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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Fleetwood Rock?
Am I getting warmer?
Blackpool Rock
Gotta be!
I was going to say that CdM was close enough for me, but Blackpool rock it is, so Rosie cannot be denied. Rosie will now take this sweet baton (not that end, I've been sucking it there) and note that it has the word WINNER written all the way through!
Audience clap Rosie politely
Good heavens, I've won. There's lucky, inni' aye.

We'd better quickly have another one.

This is ABSTRACT and absolutely nothing whatever to do with steam engines.

Everything that has nothing whatever to do with steam engines?
(CdM) Multiple Choice answers are forbidden in that they violate the essential rigour of the Morniverse.
Does music come into it?
(Superman) Music? NO.
Philosophical?
(Bismark) NO, nothing to do with philosophy.
Would this be related to the sub-conscience rather than conscienceness?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with thought processes.
Is it a method or plan of some kind?
(Simons Mith) No, not a method or plan.
A saying?
(Raak) NOT a saying.
Weather related?
A measurement?
(Boolbar) Weather related? YES. *thunderous (sic) applause*
(Simons Mith) A measurement? YES. *slight murmurs of disapproval*
A record?
(Raak) NO, not a record.
Is it localised?
(Bismarck) Localised? YES, sort of.
The eye of a hurricane?
Climate change?
(CdM) NOT the eye of a hurricane.
(Raak) NOT Climate Change.
Is it too darn hot?
(Superman) Too darn hot? NO, but *considerable audience murmurings*
Something meteorologists do?
(Raak) Something meteorologists do? NO. The AOTC is one word, a noun.
Scorchio?
... actually that's a verb. Wrong again. Hi Rosie
Is it 'isobar'?
(Chalky) Hello, m'dear, nice to see you again. Unfortunately your suggestion is wrong. Isn't scorchio an adjective? If I may indulge myself I would suggest that it is a Welsh verb, the -io- ending being the giveaway. Could mean "to burn the toast" &c.
(Simons Mith) NO, not an isobar, nothing quite so technical.
Weather?
Fog?
(Raak) NO, not weather.
(Bismarck) NO, not fog.
Temperature?
(Chalky) Temperature? NO. *some murmurs from the audience*
Drought?
YESS! Superman has it. The total absence of aqueous entities. Take this baton and give it a wipe 'cos it's been standing about in the rain.
Ze next round
Counters set to zero, AOTC generator enclenched, combobulator aligned, sphinx tube at operating temperature, and posting a live Facebook stream. Ok, that should do it. This is MINERAL, and may God bless all that sail in her.
A bathtub?
Is it a single object?
Mainly metal?
Episode 1, in which certain questions are raised
[Simon] NO
[Raak] NO
[Rosie] On balance, and after some research showing that no-one is too clear what it is made of, NO.
Is it found on Earth?
Does water come in to it?
Chapter 2, in which questions do not reveal answers
[Raak] On balance, NO, in the sense that the earth is not its natural habitat, but reports have mentioned it being found here.
[Bismark] NO.
Is it found in the Solar System?
Edscottite?
A hot plasma?
Section 3, in which our thoughts take us far away
[Raak] NO, although some "reports" etc. etc.
[CdM] NO, but that gets a big round of applause from the audience.
[Rosie] NO.
The material of an extremely dense object?
Is it found in our galaxy?
Dark matter?
Part 4, in which Jane realises that the Comte de Chambord is up to no good, and she says "NO" a lot.
[Rosie] NO.
[Raak] The galaxy being big an' all, who knows, there may well be some. But otherwise NO, though some "reports" etc. etc.
[Bism] That gets a round of applause only for the inventiveness. NO.
Is it fictional?
Is its existence anywhere speculative?
Kryptonite?
Fit the Fifth, in which all is revealed
[Rosie] YES. Now we're getting somewhere.
[Raak] Also YES.
[Simon] YES. Kryptonite it is.
Studio tapes of hard static played, imitating applause.
Please take this green, glowing baton, it's been having a bad effect on me.
Hm, well this green otherworldly glow I'm seeing is inspiring me. Let's try... VEGETABLE.
Edible?
Is it processed or in a natural state?
[Rosie] NO
[Superman] Also NO.
Wood?
[Raak] NO.
Some sort of fungus?
Fictional?
Beginning with 'P'?
[Raak] NO.
[Boolbar] AYE.
[Software] NO.
Liftwood?
I'm asking for Stevie, here
[Bismevie] NO.
Is this a piece of botany taken from the Harry Potter books?
The Luggage?
[Raak] NO. But that's another cool idea
[Superman] NO. Oops, nearly missed that one. Sorry.
Grass?
[Bismarck] NO.
A flower?
An alga?
[Bismarck] YUP.
[Superman] NO.
So we're looking for an imaginary, inedible flower which doesn't appear in Harry Potter.
[Bismarck] YES!
Is it from a television program?
[Boolbar] YYYYES.
Weed?
(from Bill and Ben. Not that I remember that programme. Definitely not. My grandparents used to tell me about it.)
[CdM] NO.
Clue?
I'll give out a clue on Sunday if there's no movement.
Is it from a sci-fi programme?
[Boolbar] AFFIRMATIVE.
Is it carnivorous?
[CdM] ABSATIVELY.
Were triffids carnivorous?
Does it say "FEEED MEEEE"?
A winner
[Bismarck] YES. Well I thought they were. Don't they sting you, then leave you to rot and soak up the juices? Perhaps that technically counts as something else. But AIUI even carnivorous plants only use meat as a dietary supplement.
[Raak] No, just clackclackclack as far as I remember.
Bismarck has it.
I'll just put on a nice thick pair of gloves and then hand over this... baton.
And so it begins again...
No way I am touching that thing. Right, here is the mystery voice to tell the audience, but you lot only get to know that it's
VEGETABLE.
Let's do it traditionally
Forgot the line. So let's see your ideas for another
VEGETABLE.
Fictional?
[Boolbar] NO, my in-laws had one.
Often found potted?
[Dujon] NEVER found potted.
A tree?
Air plant?
You can get trees in pots. You just need a bigger pot. Or a smaller tree.
[Raak] NOT a tree. Though it might once have been one.
[Simons Mith] NOT an air plant.
Unique?
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An item of furniture?
[Simons Mith] YES, it is an item of furniture. Much braying and waving of IKEA catalogues in the audience.
A dresser?
I'm thinking, a slightly uncommon item of furniture.
Is it for putting things in?
[Simon's Mith] NO, not a dresser. The AOTC might have turned up in the eponymous film, I shouldn't wonder.
[Raak] I feel it would make a rather unwieldy tool, so NO.
Did Dr. Caligari have one?
[Raak] He might well have done, though AFAIK there wasn't one in his cabinet. So NO.
Is it commonly upholstered?
Half-way there, and it's looking good...
[Simons Mith] NEVER upholstered, commonly or not.
A lampstand?
[Raak] NOT a lampstand. Note for Chelsea supporters: there is no such thing as a "tand."
Is it for sitting upon?
[Boolbar] NOT for sitting on.
A hatstand?
A footstool?
A hammock?
A set of sstocks?
*stocks
[Simons Mith] NOT a hat stand, NOR a hammock.
[Software] NOT a footstool.
[Raak] NOT a set of stocks.
Is it for sleeping on?
Is it a notable example of a whatever-it-is?
Does it have a pointy end?
[Raak] NO, that is not its primary function.
[Simons Mith] NO, this is a generic item.
[Boolbar] There MAY BE examples that have finials and thingummies, but it isn't necessary for the definition of the whatever-it-is.
Is it a dumb waiter?
A church pew?
A lectern?
Definitely not for sitting on.
BTW the mental picture I'm painting of your in-laws is getting stranger by the minute.
Your twenty questions are up...
[Superman] NOT a dumb waiter.
[Raak] NOT a church pew.
[Simon's Mith, who henceforth will be spelt with an apostrophe as I can't be bothered correcting it any more] NOT a lectern.
A hint - found in a house.
Usually found in a kitchen?
Do IKEA sell them?
[Boolbar] NOT usually found in the kitchen.
[Raak] YES, in a very stripped-down Swedish sort of way.
Do you put things on this thing?
[Raak] YES, you can put things smaller than this thing on this thing.
A shelf?
[Software] NO, not a shelf, but the thingy is shelfish to an extent.
A mantelpiece?
[Simon's Mith] NO, the whatchamacallit is not a mantelpiece.
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Going back to the fundamentals...
[Raak] YES, the thingy is larger than a toaster.
A Welsh dresser?
You're on the right lines, look for the curios. [Superman] NO, the rabbit is not a Welsh dresser.
Is it for displaying knick-knackery, bric-a-brac, trinkets, curios, and the like?
[Raak] YES, that is the most common usage of the whatever-it-is.
A cabinet of curiosities?
Although I have a hard time imagining IKEA stocking one.
[Raak] Well, there's the KASSEBY...
[Raak] NO, not a cabinet. IKEA still have a thing under the name of some fruit that could be described as the AOTC, but the version I found when the subject came up first has now disappeared from the catalogue.
I have no idea. Is that it?
Is it a display case sold with a subscription to receive a uniquely designed collectible thimble every month until you build up a treasured heirloom to pass on to your descendants, who will after a decent but short interval (say, on return from the funeral) chuck it in the bin?
People who collect thimbles (it says on a thimble-collecting site) are known as Digitabulists. How very depressing.
Ideas for names of occasional furniture seem to be drying up
[Raak] NO.
[Superman] YES, the thingamajig does seem to be something you don't know.
A vitrine?
[Raak] NO. No glass involved.
Does it normally stand on the floor?
[Raak] YES. The audience has got up a petition to give you the prize for sheer effort.
Does it typically have (just) one leg?
Does it have wheels?
[Raak] Not sure if that's typical - the one my in-laws have has only one leg. Let's say YES.
[Simons Mith] NO wheels on this whatsit.
Would one typically put a specific type of item on this thing?
Is it usually found in a corner of a room?
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, I thank that's fair.
All gone away..
Spoiler alert...
Is it characteristic of a particular region of the world?
An umbrella stand?
[Raak] I would have sworn that the whatsit was peculiarly British, but my in-laws also have one and they're Belgian. It was quite a culture shock.
[Software] NO.
An elephant's-foot wastebasket?
Is it foldable?
Is it usually fixed to a wall as well as standing on one leg?
[Raak] NO, perish the thought.
[Simons Mith] NO. The idea will be passed to MFI, though, you could be on to something.
[Boolbar] NO.
Does anything hang from it?
[Raak] NO, the thingummy does not so serve.
Is it portable or mobile?
I found some old-fashioned portable desks and things that seem to fit all the constraints applied so far.
Is it some type of table?
A tallboy?
[Boolbar] NO, not some kind of table.
[Raak] NO, not a tallboy, though I have no doubt that a room with a tall boy, a vitrine, an elephant's foot basket and maybe a Welsh dresser would also have one of the AOTC.
Is there a specific type of thing that this thing is designed to have put on it?
[Raak] NO, quite the opposite.
A drawer?
Is the Ikea LILLÅNGEN End Unit an example?
[Software] NO, drawers are very rare.
[Raak] SORT OF, but these whatchamacallits are always open framed, so you'd have to take the sides and door off, probably ditch the MDF for real wood, make the shelves smaller as they rose (optional, but traditional), and make the frame somewhat decorative carved.
I asked the Internet again and while you can still buy these things (including a modern plastic and aluminium version which gave me a frisson of horror), their heyday was before WW1.
And the winner is...
To be decided in a celebrity boxing match.
Late inspiration
It's not a box is it? A one-legged box?
Does part of the thing rotate?
Simons Mith] NO, not a box. Clues have been made as to the nature of the wotsit, though.
[Boolbar] NO, it doesn't rotate. No mechanism involved.
A plant stand?
No self-respecting Victorian would go without an Aspedestra.
[Software] This is a typical usage of the AOTC, as a stand for aspidistras and objets d'art... but it has a specific name, so NO.
A jardinière?
[Raak] NO. That's too specific, you can put bric-à-brac, mementoes and whatnot on this as well.
A cachepot?
[Raak] NO.
A whatnot?
Ah, grandchildren, gather round and I'll tell you the story of The Never-Ending Game.
Or you can ask Uncle Software, he did win it.
Congratulations - a whatnot it is! Take this baton-shaped objet d'art once owned by a lady from North Wales and give us your estimation of the insurance value.
Bugger! Now I must think of something.
OK, here goes: ANIMAL and VEGETABLE , that's it.
Is there a tree of some kind
Customarily eaten?
Is this a symbiosis?
A vegan? ;)
[Boolbar] In a way sometimes, YES.
[Raak] YES
[Bismarck] NO
[Dujon] Vegan? There's a thought. NO.
A sandwich?
A pie?
Is it cooked?
[Raak] Sarnie> NO
[Boolbar] Who ate them all? YES but not the AOTC
[Superman] Oven ready - or is that a hackneyed phrase? YES
A pie containing four-and-twenty blackbirds?
Is the vegetable bit fruit?
A mince pie?
[Raak] Close but no cigar
[Bismarck] Fruity? Oh YES, but
[Rosie] is on the money! YES. - Hands over the chocolate log shaped baton.
WOO! I jes lurve Min Spies. Sorry, I've had to eat the baton before it melts.

And the next object is ABSTRACT

Is it the thought of eating a mince pie?
Christmas?
Is it the answer?
(Boolbar) Nice, but alas, no.
(Raak) No - thank God
(Superman) No. I'm not clever enough to do recursiveness.
An English idiom?
Connected with the current season?
Whether that be winter, Christmas, Kwanzanukkawali, etc.
Does it begin with P?
(Software) Not an idiom.
(Raak) Not seasonal in any way.
(Tuj) Begins with a P? YES.
Is it property ?
Mathematical?
An art form?
A state of mind?
(Bismarck) Property? Only in the sense that many people have one of these, but realistically NO.
(Boolbar) There is a connection with maths but it is so broad and vague as to be worthless. So, NO.
(Raak) I doubt even Tracey Emin could make art out of this, so NO.
(Software) NO, not a state of mind.
A paradox?
(Raak) A paradox? NO.
A science?
A pseudonym?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a science.
(Raak) A pseudonym? NO, but *some audience animation*.
Is it psychological?
(Bismarck) Psychological? NO.
Profession?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a profession.
A nickname?
Does it come from the Greek?
(Softers) A nickname? Strictly speaking NO but the AOTC does have some of the properties of a nickname. *alert members of the audience perk up*
(Radox the Green) NO, not from the Greek.
A patronym?
I was wondering about that earlier.
(Simons Mith) Like all Welsh surnames? NO, not a patronym.
A secret identity?
An acronym?
(Softers) An acronym? YES. *whoops of delight from thosemembers of the audience who know what an acronym is*
Is it a socio-economic classification?
I can't think of a 'P' word for it, but things like NIMBYs, DINKies, CHAVs, AMRAAMs and so on.
(Simons Mith) Socio-economic classification? NO.
(Raak) A secret identity? YES. *great audience animation*
Peter Parker?
Personal Identification PIN Number?
Does the acronym contain more than three letters?
Is it letters after your name?
SIMONS MITH has it! It's a PIN. Well done.

The baton passes on.......

All right, let's go for MINERAL
Is there just one of this?
[Raak] NO.
Are there just fourteen of these?
Is this a manufactured object?
Is it found on Earth?
[CdM] No.

[Rosie] Yes.

[Boolbar] Yes.

Is the quantity of these expressive as the sum of two primes?
[Radox The Green] Why yes, yes it is.
Is it metallic?
Are you assuming Goldbach's Conjecture?
[Software] No.

[Raak] No.

Made of plastic?
Is it liquid?
[Raak] No.

[Bismarck] No.

Is it made of concrete?
Are there fewer than fourteen of these?
Is it a memorial?
[Raak] No. Although I presume some are.

[CdM] No.

[Superman] No again.

Could the average Morniverser lift one of these?
Man-made?
Is it a type of gemstone?
Are these all in one country?
[Rosie] No.

[Raak] YES

[Superman] No.

[Boolbar] No.

A building?
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