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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Politician?
[Chalky] In Politics? - Yes
Jeremy Corbyn?
[Software] The Jez Meister? - No
Male?
[Phil] Male? - Yes
Any legal connections?
[Rosie] Legal connections? - Well, he is in politics. So, of course, there are connections to the law.
Tory?
[Software] A blue-ribboner? - Yes
A Cabinet member?
Minister of Cockney Rhyming Slang - Jeremy Hunt?
[Rosie] Cabinet member? - Yes
[Software] Total Hunt? - No
George Osborne?
As he insists on calling himself.
[Rosie] George "Dramatic Pose" Osborne? - No
IDS?
[Software] Irritable Duncan Syndrome? - No
Michael Gove?
(the MP that keeps on goving)
Sajid Javid?
working through ...
[Phil] Govey? - No
[Software] Javid? - No
Hint: Don't work through, work up.
Not Dave? (Cameron)
[Rosie] Not Dave? - No it's not Not Dave. It is Dave. I don't whether that should count as a yes or a no.
David Mundell?
A fush oo' a wa'er.
Getting a little impatient.
I have internets again! Sorry for the silence.

[Rosie] David Mundell - No, as I said, it's the Dave you guessed it wasn't.
David Cameron?
Software DC? - Yes
Well I am blowed, who'd have thought, so obvious really Eton and all that. Now let me think .....

Ah, yes!

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.

Animals human?
i.e. Not Millwall
[Rosie] people? - YES.
To do with politics?
[Raak] political? probably the right answer is NO
Is the mineral connection water?
Is the vegetable connection wood?
[Rosie] water? - NO * much chuckling in the audience *
[Phil] wood? - NO - well,not directly but it may figure somewhere, not sure that this is actually helpful
To do with mineral resources?
Does it begin with P?
[Raak] ores? - NO
[Tuj] P? - YES one of the three words on the card does. (including the definite article)
Is a liquid involved?
A desert?
[Phil] Liquid? - YES. * chuckling in audience *
[Rosie] Desert? - NO
The Pacific Ocean?
Is it fit for human consumption?
Is the liquid an organic compound?
[GL] Pacific? - NO
[Phil] Drinkable? - YES
[Rosie] Organic? - YES
The petroleum industry?
Is alcohol involved?
[Rosie] Gas? - NO is probably the correct answer but I suppose it could be.
[Phil] Booze? YES * spattering of claps from the audience *
A type of beer?
[Phil] A variety of the brewing process? - NO but certainly involved in the ATOC
A bottle of champagne?
[Rosie] Bubbly? - NO but could certainly be involved in the ATOC
Is the AOTC associated with a particular place?
[Tuj] Localle? - NO

* HINT: the ATOC has 3 words including the definite article *

Is the word that starts with P pub?
[Knobbly] P = Pub? - NO * a smattering of clapping from the audience *
Is the 'p' word = Punch?
[Chalky (welcome back)] P = Punch? - NO * more clapping in the audience *
A type of wine?
[Phil] Cru? - NO * a little more clapping in the audience *

Reprise:
ATOC 3 words including the definite article;
One begins with 'P';
Alcohol of some sort involved.

Does the word "party" appear on the card?
Is it seasonal?
[CdM] Party - YES! * Audience goes wild with applause *
[GL] Seasonal - YES! * Audience now agog with expectation *
The Easter Party?
[GL] Easter? (* wonders why Easter? *) - NO * clapping from audience *
The Christmas Party?
[Phil] Xmas? - NO * audience wild with anticipation! *
The Summer Party?
Keep going, we'll find the right season soon.
[GL] Summer? you seem to have a penchant for the warmer weather - * audience wild with anticipation *
The Dinner Party?
[Phil] Dinner? - NO * audience still on the edge of their seats *
The Hogmanay Party?
[GL] Jock do? - NO * audience cannot believe that nobody has got it yet! *

HINT: There are lots this time of year

I shall be on the plane to the USA in the morning so may not get back online for a day or two.
The Hanukkah Party?
Christmas party has already gone and I'm struggling to think of any other sort that happens at this time of year.
The Office Party?
Ding!
Phil has it. * Hands over the photocopied bum to Phil *
When I was self-employed, the office party was a disaster. I got off with myself and didn't speak to myself for the whole of January. I tried to phone in sick the next morning, but it was engaged every time.

So, onwards and outwards. Your next challenge is

Animal

Human?
Alive?
Male?
Apols for delay
[Software] Human? NO
[GL] Alive? NO
[Rosie] Male? YES
Dead While Male?
Sorry, that was meant to be "Dead White Male?"
Lassie?
[Raak] Are you saying that white people aren't human?
[Raak] Dead White Male? YNY (taking white strictly as a colour rather than race, as humans are not involved)
[GL] Lassie? NO
Fictional?
A specific individual?
Oops, missed that the answer to human was no.
[Rosie] Fictional? NO
[Raak] An individual? YES
a dead male dog?
[Chalky] Dead male dog? NO
Mao Tse Tung?
Died since the start of the 20th century?
The lion shot by that American dentist?
Died in 2015?
Does it begin with P?
HNY!
[Software] Mao Tse Tung? NO, I think he was human wasn't he?
[Raak] died post 1899? NO
[Rosie] Cecil the dentally-deceased Lion? NO
[GL] died in 2015? NO (see also two lines above)
[TUJ] P-something? NO, but HNY to you too :)
Bucephalus?
The only named pre-XX animal that comes to mind.
[Raak] Bucephalus? NO, not that long ago
The last dodo?
[Tuj] Last dodo? NO
a dead male sea creature?
Post AD 1?
[Chalky] DM sea creature? NO
[Software] Post AD 1? YES
Was it a bear?
Was it a bird?
[Raak] Bear? NO
[Chalky] Bird? NO
[Anyone who cares] It wasn't Superman either :-)
Was it a mammal?
Phil
[Chalky wc] A Mammal? YES

To summarise: A specific non-fictional individual male mammal that died between 1 AD and 1899 AD. It's not a human, a dog, a bird, a bear or a sea creature, and doesn't begin with P.

Did it spend any part of its life in the UK (including territorial waters)?
Was it a horse?
[Raak] UK-resident at some point? YES *some applause*
[Tuj] A horse? NO
Did it live in a zoo?
[Knobbly] Zoo-resident? YES, but not exclusively *more applause*
Trim - the cat who sort of discovered Australia?
Primate?
[Chalky] Trim the cat? NO
[Software] Primate? NO
A domesticated zebra?
Was it killed by a human?
[Raak] Zebra? NO
[Rosie] Killed by a human? YES (or human action, at least)
Wild animal?
[Software] Wild? Originally, YES.
Was it larger than a standard sized Fridge-Freezer?
Was it the last individual of its species?
[Chalky] bigger than a fridge freezer? YES *much applause*
[Knobbly] last of its kind? NO
Ooh, was it an elephant?
Killed by a train?
[Tuj] An elephant? YES *much applause*
[GL] Killed by a train? YES *even more applause
Then it must be Jumbo?
[Chalky] Jumbo the Elephant? YES

One of my favourite animals, simply because the word "jumbo" didn't exist prior to his naming. cf. Little Tich

Here, Chalky, take this pre-1947 ivory baton.

Ooh thanks Phil. Nice one and kudos to Tuj and GL for paving the way.
The next one is ABSTRACT with significant ANIMAL connections
Is it an emotion?
Aha! So there *is* life out there ..
[Rosie] An emotion? NO
Begins with P?
A human concept?
A fictional person?
Art?
[Tuj] Begins with a P? NO ... but ripple of applause can be detected
[Software] A human concept? YES
[GL] A fictional person? YES
[Dujon] Art? What is Art?
Character in a novel?
[Software] Character in a novel? YES *audience erupts into cheers*
Tarzan?
[Software] Tarzan? NO
Kim?
Is the animal connection a dog?
[Software] Kim? NO
[Raak] Animal connection a dog? NO
Does the character have a figurative meaning? e.g. Scrooge
[Rosie] Figurative meaning? NO
Does it originate in the British Isles?
Human?
[penelope] Originate in British Isles ? YES
[GL] Human? YES
Was the novel written after 1900?
Does the novel title begin with P?
[Rosie] After 1900? YES
[CdM] P word in title? YES
*audience senses a finish and cheers accordingly*
Is anyone willing to guess the obvious, thereby putting themself in the chair for the next puzzler?
Sure. What is it?
Is the character male?
Ronny Heaslop
That's got to be right. Because, seriously, how many non-figurative characters in post-1900 British novels with a word in the title that begins with P can there be?
... giving it all away
[GL] It's a girl
[Tuj] Male? NO
[CdM] Ronnie Heaslop? NO. And the play/novel has two P words.
... and it's linked to Phil's previous solution.
[Chalky] Oh, that's just darling.
Remind me never to play this game again ...
Aw, Chalks, don't be upset.
Frankly this one has stumped me.
Peter Pan?
(Chalky) Memo: Never play this game again.
[Chalky] I hope that comment made sense! If my guess is wrong, it probably just seemed weird (or worse, obnoxious).
with a woo and a hoo
A WINNER AT LAST! Wendy from Peter Pan it is!
Well played Rosie and CdM :)
Here - argue over this wand-shaped baton I nicked from Tinkerbell.
(Chalky) You beast.

And the next object is ABSTRACT

An Emotion?
Is there but a single word on the card?
[Chalky] I think when you said it was obvious, we all backed off presuming it must be obvious to somebody, somebody else...
(GL) Not an emotion.
(Tuj) A single word plus the indefinite article.
A silent P, obviously
Does the indefinite article begin with P?
(CdM) Of course - 's a particle innit.
Is it a human invention?
An expression?
Well done you old bu**er
(Tuj) NO, not a human invention.
(Softers) Essentially NO, but can be used figuratively, just about.
A ghost?
(Software) Not a ghost.
Is it visible?
There's not much to go on so far...
Is it fictional?
(Knobbly) Not visible, though its effects may well be.
(Raak) Not fictional.

I should add, perhaps, that the AOTC has a kind of material connection and that this would normally be thought of as Mineral.

A type of air movement?
(Dujon) Air movement? NO, but it could be said there's a connection, stretching a point.
An unfortunate brush?
(Software) NO, not an unfortunate brush.
Any political connection?
(Software) NO political connection whatever.
Has it always existed as an idea?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
(Tuj) I would say YES.
(Chalky) Could be. Could be any size. Its dimensions in its physical manifestation are irrelevant.
An emotion?
(Software) NO, not an emotion
OK, is it audible?
At last a customer
(Knobbly) Audible? NO, most definitely not.
Iron will?
(Softers) Ferrous (or ferric) determination? NO. It's not a human quality.
An ill wind?
Oh, dear. I am struggling with this.
(Softers) NO, by definition impossible.
Rock solid?
Any chance of a clue?
(Software) Rock solid? NO, for the same reason as before. This is not difficult; in fact there's nothing to it, really.
A vacuum?
(Raak) YES! A total absence of material entities. Now give us something easy FFS.
Vegetable and Mineral, with Abstract connections
Vegetable wood?
Yes, the vegetable is wood.
Is this some kind of machine or device?
Abstract religious?
[Rosie] Not really a machine or device.
[Dujon] Not religious.
Unique?
Is the AOTC the title of some work?
Not the title of a work.
Is the mineral metal?
Yes, the mineral is metal.
Unique?
Not unique.
Does it begin with P?
Does not begin with a P.
Found in the house?
Not typically. That is, the typical house would not contain any of these, and the typical one of these would not be in a house.
Would I be in danger of cutting myself on it?
You cannot cut yourself on one.
Mass produced?
Um...there are rather a lot of these, but I can't find any information about whether they are made on an automated production line.
Used in a sport or game?
Not used in a sport or game.
Do they tend to be found in particular areas of the world?
A fixture?
Not in particular areas of the world.
Not a fixture.
A garden shed?
Not a garden shed. I'd expect those to be fixtures, although I suppose you could put wheels on one and tow it on holiday with you.
Can these things be lifted by one man?
Yes, one man can lift one of these.
That is, any reasonably fit man, not one particular Schwarzenegger.
A barrel?
*cheering* Yes, a barrel. But can you be more specific? Bear in mind the abstract connection.
A Barrel of laughs?
Not a barrel of laughs.
A beer barrel
Specifically, real ale :)
Not necessarily a beer barrel.
A firkin?
Not a firkin.
A biscuit barrel?
Not a biscuit barrel.
Hint: It's not about what's in it ? quite the opposite!
The "?" was supposed to be a "?".
Er, not quite. It was supposed to be a "—". Let's see if that gets through.
Scraping the bottom of the barrel?
Scraping etc.? No, but that's more in the right direction.
The first word is the indefinite article.
A barrel organ?
Perhaps penelope could rustle a Dutch one up.
Not a barrel organ.
Do we have a stuck fermentation of ideas? A sort of barrel, that features in a figurative expression or saying.
A sort of barrel that has fish in it that can be easily shot
OK, that's probably not right.
There's a surprisingly lage number of figurative expressions involving barrels. Fish, for the shooting of, is not the one.
"lage": a synonym for "several", used of a severality that due to attentional bias one experiences as surprisingly larger than 1.
A barrel of laughs?
Not a barrel of laughs. Hint: nor a barrel of anything else!
An empty barrel?
YES! *the crowd's applause is drowned out by a tap on the side of one*
Oh, dear. Being a smartar*e I am now lumbered with the spile-shaped batton.
Let me think. Ah, yes! abstract with strong animal, vegetable and mineral connections.
The sound made by a tree falling in the forest when no-one is present to hear it?
[Raak] NO - abstract but not metaphysical
A fictional animal?
An organisation?
A stock phrase or saying?
[GL] Fictional? - NO
[Rosie] Organization? - YES
[Raak] Phrase or Saying? - NO
Created after 1900?
A governmental organisation?
Based in Europe?
Sorry for delay, have been away.
[Rosie] After 1900? - YES
[Raak] Big Brother? - NO
[GL] European? - YES
A scientific organisation?
[Raak] Scientific? - NO * audience chuckles *
A cult?
An NGO?
[Raak] cult? - NO * some guffawing in the audience * (well, some might say it is)
[Bismarck] NGO? - Mmmm. Tricky, probably NO
The National Trust?
Is it classed as a charity /not-for-profit?
A religion?
[Rosie] NT? - NO
[Bismarck] Charitable? - NO * more audience chuckling *
[Phil] Godbothering? - NO * further tittering *
Do they sponsor a football team?
Does it have its own URL?
The Mafia?
[Bismarck] Sponsorship? - NO
[Raak] URL? Why, YES
[Rosie] Those nice Sicilian gentlemen? - NO
An organised religion, then?
I'm taking a clue from the audience here...
Recapitulons, mes amis...
Post-1900 European company, with pretensions among supporters to be quasi-religious and quasi-scientific, yet not an NGO and not important enough to sponsor the footie. Neither the Mafia, nor their cousins the NT. Links to animal, vegetable and mineral. Hmmmm.
Are they able to ban people from the exercise of their professions?
[Knobbly] Godbothering with form? - NO * Phil ruled that out *
[Bismarck] - Big Stick? - NO
Does it begin with P?
...just to show gratitude for Bismarck's efforts by making a considered contribution ;)
The East India Company?
Do ships enter into this at all?
Eton?
[Tuj] P-ish? - NO (not one to be seen in the AOTC)
[Raak] Bubble? - NO (the right number of words, though)
[Bismarck] - Harbourish? - NO
[Rosie] The origin of our present governing classes? - NO
Is this a real-life organisation, or one that exists only on a screen?
[Bismarck] Real or imagery? - er, YES. * sporadic clapping from audience *
Logical NOR should have been used in previous question. Ahem. Is this an imaginary company?
[Bismarck] Virtual? - NO

Hint: The AOTC has 4 words one being the definite article it exists on screen.

The League of Gentlemen?
Never watched it; only vaguely even heard of it; but it popped into my head after reading over the game so I thought I'd go for an audacious lurker's victory.
[CdM] LOG? - NO
The Great Western Railway?
Is the third word "of"?
[Rosie] God's Wonderful Railway? - sadly, NO
[Raak] of-ly? NO

* audience shuffling *

Is this organisation viewed favourably by the British population?
[Rosie] Favourable to the Brits - mmmm, NO (not lately, anyway)
The European Court of Justice?
[Rosie] ECoJ? - NO * sporadic clapping from audience *
The Arsenal?
[Bimarck] The Gunners? - NO. * audience getting restless *
A political party?
Ah... do I hear a few bars of the prelude to Charpentier's Te Deum?
The European Court of Human Rights?
Well, it IS down the road from me...
[Bismarck] Party? - NO
[nights] ECHR? - NO * a few random claps from the audience *
Was my guess a bit too subtle? Is it the European Broadcasting Union?
[Knobbly] EBU? - NO * audience wakes up with enthusiastic clapping *
Is this a European attempt to celebrate the diversity of culture?
[Bismarck] multicultural? - YES! * audience getting excited *
Musical culture?
[Bismarck] music? - YES! * audience wild with anticipation *
The Eurovision Song Contest?
[Rosie] Tat for the masses? - YES!!!! at last.

Hands over the tacky microphone-shaped baton to Rosie

I could object that the Eurovision Song Contest is not an organisation (whereas the EBU is which is why I went for that), but I wouldn't want to be accused of taking this too seriously.
I also don't want the baton at the moment.
As you were...
Blast! beaten to it. Rosie, congratulations. May your all dihydrogen oxide be changed to dihydrogen dioxide for twenty milliseconds.
Peroxide blonde
(Bismarck) Now you see it, now you don't.
And the next object is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Human animal?
(Softers) Human? Humans are involved but essentially NO.
Is it green?
Does it begin with P?
Does it make a noise?
Can I live without it?
Sorry for the delay
(Bismarck) NO, not green.
(Tuj) P? Not in any language I can think of.
(Knobbly) A noise? YES, it must have done.
(Boolbar) Essential for life? NO.
The Llangollen Amateur Vivisectionists' Society! It just came to me in a flash.
(Bismarck) Dee-scission? I'm afraid not.
Fictional?
Fictional?
Oops.
Fictional?
The Big Bang?
Going for an early attempt...
Is it a human invention?
(Raak + Gusset Login) NO, not fictional.
(Knobbly) NO, not the Big Bang.
(Tuj) YES, human, but I wouldn't call it an invention.
A philosophical concept?
(Raak) NO, not philosophical, not a concept.
Does it still exist?
(Bismarck) Still exist? NO.
Associated with a particular geographical locale?
Also, could you clarify an earlier answer? When Boolbar asked "Can I live without it?", was your answer of "NO" directed to that question or your contrarily-rephrased "Essential for life?"?
(Tuj) Point taken. The rephrasing had got a bit out of hand. The answer to "Can I live without it?" is YES. As for your actual question, the answer is YES, followed by *audience animation*.
Todo with the planet taken as a whole?
Animal bit-were they raised for food?
(Raak) NO, not to do with the whole planet.
(Bismarck) For food? YES.
May not be able to have another guess for a while, so I'll try bovine spongiform encephalitis.
Did it exist for a specific period of time?
[Rosie] An animated audience, eh? At least no people were harmed in the making of assistance-giving reactions =)
(Bismarck) Mad cow? Now who am I thinking of? I'm afraid the answer is NO.
(Tuj) YES. *even more audience animation*
Powdered egg?
Some sort of public event?
(Softers) Powdered egg? Good stuff - it wasn't even on the ration IIRC. But NOT the answer.
(Raak) A public event? Certainly not intended as such though most of the public would be aware of it.
Cheese rolling?
Cheese rolling? Er, NO.
Did it happen in the UK?
(Bismarck) In the UK? Essentially NO, though I suspect some elements of it did.
A global event?
(Softers) NO, not global
was the specific geographic locale in Europe?
(Bismarck) In Europe? Well, YES, sort of.
Confusticated... has a 'specific' locale (++audience animation) 'sort of' in the European continent and 'sort of not' in the UK. Ireland?
Deconfustificationment
(Bismarck) Specific locale, YES. European continent? NO, but a strict geographer may disagree. Ireland? NO. If I say much more I may as well tell you the answer.
a political event?
Thanks, Rosie. Let's try for the timing - did this happen within your living memory?
(Raak) Political? YES.
(Bismarck) Within my living memory? YES.
an event relating to the EU?
(Raak) NO, not related to the EU.
Did it happen in the previous century?
Suez crisis?
in 1989?
(Bismarck) 20th century? YES.
(Software) NO, not the Suez crisis.
(Raak) In 1989? NO.
1970's?
(Bismarck) 1970's? Partly, YES.
Were fish involved?
(Bismarck) Fish? YES, they were indeed.
Did Iceland win at least 3-0?
(Bismarck) YES. That, I recall, was the score.
"The Phantom Menace", the cut that left the fish-slapping dance scene in?
Stop taking the piss
(Bismarck) NO, it wasn't that one.
The library, you say?
all right, all right... it's the Cod Wars.
It is, of course, the COD WARS. Well done. Take this giant baton-shaped fish finger and proceed to the next object.
Well, nothing for it now (gulp)...
The next object is MINERAL with a side order of location, as there may be multiple instances.
man-made?
[Raak] YES.
Metal?
[Raak] NO, not so as you'd notice
Does it begin with P?
fffrrttt
Mainly stone?
[Tuj] NO, not in any language I am aware of oblig.
[Raak] YES
On Earth?
[Raak] Terrestrial? YES.
Habitable?
[Tuj] NO.
underground?
In Europe?
[Raak] buried? NO
[Tuj] EU-ish? YES
Arc de Triomphe?
[Software] Etoile? NO.
Is it in an urban area?
[Rosie] Downtown? YES.
A statue?
A tourist attraction?
[Rosie] YES
[Raak] YES
Oh and in general their is the odd approving noise from the audience
Nelson's Column?
[Raak] YES - audience cheering but then subsiding as that's the main dish, but the "side order" needs to be found too.
The actual statue of Nelson?
[Raak] Trafalgar Square? NO, that would be too easy... Some applause from the right wing of the audience.
The Fourth Plinth?
^[Software] NO.
The Trafalgar Square lions?
[Knobbly] Felines? NO.
Hint - Nelson was quite well regarded in many placed.
In Menorca?
Is it in London?
[Software] Balearics? NO.
[Raak] City? NO.
So, the AOTC isn't in London, but the audience cheered Nelson's column...
Is it in Scotland?
[Boolbar] North o' the border? NO. A few claps from the audience, though.
Geordieland?
[Software] Tyne? NO
Ireland?
[Gusset] YES. Audience sensation, as they say.
Then it is surely Nelson's Pillar.
Audience goes wild for [Raak] Nelson's pillar is correct! Well done sir. Please take this green pillar-shaped baton and proceed with the next round.
Remind me never to run a relay with Raak, won't you :-)
Oh, ah. Um. The next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Snoopy's friend Woodstock?
Not Woodstock.
A wildlife programme?
Does it begin with P?
[Rosie] Not a wildlife programme.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P. (slight oohing sounds from audience)
Is the animal non-human?
(Some laughter) Not non-human.
Is the non-non-human not male?
Is the non-non-human principally famous for literary appearances?
[B] Might or might not be male.
[G] Not literary appearances, no.
Does the Abstract refer to the title or role of the non-non-human of indeterminate sex?
Be there a sporting connection?
[R] (polite applause) Yes, the Abstract has to do with the title or role (but there is more to the Abstractness than that).
[T] No sporting connection.
Was this known of in the year 1900?
Was this known of in the year 1900? One could take different interpretations, about which I can imagine philosophers of language debating endlessly. I shall interpret the words on the card as implying the answer: Yes.
Would you expect to find this mentioned in a book of World Records?
[Tuj] Would not be mentioned in a book of World Records.
Is/Was the person an inventor?
An inventor? Unlikely, I think.
Is the Animal one specific example of its kind?
[Bismarck] Not a specific example of its kind.
Is this an unknown person?
[Dujon] Yes, an unknown person. Although not totally.
Something like The Bogeyman?
[Rosie] (laughter!) Many would say there's a strong possibility of this thing being very like The Bogeyman.
In the UK, is there only one of this?
[Rosie] In the UK, there is none of this.
The yeti?
[Software] Not the yeti.
Is this anything to do with politics?
[Rosie] (applause!) It is to do with politics.
To do with the EU?
[Rosie] Not the EU.
The leader of the first communal state?
[Dujon] Not sure what a communal state is, but no.
Is this an American thing?
(Applause!) It is an American thing.
Are eagles involved?
No eagles are involved.
Is it currently in the news?
Yes, it is currently in the news.
The Republican Party campaign for the Presidency?
A lame duck, as in "Obama is a lame duck president?"
[Rosie] (more applause!) Very close, but not the answer.
[Bismarck] Absolutely not a lame duck.
The American Presidential race?
[Bismarck] (the audience enthusiastically cheer on the runners) You are getting closer, but that is not yet the answer.
Hillary Clinton's campaign to become President?
[Rosie] (more cheering) Not Hillary Clinton's campaign either.
The US election?
[Software] (still cheering, you're thinking on the right lines) Not the US election.
You only have a few days to get this.
I'm off on holiday to Switzerland this Wednesday.
Do any dead people come into this?
[Bismarck] Dead people cannot come into this.
Going once...
The Canadian election?
Televised debates?
Not the Canadian election, or televised debates.
Hint: In a sense, this thing does not exist, but it is not fictional. For a period of time it does exist, and afterwards it again doesn't exist.
Going twice...
The thing does not exist right now, but it will in the near future, for a while.
Election promises?
Not election promises, but getting closer. It definitely has something to do with an election.
The guillotine will fall before midnight today.
The wall between the US and Mexico, as suggested by one of the candidates?
I've no time to take over... but I suspect the words "elect" and "president" might be needed.
[B] Not the wall.
[A] One of those words is on the card!
Another hint
The word "next" is also on the card.
And the winner is...
The first person to say "The next president of the United States."
Is it me?
Assuming Raak is now away, I presume to draw a line
Does that make it my go? Bugger... I mean goldarn it
OK, this is mineral. Play on!
Metallic?
Oily?
In a state that was fashioned by humans?
Is there only one?
[S] Not metal. (There may be some metallic atoms knocking around for aught I know or care.)
[R] Not oleaginous.
[Bi] Man-made, yes.
[Bo] There is only one of the AOTC, although there are other similar... things.
Stone?
Mount Rushmore?
Stone Henge?
Is it in the USA?
[R] Yes, stone. Almost entirely I should think.
[B] (A solitary applau is hurriedly shushed) No, not Mt Rushmore
[GL] It is not a henge of stone
[B] Not in 'Murica (U S of)
Is it a mountain?
Cleopatra's needle?
Is it a statue?
Does it begin with P?
[D] Hmm... Well, it wasn't when I thought of it, but actually a mountain is called this too.
[S] It is no part of Cleopatra's sewing kit
[B] Not a statue
[T] It literally doesn't begin with P
Does it exist today?
Is it in Africa?
[Bi] Still there, yes, but not in Africa.
Petra?
The parthenon?
Is it a monument?
Is it a castle?
Is it inside a building?
[GL & S] Not Petra, the Parthenon or anywhere else beginning with P.
[R] It is a monument in the sense of 'site of historical importance', but not in the sense of 'structure erected to commemorate an event or person'.
[Bi] Not a castle by any sensible definition.
[Boo] Not found in a buiding.
Is it in England?
Is it in Scotland?
[Bi] Not in jolly old England.
[Boo] Not in bonny Scotland.
In Europe?
[R] Not in Europe neither. Where's left that isn't Europe, Africa or the USA?
Is it in Australasia?
It might be South America. is it?
Is it in Canada?
Is it on the Moon?
Was it man-made within the last 1000 years?
[Bi] It sure is in South America..
[GL & R] See above.
[Bo] Last 1,000 years, yes.
Is it in Brazil?
Macchu Picchu?
[Bo] Not Brazil.
[Bi] Indeed yes, therefore *Wild applause for Bismarck*
I'd better get back on the campaign trail...
Oh. Oh! And I thought that had no chance because of the 'P' in Picchu, as perennially suggested by Tuj. But I shall humbly take it upon myself to climb down this peak and devise another riddle. But first, this line:

Right, time for something Animal

Human?
Does it have two eyes?
[R] Not human
[B] Indeed they all do
Four legs?
Do these animals live on land?
Hamsters?
...no P...
Native to the UK?
Taste nice?
[So] Yes.
[Bo] Yes.
[Tu] No.
[Ra] Yes.
[Ro] I have only eaten one of this type of animal and it was nice.
Horses?
[GuLo] That gets an outbreak of clapping, with the odd whoop, holler, and whinny. However, it's not right.
Hedgehogs?
[Bo] No, we are spineless today.
Fillet of unborn horse, simmered in its own amniotic fluid?
Are these animals mammalian?
Hare?
[Ra] Ergh... No.
[Bo] Yes, they are.
[So] No.
Pig?
[Bo] Pigs are not part of this family.
Are we talking bovine here?
[Bo] No, there are no cows in this field.
Rabbit?
Goat?
[Ro] Rabbits are no part of this breed.
[Bo] Caprids, likewise, are not typical.
Deer?
[So] Deer, no. Please stop the ruminating.
Are these beasts regarded as pests?
Are these animals ungulates?
[Ro] I don't believe that even hunters could maintain they were pests.
[Bo] Yes, they all take their ungulation seriously.
Camels?
A Shetland pony?
[Ra] The Camelidae are out of reckoning. Audience, though, is getting the hump.
[Ro] Well, that gets a clap, but [Gusset Login] got there firster and better.
Do they still exist?
[Ra] They certainly exist today.
A beast of burden?
Is it a crossbreed?
[Ro] The horses certainly are, but I don't think anyone has ever tried the others.
[Bo] No miscegenation involved.
Equids generally?
[Ra] Gusset guessed that already. Still it gets a round vigorous if impatient applause and subdued cries of "Get on with it!" and "Can someone find us a zoologist?"
Odd-toed ungulates, a.k.a. Perissodactyla?
We have a winner!
And the zoologist appears, and with sage wisdom provides the answer. Therefore *Wild applause for Raak!*
For you sir, take your choice of baton engraved with a rhino, tapir, zebra, or what might be a horse, and follow the blue lights over there for the interview.
(I was waiting for [Tuj] to ask the p-question...)
The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
Is it that boulder that Sisyphus has to push up a hill?
Is it decorative?
[B1] Nice idea,but not Sisyphus? boulder.
[B2] Not decorative.
Is the mineral in liquid form?
[Boolbar] Not liquid.
Is it the name of a mineral?
Does it begin with P?
Whoops, am I late? Sorry Bism =)
Stone?
[Bismarck] Not the name of a mineral.
[Zarquon] Does not begin with P.
[Rosie] Yes, mainly stone.
Is this found in the Bible?
[Boolbar] It is not in the Bible.
A bridge?
A geologic term?
Is it unique?
[Raak] I see your reference, and I appreciate it =)
[Rosie] Not a bridge.
[Bismarck] Not a geologic term.
[Tuj] Er...the MINERAL thing is unique, and the ABSTRACT thing is, broadly speaking, unique, but the MINERAL thing and the ABSTRACT thing are not the same thing.
Mount Everest?
[Bismarck] Not Mount Everest.
(Not sure how Mount Everest could be abstract, unless there's a novel called that.)
Stone me?
[Software] Not a figurative expression.
A geographic term?
Proper names are intrinsically abstract. I'm sure Wittgenstein said that, if not I'm making it up.
[Bismarck] Not a geographic term. Also, whether it is a proper name (that would be another question), proper name-ness is not the ground for this thing's abstractness.
(It seems to me, pace Wittgenstein, that The Royal Festival Hall (for example) is very concrete.)
Is the MINERAL thing human-made?
[Boolbar] It is man-made!
Is it comestible?
[Bismarck] Not comestible.
Does it involve a proper name?
Is this the Royal Festival Hall?
Is the mineral part a building?
[B1a] It does involve a proper name.
[B1b] But is not the RFH.
[B2] Is a building!
Is this building in Europe?
[Boolbar] It is, or was, in Europe.
Does it still exist?
[Bismarck] That is argued over, but the simplest answer is that no, it no longer exists.
Is this building in the British Isles?
Mysteriouser and mysteriouser... European building that may or may not exist, named by or after someone, but not decorative.
[Bismarck] Not in the British Isles.
Is its putative non-existence the result of politics?
[Rosie] Isn't everything the result of politics?
Perhaps I have been too obscure about its existence. It was built; it was partly dismantled, and partly fell into ruin, which is why it no longer exists.
[Bismarck] Although it does involve a proper name, the name is not the name of a person.
Right, this is far too vague up to here, could be anything from the Teutoburg Wall through Horta's Maison du Peuple to the Nurburgring Nordschleife. Is it in Germany?
[Bismarck] Not in Germany.
Alhambra?
[GL] Not the Alhambra. (That still exists anyway.)
Was it in Scandinavia?
A fortification such as a castle?
(Raak) re. politics. Not my excessive smoking.
[Rosie] Yes, this could be classified as a fortification. But was not a castle.
Was/Is it in France?
[Bismarck] Not France.
Is/Was it in Greece?
The Seigfried line?
[Boolbar] Not Greece.
[Software] Not the Siegfried line.
Did the Romans build it?
[Boolbar] Not built by the Romans.
Was it in the Balkans?
Scandinavia q still outstanding?
[Bismarck] Not in Scandinavia or the Balkans.
We'd better try Italy, then. Is it in Italy?
Is it in Spain?
Is it in one of the Visegrad countries?
getting there, getting there...
Not in Italy, Spain, ...(pause to google)..., or in Visegrad.
Is it in one of the Benelux countries?
[Bismarck] Not Benelux.
The audience is yawning and fidgetting.
Was it in a country whose name ends with a vowel?
As far as an English speaking person is concerned.
Is it in Switzerland?
It's not just the audience... still got Romania, Moldova, European Russia, Liechtenstein, European Turkey, Slovenia, Austria, Malta, Cyprus, and the Baltic countries to go. Let's see who cracks first.
Oh yes, there's Portugal too. Is it in Portugal?
[Bismarck] The country ends with a vowel. As indeed do most countries.
Not Switzerland. One of that list does apply, though.
Not Portugal.
One might try other angles. After all, how much would the country really tell you? What sort of building, what time period, and that abstract thing that no-one is asking about. I expect the answer is quite well known to most people here.
There are five words on the card.
Was this building still in use in 1900?
[Boolbar] Not in use in 1900.
That makes things clearer. Did people live in it?
[Bismarck] This building was not for living in.
Did this exist before 1900?
Was this a place of entertainment?
[Bismarck] Existed before 1900.
[Boolbar] Not a place of entertainment.
Any connection with horror stories?
A place of worship?
Did this exist B.C.?
[Rosie] Aaaaaaahhhhh???? No.
[Boolbar] Not a place of worship.
[Bismarck] Did not exist B.C.
Was this structure used for holding back or containing water?
[Boolbar] Not waterworks.
Was this structure a defensive wall?
A ripple of applause, as the stage of Discovery of the Footprints is attained. "These traces can no more be hidden than one's nose, looking heavenward."
Not a defensive wall.
Was it built by a religious order?
Did it exist before the year 1000 A.D.?
Was it a gateway or entrance?
[Bismarck] Not built by a religious order.
[hi again!] Did not exist before 1000 AD.
[Boolbar] Applause! It was a gateway or entrance!
triumphal arch?
[B] Not a triumphal arch.
Is the AOTC a book title?
[B] Not a book title.
Are the 5 words of the AOTC in English?
[Bismarck] The words on the card are in English. (One might quibble about foreign proper names, but I won't.)
Was this gateway/entrance at the perimeter of a city?
I hear the song of the nightingale. The sun is warm, the wind is mild, willows are green along the shore - Here no Ox can hide!
[Boolbar] (more applause!!) Yes, a gateway at the perimeter of a city.
(going back to a happy hunting ground) Is this in the Ukraine?
I seize him with a terrific struggle. His great will and power are inexhaustible. He charges to the high plateau far above the cloud-mists, Or in an impenetrable ravine he stands.
[Bismarck] Yes, it is (was) in the Ukraine!
[We're showing our age there. It's "Ukraine" these days, not "the Ukraine".]
[Raak] "The Ukraine" still exists. It's a region, whereas "Ukraine" is the country.
Do precious metals come into this?
[Raak] is so close to nirvana that it seems a shame to hinder the process. For only on super-Himalayan heights may the Answer be revealed.
[Bismarck] Strictly speaking, no precious metals are involved in the building itself, although there is a popular connection.
All quietened down a bit now - how about the golden gate of Kiev?
Mounting the Ox, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me.
[Bismarck] (a round of applause!) Hm, should I award the prize? (Whispered conference with Mycroft, ending with Mycroft shaking his head.) The mineral thing is indeed the Golden Gate of Kiev (named golden only for the domes of a nearby church). But the words on the card name both this thing and an abstract thing which is not called the Golden Gate of Kiev.
Are we looking for a piece of music here?
I don't think it is anything to do with Chicken Kiev.
Astride the Ox, I reach home. I am serene. The Ox too can rest.
[Boolbar] We are indeed looking for a piece of music.
Gates, gold, Raak, Mussorgsky, all merge.
This heaven is so vast, no message can stain it.
Bismarck has it: The Great Gate of Kiev.
Winners comments
I said what? Plausible deniability, take a bow.
So let us return and mingle with this blissful world.
Right, this next one is Mineral, to keep the ball rolling, and there are three words on the card.
Is it man made?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Is the first word "The"?
Is there only one of this?
[GL] Artificial? No.
[Kn] Bigger than small? Yes.
[Ra] Definite article? Yes.
[Bo] Unique? Yes.
A precious stone?
[Ra] Gem-quality? No.
Liquid?
Is it a mountain?
Is it a natural feature?
[GL] No.
[Bo] No.
[Ro] Yes, on balance.
A waterway?
Is it larger than Wales?
[Ra] Wet? No.
[Bo] Fwy na Cymru? Yes.
England
Oi! Mwy na Chymru, 'sgwelwch yn dda.
Is it not on the Earth?
[Ro] Anglo? No.
[Bo] Extraterrestrial? Yes.
Mars?
[Ro] Red planet? No.
The Milky Way? (Other chocolate bars are available)
Is it within our Solar System?
[Kn] No.
[Bo] No.
Is it a galaxy?
Chocolate bar theme continuing.
A nebula?
Applause and the odd Janx spirit all around
[Bo] Yes!
Hidden textThey should have praline centres, all that black hole-at-the-centre theory is due for revision

[Ra] No.
The Magellanic Clouds?
[Ro] Star cluster? No.
The Andromeda Galaxy?
Take a bow, Boolbar!
The winning move and within twenty questions, a fine effort. Take this complimentary Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster and proceed to the winner's enclosure.
Recovers from hard hitting but lemony hangover
Wow! Winning this is out of this world! And thanks for the bow, I'll pop it in my hair. Um, the next one is
ABSTRACT & ANIMAL
Aslan?
A painting?
Animal part fearsome?
[Raak] No wardrobe based lion.
[Bismark] No framed masterpiece.
[Rosie] To some I'm sure. Frightening. Audience nodding
is the animal one that might be found in the wild?
Is the animal a snake?
[Bismarck] You wouldn't really say that about this animal, so let's go for no.
[Rosie] No.
Thinking about it, the AOTC is abstract involving an abstract animal, so my answer to Rosie's "fearsome" question is more to do with the abstract animal and not the isolated animal alone. Sorry for any confusion caused. I'm more awake today. As you were.
Is the animal extinct?
[Bismarck] Definitely not!
A sacred cow?
Is the AOTC an idiomatic phrase?
[Software] No.
[Rosie] No.
A mythological creature?
An heraldic animal?
Wonders when someone will ask the usual "animal" question.
[Raak] The AOTC is not a mythological creature, but the animal part does appear in myths.
[Superman] I can find examples of the animal part in heraldic crests, but is not usually thought of as such.
A snake in the grass?
[Raak] Alas no.
Cheshire cat?
[Bismarck] No grins for you either.
A quadruped?
Is the abstract bit a literary reference?
[Superman] No.
[Bismarck] Yes!   Audience wake up and applaud.
Is the animal a human?
[Gusset Login] Yes!
So we are looking for somebody in a book... Is the perspn one of those Hero With a Thousand Faces types?.
The man with no name?
[Bismarck] Not one of those types.
[Gusset Login] Not without a name.
An historical (real) personage?
Is the personage male?
[Superman & Bismarck] Can you share this "No" between you? I'm running out of them. Neither real or male.
Is she a religious figure?
Does she have a statue in Denmark?
Liberty?
Britannia?
[All] No! Although I can't guarantee that there is not a statue somewhere in Denmark made by a bored sculptor and placed in their garden :)
Associated with a particular country?
[Raak] Yes!
Is that country in Europe?
[Superman] Yes!
British Isles?
Bernadette Soubirous?
[Bismarck] Yes!
[Raak] Not her.
Boudicca?
The Old Lady of Threadneedle Street?
[Raak] Not her either.
[Gusset Login] I like the way you think, but no.
 
The basics so far... Animal=Human (humans are found in myths, not extinct, etc.) Human=female with a name, not a religious figure. Overall a literary reference and connected with the British Isles.
Alice in Wonderland?
[Superman] Not her. Even through the looking glass.
Does this character have a pib named after her?
-pib+pub..
[Superman] Not that I know of (pibs or pubs). Without a list of all pub names worldwide it is hard to be certain. But a google search shows nothing, although I did find a pub in the UK with a very connected name.
From Arthurian legends?
Does the good lassie turn up in a play?
[Raak] No.
[Bismarck] If she does (and she has) it is not the original source, so don't be distracted by that.
Maid Marian?
[Raak] No.
Was the literary reference made after 1900?
[Bismarck] Not that recent, no.
Royalty?
[Raak] No.
Involved with the occult?
Scottish?
[Bismarck] No.
[Raak] Smattering of audience going 'oooh'   There is an aspect of the AOTC that would come under the broad sweep of the occult. However the fictional female in the AOTC was not involved with the occult.
Mother Shipton?
Though I have admit she might have been real.
[Superman] Not her.
Originating after 1600?
[Raak] It is my great pleasure to say "yes".
Shakespeare's Dark lady?
[Raak] Nor her.
 
Just to clarify and hint : when I said earlier "...but the animal part does appear in myths." I was referring to humans in general for the animal part (as people were trying to identify the animal at that point), not this particular literary fictional human female character.
One of the royalty?
The White Lady?
Would it help to define the geographical appurtenance of said female more closely?
[Superman] No to Royalty and not The White Lady but the latter gets the audience murmuring.
[Bismarck] I suspect it would help.
I'm game... Welsh lady?
[Bismarck] Best hide from those people with shotguns then... As for Wales, no.
it's the leg i was referring to, thanks for the sympathy. Ireland?
[Bismarck] Nor Ireland. That should narrow it down a bit :)
Wilkie Collins' Woman in White?
(arriving late here, I am just reacting to the recent murmur from the audience)
[gil] Nice try, but no.   Audience are looking more expectant now.
Irene Adler?
[Raak] To Sherlock Holmes she may be always the woman. But not this time.
Lack of inspiration leaves brute force... North of Manchester?
[Bismarck] Yes!
19th century?
[Raak] Yes! Yes!
from Dickens?
from the Bront?s?
Try ë for ë
[Raak] Not the Dickens.
[Superman] Shouting over the audience cheering   Yes! From the Brontës!
Oh great, never read any of them. Wikipedia suggests Jane Eyre as a possibility, is that it?
[Superman & Wikipedia] Not that possibility.
Bront?s, Brontë, Bront. Testing. Still no idea, though.
Is the AOTC a personage in 'Jane Eyre'?
[Superman] Not that book no.
Start to overheat with anticipation : someone opens a window.
Oh, go on then: Agnes Grey?
[Superman] Not her, or any other shade of grey.
Lucy Snowe?
C'mon Boolbar, we all want to know if gil has it!
[Superman] Busy weekend and...
[gil] No. [hint : wrong Brontë]
Nelly Dean?
[Superman] No but... Some audience applause and whooping
Isabella Linton?
[Superman] No. Still the wrong character. The audience fall silent. Only the sound of a branch tapping on the window can be heard.
 
Note that the AOTC does have an extra part than just the character's name : see murmur above.
Is there nobody out there that has ever read this stuff and can put us put of our misery?
Nobody wants to take the baton at this time of year. :)
I give up
Not a ghost of a chance of anyone getting this? While I wait I shall listen to some music.
Did I really start this game 14 years ago? (see wordy intro above)
To narrow down to 1, hopefully: is she already dead at the beginning of the novel?
It's one of 2 I had suspected... but I've had a go relatively recently
[Knobbly] At the beginning of the novel she is dead.
[Knobbly] Don't apologise, it's been me and Boolbar in here for the last how long, and Stockholm syndrome was beginning to set in.
Catherine Earnshaw?
Audience goes wild with excitement
[Knobbly] That'll do as I'm sure you muttered "The ghost of" just beforehand.  Plus I need a rest.  Have this baton made from a fir bough which oddly feels like a ice-cold hand...
Where did my post go?
Did I forget to click Stand again?
Anyway, as everyone drifts back from extended New Year breaks, this one is ANIMAL.
The dog ate it.
Is it a human?
Is it Arthur Pendragon?
Made of meat?
`
[Boolbar] Not human
[GL] Not -King Arthur
[Tuj] I'll say yes, but only on the basis that all animals are made of meat, so that's not particularly helpful.
Mammal?
Fictional?
A bird?
More than four legs?
[Gil] YES, mammalian ([Boolbar] and therefore not a bird)
[Rosie] Not fictional
[Bismark] No more than 4 legs.
A specific human?
A lolcat?
Larger than a 2 slice toaster?
Extinct?
[Raak] No specific human
[Bismarck] No can has cheezburger
[Chalky] YES bigger than a small toaster
[Superman] The species is not extinct.
bigger than a goat?
[gil] No bigger than a goat
Is it a member of the subfamily Caprinae?
A pet?
[Boolbar] Not Caprinae
[Rosie] YES, a pet.
Sounds doggish
Carnivorous?
Is it a Thing That Should Not Be?
[gil & Bismarck] YES, extremely doggish and indeed carnivorous
[Raak] I had to Popular Search Engine it, but no.
Irish Wolfhound?
[Superman] Not an Irish Wolfhound.
Winner of Best In Show at Crufts 2016?
Is it a specific dog?
[Chalky] Not BIS
[Boolbar] YES a specific dog.
Lassie?
[Bismarck] What's that, Lassie? No, not you.
Is this specific dog still alive?
Laika?
[Boolbar] Not still alive
[Raak] Not Laika.
Greyfriars Bobby?
Recap
So we are looking for a dead pet dog Knobbly once knew. Hmmmm.
[CdM] Not Greyfriars Bobby
[Bismarck] Choosing to interpret that as a question: No, I didn't know the dog personally.
Did or does the dog advertise something?
Did the dog appear on children's TV?
[Boolbar] YES, it is an advertising dog *Audience wakes up and begins to murmur excitedly*
[Raak] Not children's telly, no.
... the Andrex puppy?
The Dulux Old English Sheepdog?
[S & B] Neither of them.
Used in a logo?
[Boolbar] Logo, YES. *Murmuring increases - they were worried you'd been misled by the yes to adverts*
The HMV/RCA dog?
Jumping on the bandwagon
[Software] YES - The AOTC was actually its name (for an extra point?), but I'm minded to give you that.
Listen to this recording of me telling you you've won...
And the winner of the invisible AVMA game is... Can't read it, it's faded.
It is undoubtedly that much commented storm. His cable out to the islands has probably been cut and he is working feverishly to recover from the outage. With a wee bit of luck Stevie et al will sort out a piece of code and float it over in a bottle in order to help us all out. Of course that code will, of necessity, be in plain French.
Anyone going to be bold enough to start another?
Right, then. This is quite straightforward.

It's MINERAL. and nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.

Is this an element in the periodic table?
Is it an individual object?
Is it a human-made object?
Is it a rock?
Is it a plane?
(Bismarck) One of the elemnts? NO. *some muted giggles from the audience*
(Raak) An individual object? YES
(Boolbar) Human made? YES.
(Gusset Login) A rock? NO.
(Tuj) Aircraft, geometrical concept or carpentry tool? NONE of the above.
Was it human-made over 200 years ago?
Is it in the UK?
Is it a work of art?
Is it a monument?
Possibly misleading
It is an object but there are many of them. Loads of 'em, in fact.

If the questions had been phrased "Are they.....?" the answers would have been:
(Boolbar) YES, probably
(Superman) They're probably found in almost every country.
(Raak) Not a work of art.
(Bismarck) Not a monument.

[Rosie] It's an individual object, but they're found all over the place?
(Raak) It's an object, a thing, a whatsit, an oojamaflip. Individual in the sense of being different from other things. Not individual in the sense you meant though I suppose you could have a monogrammed one. Mea culpa.
A milestone?
A tool?
(Bismarck) A milestone? NO
(Raak) A tool? NO.
Are these items usually made of metal?
Is it mobile?
(Boolbar) Metallic? YES, but they don't have to be.
(Superman) Mobile? NO.
Can a person lift one of these?
(Raak) Can it be lifted? YES, very easily.
A marble?
(Raak) NO, not that easily.
A weapon of some sort?
An anchor?
(Boolbar) NO, not a weapon.
(Bismarck) An anchor? NO. Not terribly liftable.
Is this a household object?
Is this usually attached to, or part of, a building?
(Bismarck) Household object? YES
(Boolbar) Part of a building or attached thereto? YES.
A spoon?
A brick?
(Softers) NOT a spoon.
(Superman) NOT a brick.
A piece of door furniture?
Is it as big as a toaster?
(Raak) YES, though it stretches the imagination to call it furniture.
(Bismarck) Toaster-sized? NO.
Footrest?
Knockers!
(Software) Footrest? NO.
(Superman) Knockers? Where? Show me! NOT a percussive call-attention device..
A door-hinge?
(Raak) NOT a door-hinge but there is some association with the AOTC.
A jamb?
A door lock?
Knockers?
(Raak) Not a jamb.
(Bismarck) Not a door lock.
(Software) Knockers have been done, if you'll pardon the phrase. See Bismarck penult.
A gentle nudge: Not every house has one of these.
A cat flap?
A tradesmen's entrance?
Is this visible when the door is closed?
Letterbox?
(Raak,Boolbar, Software) None of those things but Superman has it. It's a cat-flap.

Over to you, Superman.

So this is a cat-flap?
Just let me sit here and meow plaintively for the next hour...
Ok, this one is ANIMAL. Let's hear your suggestions.
Is it human?
Is it food (for humans)?
We are off to a flyer!
[Boolbar] YES.
[Rosie] NO. Definitely not available for cannibalism.
A particular person?
Still alive?
First fence... going strong
[Software] YES, a particûlar character.
[Boolbar] Good question - the character is fictional, and as such never was alive, but nor has any death ever been mentioned.
A detective?
Was this fictional person created before the year 1900?
Second fence... jockeying for position
[Raak] NO, not their style.
[Boolbar] NO, more recent.
Female?
Early showing
[Raak] NO, definitely male.
A character created for a television show?
Does the character appear in only one work?
Tarzan?
Originally in a written work?
Third fence, a faller, leaders bunching
[Boolbar] NO, not for TV.
[Bismarck] NO, not an isolated incident.
[Software] NO-OOOO OOOO OOOO (sorry)
[Raak] YES, originally published on paper.
The principal character of the fiction?
Is this work the character appears in, a comic strip or graphic novel?
Fourth fence causes no problems to the leaders
[Raak] YES, this is the central character.
[Boolbar] YES, the character does appear in a comic strip or graphic novel.
A superhero?
Does the character appear in Viz?
At the fifth, over to Michael O'Hare
[Raak] Hero yes, superhero... On balance, NO. [Rosie] NO, not Viz.
Was a film made of this character?
A character from the Eagle comics?
That's going back a bit.
Loose horse, the field is split as they come to the sixth
[Bismarck] YES, a film was made with this character.
[Boolbar] NO, not from ye "Eagle".
Cow pie
Desperate Dan?
Did the character appear in a DC Comics publication?
Is the character a Marvel Comics creation?
At the sixth, a refusal, difficult landings but the race goes on
[Rosie] NO, not Dan.
[Bismarck] NO, not DC.
[Boolbar] NO, Marvel not.
Created by Neil Gaiman?
Dennis the Menace?
Did this character appear in a DC Thomson comic?
A character from 2000AD?
The water jump slows a few, but who is this coming up on the outside?
[Boolbar] NO, but good inspiration.
[Software] NO, though the character is certainly menacing.
[Bismarck] NO, no Beano, Dandy, Bunty etc.
[Raak] YES - Zarjaz! Won't be long now.
King Kong?
Judge Dredd?
Johnny Alpha?
Neck-and-neck finish!
[Software] NO, not the monkey.
[Gusset Login] NO, but it could have been the Dog.
[Raak] YES, it's everyone's favourite bobby on the beat in Mega-City One.

So Raak, you are the law! Please enter the winner's enclosure where Tharg will give you the keys to an enormous motorcycle: The rest of you into the weighing room where the Judges will execute a summary verdict.
The next is ANIMAL.
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
Is it human?
Is it fictional?
[S] Um... it is human, but not a human.
[B] Not fictional.
A nationality?
Not a nationality.
A profession?
A Band?
[B] Not a profession.
[GL] Not a band.
Does this human collective still exist today?
[B] (Q1) Not a human collective. (Q2) Exists today.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Is it a part of a human?
[B] Yes, a part of a human.
Is it a visible part of said human?
[B] It is visible (and not just to those who happen to know them rather well).
Is it still attached to the rest of the human?
[B] Still attached.
What Rak said.
Is it a sense organ?
Who nose?
Is it a hand?
Skin?
[R] Not a sense organ.
[B1] Not a hand.
[B2] Not skin.
Is it the hair on the head?
[B] applause It is the hair on the head.
A quiff?
[S] applause!! Having done a google search to determine what is and is not a quiff, I believe that this is not, strictly speaking, a quiff.
A duck's-arse haircut
Very fashionable when ah were a lad.
An Afro?
[R] Not, er, one of those.
[B] Not an afro.
Is it an individual person's hair?
[B] It is an individual person's hair.
This must be the hair of the Deal Leader whose initials are DT (and I don't mean Donald Tusk)
setting myself up for a big fall here :)
It is indeed Donald Trump's hair, and I have a really great baton for you, because our batons are the greatest in the world.
What a great baton I have got. Carefully ignoring all the previous administration may have done, I and only I have the answer you are all looking for. This will be done speedily, and is Vegetable.
Is it a tree or part of a tree?
Is it unique?
Commonly part of the human diet?
This is a great start, I am expecting to be able to choose my staff from among you boys and lady. Thanks for the questions, which are aligned to our solution and to which the following statement from Kellyanne, you know the one, will suffice:
[Boolbar] Yes, great question
[Tuj] Yes, of course, I don't do ordinary
[Rosie] Not unless you're North Korean, and my solution delegated to our great ambassador Mr McDonald will soon sort that out.
Is it a work of art?
Is it alive?
Is it a piece of furniture?
Amidst all the mess left by the previous incumbent and with no help at all from China during the eight days of our presidency, we are pursuing our way for greatness to become yours. Good thing! and in reply to these beauties, let me just say this:
[Raak] Bigly, no, and certainly not to my taste. Some more paint and gilt might rescue it. Sure, I could sell it to the Mexicans.
[Bismarck] I can deny that. Only Democrats could imagine it alive, though there is a resemblance in its aliveness to certain politicos I could mention. Wait for the revelations.
[Boolbar] Well, listen, I'm not biased, it's standing against a wall and I can put things on it, just like the Sec of State. But it doesn't speak or fall over, so it's either furniture or in line for a promotion.
A type of table?
Wait a moment while I hang up on some lady who thinks she's important. Ok. Yes, it is one of greatest types of table.
The desk in the Oval Office?
Delay caused by having to go out for a Chinese. The staff are whooping an' hollerin', that's not a bad guess, they think. So yes it has been but we need more clarification.
Presumably a specific OO desk? The "Resolute" desk?
King Arthur's Round Table?
Night, night.
Well now, that's mighty close. Not the Round Table, that's plain wrong. I sign all my presidential stuff on that Resolute desk, 'cos "resolute" is my middle name, like "you're fired." But while the staff are applauding you, Jared tells me you'll need the name of the desk given by a real industry dealer, not made out of some Limey boat.
The C&O desk?
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
Oh, cheers, and by the way it looks like your communications are tapped, there's an echo.
Here's one for the weekend: ABSTRACT, for a change.
An emotion?
Anything to do with politics?
[Gil] NO, not an emotion.
[Rosie] Whilst fairly universal, this should be associated less with politics than many other occupations.
A quality not associated with politics? Veracity?
[gil] NO, not truthfulness.
Is it a quality that is normally regarded as good?
Is self respect closely related to the AOTC?
[Dujon] NO.
Politics really isn't the way to go.
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