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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Did it exist before the year 1000 A.D.?
Was it a gateway or entrance?
[Bismarck] Not built by a religious order.
[hi again!] Did not exist before 1000 AD.
[Boolbar] Applause! It was a gateway or entrance!
triumphal arch?
[B] Not a triumphal arch.
Is the AOTC a book title?
[B] Not a book title.
Are the 5 words of the AOTC in English?
[Bismarck] The words on the card are in English. (One might quibble about foreign proper names, but I won't.)
Was this gateway/entrance at the perimeter of a city?
I hear the song of the nightingale. The sun is warm, the wind is mild, willows are green along the shore - Here no Ox can hide!
[Boolbar] (more applause!!) Yes, a gateway at the perimeter of a city.
(going back to a happy hunting ground) Is this in the Ukraine?
I seize him with a terrific struggle. His great will and power are inexhaustible. He charges to the high plateau far above the cloud-mists, Or in an impenetrable ravine he stands.
[Bismarck] Yes, it is (was) in the Ukraine!
[We're showing our age there. It's "Ukraine" these days, not "the Ukraine".]
[Raak] "The Ukraine" still exists. It's a region, whereas "Ukraine" is the country.
Do precious metals come into this?
[Raak] is so close to nirvana that it seems a shame to hinder the process. For only on super-Himalayan heights may the Answer be revealed.
[Bismarck] Strictly speaking, no precious metals are involved in the building itself, although there is a popular connection.
All quietened down a bit now - how about the golden gate of Kiev?
Mounting the Ox, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me.
[Bismarck] (a round of applause!) Hm, should I award the prize? (Whispered conference with Mycroft, ending with Mycroft shaking his head.) The mineral thing is indeed the Golden Gate of Kiev (named golden only for the domes of a nearby church). But the words on the card name both this thing and an abstract thing which is not called the Golden Gate of Kiev.
Are we looking for a piece of music here?
I don't think it is anything to do with Chicken Kiev.
Astride the Ox, I reach home. I am serene. The Ox too can rest.
[Boolbar] We are indeed looking for a piece of music.
Gates, gold, Raak, Mussorgsky, all merge.
This heaven is so vast, no message can stain it.
Bismarck has it: The Great Gate of Kiev.
Winners comments
I said what? Plausible deniability, take a bow.
So let us return and mingle with this blissful world.
Right, this next one is Mineral, to keep the ball rolling, and there are three words on the card.
Is it man made?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Is the first word "The"?
Is there only one of this?
[GL] Artificial? No.
[Kn] Bigger than small? Yes.
[Ra] Definite article? Yes.
[Bo] Unique? Yes.
A precious stone?
[Ra] Gem-quality? No.
Liquid?
Is it a mountain?
Is it a natural feature?
[GL] No.
[Bo] No.
[Ro] Yes, on balance.
A waterway?
Is it larger than Wales?
[Ra] Wet? No.
[Bo] Fwy na Cymru? Yes.
England
Oi! Mwy na Chymru, 'sgwelwch yn dda.
Is it not on the Earth?
[Ro] Anglo? No.
[Bo] Extraterrestrial? Yes.
Mars?
[Ro] Red planet? No.
The Milky Way? (Other chocolate bars are available)
Is it within our Solar System?
[Kn] No.
[Bo] No.
Is it a galaxy?
Chocolate bar theme continuing.
A nebula?
Applause and the odd Janx spirit all around
[Bo] Yes!
Hidden textThey should have praline centres, all that black hole-at-the-centre theory is due for revision

[Ra] No.
The Magellanic Clouds?
[Ro] Star cluster? No.
The Andromeda Galaxy?
Take a bow, Boolbar!
The winning move and within twenty questions, a fine effort. Take this complimentary Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster and proceed to the winner's enclosure.
Recovers from hard hitting but lemony hangover
Wow! Winning this is out of this world! And thanks for the bow, I'll pop it in my hair. Um, the next one is
ABSTRACT & ANIMAL
Aslan?
A painting?
Animal part fearsome?
[Raak] No wardrobe based lion.
[Bismark] No framed masterpiece.
[Rosie] To some I'm sure. Frightening. Audience nodding
is the animal one that might be found in the wild?
Is the animal a snake?
[Bismarck] You wouldn't really say that about this animal, so let's go for no.
[Rosie] No.
Thinking about it, the AOTC is abstract involving an abstract animal, so my answer to Rosie's "fearsome" question is more to do with the abstract animal and not the isolated animal alone. Sorry for any confusion caused. I'm more awake today. As you were.
Is the animal extinct?
[Bismarck] Definitely not!
A sacred cow?
Is the AOTC an idiomatic phrase?
[Software] No.
[Rosie] No.
A mythological creature?
An heraldic animal?
Wonders when someone will ask the usual "animal" question.
[Raak] The AOTC is not a mythological creature, but the animal part does appear in myths.
[Superman] I can find examples of the animal part in heraldic crests, but is not usually thought of as such.
A snake in the grass?
[Raak] Alas no.
Cheshire cat?
[Bismarck] No grins for you either.
A quadruped?
Is the abstract bit a literary reference?
[Superman] No.
[Bismarck] Yes!   Audience wake up and applaud.
Is the animal a human?
[Gusset Login] Yes!
So we are looking for somebody in a book... Is the perspn one of those Hero With a Thousand Faces types?.
The man with no name?
[Bismarck] Not one of those types.
[Gusset Login] Not without a name.
An historical (real) personage?
Is the personage male?
[Superman & Bismarck] Can you share this "No" between you? I'm running out of them. Neither real or male.
Is she a religious figure?
Does she have a statue in Denmark?
Liberty?
Britannia?
[All] No! Although I can't guarantee that there is not a statue somewhere in Denmark made by a bored sculptor and placed in their garden :)
Associated with a particular country?
[Raak] Yes!
Is that country in Europe?
[Superman] Yes!
British Isles?
Bernadette Soubirous?
[Bismarck] Yes!
[Raak] Not her.
Boudicca?
The Old Lady of Threadneedle Street?
[Raak] Not her either.
[Gusset Login] I like the way you think, but no.
 
The basics so far... Animal=Human (humans are found in myths, not extinct, etc.) Human=female with a name, not a religious figure. Overall a literary reference and connected with the British Isles.
Alice in Wonderland?
[Superman] Not her. Even through the looking glass.
Does this character have a pib named after her?
-pib+pub..
[Superman] Not that I know of (pibs or pubs). Without a list of all pub names worldwide it is hard to be certain. But a google search shows nothing, although I did find a pub in the UK with a very connected name.
From Arthurian legends?
Does the good lassie turn up in a play?
[Raak] No.
[Bismarck] If she does (and she has) it is not the original source, so don't be distracted by that.
Maid Marian?
[Raak] No.
Was the literary reference made after 1900?
[Bismarck] Not that recent, no.
Royalty?
[Raak] No.
Involved with the occult?
Scottish?
[Bismarck] No.
[Raak] Smattering of audience going 'oooh'   There is an aspect of the AOTC that would come under the broad sweep of the occult. However the fictional female in the AOTC was not involved with the occult.
Mother Shipton?
Though I have admit she might have been real.
[Superman] Not her.
Originating after 1600?
[Raak] It is my great pleasure to say "yes".
Shakespeare's Dark lady?
[Raak] Nor her.
 
Just to clarify and hint : when I said earlier "...but the animal part does appear in myths." I was referring to humans in general for the animal part (as people were trying to identify the animal at that point), not this particular literary fictional human female character.
One of the royalty?
The White Lady?
Would it help to define the geographical appurtenance of said female more closely?
[Superman] No to Royalty and not The White Lady but the latter gets the audience murmuring.
[Bismarck] I suspect it would help.
I'm game... Welsh lady?
[Bismarck] Best hide from those people with shotguns then... As for Wales, no.
it's the leg i was referring to, thanks for the sympathy. Ireland?
[Bismarck] Nor Ireland. That should narrow it down a bit :)
Wilkie Collins' Woman in White?
(arriving late here, I am just reacting to the recent murmur from the audience)
[gil] Nice try, but no.   Audience are looking more expectant now.
Irene Adler?
[Raak] To Sherlock Holmes she may be always the woman. But not this time.
Lack of inspiration leaves brute force... North of Manchester?
[Bismarck] Yes!
19th century?
[Raak] Yes! Yes!
from Dickens?
from the Bront?s?
Try ë for ë
[Raak] Not the Dickens.
[Superman] Shouting over the audience cheering   Yes! From the Brontës!
Oh great, never read any of them. Wikipedia suggests Jane Eyre as a possibility, is that it?
[Superman & Wikipedia] Not that possibility.
Bront?s, Brontë, Bront. Testing. Still no idea, though.
Is the AOTC a personage in 'Jane Eyre'?
[Superman] Not that book no.
Start to overheat with anticipation : someone opens a window.
Oh, go on then: Agnes Grey?
[Superman] Not her, or any other shade of grey.
Lucy Snowe?
C'mon Boolbar, we all want to know if gil has it!
[Superman] Busy weekend and...
[gil] No. [hint : wrong Brontë]
Nelly Dean?
[Superman] No but... Some audience applause and whooping
Isabella Linton?
[Superman] No. Still the wrong character. The audience fall silent. Only the sound of a branch tapping on the window can be heard.
 
Note that the AOTC does have an extra part than just the character's name : see murmur above.
Is there nobody out there that has ever read this stuff and can put us put of our misery?
Nobody wants to take the baton at this time of year. :)
I give up
Not a ghost of a chance of anyone getting this? While I wait I shall listen to some music.
Did I really start this game 14 years ago? (see wordy intro above)
To narrow down to 1, hopefully: is she already dead at the beginning of the novel?
It's one of 2 I had suspected... but I've had a go relatively recently
[Knobbly] At the beginning of the novel she is dead.
[Knobbly] Don't apologise, it's been me and Boolbar in here for the last how long, and Stockholm syndrome was beginning to set in.
Catherine Earnshaw?
Audience goes wild with excitement
[Knobbly] That'll do as I'm sure you muttered "The ghost of" just beforehand.  Plus I need a rest.  Have this baton made from a fir bough which oddly feels like a ice-cold hand...
Where did my post go?
Did I forget to click Stand again?
Anyway, as everyone drifts back from extended New Year breaks, this one is ANIMAL.
The dog ate it.
Is it a human?
Is it Arthur Pendragon?
Made of meat?
`
[Boolbar] Not human
[GL] Not -King Arthur
[Tuj] I'll say yes, but only on the basis that all animals are made of meat, so that's not particularly helpful.
Mammal?
Fictional?
A bird?
More than four legs?
[Gil] YES, mammalian ([Boolbar] and therefore not a bird)
[Rosie] Not fictional
[Bismark] No more than 4 legs.
A specific human?
A lolcat?
Larger than a 2 slice toaster?
Extinct?
[Raak] No specific human
[Bismarck] No can has cheezburger
[Chalky] YES bigger than a small toaster
[Superman] The species is not extinct.
bigger than a goat?
[gil] No bigger than a goat
Is it a member of the subfamily Caprinae?
A pet?
[Boolbar] Not Caprinae
[Rosie] YES, a pet.
Sounds doggish
Carnivorous?
Is it a Thing That Should Not Be?
[gil & Bismarck] YES, extremely doggish and indeed carnivorous
[Raak] I had to Popular Search Engine it, but no.
Irish Wolfhound?
[Superman] Not an Irish Wolfhound.
Winner of Best In Show at Crufts 2016?
Is it a specific dog?
[Chalky] Not BIS
[Boolbar] YES a specific dog.
Lassie?
[Bismarck] What's that, Lassie? No, not you.
Is this specific dog still alive?
Laika?
[Boolbar] Not still alive
[Raak] Not Laika.
Greyfriars Bobby?
Recap
So we are looking for a dead pet dog Knobbly once knew. Hmmmm.
[CdM] Not Greyfriars Bobby
[Bismarck] Choosing to interpret that as a question: No, I didn't know the dog personally.
Did or does the dog advertise something?
Did the dog appear on children's TV?
[Boolbar] YES, it is an advertising dog *Audience wakes up and begins to murmur excitedly*
[Raak] Not children's telly, no.
... the Andrex puppy?
The Dulux Old English Sheepdog?
[S & B] Neither of them.
Used in a logo?
[Boolbar] Logo, YES. *Murmuring increases - they were worried you'd been misled by the yes to adverts*
The HMV/RCA dog?
Jumping on the bandwagon
[Software] YES - The AOTC was actually its name (for an extra point?), but I'm minded to give you that.
Listen to this recording of me telling you you've won...
And the winner of the invisible AVMA game is... Can't read it, it's faded.
It is undoubtedly that much commented storm. His cable out to the islands has probably been cut and he is working feverishly to recover from the outage. With a wee bit of luck Stevie et al will sort out a piece of code and float it over in a bottle in order to help us all out. Of course that code will, of necessity, be in plain French.
Anyone going to be bold enough to start another?
Right, then. This is quite straightforward.

It's MINERAL. and nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.

Is this an element in the periodic table?
Is it an individual object?
Is it a human-made object?
Is it a rock?
Is it a plane?
(Bismarck) One of the elemnts? NO. *some muted giggles from the audience*
(Raak) An individual object? YES
(Boolbar) Human made? YES.
(Gusset Login) A rock? NO.
(Tuj) Aircraft, geometrical concept or carpentry tool? NONE of the above.
Was it human-made over 200 years ago?
Is it in the UK?
Is it a work of art?
Is it a monument?
Possibly misleading
It is an object but there are many of them. Loads of 'em, in fact.

If the questions had been phrased "Are they.....?" the answers would have been:
(Boolbar) YES, probably
(Superman) They're probably found in almost every country.
(Raak) Not a work of art.
(Bismarck) Not a monument.

[Rosie] It's an individual object, but they're found all over the place?
(Raak) It's an object, a thing, a whatsit, an oojamaflip. Individual in the sense of being different from other things. Not individual in the sense you meant though I suppose you could have a monogrammed one. Mea culpa.
A milestone?
A tool?
(Bismarck) A milestone? NO
(Raak) A tool? NO.
Are these items usually made of metal?
Is it mobile?
(Boolbar) Metallic? YES, but they don't have to be.
(Superman) Mobile? NO.
Can a person lift one of these?
(Raak) Can it be lifted? YES, very easily.
A marble?
(Raak) NO, not that easily.
A weapon of some sort?
An anchor?
(Boolbar) NO, not a weapon.
(Bismarck) An anchor? NO. Not terribly liftable.
Is this a household object?
Is this usually attached to, or part of, a building?
(Bismarck) Household object? YES
(Boolbar) Part of a building or attached thereto? YES.
A spoon?
A brick?
(Softers) NOT a spoon.
(Superman) NOT a brick.
A piece of door furniture?
Is it as big as a toaster?
(Raak) YES, though it stretches the imagination to call it furniture.
(Bismarck) Toaster-sized? NO.
Footrest?
Knockers!
(Software) Footrest? NO.
(Superman) Knockers? Where? Show me! NOT a percussive call-attention device..
A door-hinge?
(Raak) NOT a door-hinge but there is some association with the AOTC.
A jamb?
A door lock?
Knockers?
(Raak) Not a jamb.
(Bismarck) Not a door lock.
(Software) Knockers have been done, if you'll pardon the phrase. See Bismarck penult.
A gentle nudge: Not every house has one of these.
A cat flap?
A tradesmen's entrance?
Is this visible when the door is closed?
Letterbox?
(Raak,Boolbar, Software) None of those things but Superman has it. It's a cat-flap.

Over to you, Superman.

So this is a cat-flap?
Just let me sit here and meow plaintively for the next hour...
Ok, this one is ANIMAL. Let's hear your suggestions.
Is it human?
Is it food (for humans)?
We are off to a flyer!
[Boolbar] YES.
[Rosie] NO. Definitely not available for cannibalism.
A particular person?
Still alive?
First fence... going strong
[Software] YES, a particûlar character.
[Boolbar] Good question - the character is fictional, and as such never was alive, but nor has any death ever been mentioned.
A detective?
Was this fictional person created before the year 1900?
Second fence... jockeying for position
[Raak] NO, not their style.
[Boolbar] NO, more recent.
Female?
Early showing
[Raak] NO, definitely male.
A character created for a television show?
Does the character appear in only one work?
Tarzan?
Originally in a written work?
Third fence, a faller, leaders bunching
[Boolbar] NO, not for TV.
[Bismarck] NO, not an isolated incident.
[Software] NO-OOOO OOOO OOOO (sorry)
[Raak] YES, originally published on paper.
The principal character of the fiction?
Is this work the character appears in, a comic strip or graphic novel?
Fourth fence causes no problems to the leaders
[Raak] YES, this is the central character.
[Boolbar] YES, the character does appear in a comic strip or graphic novel.
A superhero?
Does the character appear in Viz?
At the fifth, over to Michael O'Hare
[Raak] Hero yes, superhero... On balance, NO. [Rosie] NO, not Viz.
Was a film made of this character?
A character from the Eagle comics?
That's going back a bit.
Loose horse, the field is split as they come to the sixth
[Bismarck] YES, a film was made with this character.
[Boolbar] NO, not from ye "Eagle".
Cow pie
Desperate Dan?
Did the character appear in a DC Comics publication?
Is the character a Marvel Comics creation?
At the sixth, a refusal, difficult landings but the race goes on
[Rosie] NO, not Dan.
[Bismarck] NO, not DC.
[Boolbar] NO, Marvel not.
Created by Neil Gaiman?
Dennis the Menace?
Did this character appear in a DC Thomson comic?
A character from 2000AD?
The water jump slows a few, but who is this coming up on the outside?
[Boolbar] NO, but good inspiration.
[Software] NO, though the character is certainly menacing.
[Bismarck] NO, no Beano, Dandy, Bunty etc.
[Raak] YES - Zarjaz! Won't be long now.
King Kong?
Judge Dredd?
Johnny Alpha?
Neck-and-neck finish!
[Software] NO, not the monkey.
[Gusset Login] NO, but it could have been the Dog.
[Raak] YES, it's everyone's favourite bobby on the beat in Mega-City One.

So Raak, you are the law! Please enter the winner's enclosure where Tharg will give you the keys to an enormous motorcycle: The rest of you into the weighing room where the Judges will execute a summary verdict.
The next is ANIMAL.
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
Is it human?
Is it fictional?
[S] Um... it is human, but not a human.
[B] Not fictional.
A nationality?
Not a nationality.
A profession?
A Band?
[B] Not a profession.
[GL] Not a band.
Does this human collective still exist today?
[B] (Q1) Not a human collective. (Q2) Exists today.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Is it a part of a human?
[B] Yes, a part of a human.
Is it a visible part of said human?
[B] It is visible (and not just to those who happen to know them rather well).
Is it still attached to the rest of the human?
[B] Still attached.
What Rak said.
Is it a sense organ?
Who nose?
Is it a hand?
Skin?
[R] Not a sense organ.
[B1] Not a hand.
[B2] Not skin.
Is it the hair on the head?
[B] applause It is the hair on the head.
A quiff?
[S] applause!! Having done a google search to determine what is and is not a quiff, I believe that this is not, strictly speaking, a quiff.
A duck's-arse haircut
Very fashionable when ah were a lad.
An Afro?
[R] Not, er, one of those.
[B] Not an afro.
Is it an individual person's hair?
[B] It is an individual person's hair.
This must be the hair of the Deal Leader whose initials are DT (and I don't mean Donald Tusk)
setting myself up for a big fall here :)
It is indeed Donald Trump's hair, and I have a really great baton for you, because our batons are the greatest in the world.
What a great baton I have got. Carefully ignoring all the previous administration may have done, I and only I have the answer you are all looking for. This will be done speedily, and is Vegetable.
Is it a tree or part of a tree?
Is it unique?
Commonly part of the human diet?
This is a great start, I am expecting to be able to choose my staff from among you boys and lady. Thanks for the questions, which are aligned to our solution and to which the following statement from Kellyanne, you know the one, will suffice:
[Boolbar] Yes, great question
[Tuj] Yes, of course, I don't do ordinary
[Rosie] Not unless you're North Korean, and my solution delegated to our great ambassador Mr McDonald will soon sort that out.
Is it a work of art?
Is it alive?
Is it a piece of furniture?
Amidst all the mess left by the previous incumbent and with no help at all from China during the eight days of our presidency, we are pursuing our way for greatness to become yours. Good thing! and in reply to these beauties, let me just say this:
[Raak] Bigly, no, and certainly not to my taste. Some more paint and gilt might rescue it. Sure, I could sell it to the Mexicans.
[Bismarck] I can deny that. Only Democrats could imagine it alive, though there is a resemblance in its aliveness to certain politicos I could mention. Wait for the revelations.
[Boolbar] Well, listen, I'm not biased, it's standing against a wall and I can put things on it, just like the Sec of State. But it doesn't speak or fall over, so it's either furniture or in line for a promotion.
A type of table?
Wait a moment while I hang up on some lady who thinks she's important. Ok. Yes, it is one of greatest types of table.
The desk in the Oval Office?
Delay caused by having to go out for a Chinese. The staff are whooping an' hollerin', that's not a bad guess, they think. So yes it has been but we need more clarification.
Presumably a specific OO desk? The "Resolute" desk?
King Arthur's Round Table?
Night, night.
Well now, that's mighty close. Not the Round Table, that's plain wrong. I sign all my presidential stuff on that Resolute desk, 'cos "resolute" is my middle name, like "you're fired." But while the staff are applauding you, Jared tells me you'll need the name of the desk given by a real industry dealer, not made out of some Limey boat.
The C&O desk?
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
Oh, cheers, and by the way it looks like your communications are tapped, there's an echo.
Here's one for the weekend: ABSTRACT, for a change.
An emotion?
Anything to do with politics?
[Gil] NO, not an emotion.
[Rosie] Whilst fairly universal, this should be associated less with politics than many other occupations.
A quality not associated with politics? Veracity?
[gil] NO, not truthfulness.
Is it a quality that is normally regarded as good?
Is self respect closely related to the AOTC?
[Dujon] NO.
Politics really isn't the way to go.
[Rosie] Neither good nor bad, but neutral.
Anything to do with numbers?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] YES, numbers are very frequently associated with the Answer.
[Tuj] NO, though a closely allied concept does. Maybe we can do it next time.
Solidity?
Is it a human invention?
[Sup] NO, not solidity. [Tuj] NO, not a human invention.
Is it a physical constant?
Gravity?
[Bo] There are several physical constants and at least one law that describe the AOTC, or attempt to fudge it, but no self-respecting physicist would admit that that AOTC as stated comes into it. They might use Tuj's P-word, though.
[Ro] NO, not gravity.
Chemistry?
The vagaries of the weather?
[Super] NO, not chemistry
[Rosie] Applause breaks out but dies away. NO, not the weather.
Murphy's law?
Is it... spooky?
Is it... sleazy?
[Superman] Scattered applause... M's law is often invoked, but on reflection it indicates the opposite of the AOTC.
[The Mighty Tuj] NO, unless you consider Forteana spooky
[Boolbar of Asgard] NO, even if you're lucky.
BTW it's none of the other five dwarves either.
The movements of the planets?
Something to do with quantum mechanics?
[Rosie] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, though more common as the P-word.
The structure of the atom?
Chaos theory?
[Ro] NO. Hint - more general concept than physics.
[Ra] NO, although the AOTC plays a role in it as well as in the film.
Is the P-word physics?
Philosophy?
[Dujon] NO. [Rosie] NO.
Probability?
[Boolbar the Not Improbable] Yay, that's the P-word, of which the AOTC is a synonym.
Statistics?
[Raak] NO, not stats.
Chance?
The winner of the lottery is...
ROSIE, it's your lucky day, you have selected the six winning letters in the correct order! Come down into the arena and take this baton, as well as your cheque for sixpence, redeemable at any branch of the Midland bank.
There with the C-word, as usual.

Now this one is

MINERAL and VEGETABLE and nothing whatsoever to do with steam locomotives.

Is it pea gravel?
Salted licorice?
A building?
Kew Gardens?
A grandfather clock?
NO, five times NO. Gusset Login is closest but still a long way off.
Is it something made by a human?
Stonehenge?
Does it still exist?
(Boolbar) Human-made? YES
(Software) Stonehenge? *Brief audience excitement*. NO
(Superman) Still in existence? YES, just about.
Was it deliberately made (rather than being the side-effect of having humans around)?
(Bismarck) Deliberately made? YES.
Is there only one?
Woodhenge?
Is it a path?
(Boolbar) YES, there is only one.
(Softers) NO, not Woodhenge.
(Superman) A path? NO, but some will regard it as such.
Is it in Europe?
The continent, obvs.
Did it have a defensive purpose?
Did it exist before 1 AD?
(Tuj) In Europe? YES
(Superman) Defensive purposes? YES, very largely.
(Bismarck) Before 1 AD? NO.
The Berlin Wall?
Is it in Wales?
Was it built by a bloke called Offa?
(Raak) Not the Berlin Wall.
(Boolbar) YES, most of it.
(Superman) Obviously not; he was a king FFS. For some reason or other his name is always associated with it.
I think we can say Superman has won, so well done you, aye. Take this baton, run with it and try not to fall into a ditch or make jokes about lesbians.
We go again. Here we go again...
Thank you, dear. Llwbr coeheddus and all that.

Without further ado, let me announce an
ANIMAL subject on the card. Listen carefully as the mystery voice reads out the clue.

Is it me?
Is it a human?
And as the game kicks off...
[Tuj] I honestly don't know. Let's get to the answer and find out, shall we?
[Boolbar] YES, and also NO.
A person also in fiction?
[Software] NO, not fictional.
*trying to think of something that both is, and is not, human* Is this a class of people?
Is it alive?
Is it a trade or profession?
Play is defensive...
[Bismarck] A clarification is needed. *clears throat*
Mystery Voice:The Yes was for "human", the No was for "a".
[Tuj] YES.
[Boolbar] NO, although one comes into it.
The human genome?
Yer, roight, but is it a class of people?
Anything to do with elections?
A foray tries to break the defensive line...
[Raak] NO, genetics doesn't come into it.
[Bismarck] YES. This will come back and bite me.
[Boolbar] NO, thank goodness, there has to be some respite somewhere.
Is it everyone who is going to win this game in the future?
[Boolbar] NO. Though I wish I had thought of it.
Are they found (or associated with) a single country?
Something to do with their names?
A physical characteristic?
Still early doors, tackles and possession going backwards and forwards
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
[Rosie] NO.
All good questions, though.
Do these people have a common interest? (e.g vole-polishing, trainspotting etc)
Politicians?
Have they all won or been awarded something?
Crossing the half-way line
[Rosie] YES, on the grounds they must have or they wouldn't be doing what they're doing.
[gil] NO. At least that was an easy one.
[Boolbar] NO, not yet, although traditionally being there involves winning something.
Anything to do with sport?
Rosie spots an opening and is off like a hare
[Rosie] *stands erupt in applause* YES.
Are these people spectators?
Drinks break
[Raak] No, this is happening on the pitch.
Does the AOTC mention a specific sport?
Is this a football team?
Something to do with cricket?
Play slows as referee's guide dog takes a leak
[Rosie] NO. Which surprised me when I looked it up.
[Bismarck] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Anyone for Tennis?
An aquatic sport?
An umpire?
NO to all of you.
A team?
A groundsman?
Stepovers and missed passes...
[Raak] "YES!!" shout the assembled multitudes.
[Rosie] NO, despite the valiant work of that undervalued person.
Are the team sitting down while competing?
An indoor sport?
The line-breaking attack fizzles out...
[Boolbar] NO, definitely not.
[Rosie] NO, this goes on out in the elements.
The line-breaking attack fizzles out...
[Boolbar] NO, definitely not.
[Rosie] NO, this goes on out in the elements.
A sport using a ball (or balls)?
Does this sport take place with large numbers of spectators?
They build patiently...
[Boolbar] YES, this is a ball game.
[Rosie] YES, it's quite popular.
Is rugby the name of the game?
Boolbar rises above the fray to claim the throw
[Boolbar] YES! A chorus of a rugby song breaks out.
So, it's a team, and it's rugby, could it be a rugby team?
Swing low, sweet chariot
[Raak] YES.
A specific rugby team?
Coming for to carry me home
[Raak]'Ot, innit... Since you didn't win the contest outright for saying "rugby team", it is logical that we are looking for a specific rugby team. Orrigh'?
The British Lions?
Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi...
[Rosie] The massed ranks break into male-voiced harmony. NO, but only because that's not their full name, which will spell trouble in the green community of it ever gets out. However, it's closer than I came to winning last time out, so you'd better catch this pass from the bottom of the ruck and power onwards, leaving kiwis scattered in your wake like Barry John reincarnated. The British and Irish Lions it is.
Gwyddwn i ddim dy fod Cymro.
Actually I find Rugby absurd and incomprehensible but we had to play it in school.
Never mind all that, the next one is

ANIMAL
Rats?
Shouldn't that be Prats?
(Tuj, Dujon) Not the intention of the AOTC, but could be.
A beast of myth and fable?
Human?
(Bismarck) Mythical beast? NO.
(Boolbar) Human? Yes.
Does politics come into this?
Alive?
One human?
(Superman) NO politics in this.
(Tuj) Alive? YES.
(Boolbar) One human? Could be, but rather unlikely.
Has this anything to do with a game?
(Bismarck) - NO, nothing to do with a game.
Anything to do with railways?
A family?
(Boolbar) Surprisingly, NO
(Superman) A distinct possibility, but not a requirement. *some audience animation*
Something to do with food?
The staff in a business?
(Boolbar) NO, nothing to do with food.
(Superman) NO, not the staff in a business.
Does this group of people share a common goal?
Does this group of people share a common country?
(Bismarck) YES, but a rather undefinable one.
(Boolbar) Share a common country? YES.
Has this group of people been around for a long time?
A group of musicians?
From the answer to Bismark's question
The Tory Party?
(Bismarck) In some form or other, YES
(Boolbar) Musos? Essentially NO, though the AOTC does not exclude the possibility.
(Software) The Tories? NO.
Is this a mixed group, or unisex?
(Bismarck) Could be unisex, but unlikely.
Does this group gather in one place from time to time?
(Boolbar) A very strange way to describe it but strictly speaking YES.
The Mafia?
Is the common country the UK?
(Superman) The Mafia? NO
(Bismarck)UK? Need not be but all members of the group have a common country.
This sounds so much like the entrants for the Eurovision or the ruling party in a country or the footie team that it's annoying me that that has all been ruled out. It seems that a national interest group with no link to politics, sport or music is required. Even family connections are tenuous. The heads of the Commonwealth?
(Superman) NOT those worthies. Try not to explode. The AOTC is an instantly recognisable entity but has few if any definite characteristics except one which is of course the AOTC itself.
Do these people observe something?
(Boolbar) Observers? NO.
Mornington Crescenters?
(gil) NO, not us lot
An orchestra?
(Bismarck) An orchestra? NO
Has this anything to do with an astronomical event?
Could this be the Merthyr Tydfil travelling supporter/s?
Shareholders at an AGM?
(Boolbar) Anything to do with an astronomical event? NO, not a thing.
(Superman) NOT those intrepid worthies, nor those of Cefn Druids, Stenhousemuir or Warlingham and Whyteleafe Rovers.
(Bismarcke) Shareholders at an AGM? NO.
Do the people in this group change from day to day?
(Boolbar) NO, not from day to day.
Does alcohol come into this at all?
Shopping?
Can you become a member of this group by being born?
(Superman) Booze? - NO
(Bismark) Shopping? - NO.
(Boolbar) A member of the group simply by being born? YES. *audience senses some insight into this utterly banal subject*
Queuing?
(Bismarcke) NO, not queueing.
The population of planet Earth?
(Raak) NO, not that extensive.
Something to do with royalty?
(Boolbar) Royalty? Could be theoretically, but extremely unlikely.
All people who share your birthday?
(Superman) Wot? Peter Cook, Jonafan Woss? NO, but you're moving towards the essential banality of the AOTC.
Hidden text17/11/42 if you must know :-)
Could this be found in Pittsburgh, PA, USA?
(drquuxum) In Pittsburg, Pa., USA? YES, it certainly could.
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