Vegetable &amp; Animal

The Philosopher's Stone?

The last train?

Sonic Screwdriver?

A legendary object?

(Phil) Nothing so concrete.
(Projoy) Nice try, but alas....
(GL) No, not a latter-day Swiss Army penknife.
(Raak) YES, at least in the Abstract sense.

A particular vision?

(Dujon) YES, something specific.

Hidden text

I am now going to bed

Human-made?

(Projoy) NO, not a human creation though the Abstract indirectly involves humans.

Something that might be studied by scientists?

(Projoy) They might, as an incidental, but it's not the flavour of the AOTC.

Anything to do with steam engines?

(Raak) Vocal traction? Not a scintilla, not a smithereen, not e'een a wisp of steam from a leaky cylinder gland.

Is a lake often associated with this?

(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with lakes.

To do with "The Arts"?

A corno da tirarsi?

A brass instrument that Bach specifies in four of his cantatas, but no-one knows exactly what instrument he meant.

(Phil) Nothing to do with The Arts.
(Raak) Not a little trumpet.

Hidden text

(Welsh) corn bach

Metallic?

(Software) NO, not at all metallic.

A natural feature?

(GL) YES, a natural feature.

Giant's Causeway?

(GL) NO, nothing so hexagonal.

In the UK?

(Raak) Mineral - NO, Abstract - Mainly NO but could be.

Is the AOTC a mountain?

(Dujon) NO, not a mountain.

Are the abstract and mineral two distinct (essentially unconnected) meanings of the AOTC?

(CdM) The two are connected, one literal, one figurative.

Is this a weather feature?

(Chalky) Weather? Broadly, YES. *audience stops texting and looks up*

Does the word 'global' appear on the card?

(Dujon) "Global"? NO.

Is this a weather formation that was given a name?

Confused as always.

(Dujon) YES, it has a specific name but this is not normally regarded as a meteorological term.

Is this a form of wind pattern?

I know that I shouldn't but everyone else seems to have knocked off for the weekend.

(Dujon) NO, not a wind pattern.

Is it associated with deserts?

A dust storm?

(GL) Maybe a stronger asssociation with deserts than other places but a long way from exclusively so.
(Softers) Not a dust storm.

Is this 'object' a form of visual 'trickery'?

(Dujon) Visual trickery? NO, very real.

Associated with water or lack of?

(Chalky) Nothing to do with water, most certainly not.

Solar power?

(Chalky) YES, very much so. *audience goes positively orgasmic*

So is that the AOTC ...?

If it isn't I'm not quite sure where to go from here ..

Ra, the Sun God?

Apollo?

The sun?

(Chalky) NO, not the AOTC, but it's about the sun.
(Phil) NO, not Ra, not a God.
(Projoy) NO, not Apollo.
(Gusset Login) Yes, but specifically....?

halo?

Sunshine?

(Software) Not a halo.
(Projoy) The AOTC is much more specific.

A little ray of sunshine?

(Projoy) Rather more than that, it would seem.

A supernova?

A solar flare?

Solar winds?

(Raak, CdM, Projoy) Nothing as technical as these. An earthbound phenomenon, not a scientific term.

A sunbeam?

(Projoy) Not a sunbeam. This is probably more Art than Science.

Is this something like the sight of a huge cumulonimbus lit up by the setting sun?

(Dujon) A nice image that conjures up but alas NO. HINT: The AOTC is the name of a pub.

The Rising Sun?

(Chalky) NO, but very close. Move on a bit. *audience now hyperventilating dangerously*

The Midday Sun?

Thanks to Google

The Sun and Ferret Droppings?

The Setting Sun?

The Sun and Heir?

(Chalky, Projoy,Raak) Not the Sun and Trouserpress, either, for

Phil has it. The midday sun. Well done. Stay indoors.

As soon as I saw it was in Surrey, it had to be right.

Next, for your amusement and intellectual delight, we shall have:

Vegetable & Animal

Edible?

Well, that's a nice easy start :)

[Raak] Edible? YES

A chicken salad sandwich?

[Projoy] Chix Salad Butty? NO

Pub grub?

[Software] Is the AOTC "Pub grub"? NO, but it could be classified as such

Is the animal red meat?

Scampi and chips in the basket ?

very 70s

Is the vegetable potatoes?

A 'lunch' of some kind?

Scotch Broth?

[Rosie] Red meat? According to the USDA, YES, but in my personal opinion, NO.
[Software] Scampi? NO
[Raak] Potatoes? NO
[Dujon] some kind of 'lunch'? YES, it can be.
[Chalky] Scotch Broth? NO *some encouraging applause*

Some form of burger?

[Rosie] Burger? NO

soup?

Does it contain sausage?

Is bacon involved?

[Raak] Soup? YES *more applause*
[Rosie] Inc. sausage? NO
[GL] Bacon involved? NO * A smattering of applause*

Does this involve ham and peas?

[Dujon] Ham & Peas? YES *Considerable applause*

Pea and ham soup?

Tuj

Does it begin with a...

Ahem.

[Tuj] But 3 hours too late :)
[Raak] Pea and ham soup? YES
Officially, as far as I could find, pork counts as red meat in the USA, and appears to be undefined here. But in my opinion, 3 categories of meat exist :red, white and processed, hence my awkward answer earlier.
*passes a breadstick to Raak*

The next is ANIMAL.

Is bacon involved?

Does this animal consume bacon?

[GL] Bacon is not involved.
[CdM] Does not normally consume bacon.

Is it human?

Alive?

[Gusset Login] Not human.
[Rosie] Alive.

One particular animal?

[Rosie] Um...yes and no.

An animal foetus perhaps?

[Dujon] Not a foetus.

A swarm of bees attacking Topshop?

Is it a parasite?

[GL] Not a swarm of bees.
[Dujon] Yes! It is a parasite.

A louse?

[Software] Not a louse.

Tuj

Does it begin with P?

Does not begin with P.

Is this an internal parasite (as opposed to a tick or its ilk)?

[Dujon] Not an internal parasite.

Is it a Benefit Scrounger?

[Chalky] * laughter and applause* Yes, I suppose it is in a way.

A mosquito?

[Rosie] Not a mosquito.

Was this once used by doctors as a remedy for various ills?

[Dujon] Not a cureall.

Tick?

[GL] Not a tick.

Does it have a relationship with bats?

[Dujon] Not below the phylum level.

A bedbug?

Flea?

[CdM,Software] Not a bedbug or a flea.

Does the average Morniverser harbour this creature?

[Rosie] The average Morniverser probably does not harbour this creature.
Hint: think bigger.

Is this more likely to be found on something other than a human?

[Dujon] Yes, does not parasitise humans.

Some sort of worm?

[Projoy] Not a worm.
Hint: bigger!

Do the parasite and its host live in water?

[Dujon] Not in water.

A vampire bat?

Dracula? No.

Cuckoo?

[Software] **riotous applause!!** Yes, a cuckoo! But which one?

The first cuckoo of spring?

[Projoy] Precisely so!

My mind went straight to Delius as soon as cuckoos came up.

The next is MINERAL.

Well it would wouldn't it? Dear old Fred.

Is the mineral natural?

Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to ask a question.

Is it metal?

Is it edible/potable?

[Duj] Natural? NO
[GL] Metal? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO * a reflective chuckle from an audient*

Stony?

So close, oh so close :(

[Software] Stony? NO, this falls on stony ground.
Sorry I pipped you. The late worm catches the bird, I guess.

Plastic?

[GL] YES, a form of plastic.

Decorative?

A form of packaging?

[Sw] Decorative? YES, mainly
[Rosie] Packaging? NO

Lycra?

[GL] Lycra? NO *scattered applause*

A clothing fabric?

Ladies clothing oriented?

Latex?

Spray-on jeans of the sort that have lately become fashionable?

[Phil] Clothing? YES
[Software] Ladies'? NO
[GL] Rubber? NO
[Raak] Sprayon? NO

Is this pants/trouser support?

[Duj] Keeps your panties on? NO.

Is it a codpiece?

Though I suppose that could arguably be described as "packaging"...

[blame] Codpiece? NO *audience applause*

Is it used in the undergarment department?

[Phil] Undies? NO

Cricket box?

Not sure if that's undies or overies. Now I'm working on a pun involving overs... Meantime I'm emboldened to guess by the applause, if not by the html, but also aware they'll applaud anything remotely saucy that lot...

[blame] Overies unlikely to be found in a cricket box, shurely? NO.

Rubber?

[Raak] Rubber? NO, definitely synthetic.

*googles* Oh, there is such a thing as synthetic rubber. Anyway, it's not that.

Is the item visible on a normally-clothed person?

a hat of some sort?

[Rosie] I don't know about "normally clothed", but YES, it would be visible on a person wearing it.
[Chalky] Hat? NO.

A condom?

A wet suit?

A superhero's cape?

[Chalky] Une lettre? NON
[Phil] Wet suit? NO *an audient smiles, teasingly*
[Raak] Cape? NO

Hi-Vis jacket?

Is it work-related apparel?

[Software] Jobsworth uniform? NO
[Raak] Job uniform? NO

An umbrella hat?

[Raak] If you want to get ahead? NO.

Is this designed to keep the wearer dry?

Mainly decorative you say ... ?

[Duj] For dryness? NO
[Chalky] Decorative? YES.

Is it made of neoprene?

A substantial fascinator?

[Phil] Neoprene? NO
[Raak] Fascinator? NO

Does this item have any lascivious connections?

Comedy apron?

Is this normally worn above the waist?

[Rosie] Naughty? NO
[Chalky] Apron? NO
[Dujon] Above the waist? YES.

below the neck?

[Chalky] Below neck? YES AND NO.

Scarf?

[Soft] Scarf? NO.

Is it a form of necklace?

... or necktie maybe?

[Dujon] Necklace? NO
[Chalky] Necktie? YES, a form of... *applause*

A noose?

[Raak] Synthetic noose? NO.

Bow Ties are cool

Is it? A dickie bow?

[blame] Not a dickybird from the audience for that, I'm afraid.

Cravat?

[Software] Cravat? NO.

PVC collar for the BDSM community?

,[Phil] Of Human Bondage? NO. As per Chalky's answer, the AotC is a form of necktie, or 'tie', as we Brits call it.

A policeman's clip-on tie?

In that case...

[Phil] Clip-on tie? NO.

A clerical collar?

Not female wear. .. and mainly decorative?

Just so's we're all on the same hymn sheet ...

[Rosie] Dog collar? NO
[Chalky] YES, a form of male (by convention), decorative necktie.

"Bolo" tie?

[Phil] Bolo? X.

One of those hideous things Texans wear?

[Soft] A "bolo" tie, as I believe they're called? NO

A kipper tie?

Is that why they applauded codpiece? For the cod, rather than - as it were - the piece...

[blame] YES! the words on the card are "a nylon kipper tie", and the fish connection was indeed the reason for the applause. *turns the baton around itself twice, folds the end through the gap, passes it through the loop, tightens, and hands it over to blamelewis*

I was fishing from the shoulders of giants...

Yay, whee, oh cripes do I have to do one now?

Errrrr... ANIMAL

A human?

A Duck?

The Duck-Man of Oswestry?

[Projoy] Oh I do hope that's right - we did a project on him at school.

No to all above sadly...

The Ocelot-Man of Oswestry?

The Owl-Man of Oswestry?

Part of a dead animal?

I fear Owestry has no part in it... And it's less part of a dead animal than the whole of a living one.

Mammal?

Fish?

Neither Fish nor Mammal.

Is it a bird?

dingdingding

[Rosie] Yes!

The Duck-Pigeon of Wrexham?

A penguin?

Associated with NE Wales?

The chick of Chirk. I know this part of the world rather well.

[Projoy] We need to have a talk.
[Gusset] Not a penguin.
[Rosie] Not to my knowledge.

Mythical avian?

A well-known phrase or saying?

So much for the Albatross of Acrefair, then.

A species of bird?

[Software] I have reasonably good reason to believe it's a real species
[Rosie] None that I've come across
[Phil] Yes, exactly that.

Does this bird fly?

Likely to be seen in a British back garden?

[Dujon] Shrewd. No it doesn't.
[Rosie] Alas no.

Is it a penguin?

Is it a Kiwi?

[Phil] Still not a penguin :)
[Gusset] Neither a Kiwi

An ostrich?

But not the Oswestry Ostrich, obviously.

Emu?

A dodo?

I know you said living but all the good answers were gone.

[Rosie] Obviously. Also, no.
[Software] U me? (no...)
[Gusset] I can promise you that just fewer than two good answers remain.

Is it extinct?

A bird that is to be found in northern Australia?

Grebe?

A cassowary?

(since Dujon never actually comes out with the guess) :-)

A gold star to CdM. What a morniverse-analytic person you are. :)

[Raak] Nope
[Dujon] Nope
[Gusset] Nope
[CdM] Nope

Rhea?

A caracara?

[Software] Not a Rhea, but Rare! (Not a Ratite, but a rarity)
[Phil] it is not, but thanks for introducing me to a new bird name...

cfm

A steamer duck?

Ostrich?

A recap

It's a non-mythical species of bird, flightless and rare.
It is none of the following:
Penguin, Penguin, Kiwi, Ostrich, Emu, Grebe, Cassowary, Rhea, Caracara, Steamer Duck, Ostrich.
A cryptic clue follows

Hidden text

Filthy Teletubby!

The Kakapo of Ludlow?

The Po Bird?!

Is it someting along the lines of the Oomegoolybird?

This was posted via Eh-Oh L.

"Something". I have not gone Jamaican.

Penguin?

Projoy has it!

Apart from the Ludlow bit, as far as I'm aware...
[Gusset] A droll lol...
It is indeed the endearingly hopeless Kakapo, which I learned about from Douglas Adams' wonderful Last Chance To See and the later TV series with Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine revisiting the species from the book years later.

[Rosie] I remember that joke, is it from Clue? "very short legs..."

OK, here's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL

France?

Some form of food and drink?

[GL] France? NO
[blamelewis] Edible/Imbibable? NO

Can you wear it?

A gold embossed, leather bound book?

Arty?

Does the animal part relate to humans?

Is this an object once used in war and hunting?

[GL] Book? NO
[Raak] Art-related? NO
[Phil] Animal human? PARTLY/MAINLY, I suppose.
[Dujon] An object? NO. Used in war? ARGUABLY (but probably not that helpful an angle).

[Softers] Wearable? NO.

Is/was there just one of it?

[Raak] Just one? YES is the best answer.

The Earth, and all that is upon it?

A man-made environment?

[Raak] The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yea, all which it inherit? NO
[Rosie] A man-made environment? YES, I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.

The Anthropocene Age?

[Raak] Humantime? NO

Is/was it in space?

[blame] In space? NO (except in the sense that everything is).

Blamelewis

A theatre?

Can you see all of it at once?

[blame] Not a theatre.
[Rosie] Can you see it all at once? NO, not from most angles.

(I guess it depends how strict your definition of 'it all' is).

Bigger than a phonebox?

[Software] Much bigger than a phonebox.

Bigger than Ireland?

[GL] Smaller than Ireland.

About the size of Wales?

1 standard unit.

[Rosie] Smaller than a Wales.

Bigger than Kent?

[GL] Smaller than Kent.

A man-made island?

Bigger than Central London?

Within the M25

[Software] Not an island
[GL] Smaller than London, both in M25 and 1965 and 1899 boundaries terms.

er, 1889, I meant.

Bigger than the London Eye?

[GL] Yes, bigger than the biggest ferris wheel.

Is it an organisation?

[blamelewis] Organised? No, not as such.

A specific urban area?

[Rosie] A specific urban area? YES.

Slough?

In the UK?

[Software] Come, friendly bombs? NO
[GL] In UK? YES!

Is this an area which might be loosely termed as an 'entertainment' district?

[Duj] Entertainment? NO.

Is it a City?

Is it in Wales?

Is it a distinctive part of some large city?

[blame] City? NO
[GL] Wales? NO. *audience cries of 'bad luck, old chap'*
[Rosie] Distinctive part? NO.

Is it in England?

Shropshire?

[GL] England? YES!
[Software] Shropshire? YES!

Gotta be Oswestry.

[Rosie] Oswestry, home of the famous duck-man? YES! Please take this very short section of the England-Wales border.

Well, well, I've been Offa'd a Dyke. Oswestry was "town" to my Dad's family from Glynceiriog.

Enough of this rambling - the next object is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.

A human construct?

(Pj) A human construct? - YES.

Particularly linked to a specific human?

(CdM) Linked to a specific human? - NO.

Is there a religious theme to the answer?

(Phil) Religious theme - NO.

Clarification/Correction: The "human construct" applies to the wording rather than the idea itself.

Phrase or saying?

(Software) Phrase or saying? - YES.

Wales-related?

Is the animal element specifically human?

(Projoy) Nothing to do with Wales, or its border towns.
(Phil) Animal element human? - YES.

Is there anybody there?

(Rosie) Not a soul.

A fool and his money are soon parted?

I am

(Softers) So true, but not this time.

Hint: The AOTC contains no verb - it's a description.

So that'd be along the lines of a 'Man Mountain' then?

(Dujon) Possibly along those lines, YES.

Duck Face?

(Gusset Login) Not "Duck Face". *some aduience murmurings of approval*

Selfie?

(Gusset Login) Not a selfie.

Is the mineral naturally occurring?

(Dujon) Naturally occurring mineral? NO.

A photo bomb?

atomic or otherwise

Is this something related to some thing people wear?

(GL) Er, not sure what that is, but it ain't the answer.
(Dujon) No relation to anything worn.

Related to "The Arts"?

Something somebody does?

(Phil) The Arts and How They Was Done? NO.
(Software) Not a thing anybody does.

A type of person?

(Raak) Strictly, NO, but we may be getting somewhere. *audience, previously somnolent, now considerably animated*

A fictional character?

A role that someone plays?

(Phil) Fictional? NO. This is about real people.
(Raak) NO, not a role.

A job title?

(Phil) Job title? NO.
Raak's penultimate: The AOTC is not a type of person but describes a type of person.

A Fat Bastard?