Vegetable &amp; Animal

[Dujon] Empty spaces? NO
[Raak] The skin? NO

The blood?

rab

Is it found at one specific location in the body?

The appendix?

[Raak] The blood? YES! Need a little more for the AOTC .. *roars of approval from a very excited audience*
[rab] Specific location? As confirmed above - several locations throughout the body.
[Phil] Appendix? Nah :)

The circulatory system?

[GL] Circulatory system? NO

The corpuscles?

[Raak] Corpuscles - NO - although they are relevant ..

Anything to do with the process of healing?

rab

Red blood cells?

The immune system?

No to all - it's about Blood!

Blood BLOOD

Blood vessels?

A blood donation?

Seeing the word so often on the page, the voice in my head is now making it rhyme with "mood". mood ... blood ... food ... blood ... hood ... blood ... wood .. blood ...

Black pudding, then. So there.

[Software] I think Chalky said yes to "human?", so that would be quite some black pudding if it is right.

[Projoy] Not blood vessels
[Raak] Not a blood donation
[Software] Not a human black pudding.

Remember ... it's all about the blood.

blood plasma?

An armful (very nearly)?

Haemoglobin?

Is this a type of blood cell which has various types?

[Raak] Plasma? Not the AOTC
[Projoy] Not an armful
[Rosie] Haemoglobin? Not the AOTC
[Dujon] 'Various types' is a phrase which should lead to the AOTC ... *audience wakes up*

A rhesus negative?

What took you so long ..?

[Projoy] 'A rhesus negative' is about as close as anyone has come to the AOTC, with the exception of Raak who guessed the 'blood' word. As the AOTC is Rhesus Negative Blood I am thrilled to hand over this gargantuan syringe-shaped baton to do with as you wish ..

It may be just a smear to you, mate, but that's life or death to some poor blighter.

OK, here's another.

ANIMAL

Human?

[Rosie] Human? YES.

Alive?

A particular human?

[GL] Not alive.
[Phil] A particular human.

Died this year?

[GL] Mort MMXIV? NO

A pianist?

An actor?

Died this decade?

Involved in "the arts"?

... or even "the sciences"?

[Dujon] Pianist? NO.
[rab] Actor? YES.
[GL] Mort -10? NO.
[Phil] Arts? YES.
[Chalky] Science? NO.

Male?

British?

[Phil, Rosie] British and Male.

Has he starred in a major science fiction movie?

Died post 1990?

[Raak] SF movie? Pretty sure that's a NO.
[Chalky] Died after the Thatcher era? NO.

Died before 1970?

Died before the Heath era? YES.

Shakespearean roles?

Garrick?

Died before 1960?

#obsessingonthedeaththing

[Raak, Rosie] Not known for Shakespeare
[Chalky] Died since 1960.

Kenneth Horne?

Stan Laurel?

Vocalist?

[GL] Stiff Horne? NO.
[Phil] Resting Laurel? Another fine mess: NO.
[Software] If you mean singer, then NO.

Tony Hancock?

The lad himself

[Rosie] It IS Tony Hancock. Please take this radio aerial (and send a tray of bread pudding to Kuala Lumpur).

Part of my early teenage years. On the Home Service, no less, or was it the Light Programme? Can't remember. Now, what shall I do with this thing? Ah, yes -

ABSTRACT and MINERAL.

The Philosopher's Stone?

The last train?

Sonic Screwdriver?

A legendary object?

(Phil) Nothing so concrete.
(Projoy) Nice try, but alas....
(GL) No, not a latter-day Swiss Army penknife.
(Raak) YES, at least in the Abstract sense.

A particular vision?

(Dujon) YES, something specific.

Hidden text

I am now going to bed

Human-made?

(Projoy) NO, not a human creation though the Abstract indirectly involves humans.

Something that might be studied by scientists?

(Projoy) They might, as an incidental, but it's not the flavour of the AOTC.

Anything to do with steam engines?

(Raak) Vocal traction? Not a scintilla, not a smithereen, not e'een a wisp of steam from a leaky cylinder gland.

Is a lake often associated with this?

(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with lakes.

To do with "The Arts"?

A corno da tirarsi?

A brass instrument that Bach specifies in four of his cantatas, but no-one knows exactly what instrument he meant.

(Phil) Nothing to do with The Arts.
(Raak) Not a little trumpet.

Hidden text

(Welsh) corn bach

Metallic?

(Software) NO, not at all metallic.

A natural feature?

(GL) YES, a natural feature.

Giant's Causeway?

(GL) NO, nothing so hexagonal.

In the UK?

(Raak) Mineral - NO, Abstract - Mainly NO but could be.

Is the AOTC a mountain?

(Dujon) NO, not a mountain.

Are the abstract and mineral two distinct (essentially unconnected) meanings of the AOTC?

(CdM) The two are connected, one literal, one figurative.

Is this a weather feature?

(Chalky) Weather? Broadly, YES. *audience stops texting and looks up*

Does the word 'global' appear on the card?

(Dujon) "Global"? NO.

Is this a weather formation that was given a name?

Confused as always.

(Dujon) YES, it has a specific name but this is not normally regarded as a meteorological term.

Is this a form of wind pattern?

I know that I shouldn't but everyone else seems to have knocked off for the weekend.

(Dujon) NO, not a wind pattern.

Is it associated with deserts?

A dust storm?

(GL) Maybe a stronger asssociation with deserts than other places but a long way from exclusively so.
(Softers) Not a dust storm.

Is this 'object' a form of visual 'trickery'?

(Dujon) Visual trickery? NO, very real.

Associated with water or lack of?

(Chalky) Nothing to do with water, most certainly not.

Solar power?

(Chalky) YES, very much so. *audience goes positively orgasmic*

So is that the AOTC ...?

If it isn't I'm not quite sure where to go from here ..

Ra, the Sun God?

Apollo?

The sun?

(Chalky) NO, not the AOTC, but it's about the sun.
(Phil) NO, not Ra, not a God.
(Projoy) NO, not Apollo.
(Gusset Login) Yes, but specifically....?

halo?

Sunshine?

(Software) Not a halo.
(Projoy) The AOTC is much more specific.

A little ray of sunshine?

(Projoy) Rather more than that, it would seem.

A supernova?

A solar flare?

Solar winds?

(Raak, CdM, Projoy) Nothing as technical as these. An earthbound phenomenon, not a scientific term.

A sunbeam?

(Projoy) Not a sunbeam. This is probably more Art than Science.

Is this something like the sight of a huge cumulonimbus lit up by the setting sun?

(Dujon) A nice image that conjures up but alas NO. HINT: The AOTC is the name of a pub.

The Rising Sun?

(Chalky) NO, but very close. Move on a bit. *audience now hyperventilating dangerously*

The Midday Sun?

Thanks to Google

The Sun and Ferret Droppings?

The Setting Sun?

The Sun and Heir?

(Chalky, Projoy,Raak) Not the Sun and Trouserpress, either, for

Phil has it. The midday sun. Well done. Stay indoors.

As soon as I saw it was in Surrey, it had to be right.

Next, for your amusement and intellectual delight, we shall have:

Vegetable & Animal

Edible?

Well, that's a nice easy start :)

[Raak] Edible? YES

A chicken salad sandwich?

[Projoy] Chix Salad Butty? NO

Pub grub?

[Software] Is the AOTC "Pub grub"? NO, but it could be classified as such

Is the animal red meat?

Scampi and chips in the basket ?

very 70s

Is the vegetable potatoes?

A 'lunch' of some kind?

Scotch Broth?

[Rosie] Red meat? According to the USDA, YES, but in my personal opinion, NO.
[Software] Scampi? NO
[Raak] Potatoes? NO
[Dujon] some kind of 'lunch'? YES, it can be.
[Chalky] Scotch Broth? NO *some encouraging applause*

Some form of burger?

[Rosie] Burger? NO

soup?

Does it contain sausage?

Is bacon involved?

[Raak] Soup? YES *more applause*
[Rosie] Inc. sausage? NO
[GL] Bacon involved? NO * A smattering of applause*

Does this involve ham and peas?

[Dujon] Ham & Peas? YES *Considerable applause*

Pea and ham soup?

Does it begin with a...

Ahem.

[Tuj] But 3 hours too late :)
[Raak] Pea and ham soup? YES
Officially, as far as I could find, pork counts as red meat in the USA, and appears to be undefined here. But in my opinion, 3 categories of meat exist :red, white and processed, hence my awkward answer earlier.
*passes a breadstick to Raak*

The next is ANIMAL.

Is bacon involved?

Does this animal consume bacon?

[GL] Bacon is not involved.
[CdM] Does not normally consume bacon.

Is it human?

Alive?

[Gusset Login] Not human.
[Rosie] Alive.

One particular animal?

[Rosie] Um...yes and no.

An animal foetus perhaps?

[Dujon] Not a foetus.

A swarm of bees attacking Topshop?

Is it a parasite?

[GL] Not a swarm of bees.
[Dujon] Yes! It is a parasite.

A louse?

[Software] Not a louse.

Does it begin with P?

Does not begin with P.

Is this an internal parasite (as opposed to a tick or its ilk)?

[Dujon] Not an internal parasite.

Is it a Benefit Scrounger?

[Chalky] * laughter and applause* Yes, I suppose it is in a way.

A mosquito?

[Rosie] Not a mosquito.

Was this once used by doctors as a remedy for various ills?

[Dujon] Not a cureall.

Tick?

[GL] Not a tick.

Does it have a relationship with bats?

[Dujon] Not below the phylum level.

A bedbug?

Flea?

[CdM,Software] Not a bedbug or a flea.

Does the average Morniverser harbour this creature?

[Rosie] The average Morniverser probably does not harbour this creature.
Hint: think bigger.

Is this more likely to be found on something other than a human?

[Dujon] Yes, does not parasitise humans.

Some sort of worm?

[Projoy] Not a worm.
Hint: bigger!

Do the parasite and its host live in water?

[Dujon] Not in water.

A vampire bat?

Dracula? No.

Cuckoo?

[Software] **riotous applause!!** Yes, a cuckoo! But which one?

The first cuckoo of spring?

[Projoy] Precisely so!

My mind went straight to Delius as soon as cuckoos came up.

The next is MINERAL.

Well it would wouldn't it? Dear old Fred.

Is the mineral natural?

Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to ask a question.

Is it metal?

Is it edible/potable?

[Duj] Natural? NO
[GL] Metal? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO * a reflective chuckle from an audient*

Stony?

So close, oh so close :(

[Software] Stony? NO, this falls on stony ground.
Sorry I pipped you. The late worm catches the bird, I guess.

Plastic?

[GL] YES, a form of plastic.

Decorative?

A form of packaging?

[Sw] Decorative? YES, mainly
[Rosie] Packaging? NO

Lycra?

[GL] Lycra? NO *scattered applause*

A clothing fabric?

Ladies clothing oriented?

Latex?

Spray-on jeans of the sort that have lately become fashionable?

[Phil] Clothing? YES
[Software] Ladies'? NO
[GL] Rubber? NO
[Raak] Sprayon? NO

Is this pants/trouser support?

[Duj] Keeps your panties on? NO.

Is it a codpiece?

Though I suppose that could arguably be described as "packaging"...

[blame] Codpiece? NO *audience applause*

Is it used in the undergarment department?

[Phil] Undies? NO

Cricket box?

Not sure if that's undies or overies. Now I'm working on a pun involving overs... Meantime I'm emboldened to guess by the applause, if not by the html, but also aware they'll applaud anything remotely saucy that lot...

[blame] Overies unlikely to be found in a cricket box, shurely? NO.

Rubber?

[Raak] Rubber? NO, definitely synthetic.

*googles* Oh, there is such a thing as synthetic rubber. Anyway, it's not that.

Is the item visible on a normally-clothed person?

a hat of some sort?

[Rosie] I don't know about "normally clothed", but YES, it would be visible on a person wearing it.
[Chalky] Hat? NO.

A condom?

A wet suit?

A superhero's cape?

[Chalky] Une lettre? NON
[Phil] Wet suit? NO *an audient smiles, teasingly*
[Raak] Cape? NO

Hi-Vis jacket?

Is it work-related apparel?

[Software] Jobsworth uniform? NO
[Raak] Job uniform? NO

An umbrella hat?

[Raak] If you want to get ahead? NO.

Is this designed to keep the wearer dry?

Mainly decorative you say ... ?

[Duj] For dryness? NO
[Chalky] Decorative? YES.

Is it made of neoprene?

A substantial fascinator?

[Phil] Neoprene? NO
[Raak] Fascinator? NO

Does this item have any lascivious connections?

Comedy apron?

Is this normally worn above the waist?

[Rosie] Naughty? NO
[Chalky] Apron? NO
[Dujon] Above the waist? YES.

below the neck?

[Chalky] Below neck? YES AND NO.

Scarf?

[Soft] Scarf? NO.

Is it a form of necklace?

... or necktie maybe?

[Dujon] Necklace? NO
[Chalky] Necktie? YES, a form of... *applause*

A noose?

[Raak] Synthetic noose? NO.

Bow Ties are cool

Is it? A dickie bow?

[blame] Not a dickybird from the audience for that, I'm afraid.

Cravat?

[Software] Cravat? NO.

PVC collar for the BDSM community?

,[Phil] Of Human Bondage? NO. As per Chalky's answer, the AotC is a form of necktie, or 'tie', as we Brits call it.

A policeman's clip-on tie?

In that case...

[Phil] Clip-on tie? NO.

A clerical collar?

Not female wear. .. and mainly decorative?

Just so's we're all on the same hymn sheet ...

[Rosie] Dog collar? NO
[Chalky] YES, a form of male (by convention), decorative necktie.

"Bolo" tie?

[Phil] Bolo? X.

One of those hideous things Texans wear?

[Soft] A "bolo" tie, as I believe they're called? NO

A kipper tie?

Is that why they applauded codpiece? For the cod, rather than - as it were - the piece...

[blame] YES! the words on the card are "a nylon kipper tie", and the fish connection was indeed the reason for the applause. *turns the baton around itself twice, folds the end through the gap, passes it through the loop, tightens, and hands it over to blamelewis*

I was fishing from the shoulders of giants...

Yay, whee, oh cripes do I have to do one now?

Errrrr... ANIMAL

A human?

A Duck?

The Duck-Man of Oswestry?

[Projoy] Oh I do hope that's right - we did a project on him at school.

No to all above sadly...

The Ocelot-Man of Oswestry?

The Owl-Man of Oswestry?

Part of a dead animal?

I fear Owestry has no part in it... And it's less part of a dead animal than the whole of a living one.

Mammal?

Fish?

Neither Fish nor Mammal.

Is it a bird?

dingdingding

[Rosie] Yes!

The Duck-Pigeon of Wrexham?

A penguin?

Associated with NE Wales?

The chick of Chirk. I know this part of the world rather well.

[Projoy] We need to have a talk.
[Gusset] Not a penguin.
[Rosie] Not to my knowledge.

Mythical avian?

A well-known phrase or saying?

So much for the Albatross of Acrefair, then.

A species of bird?

[Software] I have reasonably good reason to believe it's a real species
[Rosie] None that I've come across
[Phil] Yes, exactly that.

Does this bird fly?

Likely to be seen in a British back garden?

[Dujon] Shrewd. No it doesn't.
[Rosie] Alas no.

Is it a penguin?

Is it a Kiwi?

[Phil] Still not a penguin :)
[Gusset] Neither a Kiwi

An ostrich?

But not the Oswestry Ostrich, obviously.

Emu?

A dodo?

I know you said living but all the good answers were gone.

[Rosie] Obviously. Also, no.
[Software] U me? (no...)
[Gusset] I can promise you that just fewer than two good answers remain.

Is it extinct?

A bird that is to be found in northern Australia?

Grebe?

A cassowary?

(since Dujon never actually comes out with the guess) :-)

A gold star to CdM. What a morniverse-analytic person you are. :)

[Raak] Nope
[Dujon] Nope
[Gusset] Nope
[CdM] Nope

Rhea?

A caracara?

[Software] Not a Rhea, but Rare! (Not a Ratite, but a rarity)
[Phil] it is not, but thanks for introducing me to a new bird name...

A steamer duck?

Ostrich?

A recap

It's a non-mythical species of bird, flightless and rare.
It is none of the following:
Penguin, Penguin, Kiwi, Ostrich, Emu, Grebe, Cassowary, Rhea, Caracara, Steamer Duck, Ostrich.
A cryptic clue follows

Hidden text

Filthy Teletubby!

The Kakapo of Ludlow?

The Po Bird?!

Is it someting along the lines of the Oomegoolybird?

This was posted via Eh-Oh L.

"Something". I have not gone Jamaican.

Penguin?

Projoy has it!

Apart from the Ludlow bit, as far as I'm aware...
[Gusset] A droll lol...
It is indeed the endearingly hopeless Kakapo, which I learned about from Douglas Adams' wonderful Last Chance To See and the later TV series with Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine revisiting the species from the book years later.

[Rosie] I remember that joke, is it from Clue? "very short legs..."

OK, here's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL

France?

Some form of food and drink?

[GL] France? NO
[blamelewis] Edible/Imbibable? NO

Can you wear it?

A gold embossed, leather bound book?

Arty?

Does the animal part relate to humans?

Is this an object once used in war and hunting?

[GL] Book? NO
[Raak] Art-related? NO
[Phil] Animal human? PARTLY/MAINLY, I suppose.
[Dujon] An object? NO. Used in war? ARGUABLY (but probably not that helpful an angle).

[Softers] Wearable? NO.

Is/was there just one of it?

[Raak] Just one? YES is the best answer.

The Earth, and all that is upon it?

A man-made environment?

[Raak] The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yea, all which it inherit? NO
[Rosie] A man-made environment? YES, I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.

The Anthropocene Age?

[Raak] Humantime? NO

Is/was it in space?

[blame] In space? NO (except in the sense that everything is).

Blamelewis

A theatre?

Can you see all of it at once?

[blame] Not a theatre.
[Rosie] Can you see it all at once? NO, not from most angles.

(I guess it depends how strict your definition of 'it all' is).

Bigger than a phonebox?

[Software] Much bigger than a phonebox.

Bigger than Ireland?

[GL] Smaller than Ireland.

About the size of Wales?

1 standard unit.

[Rosie] Smaller than a Wales.

Bigger than Kent?

[GL] Smaller than Kent.

A man-made island?

Bigger than Central London?

Within the M25

[Software] Not an island
[GL] Smaller than London, both in M25 and 1965 and 1899 boundaries terms.

er, 1889, I meant.

Bigger than the London Eye?

[GL] Yes, bigger than the biggest ferris wheel.

Is it an organisation?

[blamelewis] Organised? No, not as such.

A specific urban area?

[Rosie] A specific urban area? YES.

Slough?

In the UK?

[Software] Come, friendly bombs? NO
[GL] In UK? YES!

Is this an area which might be loosely termed as an 'entertainment' district?

[Duj] Entertainment? NO.

Is it a City?

Is it in Wales?

Is it a distinctive part of some large city?

[blame] City? NO
[GL] Wales? NO. *audience cries of 'bad luck, old chap'*
[Rosie] Distinctive part? NO.

Is it in England?

Shropshire?

[GL] England? YES!
[Software] Shropshire? YES!

Gotta be Oswestry.

[Rosie] Oswestry, home of the famous duck-man? YES! Please take this very short section of the England-Wales border.

Well, well, I've been Offa'd a Dyke. Oswestry was "town" to my Dad's family from Glynceiriog.

Enough of this rambling - the next object is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.

A human construct?

(Pj) A human construct? - YES.

Particularly linked to a specific human?

(CdM) Linked to a specific human? - NO.

Is there a religious theme to the answer?

(Phil) Religious theme - NO.

Clarification/Correction: The "human construct" applies to the wording rather than the idea itself.

Phrase or saying?

(Software) Phrase or saying? - YES.

Wales-related?

Is the animal element specifically human?

(Projoy) Nothing to do with Wales, or its border towns.
(Phil) Animal element human? - YES.

Is there anybody there?

(Rosie) Not a soul.

A fool and his money are soon parted?

I am

(Softers) So true, but not this time.

Hint: The AOTC contains no verb - it's a description.

So that'd be along the lines of a 'Man Mountain' then?

(Dujon) Possibly along those lines, YES.

Duck Face?

(Gusset Login) Not "Duck Face". *some aduience murmurings of approval*

Selfie?

(Gusset Login) Not a selfie.

Is the mineral naturally occurring?

(Dujon) Naturally occurring mineral? NO.

A photo bomb?

atomic or otherwise

Is this something related to some thing people wear?

(GL) Er, not sure what that is, but it ain't the answer.
(Dujon) No relation to anything worn.

Related to "The Arts"?

Something somebody does?

(Phil) The Arts and How They Was Done? NO.
(Software) Not a thing anybody does.

A type of person?

(Raak) Strictly, NO, but we may be getting somewhere. *audience, previously somnolent, now considerably animated*

A fictional character?

A role that someone plays?

(Phil) Fictional? NO. This is about real people.
(Raak) NO, not a role.

A job title?

(Phil) Job title? NO.
Raak's penultimate: The AOTC is not a type of person but describes a type of person.

A Fat Bastard?

A jobsworth?

(Software) Not a Fat Bastard.
(Raak) Not a jobsworth.
It's figurative - see the original definition.

Is this something one would be pleased to be described as?

(Raak) A nice description? Someone described thus may well say yes, but the vast majority, no.

Is the mineral metal?

Trying different line of attack...

(Phil) Is the mineral metal? YES.

Man of iron?

(Software) Not Man of Iron, nor Thatcher. Try just a little further up the Periodic Table.

Is it related to Polonium?

(Gusset Login) Polonium? NO. Not that far up the Periodic Table, nothing like it.

copper?

(Phil) Copper? YES, but not solely.

Bronze Age Man?

(Phil) Bronze Age Man? NO.

Brass neck?

(Software) Damn cheek, but the right answer! A Brass Neck it is. I hand you the brazen stick.

Gosh, I must get out the Brasso.

Now what have we here? The laser display board is showing the audience and the players are getting the clues:

This time it is ANIMAL

An individual?

A human?

Living?

Multi-YES!

In the entertainment industry?

Female?

[Raak] NO, would be the right answer
[GL] NO

Involved in politics?

[GL] In a way, YES.

Seen on TV?

Billy Bragg?

[Chalky] oh YES
[Pro} NO

In charge of a programme?

A presenter on current affairs?

[Rosie] NO
[Raak] NO

A comedian?

Anything to do with sport?

[Rosie] NO
[Raak] NO

An actor?

A peer?

[Phil] Not as such, NO
[Raak] NO

Something to do with 'reality TV'?

[GL] Big Brotherism? NO

Someone's side-kick?

[Rosie] Subordinate? NO very much his own man

Jeremy Clarkson?

Host of a TV programme?

[Raak] Wheel Spheel? absolutely NO
[Phil] Still not a TV presenter NO

known primarily for tv work?

Host of tv programme is not necessarily the same as in charge of one, or a news presenter.

[Phil] forget tv as a main issue NO

Involved in "the Arts"?

A scientist?

[Phil] arty farty? NO
[Rosie] Boffin? NO

Part of the financial world?

A doctor?

[Rosie] Wheeler dealer? NO
[cfm] Dr Whom? NO

Is the TV presence of primary importance?

[Rosie] NO not really but it is of some interest

Well-known primarily in the (still) United Kingdom?

[cfm] NO, pretty well known worldwide I'd say

Recap:
male, well known, not especially TV oriented, not an actor or a presenter but (clue) newsworthy.

[cfm] NO, pretty well known worldwide I'd say

Recap:
male, well known, not especially TV oriented, not an actor or a presenter but (clue) newsworthy.

A tycoon?

[Rosie] NO.

A musician?

[cfm] NO

Journalist?

You forgot to mention 'vague link to politics' in the recap.

[GL] Horrah! YES

Works for the BBC?

Mainly journalises for newspapers?

Piers Morgan?

[Rosie] NO
[Projoy] YES
[GL] Smarmy? NO

Would he be an ex-pat Australian?

[Duj] wizard of Oz? YES now we are cooking with gas!

Clive James?

[Phil] That Oz? NO

Not Rupert sodding Murdoch?

[Rosie] Absolutely NOT! - NO

John Pilger?

[Rosie] Not him either, but stick with the Oz theme. NO

Does this chap have a surname which is also a common given name?

[Duj] Daily Telegraph top 10 boys names? NO

Peter Greste?

Mark Austin?

[Phil] PG? NO
[Chalks] MA NO stick with the Oz theme

Aged over 50?

Leftish tendencies?

Regularly published in a UK Newspaper?

[Phil] > 50? NO
[Rosie] Red under the bed? YESish
[GL] Regular contributor? NO

Given your emphasis on OZ: Was this person involved with the OZ magazines?

Clarification: Oz = Australian. Anyway, the AOTC is under 50

Is this ex-pat Australian now based in the UK?

Richard Flanagan?

[Phil] In the UK? Well, technically, NO (but ponder on that)
[GL] had to Google him NO

Oh, it'll be that moron Julian Assange then, is it?

[Phil] That moron? - YES!

I didn't think that this would have taken so long, never mind, I now hand over the leaky baton to Phil!

Ithangyew, Software! Indeed, I think we could have got there earlier with the right questions. So lets be pressing on with

Animal

Human?

[Software] Human? YES

Alive?

[GL] Alive? NO

Died this century?

Begins with P?

Male?

Western?

Entertainer?

[Raak] 21st century death? NO
[Tuj] P-prefix? NO
[Rosie] Male? YES
[pen] Western? YES (unless you mean in the John Wayne sense)
[GL] ENtertainer? NO

Died before 1950?

[GL] Dead pre 1950? YES

Died before 1850?

Political connection?

[GL] Dead pre 1850? NO
[Software] Political connection? YES-ish

A scientist?

[Raak] Scientist? YES-ish, again

Was he an American inventor?

[Dujon] US Inventor? NO

A non-American Inventor?

Just to cover all bases.

Pre WWII?

German?

[GL] Any other inventor? NO
[Software] pre WWII? Yes
[Raak] German? NO

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?

[Software] Sir A C Doyle? NO

Lewis Carroll?

[Rosie] Lewis Carroll? NO

72 hours without a question.

Time for a quick summary: A non-German western man who died between 1850 and 1939. Minor scientific and political connections. Neither an inventor nor an entertainer. Neither Arthur C Doyle nor Lewis Carroll. In addition, neither his Christian name nor surname begins with P.
On reflection I may have understated his scientific side, but would not call him a scientist.

Was he famous for something other than science and politics?

[GL] Famous outside of Science and Politics? YES *audience awakens from a short snooze*

Known as a philosopher?

Was he a neurologist?

[Raak] Known as a philosopher? NO
[Dujon] Do. neurologist? NO

A strong connection to medicine?

[GL] Strong connection to medicine? YES *some applause*

Louis Pasteur?

[Rosie] Pasteur? NON

Writer?

Was he a native English speaker?

(Yes, Americans and Australians count in this category don't be mean)

[gil] Writer? YES (be careful)
[GL] Native Anglophone? YES

Fiction?

[gil] Fiction writer? NO

British cinematic connection?

[Software] British cinema connection? YES, but only rather tenuously

A week since the last summary

So, all the previous summary plus: he has a strong connection to medicine and is a native English speaker who has written non-fiction works, has a rather tenuous connection to British cinema, is a native English speaker, and not Louis Pasteur, a philosopher or a neurologist. Other than "Western" we still don't know what nationality he is!

Canadian?

[GL] Canadian? NO

Scottish?

[GL] Scottish? YES *More Applause*

Dr Livingstone, I presume...

[gil] Correct. And have a bonus point for the question I was hoping to be asked.

A, V, M, a combination of these, or A

Begins with P?

Smörgåsbord?

[tuj] Doesn't begin with P
[Raak] not sm... what you said

A Scottish 'dish'?

[dujon] not a Scottish dish

Edible?

A collective noun?

Edible? While some varieties of this object are edible, the majority are not. It would mislead you to follow that line.
A collective noun? No. A noun? Yes.

Is the animal part a reptile?

[Dujon] The object on the card may be constituted from one or a number of components, one of which might conceivably be reptilian, though it's unlikely. Equally, another meaning of the above-mentioned object may be abstract. You may therefore assume that the object on the card is general rather than specific. Hope that helps. Actually, I once heard a team on the radio deduce this object in 20 questions to which the answers were restricted to Yes or No.

A work of art?

[Phil] Not a work of art, though I suppose someone could construe a particular example of this object as one. But the general run of objects like this have relatively mundane purposes.

An elephant's foot umbrella stand?

A Ball?

[Software] .... Almost...
[Gusset Login] You Win! Well done.

[Software] .... Almost...
[Gusset Login] You Win! Well done.

Double keypress glitch... Sorry

Next is MINERAL

Metallic?

[gil] Metallic? - No.

Solid?

[Raak] Solid? - No. (Assuming room temperature)

Liquid?

[Phil] Liquid? - No. (Assuming room temperature)

Would the liquid form of this element be rather nippy?

Part of the atmosphere?

[Dujon] Melting point more than 10 degrees Celsius lower than water? - Yes
[Rosie] In the atmosphere? - Yes, but probably not naturally to any great extent.

One of the rare gases?

[Raak] Rare/Noble gas? - No

CFCs?

Methane?

Flatulo ergo sum.

[Software] CFCs? *A smattering of applause* - No
[Rosie] Methane? - No

ozone?

Carbon dioxide?

[gil] ozone? - No
[Raaak] CO2? - No

helium?

Does it have a smell?

[gil] He? - No.
[Rosie] Smelly? - Yes.

Butane?

Hydrogen sulphide?

[Software] Butane? - No.
[Rosie] Hydrogen sulphide? - No.

Is this an NH compound commonly used in fertiliser and cleaning products?

[Dujon] NH? - No. Compound? - No. Commonly used in fertiliser and cleaning products? - Yes and No.

Chlorine?

[gil] Cl? - Yes. Have a baton made of purest chlorine. (Best hold your breath for a bit).

Abstract

Phrase or saying?

An emotion?

Begins with P?

Phrase? No
Emotion? Yes
Begins with P? Yes

Do some people suffer attacks of this for no obvious reason?

Panic?

Anything to do with fear?

Rosie wins. Raak a close second.

(Forgot to mention that Dujon was third. That was more like an attack of mass telepathy than an AVMA round)

Right then, it's ABSTRACT

Justice?

Is this usually a good thing?

(GL) Justice? NO
(gil) To most, YES, but in moderation.

Christmas Cheer?

(GL) Christmas cheer? NO.

Connected with the current season?

An emotion?

(Raak) Advent? NO. (nor any other season)
(Phil) An emotion? NO.

A condition, like peace?

(gil) A condition, such as peace. NO

An attribute, such as speed?

(gil) An attribute? YES, I'd say it is.

A skill?

Is the attribute associated with human beings?

(cfm) A skill? Not as such, but you may need it to bring this about.
(gil) A human attribute? NO.

Existence?

rpm?

(gil) Existence? Rather less all-encompassing, so NO
(GL) The angular velocity of Resale Price Maintemamce? Sorry, but NO.

... stumped.

A sense?

(Phil) A sense? NO, but you need one of the senses to appreciate this.

A sound?

(Phil) A sound? YES.

The sound of one hand clapping?

Anything to do with steam engines?

(GL) Monochiral applause? NO.
(Phil) Steam engines? NO, although this has been mistakenly attributed to some of them by some writers. Hint I have another great interest.

AOTC is one word, a noun.

Thunder?

The sound of a trombone?

Music?

(Phil) Good guess, but alas WRONG.
(Raak) NO, not the 'bone.
(GL) Music? Well, actually, NO *audience now hyperventilating*

A whistle?

(Phil) A whistle? NO. (nothing to do with steam locos)

"Music" is not the AOTC, but.....

A Fanfare?

(GL) NOT a fanfare.

Muzak?

Melody?

(GL) Muzak? NO.
(gil) Melody? NO.

Jazz?

(Phil) NOT jazz, but heavily related.

Does this noun also describe animal droppings?

Sorry I'm late. The train was delayed.

(Duj) Can't quite see what you're getting at, but NO. molto con cowpat.

Blues?

A particular chord?

(GL) - NO, not the Blues.
(Raak) NO, not as particular.

Improvisation?

Is it a specific piece of music?

(Phil) Not improvisation.
(GL) Not a specific piece of music.

A musical form?

(Raak) A musical form? Strictly speaking NO, but that is in some ways misleading. Call it a feature.

A glissando?

(Phil) A glissandOOOOOoooooo? NO, but you're in the right area.

A trill?

crescendo?

(Raak) NOT a trill.
(gil) NOT a crescendo.

AOTC is one word.

Rhythm?

(Raak) Rhythm? You're getting very close.

Pitch?

Tempo?

(Phil) NOT pitch.
(GL) NOT tempo.
Not all music has the AOTC.

Swing?

(Raak) NOT swing, but swing often has this.

Syncopation?

(Phil) YES! Sin-coper-shone it is. Take this rather confused conductor's baton and proceed strictly alla marcia to The Next Object.

Ooh, a magical music stick

OK, for today's new guess-target, I am going to opt for:

Abstract and Animal

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?

Human?

Santa?

[GL] Rudoplh? NO. Although I wish I had done that now.
[Rosie] Human? YES
[Raak] St Nick? NO

Currently topical?

[Rosie] Topical? NO ... apols for the delay. And happy Christmas

Female?

[GL] Female? YES

Holder of an office?

[Rosie] Office-holder? NO

Alive at this moment?

Fictional?

A witch?

[Rosie] Alive at this moment? NO (although see below)
[GL] Fictional? YES
[Raak] A witch? NO

Did she have a few friends who were small in stature?

Did she once throw a metal bar torn off a street light at a talking lion?

Did she die in the work of fiction for which she is best known?

[Dujon] Friend of little people? NO, at least no more or less than anyone else, on average, I would surmise.
[Raak] Talking-lion-abuser? NO (I'm pretty sure that would have been mentioned, if she had)
[GL] Dead in fiction? NO

Is she best known for appearing in a film?

[GL] Best known as a film role? The answer would be different depending on whom you asked. For me it's a NO

Did she first appear in a book?

Was she created before July 12th 1956?

Raak - first in a book? YES
GL - Pre 12/7/56? YES

A child?

A children's book?

[Rosie] A child? NO
[Raak] Children's book? NO

Is she the title character of the book?

[GL] Title character? NO

A literary character?

[Rosie] Literary? YES

Nineteenth century?

A correction

[Rosie] On reflection "literary" can be taken by some people to mean "from great works of 'Literature'", although I don't know how one would define them. The AotC is a character from fiction, and I have seen her mentioned as a "literary character", although I wouldn't rate the "literature" as "Literature", but some probably would. In all, she's a character from a book or books.

[gil] C19? YES, but not exclusively.

Was the book in English?

Mrs Hudson?

[Raak] In English? YES
[GL] Mrs Hudson? When one has eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, is indeed Mrs Hudson. CORRECT. Congratulations!

Hmm... OK, next up is: ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.

Is the animal connection human?

[Phil] Human? - No.

Is it a characteristic of a particular animal?

A fictional animal?

[Rosie] A characteristic of a particular animal? No, but there is a connection.
[Phil] Fictional animal(s)? Yes

Mammalian?

[Knobbly] Mammals? Not primarily but some.

Do they talk?

Is it the cast of a particular childrens' book?

[Raak] Talking animals? Thankfully, No.
[Dujon] Cast of a particular children's book? No.

Do such animals also exist (or have they) in the real world?

[Raak] Real animals? Yes. (Or at least something similar in most cases)

Native to UK?

[Software] Native to UK? Some might be, others certainly aren't.

The story so far...

Fictional animals of multiple species almost all of which are non-mammalian and in as far as they can be identified, are probably based on real animals but not UK natives (probably). They are not from a children's book and they don't talk. The character of the animals is important but is not likely to be guessed in a "____ as a [Name of animal]" sense.

Taking a backward step: Did they originally appear in a book?

[Dujon] originally from a book? No but apparently books have been made since (including children's books)

Mythical?

[Raak] Mythical? No.

Bunnyish?

[Software] Non-mammalian bunnies? No.

Earth-based?

[Phil] Earth-based? Yes, but not earth-based versions exist.

Unicellular?

[Raak] Mono-celled? No

Clues

I think everyone is as bored of this as I am. Here are some hints to push the game forward to less boring, more finishing moves.

1. The AOTC is two words. One of these describes the non-mammalian animals and the other is an attribute that sets them apart from the majority of their real world counterparts. The whole is the name of a 21st century abstract that was not originally literature but has since spread to various other media.

2. The mammalian animals are a less well known aspect of the AOTC and except with regard to colour, clearly represent an animal that is common in the UK, US and several other places. The primary animals are less easily identified.

Desert Rats?

Rak

Cat girls?

An alarmingly intelligent species of ostrich

[Phil] Dessert Rats? No (Rats are mammals)
[Rak] Cat Girls? No (Cats and Girls are both mammals)

lizards?

[Raak] lizards? No

Fish?

[Raak] Fish No

Birds?

[Raak] Birds? Yes

Angry Birds?

[Raak] Angry Birds? YES Let me fire this avian baton at you.

**>>PECK<<**

Next: MINERAL

Manufactured?

Metal?

[Rosie] Manufactured.
[GL] Partly metal.

Can you (or I) lift it?

Can we lift it? No, yes, or no, from various points of view.

Unique?

[GL] Unique.

Does it belong to a single person?

[Tuj] Does not belong to one person.

Is it a pyramid?

[Dujon] Not a pyramid.

In UK?

(amusement in the audience) Not in the UK.

Bigger than a phone box?

[GL] Smaller than a phone box.

Could it be called art?

Smaller than a breadbox?

[Rosie] Not art. [GL] Larger than a breadbox.

Is it assembled bit by discrete bit?

[Dujon] Assembled piece by piece.

A triangulation point at some particular place?

[Rosie] Not a trig point.

Does it have a technical application?

[Rosie] Yes, it has a technical application.

A light?

[Rosie] Not a light.

Does it begin with P?

[Tuj] Yes! Yes, it DOES begin with a P!

Kim

Was it manufactured in the twentieth century?

Is it associated with a particular type of geographical feature?

[Kim] Made in the 20th century.
[Rosie] Not associated with a type of geographical feature.

Would it be a product of WWII?

[Dujon] Not a product of WWII.

Oops, my answer to Kim was wrong. On searching out the date of its completion, I find it was not in the 20th century.

A telescope?

[Rosie] Not a telescope.

Philae lander?

And Knobbly scores a hole in one! Have this genuine Rosetta stone. My answer to the weightlifting question is explained by the fact that on Earth, it would weigh about 100 kg, which is more than I've ever bench pressed, but sitting on the comet it's estimated to weigh about 1 gram -- but you can't get there to lift it.

Sorry Tuj, was that where you were heading?
Next up is Vegetable

Is it edible?

Well, someone has to kick it off.

Alive?

Wooden?

Is it unique?

[Knobbly] One letter at a time? No =)

Does it have a practical use?

[Raak]

Hidden text

Measuring weight in g/kg rather than N?

Some catching up to do...

[Dujon] No, not edible (is the least misleading answer, although everything is edible once)
[GL] Yes, alive
[Phil] Yes, wooden *ripple of applause*
[Tuj] Yes, unique (or at least specific)
[Raak] No practical use

Does it live in Sherwood Forest?

Is it unusually old?

Is it a fruit tree?

[Dujon] Not in Sherwood Forest
[Raak] (Back from checking something I probably should have before starting) No, not unusually old
[GL] Not a fruit tree

Is it in the UK?

[Rosie] Yes it is in the UK

A specific sycamore?

[Dujon] Not a sycamore, no

Royal?

Is it a specific tree?

I thought I'd ask in case we were heading in the wrong direction.

Oak?

Why did the internet eat my post twice?

[Raak] Royal connection, yes indeed
[Dujon] A specific tree, yes
[GL] Yes, an oak!
*Audience beside themselves with mild interest*

Oak Apple Day?

[Software] Not the 29th of May... A custom worthy of revival but not really a specific tree

Is it a son/daughter of a famous oak?

That Royal Oak wherein King Charles II hid from the Roundheads?

[Dujon] Do you know, I can't find out if there was any genetic continuity, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't... I'm going to unilaterally change your question and say yes it is a successor to a famous oak
[Raak] Not that Royal Oak, no

Merlin's Oak?

[Phil] Not Merlin's Oak

One of the Tree Council (UK)'s "Great British Trees" in 2002?

[Phil] Not a Great British Tree

In Kent?

[Phil] Not in Kent

An extant oak tree?

Does the royal aspect of the answer arise from a royal planting the acorn?

[Phil] Yes, an extant oak tree
[Dujon] Hmm... Well, the extant oak tree which is the AOTC was royally planted, but the royal connection was already there. I realise that wasn't a yes/no answer

(Although I rather expect the 'planting' was a photo opp holding a spade next to a sapling rather than heeling in an acorn)

Did the planting happen after the invention of photography?

[GL] Yes, photography had been invented. Can't find a photo though...

It's gone a bit quiet, shall I re-cap?
This Vegetable is a living oak tree, which is not itself unusually old, nor is it one of the Great British Trees. It was royally planted (although a royal connection already existed) and is neither the Royal Oak in which King Charles mk.2 hid, Merlin's Oak or in Kent.

Is it in England?

Being an ex-pat for nigh on sixty years this is becoming something of a guessing game to me. It's time to narrow the focus.

[Dujon] Yes, in jolly old England

Is it north of Watford?

[Raak] Yes, north of Watford.

South of Hadrian's Wall?

Mmm,

That was otiose, reading above.

In Yorkshire?

[Software] Yes, south of Hadrian's damp-course, and not in Yorkshire

North of London (Charing Cross, just in case)

[Phil] Yes, north of London (as implied by being north of Watford)

The Midland Oak?

[Raak] Not the Midland Oak
I'm trying to think of a clue that isn't just giving away the answer...

Selly Oak?

[Phil] Not the Selly Oak

The Clue Monster

Hidden text

Try and find out who the royal is

Is the royal Queen Victoria?

[Raak] Not Queen Vic

Is the royal female?

[Phil] She is a female royal

Queen Anne?

Our current Head of State?

A British royal?

[Raak] Not Queen Anne
[GL] Yes, a British Royal
[Dujon] Yes, the oak you could visit now was planted by our current Head of State but I'm not sure how helpful that is, she must have attended many tree plantings in her time... Keep finding out who the original connection was - I reiterate, she is a female British royal who is neither Queens Victoria nor Anne.

The good old late Queen Mum?

[Software] Not the Queen Mother

QE 1?

[Raak] Yes, Queen Liz the 1th

Is there also a direct connection to QE1's sister Mary?

I think the answer must be what you find if you google "Queen Elizabeth I" and "oak", but I'm going to be away a lot in the next few weeks, so I'll leave it to someone else.

[Dujon] Yes, a connection to Queen Mary also
[Raak] You can find the answer that way, yes... Who will do so?

Queen Elizabeth Oak, at Hatfield House?

Absolutely right... you even chose the right Queen Elizabeth Oak (not the one in Cowdray Park). The current tree was planted by QE2 in 1985 on the site of the original tree, beneath which Elizabeth was sat when told that Queen Mary had died and she was now the queen.
I really didn't think I'd chosen a hard one...
I pass Phil the baton, made of exquisitely turned english oak.

Re - hard ones

[Knobbly] It happens. I remember setting Jeffrey Dahmer a few years ago, and was astonished to find no-one knew who he was. He's a household name in our family. But, thanks to Google, and Raak, I've know heard of Hatfield, its house, and its trees.

Mineral, Animal and Vegetable

Human construct?

A town or city?

Does it begin with P?

[Knobbly] Well lasted =)

[Software] Human Construct? Ummm, no, I don't think so (although I've always been rather vague about what "human construct" means).
[GL] Town or city? NEITHER
[Tuj] Pstarted? NO

Bigger than a K6 telephone box?

Is there just one?

Is either the Animal or Vegetable human?

[Software] Bigger than telephone box? YES
[Raak] Unique? YES
[GL} Human? NO

Is it in Britain?

[Raak] In Britain? YES. most definitely

A building?

[Software] A building? NO, although it includes a building or buildings

Is it a region of some description?

Some form of animal sanctuary?

[Knobbly] a region? NO
[Rosie] an animal sanctuary? NO *much laughter*

A farm, then?

[Rosie] Farm? YES, slightly surprisingly

Chalk Farm?

[GL] Chalk Farm? NO

On reflection, my answer to Is the Animal or Vegetable human? could be YES - with a little chuckle from the audience.

A non-fictional real-life farm? (...which we've heard of?)

[Knobbly] YES-ish. You will have heard of it, I expect, but you may not be aware that it functions as a farm.

A royal estate?

Belonging to the Prince of Wales?

[Dujon] Royal estate? NO *audience wakes up*
[Raak] PoW-owned? NO

Belonging to a religious institution?

[Raak] Religious? NO

Is it a tourist destination?

[Raak] Tourist destination? NO, or if it is I'd be surprised

Is this farm maintained by people detained at Her Majesty's pleasure?

[Dujon] HMP-farm? NO

Is it in England?

[Raak] In England? YES

Does anyone live there except the farmers?

[Raak] Non-farming inhabitants? YES

Privately owned?

[Raak] Privately owned? NO *some applause*

Porton Down?

[Rosie] Porton Down? NO

Is it in a National Park?

[Raak] in a National Park? NO, but it is in an AONB

Stonehenge?

[Software] Stonehenge? NO

A similar monument?

A research establishment?

[Software] Stonehengey-type-monument? NO
[Rosie] Research establishment? NO

Some clues from answers already given

"Royal estate" woke the audience up, but it's not privately owned, and not owned by Prince Charles. It includes buildings and farmland, and is in an Area of Outstanding National Beauty in England.

Longleat?

Ah ... just spotted the 'not privately owned' bit. Scrub that attempt please.

The New Forest?

[Chalky] New Forest? NO (and not Longleat either, of course)

In Cornwall?

[Rosie] Cornwall? NO

Another clue

In the Home Counties

Legoland?

Hampton Court?

Aha! NOT a tourist destination eh?

Um, the estate surrounding Hampton Court containing the piggeries and grouse shooting, where tourists never go?

[Software & Raak] Neither Legoland, nor Hampton Court. Nor the estate surrounding it.

The Chilterns?

[Chalky] The Chilterns? NO *huge applause from audience who thought it was all over, for a moment*

The Chiltern Hundreds?

Phli

[Raak] Chiltern 100s? NO *Audience apologises for over-reacting earlier, leading to the thought that "chiltern" is in the answer*

One of the nuclear places near the Kennett valley?.

Is it an SSSI?

[Rosie] One of those nuclear type things? NO
[Chalky] An SSSI? NO, but I think it includes part of one, but I can't be 100% sure.

The Ridgeway?

[Chalky] Ridgeway? NO, but the Ridgeway does pass through it. *Applause, from me for remembering where I've been recently, and from the audience too

Salisbury Plain?

So-called. Actually the very opposite.

Chequers?

... piecing together the clues

Uffington White Horse?

[Rosie] Salisbury Plain? NO
[Software] Uffington White Horse? NO (although I was there the day before I was at the AOTC, in Feb this year)
[Chalky] Chequers? YES - the estate, that is, rather than just the house that lies within. And what splendid timing for me to hand over the leadership of this fine game to you, given that we don't yet know who'll be spending their weekends there for the next five years.

We do now.

Time for an ANIMAL

Human?

A politician?

[Software] Human? NO
[Raak] A politician? NO

Is there just one?

Is it a dog?

A mammal?

Begins with P?

[Raak] Just one? NO
[GL] A dog? NO
[Rosie] A mammal? Yes
[Tuj] Begins with a P? Yes! The latin name.

Is it feline?

[GL] Feline? NO

Orang-utan?

[GL] Orang-utan? NO

Carnivoran?

Generally considered edible in Europe?

Bandicoot?

[Knobbly] Carnivoran? NO
[Phil] edible in Europe? Doubt it .. No
[GL] Bandicoot? NO

Bigger than a toaster?

Chimp?

Regarded as a pest?

Thank you for your patience ..

[Raak] Bigger than a toaster? About the same ... except for the sticky out bits
[GL] Chimp? NO
[Rosie] Regarded as a pest? I don't believe so.

Kept as a pet?

[Raak] Kept as a pet? Not usually but no reason why not ..

Nocturnal?

[Rosie] Nocturnal? YES!

Racoon?

Sloth?

[ GL] Racoon? NO
[Softers] Sloth? No ... but quite a good guess.

A badger?

A pangolin?

[Rosie] Badger? NO
[Raak] Pangolin? NO

Found in the wild in Britain?

Is it arboreal?

[Rosie] ... wild in Britain? NO
[Dujon] Arborial? YES! *audience cheers*

Is it a bird?

Civet?

[Phil] Bird? NO
[GL] Civet? NO

Is its native continent South America?

[Dujon] native of S America? NO

A Primate?

[GL] A primate? NO

Koala?

[GL] Koala? NO. Are they nocturnal?
clue: nocturnal ... arborial... nocturnal ... arborial

Is it native to China?

African Native?

[Knobbly] native to China? NO
[GL] ... or Africa? NO

A chimpanzee?

[Raak] chimpanzee? I refer the honourable gentleman to my reply above ...
nocturnal ... mammal ... nocturnal ... arborial

Hmm... does it fly? - either actually or 'falling in style'

Some lizardy thing like a chameleon?

Phalangeriforme?

[Knobbly] YesYesYesYes! Now just name it.
[Rosie] Not lizardy

[GL] phalangeriforme? Apparently no

I think it's too soon to be my turn again... *I turn my back and feign great interest in that thingummy over there*

Please please release me from this Knobbly! #thoughtitwasgoingtobeaquickie

Pteromyini?

more googling ...

[GL] Pteromyini? Veryvery close - but I believe they are omnivorous.

If somebody doesn't guess this before 0700 BST 27 May 2015 ...

Known for its winged fingers?

[Raak] winged fingers? Yes
... further investigation reveals it can be found in China, although it didn't originate there. (Apologies Knobbly)

answer

It was the Indian Flying Fox (pteropus giganteus) aka Greater Indian Fruit Bat in the Pteropodidae family.

A certain degree of exasperation

Who could possibly have guessed that? In any case all fruit bats are called Eric and come from Guildford.

[Rosie] Not me obviously, though I had a good try at guessing it.

If no one objects, I guess I'll pick up the dropped baton. You have until 10am (BST) 29th May to object

Fire away, GL.

Line

OK. Hopefully a slightly harder one. VEGETABLE

Stevie

A hard vegetable. Is it a turnip?

[Stevie] A turnip (for the books)? - No. *Someone claps briefly*

Celeriac?

Grown for consumption?

Begins with P?

[Raak] Celeriac? - No
[Rosie] Grown to be eaten? - Yes
[Tuj] Begins with P? - Yes

A parsnip?

[Rosie] Parsnip? - Yes.

Good heavens, it's me. In that case it's

ABSTRACT

An Emotion?

(GL) I am disconsolately sad to tell you that it is not.

Weather-related?

Begins with P?

(Raak) Nothing to do with the weather
(Tuj) Begins with P? NO (but it could do).

Phrase or saying?

Is the answer on the card a single word?

(Sofware) Not a phrase or saying.
(Tuj) Single word? YES (plus the indefinite article).

Would it exist without humans?

(Knobbly) Exist without humans? YES.

Is it an action?

(Tuj) Not an action.

Is the indefinite article "an"?

A phenomenon ?

(GL) The indefinite article? NOT "An".
(Software) A phenomenon? NO, not really.

Would it exist without lifeforms?

(Tuj) Exist without lifeforms? YES, it could.

A sound?

(GL) A sound? YES. *audience erupts*

Is it onomatopoeic?

Is this a useful question?

(Knobbly) Unlike a cat, does not on a mat appear. (Shurely all questions are useful).

Whispering?

to kick start this one again

(Software) NO, not whispering.

Is it geological?

A tree falling in the forest?

(Knobbly) Geological? NO.
(Softers) The unseen and unheard tree? NO.

In a desperate bid to do something about the terrifying speed of this one I could mention that the AOTC is connected with an interest of mine, but not steam locos.

Lost for words

Not weather or locos? What does that leave, then? Sex? Beer?

Flattered

(Software) We have met, haven't we?

The sound made by the opening of a can of London Pride?

Oh, yes.

<mode="Lady Bracknell"> A CAN? </mode>. Not the sound suggested.

Oh, all right - a bottle then?

(Software) Not a bottle. Nothing to do with booze.

Astronomy related?

Just popping by.

(Boolbar) Stargazing? NO.

Robin

Is it associated with music?

(Robin) Music? YESSSSS! *audience, previously comatose, now resembles a football crowd whose side has just scored.*

A Flat?

(GL) Not A flat, not G sharp either.

F Natural?

(GL) Not F. (Not a Key).

A wind chime?

(Softers) NO, not a wind chime.

a rhythm?

(Knobbly) NO - not a rhythm. A different aspect of music.

If I may sum up, some

So, an aspect of music which, moreover, would exist without life-forms... Beginning with a consonant which isn't P (but confusingly could be)

Molto adagio

(Knobbly) Orl krekt.

The blistering pace of this one

It's a musical term, found also in ordinary speech.

Is the AOTC an italian term?

Is there anybody else out there?

(Knobbly) Italian? YES, it certainly is.

Piano?

(Softers) Piano? NO.

Fortisomo?

(Softers) ff? NO, but you're getting there.

Allegro?

Not the Leyalnd version - oh, no.

(Softers) Allegro? NO. The AOTC is not an adjective.

Presto?

(Softers) Even faster? NO. Presto is an adjective. I dunno - man of your calibre.

Intermezzo?

(Knobbly) Not an intermezzo. The AOTC is usually abbreviated.

Ah, in that case is the abbreviation 'cresc.'?

YAY, it be that. Say it again, louder. KNOBBLY is the winner. Take this conductor's baton and whack it on the music stand louder and louder until everyone else has woken up.

Actually I was trying not to win by not giving the AOTC, but since you've given me this baton I may as well wave it about a bit...
OK, this is hopefully an easy MINERAL.

Metal?

(Rosie) Not a metal

A manufactured object?

Solid?

(Rosie) Not manufactured
(GL) Solid, YES.

Something dug up from the earth?

What's mined is yours...

(Rosie) No, not dug up.

Found lying around?

(Software) Lying around? I'm going to go with no... Although I'm not sure how helpful or right that is

Does it come from space?

Is it unique?

(Raak) Extra-terrestrial? No
(Gussy[if I may call you that]) The one-and-only? YES (or at least, the AOTC is specific)

A lake?

A geographical feature?

(Rosie) No, not a lake but...
(Software) YES, a geographical feature

Bigger than the Isle of Wight?

Smaller than the Isle of Wight?

An area of sea-water?

Ayres Rock?

(Raak & GL) Smaller than IoW in area, which was surprisingly hard to find out. Strangely couldn't find it anywhere and had to work it out myself.
(Rosie) Not sea-water
(Software) Not Ayer's Rock

In the Northern hemisphere?

(Tuj) Not Northern hemisphere, no

Zambesi Falls?

A Mountain?

[Rosie] I don't believe the falls or an area of sea water would count as solid.

(Rosie) Zambezi Falls? No
(GL) YES, a mountain *applause*

Higher than 20,000 ft (6096 m)?

Everest?

(Rosie) Not higher than 20,000 ft
(GL)Not Everest

Shorter than 1,000 ft?

Kilimanjaro?

Lurkers R Us

(GL) Not shorter than 1,000ft
(CdM) Not Kilimanjaro

In Africa?

(Rosie) Not African

Vinson Massif?

A volcano?

(GL)Vinson Massif- Is he? I mean, no
(Rosie) A volcano? YES. *Audience erupts...*

Near the equator?

Etna?

(Rosie) Not near the equator (for any sensible value of 'near')
(Software) Not Etna

Calbuco, Chile?

(Rosie) Not Calbuco

Erupted in the last 100 years?

(Raak) YES, erupted in last 100 years

Puyehue-Cordón Caulle?

(GL) Puy-what-you-said - no

On a small island?

(Rosie) I wouldn't call it a small island, no.

Mt Erebus?

(Rosie) Not Mt Erebus

Erupted in 1956?

(Raak) 1956 eruption? Not as far as I can find out

In Antarctica?

(Rosie) Not in Antarctica

in the Philippines?

(CdM) Not in the Philippines neither

All right. How about Indonesia?

(CdM) No, but keep going...

One week later round up...

So, it's a volcano in the Southern hemisphere, between 1,000 and 20,000 ft high which isn't near the equator, in Antarctica, the Phillipines or Indonesia. It has erupted in the last 100 years, but not in 1956. It also isn't Mt Erebus or Puyehue-Cordón Caulle...

Did it erupt this century?

Did it cause much death and destruction?

(GL) Erupted this century? YES. (Rosie) Much death and destruction? I'm not sure what the standardised scale of death and destruction is, but I would say no.

In Chile?

(Rosie) Not in Chile.

Caribbean?

(SW) Not Caribbean.

Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean on an island that isn't particularly small?

(CdM) On a not-small island in the Pacific? YES.
I wonder if anyone will disagree with any of my previous answers when the answer is reached?

Pablo

Mt Ruapehu? Or failing that, another Kiwi volcano like Tongarairo or White Island?

(Pablo) Mt Ruapehu? Why, YES. *Wild applause*
Let us rub noses ... Thank you.
Passing the baton to Pablo.

Pablo seems to have buggered orff.

He was in the limerick game yesterday...

I think he's forgotten about this. Maybe a gentle nudge would be in order.

Where are you Pablo?

We're waiting for you

Still waiting

I gave him a gentle oblique nudge then a less gentle more direct one. What does one do, within the bounds of propriety and etiquette? FIIK.

Runner-up?

I think CdM was coming up on the answer... maybe he (?) would like to take over?

Impatience

(knobbly) Somebody ought to. I can't understand why Pablo seems to have gone on the blink. Anybody got his phone number?

well...

I'm not convinced that Pablo is the Pablo we think it is. Or someone (e.g. Gusset Login) typed 'Pablo' by accident instead of their own name, for reasons unknown.

It wasn't me

But, if it gets the game running again, I'd happily pick up the baton if asked.

Fine by me...

(GL) I'm happy for you to pick up the dropped baton, if there are no objections from the floor - it is nearly a month since my round was won...

No objections from this bit of old linoleum so go ahead, GL.

Very well. A new one and it's an ANIMAL

Is it one unique animal?

[Phil] Unique animal? - Yes.

A human?

[Rosie] Human? - Yes.

Living?

British, be damned?

In the news?

[blamelewis] Living? - Yes.
[Software] British? - Yes.
[Rosie] In the news? - Sometimes

Royal connections?

[Software] Royal Connections? - They are not royal.

A performer of sorts?

[Knobbly] Performer of sorts? - Not as such

Politician?

[Chalky] In Politics? - Yes

Jeremy Corbyn?

[Software] The Jez Meister? - No

Male?

[Phil] Male? - Yes

Any legal connections?

[Rosie] Legal connections? - Well, he is in politics. So, of course, there are connections to the law.

Tory?

[Software] A blue-ribboner? - Yes

A Cabinet member?

Minister of Cockney Rhyming Slang - Jeremy Hunt?

[Rosie] Cabinet member? - Yes
[Software] Total Hunt? - No

George Osborne?

As he insists on calling himself.

[Rosie] George "Dramatic Pose" Osborne? - No

IDS?

[Software] Irritable Duncan Syndrome? - No

Michael Gove?

(the MP that keeps on goving)

Sajid Javid?

working through ...

[Phil] Govey? - No
[Software] Javid? - No
Hint: Don't work through, work up.

Not Dave? (Cameron)

[Rosie] Not Dave? - No it's not Not Dave. It is Dave. I don't whether that should count as a yes or a no.

David Mundell?

A fush oo' a wa'er.

Getting a little impatient.

I have internets again! Sorry for the silence.

[Rosie] David Mundell - No, as I said, it's the Dave you guessed it wasn't.

David Cameron?

Software DC? - Yes

Well I am blowed, who'd have thought, so obvious really Eton and all that. Now let me think .....

Ah, yes!

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.

Animals human?

i.e. Not Millwall

[Rosie] people? - YES.

To do with politics?

[Raak] political? probably the right answer is NO

Is the mineral connection water?

Is the vegetable connection wood?

[Rosie] water? - NO * much chuckling in the audience *
[Phil] wood? - NO - well,not directly but it may figure somewhere, not sure that this is actually helpful

To do with mineral resources?

Does it begin with P?

[Raak] ores? - NO
[Tuj] P? - YES one of the three words on the card does. (including the definite article)

Is a liquid involved?

A desert?

[Phil] Liquid? - YES. * chuckling in audience *
[Rosie] Desert? - NO

The Pacific Ocean?

Is it fit for human consumption?

Is the liquid an organic compound?

[GL] Pacific? - NO
[Phil] Drinkable? - YES
[Rosie] Organic? - YES

The petroleum industry?

Is alcohol involved?

[Rosie] Gas? - NO is probably the correct answer but I suppose it could be.
[Phil] Booze? YES * spattering of claps from the audience *

A type of beer?

[Phil] A variety of the brewing process? - NO but certainly involved in the ATOC

A bottle of champagne?

[Rosie] Bubbly? - NO but could certainly be involved in the ATOC

Is the AOTC associated with a particular place?

[Tuj] Localle? - NO

* HINT: the ATOC has 3 words including the definite article *

Is the word that starts with P pub?

[Knobbly] P = Pub? - NO * a smattering of clapping from the audience *

Is the 'p' word = Punch?

[Chalky (welcome back)] P = Punch? - NO * more clapping in the audience *

A type of wine?

[Phil] Cru? - NO * a little more clapping in the audience *

Reprise:
ATOC 3 words including the definite article;
One begins with 'P';
Alcohol of some sort involved.

Does the word "party" appear on the card?

Is it seasonal?

[CdM] Party - YES! * Audience goes wild with applause *
[GL] Seasonal - YES! * Audience now agog with expectation *

The Easter Party?

[GL] Easter? (* wonders why Easter? *) - NO * clapping from audience *

The Christmas Party?

[Phil] Xmas? - NO * audience wild with anticipation! *

The Summer Party?

Keep going, we'll find the right season soon.

[GL] Summer? you seem to have a penchant for the warmer weather - * audience wild with anticipation *

The Dinner Party?

[Phil] Dinner? - NO * audience still on the edge of their seats *

The Hogmanay Party?

[GL] Jock do? - NO * audience cannot believe that nobody has got it yet! *

HINT: There are lots this time of year

I shall be on the plane to the USA in the morning so may not get back online for a day or two.

The Hanukkah Party?

Christmas party has already gone and I'm struggling to think of any other sort that happens at this time of year.

The Office Party?

Ding!

Phil has it. * Hands over the photocopied bum to Phil *

When I was self-employed, the office party was a disaster. I got off with myself and didn't speak to myself for the whole of January. I tried to phone in sick the next morning, but it was engaged every time.

So, onwards and outwards. Your next challenge is

Animal

Human?

Alive?

Male?

Apols for delay

[Software] Human? NO
[GL] Alive? NO
[Rosie] Male? YES

Dead While Male?

Sorry, that was meant to be "Dead White Male?"

Lassie?

[Raak] Are you saying that white people aren't human?

[Raak] Dead White Male? YNY (taking white strictly as a colour rather than race, as humans are not involved)
[GL] Lassie? NO

Fictional?

A specific individual?

Oops, missed that the answer to human was no.

[Rosie] Fictional? NO
[Raak] An individual? YES

a dead male dog?

[Chalky] Dead male dog? NO

Mao Tse Tung?

Died since the start of the 20th century?

The lion shot by that American dentist?

Died in 2015?

Does it begin with P?

HNY!

[Software] Mao Tse Tung? NO, I think he was human wasn't he?
[Raak] died post 1899? NO
[Rosie] Cecil the dentally-deceased Lion? NO
[GL] died in 2015? NO (see also two lines above)
[TUJ] P-something? NO, but HNY to you too :)

Bucephalus?

The only named pre-XX animal that comes to mind.

[Raak] Bucephalus? NO, not that long ago

The last dodo?

[Tuj] Last dodo? NO

a dead male sea creature?

Post AD 1?

[Chalky] DM sea creature? NO
[Software] Post AD 1? YES

Was it a bear?

Was it a bird?

[Raak] Bear? NO
[Chalky] Bird? NO
[Anyone who cares] It wasn't Superman either :-)

Chalky who cares

Was it a mammal?

[Chalky wc] A Mammal? YES

To summarise: A specific non-fictional individual male mammal that died between 1 AD and 1899 AD. It's not a human, a dog, a bird, a bear or a sea creature, and doesn't begin with P.

Did it spend any part of its life in the UK (including territorial waters)?

Was it a horse?

[Raak] UK-resident at some point? YES *some applause*
[Tuj] A horse? NO

Did it live in a zoo?

[Knobbly] Zoo-resident? YES, but not exclusively *more applause*

Trim - the cat who sort of discovered Australia?

Primate?

[Chalky] Trim the cat? NO
[Software] Primate? NO

A domesticated zebra?

Was it killed by a human?

[Raak] Zebra? NO
[Rosie] Killed by a human? YES (or human action, at least)

Wild animal?

[Software] Wild? Originally, YES.

Was it larger than a standard sized Fridge-Freezer?

Was it the last individual of its species?

[Chalky] bigger than a fridge freezer? YES *much applause*
[Knobbly] last of its kind? NO

Ooh, was it an elephant?

Killed by a train?

[Tuj] An elephant? YES *much applause*
[GL] Killed by a train? YES *even more applause

Then it must be Jumbo?

[Chalky] Jumbo the Elephant? YES

One of my favourite animals, simply because the word "jumbo" didn't exist prior to his naming. cf. Little Tich

Here, Chalky, take this pre-1947 ivory baton.

Ooh thanks Phil. Nice one and kudos to Tuj and GL for paving the way.
The next one is ABSTRACT with significant ANIMAL connections

Is it an emotion?

Aha! So there *is* life out there ..

[Rosie] An emotion? NO

Begins with P?

A human concept?

A fictional person?

Art?

[Tuj] Begins with a P? NO ... but ripple of applause can be detected
[Software] A human concept? YES
[GL] A fictional person? YES
[Dujon] Art? What is Art?

Character in a novel?

[Software] Character in a novel? YES *audience erupts into cheers*

Tarzan?

[Software] Tarzan? NO

Kim?

Is the animal connection a dog?

[Software] Kim? NO
[Raak] Animal connection a dog? NO

Does the character have a figurative meaning? e.g. Scrooge

[Rosie] Figurative meaning? NO

penelope

Does it originate in the British Isles?

Human?

[penelope] Originate in British Isles ? YES
[GL] Human? YES

Was the novel written after 1900?

Does the novel title begin with P?

[Rosie] After 1900? YES
[CdM] P word in title? YES
*audience senses a finish and cheers accordingly*

Is anyone willing to guess the obvious, thereby putting themself in the chair for the next puzzler?

Sure. What is it?

Is the character male?

Ronny Heaslop

That's got to be right. Because, seriously, how many non-figurative characters in post-1900 British novels with a word in the title that begins with P can there be?

... giving it all away

[GL] It's a girl
[Tuj] Male? NO
[CdM] Ronnie Heaslop? NO. And the play/novel has two P words.

... and it's linked to Phil's previous solution.

[Chalky] Oh, that's just darling.

Remind me never to play this game again ...

Aw, Chalks, don't be upset.

Frankly this one has stumped me.

Peter Pan?

(Chalky) Memo: Never play this game again.

[Chalky] I hope that comment made sense! If my guess is wrong, it probably just seemed weird (or worse, obnoxious).

with a woo and a hoo

A WINNER AT LAST! Wendy from Peter Pan it is!
Well played Rosie and CdM :)
Here - argue over this wand-shaped baton I nicked from Tinkerbell.

(Chalky) You beast.

And the next object is ABSTRACT

An Emotion?

Is there but a single word on the card?

[Chalky] I think when you said it was obvious, we all backed off presuming it must be obvious to somebody, somebody else...

(GL) Not an emotion.
(Tuj) A single word plus the indefinite article.

A silent P, obviously

Does the indefinite article begin with P?

(CdM) Of course - 's a particle innit.

Is it a human invention?

An expression?

Well done you old bu**er

(Tuj) NO, not a human invention.
(Softers) Essentially NO, but can be used figuratively, just about.

A ghost?

(Software) Not a ghost.

Is it visible?

There's not much to go on so far...

Is it fictional?

(Knobbly) Not visible, though its effects may well be.
(Raak) Not fictional.

I should add, perhaps, that the AOTC has a kind of material connection and that this would normally be thought of as Mineral.

A type of air movement?

(Dujon) Air movement? NO, but it could be said there's a connection, stretching a point.

An unfortunate brush?

(Software) NO, not an unfortunate brush.

Any political connection?

(Software) NO political connection whatever.

Has it always existed as an idea?

Is it bigger than a toaster?

(Tuj) I would say YES.
(Chalky) Could be. Could be any size. Its dimensions in its physical manifestation are irrelevant.

An emotion?

(Software) NO, not an emotion

OK, is it audible?

At last a customer

(Knobbly) Audible? NO, most definitely not.

Iron will?

(Softers) Ferrous (or ferric) determination? NO. It's not a human quality.

An ill wind?

Oh, dear. I am struggling with this.

(Softers) NO, by definition impossible.

Rock solid?

Any chance of a clue?

(Software) Rock solid? NO, for the same reason as before. This is not difficult; in fact there's nothing to it, really.

A vacuum?

(Raak) YES! A total absence of material entities. Now give us something easy FFS.

Vegetable and Mineral, with Abstract connections

Vegetable wood?

Yes, the vegetable is wood.

Is this some kind of machine or device?

Abstract religious?

[Rosie] Not really a machine or device.
[Dujon] Not religious.

Unique?

Is the AOTC the title of some work?

Not the title of a work.

Is the mineral metal?

Yes, the mineral is metal.

Unique?

Not unique.

Does it begin with P?

Does not begin with a P.

Found in the house?

Not typically. That is, the typical house would not contain any of these, and the typical one of these would not be in a house.

Would I be in danger of cutting myself on it?

You cannot cut yourself on one.

Mass produced?

Um...there are rather a lot of these, but I can't find any information about whether they are made on an automated production line.

Used in a sport or game?

Not used in a sport or game.

Do they tend to be found in particular areas of the world?

A fixture?

Not in particular areas of the world.
Not a fixture.

A garden shed?

Not a garden shed. I'd expect those to be fixtures, although I suppose you could put wheels on one and tow it on holiday with you.

Can these things be lifted by one man?

Yes, one man can lift one of these.

That is, any reasonably fit man, not one particular Schwarzenegger.

A barrel?

*cheering* Yes, a barrel. But can you be more specific? Bear in mind the abstract connection.

A Barrel of laughs?

Not a barrel of laughs.

A beer barrel

Specifically, real ale :)

Not necessarily a beer barrel.

A firkin?

Not a firkin.

A biscuit barrel?

Not a biscuit barrel.
Hint: It's not about what's in it ? quite the opposite!

The "?" was supposed to be a "?".

Er, not quite. It was supposed to be a "—". Let's see if that gets through.

Scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Scraping etc.? No, but that's more in the right direction.
The first word is the indefinite article.

A barrel organ?

Perhaps penelope could rustle a Dutch one up.

Not a barrel organ.

Do we have a stuck fermentation of ideas? A sort of barrel, that features in a figurative expression or saying.

A sort of barrel that has fish in it that can be easily shot

OK, that's probably not right.

There's a surprisingly lage number of figurative expressions involving barrels. Fish, for the shooting of, is not the one.

"lage": a synonym for "several", used of a severality that due to attentional bias one experiences as surprisingly larger than 1.

A barrel of laughs?

Not a barrel of laughs. Hint: nor a barrel of anything else!

An empty barrel?

YES! *the crowd's applause is drowned out by a tap on the side of one*

Oh, dear. Being a smartar*e I am now lumbered with the spile-shaped batton.

Let me think. Ah, yes! abstract with strong animal, vegetable and mineral connections.

The sound made by a tree falling in the forest when no-one is present to hear it?

[Raak] NO - abstract but not metaphysical

A fictional animal?

An organisation?

A stock phrase or saying?

[GL] Fictional? - NO
[Rosie] Organization? - YES
[Raak] Phrase or Saying? - NO

Created after 1900?

A governmental organisation?

Based in Europe?

Sorry for delay, have been away.

[Rosie] After 1900? - YES
[Raak] Big Brother? - NO
[GL] European? - YES

A scientific organisation?

[Raak] Scientific? - NO * audience chuckles *

A cult?

An NGO?

[Raak] cult? - NO * some guffawing in the audience * (well, some might say it is)
[Bismarck] NGO? - Mmmm. Tricky, probably NO

The National Trust?

Is it classed as a charity /not-for-profit?

A religion?

[Rosie] NT? - NO
[Bismarck] Charitable? - NO * more audience chuckling *
[Phil] Godbothering? - NO * further tittering *

Do they sponsor a football team?

Does it have its own URL?

The Mafia?

[Bismarck] Sponsorship? - NO
[Raak] URL? Why, YES
[Rosie] Those nice Sicilian gentlemen? - NO

An organised religion, then?

I'm taking a clue from the audience here...

Recapitulons, mes amis...

Post-1900 European company, with pretensions among supporters to be quasi-religious and quasi-scientific, yet not an NGO and not important enough to sponsor the footie. Neither the Mafia, nor their cousins the NT. Links to animal, vegetable and mineral. Hmmmm.

Are they able to ban people from the exercise of their professions?

[Knobbly] Godbothering with form? - NO * Phil ruled that out *
[Bismarck] - Big Stick? - NO

Does it begin with P?

...just to show gratitude for Bismarck's efforts by making a considered contribution ;)

The East India Company?

Do ships enter into this at all?

Eton?

[Tuj] P-ish? - NO (not one to be seen in the AOTC)
[Raak] Bubble? - NO (the right number of words, though)
[Bismarck] - Harbourish? - NO
[Rosie] The origin of our present governing classes? - NO

Is this a real-life organisation, or one that exists only on a screen?

[Bismarck] Real or imagery? - er, YES. * sporadic clapping from audience *

Logical NOR should have been used in previous question. Ahem. Is this an imaginary company?

[Bismarck] Virtual? - NO

Hint: The AOTC has 4 words one being the definite article it exists on screen.

The League of Gentlemen?

Never watched it; only vaguely even heard of it; but it popped into my head after reading over the game so I thought I'd go for an audacious lurker's victory.

[CdM] LOG? - NO

The Great Western Railway?

Is the third word "of"?

[Rosie] God's Wonderful Railway? - sadly, NO
[Raak] of-ly? NO

* audience shuffling *

Is this organisation viewed favourably by the British population?

[Rosie] Favourable to the Brits - mmmm, NO (not lately, anyway)

The European Court of Justice?

[Rosie] ECoJ? - NO * sporadic clapping from audience *

The Arsenal?

[Bimarck] The Gunners? - NO. * audience getting restless *

A political party?

Ah... do I hear a few bars of the prelude to Charpentier's Te Deum?

nights

The European Court of Human Rights?

Well, it IS down the road from me...

[Bismarck] Party? - NO
[nights] ECHR? - NO * a few random claps from the audience *

Was my guess a bit too subtle? Is it the European Broadcasting Union?

[Knobbly] EBU? - NO * audience wakes up with enthusiastic clapping *

Is this a European attempt to celebrate the diversity of culture?

[Bismarck] multicultural? - YES! * audience getting excited *

Musical culture?

[Bismarck] music? - YES! * audience wild with anticipation *

The Eurovision Song Contest?

[Rosie] Tat for the masses? - YES!!!! at last.

Hands over the tacky microphone-shaped baton to Rosie

I could object that the Eurovision Song Contest is not an organisation (whereas the EBU is which is why I went for that), but I wouldn't want to be accused of taking this too seriously.
I also don't want the baton at the moment.
As you were...

Blast! beaten to it. Rosie, congratulations. May your all dihydrogen oxide be changed to dihydrogen dioxide for twenty milliseconds.

Peroxide blonde

(Bismarck) Now you see it, now you don't.

And the next object is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.

Human animal?

(Softers) Human? Humans are involved but essentially NO.

Is it green?

Does it begin with P?

Does it make a noise?

Can I live without it?

Sorry for the delay

(Bismarck) NO, not green.
(Tuj) P? Not in any language I can think of.
(Knobbly) A noise? YES, it must have done.
(Boolbar) Essential for life? NO.

The Llangollen Amateur Vivisectionists' Society! It just came to me in a flash.

(Bismarck) Dee-scission? I'm afraid not.

Fictional?

Fictional?

Oops.

Fictional?

The Big Bang?

Going for an early attempt...

Is it a human invention?

(Raak + Gusset Login) NO, not fictional.
(Knobbly) NO, not the Big Bang.
(Tuj) YES, human, but I wouldn't call it an invention.

A philosophical concept?

(Raak) NO, not philosophical, not a concept.

Does it still exist?

(Bismarck) Still exist? NO.

Associated with a particular geographical locale?

Also, could you clarify an earlier answer? When Boolbar asked "Can I live without it?", was your answer of "NO" directed to that question or your contrarily-rephrased "Essential for life?"?

(Tuj) Point taken. The rephrasing had got a bit out of hand. The answer to "Can I live without it?" is YES. As for your actual question, the answer is YES, followed by *audience animation*.

Todo with the planet taken as a whole?

Animal bit-were they raised for food?

(Raak) NO, not to do with the whole planet.
(Bismarck) For food? YES.

May not be able to have another guess for a while, so I'll try bovine spongiform encephalitis.

Did it exist for a specific period of time?

[Rosie] An animated audience, eh? At least no people were harmed in the making of assistance-giving reactions =)

(Bismarck) Mad cow? Now who am I thinking of? I'm afraid the answer is NO.
(Tuj) YES. *even more audience animation*

Powdered egg?

Some sort of public event?

(Softers) Powdered egg? Good stuff - it wasn't even on the ration IIRC. But NOT the answer.
(Raak) A public event? Certainly not intended as such though most of the public would be aware of it.

Cheese rolling?

Cheese rolling? Er, NO.

Did it happen in the UK?

(Bismarck) In the UK? Essentially NO, though I suspect some elements of it did.

A global event?

(Softers) NO, not global

was the specific geographic locale in Europe?

(Bismarck) In Europe? Well, YES, sort of.

Confusticated... has a 'specific' locale (++audience animation) 'sort of' in the European continent and 'sort of not' in the UK. Ireland?

Deconfustificationment

(Bismarck) Specific locale, YES. European continent? NO, but a strict geographer may disagree. Ireland? NO. If I say much more I may as well tell you the answer.

a political event?

Thanks, Rosie. Let's try for the timing - did this happen within your living memory?

(Raak) Political? YES.
(Bismarck) Within my living memory? YES.

an event relating to the EU?

(Raak) NO, not related to the EU.

Did it happen in the previous century?

Suez crisis?

in 1989?

(Bismarck) 20th century? YES.
(Software) NO, not the Suez crisis.
(Raak) In 1989? NO.

1970's?

(Bismarck) 1970's? Partly, YES.

Were fish involved?

(Bismarck) Fish? YES, they were indeed.

Did Iceland win at least 3-0?

(Bismarck) YES. That, I recall, was the score.

"The Phantom Menace", the cut that left the fish-slapping dance scene in?

Stop taking the piss

(Bismarck) NO, it wasn't that one.

The library, you say?

all right, all right... it's the Cod Wars.

It is, of course, the COD WARS. Well done. Take this giant baton-shaped fish finger and proceed to the next object.

Well, nothing for it now (gulp)...
The next object is MINERAL with a side order of location, as there may be multiple instances.

man-made?

[Raak] YES.

Metal?

[Raak] NO, not so as you'd notice

Does it begin with P?

fffrrttt

Mainly stone?

[Tuj] NO, not in any language I am aware of oblig.
[Raak] YES

On Earth?

[Raak] Terrestrial? YES.

Habitable?

[Tuj] NO.

underground?

In Europe?

[Raak] buried? NO
[Tuj] EU-ish? YES

Arc de Triomphe?

[Software] Etoile? NO.

Is it in an urban area?

[Rosie] Downtown? YES.

A statue?

A tourist attraction?

[Rosie] YES
[Raak] YES

Oh and in general their is the odd approving noise from the audience

Nelson's Column?

[Raak] YES - audience cheering but then subsiding as that's the main dish, but the "side order" needs to be found too.

The actual statue of Nelson?

[Raak] Trafalgar Square? NO, that would be too easy... Some applause from the right wing of the audience.

The Fourth Plinth?

^[Software] NO.

The Trafalgar Square lions?

[Knobbly] Felines? NO.

Hint - Nelson was quite well regarded in many placed.

In Menorca?

Is it in London?

[Software] Balearics? NO.
[Raak] City? NO.

So, the AOTC isn't in London, but the audience cheered Nelson's column...

Is it in Scotland?

[Boolbar] North o' the border? NO. A few claps from the audience, though.

Geordieland?

[Software] Tyne? NO

Ireland?

[Gusset] YES. Audience sensation, as they say.

Then it is surely Nelson's Pillar.

Audience goes wild for [Raak] Nelson's pillar is correct! Well done sir. Please take this green pillar-shaped baton and proceed with the next round.

Remind me never to run a relay with Raak, won't you :-)

Oh, ah. Um. The next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.

Snoopy's friend Woodstock?

Not Woodstock.

A wildlife programme?

Does it begin with P?

[Rosie] Not a wildlife programme.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P. (slight oohing sounds from audience)

Is the animal non-human?

(Some laughter) Not non-human.

Is the non-non-human not male?

Is the non-non-human principally famous for literary appearances?

[B] Might or might not be male.
[G] Not literary appearances, no.

Does the Abstract refer to the title or role of the non-non-human of indeterminate sex?

Be there a sporting connection?

[R] (polite applause) Yes, the Abstract has to do with the title or role (but there is more to the Abstractness than that).
[T] No sporting connection.

Was this known of in the year 1900?

Was this known of in the year 1900? One could take different interpretations, about which I can imagine philosophers of language debating endlessly. I shall interpret the words on the card as implying the answer: Yes.

Would you expect to find this mentioned in a book of World Records?

[Tuj] Would not be mentioned in a book of World Records.

Is/Was the person an inventor?

An inventor? Unlikely, I think.

Is the Animal one specific example of its kind?

[Bismarck] Not a specific example of its kind.

Is this an unknown person?

[Dujon] Yes, an unknown person. Although not totally.

Something like The Bogeyman?

[Rosie] (laughter!) Many would say there's a strong possibility of this thing being very like The Bogeyman.

In the UK, is there only one of this?

[Rosie] In the UK, there is none of this.

The yeti?

[Software] Not the yeti.

Is this anything to do with politics?

[Rosie] (applause!) It is to do with politics.

To do with the EU?

[Rosie] Not the EU.

The leader of the first communal state?

[Dujon] Not sure what a communal state is, but no.

Is this an American thing?

(Applause!) It is an American thing.

Are eagles involved?

No eagles are involved.

Is it currently in the news?

Yes, it is currently in the news.

The Republican Party campaign for the Presidency?

A lame duck, as in "Obama is a lame duck president?"

[Rosie] (more applause!) Very close, but not the answer.
[Bismarck] Absolutely not a lame duck.

The American Presidential race?

[Bismarck] (the audience enthusiastically cheer on the runners) You are getting closer, but that is not yet the answer.

Hillary Clinton's campaign to become President?

[Rosie] (more cheering) Not Hillary Clinton's campaign either.

The US election?

[Software] (still cheering, you're thinking on the right lines) Not the US election.

You only have a few days to get this.

I'm off on holiday to Switzerland this Wednesday.

Do any dead people come into this?

[Bismarck] Dead people cannot come into this.

Going once...

The Canadian election?

Televised debates?

Not the Canadian election, or televised debates.
Hint: In a sense, this thing does not exist, but it is not fictional. For a period of time it does exist, and afterwards it again doesn't exist.

Going twice...

The thing does not exist right now, but it will in the near future, for a while.

Election promises?

Not election promises, but getting closer. It definitely has something to do with an election.
The guillotine will fall before midnight today.

The wall between the US and Mexico, as suggested by one of the candidates?

Anonymous

I've no time to take over... but I suspect the words "elect" and "president" might be needed.

[B] Not the wall.
[A] One of those words is on the card!

Another hint

The word "next" is also on the card.

And the winner is...

The first person to say "The next president of the United States."

Is it me?

Assuming Raak is now away, I presume to draw a line

Does that make it my go? Bugger... I mean goldarn it

OK, this is mineral. Play on!

Metallic?

Oily?

In a state that was fashioned by humans?

Is there only one?

[S] Not metal. (There may be some metallic atoms knocking around for aught I know or care.)
[R] Not oleaginous.
[Bi] Man-made, yes.
[Bo] There is only one of the AOTC, although there are other similar... things.

Stone?

Mount Rushmore?

Stone Henge?

Is it in the USA?

[R] Yes, stone. Almost entirely I should think.
[B] (A solitary applau is hurriedly shushed) No, not Mt Rushmore
[GL] It is not a henge of stone
[B] Not in 'Murica (U S of)

Is it a mountain?

Cleopatra's needle?

Is it a statue?

Does it begin with P?

[D] Hmm... Well, it wasn't when I thought of it, but actually a mountain is called this too.
[S] It is no part of Cleopatra's sewing kit
[B] Not a statue
[T] It literally doesn't begin with P

Does it exist today?

Is it in Africa?

[Bi] Still there, yes, but not in Africa.

Petra?

The parthenon?

Is it a monument?

Is it a castle?

Is it inside a building?

[GL & S] Not Petra, the Parthenon or anywhere else beginning with P.
[R] It is a monument in the sense of 'site of historical importance', but not in the sense of 'structure erected to commemorate an event or person'.
[Bi] Not a castle by any sensible definition.
[Boo] Not found in a buiding.

Is it in England?

Is it in Scotland?

[Bi] Not in jolly old England.
[Boo] Not in bonny Scotland.

In Europe?

[R] Not in Europe neither. Where's left that isn't Europe, Africa or the USA?

Is it in Australasia?

[B] Not Down Under.

It might be South America. is it?

Is it in Canada?

Is it on the Moon?

Was it man-made within the last 1000 years?

[Bi] It sure is in South America..
[GL & R] See above.
[Bo] Last 1,000 years, yes.

Is it in Brazil?

Macchu Picchu?

[Bo] Not Brazil.
[Bi] Indeed yes, therefore *Wild applause for Bismarck*
I'd better get back on the campaign trail...

Oh. Oh! And I thought that had no chance because of the 'P' in Picchu, as perennially suggested by Tuj. But I shall humbly take it upon myself to climb down this peak and devise another riddle. But first, this line:

Right, time for something Animal

Human?

Does it have two eyes?

[R] Not human
[B] Indeed they all do

Four legs?

Do these animals live on land?

Hamsters?

...no P...

Native to the UK?

Taste nice?

[So] Yes.
[Bo] Yes.
[Tu] No.
[Ra] Yes.
[Ro] I have only eaten one of this type of animal and it was nice.

Horses?

[GuLo] That gets an outbreak of clapping, with the odd whoop, holler, and whinny. However, it's not right.

Hedgehogs?

[Bo] No, we are spineless today.

Fillet of unborn horse, simmered in its own amniotic fluid?

Are these animals mammalian?

Hare?

[Ra] Ergh... No.
[Bo] Yes, they are.
[So] No.

Pig?

[Bo] Pigs are not part of this family.

Are we talking bovine here?

[Bo] No, there are no cows in this field.

Rabbit?

Goat?

[Ro] Rabbits are no part of this breed.
[Bo] Caprids, likewise, are not typical.

Deer?

[So] Deer, no. Please stop the ruminating.

Are these beasts regarded as pests?

Are these animals ungulates?

[Ro] I don't believe that even hunters could maintain they were pests.
[Bo] Yes, they all take their ungulation seriously.

Camels?

A Shetland pony?

[Ra] The Camelidae are out of reckoning. Audience, though, is getting the hump.
[Ro] Well, that gets a clap, but [Gusset Login] got there firster and better.

Do they still exist?

[Ra] They certainly exist today.

A beast of burden?

Is it a crossbreed?

[Ro] The horses certainly are, but I don't think anyone has ever tried the others.
[Bo] No miscegenation involved.

Equids generally?

[Ra] Gusset guessed that already. Still it gets a round vigorous if impatient applause and subdued cries of "Get on with it!" and "Can someone find us a zoologist?"

Odd-toed ungulates, a.k.a. Perissodactyla?

We have a winner!

And the zoologist appears, and with sage wisdom provides the answer. Therefore *Wild applause for Raak!*
For you sir, take your choice of baton engraved with a rhino, tapir, zebra, or what might be a horse, and follow the blue lights over there for the interview.
(I was waiting for [Tuj] to ask the p-question...)

The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.

Is it that boulder that Sisyphus has to push up a hill?

Is it decorative?

[B1] Nice idea,but not Sisyphus? boulder.
[B2] Not decorative.

Is the mineral in liquid form?

[Boolbar] Not liquid.

Is it the name of a mineral?

Does it begin with P?

Whoops, am I late? Sorry Bism =)

Stone?

[Bismarck] Not the name of a mineral.
[Zarquon] Does not begin with P.
[Rosie] Yes, mainly stone.

Is this found in the Bible?

[Boolbar] It is not in the Bible.

A bridge?

A geologic term?

Is it unique?

[Raak] I see your reference, and I appreciate it =)

[Rosie] Not a bridge.
[Bismarck] Not a geologic term.
[Tuj] Er...the MINERAL thing is unique, and the ABSTRACT thing is, broadly speaking, unique, but the MINERAL thing and the ABSTRACT thing are not the same thing.

Mount Everest?

[Bismarck] Not Mount Everest.

(Not sure how Mount Everest could be abstract, unless there's a novel called that.)

Stone me?

[Software] Not a figurative expression.

A geographic term?

Proper names are intrinsically abstract. I'm sure Wittgenstein said that, if not I'm making it up.

[Bismarck] Not a geographic term. Also, whether it is a proper name (that would be another question), proper name-ness is not the ground for this thing's abstractness.
(It seems to me, pace Wittgenstein, that The Royal Festival Hall (for example) is very concrete.)

Is the MINERAL thing human-made?

[Boolbar] It is man-made!

Is it comestible?

[Bismarck] Not comestible.

Does it involve a proper name?

Is this the Royal Festival Hall?

Is the mineral part a building?

[B1a] It does involve a proper name.
[B1b] But is not the RFH.
[B2] Is a building!

Is this building in Europe?

[Boolbar] It is, or was, in Europe.

Does it still exist?

[Bismarck] That is argued over, but the simplest answer is that no, it no longer exists.

Is this building in the British Isles?

Mysteriouser and mysteriouser... European building that may or may not exist, named by or after someone, but not decorative.

[Bismarck] Not in the British Isles.

Is its putative non-existence the result of politics?

[Rosie] Isn't everything the result of politics?
Perhaps I have been too obscure about its existence. It was built; it was partly dismantled, and partly fell into ruin, which is why it no longer exists.
[Bismarck] Although it does involve a proper name, the name is not the name of a person.

Right, this is far too vague up to here, could be anything from the Teutoburg Wall through Horta's Maison du Peuple to the Nurburgring Nordschleife. Is it in Germany?

[Bismarck] Not in Germany.

Alhambra?

[GL] Not the Alhambra. (That still exists anyway.)

Was it in Scandinavia?

A fortification such as a castle?

(Raak) re. politics. Not my excessive smoking.

[Rosie] Yes, this could be classified as a fortification. But was not a castle.

Was/Is it in France?

[Bismarck] Not France.

Is/Was it in Greece?

The Seigfried line?

[Boolbar] Not Greece.
[Software] Not the Siegfried line.

Did the Romans build it?

[Boolbar] Not built by the Romans.

Was it in the Balkans?

Scandinavia q still outstanding?

[Bismarck] Not in Scandinavia or the Balkans.

We'd better try Italy, then. Is it in Italy?

Is it in Spain?

Is it in one of the Visegrad countries?

getting there, getting there...

Not in Italy, Spain, ...(pause to google)..., or in Visegrad.

Is it in one of the Benelux countries?

[Bismarck] Not Benelux.
The audience is yawning and fidgetting.

Was it in a country whose name ends with a vowel?

As far as an English speaking person is concerned.

Is it in Switzerland?

It's not just the audience... still got Romania, Moldova, European Russia, Liechtenstein, European Turkey, Slovenia, Austria, Malta, Cyprus, and the Baltic countries to go. Let's see who cracks first.

Oh yes, there's Portugal too. Is it in Portugal?

[Bismarck] The country ends with a vowel. As indeed do most countries.
Not Switzerland. One of that list does apply, though.
Not Portugal.
One might try other angles. After all, how much would the country really tell you? What sort of building, what time period, and that abstract thing that no-one is asking about. I expect the answer is quite well known to most people here.

There are five words on the card.

Was this building still in use in 1900?

[Boolbar] Not in use in 1900.

That makes things clearer. Did people live in it?

[Bismarck] This building was not for living in.

Did this exist before 1900?

Was this a place of entertainment?

[Bismarck] Existed before 1900.
[Boolbar] Not a place of entertainment.

Any connection with horror stories?

A place of worship?

Did this exist B.C.?

[Rosie] Aaaaaaahhhhh???? No.
[Boolbar] Not a place of worship.
[Bismarck] Did not exist B.C.

Was this structure used for holding back or containing water?

[Boolbar] Not waterworks.

Was this structure a defensive wall?

A ripple of applause, as the stage of Discovery of the Footprints is attained. "These traces can no more be hidden than one's nose, looking heavenward."
Not a defensive wall.

Was it built by a religious order?

Did it exist before the year 1000 A.D.?

Was it a gateway or entrance?

[Bismarck] Not built by a religious order.
[hi again!] Did not exist before 1000 AD.
[Boolbar] Applause! It was a gateway or entrance!

triumphal arch?

[B] Not a triumphal arch.

Is the AOTC a book title?

[B] Not a book title.

Are the 5 words of the AOTC in English?

[Bismarck] The words on the card are in English. (One might quibble about foreign proper names, but I won't.)

Was this gateway/entrance at the perimeter of a city?

I hear the song of the nightingale. The sun is warm, the wind is mild, willows are green along the shore - Here no Ox can hide!

[Boolbar] (more applause!!) Yes, a gateway at the perimeter of a city.

(going back to a happy hunting ground) Is this in the Ukraine?

I seize him with a terrific struggle. His great will and power are inexhaustible. He charges to the high plateau far above the cloud-mists, Or in an impenetrable ravine he stands.

[Bismarck] Yes, it is (was) in the Ukraine!

[We're showing our age there. It's "Ukraine" these days, not "the Ukraine".]

Phi

[Raak] "The Ukraine" still exists. It's a region, whereas "Ukraine" is the country.

Do precious metals come into this?

[Raak] is so close to nirvana that it seems a shame to hinder the process. For only on super-Himalayan heights may the Answer be revealed.

[Bismarck] Strictly speaking, no precious metals are involved in the building itself, although there is a popular connection.

All quietened down a bit now - how about the golden gate of Kiev?

Mounting the Ox, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me.

[Bismarck] (a round of applause!) Hm, should I award the prize? (Whispered conference with Mycroft, ending with Mycroft shaking his head.) The mineral thing is indeed the Golden Gate of Kiev (named golden only for the domes of a nearby church). But the words on the card name both this thing and an abstract thing which is not called the Golden Gate of Kiev.

Are we looking for a piece of music here?

I don't think it is anything to do with Chicken Kiev.

Astride the Ox, I reach home. I am serene. The Ox too can rest.

[Boolbar] We are indeed looking for a piece of music.

Gates, gold, Raak, Mussorgsky, all merge.

This heaven is so vast, no message can stain it.

Bismarck has it: The Great Gate of Kiev.

Winners comments

I said what? Plausible deniability, take a bow.

So let us return and mingle with this blissful world.

Right, this next one is Mineral, to keep the ball rolling, and there are three words on the card.

Is it man made?

Is it bigger than a toaster?

Is the first word "The"?

Is there only one of this?

[GL] Artificial? No.
[Kn] Bigger than small? Yes.
[Ra] Definite article? Yes.
[Bo] Unique? Yes.

A precious stone?

[Ra] Gem-quality? No.

Liquid?

Is it a mountain?

Is it a natural feature?

[GL] No.
[Bo] No.
[Ro] Yes, on balance.

A waterway?

Is it larger than Wales?

[Ra] Wet? No.
[Bo] Fwy na Cymru? Yes.

England

Oi! Mwy na Chymru, 'sgwelwch yn dda.

Is it not on the Earth?

[Ro] Anglo? No.
[Bo] Extraterrestrial? Yes.

Mars?

[Ro] Red planet? No.

The Milky Way? (Other chocolate bars are available)

Is it within our Solar System?

[Kn] No.
[Bo] No.

Is it a galaxy?

Chocolate bar theme continuing.

A nebula?

Applause and the odd Janx spirit all around

[Bo] Yes!

Hidden text

They should have praline centres, all that black hole-at-the-centre theory is due for revision

[Ra] No.

The Magellanic Clouds?

[Ro] Star cluster? No.

The Andromeda Galaxy?

Take a bow, Boolbar!

The winning move and within twenty questions, a fine effort. Take this complimentary Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster and proceed to the winner's enclosure.

Recovers from hard hitting but lemony hangover

Wow! Winning this is out of this world! And thanks for the bow, I'll pop it in my hair. Um, the next one is
ABSTRACT & ANIMAL

Aslan?

A painting?

Animal part fearsome?

[Raak] No wardrobe based lion.
[Bismark] No framed masterpiece.
[Rosie] To some I'm sure. Frightening. Audience nodding

is the animal one that might be found in the wild?

Is the animal a snake?

[Bismarck] You wouldn't really say that about this animal, so let's go for no.
[Rosie] No.
Thinking about it, the AOTC is abstract involving an abstract animal, so my answer to Rosie's "fearsome" question is more to do with the abstract animal and not the isolated animal alone. Sorry for any confusion caused. I'm more awake today. As you were.

Is the animal extinct?

[Bismarck] Definitely not!

A sacred cow?

Is the AOTC an idiomatic phrase?

[Software] No.
[Rosie] No.

A mythological creature?

An heraldic animal?

Wonders when someone will ask the usual "animal" question.

[Raak] The AOTC is not a mythological creature, but the animal part does appear in myths.
[Superman] I can find examples of the animal part in heraldic crests, but is not usually thought of as such.

A snake in the grass?

[Raak] Alas no.

Cheshire cat?

[Bismarck] No grins for you either.

A quadruped?

Is the abstract bit a literary reference?

[Superman] No.
[Bismarck] Yes! Audience wake up and applaud.

Is the animal a human?

[Gusset Login] Yes!

So we are looking for somebody in a book... Is the perspn one of those Hero With a Thousand Faces types?.

The man with no name?

[Bismarck] Not one of those types.
[Gusset Login] Not without a name.

An historical (real) personage?

Is the personage male?

[Superman & Bismarck] Can you share this "No" between you? I'm running out of them. Neither real or male.

Is she a religious figure?

KagomeShuko

Does she have a statue in Denmark?

Liberty?

Britannia?

[All] No! Although I can't guarantee that there is not a statue somewhere in Denmark made by a bored sculptor and placed in their garden :)

Associated with a particular country?

[Raak] Yes!

Is that country in Europe?

[Superman] Yes!

British Isles?

Bernadette Soubirous?

[Bismarck] Yes!
[Raak] Not her.

Boudicca?

The Old Lady of Threadneedle Street?

[Raak] Not her either.
[Gusset Login] I like the way you think, but no.

The basics so far... Animal=Human (humans are found in myths, not extinct, etc.) Human=female with a name, not a religious figure. Overall a literary reference and connected with the British Isles.

Alice in Wonderland?

[Superman] Not her. Even through the looking glass.

Does this character have a pib named after her?

-pib+pub..

[Superman] Not that I know of (pibs or pubs). Without a list of all pub names worldwide it is hard to be certain. But a google search shows nothing, although I did find a pub in the UK with a very connected name.

From Arthurian legends?

Does the good lassie turn up in a play?

[Raak] No.
[Bismarck] If she does (and she has) it is not the original source, so don't be distracted by that.

Maid Marian?

[Raak] No.

Was the literary reference made after 1900?

[Bismarck] Not that recent, no.

Royalty?

[Raak] No.

Involved with the occult?

Scottish?

[Bismarck] No.
[Raak] Smattering of audience going 'oooh' There is an aspect of the AOTC that would come under the broad sweep of the occult. However the fictional female in the AOTC was not involved with the occult.

Mother Shipton?

Though I have admit she might have been real.

[Superman] Not her.

Originating after 1600?

[Raak] It is my great pleasure to say "yes".

Shakespeare's Dark lady?

[Raak] Nor her.

Just to clarify and hint : when I said earlier "...but the animal part does appear in myths." I was referring to humans in general for the animal part (as people were trying to identify the animal at that point), not this particular literary fictional human female character.

One of the royalty?

The White Lady?

Would it help to define the geographical appurtenance of said female more closely?

[Superman] No to Royalty and not The White Lady but the latter gets the audience murmuring.
[Bismarck] I suspect it would help.

I'm game... Welsh lady?

[Bismarck] Best hide from those people with shotguns then... As for Wales, no.

it's the leg i was referring to, thanks for the sympathy. Ireland?

[Bismarck] Nor Ireland. That should narrow it down a bit :)

Wilkie Collins' Woman in White?

(arriving late here, I am just reacting to the recent murmur from the audience)

[gil] Nice try, but no. Audience are looking more expectant now.

Irene Adler?

[Raak] To Sherlock Holmes she may be always the woman. But not this time.

Lack of inspiration leaves brute force... North of Manchester?

[Bismarck] Yes!

19th century?

[Raak] Yes! Yes!

from Dickens?

from the Bront?s?

Try ë for ë

[Raak] Not the Dickens.
[Superman] Shouting over the audience cheering Yes! From the Brontës!

Oh great, never read any of them. Wikipedia suggests Jane Eyre as a possibility, is that it?

[Superman & Wikipedia] Not that possibility.

Bront?s, Brontë, Bront. Testing. Still no idea, though.

Is the AOTC a personage in 'Jane Eyre'?

[Superman] Not that book no.

Audience

Start to overheat with anticipation : someone opens a window.

Oh, go on then: Agnes Grey?

[Superman] Not her, or any other shade of grey.

Lucy Snowe?

C'mon Boolbar, we all want to know if gil has it!

[Superman] Busy weekend and...
[gil] No. [hint : wrong Brontë]

Nelly Dean?

[Superman] No but... Some audience applause and whooping

Isabella Linton?

[Superman] No. Still the wrong character. The audience fall silent. Only the sound of a branch tapping on the window can be heard.

Note that the AOTC does have an extra part than just the character's name : see murmur above.

Is there nobody out there that has ever read this stuff and can put us put of our misery?

Nobody wants to take the baton at this time of year. :)

I give up

Not a ghost of a chance of anyone getting this? While I wait I shall listen to some music.

Did I really start this game 14 years ago? (see wordy intro above)

To narrow down to 1, hopefully: is she already dead at the beginning of the novel?

It's one of 2 I had suspected... but I've had a go relatively recently

[Knobbly] At the beginning of the novel she is dead.

[Knobbly] Don't apologise, it's been me and Boolbar in here for the last how long, and Stockholm syndrome was beginning to set in.

Catherine Earnshaw?

Audience goes wild with excitement
[Knobbly] That'll do as I'm sure you muttered "The ghost of" just beforehand. Plus I need a rest. Have this baton made from a fir bough which oddly feels like a ice-cold hand...

Where did my post go?

Did I forget to click Stand again?
Anyway, as everyone drifts back from extended New Year breaks, this one is ANIMAL.

The dog ate it.

Is it a human?

Is it Arthur Pendragon?

Made of meat?

`

[Boolbar] Not human
[GL] Not -King Arthur
[Tuj] I'll say yes, but only on the basis that all animals are made of meat, so that's not particularly helpful.

Mammal?

Fictional?

A bird?

More than four legs?

[Gil] YES, mammalian ([Boolbar] and therefore not a bird)
[Rosie] Not fictional
[Bismark] No more than 4 legs.

A specific human?

A lolcat?

Larger than a 2 slice toaster?

Extinct?

[Raak] No specific human
[Bismarck] No can has cheezburger
[Chalky] YES bigger than a small toaster
[Superman] The species is not extinct.

bigger than a goat?

[gil] No bigger than a goat

Is it a member of the subfamily Caprinae?

A pet?

[Boolbar] Not Caprinae
[Rosie] YES, a pet.

Sounds doggish

Carnivorous?

Is it a Thing That Should Not Be?

[gil & Bismarck] YES, extremely doggish and indeed carnivorous
[Raak] I had to Popular Search Engine it, but no.

Irish Wolfhound?

[Superman] Not an Irish Wolfhound.

Winner of Best In Show at Crufts 2016?

Is it a specific dog?

[Chalky] Not BIS
[Boolbar] YES a specific dog.

Lassie?

[Bismarck] What's that, Lassie? No, not you.

Is this specific dog still alive?

Laika?

[Boolbar] Not still alive
[Raak] Not Laika.

Greyfriars Bobby?

Recap

So we are looking for a dead pet dog Knobbly once knew. Hmmmm.

[CdM] Not Greyfriars Bobby
[Bismarck] Choosing to interpret that as a question: No, I didn't know the dog personally.

Did or does the dog advertise something?

Did the dog appear on children's TV?

[Boolbar] YES, it is an advertising dog *Audience wakes up and begins to murmur excitedly*
[Raak] Not children's telly, no.

... the Andrex puppy?

The Dulux Old English Sheepdog?

[S & B] Neither of them.

Used in a logo?

[Boolbar] Logo, YES. *Murmuring increases - they were worried you'd been misled by the yes to adverts*

The HMV/RCA dog?

Jumping on the bandwagon

[Software] YES - The AOTC was actually its name (for an extra point?), but I'm minded to give you that.
Listen to this recording of me telling you you've won...

And the winner of the invisible AVMA game is... Can't read it, it's faded.