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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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A chicken salad sandwich?
[Projoy] Chix Salad Butty? NO
Pub grub?
[Software] Is the AOTC "Pub grub"? NO, but it could be classified as such
Is the animal red meat?
Scampi and chips in the basket ?
very 70s
Is the vegetable potatoes?
A 'lunch' of some kind?
Scotch Broth?
[Rosie] Red meat? According to the USDA, YES, but in my personal opinion, NO.
[Software] Scampi? NO
[Raak] Potatoes? NO
[Dujon] some kind of 'lunch'? YES, it can be.
[Chalky] Scotch Broth? NO *some encouraging applause*
Some form of burger?
[Rosie] Burger? NO
soup?
Does it contain sausage?
Is bacon involved?
[Raak] Soup? YES *more applause*
[Rosie] Inc. sausage? NO
[GL] Bacon involved? NO * A smattering of applause*
Does this involve ham and peas?
[Dujon] Ham & Peas? YES *Considerable applause*
Pea and ham soup?
Does it begin with a...
Ahem.
[Tuj] But 3 hours too late :)
[Raak] Pea and ham soup? YES
Officially, as far as I could find, pork counts as red meat in the USA, and appears to be undefined here. But in my opinion, 3 categories of meat exist :red, white and processed, hence my awkward answer earlier.
*passes a breadstick to Raak*
The next is ANIMAL.
Is bacon involved?
Does this animal consume bacon?
[GL] Bacon is not involved.
[CdM] Does not normally consume bacon.
Is it human?
Alive?
[Gusset Login] Not human.
[Rosie] Alive.
One particular animal?
[Rosie] Um...yes and no.
An animal foetus perhaps?
[Dujon] Not a foetus.
A swarm of bees attacking Topshop?
Is it a parasite?
[GL] Not a swarm of bees.
[Dujon] Yes! It is a parasite.
A louse?
[Software] Not a louse.
Does it begin with P?
Does not begin with P.
Is this an internal parasite (as opposed to a tick or its ilk)?
[Dujon] Not an internal parasite.
Is it a Benefit Scrounger?
[Chalky] * laughter and applause* Yes, I suppose it is in a way.
A mosquito?
[Rosie] Not a mosquito.
Was this once used by doctors as a remedy for various ills?
[Dujon] Not a cureall.
Tick?
[GL] Not a tick.
Does it have a relationship with bats?
[Dujon] Not below the phylum level.
A bedbug?
Flea?
[CdM,Software] Not a bedbug or a flea.
Does the average Morniverser harbour this creature?
[Rosie] The average Morniverser probably does not harbour this creature.
Hint: think bigger.
Is this more likely to be found on something other than a human?
[Dujon] Yes, does not parasitise humans.
Some sort of worm?
[Projoy] Not a worm.
Hint: bigger!
Do the parasite and its host live in water?
[Dujon] Not in water.
A vampire bat?
Dracula? No.
Cuckoo?
[Software] **riotous applause!!** Yes, a cuckoo! But which one?
The first cuckoo of spring?
[Projoy] Precisely so!
My mind went straight to Delius as soon as cuckoos came up.

The next is MINERAL.
Well it would wouldn't it? Dear old Fred.
Is the mineral natural?
Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to ask a question.
Is it metal?
Is it edible/potable?
[Duj] Natural? NO
[GL] Metal? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO * a reflective chuckle from an audient*
Stony?
So close, oh so close :(
[Software] Stony? NO, this falls on stony ground.
Sorry I pipped you. The late worm catches the bird, I guess.
Plastic?
[GL] YES, a form of plastic.
Decorative?
A form of packaging?
[Sw] Decorative? YES, mainly
[Rosie] Packaging? NO
Lycra?
[GL] Lycra? NO *scattered applause*
A clothing fabric?
Ladies clothing oriented?
Latex?
Spray-on jeans of the sort that have lately become fashionable?
[Phil] Clothing? YES
[Software] Ladies'? NO
[GL] Rubber? NO
[Raak] Sprayon? NO
Is this pants/trouser support?
[Duj] Keeps your panties on? NO.
Is it a codpiece?
Though I suppose that could arguably be described as "packaging"...
[blame] Codpiece? NO *audience applause*
Is it used in the undergarment department?
[Phil] Undies? NO
Cricket box?
Not sure if that's undies or overies. Now I'm working on a pun involving overs... Meantime I'm emboldened to guess by the applause, if not by the html, but also aware they'll applaud anything remotely saucy that lot...
[blame] Overies unlikely to be found in a cricket box, shurely? NO.
Rubber?
[Raak] Rubber? NO, definitely synthetic.
*googles* Oh, there is such a thing as synthetic rubber. Anyway, it's not that.
Is the item visible on a normally-clothed person?
a hat of some sort?
[Rosie] I don't know about "normally clothed", but YES, it would be visible on a person wearing it.
[Chalky] Hat? NO.
A condom?
A wet suit?
A superhero's cape?
[Chalky] Une lettre? NON
[Phil] Wet suit? NO *an audient smiles, teasingly*
[Raak] Cape? NO
Hi-Vis jacket?
Is it work-related apparel?
[Software] Jobsworth uniform? NO
[Raak] Job uniform? NO
An umbrella hat?
[Raak] If you want to get ahead? NO.
Is this designed to keep the wearer dry?
Mainly decorative you say ... ?
[Duj] For dryness? NO
[Chalky] Decorative? YES.
Is it made of neoprene?
A substantial fascinator?
[Phil] Neoprene? NO
[Raak] Fascinator? NO
Does this item have any lascivious connections?
Comedy apron?
Is this normally worn above the waist?
[Rosie] Naughty? NO
[Chalky] Apron? NO
[Dujon] Above the waist? YES.
below the neck?
[Chalky] Below neck? YES AND NO.
Scarf?
[Soft] Scarf? NO.
Is it a form of necklace?
... or necktie maybe?
[Dujon] Necklace? NO
[Chalky] Necktie? YES, a form of... *applause*
A noose?
[Raak] Synthetic noose? NO.
Bow Ties are cool
Is it? A dickie bow?
[blame] Not a dickybird from the audience for that, I'm afraid.
Cravat?
[Software] Cravat? NO.
PVC collar for the BDSM community?
,[Phil] Of Human Bondage? NO. As per Chalky's answer, the AotC is a form of necktie, or 'tie', as we Brits call it.
A policeman's clip-on tie?
In that case...
[Phil] Clip-on tie? NO.
A clerical collar?
Not female wear. .. and mainly decorative?
Just so's we're all on the same hymn sheet ...
[Rosie] Dog collar? NO
[Chalky] YES, a form of male (by convention), decorative necktie.
"Bolo" tie?
[Phil] Bolo? X.
One of those hideous things Texans wear?
[Soft] A "bolo" tie, as I believe they're called? NO
A kipper tie?
Is that why they applauded codpiece? For the cod, rather than - as it were - the piece...
[blame] YES! the words on the card are "a nylon kipper tie", and the fish connection was indeed the reason for the applause. *turns the baton around itself twice, folds the end through the gap, passes it through the loop, tightens, and hands it over to blamelewis*
I was fishing from the shoulders of giants...
Yay, whee, oh cripes do I have to do one now?

Errrrr... ANIMAL
A human?
A Duck?
The Duck-Man of Oswestry?
[Projoy] Oh I do hope that's right - we did a project on him at school.
No to all above sadly...
The Ocelot-Man of Oswestry?
The Owl-Man of Oswestry?
Part of a dead animal?
I fear Owestry has no part in it... And it's less part of a dead animal than the whole of a living one.
Mammal?
Fish?
Neither Fish nor Mammal.
Is it a bird?
dingdingding
[Rosie] Yes!
The Duck-Pigeon of Wrexham?
A penguin?
Associated with NE Wales?
The chick of Chirk. I know this part of the world rather well.
[Projoy] We need to have a talk.
[Gusset] Not a penguin.
[Rosie] Not to my knowledge.
Mythical avian?
A well-known phrase or saying?
So much for the Albatross of Acrefair, then.
A species of bird?
[Software] I have reasonably good reason to believe it's a real species
[Rosie] None that I've come across
[Phil] Yes, exactly that.
Does this bird fly?
Likely to be seen in a British back garden?
[Dujon] Shrewd. No it doesn't.
[Rosie] Alas no.
Is it a penguin?
Is it a Kiwi?
[Phil] Still not a penguin :)
[Gusset] Neither a Kiwi
An ostrich?
But not the Oswestry Ostrich, obviously.
Emu?
A dodo?
I know you said living but all the good answers were gone.
[Rosie] Obviously. Also, no.
[Software] U me? (no...)
[Gusset] I can promise you that just fewer than two good answers remain.
Is it extinct?
A bird that is to be found in northern Australia?
Grebe?
A cassowary?
(since Dujon never actually comes out with the guess) :-)
A gold star to CdM. What a morniverse-analytic person you are. :)
[Raak] Nope
[Dujon] Nope
[Gusset] Nope
[CdM] Nope
Rhea?
A caracara?
[Software] Not a Rhea, but Rare! (Not a Ratite, but a rarity)
[Phil] it is not, but thanks for introducing me to a new bird name...
A steamer duck?
Ostrich?
A recap
It's a non-mythical species of bird, flightless and rare.
It is none of the following:
Penguin, Penguin, Kiwi, Ostrich, Emu, Grebe, Cassowary, Rhea, Caracara, Steamer Duck, Ostrich.
A cryptic clue follows
Hidden textFilthy Teletubby!
The Kakapo of Ludlow?
The Po Bird?!
Is it someting along the lines of the Oomegoolybird?
This was posted via Eh-Oh L.
"Something". I have not gone Jamaican.
Penguin?
Projoy has it!
Apart from the Ludlow bit, as far as I'm aware...
[Gusset] A droll lol...
It is indeed the endearingly hopeless Kakapo, which I learned about from Douglas Adams' wonderful Last Chance To See and the later TV series with Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine revisiting the species from the book years later.
[Rosie] I remember that joke, is it from Clue? "very short legs..."

OK, here's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL
France?
Some form of food and drink?
[GL] France? NO
[blamelewis] Edible/Imbibable? NO
Can you wear it?
A gold embossed, leather bound book?
Arty?
Does the animal part relate to humans?
Is this an object once used in war and hunting?
[GL] Book? NO
[Raak] Art-related? NO
[Phil] Animal human? PARTLY/MAINLY, I suppose.
[Dujon] An object? NO. Used in war? ARGUABLY (but probably not that helpful an angle).
[Softers] Wearable? NO.
Is/was there just one of it?
[Raak] Just one? YES is the best answer.
The Earth, and all that is upon it?
A man-made environment?
[Raak] The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yea, all which it inherit? NO
[Rosie] A man-made environment? YES, I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.
The Anthropocene Age?
[Raak] Humantime? NO
Is/was it in space?
[blame] In space? NO (except in the sense that everything is).
A theatre?
Can you see all of it at once?
[blame] Not a theatre.
[Rosie] Can you see it all at once? NO, not from most angles.
(I guess it depends how strict your definition of 'it all' is).
Bigger than a phonebox?
[Software] Much bigger than a phonebox.
Bigger than Ireland?
[GL] Smaller than Ireland.
About the size of Wales?
1 standard unit.
[Rosie] Smaller than a Wales.
Bigger than Kent?
[GL] Smaller than Kent.
A man-made island?
Bigger than Central London?
Within the M25
[Software] Not an island
[GL] Smaller than London, both in M25 and 1965 and 1899 boundaries terms.
er, 1889, I meant.
Bigger than the London Eye?
[GL] Yes, bigger than the biggest ferris wheel.
Is it an organisation?
[blamelewis] Organised? No, not as such.
A specific urban area?
[Rosie] A specific urban area? YES.
Slough?
In the UK?
[Software] Come, friendly bombs? NO
[GL] In UK? YES!
Is this an area which might be loosely termed as an 'entertainment' district?
[Duj] Entertainment? NO.
Is it a City?
Is it in Wales?
Is it a distinctive part of some large city?
[blame] City? NO
[GL] Wales? NO. *audience cries of 'bad luck, old chap'*
[Rosie] Distinctive part? NO.
Is it in England?
Shropshire?
[GL] England? YES!
[Software] Shropshire? YES!
Gotta be Oswestry.
[Rosie] Oswestry, home of the famous duck-man? YES! Please take this very short section of the England-Wales border.
Well, well, I've been Offa'd a Dyke. Oswestry was "town" to my Dad's family from Glynceiriog.

Enough of this rambling - the next object is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.


A human construct?
(Pj) A human construct? - YES.
Particularly linked to a specific human?
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