everyone had gone on strike.
No, Tuj, nor does it start with a 'P'.
Is it a mammal?
Is it an individual?
Does it... oh! Um... Is it alive?
(Boolbar) NO, Sir, although it might be described as such.
(Raak) NO
(Tuj)YES
Is it native to Australia?
Surprise! The audience gasps for air.
(Rosie) YES
Be it a monotreme?
Single stringed tremes
(Tuj) NO.Be it a treme or not, it don't lay no eggs, Sarr.
Was it once a treme but now a sadly burnt out ex-treme?
A marsupial?
Burnt alive?
(Rosie) NO. Is not New Orleans still jiving?
Pickpockets?
(Raak) YES.*The audience comes again alive*
A wallaby?
Gotta be. :-)
Hopping around the AOTC?
(Rosie) NO. *The audience sighs and goes back to sleep*
A collective noun of wombats?
Mythical?
Wombaticate dreaming?
(Bismarck) NO.
(Raak) NO, not at all - see the earlier answer to Tuj
In Australia?
*sighing*
(Software) I refer you to Rosie's first post in this game.
A quoll?
Quoll or quill the pen is mightier...
(Bismarck) NO.
Tasmanian Devil?
(Bismark) Sorry, been away
That Van Dieman fella?
Sorry, Softers, the answer is NO. In fact there are none of these animals on that wonderful island.
A mob of kangaroos?
Is it singular?
Individual
Individuals and 'roos
(Bismarck) Hardly (i.e. NO)
(Kago) Certainly not (i.e. also NO)
Koala?
Piss Pots?
(Software) YESSSS!
I pass to you a rough but furry baton. Be aware though that it has the propensity to leak.
Gosh! Is it me? I have been dozing.
Hmmm. Let me see: Ah, yes. Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connexions.
A human activity?
A piece of art?
An academic study of some kind?
42?
An alarm clock?
You deserved that, Software. :)
[Rosie]Something to do? Yes
[Bismark]Arty farty? No
[SM]Lurning? No
[Raak]Hitching? No
[Dujon]Wake up call? No
Physical law?
Anything to do with politics?
Related to agriculture?
[Raak] Physics? No
[Rosie] General incompetence? Up to a point, yes
[Dujon] Farmer Giles? No
Using a machine?
A law?
To do with Brexit?
[Superman] Mechanics? No.
[Bismarck] Legal? No (a smattering of weak claps in audience)
[Raak] The 'B' word? How dare you? No
A proverb?
[Raak] Proverbial? No
Bureaucracy?
Something to do with the armed forces?
[SM] Officialdom? - Yes (some of the audience clap)
[Dujon] Military? No
Hm, a little bit political and a little bit bureaucratic. But not military or educational. Religious?
An organization?
[SM] Faith? No (someone in the audience claps)
[Raak] Organization? No
The House of Commons?
[Bismarck] The madhouse? - Definitely No.
Red tape?
Health and Safety bollocks I mean culture?
I am on holiday for a couple of weeks so responses may be intermittent
[Duj] Officialdom? - No a smattering of weak claps from the audience)
[Rosie] More than my job's worth? - No
To do with a shared interest or activity?
I'm back!
[Raak]Common interest? YES some claps from audience
Are maps involved?
The Morniverse?
Sporting?
[Boolbar] Cartography? NO
[Raak] Here? NO but of course it does overlap with the AOTC
[Bismarck] Sporting? YES - in certain circumstances a few claps from the audience
Games of the board, card, and screen kind?
A trivia game?
A game of any other sort?
[All above] Nothing to do with games per se. A few claps from the audience
Distraction desperately engaged in to avoid despair at the sins of the world?
There might be a word for this, but I can't think what it is.
Commuting?
A shared human activity of a bureaucratic nature, possibly related to politics, which may involve sport or the Morniverse in some way.
[Raak] Hermit like? NO
[Superman] Daily grind? NO Hint: maybe the exact opposite - a couple of random claps from audience.
The Lotus Position ?
Competition?
Opposite of commuting ... hm, is that travelling for pleasure, or staying in one place while stuff comes to you? Visiting ? Having things delivered ?
Online shopping?
[To expand on the thought I had earlier]
[SM] Lazy mall? NO audience chuckles I suppose this could be an aspect of the AOTC which BTW has two words.
How remiss of me. * cleans glasses *
[Bismarck] Yoga stuff? - NO
[Dujon] Adversaries?- NO
Are we losing the will to live
Computers?
[Superman] Computers - NO.
Hint: AOTC 2 words. There is a limited number of these. The term refers to the UK only.
Give way?
Is there a connection to the calendar?
[Bismarck] Road signage, I presume. - NO
[SM] Dates? - YES * audience claps furiously *
A bank holiday?
Bingo!
[Bismarck] You are on the money. Hands over damp baton.
Oohh, ta ever so much. I'll spend the money down at the seaside.
The game commences...
This one is Vegetable in its essence.
Is it tomato ketchup?
Is it alive?
Is it something extracted from a plant?
Beginning with 'P'?
Is it cubic?
[Simons Mith] NOT a table condiment.
[Rosie] NOT living.
[Raak] YES, it is extracted from a plant.
[Software] NOT beginning with "P".
The audience that made it back from the interval are engaged in polite applause.
Does it begin with E?
[Softers] Cheeky :D
[Tuj] Nice to hear from you. Let me state that there are two words on the card, NEITHER beginning with "E".
A spice?
Is it cubic and am I repeating myself?
A poison?
Is this generally brewed in hot water prior to ingestion?
[Raak] NOT a spice.
[Boolbar 1] NOT cubic, though this does usually have a geometric shape.
[Boolbar 2] Sorry, dear.
[Rosie] NOT a poison.
[Dujon] NOT a hot drink, but it is cooked involving a little water. The audience is still showing signs of interest.
Pasta?
Processed in some way?
[Raak] NO, definitely not Italian.
[Software] Hmmm... YES, on balance, in the sense that this requires mixing of ingredients and cooking.
The audience is maintaining a polite silence.
A cake?
Bovril?
A primary ingredient like sugar for example?
[Raak] NOT a cake.
[Super] NOT Bovril.
[Software] NOT sugar, though it is the major ingredient.
Smartphones have made their appearance among the audience. Bored? Surely not...
Is fruit involved?
Fairy/Candy Floss?
[Raak] NO, not as such.
[Dijon] NO, but that deserves a round of applause.
Hoots and skirls from the Scots in the audience, mumbles of approval from the Yorkshiremen. Some muted cries of "Not bad!" from the polite seats.
Glacé cherries?
A well-known Scottish delicacy, they are.
Hot chocolate?
A sugar basket?
[S.M.] NO, Nice try but no fruit.
[SW] NO, not a drink.
[R] Getting close, at least as far as the sugar goes, but a bit too high-class. Still a NO.
The part of the audience who know what a sugar basket is give a restrained round of applause.
… Glacé potatoes?
1) Toffee? 2) Everton mints?
[SimonsM] Sell that idea to McCain's!
[Simons Mith] NO. Great idea though.
[Superman] Nice thinking! Toffee is almost a yes, it could be argued that it's an ingredient, Everton mints are getting closer, but NO!
The interest of the audience is being maintained, with some "Ooohs!" showing their appreciation.
So not glacé haggis either. Fudge
Tablet?
Scotch tablet?
(The second of those was supposed to replace the first. )
Caramel?
[Simons Mith] NOT fudge. Quite the opposite, down-to-earth sort of thing, this.
[Raak] NO, although that is the name of the next-but-one release of Android (with built-in joke).
[Software] NOT caramel.
This is all going a bit soft. Murmurs heard among the audience.
A boiled sweet?
[Raak] YES it is made in that way.
Sensation in the audience.
Audience snoring
Two words on the card...
Is it some sort of mint?
[Boolbar] Maybe mint flavouring is available, but the AOTC is not actually a mint.
Hint: it doesn't come from Yorkshire
Brighton Rock?
[CdM] What, the book by Graham Greene? But seriously, NO, but that is so close. Try a different coast.
Audience give thunderous applause.
Gone quiet in here...
Jailhouse Rock?
Surely there's a prison somewhere that makes its own...
Does the name on the rock also relate to a tower?
Is the place one of which John Clute, the science fiction critic, remarked that it was the first time he had seen pigeons pecking at human vomit in the streets?
[Simon's Mith] No, although there is a prison not too far away.
[Dujon] Yes indeed.
[Raak] Among other things Mr Clute was shocked at, yes indeed. No doubt Canada is more cultured.
A polite hush descends, breathlessly awaiting the answer...
Plymouth Rock?
Got it, surely!!
The tranquillity is breached by [CdM] getting it wrong. Not Inchcape Rock, Fraggle Rock or any other mineral, just to save you the trouble.
Audience murmurs reach force three.
Morecambe Rock?
Liverpool rock's more usually termed 'Mersey Beat', isn't it?
[CdM] YES!! Actually NO, but I'm getting fed up.
[Simon's Mith] Other than those witnesses to global warming, the Arctic Monkeys. Please stick to the subject.
The audience has formed an action group and are shouting "What do we want? The Answer! When do we want it? NOW!"
Fleetwood Rock?
Am I getting warmer?
Blackpool Rock
Gotta be!
I was going to say that CdM was close enough for me, but Blackpool rock it is, so Rosie cannot be denied. Rosie will now take this sweet baton (not that end, I've been sucking it there) and note that it has the word WINNER written all the way through!
Audience clap Rosie politely
Good heavens, I've won. There's lucky, inni' aye.

We'd better quickly have another one.

This is ABSTRACT and absolutely nothing whatever to do with steam engines.

Everything that has nothing whatever to do with steam engines?
(CdM) Multiple Choice answers are forbidden in that they violate the essential rigour of the Morniverse.
Does music come into it?
(Superman) Music? NO.
Philosophical?
(Bismark) NO, nothing to do with philosophy.
Would this be related to the sub-conscience rather than conscienceness?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with thought processes.
Is it a method or plan of some kind?
(Simons Mith) No, not a method or plan.
A saying?
(Raak) NOT a saying.
Weather related?
A measurement?
(Boolbar) Weather related? YES. *thunderous (sic) applause*
(Simons Mith) A measurement? YES. *slight murmurs of disapproval*
A record?
(Raak) NO, not a record.
Is it localised?
(Bismarck) Localised? YES, sort of.
The eye of a hurricane?
Climate change?
(CdM) NOT the eye of a hurricane.
(Raak) NOT Climate Change.
Is it too darn hot?
(Superman) Too darn hot? NO, but *considerable audience murmurings*
Something meteorologists do?
(Raak) Something meteorologists do? NO. The AOTC is one word, a noun.
Scorchio?
... actually that's a verb. Wrong again. Hi Rosie
Is it 'isobar'?
(Chalky) Hello, m'dear, nice to see you again. Unfortunately your suggestion is wrong. Isn't scorchio an adjective? If I may indulge myself I would suggest that it is a Welsh verb, the -io- ending being the giveaway. Could mean "to burn the toast" &c.
(Simons Mith) NO, not an isobar, nothing quite so technical.
Weather?
Fog?
(Raak) NO, not weather.
(Bismarck) NO, not fog.
Temperature?
(Chalky) Temperature? NO. *some murmurs from the audience*
Drought?
YESS! Superman has it. The total absence of aqueous entities. Take this baton and give it a wipe 'cos it's been standing about in the rain.
Ze next round
Counters set to zero, AOTC generator enclenched, combobulator aligned, sphinx tube at operating temperature, and posting a live Facebook stream. Ok, that should do it. This is MINERAL, and may God bless all that sail in her.
A bathtub?
Is it a single object?
Mainly metal?
Episode 1, in which certain questions are raised
[Simon] NO
[Raak] NO
[Rosie] On balance, and after some research showing that no-one is too clear what it is made of, NO.
Is it found on Earth?
Does water come in to it?
Chapter 2, in which questions do not reveal answers
[Raak] On balance, NO, in the sense that the earth is not its natural habitat, but reports have mentioned it being found here.
[Bismark] NO.
Is it found in the Solar System?
Edscottite?
A hot plasma?
Section 3, in which our thoughts take us far away
[Raak] NO, although some "reports" etc. etc.
[CdM] NO, but that gets a big round of applause from the audience.
[Rosie] NO.
The material of an extremely dense object?
Is it found in our galaxy?
Dark matter?
Part 4, in which Jane realises that the Comte de Chambord is up to no good, and she says "NO" a lot.
[Rosie] NO.
[Raak] The galaxy being big an' all, who knows, there may well be some. But otherwise NO, though some "reports" etc. etc.
[Bism] That gets a round of applause only for the inventiveness. NO.
Is it fictional?
Is its existence anywhere speculative?
Kryptonite?
Fit the Fifth, in which all is revealed
[Rosie] YES. Now we're getting somewhere.
[Raak] Also YES.
[Simon] YES. Kryptonite it is.
Studio tapes of hard static played, imitating applause.
Please take this green, glowing baton, it's been having a bad effect on me.
Hm, well this green otherworldly glow I'm seeing is inspiring me. Let's try... VEGETABLE.
Edible?
Is it processed or in a natural state?
[Rosie] NO
[Superman] Also NO.
Wood?
[Raak] NO.
Some sort of fungus?
Fictional?
Beginning with 'P'?
[Raak] NO.
[Boolbar] AYE.
[Software] NO.
Liftwood?
I'm asking for Stevie, here
[Bismevie] NO.
Is this a piece of botany taken from the Harry Potter books?
The Luggage?
[Raak] NO. But that's another cool idea
[Superman] NO. Oops, nearly missed that one. Sorry.
Grass?
[Bismarck] NO.
A flower?
An alga?
[Bismarck] YUP.
[Superman] NO.
So we're looking for an imaginary, inedible flower which doesn't appear in Harry Potter.
[Bismarck] YES!
Is it from a television program?
[Boolbar] YYYYES.
Weed?
(from Bill and Ben. Not that I remember that programme. Definitely not. My grandparents used to tell me about it.)
[CdM] NO.
Clue?
I'll give out a clue on Sunday if there's no movement.
Is it from a sci-fi programme?
[Boolbar] AFFIRMATIVE.
Is it carnivorous?
[CdM] ABSATIVELY.
Were triffids carnivorous?
Does it say "FEEED MEEEE"?
A winner
[Bismarck] YES. Well I thought they were. Don't they sting you, then leave you to rot and soak up the juices? Perhaps that technically counts as something else. But AIUI even carnivorous plants only use meat as a dietary supplement.
[Raak] No, just clackclackclack as far as I remember.
Bismarck has it.
I'll just put on a nice thick pair of gloves and then hand over this... baton.
And so it begins again...
No way I am touching that thing. Right, here is the mystery voice to tell the audience, but you lot only get to know that it's
VEGETABLE.
Let's do it traditionally
Forgot the line. So let's see your ideas for another
VEGETABLE.
Fictional?
[Boolbar] NO, my in-laws had one.
Often found potted?
[Dujon] NEVER found potted.
A tree?
Air plant?
You can get trees in pots. You just need a bigger pot. Or a smaller tree.
[Raak] NOT a tree. Though it might once have been one.
[Simons Mith] NOT an air plant.
Unique?
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An item of furniture?
[Simons Mith] YES, it is an item of furniture. Much braying and waving of IKEA catalogues in the audience.
A dresser?
I'm thinking, a slightly uncommon item of furniture.
Is it for putting things in?
[Simon's Mith] NO, not a dresser. The AOTC might have turned up in the eponymous film, I shouldn't wonder.
[Raak] I feel it would make a rather unwieldy tool, so NO.
Did Dr. Caligari have one?
[Raak] He might well have done, though AFAIK there wasn't one in his cabinet. So NO.
Is it commonly upholstered?
Half-way there, and it's looking good...
[Simons Mith] NEVER upholstered, commonly or not.
A lampstand?
[Raak] NOT a lampstand. Note for Chelsea supporters: there is no such thing as a "tand."
Is it for sitting upon?
[Boolbar] NOT for sitting on.
A hatstand?
A footstool?
A hammock?
A set of sstocks?
*stocks
[Simons Mith] NOT a hat stand, NOR a hammock.
[Software] NOT a footstool.
[Raak] NOT a set of stocks.
Is it for sleeping on?
Is it a notable example of a whatever-it-is?
Does it have a pointy end?
[Raak] NO, that is not its primary function.
[Simons Mith] NO, this is a generic item.
[Boolbar] There MAY BE examples that have finials and thingummies, but it isn't necessary for the definition of the whatever-it-is.
Is it a dumb waiter?
A church pew?
A lectern?
Definitely not for sitting on.
BTW the mental picture I'm painting of your in-laws is getting stranger by the minute.
Your twenty questions are up...
[Superman] NOT a dumb waiter.
[Raak] NOT a church pew.
[Simon's Mith, who henceforth will be spelt with an apostrophe as I can't be bothered correcting it any more] NOT a lectern.
A hint - found in a house.
Usually found in a kitchen?
Do IKEA sell them?
[Boolbar] NOT usually found in the kitchen.
[Raak] YES, in a very stripped-down Swedish sort of way.
Do you put things on this thing?
[Raak] YES, you can put things smaller than this thing on this thing.
A shelf?
[Software] NO, not a shelf, but the thingy is shelfish to an extent.
A mantelpiece?
[Simon's Mith] NO, the whatchamacallit is not a mantelpiece.
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Going back to the fundamentals...
[Raak] YES, the thingy is larger than a toaster.
A Welsh dresser?
You're on the right lines, look for the curios. [Superman] NO, the rabbit is not a Welsh dresser.
Is it for displaying knick-knackery, bric-a-brac, trinkets, curios, and the like?
[Raak] YES, that is the most common usage of the whatever-it-is.
A cabinet of curiosities?
Although I have a hard time imagining IKEA stocking one.
[Raak] Well, there's the KASSEBY...
[Raak] NO, not a cabinet. IKEA still have a thing under the name of some fruit that could be described as the AOTC, but the version I found when the subject came up first has now disappeared from the catalogue.
I have no idea. Is that it?
Is it a display case sold with a subscription to receive a uniquely designed collectible thimble every month until you build up a treasured heirloom to pass on to your descendants, who will after a decent but short interval (say, on return from the funeral) chuck it in the bin?
People who collect thimbles (it says on a thimble-collecting site) are known as Digitabulists. How very depressing.
Ideas for names of occasional furniture seem to be drying up
[Raak] NO.
[Superman] YES, the thingamajig does seem to be something you don't know.
A vitrine?
[Raak] NO. No glass involved.
Does it normally stand on the floor?
[Raak] YES. The audience has got up a petition to give you the prize for sheer effort.
Does it typically have (just) one leg?
Does it have wheels?
[Raak] Not sure if that's typical - the one my in-laws have has only one leg. Let's say YES.
[Simons Mith] NO wheels on this whatsit.
Would one typically put a specific type of item on this thing?
Is it usually found in a corner of a room?
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, I thank that's fair.
All gone away..
Spoiler alert...
Is it characteristic of a particular region of the world?
An umbrella stand?
[Raak] I would have sworn that the whatsit was peculiarly British, but my in-laws also have one and they're Belgian. It was quite a culture shock.
[Software] NO.
An elephant's-foot wastebasket?
Is it foldable?
Is it usually fixed to a wall as well as standing on one leg?
[Raak] NO, perish the thought.
[Simons Mith] NO. The idea will be passed to MFI, though, you could be on to something.
[Boolbar] NO.
Does anything hang from it?
[Raak] NO, the thingummy does not so serve.
Is it portable or mobile?
I found some old-fashioned portable desks and things that seem to fit all the constraints applied so far.
Is it some type of table?
A tallboy?
[Boolbar] NO, not some kind of table.
[Raak] NO, not a tallboy, though I have no doubt that a room with a tall boy, a vitrine, an elephant's foot basket and maybe a Welsh dresser would also have one of the AOTC.
Is there a specific type of thing that this thing is designed to have put on it?
[Raak] NO, quite the opposite.
A drawer?
Is the Ikea LILLÅNGEN End Unit an example?
[Software] NO, drawers are very rare.
[Raak] SORT OF, but these whatchamacallits are always open framed, so you'd have to take the sides and door off, probably ditch the MDF for real wood, make the shelves smaller as they rose (optional, but traditional), and make the frame somewhat decorative carved.
I asked the Internet again and while you can still buy these things (including a modern plastic and aluminium version which gave me a frisson of horror), their heyday was before WW1.
And the winner is...
To be decided in a celebrity boxing match.
Late inspiration
It's not a box is it? A one-legged box?
Does part of the thing rotate?
Simons Mith] NO, not a box. Clues have been made as to the nature of the wotsit, though.
[Boolbar] NO, it doesn't rotate. No mechanism involved.
A plant stand?
No self-respecting Victorian would go without an Aspedestra.
[Software] This is a typical usage of the AOTC, as a stand for aspidistras and objets d'art... but it has a specific name, so NO.
A jardinière?
[Raak] NO. That's too specific, you can put bric-à-brac, mementoes and whatnot on this as well.
A cachepot?
[Raak] NO.
A whatnot?
Ah, grandchildren, gather round and I'll tell you the story of The Never-Ending Game.
Or you can ask Uncle Software, he did win it.
Congratulations - a whatnot it is! Take this baton-shaped objet d'art once owned by a lady from North Wales and give us your estimation of the insurance value.
Bugger! Now I must think of something.
OK, here goes: ANIMAL and VEGETABLE , that's it.
Is there a tree of some kind
Customarily eaten?
Is this a symbiosis?
A vegan? ;)
[Boolbar] In a way sometimes, YES.
[Raak] YES
[Bismarck] NO
[Dujon] Vegan? There's a thought. NO.
A sandwich?
A pie?
Is it cooked?
[Raak] Sarnie> NO
[Boolbar] Who ate them all? YES but not the AOTC
[Superman] Oven ready - or is that a hackneyed phrase? YES
A pie containing four-and-twenty blackbirds?
Is the vegetable bit fruit?
A mince pie?
[Raak] Close but no cigar
[Bismarck] Fruity? Oh YES, but
[Rosie] is on the money! YES. - Hands over the chocolate log shaped baton.
WOO! I jes lurve Min Spies. Sorry, I've had to eat the baton before it melts.

And the next object is ABSTRACT

Is it the thought of eating a mince pie?
Christmas?
Is it the answer?
(Boolbar) Nice, but alas, no.
(Raak) No - thank God
(Superman) No. I'm not clever enough to do recursiveness.
An English idiom?
Connected with the current season?
Whether that be winter, Christmas, Kwanzanukkawali, etc.
Does it begin with P?
(Software) Not an idiom.
(Raak) Not seasonal in any way.
(Tuj) Begins with a P? YES.
Is it property ?
Mathematical?
An art form?
A state of mind?
(Bismarck) Property? Only in the sense that many people have one of these, but realistically NO.
(Boolbar) There is a connection with maths but it is so broad and vague as to be worthless. So, NO.
(Raak) I doubt even Tracey Emin could make art out of this, so NO.
(Software) NO, not a state of mind.
A paradox?
(Raak) A paradox? NO.
A science?
A pseudonym?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a science.
(Raak) A pseudonym? NO, but *some audience animation*.
Is it psychological?
(Bismarck) Psychological? NO.
Profession?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a profession.
A nickname?
Does it come from the Greek?
(Softers) A nickname? Strictly speaking NO but the AOTC does have some of the properties of a nickname. *alert members of the audience perk up*
(Radox the Green) NO, not from the Greek.
A patronym?
I was wondering about that earlier.
(Simons Mith) Like all Welsh surnames? NO, not a patronym.
A secret identity?
An acronym?
(Softers) An acronym? YES. *whoops of delight from thosemembers of the audience who know what an acronym is*
Is it a socio-economic classification?
I can't think of a 'P' word for it, but things like NIMBYs, DINKies, CHAVs, AMRAAMs and so on.
(Simons Mith) Socio-economic classification? NO.
(Raak) A secret identity? YES. *great audience animation*
Peter Parker?
Personal Identification PIN Number?
Does the acronym contain more than three letters?
Is it letters after your name?
SIMONS MITH has it! It's a PIN. Well done.

The baton passes on.......

All right, let's go for MINERAL
Is there just one of this?
[Raak] NO.
Are there just fourteen of these?
Is this a manufactured object?
Is it found on Earth?
[CdM] No.

[Rosie] Yes.

[Boolbar] Yes.

Is the quantity of these expressive as the sum of two primes?
[Radox The Green] Why yes, yes it is.
Is it metallic?
Are you assuming Goldbach's Conjecture?
[Software] No.

[Raak] No.

Made of plastic?
Is it liquid?
[Raak] No.

[Bismarck] No.

Is it made of concrete?
Are there fewer than fourteen of these?
Is it a memorial?
[Raak] No. Although I presume some are.

[CdM] No.

[Superman] No again.

Could the average Morniverser lift one of these?
Man-made?
Is it a type of gemstone?
Are these all in one country?
[Rosie] No.

[Raak] YES

[Superman] No.

[Boolbar] No.

A building?
Does it begin with P?
Bigger than a toaster?
[Superman] Nay.

[pTuj] Nay.

[Raak] Aye.

Bigger than an elephant?
Does it emit musical sounds?
But is it art?
Do they come in pairs?
[Raak] No

[Bismarck] No.

[Tuj] No.

[Boolbar] Also no.

Are they very valuable?
A means of transport?
Ceramic?
[Raak] No.

[Rosie] ... No.

[Superman]... No.

Is it a rock?
[Bismarck] No. What would count as a man-made rock?
[SM] Wouldn't a lump of concrete be a man-made rock?
Can you buy one on Amazon?
Anything to do with gardening?
[Raak, man-made rocks] I suppose. I suspect a geologist might be harder to convince.

[Amazon] No, they don't sell 'em. That eliminates a lot.

[Rosie] No, not a thing.

Is it a tool?
Fake rocks for sale and methods of manufacture are common on The Internet...
[Bismarck] Not a tool.

[Fake rocks] This is getting philosophical, but if it's a fake rock, it's not a real rock, and if it's not a real rock, it's not a rock. Right?

One of the Milton Keynes concrete cows?
[Rosie] No. Concrete had already been eliminated.
Is it made of stone?
[Superman] Nope.
Does it require electricity?
Are they usually wet?
[Tuj, electrickery] No.

[Boolbar, moistery] No, not even in Ireland or New Zealand. I admit in Kiwiland it might be close.

just a question
So if mineral is chosen, is that just like a thing that isn't an animal or a plant (vegetable)?
[KagomeShuko] It does tend to get a bit blurry if you look at it too closely. I think we'd all agree coal and plastic are mineral, for example. [But if someone does pipe up to disagree, that shows it's even closer than I'd thought.]
Are these concentrated in one particular area of the world?
Are they typically fixed to the ground?
Is anyone offering one on eBay?
question - is this correct
Being American, mineral is something extremely specific. One site told me, "English people define everything as being either Animal (if it is alive) Vegetable (if it grows) or Mineral (if it isn't alive, doesn't grow and comes from the ground.)"
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