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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Hare?
[Ra] Ergh... No.
[Bo] Yes, they are.
[So] No.
Pig?
[Bo] Pigs are not part of this family.
Are we talking bovine here?
[Bo] No, there are no cows in this field.
Rabbit?
Goat?
[Ro] Rabbits are no part of this breed.
[Bo] Caprids, likewise, are not typical.
Deer?
[So] Deer, no. Please stop the ruminating.
Are these beasts regarded as pests?
Are these animals ungulates?
[Ro] I don't believe that even hunters could maintain they were pests.
[Bo] Yes, they all take their ungulation seriously.
Camels?
A Shetland pony?
[Ra] The Camelidae are out of reckoning. Audience, though, is getting the hump.
[Ro] Well, that gets a clap, but [Gusset Login] got there firster and better.
Do they still exist?
[Ra] They certainly exist today.
A beast of burden?
Is it a crossbreed?
[Ro] The horses certainly are, but I don't think anyone has ever tried the others.
[Bo] No miscegenation involved.
Equids generally?
[Ra] Gusset guessed that already. Still it gets a round vigorous if impatient applause and subdued cries of "Get on with it!" and "Can someone find us a zoologist?"
Odd-toed ungulates, a.k.a. Perissodactyla?
We have a winner!
And the zoologist appears, and with sage wisdom provides the answer. Therefore *Wild applause for Raak!*
For you sir, take your choice of baton engraved with a rhino, tapir, zebra, or what might be a horse, and follow the blue lights over there for the interview.
(I was waiting for [Tuj] to ask the p-question...)

The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
Is it that boulder that Sisyphus has to push up a hill?
Is it decorative?
[B1] Nice idea,but not Sisyphus? boulder.
[B2] Not decorative.
Is the mineral in liquid form?
[Boolbar] Not liquid.
Is it the name of a mineral?
Does it begin with P?
Whoops, am I late? Sorry Bism =)
Stone?
[Bismarck] Not the name of a mineral.
[Zarquon] Does not begin with P.
[Rosie] Yes, mainly stone.
Is this found in the Bible?
[Boolbar] It is not in the Bible.
A bridge?
A geologic term?
Is it unique?
[Raak] I see your reference, and I appreciate it =)
[Rosie] Not a bridge.
[Bismarck] Not a geologic term.
[Tuj] Er...the MINERAL thing is unique, and the ABSTRACT thing is, broadly speaking, unique, but the MINERAL thing and the ABSTRACT thing are not the same thing.
Mount Everest?
[Bismarck] Not Mount Everest.
(Not sure how Mount Everest could be abstract, unless there's a novel called that.)
Stone me?
[Software] Not a figurative expression.
A geographic term?
Proper names are intrinsically abstract. I'm sure Wittgenstein said that, if not I'm making it up.
[Bismarck] Not a geographic term. Also, whether it is a proper name (that would be another question), proper name-ness is not the ground for this thing's abstractness.
(It seems to me, pace Wittgenstein, that The Royal Festival Hall (for example) is very concrete.)
Is the MINERAL thing human-made?
[Boolbar] It is man-made!
Is it comestible?
[Bismarck] Not comestible.
Does it involve a proper name?
Is this the Royal Festival Hall?
Is the mineral part a building?
[B1a] It does involve a proper name.
[B1b] But is not the RFH.
[B2] Is a building!
Is this building in Europe?
[Boolbar] It is, or was, in Europe.
Does it still exist?
[Bismarck] That is argued over, but the simplest answer is that no, it no longer exists.
Is this building in the British Isles?
Mysteriouser and mysteriouser... European building that may or may not exist, named by or after someone, but not decorative.
[Bismarck] Not in the British Isles.
Is its putative non-existence the result of politics?
[Rosie] Isn't everything the result of politics?
Perhaps I have been too obscure about its existence. It was built; it was partly dismantled, and partly fell into ruin, which is why it no longer exists.
[Bismarck] Although it does involve a proper name, the name is not the name of a person.
Right, this is far too vague up to here, could be anything from the Teutoburg Wall through Horta's Maison du Peuple to the Nurburgring Nordschleife. Is it in Germany?
[Bismarck] Not in Germany.
Alhambra?
[GL] Not the Alhambra. (That still exists anyway.)
Was it in Scandinavia?
A fortification such as a castle?
(Raak) re. politics. Not my excessive smoking.
[Rosie] Yes, this could be classified as a fortification. But was not a castle.
Was/Is it in France?
[Bismarck] Not France.
Is/Was it in Greece?
The Seigfried line?
[Boolbar] Not Greece.
[Software] Not the Siegfried line.
Did the Romans build it?
[Boolbar] Not built by the Romans.
Was it in the Balkans?
Scandinavia q still outstanding?
[Bismarck] Not in Scandinavia or the Balkans.
We'd better try Italy, then. Is it in Italy?
Is it in Spain?
Is it in one of the Visegrad countries?
getting there, getting there...
Not in Italy, Spain, ...(pause to google)..., or in Visegrad.
Is it in one of the Benelux countries?
[Bismarck] Not Benelux.
The audience is yawning and fidgetting.
Was it in a country whose name ends with a vowel?
As far as an English speaking person is concerned.
Is it in Switzerland?
It's not just the audience... still got Romania, Moldova, European Russia, Liechtenstein, European Turkey, Slovenia, Austria, Malta, Cyprus, and the Baltic countries to go. Let's see who cracks first.
Oh yes, there's Portugal too. Is it in Portugal?
[Bismarck] The country ends with a vowel. As indeed do most countries.
Not Switzerland. One of that list does apply, though.
Not Portugal.
One might try other angles. After all, how much would the country really tell you? What sort of building, what time period, and that abstract thing that no-one is asking about. I expect the answer is quite well known to most people here.
There are five words on the card.
Was this building still in use in 1900?
[Boolbar] Not in use in 1900.
That makes things clearer. Did people live in it?
[Bismarck] This building was not for living in.
Did this exist before 1900?
Was this a place of entertainment?
[Bismarck] Existed before 1900.
[Boolbar] Not a place of entertainment.
Any connection with horror stories?
A place of worship?
Did this exist B.C.?
[Rosie] Aaaaaaahhhhh???? No.
[Boolbar] Not a place of worship.
[Bismarck] Did not exist B.C.
Was this structure used for holding back or containing water?
[Boolbar] Not waterworks.
Was this structure a defensive wall?
A ripple of applause, as the stage of Discovery of the Footprints is attained. "These traces can no more be hidden than one's nose, looking heavenward."
Not a defensive wall.
Was it built by a religious order?
Did it exist before the year 1000 A.D.?
Was it a gateway or entrance?
[Bismarck] Not built by a religious order.
[hi again!] Did not exist before 1000 AD.
[Boolbar] Applause! It was a gateway or entrance!
triumphal arch?
[B] Not a triumphal arch.
Is the AOTC a book title?
[B] Not a book title.
Are the 5 words of the AOTC in English?
[Bismarck] The words on the card are in English. (One might quibble about foreign proper names, but I won't.)
Was this gateway/entrance at the perimeter of a city?
I hear the song of the nightingale. The sun is warm, the wind is mild, willows are green along the shore - Here no Ox can hide!
[Boolbar] (more applause!!) Yes, a gateway at the perimeter of a city.
(going back to a happy hunting ground) Is this in the Ukraine?
I seize him with a terrific struggle. His great will and power are inexhaustible. He charges to the high plateau far above the cloud-mists, Or in an impenetrable ravine he stands.
[Bismarck] Yes, it is (was) in the Ukraine!
[We're showing our age there. It's "Ukraine" these days, not "the Ukraine".]
[Raak] "The Ukraine" still exists. It's a region, whereas "Ukraine" is the country.
Do precious metals come into this?
[Raak] is so close to nirvana that it seems a shame to hinder the process. For only on super-Himalayan heights may the Answer be revealed.
[Bismarck] Strictly speaking, no precious metals are involved in the building itself, although there is a popular connection.
All quietened down a bit now - how about the golden gate of Kiev?
Mounting the Ox, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me.
[Bismarck] (a round of applause!) Hm, should I award the prize? (Whispered conference with Mycroft, ending with Mycroft shaking his head.) The mineral thing is indeed the Golden Gate of Kiev (named golden only for the domes of a nearby church). But the words on the card name both this thing and an abstract thing which is not called the Golden Gate of Kiev.
Are we looking for a piece of music here?
I don't think it is anything to do with Chicken Kiev.
Astride the Ox, I reach home. I am serene. The Ox too can rest.
[Boolbar] We are indeed looking for a piece of music.
Gates, gold, Raak, Mussorgsky, all merge.
This heaven is so vast, no message can stain it.
Bismarck has it: The Great Gate of Kiev.
Winners comments
I said what? Plausible deniability, take a bow.
So let us return and mingle with this blissful world.
Right, this next one is Mineral, to keep the ball rolling, and there are three words on the card.
Is it man made?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Is the first word "The"?
Is there only one of this?
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