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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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[Raak] buried? NO
[Tuj] EU-ish? YES
Arc de Triomphe?
[Software] Etoile? NO.
Is it in an urban area?
[Rosie] Downtown? YES.
A statue?
A tourist attraction?
[Rosie] YES
[Raak] YES
Oh and in general their is the odd approving noise from the audience
Nelson's Column?
[Raak] YES - audience cheering but then subsiding as that's the main dish, but the "side order" needs to be found too.
The actual statue of Nelson?
[Raak] Trafalgar Square? NO, that would be too easy... Some applause from the right wing of the audience.
The Fourth Plinth?
^[Software] NO.
The Trafalgar Square lions?
[Knobbly] Felines? NO.
Hint - Nelson was quite well regarded in many placed.
In Menorca?
Is it in London?
[Software] Balearics? NO.
[Raak] City? NO.
So, the AOTC isn't in London, but the audience cheered Nelson's column...
Is it in Scotland?
[Boolbar] North o' the border? NO. A few claps from the audience, though.
Geordieland?
[Software] Tyne? NO
Ireland?
[Gusset] YES. Audience sensation, as they say.
Then it is surely Nelson's Pillar.
Audience goes wild for [Raak] Nelson's pillar is correct! Well done sir. Please take this green pillar-shaped baton and proceed with the next round.
Remind me never to run a relay with Raak, won't you :-)
Oh, ah. Um. The next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Snoopy's friend Woodstock?
Not Woodstock.
A wildlife programme?
Does it begin with P?
[Rosie] Not a wildlife programme.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P. (slight oohing sounds from audience)
Is the animal non-human?
(Some laughter) Not non-human.
Is the non-non-human not male?
Is the non-non-human principally famous for literary appearances?
[B] Might or might not be male.
[G] Not literary appearances, no.
Does the Abstract refer to the title or role of the non-non-human of indeterminate sex?
Be there a sporting connection?
[R] (polite applause) Yes, the Abstract has to do with the title or role (but there is more to the Abstractness than that).
[T] No sporting connection.
Was this known of in the year 1900?
Was this known of in the year 1900? One could take different interpretations, about which I can imagine philosophers of language debating endlessly. I shall interpret the words on the card as implying the answer: Yes.
Would you expect to find this mentioned in a book of World Records?
[Tuj] Would not be mentioned in a book of World Records.
Is/Was the person an inventor?
An inventor? Unlikely, I think.
Is the Animal one specific example of its kind?
[Bismarck] Not a specific example of its kind.
Is this an unknown person?
[Dujon] Yes, an unknown person. Although not totally.
Something like The Bogeyman?
[Rosie] (laughter!) Many would say there's a strong possibility of this thing being very like The Bogeyman.
In the UK, is there only one of this?
[Rosie] In the UK, there is none of this.
The yeti?
[Software] Not the yeti.
Is this anything to do with politics?
[Rosie] (applause!) It is to do with politics.
To do with the EU?
[Rosie] Not the EU.
The leader of the first communal state?
[Dujon] Not sure what a communal state is, but no.
Is this an American thing?
(Applause!) It is an American thing.
Are eagles involved?
No eagles are involved.
Is it currently in the news?
Yes, it is currently in the news.
The Republican Party campaign for the Presidency?
A lame duck, as in "Obama is a lame duck president?"
[Rosie] (more applause!) Very close, but not the answer.
[Bismarck] Absolutely not a lame duck.
The American Presidential race?
[Bismarck] (the audience enthusiastically cheer on the runners) You are getting closer, but that is not yet the answer.
Hillary Clinton's campaign to become President?
[Rosie] (more cheering) Not Hillary Clinton's campaign either.
The US election?
[Software] (still cheering, you're thinking on the right lines) Not the US election.
You only have a few days to get this.
I'm off on holiday to Switzerland this Wednesday.
Do any dead people come into this?
[Bismarck] Dead people cannot come into this.
Going once...
The Canadian election?
Televised debates?
Not the Canadian election, or televised debates.
Hint: In a sense, this thing does not exist, but it is not fictional. For a period of time it does exist, and afterwards it again doesn't exist.
Going twice...
The thing does not exist right now, but it will in the near future, for a while.
Election promises?
Not election promises, but getting closer. It definitely has something to do with an election.
The guillotine will fall before midnight today.
The wall between the US and Mexico, as suggested by one of the candidates?
I've no time to take over... but I suspect the words "elect" and "president" might be needed.
[B] Not the wall.
[A] One of those words is on the card!
Another hint
The word "next" is also on the card.
And the winner is...
The first person to say "The next president of the United States."
Is it me?
Assuming Raak is now away, I presume to draw a line
Does that make it my go? Bugger... I mean goldarn it
OK, this is mineral. Play on!
Metallic?
Oily?
In a state that was fashioned by humans?
Is there only one?
[S] Not metal. (There may be some metallic atoms knocking around for aught I know or care.)
[R] Not oleaginous.
[Bi] Man-made, yes.
[Bo] There is only one of the AOTC, although there are other similar... things.
Stone?
Mount Rushmore?
Stone Henge?
Is it in the USA?
[R] Yes, stone. Almost entirely I should think.
[B] (A solitary applau is hurriedly shushed) No, not Mt Rushmore
[GL] It is not a henge of stone
[B] Not in 'Murica (U S of)
Is it a mountain?
Cleopatra's needle?
Is it a statue?
Does it begin with P?
[D] Hmm... Well, it wasn't when I thought of it, but actually a mountain is called this too.
[S] It is no part of Cleopatra's sewing kit
[B] Not a statue
[T] It literally doesn't begin with P
Does it exist today?
Is it in Africa?
[Bi] Still there, yes, but not in Africa.
Petra?
The parthenon?
Is it a monument?
Is it a castle?
Is it inside a building?
[GL & S] Not Petra, the Parthenon or anywhere else beginning with P.
[R] It is a monument in the sense of 'site of historical importance', but not in the sense of 'structure erected to commemorate an event or person'.
[Bi] Not a castle by any sensible definition.
[Boo] Not found in a buiding.
Is it in England?
Is it in Scotland?
[Bi] Not in jolly old England.
[Boo] Not in bonny Scotland.
In Europe?
[R] Not in Europe neither. Where's left that isn't Europe, Africa or the USA?
Is it in Australasia?
It might be South America. is it?
Is it in Canada?
Is it on the Moon?
Was it man-made within the last 1000 years?
[Bi] It sure is in South America..
[GL & R] See above.
[Bo] Last 1,000 years, yes.
Is it in Brazil?
Macchu Picchu?
[Bo] Not Brazil.
[Bi] Indeed yes, therefore *Wild applause for Bismarck*
I'd better get back on the campaign trail...
Oh. Oh! And I thought that had no chance because of the 'P' in Picchu, as perennially suggested by Tuj. But I shall humbly take it upon myself to climb down this peak and devise another riddle. But first, this line:

Right, time for something Animal

Human?
Does it have two eyes?
[R] Not human
[B] Indeed they all do
Four legs?
Do these animals live on land?
Hamsters?
...no P...
Native to the UK?
Taste nice?
[So] Yes.
[Bo] Yes.
[Tu] No.
[Ra] Yes.
[Ro] I have only eaten one of this type of animal and it was nice.
Horses?
[GuLo] That gets an outbreak of clapping, with the odd whoop, holler, and whinny. However, it's not right.
Hedgehogs?
[Bo] No, we are spineless today.
Fillet of unborn horse, simmered in its own amniotic fluid?
Are these animals mammalian?
Hare?
[Ra] Ergh... No.
[Bo] Yes, they are.
[So] No.
Pig?
[Bo] Pigs are not part of this family.
Are we talking bovine here?
[Bo] No, there are no cows in this field.
Rabbit?
Goat?
[Ro] Rabbits are no part of this breed.
[Bo] Caprids, likewise, are not typical.
Deer?
[So] Deer, no. Please stop the ruminating.
Are these beasts regarded as pests?
Are these animals ungulates?
[Ro] I don't believe that even hunters could maintain they were pests.
[Bo] Yes, they all take their ungulation seriously.
Camels?
A Shetland pony?
[Ra] The Camelidae are out of reckoning. Audience, though, is getting the hump.
[Ro] Well, that gets a clap, but [Gusset Login] got there firster and better.
Do they still exist?
[Ra] They certainly exist today.
A beast of burden?
Is it a crossbreed?
[Ro] The horses certainly are, but I don't think anyone has ever tried the others.
[Bo] No miscegenation involved.
Equids generally?
[Ra] Gusset guessed that already. Still it gets a round vigorous if impatient applause and subdued cries of "Get on with it!" and "Can someone find us a zoologist?"
Odd-toed ungulates, a.k.a. Perissodactyla?
We have a winner!
And the zoologist appears, and with sage wisdom provides the answer. Therefore *Wild applause for Raak!*
For you sir, take your choice of baton engraved with a rhino, tapir, zebra, or what might be a horse, and follow the blue lights over there for the interview.
(I was waiting for [Tuj] to ask the p-question...)

The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
Is it that boulder that Sisyphus has to push up a hill?
Is it decorative?
[B1] Nice idea,but not Sisyphus? boulder.
[B2] Not decorative.
Is the mineral in liquid form?
[Boolbar] Not liquid.
Is it the name of a mineral?
Does it begin with P?
Whoops, am I late? Sorry Bism =)
Stone?
[Bismarck] Not the name of a mineral.
[Zarquon] Does not begin with P.
[Rosie] Yes, mainly stone.
Is this found in the Bible?
[Boolbar] It is not in the Bible.
A bridge?
A geologic term?
Is it unique?
[Raak] I see your reference, and I appreciate it =)
[Rosie] Not a bridge.
[Bismarck] Not a geologic term.
[Tuj] Er...the MINERAL thing is unique, and the ABSTRACT thing is, broadly speaking, unique, but the MINERAL thing and the ABSTRACT thing are not the same thing.
Mount Everest?
[Bismarck] Not Mount Everest.
(Not sure how Mount Everest could be abstract, unless there's a novel called that.)
Stone me?
[Software] Not a figurative expression.
A geographic term?
Proper names are intrinsically abstract. I'm sure Wittgenstein said that, if not I'm making it up.
[Bismarck] Not a geographic term. Also, whether it is a proper name (that would be another question), proper name-ness is not the ground for this thing's abstractness.
(It seems to me, pace Wittgenstein, that The Royal Festival Hall (for example) is very concrete.)
Is the MINERAL thing human-made?
[Boolbar] It is man-made!
Is it comestible?
[Bismarck] Not comestible.
Does it involve a proper name?
Is this the Royal Festival Hall?
Is the mineral part a building?
[B1a] It does involve a proper name.
[B1b] But is not the RFH.
[B2] Is a building!
Is this building in Europe?
[Boolbar] It is, or was, in Europe.
Does it still exist?
[Bismarck] That is argued over, but the simplest answer is that no, it no longer exists.
Is this building in the British Isles?
Mysteriouser and mysteriouser... European building that may or may not exist, named by or after someone, but not decorative.
[Bismarck] Not in the British Isles.
Is its putative non-existence the result of politics?
[Rosie] Isn't everything the result of politics?
Perhaps I have been too obscure about its existence. It was built; it was partly dismantled, and partly fell into ruin, which is why it no longer exists.
[Bismarck] Although it does involve a proper name, the name is not the name of a person.
Right, this is far too vague up to here, could be anything from the Teutoburg Wall through Horta's Maison du Peuple to the Nurburgring Nordschleife. Is it in Germany?
[Bismarck] Not in Germany.
Alhambra?
[GL] Not the Alhambra. (That still exists anyway.)
Was it in Scandinavia?
A fortification such as a castle?
(Raak) re. politics. Not my excessive smoking.
[Rosie] Yes, this could be classified as a fortification. But was not a castle.
Was/Is it in France?
[Bismarck] Not France.
Is/Was it in Greece?
The Seigfried line?
[Boolbar] Not Greece.
[Software] Not the Siegfried line.
Did the Romans build it?
[Boolbar] Not built by the Romans.
Was it in the Balkans?
Scandinavia q still outstanding?
[Bismarck] Not in Scandinavia or the Balkans.
We'd better try Italy, then. Is it in Italy?
Is it in Spain?
Is it in one of the Visegrad countries?
getting there, getting there...
Not in Italy, Spain, ...(pause to google)..., or in Visegrad.
Is it in one of the Benelux countries?
[Bismarck] Not Benelux.
The audience is yawning and fidgetting.
Was it in a country whose name ends with a vowel?
As far as an English speaking person is concerned.
Is it in Switzerland?
It's not just the audience... still got Romania, Moldova, European Russia, Liechtenstein, European Turkey, Slovenia, Austria, Malta, Cyprus, and the Baltic countries to go. Let's see who cracks first.
Oh yes, there's Portugal too. Is it in Portugal?
[Bismarck] The country ends with a vowel. As indeed do most countries.
Not Switzerland. One of that list does apply, though.
Not Portugal.
One might try other angles. After all, how much would the country really tell you? What sort of building, what time period, and that abstract thing that no-one is asking about. I expect the answer is quite well known to most people here.
There are five words on the card.
Was this building still in use in 1900?
[Boolbar] Not in use in 1900.
That makes things clearer. Did people live in it?
[Bismarck] This building was not for living in.
Did this exist before 1900?
Was this a place of entertainment?
[Bismarck] Existed before 1900.
[Boolbar] Not a place of entertainment.
Any connection with horror stories?
A place of worship?
Did this exist B.C.?
[Rosie] Aaaaaaahhhhh???? No.
[Boolbar] Not a place of worship.
[Bismarck] Did not exist B.C.
Was this structure used for holding back or containing water?
[Boolbar] Not waterworks.
Was this structure a defensive wall?
A ripple of applause, as the stage of Discovery of the Footprints is attained. "These traces can no more be hidden than one's nose, looking heavenward."
Not a defensive wall.
Was it built by a religious order?
Did it exist before the year 1000 A.D.?
Was it a gateway or entrance?
[Bismarck] Not built by a religious order.
[hi again!] Did not exist before 1000 AD.
[Boolbar] Applause! It was a gateway or entrance!
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