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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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[Knobbly] Godbothering with form? - NO * Phil ruled that out *
[Bismarck] - Big Stick? - NO
Does it begin with P?
...just to show gratitude for Bismarck's efforts by making a considered contribution ;)
The East India Company?
Do ships enter into this at all?
Eton?
[Tuj] P-ish? - NO (not one to be seen in the AOTC)
[Raak] Bubble? - NO (the right number of words, though)
[Bismarck] - Harbourish? - NO
[Rosie] The origin of our present governing classes? - NO
Is this a real-life organisation, or one that exists only on a screen?
[Bismarck] Real or imagery? - er, YES. * sporadic clapping from audience *
Logical NOR should have been used in previous question. Ahem. Is this an imaginary company?
[Bismarck] Virtual? - NO

Hint: The AOTC has 4 words one being the definite article it exists on screen.

The League of Gentlemen?
Never watched it; only vaguely even heard of it; but it popped into my head after reading over the game so I thought I'd go for an audacious lurker's victory.
[CdM] LOG? - NO
The Great Western Railway?
Is the third word "of"?
[Rosie] God's Wonderful Railway? - sadly, NO
[Raak] of-ly? NO

* audience shuffling *

Is this organisation viewed favourably by the British population?
[Rosie] Favourable to the Brits - mmmm, NO (not lately, anyway)
The European Court of Justice?
[Rosie] ECoJ? - NO * sporadic clapping from audience *
The Arsenal?
[Bimarck] The Gunners? - NO. * audience getting restless *
A political party?
Ah... do I hear a few bars of the prelude to Charpentier's Te Deum?
The European Court of Human Rights?
Well, it IS down the road from me...
[Bismarck] Party? - NO
[nights] ECHR? - NO * a few random claps from the audience *
Was my guess a bit too subtle? Is it the European Broadcasting Union?
[Knobbly] EBU? - NO * audience wakes up with enthusiastic clapping *
Is this a European attempt to celebrate the diversity of culture?
[Bismarck] multicultural? - YES! * audience getting excited *
Musical culture?
[Bismarck] music? - YES! * audience wild with anticipation *
The Eurovision Song Contest?
[Rosie] Tat for the masses? - YES!!!! at last.

Hands over the tacky microphone-shaped baton to Rosie

I could object that the Eurovision Song Contest is not an organisation (whereas the EBU is which is why I went for that), but I wouldn't want to be accused of taking this too seriously.
I also don't want the baton at the moment.
As you were...
Blast! beaten to it. Rosie, congratulations. May your all dihydrogen oxide be changed to dihydrogen dioxide for twenty milliseconds.
Peroxide blonde
(Bismarck) Now you see it, now you don't.
And the next object is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Human animal?
(Softers) Human? Humans are involved but essentially NO.
Is it green?
Does it begin with P?
Does it make a noise?
Can I live without it?
Sorry for the delay
(Bismarck) NO, not green.
(Tuj) P? Not in any language I can think of.
(Knobbly) A noise? YES, it must have done.
(Boolbar) Essential for life? NO.
The Llangollen Amateur Vivisectionists' Society! It just came to me in a flash.
(Bismarck) Dee-scission? I'm afraid not.
Fictional?
Fictional?
Oops.
Fictional?
The Big Bang?
Going for an early attempt...
Is it a human invention?
(Raak + Gusset Login) NO, not fictional.
(Knobbly) NO, not the Big Bang.
(Tuj) YES, human, but I wouldn't call it an invention.
A philosophical concept?
(Raak) NO, not philosophical, not a concept.
Does it still exist?
(Bismarck) Still exist? NO.
Associated with a particular geographical locale?
Also, could you clarify an earlier answer? When Boolbar asked "Can I live without it?", was your answer of "NO" directed to that question or your contrarily-rephrased "Essential for life?"?
(Tuj) Point taken. The rephrasing had got a bit out of hand. The answer to "Can I live without it?" is YES. As for your actual question, the answer is YES, followed by *audience animation*.
Todo with the planet taken as a whole?
Animal bit-were they raised for food?
(Raak) NO, not to do with the whole planet.
(Bismarck) For food? YES.
May not be able to have another guess for a while, so I'll try bovine spongiform encephalitis.
Did it exist for a specific period of time?
[Rosie] An animated audience, eh? At least no people were harmed in the making of assistance-giving reactions =)
(Bismarck) Mad cow? Now who am I thinking of? I'm afraid the answer is NO.
(Tuj) YES. *even more audience animation*
Powdered egg?
Some sort of public event?
(Softers) Powdered egg? Good stuff - it wasn't even on the ration IIRC. But NOT the answer.
(Raak) A public event? Certainly not intended as such though most of the public would be aware of it.
Cheese rolling?
Cheese rolling? Er, NO.
Did it happen in the UK?
(Bismarck) In the UK? Essentially NO, though I suspect some elements of it did.
A global event?
(Softers) NO, not global
was the specific geographic locale in Europe?
(Bismarck) In Europe? Well, YES, sort of.
Confusticated... has a 'specific' locale (++audience animation) 'sort of' in the European continent and 'sort of not' in the UK. Ireland?
Deconfustificationment
(Bismarck) Specific locale, YES. European continent? NO, but a strict geographer may disagree. Ireland? NO. If I say much more I may as well tell you the answer.
a political event?
Thanks, Rosie. Let's try for the timing - did this happen within your living memory?
(Raak) Political? YES.
(Bismarck) Within my living memory? YES.
an event relating to the EU?
(Raak) NO, not related to the EU.
Did it happen in the previous century?
Suez crisis?
in 1989?
(Bismarck) 20th century? YES.
(Software) NO, not the Suez crisis.
(Raak) In 1989? NO.
1970's?
(Bismarck) 1970's? Partly, YES.
Were fish involved?
(Bismarck) Fish? YES, they were indeed.
Did Iceland win at least 3-0?
(Bismarck) YES. That, I recall, was the score.
"The Phantom Menace", the cut that left the fish-slapping dance scene in?
Stop taking the piss
(Bismarck) NO, it wasn't that one.
The library, you say?
all right, all right... it's the Cod Wars.
It is, of course, the COD WARS. Well done. Take this giant baton-shaped fish finger and proceed to the next object.
Well, nothing for it now (gulp)...
The next object is MINERAL with a side order of location, as there may be multiple instances.
man-made?
[Raak] YES.
Metal?
[Raak] NO, not so as you'd notice
Does it begin with P?
fffrrttt
Mainly stone?
[Tuj] NO, not in any language I am aware of oblig.
[Raak] YES
On Earth?
[Raak] Terrestrial? YES.
Habitable?
[Tuj] NO.
underground?
In Europe?
[Raak] buried? NO
[Tuj] EU-ish? YES
Arc de Triomphe?
[Software] Etoile? NO.
Is it in an urban area?
[Rosie] Downtown? YES.
A statue?
A tourist attraction?
[Rosie] YES
[Raak] YES
Oh and in general their is the odd approving noise from the audience
Nelson's Column?
[Raak] YES - audience cheering but then subsiding as that's the main dish, but the "side order" needs to be found too.
The actual statue of Nelson?
[Raak] Trafalgar Square? NO, that would be too easy... Some applause from the right wing of the audience.
The Fourth Plinth?
^[Software] NO.
The Trafalgar Square lions?
[Knobbly] Felines? NO.
Hint - Nelson was quite well regarded in many placed.
In Menorca?
Is it in London?
[Software] Balearics? NO.
[Raak] City? NO.
So, the AOTC isn't in London, but the audience cheered Nelson's column...
Is it in Scotland?
[Boolbar] North o' the border? NO. A few claps from the audience, though.
Geordieland?
[Software] Tyne? NO
Ireland?
[Gusset] YES. Audience sensation, as they say.
Then it is surely Nelson's Pillar.
Audience goes wild for [Raak] Nelson's pillar is correct! Well done sir. Please take this green pillar-shaped baton and proceed with the next round.
Remind me never to run a relay with Raak, won't you :-)
Oh, ah. Um. The next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Snoopy's friend Woodstock?
Not Woodstock.
A wildlife programme?
Does it begin with P?
[Rosie] Not a wildlife programme.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P. (slight oohing sounds from audience)
Is the animal non-human?
(Some laughter) Not non-human.
Is the non-non-human not male?
Is the non-non-human principally famous for literary appearances?
[B] Might or might not be male.
[G] Not literary appearances, no.
Does the Abstract refer to the title or role of the non-non-human of indeterminate sex?
Be there a sporting connection?
[R] (polite applause) Yes, the Abstract has to do with the title or role (but there is more to the Abstractness than that).
[T] No sporting connection.
Was this known of in the year 1900?
Was this known of in the year 1900? One could take different interpretations, about which I can imagine philosophers of language debating endlessly. I shall interpret the words on the card as implying the answer: Yes.
Would you expect to find this mentioned in a book of World Records?
[Tuj] Would not be mentioned in a book of World Records.
Is/Was the person an inventor?
An inventor? Unlikely, I think.
Is the Animal one specific example of its kind?
[Bismarck] Not a specific example of its kind.
Is this an unknown person?
[Dujon] Yes, an unknown person. Although not totally.
Something like The Bogeyman?
[Rosie] (laughter!) Many would say there's a strong possibility of this thing being very like The Bogeyman.
In the UK, is there only one of this?
[Rosie] In the UK, there is none of this.
The yeti?
[Software] Not the yeti.
Is this anything to do with politics?
[Rosie] (applause!) It is to do with politics.
To do with the EU?
[Rosie] Not the EU.
The leader of the first communal state?
[Dujon] Not sure what a communal state is, but no.
Is this an American thing?
(Applause!) It is an American thing.
Are eagles involved?
No eagles are involved.
Is it currently in the news?
Yes, it is currently in the news.
The Republican Party campaign for the Presidency?
A lame duck, as in "Obama is a lame duck president?"
[Rosie] (more applause!) Very close, but not the answer.
[Bismarck] Absolutely not a lame duck.
The American Presidential race?
[Bismarck] (the audience enthusiastically cheer on the runners) You are getting closer, but that is not yet the answer.
Hillary Clinton's campaign to become President?
[Rosie] (more cheering) Not Hillary Clinton's campaign either.
The US election?
[Software] (still cheering, you're thinking on the right lines) Not the US election.
You only have a few days to get this.
I'm off on holiday to Switzerland this Wednesday.
Do any dead people come into this?
[Bismarck] Dead people cannot come into this.
Going once...
The Canadian election?
Televised debates?
Not the Canadian election, or televised debates.
Hint: In a sense, this thing does not exist, but it is not fictional. For a period of time it does exist, and afterwards it again doesn't exist.
Going twice...
The thing does not exist right now, but it will in the near future, for a while.
Election promises?
Not election promises, but getting closer. It definitely has something to do with an election.
The guillotine will fall before midnight today.
The wall between the US and Mexico, as suggested by one of the candidates?
I've no time to take over... but I suspect the words "elect" and "president" might be needed.
[B] Not the wall.
[A] One of those words is on the card!
Another hint
The word "next" is also on the card.
And the winner is...
The first person to say "The next president of the United States."
Is it me?
Assuming Raak is now away, I presume to draw a line
Does that make it my go? Bugger... I mean goldarn it
OK, this is mineral. Play on!
Metallic?
Oily?
In a state that was fashioned by humans?
Is there only one?
[S] Not metal. (There may be some metallic atoms knocking around for aught I know or care.)
[R] Not oleaginous.
[Bi] Man-made, yes.
[Bo] There is only one of the AOTC, although there are other similar... things.
Stone?
Mount Rushmore?
Stone Henge?
Is it in the USA?
[R] Yes, stone. Almost entirely I should think.
[B] (A solitary applau is hurriedly shushed) No, not Mt Rushmore
[GL] It is not a henge of stone
[B] Not in 'Murica (U S of)
Is it a mountain?
Cleopatra's needle?
Is it a statue?
Does it begin with P?
[D] Hmm... Well, it wasn't when I thought of it, but actually a mountain is called this too.
[S] It is no part of Cleopatra's sewing kit
[B] Not a statue
[T] It literally doesn't begin with P
Does it exist today?
Is it in Africa?
[Bi] Still there, yes, but not in Africa.
Petra?
The parthenon?
Is it a monument?
Is it a castle?
Is it inside a building?
[GL & S] Not Petra, the Parthenon or anywhere else beginning with P.
[R] It is a monument in the sense of 'site of historical importance', but not in the sense of 'structure erected to commemorate an event or person'.
[Bi] Not a castle by any sensible definition.
[Boo] Not found in a buiding.
Is it in England?
Is it in Scotland?
[Bi] Not in jolly old England.
[Boo] Not in bonny Scotland.
In Europe?
[R] Not in Europe neither. Where's left that isn't Europe, Africa or the USA?
Is it in Australasia?
It might be South America. is it?
Is it in Canada?
Is it on the Moon?
Was it man-made within the last 1000 years?
[Bi] It sure is in South America..
[GL & R] See above.
[Bo] Last 1,000 years, yes.
Is it in Brazil?
Macchu Picchu?
[Bo] Not Brazil.
[Bi] Indeed yes, therefore *Wild applause for Bismarck*
I'd better get back on the campaign trail...
Oh. Oh! And I thought that had no chance because of the 'P' in Picchu, as perennially suggested by Tuj. But I shall humbly take it upon myself to climb down this peak and devise another riddle. But first, this line:

Right, time for something Animal

Human?
Does it have two eyes?
[R] Not human
[B] Indeed they all do
Four legs?
Do these animals live on land?
Hamsters?
...no P...
Native to the UK?
Taste nice?
[So] Yes.
[Bo] Yes.
[Tu] No.
[Ra] Yes.
[Ro] I have only eaten one of this type of animal and it was nice.
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