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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Utensil census: YES.
Can two of these be used as a makeshift percussion instrument?
Utensil chorus: YES.
A fpoon?
CdM if the winner!
Utenfil claffification: YEF!
I waf ftarting to get worried you wouldn't get it.

Thankf to the great generofity of Raak I have hundredf of tiny (but rather fplintery) batonf to paff over. Here, have thif one.

Fo clofe yet fo far ;^)
Ahem *taps micro* Chalky? You there?
Well I have plenty more tiny batons if anyone else wants one...
[CdM] Is it the concept of suspense?
How about a Collective Consciousness round?
I shall channel my inner CdM and answer, NO.

Is it edible?

I can feel in my water...
that the answer is YES.

Is it an animal?

By the pricking of my thumbs...
that too is a YES

Does it begin with a P?
Consulting the seaweed...
Alas, that is a NO

Does it live in water?

The flight of the birds says...
that is also a NO

Is it a ...bird?

Tossing the I Ching sticks...
gives the answer YES.

Is it a duck?

NO, I don't think it's a duck.
Carry on, please
Yikes! Sorry! Forgot all about having made that guess.
Is it a well-known pie filling?
According to my latest tarot reading ..
It might be
Ha! I've got it - it's an ostrich, and it's over there!
*Escaping from pie factory*
Bugger! *hides in London underground network*
'S a tunnel. Scoddaby
Rural Lincolnshire invoked.
What, an edible tunnel? Lincs people are weird.
Well, that's golf for you. Is it......a NIBLICK?
Enough of ostriches
The next challenge is Animal

Is it human?
I was beginning to think that everyone had gone on strike.
No, Tuj, nor does it start with a 'P'.
Is it a mammal?
Is it an individual?
Does it... oh! Um... Is it alive?
(Boolbar) NO, Sir, although it might be described as such.
(Raak) NO
(Tuj)YES
Is it native to Australia?
Surprise! The audience gasps for air.
(Rosie) YES
Be it a monotreme?
Single stringed tremes
(Tuj) NO.Be it a treme or not, it don't lay no eggs, Sarr.
Was it once a treme but now a sadly burnt out ex-treme?
A marsupial?
Burnt alive?
(Rosie) NO. Is not New Orleans still jiving?
Pickpockets?
(Raak) YES.*The audience comes again alive*
A wallaby?
Gotta be. :-)
Hopping around the AOTC?
(Rosie) NO. *The audience sighs and goes back to sleep*
A collective noun of wombats?
Mythical?
Wombaticate dreaming?
(Bismarck) NO.
(Raak) NO, not at all - see the earlier answer to Tuj
In Australia?
*sighing*
(Software) I refer you to Rosie's first post in this game.
A quoll?
Quoll or quill the pen is mightier...
(Bismarck) NO.
Tasmanian Devil?
(Bismark) Sorry, been away
That Van Dieman fella?
Sorry, Softers, the answer is NO. In fact there are none of these animals on that wonderful island.
A mob of kangaroos?
Is it singular?
Individual
Individuals and 'roos
(Bismarck) Hardly (i.e. NO)
(Kago) Certainly not (i.e. also NO)
Koala?
Piss Pots?
(Software) YESSSS!
I pass to you a rough but furry baton. Be aware though that it has the propensity to leak.
Gosh! Is it me? I have been dozing.
Hmmm. Let me see: Ah, yes. Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connexions.
A human activity?
A piece of art?
An academic study of some kind?
42?
An alarm clock?
You deserved that, Software. :)
[Rosie]Something to do? Yes
[Bismark]Arty farty? No
[SM]Lurning? No
[Raak]Hitching? No
[Dujon]Wake up call? No
Physical law?
Anything to do with politics?
Related to agriculture?
[Raak] Physics? No
[Rosie] General incompetence? Up to a point, yes
[Dujon] Farmer Giles? No
Using a machine?
A law?
To do with Brexit?
[Superman] Mechanics? No.
[Bismarck] Legal? No (a smattering of weak claps in audience)
[Raak] The 'B' word? How dare you? No
A proverb?
[Raak] Proverbial? No
Bureaucracy?
Something to do with the armed forces?
[SM] Officialdom? - Yes (some of the audience clap)
[Dujon] Military? No
Hm, a little bit political and a little bit bureaucratic. But not military or educational. Religious?
An organization?
[SM] Faith? No (someone in the audience claps)
[Raak] Organization? No
The House of Commons?
[Bismarck] The madhouse? - Definitely No.
Red tape?
Health and Safety bollocks I mean culture?
I am on holiday for a couple of weeks so responses may be intermittent
[Duj] Officialdom? - No a smattering of weak claps from the audience)
[Rosie] More than my job's worth? - No
To do with a shared interest or activity?
I'm back!
[Raak]Common interest? YES some claps from audience
Are maps involved?
The Morniverse?
Sporting?
[Boolbar] Cartography? NO
[Raak] Here? NO but of course it does overlap with the AOTC
[Bismarck] Sporting? YES - in certain circumstances a few claps from the audience
Games of the board, card, and screen kind?
A trivia game?
A game of any other sort?
[All above] Nothing to do with games per se. A few claps from the audience
Distraction desperately engaged in to avoid despair at the sins of the world?
There might be a word for this, but I can't think what it is.
Commuting?
A shared human activity of a bureaucratic nature, possibly related to politics, which may involve sport or the Morniverse in some way.
[Raak] Hermit like? NO
[Superman] Daily grind? NO Hint: maybe the exact opposite - a couple of random claps from audience.
The Lotus Position ?
Competition?
Opposite of commuting ... hm, is that travelling for pleasure, or staying in one place while stuff comes to you? Visiting ? Having things delivered ?
Online shopping?
[To expand on the thought I had earlier]
[SM] Lazy mall? NO audience chuckles I suppose this could be an aspect of the AOTC which BTW has two words.
How remiss of me. * cleans glasses *
[Bismarck] Yoga stuff? - NO
[Dujon] Adversaries?- NO
Are we losing the will to live
Computers?
[Superman] Computers - NO.
Hint: AOTC 2 words. There is a limited number of these. The term refers to the UK only.
Give way?
Is there a connection to the calendar?
[Bismarck] Road signage, I presume. - NO
[SM] Dates? - YES * audience claps furiously *
A bank holiday?
Bingo!
[Bismarck] You are on the money. Hands over damp baton.
Oohh, ta ever so much. I'll spend the money down at the seaside.
The game commences...
This one is Vegetable in its essence.
Is it tomato ketchup?
Is it alive?
Is it something extracted from a plant?
Beginning with 'P'?
Is it cubic?
[Simons Mith] NOT a table condiment.
[Rosie] NOT living.
[Raak] YES, it is extracted from a plant.
[Software] NOT beginning with "P".
The audience that made it back from the interval are engaged in polite applause.
Does it begin with E?
[Softers] Cheeky :D
[Tuj] Nice to hear from you. Let me state that there are two words on the card, NEITHER beginning with "E".
A spice?
Is it cubic and am I repeating myself?
A poison?
Is this generally brewed in hot water prior to ingestion?
[Raak] NOT a spice.
[Boolbar 1] NOT cubic, though this does usually have a geometric shape.
[Boolbar 2] Sorry, dear.
[Rosie] NOT a poison.
[Dujon] NOT a hot drink, but it is cooked involving a little water. The audience is still showing signs of interest.
Pasta?
Processed in some way?
[Raak] NO, definitely not Italian.
[Software] Hmmm... YES, on balance, in the sense that this requires mixing of ingredients and cooking.
The audience is maintaining a polite silence.
A cake?
Bovril?
A primary ingredient like sugar for example?
[Raak] NOT a cake.
[Super] NOT Bovril.
[Software] NOT sugar, though it is the major ingredient.
Smartphones have made their appearance among the audience. Bored? Surely not...
Is fruit involved?
Fairy/Candy Floss?
[Raak] NO, not as such.
[Dijon] NO, but that deserves a round of applause.
Hoots and skirls from the Scots in the audience, mumbles of approval from the Yorkshiremen. Some muted cries of "Not bad!" from the polite seats.
Glacé cherries?
A well-known Scottish delicacy, they are.
Hot chocolate?
A sugar basket?
[S.M.] NO, Nice try but no fruit.
[SW] NO, not a drink.
[R] Getting close, at least as far as the sugar goes, but a bit too high-class. Still a NO.
The part of the audience who know what a sugar basket is give a restrained round of applause.
… Glacé potatoes?
1) Toffee? 2) Everton mints?
[SimonsM] Sell that idea to McCain's!
[Simons Mith] NO. Great idea though.
[Superman] Nice thinking! Toffee is almost a yes, it could be argued that it's an ingredient, Everton mints are getting closer, but NO!
The interest of the audience is being maintained, with some "Ooohs!" showing their appreciation.
So not glacé haggis either. Fudge
Tablet?
Scotch tablet?
(The second of those was supposed to replace the first. )
Caramel?
[Simons Mith] NOT fudge. Quite the opposite, down-to-earth sort of thing, this.
[Raak] NO, although that is the name of the next-but-one release of Android (with built-in joke).
[Software] NOT caramel.
This is all going a bit soft. Murmurs heard among the audience.
A boiled sweet?
[Raak] YES it is made in that way.
Sensation in the audience.
Audience snoring
Two words on the card...
Is it some sort of mint?
[Boolbar] Maybe mint flavouring is available, but the AOTC is not actually a mint.
Hint: it doesn't come from Yorkshire
Brighton Rock?
[CdM] What, the book by Graham Greene? But seriously, NO, but that is so close. Try a different coast.
Audience give thunderous applause.
Gone quiet in here...
Jailhouse Rock?
Surely there's a prison somewhere that makes its own...
Does the name on the rock also relate to a tower?
Is the place one of which John Clute, the science fiction critic, remarked that it was the first time he had seen pigeons pecking at human vomit in the streets?
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