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AVMA Take 2
help
Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Is this a form of revolution?
[Chalks] 5 rings - NO
[Rosie] H&S Gestapo? - NO
[Duj] Uprising? - NO you are all drifting away from ABSTRACT.

CLUE: there is more than one of these

Is it a Lifestyle Choice?
Softers - please can you do a summary to say what it's NOT. Ta :-)
[Chalks] My way? - NO anyone can do it, most do.

SUMMARY - Concentrate on the ABSTRACT. It is not: a fairy story, a life choice, a saying, a game, a passtime, scientific, religious or other social theory, nothing to do with language, politics philosophy or art. ANIMAL connection is strong the others less so. Good luck, it ain't that hard!

Is it culture-specific?
[CdM] Foible? - YES - well to qualify, the AOTC is AFIK but the principle isn't
Associated primarily with the UK?
[CdM] Blighty? - YES, primarily, the AOTC is anyway.
Is it an activity, i.e. something that one does?
[Phil] Out and about? - YES and NO, perhaps is the best answer.
Is the AOTC a present participle?
as "yes and no" isn't a very useful answer :)
[Phil] Grammatical? NO The AOTC has 3 words none of which are the definite or indefinite article. Hint: When the question was set it was in the future, now it is in the past.
Does the AOTC define/describe a period of time?
The August Bank Holiday Weekend?
[Phil] Time slot? - YES
[GL] August Bank Holiday - YES!

Hurrah! * hands over Brighton rock shaped sticky baton to GL at last *


Well, that took a pointlessly long time. So, a simple ANIMAL this time.
Is it human?
[Software] were the mineral and vegetable connections the bank?
[Phil] - Human? YES have a baton. (I said it was easy)
Hahaha! Why thank you, GL!
OK, so the next one is

ANIMAL & VEGETABLE

Is the vegetable wood?
Food or drink?
[GL] Wood? NO
[Raak] Food/Drink? YES *Some early applause*
A falling out between you and Rosie?
[Dujon] Me and the old geezer coming to blows? NO!
Hidden textI'd love to know who's the vegetable...actually, maybe I wouldn't :-)
Meat and two veg?
Is it a sandwich?
[Raak] Meat+2Veg? NO
[Chalky] Sarnie? NO
Pork scratchings?
Does it need to be cooked?
[Software] Scratchings? NO
[Rosie] Need to be cooked? NO (although a perverse minuscule part of me wants to say YES)
Is the vegetable to be found in a greengrocer's?
I decline to answer your previous question (hidden) on the ground that ... ;)
[Dujon] Greengrocer's vegetable? NO
Is it an animal product?
Is the animal fish?
[Chalky] Animal product? YES *a little applause*
[GL] Fish? NO
A traditional British sausage (50% breadcrumbs)?
Is dairy produce involved?
[Raak] A banger? NO
[GL] Dairy involved? YES *some more applause*
A pizza?
Does the AOTC include a reference to a U.K. country?
Is cheese the animal element?
[Rosie] Pizza? NO
[Dujon] UK reference? NO
[Chalky] and cheesey? NO
Is it sweet rather than savoury?
[CdM] Sweet? The AOTC is not sweet.
Is yoghurt involved?
[GL] Yoghurt? NO
Is the vegetable element made from grain?
[cfm] Grain? NO
Milk?
[Software] Milk? YES, milk is involved *applause*
Are cookies also involved?
[Raak] Cookie? NO
Is it in anyway responsible for bringing boys to the yard?
[GL/Kelis] Your milkshake? NO
Ambrosia Creamed Rice?
[Chalky] Devon knows how they make it so creamy? NO
Is it casein?
[Software] Casein? NO
A comment
Rosie's question "Does it need to be cooked?" continues to weigh on my mind. No Anglophone would say that they cook the Answer on the Card, but cooking of some sort or other is involved in the process of turning naturally occurring ingredients into the AOTC.
Is it a salad of some sort?
Weirdly enough .. the cooking thing .. was the one reply which has completely thrown my train of thought ...
A biscuit of some kind?
[Chalky] Salady? NO
[Rosie] Biscuity? NO
Butter?
Custard?
[Chalky] Butter? NO
[GL] Custard? NO
OH NO !!!!!
I've just reviewed my answers and noticed that when Chalky asked "Is it an animal product", I said "YES". I should specify that only the animal part is an animal product, the vegetable part isn't. Hope that helps ! :-)
PANIC OVER!!!
[Phil] Fret ye not - that's what I meant.
In summary: The AOTC is 'Animal Product' plus a 'Vegetable' (but not a vegetable to be found in a greengrocer) somehow linked together. Edible/Potable. Doesn't need to be cooked. Milk is involved.
I'll now ask a question, if I may ...
Is there an alcoholic content to this?
[Chalky] Alcoholic? NO
A bit more summary
One would not "cook" the AOTC but some form of "cooking" is involved at some point in creating the AOTC from naturally occurring ingredients.
Is yeast involved?
[Phil] Thanks - I was thinking fermentation - hence the alcohol question.
[Chalky] Yeast? NO
Sour cream and chive flavoured crisps?
A hint...
A follow-up to the 2nd question asked (Rosie's first) would be useful.
Drink?
[Chalky] Drink? YES *relieved applause*
A skinny latte or somesuchlike?
[Chalky] A latte? CORRECT. Congratulations! Now does my dithering over "cooked" make sense? Anyway, have this tax-avoiding baton...
Thanks Phil - we managed to sort that one out between ourselves :)
*raises a tasse of full fatte latte*

Staying with the Keep It Simple agenda - here's a lively little A N I M A L
Human?
[Rosie] Human? YES
Is/was this person short in stature?
[Dujon] Is/was this person short in stature? YES
Napoleon?
[Software] Napoleon? NO
Is this person alive?
[Software] Napoleon wasn't short, apparently, he was just portrayed as short for propaganda purposes. A bit of googling, and my suspicions are confirmed. He was about 5'7" (1.70m), over 2 inches taller than average for France at the time, and just about exactly average for the UK. Reference here
[Phil] Is this person alive? YES
re. Boney - grossly misrepresented ... poor sod.
An entertainer?
Does this person have a name consisting of two identical syllables?
[Rosie] An entertainer? NO
[Dujon] A name consisting of two identical syllables? NO
Nicolas Sarkozy?
keeping with the French theme ...
There's a French theme..???
[Software] Nicolas Sarkozy? NON
Sandy Toksvig?
(Appolgies for the spelling I don't have time to check it.)
[GL] Sandy Toksvig? NO
John Bercow?
[Rosie] John Bercow? NO

This is supposed to be a nice easy quick one - random guesses of allegedly vertically-challenged individuals will lead nowhere .. and I'm already bored
Male?
British?
Under 35?
3 yesses!
[Rosie] Male? YES
[Software] British? YES
[Gusset Login] Under 35? YES
Is he a 'child prodigy'?
[Dujon] Child prodigy? Not exactly a prodigy ..*huge cheer from audience*
George, prince of cambridge?
YES - the very chap! HRH George, Prince of Cambridge.
*Hands silver-spoon shaped baton to Gusset Login*
Thank you. I guess he is a little short for a stormtrooper.

OK. This one is a MINERAL with possible abstract and animal connections.
Is this a unique object?
Metallic?
Manufactured?
[Phil] Unique? YES
[Software] Metal? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? Um... it is man-made, if that's what you mean, but not mass produced, obviously.
A monument or statue?
[Software] Monument or Statue? YES. *Applause*
In England?
[Rosie] England? NO.
A well known male sans fig leaf?
[Dujon] A well known male without a fig leaf? As written, the answer has to be 'partly'. As intended, the answer would be very much NO. Take your pick.
Rodin's The Thinker?
[Software] The thinker? NO.

To clarify my answer to Dujon, the AOTC involves the image of a man who is not wearing a fig leaf but does not involve naked men in any way that I know of.
Is it a statue of just one person?
A political figure?
In Europe?
[Phil] A statue of just one person? The statue part of it is of one person.
[Rosie] A political figure? YES.
[Software] In Europe? NO.
In America?
[Gravy] 'Mer'ca? Yes
The Lincoln Monument?
Does the word Washington appear on the card?
[Dujon] Does Washington feature? NO
[Phil] Lincoln Monument/Memorial? YES. Have a baton purchased from the John Wilkes booth.
I have to give credit to the film "Night at the Museum 2" for raising my awareness of the Lincoln Monument, and more recently the 50th anniversary of the "I have a dream" speech, without which I would never have guessed that.
Anyway, onwards and upwards....our next AVMA is

Abstract with Animal

Is it a sandwich?
[Chalky] A sandwich? Alas, NO
Phrase or saying?
[Software] Phrase or saying? NO
One of the Seven Deadly Sins?
... or all of them?
[Chalky] A sin or seven? NO
A fictional person?
Grand Theft Auto V?
[GL] A fictional person? On this occasion I'll be generous and allow you the two questions in one - YES and NO
[Chalky] GTA V? NO
A fictional animal?
[Chalky] Fictional animal? YES *some applause*
A mermaid?
skippy?
A named individual fictional animal?
[Software] Mermaid? NO
[GL] Skippy? NO
[Raak] Named individual fictional animal? YES *a little more applause*
Created by A.A.Milne?
Has this named fictional animal appeared in more than one of the following media: book, film, TV, radio, grand opera?
[Dujon] A.A.Milne? NO
[CdM] In more than one of: book. film, TV, radio, grand opera? YES
A Disney character?
[Lovely Gravy] Disney? NO
Human?
Nobody has checked this yet.
Dog?
[Software] Actually, I did.
Was the creator male?
[Software] Human? NO (yes to fictional animal, no to fictional person, hence not a person. You are correct that nobody asked that question directly though)
[GL] Dog? YES *more applause*
[Dujon] Male creator? YES
Any connection with the Simpsons?
[Lovely G] Connection with the Simpsons? YES, but not an important connection, IMHO.
Greyfriar's Bobby?
Did this character first appear in print?
Did they first appear on TV?
[Software] Greyfriar's Bobby? NO
[Dujon] First appearance in print? YES
[GL] First appearance on TV? NO (see above)
Lassie?
[Ye Olde Softeware] Lassie? NO
Was s/he introduced in a childrens' story?
[Dujon] In a children's story? NO
Astonised of Berkshire
Ooops, not sure what happened there, but I thought I'd add a summary, just to help out, as I thought this would be simple. Not that there's much to summarize.
This is a fictional dog; created by a man; has appeared in multiple media (from the list: book, film, tv, radio, Grand Opera), but first appeared in print; has a slight link to The Simpsons (which is unlikely to be useful).
The AOTC was not created by A.A.Milne; is not a Disney character; is neither Greyfriars Bobby nor Lassie; was not introduced in a children's story.
The hound of the baskervilles?
[GL] HotB? NO
Toto
[Chalky] Toto? NONO
Created by Homer?
[Dujon] A Homeric character? NO
A clue
An assumption appears to have been made.
Is it a cartoon dog?
.. such as Scooby Doo?
[Chalky] A cartoon dog? YES *Much applause*
[Ibid.] Scooby Doo? NO *oohs, aahs and groans of disappointment*
Snoopy?
and the Red Baron
[Software] Snoopy? YES!
My childhood hero. I still drink out of a Snoopy mug at work, which even has a Snoopy stand to sit on. Such is my fondness for the special beagle, that when I tried this AVMA on family members, and as soon as I said "fictional dog", they guessed it. The assumption, of course, was that "print" referred to books. Also, The Simpsons makes several nods in the direction of Peanuts and Snoopy - e.g. "Hungry, Hungry Homer" which was on C4 last week finds Homer asleep on top of the kennel, and Bart says "Good grief!" more here.
Here, Software, take this flying helmet, goggles and scarf set - may it serve you well!
Well, well. I'm getting too good at this.
Can I think of something that won't cause as much trouble as last time?

Let's try this, then:

MINERAL with ANIMAL and Vegetable connections.

Sorry Software - too complicated - only kidding.
But whilst we're about it, PLEASE answer the questions in a straightforward manner ... takes bloody ages to work out what you're trying to reply to usually! ;-)
:o(
Sorry, sorry, sorry ...
A building?
Margarine?
A planet?
Man-made?
[Raak] A building? - NO (not as such)
[Phil] Margarine? - NO can tell talk from mutter
[GL] A planet - NO * some discussion and shuffling among the andience *
[Rosie] Man made? - YES
A satellite?
An international project?
[Phil] Satellite? - YES
[Duj] International? - YES
The ISS?
[Raak} ISS? - YES!

Please accept this SpaceX shaped baton


The next is, nowdays, mostly MINERAL.
man made?
Yes, man made
Is it something that was previously made from wood?
Ex-wood? No.
Concrete?
[Software] *amusement in the audience* Not concrete.
Made of plastic?
< Toaster < ?
[Rosie] Not really made of plastic, as ordinary people use the word, but an industrial chemist might disagree.
[Software} Bigger than a toaster.
Does it have moving parts?
[LG] *more amusement* It certainly does.
Is it elastic?
Something to support or suspend a human?
[Phil] Not elastic.
[Dujon] Yes! It supports or suspends a human. That might give slightly the wrong idea, but it definitely does that.
Might this be found in a fairground?
[LG] Not in a fairground.
Float on water?
[Software] About as well as a dog walks on its hind legs.
Is it primarily a form of transportation?
Some form of seating?
[LG] *applause* It is a form of transportation.
[Rosie] Not a form of seating.
Is it a form of footwear?
[Phil] Not footwear.
Does it have two wheels?
Swing bridge?
[LG] Does not have two wheels.
[Software] Not a swing bridge.
Is it "traditional" such as a rickshaw?
[Rosie] Not traditional.
Does it have wheels?
[Phil] No wheels at all.
Is the 'transportation' generally vertical?
[Dujon] Exclusively vertical, as in a lift? No.
Bobsleigh?
[GL] Not a bobsleigh.
Does on stand on it?
Might this be found at an airport?
[Phil] Interpreting the preposition strictly, one does not stand on this.
[LG] Not primarily found at airports.
Hang glider?
Is it a form of airborne transport?
[GL] Not a hang glider.
[Phil] *applause* Yes! A form of airborne transport.
Parachute?
Is heated air an important part of its propulsion?
[GL] Not a parachute.
[Dujon] *cheering* Yes! Heated air! Therefore it is...?
a political campain?
A hot-air balloon?
(GL) I can see your point, but it's Mineral. :-)
[GL] Not a political campaign.
[Rosie] A hot air balloon! Hold this mooring cable for a moment, will you? Oops...don't let go!
Oh shoot!
I was thinking hot-air balloon when I asked my last question, but didn't want to make the leap of faith. Congrats, Rosie.
Moving parts? Where exactly?
Also, did not get the 'dog on hind legs' reference to its ability to float on water. Surely an inflated balloon would float very well.
[LG] The whole thing moves! The gondola wouldn't float very well, and once the water puts the fire out, neither will the balloon.
Yay! Let's hear it for Charles' Law.

OK, this next one is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS

Are the animal connections of a human nature?
(Phil) Human? Just about, i.e. YES
Phrase or saying?
(Softers) Not a phrase or saying.
Is the abstract a human behaviour?
(Duj) Not a human beviour.
Is there a connection to football?
Or is there a connection to the Tory Party?
Is it an institution or organisation type thing?
(CdM) It would take a conspiracy theorist of a high order to connect this with either of your suggestions.
(Phil) Strictly no, but possibly in a figurative sense.
Fictional?
Is there a misical connection?
Sorry, musical
(LG) Essentially no musical connection.
Fictional human(ish)?
(Softers) No. Real humans.
Is it a system of government?
(GL) Not a form of government. *slight amusement in the audience*
If not strictly an organisation, is it an informal collective of individuals?
(LG) Rather the opposite of informal.
OK then, a formal collective of individuals?
(Phil) Not a collective.
A different tack is needed.
Related to media?
(cfm) Media-related? YES.
A business cabal of some kind?
(Dujon) Not a business cabal.
Related to the news?
(GL) Not connected with the news.
Related to entertainment?
A spin doctor?
(cfm) Related to entertainment? YES.
(Softers) Spin doctors? The very last thing need by the AOTC. So, er, NO.
Are sattelites involved?
(Dujon) No satellites, natural or otherwise.
Related to prestidigitation?
Specifically related to television?
(Softers) No sleight of hand involved.
(cfm) Telly? YES. *applause*
An announcer?
(Softers) No, not an announcer, not even the mellifluous Charlotte Green. :-(
"Reality" television?
(cfm) Not "reality" television.
Is it the name of a TV programme?
(Lovely Gravy) The name of a TV programme? YES. *audience animation*
Surely not Paxman?
(Software) Paxman? He is certainly involved.
University Challenge?
(CdM) Morniverse - JOHN! Of course it is. Well done. I hand you the furry animal. And it's goodnightfrommegoodnight.
Yes, well, that wasn't quite a lurker's victory, since I did ask questions earlier on, but I clearly stood on the shoulders of slightly-taller-than-average people, there.

This isVEGETABLE with ABSTRACT and ANIMAL connections.
A leek?
Edible?
Leek? No.
Edible? No.
The True Cross?
Paxman?
True Cross? No. *tiny smattering of applause*
Paxman? No.
An artefact?
Is it a cauliflower with aspirations to become a moose?
Is it made of wood?
Artifact? No.
Upwardly-mobile cauliflower? No.
Wooden? Yes.
Is the abstract a religious matter?
Abstract = religious? Yes. *applause*
Is the religion Christianity?
A crucifix?
Christianity? No.
Crucifix? No.
Native American?
Native American? No.
In a round about way could the animal portion involve bats?
Bats? Er. As far as I know it would have to be very roundabout.
Used in the course of prayer?
The use-mention distinction
Used in prayer? No (though I am not sure if it is ever mentioned in the course of prayer; I suppose it might be).
Is the animal connection human?
Just to prevent misplaced assumptions
Is the religion Roman Catholic?
Roman Catholic? No. (We already knew it is not Christianity)
Is it made in the form of the animal connection?
Oops, missed Phil's question.
Animal connection = human? The main animal connection is human, yes. (There are also many other less direct animal connections, both human and nonhuman.)
Made in the form of the animal connection? No.
Would this be most likely to have been constructed in Russia?
Could this be lifted by a person of average proportions?
Sorry, missed the Christianity bit.
Constructed in Russia? No.
Liftable? No.
Does it relate to a specific religion?
Specific religion? Yes.
Is the religion Buddhism?
Let's home in a bit
Buddhism? Yes. *applause*
A temple?
The Bodhi Tree?
Is it carved?
Getting right to the point
The Bodhi tree? Yes! *takes chainsaw, fells tree, and fashions baton for Chalky*
Oooops
A genuine Lurker's Victory - thanks to all who set up my re-entry to this game.

A N I M A L
Dame Shirley Williams?
[Gusset Login] Dame Shirley Williams? Inspired - but NO.
Well, Dame Shirley bleed'n Porter, then?
Sorry for not taking this too seriously at the moment. Things will improve.
Is the animal human?
[Rosie] Well, Dame Shirley bleed'n Porter, then? Eff'n NO.
[Basics] Is the animal human? YES
Is the human alive?
[Phil] Is the human alive? YES
Is this a female?
A politician?
Is this person's native language English?
.. thought I'd replied already
And again ..
[LG] Female? Might be.
[Rosie] Politician? Might be.
[CdM] Native language English? Might be.
Is this one specific person?
Is it a group of people with a common goal (e.g. a choir or a football team)?
[Phil] One specific person? Most likely - so YES.
[Dujon] Group of people? Most unlikely - so NO.
Culture specific?
[CdM] Culture specific? Not sure what you mean - culture is a big word. I'd say NO.
A particular role or post?
[Software] Particular role/post? This person certainly has a role/part to play so a tentative Yes.
At the moment you are reading this, is the AOTC a single identifiable individual?
[CdM] Single identifiable individual? Well spotted - NO.
.. but I still think the additional word ABSTRACT would have been misleading. You may disagree .. :)
Does the person who represents the AOTC know that they are the AOTC?
Sorry - been out and about and away from t'interwebs ...
[Phil] Does the person who represents the AOTC know that they are the AOTC? Not a scooby doo - NO
Is the person a creation of one's imagination?
Is the AOTC a different person for each one of us?
[Rosie] Is the person a creation of ones imagination? NO
[CdM] Is the AOTC a different person for each one of us? NO
An actor?
Does this person perform a service?
[Software] An actor? Unlikely but can't say for sure.
[Rosie] Perform a service? Insomuch as they are the subject of this puzzle - I have to say yes.
Have you met someone who is an AOTC?
[CdM] Have I met someone who is an AOTC? This particular someone is the only one who *could* be the AOTC. Whether or not I've met them already is irrelevant.
Will the AOTC be selected at birth?
[GL] Will the AOTC be selected at birth? NO .. what an odd question!
Is the AOTC the person who is the AOTC?
If so, it's Not Fair.
[Rosie] Is the AOTC the person who is the AOTC? NO - but I like your thinking! *Audience senses a breakthrough*
CdM?*
*(being the winner of this round)
I think that counts as a win, Monsieur C de M.
The actual Words On The Card are The Person Who Guesses That They Are The Winner Of This Round.
I toyed with the notion of adding ABSTRACT to the description but really couldn't be bothered with the standard questioning that might've come my way ;-)

Besides - you ARE a real person, aren't you?

*baton fashions itself into CdM-shape and flies to Daddy*
Interestingly, though Rosie's answer was not the answer on the card, it was a correct answer.
ANIMAL
Indeed it was.
Human?
[Chalky] Congrats on your delightfully bewildering round - that was fun!
Dame Shirley Williams?
Human?
(CdM) I'm flattered, despite the logical impasse. Not to worry - all statements made by ethnic-Welsh Londoners are false anyway.
Human? Yes. *some audience murmuring, which abates when they read the footnotes on the card*
Shirley Williams? No.
Human? Yes. *no murmuring, because the audience members have read the footnotes on the card*
Human with footnotes?
An armless pianist?
Human with footnotes? Yes. Your point? (OK. I think the most useful answer is yes. But it is possible to claim that a simple Yes is misleading.)
Handicapped pianist? No.
Is this a named human?
Is this more than one human?
Is this less than one human?
Good questions
Named human? No.
More than one human? The AOTC is not more than one human. *smattering of applause, nonetheless*
Less than one human? Yes. *some applause, and some discussion among the more pedantic audience members*
A severed head?
Severed head? No.
A diminutive human?
Small person? No. ("Less than a human", Software??)
blood?
Only human?
pre-birth?
Part of a specific human?
Blood? No.
Only human? This is where the footnotes come in. I am thinking of the AOTC in a sense specific to humans, but it can apply to other animals as well. You will almost certainly find it more helpful just to think about humans, though.
Pre-birth? No.
Part of a human? Yes. Part of a specific human? No.
A limb?
Limb? No.
An organ?
I nearly asked "Nigel Farage?" given the "Less than a human" answer :-)
Alive?
An organ? No.
Alive? No. *a little audience muttering*
Anything to do with medical research (stem cells etc)?
A cadaver?
Fingernails?
A beard or whiskers?
Medical research? No.
Cadaver? No.
Fingernails? No.
Beard/whiskers? Not the AOTC, but *massive applause*
A mustache?
A moustache? Yes! I am currently growing one as part of Movember (one of the founders of which is an alumni of the school where I now teach). I haven't had a moustache (without beard) since I was about 18, I think—and, if I do say so myself, I think it looks absolutely hideous. So if you feel like throwing support towards my Movember team, you can click here. It is a worthwhile cause.
*plucks out hairs one by one* and weaves them into a baton for cfm*

*ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!
Sorrysorrysorry
Alumnus. As you were.
*clicks*
*is positively crushed to find no photo of moustachioed CdM*
*donates*
Okay, this next one is ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL ASSOCIATIONS
The idea of CdM with a moustache?
[Raak] *laughs* but NO :-)
A dog's life?
[cfm] Thank you. For a sufficiently large donation I will send you a photograph of someone with a moustache that, for all you know, could be me.
A fictional human?
[CdM] Er...not that crushed. :-)
Familiar phrase featuring pups? NO.
[GL] NO. The AOTC is abstract. I think that is the proper answer to your question...
Would many people consider the abstract to be a form of art?
Is the abstract associated with animal behaviour?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Dujon] Art for the masses? NO
[Rosie] Oh, behave!? YES
[Chalky] Famous expression? NO
Is this behaviour regarded as a good thing?
[Rosie] Well-behaved? YES and NO. There a number of animal behaviors associated with the AOTC. Some are good, some are not.
The mating season?
[Rosie] Fun and games? NO. *a few murmurs from the audience*
A form of 'showing off'?
[Dujon] Theatricality? YES. There is an element of theatricality associated with the behavior that is associated with the AOTC. (Reminding everyone that the behavior is not the AOTC.)
Acting the fool?
[Software] Fool me once? NO
Is fear involved?
A song?
[Rosie] Scary stuff? YES, in some instances. But many other emotions might also be associated.
[Chalky] A musical solution? NO. But come to think, there is a movie title closely related to the AOTC...FWIW. :-)
A board contest?
[Dujon] Board contest? Not sure what you mean. A board game like Monopoly? NO. A skate boarding contest? NO. Opposition to someone's nomination to a Board of Directors? NO. Or did you mean something else?
Is the AOTC a result or consequence of the associated behaviors we've been discussing?
[Chalky] A result of the behaviors? YES *audience applauds vigorously*
Is the AOTC a performance?
[Phil] Showtime? NO. Not in the traditional sense. But metaphorically speaking, one could relate it to a finale. *audience applauds encouragingly*
Is there a connection to sleep?
[GL]Perchance to dream? NO
Is this an abstract 'thing' awarded as a result of a result?
Sorry for the earlier rather broad question.
[Dujon] An award? I think the best answer is NO, not in the traditional sense of honoring or gifting someone. But but but...*audience encourages this line of thinking with hoots and hollers*
Is this an accolade?
Peer pressure?
[Phil] Highest praise? NO.
[Rosie] Everybody's doing it? NO, that is not the AOTC. However, since peer pressure is frequently one of the behaviors that results in the AOTC...*audience continues to applaud*
Posting to Youtube?
The herd instinct?
[GL] YouPost? NO
[Rosie] Bovine behavior? NO
Dieting?
[Chalky] Losing it? NO.
Let's have a look at where we are.
The AOTC is not a behavior in and of itself. It is the result of more than one behavior. Though no one asked specifically, the AOTC is the result of human behavior. One of behaviors associated with the AOTC has an element of performance about it though it is not a performance in the traditional fine art or entertainment sense. If the behavior were a performance, however, the AOTC could be likened to the finale of same. Peer pressure is often involved. Though not an award per se, one or more of the behaviors associated with giving an an award are also associated with the AOTC. I will throw in for free that the AOTC is a noun.
Are the people engaging in these behaviours part of a specific profession?
[CdM] On the job? YES. Professional behavior is involved.*approving applause*
A degree?
[Chalky] It's academic? NO. But *applause* because that's a noun and the final result of a series of behaviors.
a job promotion?
[Chalky] Climbing the ladder? NO.
An ASBO?
Anything to do with sport?
[GL] An acronym I had to look up? NO.
[Rosie] Sportsman-like? NO. But there are winners and losers associated. *applause*
Is it generally a negative acheivement?
By which I mean, for example, the 'wooden spoon' in a sporting tournament.
[Lovely Gravy] Unhappy face? MAYBE. (See "there are winners and losers associated" above.)
Does the noun relate to marriage?
Does the abstract noun relate to death?
[Dujon] Love or marriage? NO.
[Chalky] Mortality? NO.
Does this occur in a particular geographical location?
Twenty-nine questions over twenty days might indicate scant interest in this little puzzler - even my curiousity meter is twitching around 'indifferent'.
So it's not connected to love, marriage, birth, death, academia, job development, sport or the performing arts - is not a well-known phrase or saying or an an 'award', per se?
Does it involve a voting procedure?
Is it connected to the medical profession?
Would this have been possible 30 years ago?
[Chalky] Particular geographical location? NO, it happens in many locations.
[Chalky 2] Involves voting? YES, often.
[Chalky 3] Medical connection? YES and NO. It is not a critical connection but some of the most famous examples include a medical connection.
[Chalky 4] Possible 30 years ago? YES. And also 300 years ago.
*vigorous applause for the somewhat indifferent player*
Is this a leadership matter?
I've given up.
I apologize. I guess I am really bad at this game. Next time i get the baton, I will just pass it on.
The AOTC is "verdict" -- in the legal sense, the finale of a trial, which involves some degree of performance on the part of both attorneys and witnesses...and which also involves voting, at least in my experience as a juror.
[cfm] Sorry you feel the need to apologise - there was nothing wrong with your choice really.
Something I've said before on more than one occasion ... I think it helps to reply to a question without changing the questioner's original wordage. Spinning a question forces a 'double read' which can get tiresome. It can also mislead, eg. your reply to CdM's key question regarding a specific profession didn't inspire a rigorous follow-up and perhaps should have?
[Chalky] Thank you for the advice.
*raises, then lets the baton fall once on the desk and leaves it for whomever*
[cfm] I've only been in the chair once. It can be quite difficult to respond to questions in a manner relative. Some people are quite adept at it. I wasn't. Don't dwell on it, regardless of the somewhat snide comments you might receive.

If no one else is taking it.
[cfm] Don't worry about it. I've made the same mistakes before, we all have.

To hurry things along I will pick up this discarded baton and offer an ABSTRACT with MINERAL & ANIMAL connections.
A work of art?
[cfm] Work of art? I would say Yes, but not everyone would agree.
A singular work (versus a category of same?)
20/21 century?
[cfm] A thing, not a type of thing? Yes.
[Software] After 1900? Yes.
A piece of visual art?
[cfm] Visual Art? I said before, not everyone would agree it was even art. That said, if it is art, it probably qualifies as visual art. (I am guided solely by Wikipedia in this matter, however).
Could it be regarded as a style?
A monument?
Made of metal?
[Rosie] A style? No.
[Dujon] Monumental? No. *Audience Mirth*
[cfm] Metalic? No.
Was the AOTC intended as a work of art?
[cfm] Intended as art? No, at least I doubt its creator(s) would have used that word at the time.
Oh dear. Should have asked, is the mineral association with something metallic?
[cfm] Metallic association? No.
Is it man-made?
Is it the name of a place?
[Phil] man-made? Yes.
[Chalky] name of a place? *Audience Applaudes* Part of the AOTC is the name of a place.
Is the mineral connection water?
Can I go to a specific place to see it?
[Chalky] Wet Stuff? No.
[Phil] Can you see it in a specific place? Yes, I have seen it in several specific places.
Could it fit inside a microwave oven?
If it can be 'seen' is it Abstract?
[cfm] Could it fit inside a microwave oven? Yes, it's an abstract.
[Chalky] Is it really an Abstract? Yes.

To clarify the point, the contents/title of a book, film or TV programme would all be examples of abstracts that can be seen. (I'm not saying it's one of those but they still exist).
Well then, is it a film or TV program? (I don't know why I keep losing sight of the fact that this is an abstract!) :-)
[cfm] Film or TV? No.
Is it a logo?
An illusion of some kind?
[Chalky] logo? No.
[Rosie] A kind of magic? No.
Is there a musical connection?
Camelot?
[Chalky] Musical connection? Yes, music is involved to soem extent.
[Software] It's only a model? No.
Is it a play?
I said: IS IT A PLAY!?
Typical example of my stupidity - Software asks "Camelot?"
The reply comes back " It's only a model - No "
Result: I spend more time worrying about my failure to make a connection between these two posts than I do about the actual resolution of this puzzle. Thus confirming why I shouldn't be playing this game.
[Chalky] A Play? No.
Sorry, I've been preoccupied, my redundancy notice came through on Friday.
[GL] So sorry to hear that. I hope that another, better opportunity is just around the corner for you. (((((hug)))))
[cfm] Thanks, so do I. But now I've got my CV up to date etc. I'd welcome the distraction of getting the game back up and running.

So, in summary The AOTC is the name of a work for the second half of the twentieth century that contains both visual elements and music. It is not a play, film, or TV programme but more than one copy exists. The title itself contains the name of a place, which is the mineral connection. The animal connection remains unexplored.
Is the animal connection human?
[GL] Eek. Just spotted your redundancy posting. Been there, done that. Hope something turns up pronto.
[Chalky] I don't understand the Camelot/only a model connection either.
[Phil] Human connection? Yes, but not exclusively.
[Chalky/Phil] I'm sorry for the Camalot/Model thing, it was a reference to Monty Python's Holy Grail. Clearly I have seen it too recently. It was not a clue.
It's been two weeks
Is there anyone else still playing this?
A novel?
[Software] A novel? No
OK. Either I, Christmas, or a combination of the two seem to have killed this round/game. Whatever the reason, it would seem wise for me to step down and offer the baton to someone else.
The AOTC was The Secret of Monkey Island.

I will place this baton here for anyone to take.
I know I haven't played for ages, but I have an idea for a very straightforward and unsubtle one... MINERAL.
man made?
[GL] Manmade? YES
Made of metal?
[GL] I thought many times about your AVMA, but never thought of a video game. Not that I've heard of Monkey Island, though :)
Metallic? NO.
Wood?
Is it edible/potable?
Bigger than a bread box?
[Phil] I don't think anyone else thought of video games either. Also, you should play Monkey Island.
Found in the home?
[Rosie] Wood? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO
[GL] Smaller than a breadbox
[Software] Found in the home? YES is the best answer, albeit disputable.
Plastic?
Stone?
[Dujon] Plastic? NO
[GL] Stone? NO, I think.
Chalk?
[Chalky] u-y=aotc? NO.
Oil?
Liquid at room temperature?
A ceramic material?
[Rosie] Oil? NO
[GL] Liquid? NO
[Chalky] Ceramic? YES
Some form of crockery?
[Rosie] Plates etc.? NO
Something deliberately artistic?
A Garden Gnome?
[Phil] Very seldom considered art
[GL] GG? NO
A gentlemen's urinal?
Associated with a particular culture?
Is it used as an insulator?
[Rosie] Fountain? NO (but you are on the right track - that is if you really know your contemporary art very well!)
[CdM] Culturally specific? NO
[Dujon] Insulator? YES, I think you could say that.
Any connection with Le Mannequin Pis?
Long shot. Yes, it's bronze and older even than me, but my knowledge of contemporary art is not so much like the back of my hand as the sole of my foot.
[Rosie] P-boy? NO (getting colder)
Does water run through it?
[Rosie] Google "Duchamp's Fountain", of which I've been aware for about a week, by pure chance.
[Phil] Water through it? *audience guffaws* Hopefully not!
(Advice to most: don't bother with the contemporary art angle unless you've been paying very close attention since the end of Duchamp's era)
Is it functional, i.e. was it created to serve a particular purpose?
A swimming pool?
[Fil] Phunctional? YES
[Rosie] Pool? NO.
Is it designed to prevent water flow in some way?
[Phil] Prevents water flow? YES
Is it made of Bakelite?
A ceramic tap valve?
A ceramic bath plug?
A bottle stopper (with or without rubber washer)?
(Phil) Yeah, ceramic Bakelite - good stuff.
[Phil] Not Bakelite
[Software] Tap valve? NO
[GL] Plug it? NO
[Rosie] Bottlestopper? NO
Is it bigger than a toaster?
[Rosie] You know, something felt wrong as I typed it. What was I thinking!?
A brick?
A roof tile?
*lobs baton through Raak's window, wrapped in a note reading: "Essential component of Carl Andre's Equivalent VIII? YES!"
I think that’s my first lurker’s victory. Next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
The atmosphere?
The oncoming storm?
[Rosie] No atmosphere, as Neil Armstrong said.
[GL] Outlook for Viking, Fisher, German Bight? No.
Phrase or saying involved?
Mineral in its natural state?
[Software] Not a phrase or saying.
[Rosie] Unnatural.
A man-made object with a significance beyond its immediate use?
[Rosie] Can you unpack that? The words on the card refer to a man-made object. They also refer to something abstract.
The Sword of Damocles?
Having carefully unpacked it from its vagina.
[Rosie] Not the Sword of Damocles, wherever it's been.
Is the object made mainly of paper?
[Rosie] Not paper.
Is this larger than a 'phone box?
[Dujon] Smaller than a phone box.
Is it smaller than an iron atom?
[GL] Bigger than an iron atom.
Is it metallic?
but is it art?
[Rosie] Not metallic.
[Phil] Not art.
Plastic?
Stone?
[Rosie] Not plastic.
[Software] *mutters of "At last!" from the audience* Um, stone, sort of.
a diamond in the rough?
[GL] Not a diamond.
Is this a grave matter?
Depiction of a human?
[Dujon] Not grave.
[Rosie] Not a graven image.
Concrete?
Used in building?
[Phil] Not concrete.
[Rosie] *some applause*   Is used in building!
A pseudo-stone like Corian, for example?
[Software] Not a pseudo-stone. (I suspect a retired industrial chemist might inform us that the thing on the card isn't stone at all.)
A brick?
Glass?
I suspect GL has it.
[GL] *applause* GL very nearly has it, but it would be bad form for me to have just reused the previously set object. No, this is not a brick.
[Rosie] Not glass.
A breeze block?
[GL] Not a breeze block.
Mortar?
[Phil] Not mortar.
Another Brick In The Wall?
A chip off the old block?
[Chalky] Not Pink Floyd.
[Software] *murmurs in the audience* Not a chip.
A buttress?
female butter
[Rosie] Not a buttress.
Writer's block?
[Software] Not writer's block. *the audience drift off to sleep as the team wander into the fog*
The foundations?
[Rosie] Not foundations. Smaller than a phone box, folks.
Pebble-dashing?
With the abstract being the chundering euphemism.
[Phil] Projectile vomiting? No.
Some attention to the mineral aspect, and to the audience reactions, might be more fruitful.
Stone the crows?
[Software] Not corvicide.
Ceramic?
[Rosie] Yes, ceramic. *the audience open their eyes a crack, for hope springs eternal*
Down the toilet?
on the tiles?
[Software] Not a toilet.
[GL] Not a tile.
The Keystone?
[Chalky] Not a keystone.
Does the AOTC include the word 'stone' - compounded or otherwise?
[Dujon] No occurrence of "stone". A hint: it does have an occurrence of a significant word that has been guessed already.
Does the AOTC include the word 'brick'?
[GL] *applause* It does contain the work “brick”!
Drop a brick?
[Software] Not a dropped brick.
A brick ****house?
I love my brick!
A Few Bricks Short Of A Load?
[Projoy] Not a brick house.
[GL] Not a sex toy.
[Chalky] Not a few bricks short.
Hint: neither of the words on the card is "brick".
Decorative Brickwork?
Clutching at straws as I've ground to a mental block
[Phil] Not decorative brickwork.
Bricklayer's Arms?
[Projoy] Huge hands with no fingerprints? No.
Bricking It?
[Chalky] Not bricking it.
Hint: the words on the card are an indefinite article followed by a noun.
A brickbat?
[Projoy] At last! A brickbat! Have this bouquet tied to a hurled half-brick.
OK, this one is ABSTRACT (with mineral and vegetable connections)
A phrase or saying?
Bouquets and brickbats?
Anything to do with bricks?
[Raak] We've taught each other a new word each in the last 5 days :-)
[GL] Phrase/saying? NO
[Raak] Florid critiques? NO
[Phil] Brick-related? YES.
Does the AOTC contain 'brick'?
[Phil] =*"brick"*? NO
Does the Abstract convey a sense of strength?
[Rosie] Abstrong? NO
What about permanence, then?
Any building related terms in the AOTC?
[Rosie] Permanence? NO
[Software] Building-related? YES
Is there a music connection?
[Chalky] Music? NO.
Vegetable wood?
[Rosie] Wood could be involved but I had something else in mind as the veg connection.
Is there a "wall" connection?
[Phil] Walls? A connection, but not a crucial one.
Is it a place?
[Chalky] A place? NO
Is the mineral/vegetable connection paint?
Is it a building?
Is it related to roofs?
[Dujon] Paint? NO
[Chalky] Building? NO *applause*
[GL] Roofesque? YES, related.
Is it a collection of constructions?
[Chalky] Collection? NO
A Monument?
Remains of a building?
A Map?
[Chalky] Monumental? NO
[Phil] Ruin? NO
[Chalky] Cartograph? NO
A house of cards?
[Sw] House of cards? *some cynical laughter from audience* NO.
Is it a well-known phrase or idiom?
Just remembered it's Abstract!
Is a human construct?
[Phil] Gusset asked that question ^^^ up there. Apparently it's not.
[Chalky] So (s)he did. Oops!
[Chalky] Human Construct? YES.
The concept of being indoors?
[GL] Withinness? NO
To do with religion?
[Rosie] Secular.
Is the AOTC generally regarded as a good thing?
[Chalky] A Good ThingTM? Probably more YES than NO, but it would depend on whom you asked and when you asked them.
Connected with the weather?
[Chalky] Weathery? NO.
Is it related to architecture?
[Phil] Architecture? YES, basically.
Is it a recognisable 'style' of architecture
Is it a blueprint?
[Chalky] Style? NO
[GL] Blueprint? NO
An Englishman's home?
[Software] Well known phrase or saying? NO :)
Is it linked to a specific individual building?
[CdM] An exclusive address? NO.
Is the mineral stone?
[Phil] Mineral stone? INTER ALIA.
Does this relate to a piece of literature?
[Chalky] Literary? Most likely mentioned in literature but not specifically famous for that.
Is it the name of a room?
[Chalky] Not the name of a room.

CLUE: A lot of people reading will have direct personal experience of this, and for those that do they will have spent a lot of time thinking about it.
Is it an activity?
A game?
[Phil] Activity? SORT OF, not exactly
[Chalky] A game? *audience laughter* NO.
Conveyancing?
A profession or occupation?
[Phil] Conveyancing? NO *some applause*
[Chalky] Not a profession.
Buying a house?
[Raak] Housebuying? NO *audience look pleased*
Selling a house?
Moving House?
still in the right area
[Raak] Selling? NO
[Chalky] Moving? NO.
Gazumping?
House-hunting?
is renting a house involved?
[Chalky] Gazumping? What a wonderful word. NO
[Chalky] Hunting? NO
[Raak] Renting involved? NO *applause* NO, not in the sense you probably mean.
Is 'demolition' part of this?
[Dujon] Demolish? NO! Well, hopefully not.
Speculative development?
still in the right area
[Raak] Build it and they will come? NO.
Does a word in the AOTC end with "-ing"
Does it involve building a building?
[Phil] Gerund? NO
[Raak] Involves building? NO. (Involves a building? YES).
A mortgage?
A survey?
A valuation?
Home Insurance?
the default option
[Rosie, Chalky] Not those, since...
[Raak] YES! A MORTGAGE. The mineral connection is bricks and mortar and the vegetable connections are paperwork and cash. * hands over the baton in exchange for Raak's promise to pay him for it once a month for the next thirty years *
Don't worry, the government will bail you out.

The next is MINERAL, with ABSTRACT connections.

Does it involve bricks?
[GL] No bricks.
A man-made structure?
[Rosie] Man-made.
Metallic?
[Software] Nonmetallic.
Made of stone?
[Rosie] Made of stone.
Stonehenge?
A building?
[irach] Not Stonehenge
[Projoy] Not a building.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Rosetta Stone?
In Britain?
Larger than a telephone box?
(Damn. I actually thought of mortgage when Projoy gave us his clue, but then rejected it for some really compelling reason that I can't remember.) :-)
[Rosie, CdM] Smaller than a telephone box in Britain, because...
[GL] The Rosetta Stone!
Hmmmm...

Let's go with an ABSTRACT with Animal connections.
Human animal?
[Software] human? - No.
Is the animal a type of animal (as opposed to an animal product, such as leather)?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Phil] animal? - Not an animal product.
[Chalky] phrase or saying? - No.
Some sort of organisation?
A book/story?
the Animal connection - a living organism?
[Rosie] organisation? - No.
[Dujon] book/story? - Yes.
[Chalky] a living creature? - Yes.
A children's story?
Moby Dick?
Long shot.
[Phil] kids' tale? - Yes.
[Rosie] The great white whale? - No.
Does this animal have a tendency to sound like a clock?
[Dujon] Sounds like a clock? - No.
Is the typical/target readership under 8 years old?
[CdM] target readership<8? Why do you assume a story needs to be read?
Tom and Jerry?
Winnie the Pooh?
[Rosie] T&J? - No.
[Raa] A bear of very little brains? - No.
Has the story been filmed?
[Raak] on film? - Yes.
Babe?
Bambi?
[Chalky] Good Pig? - No.
[Software] Bambi? - No. *Some applause*
Did this involve some number of brooms?
Cartoon?
[Dujon] brooms? - I don't remember any.
[Chalky] cartoon? - No.
Disney?
[Chalky] Sidney? - No.
Peter Rabbit?
has the film been on release for longer than 10 years?
[Software] Peter Rabbit? - No.
[Chalky] film age>10 years? - Yes.
Old Yeller?
[cfm] Old Yeller? - No.
A dog?
[Chalky] Dog? - No.
a horse ... or maybe a kangaroo?
[Chalky] Horse/Kangaroo? - Not a horse. Not a kangaroo. Not some freaky cross-breed of the two.
You leave my black velvet coated skippy alone, Chalky. ;)
Does this film involve hunters?
[Dujon] hunters? - No, not that I recall anyway.
Mickey Mouse?
Bambi/Disney?
[Software] Mickey Mouse? - No.

Summary: The AOTC is a living, fictional, non-human character and the title of a live action film from more than ten years ago. The character is not a dog, horse, kangaroo or any traditional game animal (no hunters). It is not a book (I couldn't even find a novelisation) and the film was not made by Disney.
Why did Bambi get some applause from the audience?
King Kong?
Trigger, the Wonder Horse?
[Chalky] Bambi got the clap? - First time someone guessed a film with a title character.
[Chalky] King Kong? - No.
[Raak] Trigger? - Not a horse, not even Trigger.
Babe?
Racing Stripes?
[Software] Babe? - Still not Babe.
[Phil] Racing Stripes? - No.
A member of the cat family?
Is the AOTC humanoid?
[Raak] Feline? - No.
[Phil] Humanoid? - Yes.
a Martian?
[Raak] Martian? - *Audience applaudes loudly* No, or at least probably not.
Is the central character a being stranded on Earth?
Paul?
[Dujon] Stranded on Earth? - Yes.
[Phil] Paul? - No.
ET?
Superman?
[Phil] Kal-El? - No.
[Chalky] Phone home? - YES it was ET The Extraterrestrial. Have a baton with one glowing end.
Splendid! Thank you GL.


Keeping it simple with A N I M A L and V E G E T A B L E and even a hint of M I N E R A L
Meat and two veg with a sprinkling of salt?
[Raak] Meat and two veg with a sprinkling of salt? NO *audience applause*
Is it edible?
Smokey bacon crisps?
[Phil] Edible? YES
[Raak] Smokey bacon crisps? NO - but *a huge roar of approval from an already excited audience*
A full english breakfast?
Oh, I say ...

Thanks to some incisive questioning Projoy has it!
Full English Breakfast is indeed the AOTC.

Here you are, dear chap, please accept this amusingly-shaped sausage baton ... phnarr phnarr
How eggs-citing. Hopefully I won't make a hash of the next one.

MINERAL
Is it man made?
[GL] Human-made? YES.
Metal, mostly?
[Rosie] More metal than not? NO, but there is metal in it.
Intended to be digested?
Bricklike?
[Dj] Gustible? NO.
[Chalky] Bricky? NO.
[Rosie, addendum re: metal] I guess that by mass the metal makes up less than 50% but now I think about it more, I'm not completely sure.
Electrical?
A device, gadget, tool etc?
Yes or No to any - I'm not trying it on.
[Software] Electrical? I'd say NO * a murmur in the audience*
[Rosie] "Device" is probably the best out of those options.
A piece of equipment designed for the reception of radio signals?
[Dj] PoEDftRoRS? NO. *much audience applause*
battery operated?
A router?
A CD?
[Chalkeroonie] Battery? NO
[Rosie] Router? NO
[GL] CD? NO *tumultuous applause*
A cassette tape?
A DVD?
[rab] A cassette? YES!
* hands over a biro so you can rewind to the start of a new round*
Bollocks
I should know better than to post before buffering off to the pub for six hours.

Mine is ABSTRACT, potentially with connections to all three other categories.

The colour red?
[Chalky] Whence "phnarr phnarr", I wonder?
Reality?
Imagination?
music?
[Tuj] I first encountered it in the 80s via "Finbarr Saunders and his Double Entendres" in Viz magazine (once the 3rd most popular magazine in the UK!)
Colours - not even close.
Reality - only in the sense that this does have a physical manifestation.
Imagination - components might transpire as a figment of the same.
Music - no. But the general level of tangibility is not far off.
A human invention?
An artform?
As opposed to a specific piece of art.
Is this an emotion of some kind?
A performance of some kind?
(Tuj, Phil) I'm sure it was "Fnarr, fnarr".
April Fool?
Sorry for asking two questions but this one had to be asked.
Human? - very much so yes.
Artform? - to say yes would be deliberately obtuse, but the level of specificity is spot on.
Performance? - of some kind, I suppose so.
Ha ha bonk? - no
Is this an emotion of some kind?
On behalf of Dujon the Whisperer ;-)
Sorrow.
Emotional? No. Not that human.
Academia?
Lackademicals
No, but I like the cut of your jib.
Teaching?
A theory?
Teaching - no, but keep thinking about performances in the broader sense
A theory - no
Might this involve 'letters after ones name'?
Legal connection?
A medical connection?
Postnomials? Probably, but not necessarily.
Legal link? *applause* Yes, keep going
Medical? Possibly, but not necessarily.
Being called to the bar?
Mine's a small americano
Nope.
Evidence?
*ooh ahh* part of the performance certainly.
Cross-examination?
Making a statement?
A trial?
Prosecution?
Grumpy looks? No, but this is definitely involved.
Statement? Likewise
Inspiration for Kafka? audience oohs, aahs and generally inhales in a "that'll costya" kind of way no
Perspiration? No.
A tribunal?
Advocacy?
Tribunal? Not long, now.
Advocacy? Less abstract.
A court case?
Luggage? Nope. Keep going though.
Legal Aid?
The Supreme Court?
Unexciting fizzy drink? No
Cooked in stock and cream and served with rice to make an unfulfilling dish? Nein.
You were closest with the tribunal-style performance.
A Judgement?
A judicial review?
Public Inquiry?
A Royal Commission?
A verdict?
Got there in the end
Yay, Chalky. It was a public inquiry. Well done.
Yay. Nice one. Good to see you, rab.
As is my custom - a quickie ...
A N I M A L

Human?
[Raak] Human? YES - ish.
Politician?
Maria Miller?
An extinct hominid?
Sajid Javid?
Alive now?
[Gusset Login] - Politician? NO
[Software]- Maria Miller? NO
[Raak] - An extinct hominid? NO
[Projoy]- Sajid Javid? NO
[Rosie] - Alive now? n/a
A group of people?
A post or position?
To do with the military?
[Raak] A group of people? NO *a smattering of applause*
[Rosie] A post or position? NO
[Dujon] To do with the military? As much as 'it' is to do with any person or group of people.

*clarification* Without the indefinite article I assumed the one-word opening question was an adjective as opposed to a noun - hence my vague-ish reply.
Humanity? I.e. everyone?
[Raak] Humanity? NO - however, this relates to 'everyone'
A specific individual?
Part of a human?
The human genome?
[Projoy] Specific? NO
[Gusset Login] Part of a human? YES! *audience whooop whoops*
[Raak] The human genome? NO - although given my reply to GL above - more relevant than earlier guesses ;-)
An internal organ?
An organ?
Oops. I meant, a bone?
The bridge of the nose.
hehe
[GL] An internal organ? Arguably - YES, this is classified as an organ in most places [that classify such things].
[Projoy] YES an organ, still ... but definitely not a bone.
[rab] The bridge of the nose? NO - but *audience seems to like all the last few questions*
Is this (or these) particular 'empty' spaces within the human body?
The skin?
[Dujon] Empty spaces? NO
[Raak] The skin? NO
The blood?
Is it found at one specific location in the body?
The appendix?
[Raak] The blood? YES! Need a little more for the AOTC .. *roars of approval from a very excited audience*
[rab] Specific location? As confirmed above - several locations throughout the body.
[Phil] Appendix? Nah :)
The circulatory system?
[GL] Circulatory system? NO
The corpuscles?
[Raak] Corpuscles - NO - although they are relevant ..
Anything to do with the process of healing?
Red blood cells?
The immune system?
No to all - it's about Blood!
Blood BLOOD
Blood vessels?
A blood donation?
Seeing the word so often on the page, the voice in my head is now making it rhyme with "mood". mood ... blood ... food ... blood ... hood ... blood ... wood .. blood ...
Black pudding, then. So there.
[Software] I think Chalky said yes to "human?", so that would be quite some black pudding if it is right.
[Projoy] Not blood vessels
[Raak] Not a blood donation
[Software] Not a human black pudding.

Remember ... it's all about the blood.
blood plasma?
An armful (very nearly)?
Haemoglobin?
Is this a type of blood cell which has various types?
[Raak] Plasma? Not the AOTC
[Projoy] Not an armful
[Rosie] Haemoglobin? Not the AOTC
[Dujon] 'Various types' is a phrase which should lead to the AOTC ... *audience wakes up*
A rhesus negative?
What took you so long ..?
[Projoy] 'A rhesus negative' is about as close as anyone has come to the AOTC, with the exception of Raak who guessed the 'blood' word. As the AOTC is Rhesus Negative Blood I am thrilled to hand over this gargantuan syringe-shaped baton to do with as you wish ..
It may be just a smear to you, mate, but that's life or death to some poor blighter.
OK, here's another.

ANIMAL
Human?
[Rosie] Human? YES.
Alive?
A particular human?
[GL] Not alive.
[Phil] A particular human.
Died this year?
[GL] Mort MMXIV? NO
A pianist?
An actor?
Died this decade?
Involved in "the arts"?
... or even "the sciences"?
[Dujon] Pianist? NO.
[rab] Actor? YES.
[GL] Mort -10? NO.
[Phil] Arts? YES.
[Chalky] Science? NO.
Male?
British?
[Phil, Rosie] British and Male.
Has he starred in a major science fiction movie?
Died post 1990?
[Raak] SF movie? Pretty sure that's a NO.
[Chalky] Died after the Thatcher era? NO.
Died before 1970?
Died before the Heath era? YES.
Shakespearean roles?
Garrick?
Died before 1960?
#obsessingonthedeaththing
[Raak, Rosie] Not known for Shakespeare
[Chalky] Died since 1960.
Kenneth Horne?
Stan Laurel?
Vocalist?
[GL] Stiff Horne? NO.
[Phil] Resting Laurel? Another fine mess: NO.
[Software] If you mean singer, then NO.
Tony Hancock?
The lad himself
[Rosie] It IS Tony Hancock. Please take this radio aerial (and send a tray of bread pudding to Kuala Lumpur).
Part of my early teenage years. On the Home Service, no less, or was it the Light Programme? Can't remember. Now, what shall I do with this thing? Ah, yes -

ABSTRACT and MINERAL.

The Philosopher's Stone?
The last train?
Sonic Screwdriver?
A legendary object?
(Phil) Nothing so concrete.
(Projoy) Nice try, but alas....
(GL) No, not a latter-day Swiss Army penknife.
(Raak) YES, at least in the Abstract sense.
A particular vision?
(Dujon) YES, something specific.
Hidden textI am now going to bed
Human-made?
(Projoy) NO, not a human creation though the Abstract indirectly involves humans.
Something that might be studied by scientists?
(Projoy) They might, as an incidental, but it's not the flavour of the AOTC.
Anything to do with steam engines?
(Raak) Vocal traction? Not a scintilla, not a smithereen, not e'een a wisp of steam from a leaky cylinder gland.
Is a lake often associated with this?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with lakes.
To do with "The Arts"?
A corno da tirarsi?
A brass instrument that Bach specifies in four of his cantatas, but no-one knows exactly what instrument he meant.
(Phil) Nothing to do with The Arts.
(Raak) Not a little trumpet.
Hidden text(Welsh) corn bach
Metallic?
(Software) NO, not at all metallic.
A natural feature?
(GL) YES, a natural feature.
Giant's Causeway?
(GL) NO, nothing so hexagonal.
In the UK?
(Raak) Mineral - NO, Abstract - Mainly NO but could be.
Is the AOTC a mountain?
(Dujon) NO, not a mountain.
Are the abstract and mineral two distinct (essentially unconnected) meanings of the AOTC?
(CdM) The two are connected, one literal, one figurative.
Is this a weather feature?
(Chalky) Weather? Broadly, YES. *audience stops texting and looks up*
Does the word 'global' appear on the card?
(Dujon) "Global"? NO.
Is this a weather formation that was given a name?
Confused as always.
(Dujon) YES, it has a specific name but this is not normally regarded as a meteorological term.
Is this a form of wind pattern?
I know that I shouldn't but everyone else seems to have knocked off for the weekend.
(Dujon) NO, not a wind pattern.
Is it associated with deserts?
A dust storm?
(GL) Maybe a stronger asssociation with deserts than other places but a long way from exclusively so.
(Softers) Not a dust storm.
Is this 'object' a form of visual 'trickery'?
(Dujon) Visual trickery? NO, very real.
Associated with water or lack of?
(Chalky) Nothing to do with water, most certainly not.
Solar power?
(Chalky) YES, very much so. *audience goes positively orgasmic*
So is that the AOTC ...?
If it isn't I'm not quite sure where to go from here ..
Ra, the Sun God?
Apollo?
The sun?
(Chalky) NO, not the AOTC, but it's about the sun.
(Phil) NO, not Ra, not a God.
(Projoy) NO, not Apollo.
(Gusset Login) Yes, but specifically....?
halo?
Sunshine?
(Software) Not a halo.
(Projoy) The AOTC is much more specific.
A little ray of sunshine?
(Projoy) Rather more than that, it would seem.
A supernova?
A solar flare?
Solar winds?
(Raak, CdM, Projoy) Nothing as technical as these. An earthbound phenomenon, not a scientific term.
A sunbeam?
(Projoy) Not a sunbeam. This is probably more Art than Science.
Is this something like the sight of a huge cumulonimbus lit up by the setting sun?
(Dujon) A nice image that conjures up but alas NO. HINT: The AOTC is the name of a pub.
The Rising Sun?
(Chalky) NO, but very close. Move on a bit. *audience now hyperventilating dangerously*
The Midday Sun?
Thanks to Google
The Sun and Ferret Droppings?
The Setting Sun?
The Sun and Heir?
(Chalky, Projoy,Raak) Not the Sun and Trouserpress, either, for

Phil has it. The midday sun. Well done. Stay indoors.


As soon as I saw it was in Surrey, it had to be right.

Next, for your amusement and intellectual delight, we shall have:

Vegetable & Animal

Edible?
Well, that's a nice easy start :)
[Raak] Edible? YES
A chicken salad sandwich?
[Projoy] Chix Salad Butty? NO
Pub grub?
[Software] Is the AOTC "Pub grub"? NO, but it could be classified as such
Is the animal red meat?
Scampi and chips in the basket ?
very 70s
Is the vegetable potatoes?
A 'lunch' of some kind?
Scotch Broth?
[Rosie] Red meat? According to the USDA, YES, but in my personal opinion, NO.
[Software] Scampi? NO
[Raak] Potatoes? NO
[Dujon] some kind of 'lunch'? YES, it can be.
[Chalky] Scotch Broth? NO *some encouraging applause*
Some form of burger?
[Rosie] Burger? NO
soup?
Does it contain sausage?
Is bacon involved?
[Raak] Soup? YES *more applause*
[Rosie] Inc. sausage? NO
[GL] Bacon involved? NO * A smattering of applause*
Does this involve ham and peas?
[Dujon] Ham & Peas? YES *Considerable applause*
Pea and ham soup?
Does it begin with a...
Ahem.
[Tuj] But 3 hours too late :)
[Raak] Pea and ham soup? YES
Officially, as far as I could find, pork counts as red meat in the USA, and appears to be undefined here. But in my opinion, 3 categories of meat exist :red, white and processed, hence my awkward answer earlier.
*passes a breadstick to Raak*
The next is ANIMAL.
Is bacon involved?
Does this animal consume bacon?
[GL] Bacon is not involved.
[CdM] Does not normally consume bacon.
Is it human?
Alive?
[Gusset Login] Not human.
[Rosie] Alive.
One particular animal?
[Rosie] Um...yes and no.
An animal foetus perhaps?
[Dujon] Not a foetus.
A swarm of bees attacking Topshop?
Is it a parasite?
[GL] Not a swarm of bees.
[Dujon] Yes! It is a parasite.
A louse?
[Software] Not a louse.
Does it begin with P?
Does not begin with P.
Is this an internal parasite (as opposed to a tick or its ilk)?
[Dujon] Not an internal parasite.
Is it a Benefit Scrounger?
[Chalky] * laughter and applause* Yes, I suppose it is in a way.
A mosquito?
[Rosie] Not a mosquito.
Was this once used by doctors as a remedy for various ills?
[Dujon] Not a cureall.
Tick?
[GL] Not a tick.
Does it have a relationship with bats?
[Dujon] Not below the phylum level.
A bedbug?
Flea?
[CdM,Software] Not a bedbug or a flea.
Does the average Morniverser harbour this creature?
[Rosie] The average Morniverser probably does not harbour this creature.
Hint: think bigger.
Is this more likely to be found on something other than a human?
[Dujon] Yes, does not parasitise humans.
Some sort of worm?
[Projoy] Not a worm.
Hint: bigger!
Do the parasite and its host live in water?
[Dujon] Not in water.
A vampire bat?
Dracula? No.
Cuckoo?
[Software] **riotous applause!!** Yes, a cuckoo! But which one?
The first cuckoo of spring?
[Projoy] Precisely so!
My mind went straight to Delius as soon as cuckoos came up.

The next is MINERAL.
Well it would wouldn't it? Dear old Fred.
Is the mineral natural?
Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to ask a question.
Is it metal?
Is it edible/potable?
[Duj] Natural? NO
[GL] Metal? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO * a reflective chuckle from an audient*
Stony?
So close, oh so close :(
[Software] Stony? NO, this falls on stony ground.
Sorry I pipped you. The late worm catches the bird, I guess.
Plastic?
[GL] YES, a form of plastic.
Decorative?
A form of packaging?
[Sw] Decorative? YES, mainly
[Rosie] Packaging? NO
Lycra?
[GL] Lycra? NO *scattered applause*
A clothing fabric?
Ladies clothing oriented?
Latex?
Spray-on jeans of the sort that have lately become fashionable?
[Phil] Clothing? YES
[Software] Ladies'? NO
[GL] Rubber? NO
[Raak] Sprayon? NO
Is this pants/trouser support?
[Duj] Keeps your panties on? NO.
Is it a codpiece?
Though I suppose that could arguably be described as "packaging"...
[blame] Codpiece? NO *audience applause*
Is it used in the undergarment department?
[Phil] Undies? NO
Cricket box?
Not sure if that's undies or overies. Now I'm working on a pun involving overs... Meantime I'm emboldened to guess by the applause, if not by the html, but also aware they'll applaud anything remotely saucy that lot...
[blame] Overies unlikely to be found in a cricket box, shurely? NO.
Rubber?
[Raak] Rubber? NO, definitely synthetic.
*googles* Oh, there is such a thing as synthetic rubber. Anyway, it's not that.
Is the item visible on a normally-clothed person?
a hat of some sort?
[Rosie] I don't know about "normally clothed", but YES, it would be visible on a person wearing it.
[Chalky] Hat? NO.
A condom?
A wet suit?
A superhero's cape?
[Chalky] Une lettre? NON
[Phil] Wet suit? NO *an audient smiles, teasingly*
[Raak] Cape? NO
Hi-Vis jacket?
Is it work-related apparel?
[Software] Jobsworth uniform? NO
[Raak] Job uniform? NO
An umbrella hat?
[Raak] If you want to get ahead? NO.
Is this designed to keep the wearer dry?
Mainly decorative you say ... ?
[Duj] For dryness? NO
[Chalky] Decorative? YES.
Is it made of neoprene?
A substantial fascinator?
[Phil] Neoprene? NO
[Raak] Fascinator? NO
Does this item have any lascivious connections?
Comedy apron?
Is this normally worn above the waist?
[Rosie] Naughty? NO
[Chalky] Apron? NO
[Dujon] Above the waist? YES.
below the neck?
[Chalky] Below neck? YES AND NO.
Scarf?
[Soft] Scarf? NO.
Is it a form of necklace?
... or necktie maybe?
[Dujon] Necklace? NO
[Chalky] Necktie? YES, a form of... *applause*
A noose?
[Raak] Synthetic noose? NO.
Bow Ties are cool
Is it? A dickie bow?
[blame] Not a dickybird from the audience for that, I'm afraid.
Cravat?
[Software] Cravat? NO.
PVC collar for the BDSM community?
,[Phil] Of Human Bondage? NO. As per Chalky's answer, the AotC is a form of necktie, or 'tie', as we Brits call it.
A policeman's clip-on tie?
In that case...
[Phil] Clip-on tie? NO.
A clerical collar?
Not female wear. .. and mainly decorative?
Just so's we're all on the same hymn sheet ...
[Rosie] Dog collar? NO
[Chalky] YES, a form of male (by convention), decorative necktie.
"Bolo" tie?
[Phil] Bolo? X.
One of those hideous things Texans wear?
[Soft] A "bolo" tie, as I believe they're called? NO
A kipper tie?
Is that why they applauded codpiece? For the cod, rather than - as it were - the piece...
[blame] YES! the words on the card are "a nylon kipper tie", and the fish connection was indeed the reason for the applause. *turns the baton around itself twice, folds the end through the gap, passes it through the loop, tightens, and hands it over to blamelewis*
I was fishing from the shoulders of giants...
Yay, whee, oh cripes do I have to do one now?

Errrrr... ANIMAL
A human?
A Duck?
The Duck-Man of Oswestry?
[Projoy] Oh I do hope that's right - we did a project on him at school.
No to all above sadly...
The Ocelot-Man of Oswestry?
The Owl-Man of Oswestry?
Part of a dead animal?
I fear Owestry has no part in it... And it's less part of a dead animal than the whole of a living one.
Mammal?
Fish?
Neither Fish nor Mammal.
Is it a bird?
dingdingding
[Rosie] Yes!
The Duck-Pigeon of Wrexham?
A penguin?
Associated with NE Wales?
The chick of Chirk. I know this part of the world rather well.
[Projoy] We need to have a talk.
[Gusset] Not a penguin.
[Rosie] Not to my knowledge.
Mythical avian?
A well-known phrase or saying?
So much for the Albatross of Acrefair, then.
A species of bird?
[Software] I have reasonably good reason to believe it's a real species
[Rosie] None that I've come across
[Phil] Yes, exactly that.
Does this bird fly?
Likely to be seen in a British back garden?
[Dujon] Shrewd. No it doesn't.
[Rosie] Alas no.
Is it a penguin?
Is it a Kiwi?
[Phil] Still not a penguin :)
[Gusset] Neither a Kiwi
An ostrich?
But not the Oswestry Ostrich, obviously.
Emu?
A dodo?
I know you said living but all the good answers were gone.
[Rosie] Obviously. Also, no.
[Software] U me? (no...)
[Gusset] I can promise you that just fewer than two good answers remain.
Is it extinct?
A bird that is to be found in northern Australia?
Grebe?
A cassowary?
(since Dujon never actually comes out with the guess) :-)
A gold star to CdM. What a morniverse-analytic person you are. :)
[Raak] Nope
[Dujon] Nope
[Gusset] Nope
[CdM] Nope
Rhea?
A caracara?
[Software] Not a Rhea, but Rare! (Not a Ratite, but a rarity)
[Phil] it is not, but thanks for introducing me to a new bird name...
A steamer duck?
Ostrich?
A recap
It's a non-mythical species of bird, flightless and rare.
It is none of the following:
Penguin, Penguin, Kiwi, Ostrich, Emu, Grebe, Cassowary, Rhea, Caracara, Steamer Duck, Ostrich.
A cryptic clue follows
Hidden textFilthy Teletubby!
The Kakapo of Ludlow?
The Po Bird?!
Is it someting along the lines of the Oomegoolybird?
This was posted via Eh-Oh L.
"Something". I have not gone Jamaican.
Penguin?
Projoy has it!
Apart from the Ludlow bit, as far as I'm aware...
[Gusset] A droll lol...
It is indeed the endearingly hopeless Kakapo, which I learned about from Douglas Adams' wonderful Last Chance To See and the later TV series with Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine revisiting the species from the book years later.
[Rosie] I remember that joke, is it from Clue? "very short legs..."

OK, here's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL
France?
Some form of food and drink?
[GL] France? NO
[blamelewis] Edible/Imbibable? NO
Can you wear it?
A gold embossed, leather bound book?
Arty?
Does the animal part relate to humans?
Is this an object once used in war and hunting?
[GL] Book? NO
[Raak] Art-related? NO
[Phil] Animal human? PARTLY/MAINLY, I suppose.
[Dujon] An object? NO. Used in war? ARGUABLY (but probably not that helpful an angle).
[Softers] Wearable? NO.
Is/was there just one of it?
[Raak] Just one? YES is the best answer.
The Earth, and all that is upon it?
A man-made environment?
[Raak] The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yea, all which it inherit? NO
[Rosie] A man-made environment? YES, I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.
The Anthropocene Age?
[Raak] Humantime? NO
Is/was it in space?
[blame] In space? NO (except in the sense that everything is).
A theatre?
Can you see all of it at once?
[blame] Not a theatre.
[Rosie] Can you see it all at once? NO, not from most angles.
(I guess it depends how strict your definition of 'it all' is).
Bigger than a phonebox?
[Software] Much bigger than a phonebox.
Bigger than Ireland?
[GL] Smaller than Ireland.
About the size of Wales?
1 standard unit.
[Rosie] Smaller than a Wales.
Bigger than Kent?
[GL] Smaller than Kent.
A man-made island?
Bigger than Central London?
Within the M25
[Software] Not an island
[GL] Smaller than London, both in M25 and 1965 and 1899 boundaries terms.
er, 1889, I meant.
Bigger than the London Eye?
[GL] Yes, bigger than the biggest ferris wheel.
Is it an organisation?
[blamelewis] Organised? No, not as such.
A specific urban area?
[Rosie] A specific urban area? YES.
Slough?
In the UK?
[Software] Come, friendly bombs? NO
[GL] In UK? YES!
Is this an area which might be loosely termed as an 'entertainment' district?
[Duj] Entertainment? NO.
Is it a City?
Is it in Wales?
Is it a distinctive part of some large city?
[blame] City? NO
[GL] Wales? NO. *audience cries of 'bad luck, old chap'*
[Rosie] Distinctive part? NO.
Is it in England?
Shropshire?
[GL] England? YES!
[Software] Shropshire? YES!
Gotta be Oswestry.
[Rosie] Oswestry, home of the famous duck-man? YES! Please take this very short section of the England-Wales border.
Well, well, I've been Offa'd a Dyke. Oswestry was "town" to my Dad's family from Glynceiriog.

Enough of this rambling - the next object is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.


A human construct?
(Pj) A human construct? - YES.
Particularly linked to a specific human?
(CdM) Linked to a specific human? - NO.
Is there a religious theme to the answer?
(Phil) Religious theme - NO.

Clarification/Correction: The "human construct" applies to the wording rather than the idea itself.

Phrase or saying?
(Software) Phrase or saying? - YES.
Wales-related?
Is the animal element specifically human?
(Projoy) Nothing to do with Wales, or its border towns.
(Phil) Animal element human? - YES.
Is there anybody there?
(Rosie) Not a soul.
A fool and his money are soon parted?
I am
(Softers) So true, but not this time.

Hint: The AOTC contains no verb - it's a description.

So that'd be along the lines of a 'Man Mountain' then?
(Dujon) Possibly along those lines, YES.
Duck Face?
(Gusset Login) Not "Duck Face". *some aduience murmurings of approval*
Selfie?
(Gusset Login) Not a selfie.
Is the mineral naturally occurring?
(Dujon) Naturally occurring mineral? NO.
A photo bomb?
atomic or otherwise
Is this something related to some thing people wear?
(GL) Er, not sure what that is, but it ain't the answer.
(Dujon) No relation to anything worn.
Related to "The Arts"?
Something somebody does?
(Phil) The Arts and How They Was Done? NO.
(Software) Not a thing anybody does.
A type of person?
(Raak) Strictly, NO, but we may be getting somewhere. *audience, previously somnolent, now considerably animated*
A fictional character?
A role that someone plays?
(Phil) Fictional? NO. This is about real people.
(Raak) NO, not a role.
A job title?
(Phil) Job title? NO.
Raak's penultimate: The AOTC is not a type of person but describes a type of person.
A Fat Bastard?
A jobsworth?
(Software) Not a Fat Bastard.
(Raak) Not a jobsworth.
It's figurative - see the original definition.
Is this something one would be pleased to be described as?
(Raak) A nice description? Someone described thus may well say yes, but the vast majority, no.
Is the mineral metal?
Trying different line of attack...
(Phil) Is the mineral metal? YES.
Man of iron?
(Software) Not Man of Iron, nor Thatcher. Try just a little further up the Periodic Table.
Is it related to Polonium?
(Gusset Login) Polonium? NO. Not that far up the Periodic Table, nothing like it.
copper?
(Phil) Copper? YES, but not solely.
Bronze Age Man?
(Phil) Bronze Age Man? NO.
Brass neck?
(Software) Damn cheek, but the right answer! A Brass Neck it is. I hand you the brazen stick.
Gosh, I must get out the Brasso.

Now what have we here? The laser display board is showing the audience and the players are getting the clues:

This time it is ANIMAL

An individual?
A human?
Living?
Multi-YES!
In the entertainment industry?
Female?
[Raak] NO, would be the right answer
[GL] NO
Involved in politics?
[GL] In a way, YES.
Seen on TV?
Billy Bragg?
[Chalky] oh YES
[Pro} NO
In charge of a programme?
A presenter on current affairs?
[Rosie] NO
[Raak] NO
A comedian?
Anything to do with sport?
[Rosie] NO
[Raak] NO
An actor?
A peer?
[Phil] Not as such, NO
[Raak] NO
Something to do with 'reality TV'?
[GL] Big Brotherism? NO
Someone's side-kick?
[Rosie] Subordinate? NO very much his own man
Jeremy Clarkson?
Host of a TV programme?
[Raak] Wheel Spheel? absolutely NO
[Phil] Still not a TV presenter NO
known primarily for tv work?
Host of tv programme is not necessarily the same as in charge of one, or a news presenter.
[Phil] forget tv as a main issue NO
Involved in "the Arts"?
A scientist?
[Phil] arty farty? NO
[Rosie] Boffin? NO
Part of the financial world?
A doctor?
[Rosie] Wheeler dealer? NO
[cfm] Dr Whom? NO
Is the TV presence of primary importance?
[Rosie] NO not really but it is of some interest
Well-known primarily in the (still) United Kingdom?
[cfm] NO, pretty well known worldwide I'd say

Recap:
male, well known, not especially TV oriented, not an actor or a presenter but (clue) newsworthy.

[cfm] NO, pretty well known worldwide I'd say

Recap:
male, well known, not especially TV oriented, not an actor or a presenter but (clue) newsworthy.

A tycoon?
[Rosie] NO.
A musician?
[cfm] NO
Journalist?
You forgot to mention 'vague link to politics' in the recap.
[GL] Horrah! YES
Works for the BBC?
Mainly journalises for newspapers?
Piers Morgan?
[Rosie] NO
[Projoy] YES
[GL] Smarmy? NO
Would he be an ex-pat Australian?
[Duj] wizard of Oz? YES now we are cooking with gas!
Clive James?
[Phil] That Oz? NO
Not Rupert sodding Murdoch?
[Rosie] Absolutely NOT! - NO
John Pilger?
[Rosie] Not him either, but stick with the Oz theme. NO
Does this chap have a surname which is also a common given name?
[Duj] Daily Telegraph top 10 boys names? NO
Peter Greste?
Mark Austin?
[Phil] PG? NO
[Chalks] MA NO stick with the Oz theme
Aged over 50?
Leftish tendencies?
Regularly published in a UK Newspaper?
[Phil] > 50? NO
[Rosie] Red under the bed? YESish
[GL] Regular contributor? NO
Given your emphasis on OZ: Was this person involved with the OZ magazines?
Clarification: Oz = Australian. Anyway, the AOTC is under 50
Is this ex-pat Australian now based in the UK?
Richard Flanagan?
[Phil] In the UK? Well, technically, NO (but ponder on that)
[GL] had to Google him NO
Oh, it'll be that moron Julian Assange then, is it?
[Phil] That moron? - YES!

I didn't think that this would have taken so long, never mind, I now hand over the leaky baton to Phil!


Ithangyew, Software! Indeed, I think we could have got there earlier with the right questions. So lets be pressing on with

Animal

Human?
[Software] Human? YES
Alive?
[GL] Alive? NO
Died this century?
Begins with P?
Male?
Western?
Entertainer?
[Raak] 21st century death? NO
[Tuj] P-prefix? NO
[Rosie] Male? YES
[pen] Western? YES (unless you mean in the John Wayne sense)
[GL] ENtertainer? NO
Died before 1950?
[GL] Dead pre 1950? YES
Died before 1850?
Political connection?
[GL] Dead pre 1850? NO
[Software] Political connection? YES-ish
A scientist?
[Raak] Scientist? YES-ish, again
Was he an American inventor?
[Dujon] US Inventor? NO
A non-American Inventor?
Just to cover all bases.
Pre WWII?
German?
[GL] Any other inventor? NO
[Software] pre WWII? Yes
[Raak] German? NO
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?
[Software] Sir A C Doyle? NO
Lewis Carroll?
[Rosie] Lewis Carroll? NO
72 hours without a question.
Time for a quick summary: A non-German western man who died between 1850 and 1939. Minor scientific and political connections. Neither an inventor nor an entertainer. Neither Arthur C Doyle nor Lewis Carroll. In addition, neither his Christian name nor surname begins with P.
On reflection I may have understated his scientific side, but would not call him a scientist.
Was he famous for something other than science and politics?
[GL] Famous outside of Science and Politics? YES *audience awakens from a short snooze*
Known as a philosopher?
Was he a neurologist?
[Raak] Known as a philosopher? NO
[Dujon] Do. neurologist? NO
A strong connection to medicine?
[GL] Strong connection to medicine? YES *some applause*
Louis Pasteur?
[Rosie] Pasteur? NON
Writer?
Was he a native English speaker?
(Yes, Americans and Australians count in this category don't be mean)
[gil] Writer? YES (be careful)
[GL] Native Anglophone? YES
Fiction?
[gil] Fiction writer? NO
British cinematic connection?
[Software] British cinema connection? YES, but only rather tenuously
A week since the last summary
So, all the previous summary plus: he has a strong connection to medicine and is a native English speaker who has written non-fiction works, has a rather tenuous connection to British cinema, is a native English speaker, and not Louis Pasteur, a philosopher or a neurologist. Other than "Western" we still don't know what nationality he is!
Canadian?
[GL] Canadian? NO
Scottish?
[GL] Scottish? YES *More Applause*
Dr Livingstone, I presume...
[gil] Correct. And have a bonus point for the question I was hoping to be asked.
A, V, M, a combination of these, or A
Begins with P?
Smörgåsbord?
[tuj] Doesn't begin with P
[Raak] not sm... what you said
A Scottish 'dish'?
[dujon] not a Scottish dish
Edible?
A collective noun?
Edible? While some varieties of this object are edible, the majority are not. It would mislead you to follow that line.
A collective noun? No. A noun? Yes.
Is the animal part a reptile?
[Dujon] The object on the card may be constituted from one or a number of components, one of which might conceivably be reptilian, though it's unlikely. Equally, another meaning of the above-mentioned object may be abstract. You may therefore assume that the object on the card is general rather than specific. Hope that helps. Actually, I once heard a team on the radio deduce this object in 20 questions to which the answers were restricted to Yes or No.
A work of art?
[Phil] Not a work of art, though I suppose someone could construe a particular example of this object as one. But the general run of objects like this have relatively mundane purposes.
An elephant's foot umbrella stand?
A Ball?
[Software] .... Almost...
[Gusset Login] You Win! Well done.
[Software] .... Almost...
[Gusset Login] You Win! Well done.
Double keypress glitch... Sorry
Next is MINERAL
Metallic?
[gil] Metallic? - No.
Solid?
[Raak] Solid? - No. (Assuming room temperature)
Liquid?
[Phil] Liquid? - No. (Assuming room temperature)
Would the liquid form of this element be rather nippy?
Part of the atmosphere?
[Dujon] Melting point more than 10 degrees Celsius lower than water? - Yes
[Rosie] In the atmosphere? - Yes, but probably not naturally to any great extent.
One of the rare gases?
[Raak] Rare/Noble gas? - No
CFCs?
Methane?
Flatulo ergo sum.
[Software] CFCs? *A smattering of applause* - No
[Rosie] Methane? - No
ozone?
Carbon dioxide?
[gil] ozone? - No
[Raaak] CO2? - No
helium?
Does it have a smell?
[gil] He? - No.
[Rosie] Smelly? - Yes.
Butane?
Hydrogen sulphide?
[Software] Butane? - No.
[Rosie] Hydrogen sulphide? - No.
Is this an NH compound commonly used in fertiliser and cleaning products?
[Dujon] NH? - No. Compound? - No. Commonly used in fertiliser and cleaning products? - Yes and No.
Chlorine?
[gil] Cl? - Yes. Have a baton made of purest chlorine. (Best hold your breath for a bit).
Abstract
Phrase or saying?
An emotion?
Begins with P?
Phrase? No
Emotion? Yes
Begins with P? Yes
Do some people suffer attacks of this for no obvious reason?
Panic?
Anything to do with fear?
Rosie wins. Raak a close second.
(Forgot to mention that Dujon was third. That was more like an attack of mass telepathy than an AVMA round)
Right then, it's ABSTRACT
Justice?
Is this usually a good thing?
(GL) Justice? NO
(gil) To most, YES, but in moderation.
Christmas Cheer?
(GL) Christmas cheer? NO.
Connected with the current season?
An emotion?
(Raak) Advent? NO. (nor any other season)
(Phil) An emotion? NO.
A condition, like peace?
(gil) A condition, such as peace. NO
An attribute, such as speed?
(gil) An attribute? YES, I'd say it is.
A skill?
Is the attribute associated with human beings?
(cfm) A skill? Not as such, but you may need it to bring this about.
(gil) A human attribute? NO.
Existence?
(gil) Existence? Rather less all-encompassing, so NO
(GL) The angular velocity of Resale Price Maintemamce? Sorry, but NO.
... stumped.
A sense?
(Phil) A sense? NO, but you need one of the senses to appreciate this.
A sound?
(Phil) A sound? YES.
The sound of one hand clapping?
Anything to do with steam engines?
(GL) Monochiral applause? NO.
(Phil) Steam engines? NO, although this has been mistakenly attributed to some of them by some writers. Hint I have another great interest.

AOTC is one word, a noun.

Thunder?
The sound of a trombone?
Music?
(Phil) Good guess, but alas WRONG.
(Raak) NO, not the 'bone.
(GL) Music? Well, actually, NO *audience now hyperventilating*
A whistle?
(Phil) A whistle? NO. (nothing to do with steam locos)

"Music" is not the AOTC, but.....

A Fanfare?
(GL) NOT a fanfare.
Muzak?
Melody?
(GL) Muzak? NO.
(gil) Melody? NO.
Jazz?
(Phil) NOT jazz, but heavily related.
Does this noun also describe animal droppings?
Sorry I'm late. The train was delayed.
(Duj) Can't quite see what you're getting at, but NO. molto con cowpat.
Blues?
A particular chord?
(GL) - NO, not the Blues.
(Raak) NO, not as particular.
Improvisation?
Is it a specific piece of music?
(Phil) Not improvisation.
(GL) Not a specific piece of music.
A musical form?
(Raak) A musical form? Strictly speaking NO, but that is in some ways misleading. Call it a feature.
A glissando?
(Phil) A glissandOOOOOoooooo? NO, but you're in the right area.
A trill?
crescendo?
(Raak) NOT a trill.
(gil) NOT a crescendo.

AOTC is one word.

Rhythm?
(Raak) Rhythm? You're getting very close.
Pitch?
Tempo?
(Phil) NOT pitch.
(GL) NOT tempo.
Not all music has the AOTC.
Swing?
(Raak) NOT swing, but swing often has this.
Syncopation?
(Phil) YES! Sin-coper-shone it is. Take this rather confused conductor's baton and proceed strictly alla marcia to The Next Object.
Ooh, a magical music stick
OK, for today's new guess-target, I am going to opt for:

Abstract and Animal

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?
Human?
Santa?
[GL] Rudoplh? NO. Although I wish I had done that now.
[Rosie] Human? YES
[Raak] St Nick? NO
Currently topical?
[Rosie] Topical? NO ... apols for the delay. And happy Christmas
Female?
[GL] Female? YES
Holder of an office?
[Rosie] Office-holder? NO
Alive at this moment?
Fictional?
A witch?
[Rosie] Alive at this moment? NO (although see below)
[GL] Fictional? YES
[Raak] A witch? NO
Did she have a few friends who were small in stature?
Did she once throw a metal bar torn off a street light at a talking lion?
Did she die in the work of fiction for which she is best known?
[Dujon] Friend of little people? NO, at least no more or less than anyone else, on average, I would surmise.
[Raak] Talking-lion-abuser? NO (I'm pretty sure that would have been mentioned, if she had)
[GL] Dead in fiction? NO
Is she best known for appearing in a film?
[GL] Best known as a film role? The answer would be different depending on whom you asked. For me it's a NO
Did she first appear in a book?
Was she created before July 12th 1956?
Raak - first in a book? YES
GL - Pre 12/7/56? YES
A child?
A children's book?
[Rosie] A child? NO
[Raak] Children's book? NO
Is she the title character of the book?
[GL] Title character? NO
A literary character?
[Rosie] Literary? YES
Nineteenth century?
A correction
[Rosie] On reflection "literary" can be taken by some people to mean "from great works of 'Literature'", although I don't know how one would define them. The AotC is a character from fiction, and I have seen her mentioned as a "literary character", although I wouldn't rate the "literature" as "Literature", but some probably would. In all, she's a character from a book or books.
[gil] C19? YES, but not exclusively.
Was the book in English?
Mrs Hudson?
[Raak] In English? YES
[GL] Mrs Hudson? When one has eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, is indeed Mrs Hudson. CORRECT. Congratulations!
Hmm... OK, next up is: ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Is the animal connection human?
[Phil] Human? - No.
Is it a characteristic of a particular animal?
A fictional animal?
[Rosie] A characteristic of a particular animal? No, but there is a connection.
[Phil] Fictional animal(s)? Yes
Mammalian?
[Knobbly] Mammals? Not primarily but some.
Do they talk?
Is it the cast of a particular childrens' book?
[Raak] Talking animals? Thankfully, No.
[Dujon] Cast of a particular children's book? No.
Do such animals also exist (or have they) in the real world?
[Raak] Real animals? Yes. (Or at least something similar in most cases)
Native to UK?
[Software] Native to UK? Some might be, others certainly aren't.
The story so far...
Fictional animals of multiple species almost all of which are non-mammalian and in as far as they can be identified, are probably based on real animals but not UK natives (probably). They are not from a children's book and they don't talk. The character of the animals is important but is not likely to be guessed in a "____ as a [Name of animal]" sense.
Taking a backward step: Did they originally appear in a book?
[Dujon] originally from a book? No but apparently books have been made since (including children's books)
Mythical?
[Raak] Mythical? No.
Bunnyish?
[Software] Non-mammalian bunnies? No.
Earth-based?
[Phil] Earth-based? Yes, but not earth-based versions exist.
Unicellular?
[Raak] Mono-celled? No
Clues
I think everyone is as bored of this as I am. Here are some hints to push the game forward to less boring, more finishing moves.

1. The AOTC is two words. One of these describes the non-mammalian animals and the other is an attribute that sets them apart from the majority of their real world counterparts. The whole is the name of a 21st century abstract that was not originally literature but has since spread to various other media.

2. The mammalian animals are a less well known aspect of the AOTC and except with regard to colour, clearly represent an animal that is common in the UK, US and several other places. The primary animals are less easily identified.
Desert Rats?
Cat girls?
[Phil] Dessert Rats? No (Rats are mammals)
[Rak] Cat Girls? No (Cats and Girls are both mammals)
lizards?
[Raak] lizards? No
Fish?
[Raak] Fish No
Birds?
[Raak] Birds? Yes
Angry Birds?
[Raak] Angry Birds? YES Let me fire this avian baton at you.
Next: MINERAL
Manufactured?
Metal?
[Rosie] Manufactured.
[GL] Partly metal.
Can you (or I) lift it?
Can we lift it? No, yes, or no, from various points of view.
Unique?
[GL] Unique.
Does it belong to a single person?
[Tuj] Does not belong to one person.
Is it a pyramid?
[Dujon] Not a pyramid.
In UK?
(amusement in the audience) Not in the UK.
Bigger than a phone box?
[GL] Smaller than a phone box.
Could it be called art?
Smaller than a breadbox?
[Rosie] Not art. [GL] Larger than a breadbox.
Is it assembled bit by discrete bit?
[Dujon] Assembled piece by piece.
A triangulation point at some particular place?
[Rosie] Not a trig point.
Does it have a technical application?
[Rosie] Yes, it has a technical application.
A light?
[Rosie] Not a light.
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] Yes! Yes, it DOES begin with a P!
Was it manufactured in the twentieth century?
Is it associated with a particular type of geographical feature?
[Kim] Made in the 20th century.
[Rosie] Not associated with a type of geographical feature.
Would it be a product of WWII?
[Dujon] Not a product of WWII.
Oops, my answer to Kim was wrong. On searching out the date of its completion, I find it was not in the 20th century.
A telescope?
[Rosie] Not a telescope.
Philae lander?
And Knobbly scores a hole in one! Have this genuine Rosetta stone. My answer to the weightlifting question is explained by the fact that on Earth, it would weigh about 100 kg, which is more than I've ever bench pressed, but sitting on the comet it's estimated to weigh about 1 gram -- but you can't get there to lift it.
Sorry Tuj, was that where you were heading?
Next up is Vegetable
Is it edible?
Well, someone has to kick it off.
Alive?
Wooden?
Is it unique?
[Knobbly] One letter at a time? No =)
Does it have a practical use?
[Raak]
Hidden textMeasuring weight in g/kg rather than N?
Some catching up to do...
[Dujon] No, not edible (is the least misleading answer, although everything is edible once)
[GL] Yes, alive
[Phil] Yes, wooden *ripple of applause*
[Tuj] Yes, unique (or at least specific)
[Raak] No practical use
Does it live in Sherwood Forest?
Is it unusually old?
Is it a fruit tree?
[Dujon] Not in Sherwood Forest
[Raak] (Back from checking something I probably should have before starting) No, not unusually old
[GL] Not a fruit tree
Is it in the UK?
[Rosie] Yes it is in the UK
A specific sycamore?
[Dujon] Not a sycamore, no
Royal?
Is it a specific tree?
I thought I'd ask in case we were heading in the wrong direction.
Why did the internet eat my post twice?
[Raak] Royal connection, yes indeed
[Dujon] A specific tree, yes
[GL] Yes, an oak!
*Audience beside themselves with mild interest*
Oak Apple Day?
[Software] Not the 29th of May... A custom worthy of revival but not really a specific tree
Is it a son/daughter of a famous oak?
That Royal Oak wherein King Charles II hid from the Roundheads?
[Dujon] Do you know, I can't find out if there was any genetic continuity, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't... I'm going to unilaterally change your question and say yes it is a successor to a famous oak
[Raak] Not that Royal Oak, no
Merlin's Oak?
[Phil] Not Merlin's Oak
One of the Tree Council (UK)'s "Great British Trees" in 2002?
[Phil] Not a Great British Tree
In Kent?
[Phil] Not in Kent
An extant oak tree?
Does the royal aspect of the answer arise from a royal planting the acorn?
[Phil] Yes, an extant oak tree
[Dujon] Hmm... Well, the extant oak tree which is the AOTC was royally planted, but the royal connection was already there. I realise that wasn't a yes/no answer
(Although I rather expect the 'planting' was a photo opp holding a spade next to a sapling rather than heeling in an acorn)
Did the planting happen after the invention of photography?
[GL] Yes, photography had been invented. Can't find a photo though...
It's gone a bit quiet, shall I re-cap?
This Vegetable is a living oak tree, which is not itself unusually old, nor is it one of the Great British Trees. It was royally planted (although a royal connection already existed) and is neither the Royal Oak in which King Charles mk.2 hid, Merlin's Oak or in Kent.
Is it in England?
Being an ex-pat for nigh on sixty years this is becoming something of a guessing game to me. It's time to narrow the focus.
[Dujon] Yes, in jolly old England
Is it north of Watford?
[Raak] Yes, north of Watford.
South of Hadrian's Wall?
Mmm,
That was otiose, reading above.
In Yorkshire?
[Software] Yes, south of Hadrian's damp-course, and not in Yorkshire
North of London (Charing Cross, just in case)
[Phil] Yes, north of London (as implied by being north of Watford)
The Midland Oak?
[Raak] Not the Midland Oak
I'm trying to think of a clue that isn't just giving away the answer...
Selly Oak?
[Phil] Not the Selly Oak
Hidden textTry and find out who the royal is
Is the royal Queen Victoria?
[Raak] Not Queen Vic
Is the royal female?
[Phil] She is a female royal
Queen Anne?
Our current Head of State?
A British royal?
[Raak] Not Queen Anne
[GL] Yes, a British Royal
[Dujon] Yes, the oak you could visit now was planted by our current Head of State but I'm not sure how helpful that is, she must have attended many tree plantings in her time... Keep finding out who the original connection was - I reiterate, she is a female British royal who is neither Queens Victoria nor Anne.
The good old late Queen Mum?
[Software] Not the Queen Mother
QE 1?
[Raak] Yes, Queen Liz the 1th
Is there also a direct connection to QE1's sister Mary?
I think the answer must be what you find if you google "Queen Elizabeth I" and "oak", but I'm going to be away a lot in the next few weeks, so I'll leave it to someone else.
[Dujon] Yes, a connection to Queen Mary also
[Raak] You can find the answer that way, yes... Who will do so?
Queen Elizabeth Oak, at Hatfield House?
Absolutely right... you even chose the right Queen Elizabeth Oak (not the one in Cowdray Park). The current tree was planted by QE2 in 1985 on the site of the original tree, beneath which Elizabeth was sat when told that Queen Mary had died and she was now the queen.
I really didn't think I'd chosen a hard one...
I pass Phil the baton, made of exquisitely turned english oak.
Re - hard ones
[Knobbly] It happens. I remember setting Jeffrey Dahmer a few years ago, and was astonished to find no-one knew who he was. He's a household name in our family. But, thanks to Google, and Raak, I've know heard of Hatfield, its house, and its trees.

Mineral, Animal and Vegetable

Human construct?
A town or city?
Does it begin with P?
[Knobbly] Well lasted =)
[Software] Human Construct? Ummm, no, I don't think so (although I've always been rather vague about what "human construct" means).
[GL] Town or city? NEITHER
[Tuj] Pstarted? NO
Bigger than a K6 telephone box?
Is there just one?
Is either the Animal or Vegetable human?
[Software] Bigger than telephone box? YES
[Raak] Unique? YES
[GL} Human? NO
Is it in Britain?
[Raak] In Britain? YES. most definitely
A building?
[Software] A building? NO, although it includes a building or buildings
Is it a region of some description?
Some form of animal sanctuary?
[Knobbly] a region? NO
[Rosie] an animal sanctuary? NO *much laughter*
A farm, then?
[Rosie] Farm? YES, slightly surprisingly
Chalk Farm?
[GL] Chalk Farm? NO
On reflection, my answer to Is the Animal or Vegetable human? could be YES - with a little chuckle from the audience.
A non-fictional real-life farm? (...which we've heard of?)
[Knobbly] YES-ish. You will have heard of it, I expect, but you may not be aware that it functions as a farm.
A royal estate?
Belonging to the Prince of Wales?
[Dujon] Royal estate? NO *audience wakes up*
[Raak] PoW-owned? NO
Belonging to a religious institution?
[Raak] Religious? NO
Is it a tourist destination?
[Raak] Tourist destination? NO, or if it is I'd be surprised
Is this farm maintained by people detained at Her Majesty's pleasure?
[Dujon] HMP-farm? NO
Is it in England?
[Raak] In England? YES
Does anyone live there except the farmers?
[Raak] Non-farming inhabitants? YES
Privately owned?
[Raak] Privately owned? NO *some applause*
Porton Down?
[Rosie] Porton Down? NO
Is it in a National Park?
[Raak] in a National Park? NO, but it is in an AONB
Stonehenge?
[Software] Stonehenge? NO
A similar monument?
A research establishment?
[Software] Stonehengey-type-monument? NO
[Rosie] Research establishment? NO
Some clues from answers already given
"Royal estate" woke the audience up, but it's not privately owned, and not owned by Prince Charles. It includes buildings and farmland, and is in an Area of Outstanding National Beauty in England.
Longleat?
Ah ... just spotted the 'not privately owned' bit. Scrub that attempt please.
The New Forest?
[Chalky] New Forest? NO (and not Longleat either, of course)
In Cornwall?
[Rosie] Cornwall? NO
Another clue
In the Home Counties
Legoland?
Hampton Court?
Aha! NOT a tourist destination eh?
Um, the estate surrounding Hampton Court containing the piggeries and grouse shooting, where tourists never go?
[Software & Raak] Neither Legoland, nor Hampton Court. Nor the estate surrounding it.
The Chilterns?
[Chalky] The Chilterns? NO *huge applause from audience who thought it was all over, for a moment*
The Chiltern Hundreds?
[Raak] Chiltern 100s? NO *Audience apologises for over-reacting earlier, leading to the thought that "chiltern" is in the answer*
One of the nuclear places near the Kennett valley?.
Is it an SSSI?
[Rosie] One of those nuclear type things? NO
[Chalky] An SSSI? NO, but I think it includes part of one, but I can't be 100% sure.
The Ridgeway?
[Chalky] Ridgeway? NO, but the Ridgeway does pass through it. *Applause, from me for remembering where I've been recently, and from the audience too
Salisbury Plain?
So-called. Actually the very opposite.
Chequers?
... piecing together the clues
Uffington White Horse?
[Rosie] Salisbury Plain? NO
[Software] Uffington White Horse? NO (although I was there the day before I was at the AOTC, in Feb this year)
[Chalky] Chequers? YES - the estate, that is, rather than just the house that lies within. And what splendid timing for me to hand over the leadership of this fine game to you, given that we don't yet know who'll be spending their weekends there for the next five years.
We do now.

Time for an ANIMAL
Human?
A politician?
[Software] Human? NO
[Raak] A politician? NO
Is there just one?
Is it a dog?
A mammal?
Begins with P?
[Raak] Just one? NO
[GL] A dog? NO
[Rosie] A mammal? Yes
[Tuj] Begins with a P? Yes! The latin name.
Is it feline?
[GL] Feline? NO
Orang-utan?
[GL] Orang-utan? NO
Carnivoran?
Generally considered edible in Europe?
Bandicoot?
[Knobbly] Carnivoran? NO
[Phil] edible in Europe? Doubt it .. No
[GL] Bandicoot? NO
Bigger than a toaster?
Chimp?
Regarded as a pest?
Thank you for your patience ..
[Raak] Bigger than a toaster? About the same ... except for the sticky out bits
[GL] Chimp? NO
[Rosie] Regarded as a pest? I don't believe so.
Kept as a pet?
[Raak] Kept as a pet? Not usually but no reason why not ..
Nocturnal?
[Rosie] Nocturnal? YES!
Racoon?
Sloth?
[ GL] Racoon? NO
[Softers] Sloth? No ... but quite a good guess.
A badger?
A pangolin?
[Rosie] Badger? NO
[Raak] Pangolin? NO
Found in the wild in Britain?
Is it arboreal?
[Rosie] ... wild in Britain? NO
[Dujon] Arborial? YES! *audience cheers*
Is it a bird?
Civet?
[Phil] Bird? NO
[GL] Civet? NO
Is its native continent South America?
[Dujon] native of S America? NO
A Primate?
[GL] A primate? NO
Koala?
[GL] Koala? NO. Are they nocturnal?
clue: nocturnal ... arborial... nocturnal ... arborial
Is it native to China?
African Native?
[Knobbly] native to China? NO
[GL] ... or Africa? NO
A chimpanzee?
[Raak] chimpanzee? I refer the honourable gentleman to my reply above ...
nocturnal ... mammal ... nocturnal ... arborial
Hmm... does it fly? - either actually or 'falling in style'
Some lizardy thing like a chameleon?
Phalangeriforme?
[Knobbly] YesYesYesYes! Now just name it.
[Rosie] Not lizardy
[GL] phalangeriforme? Apparently no
I think it's too soon to be my turn again... *I turn my back and feign great interest in that thingummy over there*
Please please release me from this Knobbly! #thoughtitwasgoingtobeaquickie
Pteromyini?
more googling ...
[GL] Pteromyini? Veryvery close - but I believe they are omnivorous.
If somebody doesn't guess this before 0700 BST 27 May 2015 ...
Known for its winged fingers?
[Raak] winged fingers? Yes
... further investigation reveals it can be found in China, although it didn't originate there. (Apologies Knobbly)
answer
It was the Indian Flying Fox (pteropus giganteus) aka Greater Indian Fruit Bat in the Pteropodidae family.
A certain degree of exasperation
Who could possibly have guessed that? In any case all fruit bats are called Eric and come from Guildford.
[Rosie] Not me obviously, though I had a good try at guessing it.

If no one objects, I guess I'll pick up the dropped baton. You have until 10am (BST) 29th May to object
Fire away, GL.
OK. Hopefully a slightly harder one. VEGETABLE
A hard vegetable. Is it a turnip?
[Stevie] A turnip (for the books)? - No. *Someone claps briefly*
Celeriac?
Grown for consumption?
Begins with P?
[Raak] Celeriac? - No
[Rosie] Grown to be eaten? - Yes
[Tuj] Begins with P? - Yes
A parsnip?
[Rosie] Parsnip? - Yes.
Good heavens, it's me. In that case it's

ABSTRACT

An Emotion?
(GL) I am disconsolately sad to tell you that it is not.
Weather-related?
Begins with P?
(Raak) Nothing to do with the weather
(Tuj) Begins with P? NO (but it could do).
Phrase or saying?
Is the answer on the card a single word?
(Sofware) Not a phrase or saying.
(Tuj) Single word? YES (plus the indefinite article).
Would it exist without humans?
(Knobbly) Exist without humans? YES.
Is it an action?
(Tuj) Not an action.
Is the indefinite article "an"?
A phenomenon ?
(GL) The indefinite article? NOT "An".
(Software) A phenomenon? NO, not really.
Would it exist without lifeforms?
(Tuj) Exist without lifeforms? YES, it could.
A sound?
(GL) A sound? YES. *audience erupts*
Is it onomatopoeic?
Is this a useful question?
(Knobbly) Unlike a cat, does not on a mat appear. (Shurely all questions are useful).
Whispering?
to kick start this one again
(Software) NO, not whispering.
Is it geological?
A tree falling in the forest?
(Knobbly) Geological? NO.
(Softers) The unseen and unheard tree? NO.

In a desperate bid to do something about the terrifying speed of this one I could mention that the AOTC is connected with an interest of mine, but not steam locos.

Lost for words
Not weather or locos? What does that leave, then? Sex? Beer?
Flattered
(Software) We have met, haven't we?
The sound made by the opening of a can of London Pride?
Oh, yes.
<mode="Lady Bracknell"> A CAN? </mode>. Not the sound suggested.
Oh, all right - a bottle then?
(Software) Not a bottle. Nothing to do with booze.
Astronomy related?
Just popping by.
(Boolbar) Stargazing? NO.
Is it associated with music?
(Robin) Music? YESSSSS! *audience, previously comatose, now resembles a football crowd whose side has just scored.*
A Flat?
(GL) Not A flat, not G sharp either.
F Natural?
(GL) Not F. (Not a Key).
A wind chime?
(Softers) NO, not a wind chime.
a rhythm?
(Knobbly) NO - not a rhythm. A different aspect of music.
If I may sum up, some
So, an aspect of music which, moreover, would exist without life-forms... Beginning with a consonant which isn't P (but confusingly could be)
Molto adagio
(Knobbly) Orl krekt.
The blistering pace of this one
It's a musical term, found also in ordinary speech.
Is the AOTC an italian term?
Is there anybody else out there?
(Knobbly) Italian? YES, it certainly is.
Piano?
(Softers) Piano? NO.
Fortisomo?
(Softers) ff? NO, but you're getting there.
Allegro?
Not the Leyalnd version - oh, no.
(Softers) Allegro? NO. The AOTC is not an adjective.
Presto?
(Softers) Even faster? NO. Presto is an adjective. I dunno - man of your calibre.
Intermezzo?
(Knobbly) Not an intermezzo. The AOTC is usually abbreviated.
Ah, in that case is the abbreviation 'cresc.'?
YAY, it be that. Say it again, louder. KNOBBLY is the winner. Take this conductor's baton and whack it on the music stand louder and louder until everyone else has woken up.
Actually I was trying not to win by not giving the AOTC, but since you've given me this baton I may as well wave it about a bit...
OK, this is hopefully an easy MINERAL.
Metal?
(Rosie) Not a metal
A manufactured object?
Solid?
(Rosie) Not manufactured
(GL) Solid, YES.
Something dug up from the earth?
What's mined is yours...
(Rosie) No, not dug up.
Found lying around?
(Software) Lying around? I'm going to go with no... Although I'm not sure how helpful or right that is
Does it come from space?
Is it unique?
(Raak) Extra-terrestrial? No
(Gussy[if I may call you that]) The one-and-only? YES (or at least, the AOTC is specific)
A lake?
A geographical feature?
(Rosie) No, not a lake but...
(Software) YES, a geographical feature
Bigger than the Isle of Wight?
Smaller than the Isle of Wight?
An area of sea-water?
Ayres Rock?
(Raak & GL) Smaller than IoW in area, which was surprisingly hard to find out. Strangely couldn't find it anywhere and had to work it out myself.
(Rosie) Not sea-water
(Software) Not Ayer's Rock
In the Northern hemisphere?
(Tuj) Not Northern hemisphere, no
Zambesi Falls?
A Mountain?
[Rosie] I don't believe the falls or an area of sea water would count as solid.
(Rosie) Zambezi Falls? No
(GL) YES, a mountain *applause*
Higher than 20,000 ft (6096 m)?
Everest?
(Rosie) Not higher than 20,000 ft
(GL)Not Everest
Shorter than 1,000 ft?
Kilimanjaro?
Lurkers R Us
(GL) Not shorter than 1,000ft
(CdM) Not Kilimanjaro
In Africa?
(Rosie) Not African
Vinson Massif?
A volcano?
(GL)Vinson Massif- Is he? I mean, no
(Rosie) A volcano? YES. *Audience erupts...*
Near the equator?
Etna?
(Rosie) Not near the equator (for any sensible value of 'near')
(Software) Not Etna
Calbuco, Chile?
(Rosie) Not Calbuco
Erupted in the last 100 years?
(Raak) YES, erupted in last 100 years
Puyehue-Cordón Caulle?
(GL) Puy-what-you-said - no
On a small island?
(Rosie) I wouldn't call it a small island, no.
Mt Erebus?
(Rosie) Not Mt Erebus
Erupted in 1956?
(Raak) 1956 eruption? Not as far as I can find out
In Antarctica?
(Rosie) Not in Antarctica
in the Philippines?
(CdM) Not in the Philippines neither
All right. How about Indonesia?
(CdM) No, but keep going...
One week later round up...
So, it's a volcano in the Southern hemisphere, between 1,000 and 20,000 ft high which isn't near the equator, in Antarctica, the Phillipines or Indonesia. It has erupted in the last 100 years, but not in 1956. It also isn't Mt Erebus or Puyehue-Cordón Caulle...
Did it erupt this century?
Did it cause much death and destruction?
(GL) Erupted this century? YES. (Rosie) Much death and destruction? I'm not sure what the standardised scale of death and destruction is, but I would say no.
In Chile?
(Rosie) Not in Chile.
Caribbean?
(SW) Not Caribbean.
Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean on an island that isn't particularly small?
(CdM) On a not-small island in the Pacific? YES.
I wonder if anyone will disagree with any of my previous answers when the answer is reached?
Mt Ruapehu? Or failing that, another Kiwi volcano like Tongarairo or White Island?
(Pablo) Mt Ruapehu? Why, YES. *Wild applause*
Let us rub noses ... Thank you.
Passing the baton to Pablo.
Pablo seems to have buggered orff.
He was in the limerick game yesterday...
I think he's forgotten about this. Maybe a gentle nudge would be in order.
We're waiting for you
Still waiting
I gave him a gentle oblique nudge then a less gentle more direct one. What does one do, within the bounds of propriety and etiquette? FIIK.
Runner-up?
I think CdM was coming up on the answer... maybe he (?) would like to take over?
Impatience
(knobbly) Somebody ought to. I can't understand why Pablo seems to have gone on the blink. Anybody got his phone number?
well...
I'm not convinced that Pablo is the Pablo we think it is. Or someone (e.g. Gusset Login) typed 'Pablo' by accident instead of their own name, for reasons unknown.
It wasn't me
But, if it gets the game running again, I'd happily pick up the baton if asked.
Fine by me...
(GL) I'm happy for you to pick up the dropped baton, if there are no objections from the floor - it is nearly a month since my round was won...
No objections from this bit of old linoleum so go ahead, GL.

Very well. A new one and it's an ANIMAL
Is it one unique animal?
[Phil] Unique animal? - Yes.
A human?
[Rosie] Human? - Yes.
Living?
British, be damned?
In the news?
[blamelewis] Living? - Yes.
[Software] British? - Yes.
[Rosie] In the news? - Sometimes
Royal connections?
[Software] Royal Connections? - They are not royal.
A performer of sorts?
[Knobbly] Performer of sorts? - Not as such
Politician?
[Chalky] In Politics? - Yes
Jeremy Corbyn?
[Software] The Jez Meister? - No
Male?
[Phil] Male? - Yes
Any legal connections?
[Rosie] Legal connections? - Well, he is in politics. So, of course, there are connections to the law.
Tory?
[Software] A blue-ribboner? - Yes
A Cabinet member?
Minister of Cockney Rhyming Slang - Jeremy Hunt?
[Rosie] Cabinet member? - Yes
[Software] Total Hunt? - No
George Osborne?
As he insists on calling himself.
[Rosie] George "Dramatic Pose" Osborne? - No
IDS?
[Software] Irritable Duncan Syndrome? - No
Michael Gove?
(the MP that keeps on goving)
Sajid Javid?
working through ...
[Phil] Govey? - No
[Software] Javid? - No
Hint: Don't work through, work up.
Not Dave? (Cameron)
[Rosie] Not Dave? - No it's not Not Dave. It is Dave. I don't whether that should count as a yes or a no.
David Mundell?
A fush oo' a wa'er.
Getting a little impatient.
I have internets again! Sorry for the silence.

[Rosie] David Mundell - No, as I said, it's the Dave you guessed it wasn't.
David Cameron?
Software DC? - Yes
Well I am blowed, who'd have thought, so obvious really Eton and all that. Now let me think .....

Ah, yes!

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.

Animals human?
i.e. Not Millwall
[Rosie] people? - YES.
To do with politics?
[Raak] political? probably the right answer is NO
Is the mineral connection water?
Is the vegetable connection wood?
[Rosie] water? - NO * much chuckling in the audience *
[Phil] wood? - NO - well,not directly but it may figure somewhere, not sure that this is actually helpful
To do with mineral resources?
Does it begin with P?
[Raak] ores? - NO
[Tuj] P? - YES one of the three words on the card does. (including the definite article)
Is a liquid involved?
A desert?
[Phil] Liquid? - YES. * chuckling in audience *
[Rosie] Desert? - NO
The Pacific Ocean?
Is it fit for human consumption?
Is the liquid an organic compound?
[GL] Pacific? - NO
[Phil] Drinkable? - YES
[Rosie] Organic? - YES
The petroleum industry?
Is alcohol involved?
[Rosie] Gas? - NO is probably the correct answer but I suppose it could be.
[Phil] Booze? YES * spattering of claps from the audience *
A type of beer?
[Phil] A variety of the brewing process? - NO but certainly involved in the ATOC
A bottle of champagne?
[Rosie] Bubbly? - NO but could certainly be involved in the ATOC
Is the AOTC associated with a particular place?
[Tuj] Localle? - NO

* HINT: the ATOC has 3 words including the definite article *

Is the word that starts with P pub?
[Knobbly] P = Pub? - NO * a smattering of clapping from the audience *
Is the 'p' word = Punch?
[Chalky (welcome back)] P = Punch? - NO * more clapping in the audience *
A type of wine?
[Phil] Cru? - NO * a little more clapping in the audience *

Reprise:
ATOC 3 words including the definite article;
One begins with 'P';
Alcohol of some sort involved.

Does the word "party" appear on the card?
Is it seasonal?
[CdM] Party - YES! * Audience goes wild with applause *
[GL] Seasonal - YES! * Audience now agog with expectation *
The Easter Party?
[GL] Easter? (* wonders why Easter? *) - NO * clapping from audience *
The Christmas Party?
[Phil] Xmas? - NO * audience wild with anticipation! *
The Summer Party?
Keep going, we'll find the right season soon.
[GL] Summer? you seem to have a penchant for the warmer weather - * audience wild with anticipation *
The Dinner Party?
[Phil] Dinner? - NO * audience still on the edge of their seats *
The Hogmanay Party?
[GL] Jock do? - NO * audience cannot believe that nobody has got it yet! *

HINT: There are lots this time of year

I shall be on the plane to the USA in the morning so may not get back online for a day or two.
The Hanukkah Party?
Christmas party has already gone and I'm struggling to think of any other sort that happens at this time of year.
The Office Party?
Ding!
Phil has it. * Hands over the photocopied bum to Phil *
When I was self-employed, the office party was a disaster. I got off with myself and didn't speak to myself for the whole of January. I tried to phone in sick the next morning, but it was engaged every time.

So, onwards and outwards. Your next challenge is

Animal

Human?
Alive?
Male?
Apols for delay
[Software] Human? NO
[GL] Alive? NO
[Rosie] Male? YES
Dead While Male?
Sorry, that was meant to be "Dead White Male?"
Lassie?
[Raak] Are you saying that white people aren't human?
[Raak] Dead White Male? YNY (taking white strictly as a colour rather than race, as humans are not involved)
[GL] Lassie? NO
Fictional?
A specific individual?
Oops, missed that the answer to human was no.
[Rosie] Fictional? NO
[Raak] An individual? YES
a dead male dog?
[Chalky] Dead male dog? NO
Mao Tse Tung?
Died since the start of the 20th century?
The lion shot by that American dentist?
Died in 2015?
Does it begin with P?
HNY!
[Software] Mao Tse Tung? NO, I think he was human wasn't he?
[Raak] died post 1899? NO
[Rosie] Cecil the dentally-deceased Lion? NO
[GL] died in 2015? NO (see also two lines above)
[TUJ] P-something? NO, but HNY to you too :)
Bucephalus?
The only named pre-XX animal that comes to mind.
[Raak] Bucephalus? NO, not that long ago
The last dodo?
[Tuj] Last dodo? NO
a dead male sea creature?
Post AD 1?
[Chalky] DM sea creature? NO
[Software] Post AD 1? YES
Was it a bear?
Was it a bird?
[Raak] Bear? NO
[Chalky] Bird? NO
[Anyone who cares] It wasn't Superman either :-)
Was it a mammal?
Phil
[Chalky wc] A Mammal? YES

To summarise: A specific non-fictional individual male mammal that died between 1 AD and 1899 AD. It's not a human, a dog, a bird, a bear or a sea creature, and doesn't begin with P.

Did it spend any part of its life in the UK (including territorial waters)?
Was it a horse?
[Raak] UK-resident at some point? YES *some applause*
[Tuj] A horse? NO
Did it live in a zoo?
[Knobbly] Zoo-resident? YES, but not exclusively *more applause*
Trim - the cat who sort of discovered Australia?
Primate?
[Chalky] Trim the cat? NO
[Software] Primate? NO
A domesticated zebra?
Was it killed by a human?
[Raak] Zebra? NO
[Rosie] Killed by a human? YES (or human action, at least)
Wild animal?
[Software] Wild? Originally, YES.
Was it larger than a standard sized Fridge-Freezer?
Was it the last individual of its species?
[Chalky] bigger than a fridge freezer? YES *much applause*
[Knobbly] last of its kind? NO
Ooh, was it an elephant?
Killed by a train?
[Tuj] An elephant? YES *much applause*
[GL] Killed by a train? YES *even more applause
Then it must be Jumbo?
[Chalky] Jumbo the Elephant? YES

One of my favourite animals, simply because the word "jumbo" didn't exist prior to his naming. cf. Little Tich

Here, Chalky, take this pre-1947 ivory baton.


Ooh thanks Phil. Nice one and kudos to Tuj and GL for paving the way.
The next one is ABSTRACT with significant ANIMAL connections
Is it an emotion?
Aha! So there *is* life out there ..
[Rosie] An emotion? NO
Begins with P?
A human concept?
A fictional person?
Art?
[Tuj] Begins with a P? NO ... but ripple of applause can be detected
[Software] A human concept? YES
[GL] A fictional person? YES
[Dujon] Art? What is Art?
Character in a novel?
[Software] Character in a novel? YES *audience erupts into cheers*
Tarzan?
[Software] Tarzan? NO
Kim?
Is the animal connection a dog?
[Software] Kim? NO
[Raak] Animal connection a dog? NO
Does the character have a figurative meaning? e.g. Scrooge
[Rosie] Figurative meaning? NO
Does it originate in the British Isles?
Human?
[penelope] Originate in British Isles ? YES
[GL] Human? YES
Was the novel written after 1900?
Does the novel title begin with P?
[Rosie] After 1900? YES
[CdM] P word in title? YES
*audience senses a finish and cheers accordingly*
Is anyone willing to guess the obvious, thereby putting themself in the chair for the next puzzler?
Sure. What is it?
Is the character male?
Ronny Heaslop
That's got to be right. Because, seriously, how many non-figurative characters in post-1900 British novels with a word in the title that begins with P can there be?
... giving it all away
[GL] It's a girl
[Tuj] Male? NO
[CdM] Ronnie Heaslop? NO. And the play/novel has two P words.
... and it's linked to Phil's previous solution.
[Chalky] Oh, that's just darling.
Remind me never to play this game again ...
Aw, Chalks, don't be upset.
Frankly this one has stumped me.
Peter Pan?
(Chalky) Memo: Never play this game again.
[Chalky] I hope that comment made sense! If my guess is wrong, it probably just seemed weird (or worse, obnoxious).
with a woo and a hoo
A WINNER AT LAST! Wendy from Peter Pan it is!
Well played Rosie and CdM :)
Here - argue over this wand-shaped baton I nicked from Tinkerbell.
(Chalky) You beast.

And the next object is ABSTRACT


An Emotion?
Is there but a single word on the card?
[Chalky] I think when you said it was obvious, we all backed off presuming it must be obvious to somebody, somebody else...
(GL) Not an emotion.
(Tuj) A single word plus the indefinite article.
A silent P, obviously
Does the indefinite article begin with P?
(CdM) Of course - 's a particle innit.
Is it a human invention?
An expression?
Well done you old bu**er
(Tuj) NO, not a human invention.
(Softers) Essentially NO, but can be used figuratively, just about.
A ghost?
(Software) Not a ghost.
Is it visible?
There's not much to go on so far...
Is it fictional?
(Knobbly) Not visible, though its effects may well be.
(Raak) Not fictional.

I should add, perhaps, that the AOTC has a kind of material connection and that this would normally be thought of as Mineral.

A type of air movement?
(Dujon) Air movement? NO, but it could be said there's a connection, stretching a point.
An unfortunate brush?
(Software) NO, not an unfortunate brush.
Any political connection?
(Software) NO political connection whatever.
Has it always existed as an idea?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
(Tuj) I would say YES.
(Chalky) Could be. Could be any size. Its dimensions in its physical manifestation are irrelevant.
An emotion?
(Software) NO, not an emotion
OK, is it audible?
At last a customer
(Knobbly) Audible? NO, most definitely not.
Iron will?
(Softers) Ferrous (or ferric) determination? NO. It's not a human quality.
An ill wind?
Oh, dear. I am struggling with this.
(Softers) NO, by definition impossible.
Rock solid?
Any chance of a clue?
(Software) Rock solid? NO, for the same reason as before. This is not difficult; in fact there's nothing to it, really.
A vacuum?
(Raak) YES! A total absence of material entities. Now give us something easy FFS.
Vegetable and Mineral, with Abstract connections
Vegetable wood?
Yes, the vegetable is wood.
Is this some kind of machine or device?
Abstract religious?
[Rosie] Not really a machine or device.
[Dujon] Not religious.
Unique?
Is the AOTC the title of some work?
Not the title of a work.
Is the mineral metal?
Yes, the mineral is metal.
Unique?
Not unique.
Does it begin with P?
Does not begin with a P.
Found in the house?
Not typically. That is, the typical house would not contain any of these, and the typical one of these would not be in a house.
Would I be in danger of cutting myself on it?
You cannot cut yourself on one.
Mass produced?
Um...there are rather a lot of these, but I can't find any information about whether they are made on an automated production line.
Used in a sport or game?
Not used in a sport or game.
Do they tend to be found in particular areas of the world?
A fixture?
Not in particular areas of the world.
Not a fixture.
A garden shed?
Not a garden shed. I'd expect those to be fixtures, although I suppose you could put wheels on one and tow it on holiday with you.
Can these things be lifted by one man?
Yes, one man can lift one of these.
That is, any reasonably fit man, not one particular Schwarzenegger.
A barrel?
*cheering* Yes, a barrel. But can you be more specific? Bear in mind the abstract connection.
A Barrel of laughs?
Not a barrel of laughs.
A beer barrel
Specifically, real ale :)
Not necessarily a beer barrel.
A firkin?
Not a firkin.
A biscuit barrel?
Not a biscuit barrel.
Hint: It's not about what's in it ? quite the opposite!
The "?" was supposed to be a "?".
Er, not quite. It was supposed to be a "—". Let's see if that gets through.
Scraping the bottom of the barrel?
Scraping etc.? No, but that's more in the right direction.
The first word is the indefinite article.
A barrel organ?
Perhaps penelope could rustle a Dutch one up.
Not a barrel organ.
Do we have a stuck fermentation of ideas? A sort of barrel, that features in a figurative expression or saying.
A sort of barrel that has fish in it that can be easily shot
OK, that's probably not right.
There's a surprisingly lage number of figurative expressions involving barrels. Fish, for the shooting of, is not the one.
"lage": a synonym for "several", used of a severality that due to attentional bias one experiences as surprisingly larger than 1.
A barrel of laughs?
Not a barrel of laughs. Hint: nor a barrel of anything else!
An empty barrel?
YES! *the crowd's applause is drowned out by a tap on the side of one*
Oh, dear. Being a smartar*e I am now lumbered with the spile-shaped batton.
Let me think. Ah, yes! abstract with strong animal, vegetable and mineral connections.
The sound made by a tree falling in the forest when no-one is present to hear it?
[Raak] NO - abstract but not metaphysical
A fictional animal?
An organisation?
A stock phrase or saying?
[GL] Fictional? - NO
[Rosie] Organization? - YES
[Raak] Phrase or Saying? - NO
Created after 1900?
A governmental organisation?
Based in Europe?
Sorry for delay, have been away.
[Rosie] After 1900? - YES
[Raak] Big Brother? - NO
[GL] European? - YES
A scientific organisation?
[Raak] Scientific? - NO * audience chuckles *
A cult?
An NGO?
[Raak] cult? - NO * some guffawing in the audience * (well, some might say it is)
[Bismarck] NGO? - Mmmm. Tricky, probably NO
The National Trust?
Is it classed as a charity /not-for-profit?
A religion?
[Rosie] NT? - NO
[Bismarck] Charitable? - NO * more audience chuckling *
[Phil] Godbothering? - NO * further tittering *
Do they sponsor a football team?
Does it have its own URL?
The Mafia?
[Bismarck] Sponsorship? - NO
[Raak] URL? Why, YES
[Rosie] Those nice Sicilian gentlemen? - NO
An organised religion, then?
I'm taking a clue from the audience here...
Recapitulons, mes amis...
Post-1900 European company, with pretensions among supporters to be quasi-religious and quasi-scientific, yet not an NGO and not important enough to sponsor the footie. Neither the Mafia, nor their cousins the NT. Links to animal, vegetable and mineral. Hmmmm.
Are they able to ban people from the exercise of their professions?
[Knobbly] Godbothering with form? - NO * Phil ruled that out *
[Bismarck] - Big Stick? - NO
Does it begin with P?
...just to show gratitude for Bismarck's efforts by making a considered contribution ;)
The East India Company?
Do ships enter into this at all?
Eton?
[Tuj] P-ish? - NO (not one to be seen in the AOTC)
[Raak] Bubble? - NO (the right number of words, though)
[Bismarck] - Harbourish? - NO
[Rosie] The origin of our present governing classes? - NO
Is this a real-life organisation, or one that exists only on a screen?
[Bismarck] Real or imagery? - er, YES. * sporadic clapping from audience *
Logical NOR should have been used in previous question. Ahem. Is this an imaginary company?
[Bismarck] Virtual? - NO

Hint: The AOTC has 4 words one being the definite article it exists on screen.

The League of Gentlemen?
Never watched it; only vaguely even heard of it; but it popped into my head after reading over the game so I thought I'd go for an audacious lurker's victory.
[CdM] LOG? - NO
The Great Western Railway?
Is the third word "of"?
[Rosie] God's Wonderful Railway? - sadly, NO
[Raak] of-ly? NO

* audience shuffling *

Is this organisation viewed favourably by the British population?
[Rosie] Favourable to the Brits - mmmm, NO (not lately, anyway)
The European Court of Justice?
[Rosie] ECoJ? - NO * sporadic clapping from audience *
The Arsenal?
[Bimarck] The Gunners? - NO. * audience getting restless *
A political party?
Ah... do I hear a few bars of the prelude to Charpentier's Te Deum?
The European Court of Human Rights?
Well, it IS down the road from me...
[Bismarck] Party? - NO
[nights] ECHR? - NO * a few random claps from the audience *
Was my guess a bit too subtle? Is it the European Broadcasting Union?
[Knobbly] EBU? - NO * audience wakes up with enthusiastic clapping *
Is this a European attempt to celebrate the diversity of culture?
[Bismarck] multicultural? - YES! * audience getting excited *
Musical culture?
[Bismarck] music? - YES! * audience wild with anticipation *
The Eurovision Song Contest?
[Rosie] Tat for the masses? - YES!!!! at last.

Hands over the tacky microphone-shaped baton to Rosie


I could object that the Eurovision Song Contest is not an organisation (whereas the EBU is which is why I went for that), but I wouldn't want to be accused of taking this too seriously.
I also don't want the baton at the moment.
As you were...

Blast! beaten to it. Rosie, congratulations. May your all dihydrogen oxide be changed to dihydrogen dioxide for twenty milliseconds.
Peroxide blonde
(Bismarck) Now you see it, now you don't.
And the next object is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Human animal?
(Softers) Human? Humans are involved but essentially NO.
Is it green?
Does it begin with P?
Does it make a noise?
Can I live without it?
Sorry for the delay
(Bismarck) NO, not green.
(Tuj) P? Not in any language I can think of.
(Knobbly) A noise? YES, it must have done.
(Boolbar) Essential for life? NO.
The Llangollen Amateur Vivisectionists' Society! It just came to me in a flash.
(Bismarck) Dee-scission? I'm afraid not.
Fictional?
Fictional?
Oops.
Fictional?
The Big Bang?
Going for an early attempt...
Is it a human invention?
(Raak + Gusset Login) NO, not fictional.
(Knobbly) NO, not the Big Bang.
(Tuj) YES, human, but I wouldn't call it an invention.
A philosophical concept?
(Raak) NO, not philosophical, not a concept.
Does it still exist?
(Bismarck) Still exist? NO.
Associated with a particular geographical locale?
Also, could you clarify an earlier answer? When Boolbar asked "Can I live without it?", was your answer of "NO" directed to that question or your contrarily-rephrased "Essential for life?"?
(Tuj) Point taken. The rephrasing had got a bit out of hand. The answer to "Can I live without it?" is YES. As for your actual question, the answer is YES, followed by *audience animation*.
Todo with the planet taken as a whole?
Animal bit-were they raised for food?
(Raak) NO, not to do with the whole planet.
(Bismarck) For food? YES.
May not be able to have another guess for a while, so I'll try bovine spongiform encephalitis.
Did it exist for a specific period of time?
[Rosie] An animated audience, eh? At least no people were harmed in the making of assistance-giving reactions =)
(Bismarck) Mad cow? Now who am I thinking of? I'm afraid the answer is NO.
(Tuj) YES. *even more audience animation*
Powdered egg?
Some sort of public event?
(Softers) Powdered egg? Good stuff - it wasn't even on the ration IIRC. But NOT the answer.
(Raak) A public event? Certainly not intended as such though most of the public would be aware of it.
Cheese rolling?
Cheese rolling? Er, NO.
Did it happen in the UK?
(Bismarck) In the UK? Essentially NO, though I suspect some elements of it did.
A global event?
(Softers) NO, not global
was the specific geographic locale in Europe?
(Bismarck) In Europe? Well, YES, sort of.
Confusticated... has a 'specific' locale (++audience animation) 'sort of' in the European continent and 'sort of not' in the UK. Ireland?
Deconfustificationment
(Bismarck) Specific locale, YES. European continent? NO, but a strict geographer may disagree. Ireland? NO. If I say much more I may as well tell you the answer.
a political event?
Thanks, Rosie. Let's try for the timing - did this happen within your living memory?
(Raak) Political? YES.
(Bismarck) Within my living memory? YES.
an event relating to the EU?
(Raak) NO, not related to the EU.
Did it happen in the previous century?
Suez crisis?
in 1989?
(Bismarck) 20th century? YES.
(Software) NO, not the Suez crisis.
(Raak) In 1989? NO.
1970's?
(Bismarck) 1970's? Partly, YES.
Were fish involved?
(Bismarck) Fish? YES, they were indeed.
Did Iceland win at least 3-0?
(Bismarck) YES. That, I recall, was the score.
"The Phantom Menace", the cut that left the fish-slapping dance scene in?
Stop taking the piss
(Bismarck) NO, it wasn't that one.
The library, you say?
all right, all right... it's the Cod Wars.
It is, of course, the COD WARS. Well done. Take this giant baton-shaped fish finger and proceed to the next object.
Well, nothing for it now (gulp)...
The next object is MINERAL with a side order of location, as there may be multiple instances.
man-made?
[Raak] YES.
Metal?
[Raak] NO, not so as you'd notice
Does it begin with P?
fffrrttt
Mainly stone?
[Tuj] NO, not in any language I am aware of oblig.
[Raak] YES
On Earth?
[Raak] Terrestrial? YES.
Habitable?
[Tuj] NO.
underground?
In Europe?
[Raak] buried? NO
[Tuj] EU-ish? YES
Arc de Triomphe?
[Software] Etoile? NO.
Is it in an urban area?
[Rosie] Downtown? YES.
A statue?
A tourist attraction?
[Rosie] YES
[Raak] YES
Oh and in general their is the odd approving noise from the audience
Nelson's Column?
[Raak] YES - audience cheering but then subsiding as that's the main dish, but the "side order" needs to be found too.
The actual statue of Nelson?
[Raak] Trafalgar Square? NO, that would be too easy... Some applause from the right wing of the audience.
The Fourth Plinth?
^[Software] NO.
The Trafalgar Square lions?
[Knobbly] Felines? NO.
Hint - Nelson was quite well regarded in many placed.
In Menorca?
Is it in London?
[Software] Balearics? NO.
[Raak] City? NO.
So, the AOTC isn't in London, but the audience cheered Nelson's column...
Is it in Scotland?
[Boolbar] North o' the border? NO. A few claps from the audience, though.
Geordieland?
[Software] Tyne? NO
Ireland?
[Gusset] YES. Audience sensation, as they say.
Then it is surely Nelson's Pillar.
Audience goes wild for [Raak] Nelson's pillar is correct! Well done sir. Please take this green pillar-shaped baton and proceed with the next round.
Remind me never to run a relay with Raak, won't you :-)
Oh, ah. Um. The next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Snoopy's friend Woodstock?
Not Woodstock.
A wildlife programme?
Does it begin with P?
[Rosie] Not a wildlife programme.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P. (slight oohing sounds from audience)
Is the animal non-human?
(Some laughter) Not non-human.
Is the non-non-human not male?
Is the non-non-human principally famous for literary appearances?
[B] Might or might not be male.
[G] Not literary appearances, no.
Does the Abstract refer to the title or role of the non-non-human of indeterminate sex?
Be there a sporting connection?
[R] (polite applause) Yes, the Abstract has to do with the title or role (but there is more to the Abstractness than that).
[T] No sporting connection.
Was this known of in the year 1900?
Was this known of in the year 1900? One could take different interpretations, about which I can imagine philosophers of language debating endlessly. I shall interpret the words on the card as implying the answer: Yes.
Would you expect to find this mentioned in a book of World Records?
[Tuj] Would not be mentioned in a book of World Records.
Is/Was the person an inventor?
An inventor? Unlikely, I think.
Is the Animal one specific example of its kind?
[Bismarck] Not a specific example of its kind.
Is this an unknown person?
[Dujon] Yes, an unknown person. Although not totally.
Something like The Bogeyman?
[Rosie] (laughter!) Many would say there's a strong possibility of this thing being very like The Bogeyman.
In the UK, is there only one of this?
[Rosie] In the UK, there is none of this.
The yeti?
[Software] Not the yeti.
Is this anything to do with politics?
[Rosie] (applause!) It is to do with politics.
To do with the EU?
[Rosie] Not the EU.
The leader of the first communal state?
[Dujon] Not sure what a communal state is, but no.
Is this an American thing?
(Applause!) It is an American thing.
Are eagles involved?
No eagles are involved.
Is it currently in the news?
Yes, it is currently in the news.
The Republican Party campaign for the Presidency?
A lame duck, as in "Obama is a lame duck president?"
[Rosie] (more applause!) Very close, but not the answer.
[Bismarck] Absolutely not a lame duck.
The American Presidential race?
[Bismarck] (the audience enthusiastically cheer on the runners) You are getting closer, but that is not yet the answer.
Hillary Clinton's campaign to become President?
[Rosie] (more cheering) Not Hillary Clinton's campaign either.
The US election?
[Software] (still cheering, you're thinking on the right lines) Not the US election.
You only have a few days to get this.
I'm off on holiday to Switzerland this Wednesday.
Do any dead people come into this?
[Bismarck] Dead people cannot come into this.
Going once...
The Canadian election?
Televised debates?
Not the Canadian election, or televised debates.
Hint: In a sense, this thing does not exist, but it is not fictional. For a period of time it does exist, and afterwards it again doesn't exist.
Going twice...
The thing does not exist right now, but it will in the near future, for a while.
Election promises?
Not election promises, but getting closer. It definitely has something to do with an election.
The guillotine will fall before midnight today.
The wall between the US and Mexico, as suggested by one of the candidates?
I've no time to take over... but I suspect the words "elect" and "president" might be needed.
[B] Not the wall.
[A] One of those words is on the card!
Another hint
The word "next" is also on the card.
And the winner is...
The first person to say "The next president of the United States."
Is it me?
Assuming Raak is now away, I presume to draw a line
Does that make it my go? Bugger... I mean goldarn it
OK, this is mineral. Play on!
Metallic?
Oily?
In a state that was fashioned by humans?
Is there only one?
[S] Not metal. (There may be some metallic atoms knocking around for aught I know or care.)
[R] Not oleaginous.
[Bi] Man-made, yes.
[Bo] There is only one of the AOTC, although there are other similar... things.
Stone?
Mount Rushmore?
Stone Henge?
Is it in the USA?
[R] Yes, stone. Almost entirely I should think.
[B] (A solitary applau is hurriedly shushed) No, not Mt Rushmore
[GL] It is not a henge of stone
[B] Not in 'Murica (U S of)
Is it a mountain?
Cleopatra's needle?
Is it a statue?
Does it begin with P?
[D] Hmm... Well, it wasn't when I thought of it, but actually a mountain is called this too.
[S] It is no part of Cleopatra's sewing kit
[B] Not a statue
[T] It literally doesn't begin with P
Does it exist today?
Is it in Africa?
[Bi] Still there, yes, but not in Africa.
Petra?
The parthenon?
Is it a monument?
Is it a castle?
Is it inside a building?
[GL & S] Not Petra, the Parthenon or anywhere else beginning with P.
[R] It is a monument in the sense of 'site of historical importance', but not in the sense of 'structure erected to commemorate an event or person'.
[Bi] Not a castle by any sensible definition.
[Boo] Not found in a buiding.
Is it in England?
Is it in Scotland?
[Bi] Not in jolly old England.
[Boo] Not in bonny Scotland.
In Europe?
[R] Not in Europe neither. Where's left that isn't Europe, Africa or the USA?
Is it in Australasia?
It might be South America. is it?
Is it in Canada?
Is it on the Moon?
Was it man-made within the last 1000 years?
[Bi] It sure is in South America..
[GL & R] See above.
[Bo] Last 1,000 years, yes.
Is it in Brazil?
Macchu Picchu?
[Bo] Not Brazil.
[Bi] Indeed yes, therefore *Wild applause for Bismarck*
I'd better get back on the campaign trail...
Oh. Oh! And I thought that had no chance because of the 'P' in Picchu, as perennially suggested by Tuj. But I shall humbly take it upon myself to climb down this peak and devise another riddle. But first, this line:

Right, time for something Animal

Human?
Does it have two eyes?
[R] Not human
[B] Indeed they all do
Four legs?
Do these animals live on land?
Hamsters?
...no P...
Native to the UK?
Taste nice?
[So] Yes.
[Bo] Yes.
[Tu] No.
[Ra] Yes.
[Ro] I have only eaten one of this type of animal and it was nice.
Horses?
[GuLo] That gets an outbreak of clapping, with the odd whoop, holler, and whinny. However, it's not right.
Hedgehogs?
[Bo] No, we are spineless today.
Fillet of unborn horse, simmered in its own amniotic fluid?
Are these animals mammalian?
Hare?
[Ra] Ergh... No.
[Bo] Yes, they are.
[So] No.
Pig?
[Bo] Pigs are not part of this family.
Are we talking bovine here?
[Bo] No, there are no cows in this field.
Rabbit?
Goat?
[Ro] Rabbits are no part of this breed.
[Bo] Caprids, likewise, are not typical.
Deer?
[So] Deer, no. Please stop the ruminating.
Are these beasts regarded as pests?
Are these animals ungulates?
[Ro] I don't believe that even hunters could maintain they were pests.
[Bo] Yes, they all take their ungulation seriously.
Camels?
A Shetland pony?
[Ra] The Camelidae are out of reckoning. Audience, though, is getting the hump.
[Ro] Well, that gets a clap, but [Gusset Login] got there firster and better.
Do they still exist?
[Ra] They certainly exist today.
A beast of burden?
Is it a crossbreed?
[Ro] The horses certainly are, but I don't think anyone has ever tried the others.
[Bo] No miscegenation involved.
Equids generally?
[Ra] Gusset guessed that already. Still it gets a round vigorous if impatient applause and subdued cries of "Get on with it!" and "Can someone find us a zoologist?"
Odd-toed ungulates, a.k.a. Perissodactyla?
We have a winner!
And the zoologist appears, and with sage wisdom provides the answer. Therefore *Wild applause for Raak!*
For you sir, take your choice of baton engraved with a rhino, tapir, zebra, or what might be a horse, and follow the blue lights over there for the interview.
(I was waiting for [Tuj] to ask the p-question...)

The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
Is it that boulder that Sisyphus has to push up a hill?
Is it decorative?
[B1] Nice idea,but not Sisyphus? boulder.
[B2] Not decorative.
Is the mineral in liquid form?
[Boolbar] Not liquid.
Is it the name of a mineral?
Does it begin with P?
Whoops, am I late? Sorry Bism =)
Stone?
[Bismarck] Not the name of a mineral.
[Zarquon] Does not begin with P.
[Rosie] Yes, mainly stone.
Is this found in the Bible?
[Boolbar] It is not in the Bible.
A bridge?
A geologic term?
Is it unique?
[Raak] I see your reference, and I appreciate it =)
[Rosie] Not a bridge.
[Bismarck] Not a geologic term.
[Tuj] Er...the MINERAL thing is unique, and the ABSTRACT thing is, broadly speaking, unique, but the MINERAL thing and the ABSTRACT thing are not the same thing.
Mount Everest?
[Bismarck] Not Mount Everest.
(Not sure how Mount Everest could be abstract, unless there's a novel called that.)
Stone me?
[Software] Not a figurative expression.
A geographic term?
Proper names are intrinsically abstract. I'm sure Wittgenstein said that, if not I'm making it up.
[Bismarck] Not a geographic term. Also, whether it is a proper name (that would be another question), proper name-ness is not the ground for this thing's abstractness.
(It seems to me, pace Wittgenstein, that The Royal Festival Hall (for example) is very concrete.)
Is the MINERAL thing human-made?
[Boolbar] It is man-made!
Is it comestible?
[Bismarck] Not comestible.
Does it involve a proper name?
Is this the Royal Festival Hall?
Is the mineral part a building?
[B1a] It does involve a proper name.
[B1b] But is not the RFH.
[B2] Is a building!
Is this building in Europe?
[Boolbar] It is, or was, in Europe.
Does it still exist?
[Bismarck] That is argued over, but the simplest answer is that no, it no longer exists.
Is this building in the British Isles?
Mysteriouser and mysteriouser... European building that may or may not exist, named by or after someone, but not decorative.
[Bismarck] Not in the British Isles.
Is its putative non-existence the result of politics?
[Rosie] Isn't everything the result of politics?
Perhaps I have been too obscure about its existence. It was built; it was partly dismantled, and partly fell into ruin, which is why it no longer exists.
[Bismarck] Although it does involve a proper name, the name is not the name of a person.
Right, this is far too vague up to here, could be anything from the Teutoburg Wall through Horta's Maison du Peuple to the Nurburgring Nordschleife. Is it in Germany?
[Bismarck] Not in Germany.
Alhambra?
[GL] Not the Alhambra. (That still exists anyway.)
Was it in Scandinavia?
A fortification such as a castle?
(Raak) re. politics. Not my excessive smoking.
[Rosie] Yes, this could be classified as a fortification. But was not a castle.
Was/Is it in France?
[Bismarck] Not France.
Is/Was it in Greece?
The Seigfried line?
[Boolbar] Not Greece.
[Software] Not the Siegfried line.
Did the Romans build it?
[Boolbar] Not built by the Romans.
Was it in the Balkans?
Scandinavia q still outstanding?
[Bismarck] Not in Scandinavia or the Balkans.
We'd better try Italy, then. Is it in Italy?
Is it in Spain?
Is it in one of the Visegrad countries?
getting there, getting there...
Not in Italy, Spain, ...(pause to google)..., or in Visegrad.
Is it in one of the Benelux countries?
[Bismarck] Not Benelux.
The audience is yawning and fidgetting.
Was it in a country whose name ends with a vowel?
As far as an English speaking person is concerned.
Is it in Switzerland?
It's not just the audience... still got Romania, Moldova, European Russia, Liechtenstein, European Turkey, Slovenia, Austria, Malta, Cyprus, and the Baltic countries to go. Let's see who cracks first.
Oh yes, there's Portugal too. Is it in Portugal?
[Bismarck] The country ends with a vowel. As indeed do most countries.
Not Switzerland. One of that list does apply, though.
Not Portugal.
One might try other angles. After all, how much would the country really tell you? What sort of building, what time period, and that abstract thing that no-one is asking about. I expect the answer is quite well known to most people here.
There are five words on the card.
Was this building still in use in 1900?
[Boolbar] Not in use in 1900.
That makes things clearer. Did people live in it?
[Bismarck] This building was not for living in.
Did this exist before 1900?
Was this a place of entertainment?
[Bismarck] Existed before 1900.
[Boolbar] Not a place of entertainment.
Any connection with horror stories?
A place of worship?
Did this exist B.C.?
[Rosie] Aaaaaaahhhhh???? No.
[Boolbar] Not a place of worship.
[Bismarck] Did not exist B.C.
Was this structure used for holding back or containing water?
[Boolbar] Not waterworks.
Was this structure a defensive wall?
A ripple of applause, as the stage of Discovery of the Footprints is attained. "These traces can no more be hidden than one's nose, looking heavenward."
Not a defensive wall.
Was it built by a religious order?
Did it exist before the year 1000 A.D.?
Was it a gateway or entrance?
[Bismarck] Not built by a religious order.
[hi again!] Did not exist before 1000 AD.
[Boolbar] Applause! It was a gateway or entrance!
triumphal arch?
[B] Not a triumphal arch.
Is the AOTC a book title?
[B] Not a book title.
Are the 5 words of the AOTC in English?
[Bismarck] The words on the card are in English. (One might quibble about foreign proper names, but I won't.)
Was this gateway/entrance at the perimeter of a city?
I hear the song of the nightingale. The sun is warm, the wind is mild, willows are green along the shore - Here no Ox can hide!
[Boolbar] (more applause!!) Yes, a gateway at the perimeter of a city.
(going back to a happy hunting ground) Is this in the Ukraine?
I seize him with a terrific struggle. His great will and power are inexhaustible. He charges to the high plateau far above the cloud-mists, Or in an impenetrable ravine he stands.
[Bismarck] Yes, it is (was) in the Ukraine!
[We're showing our age there. It's "Ukraine" these days, not "the Ukraine".]
[Raak] "The Ukraine" still exists. It's a region, whereas "Ukraine" is the country.
Do precious metals come into this?
[Raak] is so close to nirvana that it seems a shame to hinder the process. For only on super-Himalayan heights may the Answer be revealed.
[Bismarck] Strictly speaking, no precious metals are involved in the building itself, although there is a popular connection.
All quietened down a bit now - how about the golden gate of Kiev?
Mounting the Ox, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me.
[Bismarck] (a round of applause!) Hm, should I award the prize? (Whispered conference with Mycroft, ending with Mycroft shaking his head.) The mineral thing is indeed the Golden Gate of Kiev (named golden only for the domes of a nearby church). But the words on the card name both this thing and an abstract thing which is not called the Golden Gate of Kiev.
Are we looking for a piece of music here?
I don't think it is anything to do with Chicken Kiev.
Astride the Ox, I reach home. I am serene. The Ox too can rest.
[Boolbar] We are indeed looking for a piece of music.
Gates, gold, Raak, Mussorgsky, all merge.
This heaven is so vast, no message can stain it.
Bismarck has it: The Great Gate of Kiev.
Winners comments
I said what? Plausible deniability, take a bow.
So let us return and mingle with this blissful world.
Right, this next one is Mineral, to keep the ball rolling, and there are three words on the card.
Is it man made?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Is the first word "The"?
Is there only one of this?
[GL] Artificial? No.
[Kn] Bigger than small? Yes.
[Ra] Definite article? Yes.
[Bo] Unique? Yes.
A precious stone?
[Ra] Gem-quality? No.
Liquid?
Is it a mountain?
Is it a natural feature?
[GL] No.
[Bo] No.
[Ro] Yes, on balance.
A waterway?
Is it larger than Wales?
[Ra] Wet? No.
[Bo] Fwy na Cymru? Yes.
England
Oi! Mwy na Chymru, 'sgwelwch yn dda.
Is it not on the Earth?
[Ro] Anglo? No.
[Bo] Extraterrestrial? Yes.
Mars?
[Ro] Red planet? No.
The Milky Way? (Other chocolate bars are available)
Is it within our Solar System?
[Kn] No.
[Bo] No.
Is it a galaxy?
Chocolate bar theme continuing.
A nebula?
Applause and the odd Janx spirit all around
[Bo] Yes!
Hidden textThey should have praline centres, all that black hole-at-the-centre theory is due for revision

[Ra] No.
The Magellanic Clouds?
[Ro] Star cluster? No.
The Andromeda Galaxy?
Take a bow, Boolbar!
The winning move and within twenty questions, a fine effort. Take this complimentary Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster and proceed to the winner's enclosure.
Recovers from hard hitting but lemony hangover
Wow! Winning this is out of this world! And thanks for the bow, I'll pop it in my hair. Um, the next one is
ABSTRACT & ANIMAL
Aslan?
A painting?
Animal part fearsome?
[Raak] No wardrobe based lion.
[Bismark] No framed masterpiece.
[Rosie] To some I'm sure. Frightening. Audience nodding
is the animal one that might be found in the wild?
Is the animal a snake?
[Bismarck] You wouldn't really say that about this animal, so let's go for no.
[Rosie] No.
Thinking about it, the AOTC is abstract involving an abstract animal, so my answer to Rosie's "fearsome" question is more to do with the abstract animal and not the isolated animal alone. Sorry for any confusion caused. I'm more awake today. As you were.
Is the animal extinct?
[Bismarck] Definitely not!
A sacred cow?
Is the AOTC an idiomatic phrase?
[Software] No.
[Rosie] No.
A mythological creature?
An heraldic animal?
Wonders when someone will ask the usual "animal" question.
[Raak] The AOTC is not a mythological creature, but the animal part does appear in myths.
[Superman] I can find examples of the animal part in heraldic crests, but is not usually thought of as such.
A snake in the grass?
[Raak] Alas no.
Cheshire cat?
[Bismarck] No grins for you either.
A quadruped?
Is the abstract bit a literary reference?
[Superman] No.
[Bismarck] Yes!   Audience wake up and applaud.
Is the animal a human?
[Gusset Login] Yes!
So we are looking for somebody in a book... Is the perspn one of those Hero With a Thousand Faces types?.
The man with no name?
[Bismarck] Not one of those types.
[Gusset Login] Not without a name.
An historical (real) personage?
Is the personage male?
[Superman & Bismarck] Can you share this "No" between you? I'm running out of them. Neither real or male.
Is she a religious figure?
Does she have a statue in Denmark?
Liberty?
Britannia?
[All] No! Although I can't guarantee that there is not a statue somewhere in Denmark made by a bored sculptor and placed in their garden :)
Associated with a particular country?
[Raak] Yes!
Is that country in Europe?
[Superman] Yes!
British Isles?
Bernadette Soubirous?
[Bismarck] Yes!
[Raak] Not her.
Boudicca?
The Old Lady of Threadneedle Street?
[Raak] Not her either.
[Gusset Login] I like the way you think, but no.
 
The basics so far... Animal=Human (humans are found in myths, not extinct, etc.) Human=female with a name, not a religious figure. Overall a literary reference and connected with the British Isles.
Alice in Wonderland?
[Superman] Not her. Even through the looking glass.
Does this character have a pib named after her?
-pib+pub..
[Superman] Not that I know of (pibs or pubs). Without a list of all pub names worldwide it is hard to be certain. But a google search shows nothing, although I did find a pub in the UK with a very connected name.
From Arthurian legends?
Does the good lassie turn up in a play?
[Raak] No.
[Bismarck] If she does (and she has) it is not the original source, so don't be distracted by that.
Maid Marian?
[Raak] No.
Was the literary reference made after 1900?
[Bismarck] Not that recent, no.
Royalty?
[Raak] No.
Involved with the occult?
Scottish?
[Bismarck] No.
[Raak] Smattering of audience going 'oooh'   There is an aspect of the AOTC that would come under the broad sweep of the occult. However the fictional female in the AOTC was not involved with the occult.
Mother Shipton?
Though I have admit she might have been real.
[Superman] Not her.
Originating after 1600?
[Raak] It is my great pleasure to say "yes".
Shakespeare's Dark lady?
[Raak] Nor her.
 
Just to clarify and hint : when I said earlier "...but the animal part does appear in myths." I was referring to humans in general for the animal part (as people were trying to identify the animal at that point), not this particular literary fictional human female character.
One of the royalty?
The White Lady?
Would it help to define the geographical appurtenance of said female more closely?
[Superman] No to Royalty and not The White Lady but the latter gets the audience murmuring.
[Bismarck] I suspect it would help.
I'm game... Welsh lady?
[Bismarck] Best hide from those people with shotguns then... As for Wales, no.
it's the leg i was referring to, thanks for the sympathy. Ireland?
[Bismarck] Nor Ireland. That should narrow it down a bit :)
Wilkie Collins' Woman in White?
(arriving late here, I am just reacting to the recent murmur from the audience)
[gil] Nice try, but no.   Audience are looking more expectant now.
Irene Adler?
[Raak] To Sherlock Holmes she may be always the woman. But not this time.
Lack of inspiration leaves brute force... North of Manchester?
[Bismarck] Yes!
19th century?
[Raak] Yes! Yes!
from Dickens?
from the Bront?s?
Try &euml; for ë
[Raak] Not the Dickens.
[Superman] Shouting over the audience cheering   Yes! From the Brontës!
Oh great, never read any of them. Wikipedia suggests Jane Eyre as a possibility, is that it?
[Superman & Wikipedia] Not that possibility.
Bront?s, Brontë, Bront. Testing. Still no idea, though.
Is the AOTC a personage in 'Jane Eyre'?
[Superman] Not that book no.
Start to overheat with anticipation : someone opens a window.
Oh, go on then: Agnes Grey?
[Superman] Not her, or any other shade of grey.
Lucy Snowe?
C'mon Boolbar, we all want to know if gil has it!
[Superman] Busy weekend and...
[gil] No. [hint : wrong Brontë]
Nelly Dean?
[Superman] No but... Some audience applause and whooping
Isabella Linton?
[Superman] No. Still the wrong character. The audience fall silent. Only the sound of a branch tapping on the window can be heard.
 
Note that the AOTC does have an extra part than just the character's name : see murmur above.
Is there nobody out there that has ever read this stuff and can put us put of our misery?
Nobody wants to take the baton at this time of year. :)
I give up
Not a ghost of a chance of anyone getting this? While I wait I shall listen to some music.
Did I really start this game 14 years ago? (see wordy intro above)
To narrow down to 1, hopefully: is she already dead at the beginning of the novel?
It's one of 2 I had suspected... but I've had a go relatively recently
[Knobbly] At the beginning of the novel she is dead.
[Knobbly] Don't apologise, it's been me and Boolbar in here for the last how long, and Stockholm syndrome was beginning to set in.
Catherine Earnshaw?
Audience goes wild with excitement
[Knobbly] That'll do as I'm sure you muttered "The ghost of" just beforehand.  Plus I need a rest.  Have this baton made from a fir bough which oddly feels like a ice-cold hand...

Where did my post go?
Did I forget to click Stand again?
Anyway, as everyone drifts back from extended New Year breaks, this one is ANIMAL.
The dog ate it.
Is it a human?
Is it Arthur Pendragon?
Made of meat?
`
[Boolbar] Not human
[GL] Not -King Arthur
[Tuj] I'll say yes, but only on the basis that all animals are made of meat, so that's not particularly helpful.
Mammal?
Fictional?
A bird?
More than four legs?
[Gil] YES, mammalian ([Boolbar] and therefore not a bird)
[Rosie] Not fictional
[Bismark] No more than 4 legs.
A specific human?
A lolcat?
Larger than a 2 slice toaster?
Extinct?
[Raak] No specific human
[Bismarck] No can has cheezburger
[Chalky] YES bigger than a small toaster
[Superman] The species is not extinct.
bigger than a goat?
[gil] No bigger than a goat
Is it a member of the subfamily Caprinae?
A pet?
[Boolbar] Not Caprinae
[Rosie] YES, a pet.
Sounds doggish
Carnivorous?
Is it a Thing That Should Not Be?
[gil & Bismarck] YES, extremely doggish and indeed carnivorous
[Raak] I had to Popular Search Engine it, but no.
Irish Wolfhound?
[Superman] Not an Irish Wolfhound.
Winner of Best In Show at Crufts 2016?
Is it a specific dog?
[Chalky] Not BIS
[Boolbar] YES a specific dog.
Lassie?
[Bismarck] What's that, Lassie? No, not you.
Is this specific dog still alive?
Laika?
[Boolbar] Not still alive
[Raak] Not Laika.
Greyfriars Bobby?
Recap
So we are looking for a dead pet dog Knobbly once knew. Hmmmm.
[CdM] Not Greyfriars Bobby
[Bismarck] Choosing to interpret that as a question: No, I didn't know the dog personally.
Did or does the dog advertise something?
Did the dog appear on children's TV?
[Boolbar] YES, it is an advertising dog *Audience wakes up and begins to murmur excitedly*
[Raak] Not children's telly, no.
... the Andrex puppy?
The Dulux Old English Sheepdog?
[S & B] Neither of them.
Used in a logo?
[Boolbar] Logo, YES. *Murmuring increases - they were worried you'd been misled by the yes to adverts*
The HMV/RCA dog?
Jumping on the bandwagon
[Software] YES - The AOTC was actually its name (for an extra point?), but I'm minded to give you that.
Listen to this recording of me telling you you've won...

And the winner of the invisible AVMA game is... Can't read it, it's faded.
It is undoubtedly that much commented storm. His cable out to the islands has probably been cut and he is working feverishly to recover from the outage. With a wee bit of luck Stevie et al will sort out a piece of code and float it over in a bottle in order to help us all out. Of course that code will, of necessity, be in plain French.
Anyone going to be bold enough to start another?
Right, then. This is quite straightforward.

It's MINERAL. and nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.


Is this an element in the periodic table?
Is it an individual object?
Is it a human-made object?
Is it a rock?
Is it a plane?
(Bismarck) One of the elemnts? NO. *some muted giggles from the audience*
(Raak) An individual object? YES
(Boolbar) Human made? YES.
(Gusset Login) A rock? NO.
(Tuj) Aircraft, geometrical concept or carpentry tool? NONE of the above.
Was it human-made over 200 years ago?
Is it in the UK?
Is it a work of art?
Is it a monument?
Possibly misleading
It is an object but there are many of them. Loads of 'em, in fact.

If the questions had been phrased "Are they.....?" the answers would have been:
(Boolbar) YES, probably
(Superman) They're probably found in almost every country.
(Raak) Not a work of art.
(Bismarck) Not a monument.

[Rosie] It's an individual object, but they're found all over the place?
(Raak) It's an object, a thing, a whatsit, an oojamaflip. Individual in the sense of being different from other things. Not individual in the sense you meant though I suppose you could have a monogrammed one. Mea culpa.
A milestone?
A tool?
(Bismarck) A milestone? NO
(Raak) A tool? NO.
Are these items usually made of metal?
Is it mobile?
(Boolbar) Metallic? YES, but they don't have to be.
(Superman) Mobile? NO.
Can a person lift one of these?
(Raak) Can it be lifted? YES, very easily.
A marble?
(Raak) NO, not that easily.
A weapon of some sort?
An anchor?
(Boolbar) NO, not a weapon.
(Bismarck) An anchor? NO. Not terribly liftable.
Is this a household object?
Is this usually attached to, or part of, a building?
(Bismarck) Household object? YES
(Boolbar) Part of a building or attached thereto? YES.
A spoon?
A brick?
(Softers) NOT a spoon.
(Superman) NOT a brick.
A piece of door furniture?
Is it as big as a toaster?
(Raak) YES, though it stretches the imagination to call it furniture.
(Bismarck) Toaster-sized? NO.
Footrest?
Knockers!
(Software) Footrest? NO.
(Superman) Knockers? Where? Show me! NOT a percussive call-attention device..
A door-hinge?
(Raak) NOT a door-hinge but there is some association with the AOTC.
A jamb?
A door lock?
Knockers?
(Raak) Not a jamb.
(Bismarck) Not a door lock.
(Software) Knockers have been done, if you'll pardon the phrase. See Bismarck penult.
A gentle nudge: Not every house has one of these.
A cat flap?
A tradesmen's entrance?
Is this visible when the door is closed?
Letterbox?
(Raak,Boolbar, Software) None of those things but Superman has it. It's a cat-flap.

Over to you, Superman.


So this is a cat-flap?
Just let me sit here and meow plaintively for the next hour...
Ok, this one is ANIMAL. Let's hear your suggestions.
Is it human?
Is it food (for humans)?
We are off to a flyer!
[Boolbar] YES.
[Rosie] NO. Definitely not available for cannibalism.
A particular person?
Still alive?
First fence... going strong
[Software] YES, a particûlar character.
[Boolbar] Good question - the character is fictional, and as such never was alive, but nor has any death ever been mentioned.
A detective?
Was this fictional person created before the year 1900?
Second fence... jockeying for position
[Raak] NO, not their style.
[Boolbar] NO, more recent.
Female?
Early showing
[Raak] NO, definitely male.
A character created for a television show?
Does the character appear in only one work?
Tarzan?
Originally in a written work?
Third fence, a faller, leaders bunching
[Boolbar] NO, not for TV.
[Bismarck] NO, not an isolated incident.
[Software] NO-OOOO OOOO OOOO (sorry)
[Raak] YES, originally published on paper.
The principal character of the fiction?
Is this work the character appears in, a comic strip or graphic novel?
Fourth fence causes no problems to the leaders
[Raak] YES, this is the central character.
[Boolbar] YES, the character does appear in a comic strip or graphic novel.
A superhero?
Does the character appear in Viz?
At the fifth, over to Michael O'Hare
[Raak] Hero yes, superhero... On balance, NO. [Rosie] NO, not Viz.
Was a film made of this character?
A character from the Eagle comics?
That's going back a bit.
Loose horse, the field is split as they come to the sixth
[Bismarck] YES, a film was made with this character.
[Boolbar] NO, not from ye "Eagle".
Cow pie
Desperate Dan?
Did the character appear in a DC Comics publication?
Is the character a Marvel Comics creation?
At the sixth, a refusal, difficult landings but the race goes on
[Rosie] NO, not Dan.
[Bismarck] NO, not DC.
[Boolbar] NO, Marvel not.
Created by Neil Gaiman?
Dennis the Menace?
Did this character appear in a DC Thomson comic?
A character from 2000AD?
The water jump slows a few, but who is this coming up on the outside?
[Boolbar] NO, but good inspiration.
[Software] NO, though the character is certainly menacing.
[Bismarck] NO, no Beano, Dandy, Bunty etc.
[Raak] YES - Zarjaz! Won't be long now.
King Kong?
Judge Dredd?
Johnny Alpha?
Neck-and-neck finish!
[Software] NO, not the monkey.
[Gusset Login] NO, but it could have been the Dog.
[Raak] YES, it's everyone's favourite bobby on the beat in Mega-City One.

So Raak, you are the law! Please enter the winner's enclosure where Tharg will give you the keys to an enormous motorcycle: The rest of you into the weighing room where the Judges will execute a summary verdict.
The next is ANIMAL.
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
Is it human?
Is it fictional?
[S] Um... it is human, but not a human.
[B] Not fictional.
A nationality?
Not a nationality.
A profession?
A Band?
[B] Not a profession.
[GL] Not a band.
Does this human collective still exist today?
[B] (Q1) Not a human collective. (Q2) Exists today.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Is it a part of a human?
[B] Yes, a part of a human.
Is it a visible part of said human?
[B] It is visible (and not just to those who happen to know them rather well).
Is it still attached to the rest of the human?
[B] Still attached.
What Rak said.
Is it a sense organ?
Who nose?
Is it a hand?
Skin?
[R] Not a sense organ.
[B1] Not a hand.
[B2] Not skin.
Is it the hair on the head?
[B] applause It is the hair on the head.
A quiff?
[S] applause!! Having done a google search to determine what is and is not a quiff, I believe that this is not, strictly speaking, a quiff.
A duck's-arse haircut
Very fashionable when ah were a lad.
An Afro?
[R] Not, er, one of those.
[B] Not an afro.
Is it an individual person's hair?
[B] It is an individual person's hair.
This must be the hair of the Deal Leader whose initials are DT (and I don't mean Donald Tusk)
setting myself up for a big fall here :)
It is indeed Donald Trump's hair, and I have a really great baton for you, because our batons are the greatest in the world.
What a great baton I have got. Carefully ignoring all the previous administration may have done, I and only I have the answer you are all looking for. This will be done speedily, and is Vegetable.
Is it a tree or part of a tree?
Is it unique?
Commonly part of the human diet?
This is a great start, I am expecting to be able to choose my staff from among you boys and lady. Thanks for the questions, which are aligned to our solution and to which the following statement from Kellyanne, you know the one, will suffice:
[Boolbar] Yes, great question
[Tuj] Yes, of course, I don't do ordinary
[Rosie] Not unless you're North Korean, and my solution delegated to our great ambassador Mr McDonald will soon sort that out.
Is it a work of art?
Is it alive?
Is it a piece of furniture?
Amidst all the mess left by the previous incumbent and with no help at all from China during the eight days of our presidency, we are pursuing our way for greatness to become yours. Good thing! and in reply to these beauties, let me just say this:
[Raak] Bigly, no, and certainly not to my taste. Some more paint and gilt might rescue it. Sure, I could sell it to the Mexicans.
[Bismarck] I can deny that. Only Democrats could imagine it alive, though there is a resemblance in its aliveness to certain politicos I could mention. Wait for the revelations.
[Boolbar] Well, listen, I'm not biased, it's standing against a wall and I can put things on it, just like the Sec of State. But it doesn't speak or fall over, so it's either furniture or in line for a promotion.
A type of table?
Wait a moment while I hang up on some lady who thinks she's important. Ok. Yes, it is one of greatest types of table.
The desk in the Oval Office?
Delay caused by having to go out for a Chinese. The staff are whooping an' hollerin', that's not a bad guess, they think. So yes it has been but we need more clarification.
Presumably a specific OO desk? The "Resolute" desk?
King Arthur's Round Table?
Night, night.
Well now, that's mighty close. Not the Round Table, that's plain wrong. I sign all my presidential stuff on that Resolute desk, 'cos "resolute" is my middle name, like "you're fired." But while the staff are applauding you, Jared tells me you'll need the name of the desk given by a real industry dealer, not made out of some Limey boat.
The C&O desk?
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
Oh, cheers, and by the way it looks like your communications are tapped, there's an echo.
Here's one for the weekend: ABSTRACT, for a change.
An emotion?
Anything to do with politics?
[Gil] NO, not an emotion.
[Rosie] Whilst fairly universal, this should be associated less with politics than many other occupations.
A quality not associated with politics? Veracity?
[gil] NO, not truthfulness.
Is it a quality that is normally regarded as good?
Is self respect closely related to the AOTC?
[Dujon] NO.
Politics really isn't the way to go.
[Rosie] Neither good nor bad, but neutral.
Anything to do with numbers?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] YES, numbers are very frequently associated with the Answer.
[Tuj] NO, though a closely allied concept does. Maybe we can do it next time.
Solidity?
Is it a human invention?
[Sup] NO, not solidity. [Tuj] NO, not a human invention.
Is it a physical constant?
Gravity?
[Bo] There are several physical constants and at least one law that describe the AOTC, or attempt to fudge it, but no self-respecting physicist would admit that that AOTC as stated comes into it. They might use Tuj's P-word, though.
[Ro] NO, not gravity.
Chemistry?
The vagaries of the weather?
[Super] NO, not chemistry
[Rosie] Applause breaks out but dies away. NO, not the weather.
Murphy's law?
Is it... spooky?
Is it... sleazy?
[Superman] Scattered applause... M's law is often invoked, but on reflection it indicates the opposite of the AOTC.
[The Mighty Tuj] NO, unless you consider Forteana spooky
[Boolbar of Asgard] NO, even if you're lucky.
BTW it's none of the other five dwarves either.
The movements of the planets?
Something to do with quantum mechanics?
[Rosie] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, though more common as the P-word.
The structure of the atom?
Chaos theory?
[Ro] NO. Hint - more general concept than physics.
[Ra] NO, although the AOTC plays a role in it as well as in the film.
Is the P-word physics?
Philosophy?
[Dujon] NO. [Rosie] NO.
Probability?
[Boolbar the Not Improbable] Yay, that's the P-word, of which the AOTC is a synonym.
Statistics?
[Raak] NO, not stats.
Chance?
The winner of the lottery is...
ROSIE, it's your lucky day, you have selected the six winning letters in the correct order! Come down into the arena and take this baton, as well as your cheque for sixpence, redeemable at any branch of the Midland bank.
There with the C-word, as usual.

Now this one is

MINERAL and VEGETABLE and nothing whatsoever to do with steam locomotives.


Is it pea gravel?
Salted licorice?
A building?
Kew Gardens?
A grandfather clock?
NO, five times NO. Gusset Login is closest but still a long way off.
Is it something made by a human?
Stonehenge?
Does it still exist?
(Boolbar) Human-made? YES
(Software) Stonehenge? *Brief audience excitement*. NO
(Superman) Still in existence? YES, just about.
Was it deliberately made (rather than being the side-effect of having humans around)?
(Bismarck) Deliberately made? YES.
Is there only one?
Woodhenge?
Is it a path?
(Boolbar) YES, there is only one.
(Softers) NO, not Woodhenge.
(Superman) A path? NO, but some will regard it as such.
Is it in Europe?
The continent, obvs.
Did it have a defensive purpose?
Did it exist before 1 AD?
(Tuj) In Europe? YES
(Superman) Defensive purposes? YES, very largely.
(Bismarck) Before 1 AD? NO.
The Berlin Wall?
Is it in Wales?
Was it built by a bloke called Offa?
(Raak) Not the Berlin Wall.
(Boolbar) YES, most of it.
(Superman) Obviously not; he was a king FFS. For some reason or other his name is always associated with it.
I think we can say Superman has won, so well done you, aye. Take this baton, run with it and try not to fall into a ditch or make jokes about lesbians.
We go again. Here we go again...
Thank you, dear. Llwbr coeheddus and all that.

Without further ado, let me announce an
ANIMAL subject on the card. Listen carefully as the mystery voice reads out the clue.

Is it me?
Is it a human?
And as the game kicks off...
[Tuj] I honestly don't know. Let's get to the answer and find out, shall we?
[Boolbar] YES, and also NO.
A person also in fiction?
[Software] NO, not fictional.
*trying to think of something that both is, and is not, human* Is this a class of people?
Is it alive?
Is it a trade or profession?
Play is defensive...
[Bismarck] A clarification is needed. *clears throat*
Mystery Voice:The Yes was for "human", the No was for "a".

[Tuj] YES.
[Boolbar] NO, although one comes into it.
The human genome?
Yer, roight, but is it a class of people?
Anything to do with elections?
A foray tries to break the defensive line...
[Raak] NO, genetics doesn't come into it.
[Bismarck] YES. This will come back and bite me.
[Boolbar] NO, thank goodness, there has to be some respite somewhere.
Is it everyone who is going to win this game in the future?
[Boolbar] NO. Though I wish I had thought of it.
Are they found (or associated with) a single country?
Something to do with their names?
A physical characteristic?
Still early doors, tackles and possession going backwards and forwards
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
[Rosie] NO.
All good questions, though.
Do these people have a common interest? (e.g vole-polishing, trainspotting etc)
Politicians?
Have they all won or been awarded something?
Crossing the half-way line
[Rosie] YES, on the grounds they must have or they wouldn't be doing what they're doing.
[gil] NO. At least that was an easy one.
[Boolbar] NO, not yet, although traditionally being there involves winning something.
Anything to do with sport?
Rosie spots an opening and is off like a hare
[Rosie] *stands erupt in applause* YES.
Are these people spectators?
Drinks break
[Raak] No, this is happening on the pitch.
Does the AOTC mention a specific sport?
Is this a football team?
Something to do with cricket?
Play slows as referee's guide dog takes a leak
[Rosie] NO. Which surprised me when I looked it up.
[Bismarck] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Anyone for Tennis?
An aquatic sport?
An umpire?
NO to all of you.
A team?
A groundsman?
Stepovers and missed passes...
[Raak] "YES!!" shout the assembled multitudes.
[Rosie] NO, despite the valiant work of that undervalued person.
Are the team sitting down while competing?
An indoor sport?
The line-breaking attack fizzles out...
[Boolbar] NO, definitely not.
[Rosie] NO, this goes on out in the elements.
The line-breaking attack fizzles out...
[Boolbar] NO, definitely not.
[Rosie] NO, this goes on out in the elements.
A sport using a ball (or balls)?
Does this sport take place with large numbers of spectators?
They build patiently...
[Boolbar] YES, this is a ball game.
[Rosie] YES, it's quite popular.
Is rugby the name of the game?
Boolbar rises above the fray to claim the throw
[Boolbar] YES! A chorus of a rugby song breaks out.
So, it's a team, and it's rugby, could it be a rugby team?
Swing low, sweet chariot
[Raak] YES.
A specific rugby team?
Coming for to carry me home
[Raak]'Ot, innit... Since you didn't win the contest outright for saying "rugby team", it is logical that we are looking for a specific rugby team. Orrigh'?
The British Lions?
Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi...
[Rosie] The massed ranks break into male-voiced harmony. NO, but only because that's not their full name, which will spell trouble in the green community of it ever gets out. However, it's closer than I came to winning last time out, so you'd better catch this pass from the bottom of the ruck and power onwards, leaving kiwis scattered in your wake like Barry John reincarnated. The British and Irish Lions it is.
Gwyddwn i ddim dy fod Cymro.
Actually I find Rugby absurd and incomprehensible but we had to play it in school.
Never mind all that, the next one is

ANIMAL
Rats?
Shouldn't that be Prats?
(Tuj, Dujon) Not the intention of the AOTC, but could be.
A beast of myth and fable?
Human?
(Bismarck) Mythical beast? NO.
(Boolbar) Human? Yes.
Does politics come into this?
Alive?
One human?
(Superman) NO politics in this.
(Tuj) Alive? YES.
(Boolbar) One human? Could be, but rather unlikely.
Has this anything to do with a game?
(Bismarck) - NO, nothing to do with a game.
Anything to do with railways?
A family?
(Boolbar) Surprisingly, NO
(Superman) A distinct possibility, but not a requirement. *some audience animation*
Something to do with food?
The staff in a business?
(Boolbar) NO, nothing to do with food.
(Superman) NO, not the staff in a business.
Does this group of people share a common goal?
Does this group of people share a common country?
(Bismarck) YES, but a rather undefinable one.
(Boolbar) Share a common country? YES.
Has this group of people been around for a long time?
A group of musicians?
From the answer to Bismark's question
The Tory Party?
(Bismarck) In some form or other, YES
(Boolbar) Musos? Essentially NO, though the AOTC does not exclude the possibility.
(Software) The Tories? NO.
Is this a mixed group, or unisex?
(Bismarck) Could be unisex, but unlikely.
Does this group gather in one place from time to time?
(Boolbar) A very strange way to describe it but strictly speaking YES.
The Mafia?
Is the common country the UK?
(Superman) The Mafia? NO
(Bismarck)UK? Need not be but all members of the group have a common country.
This sounds so much like the entrants for the Eurovision or the ruling party in a country or the footie team that it's annoying me that that has all been ruled out. It seems that a national interest group with no link to politics, sport or music is required. Even family connections are tenuous. The heads of the Commonwealth?
(Superman) NOT those worthies. Try not to explode. The AOTC is an instantly recognisable entity but has few if any definite characteristics except one which is of course the AOTC itself.
Do these people observe something?
(Boolbar) Observers? NO.
Mornington Crescenters?
(gil) NO, not us lot
An orchestra?
(Bismarck) An orchestra? NO
Has this anything to do with an astronomical event?
Could this be the Merthyr Tydfil travelling supporter/s?
Shareholders at an AGM?
(Boolbar) Anything to do with an astronomical event? NO, not a thing.
(Superman) NOT those intrepid worthies, nor those of Cefn Druids, Stenhousemuir or Warlingham and Whyteleafe Rovers.
(Bismarcke) Shareholders at an AGM? NO.
Do the people in this group change from day to day?
(Boolbar) NO, not from day to day.
Does alcohol come into this at all?
Shopping?
Can you become a member of this group by being born?
(Superman) Booze? - NO
(Bismark) Shopping? - NO.
(Boolbar) A member of the group simply by being born? YES. *audience senses some insight into this utterly banal subject*
Queuing?
(Bismarcke) NO, not queueing.
The population of planet Earth?
(Raak) NO, not that extensive.
Something to do with royalty?
(Boolbar) Royalty? Could be theoretically, but extremely unlikely.
All people who share your birthday?
(Superman) Wot? Peter Cook, Jonafan Woss? NO, but you're moving towards the essential banality of the AOTC.
Hidden text17/11/42 if you must know :-)
Could this be found in Pittsburgh, PA, USA?
(drquuxum) In Pittsburg, Pa., USA? YES, it certainly could.
Er, Pittsburgh, that is.
Perhaps we're nearly there, but here's a recap:
The AOTC is a group of living humans (less than the population of Earth; could be just the one person but not likely, and could be unisex but not likely) who have been around a long time in some form or other; who share a common country (which could be the UK but not necessarily; they could be found in Pittsburgh, PA); who could be a family but not necessarily so; who share a common goal but a rather undefinable one, and could be said to gather in one place from time to time (but this would be a very strange way to describe it). You could become a member of this group just by being born.
The people in this group do not change from day to day, and they are not mythical, the staff of a business, a group of musicians (though this isn't excluded by the answer), the Tories, the Mafia, the heads of the Commonwealth, people who observe something, MCers, an orchestra, travelling football supporters, shareholders at an AGM or people who share a birthday, and are not connected with politics, a game, railways, food, an astronomical event, booze, shopping, queueing or royalty (well, could be, but extremely unlikely), and who are not intended to be rats or prats but could be.
Do the people in this group share a notable physical or medical trait?
(Tuj) NO - no typical physical or medical trait.
Does age come into it?
Does everyone belong to such a group?
Are hospitals involved in any way?
[Rosie] Your spelling of "Pittsburg" was canon from 1891-1911.
(Bismarck) Age? NO, not relevant.
(Boolbar) Not everyone but in a lot of countries nearly everyone. So in essence YES.
(drquuxum) NO, no hospitals involved. The pronunciation fits the old spelling, yes? In England with the new spelling it would be Pittsbra, approximately.
Is it something to do with where you are born?
Is a monetary exchange generally involved?
(Boolbar) Where you were born? NO
(drquuxum) Money? NO, not involved.
Religion?
(gil) NO, religion is not relevant.
Do addresses come into this?
(Boolbar) Addresses? In one way, YES, certainly. In a more general way, NO, not really.
People applying for a passport?
(Superman) NO, not that.
The residents of a named location?
(Boolbar)YES, literally so but not the AOTC.
The general population?
(Softers) NO, more specific than that.
Those on the voter rolls?
(Superman) NO, not the electoral register.
Anything to do with education?
(drquuxum) Hedgumacation? Nope.
That part of the population living in cities?
(Superman) City dwellers? NO.
The AOTC involves the location of people with respect to other people.
Do these people share their names with a television programme?
(dr Q) A TV programme? YES. *prolonged applause from audience, previously somnolent, not to say comatose*
Neighbours.
I eschewed the American spelling just for this.
(Dr Q) A noble act and a winning one. The actual AOTC is "next-door neighbours" but this is near enough if we're not to be here until the sun goes supergiant. I declare drquuxum the winner.
Thank you, Rosie. It's good to be back. Your next clue is…
ABSTRACT
Is this something that would exist without humans?
[Boolbar] NO.
An association of individuals with a common purpose?
[Rosie] NO.
Something to do with language or writing?
To do with art?
Can I perceive this through senses other than sight?
[Boolbar] NO. [Raak] NO. [Bismarck] YES.
Anything to do with music?
[Rosie] NO. (or at best tangentially)
Anything to do with food or drink?
To do with philosophy?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] NO. [Raak] NO. [Tuj] NO, and that's a little cheaty IMO ;-)
An aesthetic quality, e.g. beauty?
[Rosie] NO.
To do with mathematics?
[Raak] *thinks long and hard, trying to figure out how to answer this, and a sheepish reply emanates* YES?
A logical construct?
[Bismarck] Please define further?
Boolean logic?
Associated with a particular group of people?
[drq] =P
Something to do with sleep?
[Bismarck] NO. [Tuj] NO. ;-D [Boolbar] NO.
Do maps come into it?
[Superman] NO.
Does set theory come into this?
[Boolbar] NO.
A symbol?
Would this have been known to humans over 100 years ago?
[Bismarck] YES. [Boolbar] YES.
A weather forecast?
[Rosie] NO.
A mathematical symbol?
Is this named after some person or people?
[Bismarck] NO. [Tuj] YES. *smattering of applause*
A unit?
A theorem?
[Bismarck] NO. [Rosie] YES. *full audience applause*
That of Pythagoras?
[Software] NO. (Note: I changed around the order of Bismarck's and Rosie's posts for dramatic effect)
Electrical?
All units are named after someone with the exception of a Wales, an Olympic swimming pool and a London bus. This will be a long haul.
Tesla?
[Rosie] YES. [Bismarck] NO.
A three-letter word?
Does it contain a non-ASCII character?
[Rosie] SOMETIMES. [Raak] NO.
An Amp(ère)?
A British Thermal Unit should be good enough for anyone, what?
ROSIE IS CORRECT
*rupturous applesauce* YES, it was the Ampere, the SI unit of electrical current.
Ohm eye Gawd, I've won. What now?

Well, it's ANIMAL


Human?
Or are we dancer?
Primarily an aquatic being?
Female?
(Boolbar) Human? YES
(drquuxum) Aquatic? The mind boggles. NO.
(Bismarck) Female? YES
Charlotte Green?
It's been a while, but I still remember some of your proclivities, Rosie ;-)
Still alive?
Just the one person?
(Dr Q) The mellifluous Ms Green? Alas NO. Did you know she now reads the football results on Five Live? Such a relief from the routine snarly sports types.
(Boolbar) Alive? YES.
(Tuj) Just the one person? YES.
Fictitious?
A political figure?
A factual non-political figure?
(Dr Q) NO - Not fictitious.
(Boolbar) Political? - NO
(CdM) Factual? Not quite sure what you're getting at. This is a live non-politician.
European?
Athletic-type?
(Boolbar) European? YES
(drquuxum) Athletic type? NO. *audience crease themselves*
The Queen?
(Bismarck) Her Maj? NO. *audience amused*
Someone in the entertainment field (or at least purports to be)?
(drquuxum) Entertainment? YES.
British?
(Tuj) British? YES.
Has she ever appeared on Just a Minute?
(Bismarck) Just a minute? I don't know. I'd have thought not.
Hidden textI can't stand the programme
Known for singing?
(Boolbar) Known for singing? Er, NO. *some amusement in the audience*
Anything to do with the TV news?
Does she appear on-stage (that is, in person) with any regularity?
(Bismarck) News? NO.
(drquuxum) Not so much regularly as frequently.
Is she a Dame?
(Duj) A Dame? NO, at least not yet.
Does the person usually work with a comedic bent?
(Dr Q) Comedian? YES, but there are other strings to her bow.
Has she appeared on Have I Got News For You?
(Boolbar) HIGNFY? YES. *audience cheers*
Does she change the colour of her hair frequently?
Scottish?
(drquuxum) Hair colour change? I can't say for certain, but the answer is probably YES.
(Boolbar) Scottish? NO.
Jo Brand?
The splendid JO BRAND it is! Well done Dr Q. Your turn.
Woot! I've only seen a bit of Jo Brand's work on QI & HIGNFY; I hope to see more. In any event, the new category is:
MINERAL
Stone?
Is it something created by humans?
Was it once alive?
The Angel of the North?
[Rosie] YES. [Boolbar] NO. [Bismarck] NO. [Gusset] NO.
Is it not on planet Earth?
[Boolbar] YES, it is not on the Earth.
Is it real?
An exoplanet?
An asteroid?
A comet?
The Moon, now it's back after the eclipse?
Sorry for the delay.
[Superman] YES.
[Raak] NO.
[Rosie] MAYBE.
[Boolbar] NO.
[Bismarck] NO.
[Rosie] PS - Jo Brand has been on Just A Minute, but not since 1999.
Pluto?
I'd have thought Jo Brand is too laconic for Just a Minute.
[Rosie] NO. Probably why she hasn't been on in 18 years.
Is it a collection of objects?
[Boolbar] NO.
A moon of another planet?
[Bismarck] YES. *audience woooooos*
Phobos?
In the Jovian system?
ROSIE IS CORRECT
Indeed, the Martian moon Phobos. That was quick.
Your turn, Rosie.

Does it be-
Oh, too late!
And the next object is:
ABSTRACT WITH MINERAL CONNECTIONS.
Is it a process?
(drquuxum) NO, not a process.
Is it Art?
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
(Raak) Art? NO.
(Boolbar) Phrase etc, NO.
Is it something that has existed/would exist without humans?
(drquuxum) Would it exist/have existed without humans? YES.
A physical theory?
Chemistry?
(Raak) A physical theory? NO.
(Superman) NOT chemistry.
Is the mineral stone?
(Bismarck) Stone? NO.
A figurative expression?
Is it associated with a particular location?
(Raak) A figurative expression? CAN BE, but there is an equally valid literal meaning.
(Tuj) Associated with a partcular location? NO.
Geology?
(Bismarck) NO, nothing to do with geology.
Radioactive decay?
(Superman) Radioactive decay? NO.
Is it known to happen/exist anywhere outside of the planet Earth?
Anything to do with earth?
As in soil.
(Dr Q) Elsewhere than Earth? In a literal sense YES but that is not at all helpful.
(Boolbar) NO, nothing to do with earth in that sense.
Anything to do with communication?
(drquuxum) NO, nothing to do with communication.
Weather related?
(Boolbar) Weather related? YES. *audience cheers*
A sh*t storm?
[Software] I feel like that would be more of "Animal connections". :D
is the mineral water?
(Software) Explosive diarrhea? NO.
(Superman) Water? YES.
Are clouds anything to do with this?
(Boolbar) Clouds? YES and NO.
Cloudy with sunny intervals and occasional rain spreading from the east with possible patches of fog and later on if the sky clears there may be some frost through the night?
The shipping forecast?
Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue?
They don't write them like that anymore.
(Raak and Bismarck) NO. It's not a forecast.
(Boolbar) Most definitely NOT a rainbow.
Lightning?
Contrails?
A t(r)opical storm?
(drquuxum) Lightning? NO.
(Raak) "Aircraft cirrus"? NO.
(Superman) NOT a storm of any kind.
Humidity?
(Dr Q) Humidity? NO. *some rather unkind sniggers from the audience*
Precipitation?
Is the water standing? (As opposed to running. Or sitting with its legs crossed)
Is the water frozen?
Flooding?
(Boolbar) Precipitation? NO. *audience sniggers turn to giggling*
(CdM) The water is not standing, it has withdrawn.
(drquuxum) Frozen? Impossible to say.
(Superman) Flooding? NO. *audience quite bewildered*
Is it something to do with a lack of rain?
The sudden withdrawal of the sea before a tsunami?
(Boolbar) A lack of rain? YES. *prolonged applause from the audience*
(Raak) Preparing for the inundation? NO.
Evaporation?
Drought?
(Superman) NOT evaporation.
(drquuxum)YESSSS! A total or very nearly total absence of aqueous entities. Well done Dr Q. We've got this little game sorted, haven't we?

Your turn again.


Given that Boolbar gave the clear winning clue, I'd be willing to let them have a go if they agree. [Offer expires in 48 hours]

The DrQ-Boolbar summit
Are the negotiations proceeding well, and will a communiqué be released in due course?
I suppose I'll defer to Boolbar at a later date. In the meantime, let's continue with the lesser-used...

VEGETABLE


Trump?
Can you smoke it?
Is it a foodstuff?
Raak: NO.
Superman: NO.
Rosie: YES.
Dairy-free yoghurt?
Raak: NO. *audience oohs already*
Does it grow from a grain?
Bismarck: PARTIALLY.
Is it used in making a drink?
Rosie: NO. *mild chortling from the audience*
Muesli?
A vegetarian form of imitation meat?
Superman: NO.
Raak: PARTIALLY.
Does soya come into it?
Superman: POSSIBLY.
In the AOTC, is the foodstuff for human consumption?
Superman: YES, but what does Star Wars have to do with this?
Ahem, WE'RE asking the questions, laddie. Is this fast food
Vat-grown meat?
Bismarck: NO, and that's "lassie" to you >:P
Raak: NO.
A vegetarian sausage?
I see I should pop by more often...
Boolbar: NO, and possibly so.
A breakfast cereal?
Bismarck: NO.
Quorn?
Whatever that is
Software: NO.
A complete meal?
Boolbar: YES.
A TV dinner?
Bismarck: NO.
Quinoa?
Whatever that is.
A breakfast meal?
Boolbar: NO, except if you're reaaaally hung over and just don't care.
Boolbar: NO, except if you're reaaaally hung over and just don't care.
"Pop tarts"?
I preferred the metal tarts, myself
Superman: NO.
One of these meal replacement mixtures fashionable among geeks, like Solyent, Huel, etc.?
Raak: NO.
Frozen pizza?
Bis: NO.
Does this meal include potato?
Boolbar: NO.
Do you find this in a fast food outlet?
Raak: NO.
Is this barbecued food?
Recap
Not sure we're getting close to the doctor's order. A recap:
IS a human foodstuff, and a complete potato-free meal thereof.
IS PARTIALLY grown from grain, vegetarian, and it might have some soya in it. You would only have it for breakfast if you're really wasted.
IS NOT ... pretty much everything else, including a drink constituent, pizza, breakfast cereal, ready dinner, veggie meat substitute, and fast food.
We're still waiting to find out if it's quinoa or barbecued.
Leftover question regarding quinoa: NO.
Boolbar (BBQ): NO.
Bis: Per Raak's question of "Vegetarian form of imitation meat", the answer was PARTIALLY, not NO.
Is the food/meal associated particularly with a country?
Bismarck: Debatable, but let's say YES.
Is it customarily eaten with chopsticks?
Steak and kidney pudding?
Raak: NO.
Superman: NO.
Are we looking for the constituent name of the ingredients like "Meat and two veg"?
Are looking for a name as It might appear on a menu, like "Waldorf salad"?
Bismarck #1: NO.
Bismarck #2: YES.
Is it Waldorf salad?
Bismarck: NO.
Nasi goreng?
Superman: Wot?
Well, obvs ain't that, then *ticks another tofu-containing dish off the list*
Is it a spicy meal?
Full English breakfast?
A vegie breakfast?
Rogan josh?
Boolbar: CAN BE; NOT OBLIGATORY.
Bismarck: NO.
Software: NO (but see previous commentary)
Superman: NO.
Some sort of soup?
Does salad come into it?
Can one obtain all the ingredients in the typical supermarket?
Boolbar: NO.
Bismarck: NO.
Raak: MAYBE? I'm not sure what would be considered "typical" in a British supermarket. A sufficiently-large USA supermarket would be a YES.
A quick lorainney? (as they say in my parts)
Superman: Wot?
Sheesh... a quiche lorraine?
Some type of pie?
Sup: NO.
Bool: NO.
Is it usually eaten hot?
Bool: YES.
Anyone? Bueller?
Does the meal include pasta?
Superman: YES. *wave of applause emanate from the audience as they are awoken from their slumber*
A spaghetti dish?
Bool: NO.
Lasagne/Lasagna ?
Gusset: YES. *Audience in resounding applause*
Lasagne pescatore?
Bis: NO.
Lasagna vegetarian?
Close enough
I was specifically going for "Vegan Lasagna" (with non-dairy Ricotta and TVP-like meat), but I figure with this lot it'd be a bit too pedantic.

Superman takes the victory and the next subject!


Oh like wow
I'd just like to thank you. And my lawyer. And my mother. And my brain surgeon. Without you it wouldn't be the same. And to all those millions who have contributed to this success, you're wonderful. Most of you are anyway. I sincerely hope vague praise is enough for you, because I'm keeping the rest.

But on with the show! Now greater, better, yellower, and it's...
ANIMAL !
Is it Tuj asking if it begins with P?
Edible?
Mammal?
Can you eat it?
Human?
Can you eat it? I dunno. Stupid old fool.
Unique?
Is it alive?
Incidentally, my first post in this game for nearly 17 months. oops!
Hello class
Your marks, in order:
[Boolbar] NO, leave Tuj alone.
[Raak] YES, but even so wait for lunch break
[Rosie] NO, we are not cannibals, and do fifty lines "I must not insult myself, others are there to do it"
[Tuj] NO, there are uncounted examples
[Phil] YES, unlike certain pupils in class 2B. Don't forget to give your name for the register.
Yeah, but is it human?
If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?
[Rosie] NO, now move on to exercise two.
[CdM] I see you have reached exercise 421, well done! NO, of course. Maybe you can sit next to Rosie and help him along.
Repeating: Mammal?
Is it a fish?
[Drq] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Is it a bird?
Hmm, so you answered "No" to 'If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?'. So you would not say "No" (ie. you would say "Yes"*) to the question "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?". Hence it does begin with "P".
* Or you might have answered "Maybe" which throws any attempt at logic out of the window.
A parrot, dead perhaps?
Does it fly?
Is it alive?
Ill logic
[Boolbar] I always wondered if "Bool" meant a Boolean logical construct and "bar" meant the logical inverse of that construct, thus permitting the assumption about the local valid of "true" and "false" of the "Boolbar" referential. Is it true?
[Software] NO, unwanted dead or alive.
[Raak] It does not fly of its own accord.
[Bismarck] Dead or alive makes no difference, it's the name of the thing I'm after.
Does it begin with P?
Hopefully collapsing the waveform.
Repeating: Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Catching up
[Boolbar] NOT a bird.
[DrQxm] Colour is not important.
[Tuj] One of the words on the card does.
A mushroom or fungus?
Macroscopic?
[Bism] NO, not fungus. [DrQx] errrmmm... This cannot be seen by the unaided eye.
botulism?
Applause from the audience
[Software] NO.
A bacterium?
A virus?
[Bismarck] Yes! Audience start clapping.
[Raak] NO.
Yeast?
Salmonella?
Clostridium botulinum?
Would Porton Down take any interest in it?
Wee beasties
[Raak] NO, that's a fungus.
[Software] NO, this won't poison you.
[Rosie] NO.
[drquuxum] NO, though for all I know they might take a passing interest.
Amoeba?
Does it have a flagellum?
[Raak] NO, amoebae are eukaryotic.
[drquuxum] NO flagella.
E. coli?
Streptococcus thermophilus?
Back-to-bacteria
[Raak] Audience starts clapping, but it's NO.
[Software] Audience now cheering! Still NO.
Staph?
Lactobacillus delbrueckii subsp. bulgaricus?
?
[Raak] N.
[Software] NO. You were hot, but you're cooling.
Reminder: One of the words begins with Tuj P.
Pneumococcus?
Oohs from the audience
[drquuxum] NO, we're going around the answer without quite getting there.
Streptococcus pneumoniae?
© Lurkers Я Us
Top of the class
CdM has it! Streptococcus pneumoniae it is. Take this very small baton along with the Mrs Joyful prize for raffia work and look smug over there while the audience applauds.
Uh-oh
Well, that technically wasn't quite a lurker's victory, because I did ask one previous question. But I have been basically absent here for a long time and have almost forgotten how to play this game. Let's go for an ABSTRACT with ANIMAL AND MINERAL CONNECTIONS.
Medusa?
Stony silence from the audience
Medusa? No.
On reflection it might be more accurate to call this: ABSTRACT and partly MINERAL (with ANIMAL connections).
Is it art?
The audience doesn’t know, but they do know what they like
Art? No.
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
Is it a representation, in a mineral substance, of an animal?
The green eye of the little yellow god?
Well-known phrase or saying? The words on the card make up a 12-word phrase (including the definite article) that is certainly not a well-known phrase or saying. However, I will also accept other shorter and more familiar phrases (the most common of which is five words long, including the definite article). That said, the point of the answer is not that it is a well-known phrase, if you see what I mean.
Mineral representation of an animal? *smattering of applause* The mineral piece does include a representation of an animal.
Green eye of yellow god? No.
Is this a part of Arthurian legend?
Arthurian? No. *a slight smile appears briefly on the face of a particularly well informed audience member*
Does it exist on this earth?
Is it a representative symbol or logo?
Earthly? Yes.
Swoosh? No.
Is it part of some other body of legend?
Legendary? No. (You should ignore the smiling audience member; I guarantee it won't help.)
Is this found in the works of Shakespeare?
Shakespearean? No.
Is it representative of a person?
Representative of a person? *some audience applause*     Taking this first as a narrow question, following on Raak's question before last, I would now amend my answer to say: Yes, The mineral piece does include a representation of an person. Thinking about the AOTC more generally, it depends a bit on how you interpret the word "representative", but the best answer is No.
The demolishing of the statues of Civil War generals in the South of the United States?
A few o many words...
But is it art?
Would the AOTC have been known in the year 1950?
Confederasing? No.
Art? No. *some laughter from the more cynical members of the audience*
Known in 1950? No. *while this answer is indubitably correct, it nonetheless prompts some discussion in the audience*
Something to do with winning an award or a competition?
To do with winning award or competition? Yes. *sustained applause*
An Oscar?
Connected to a sporting event?
Oscar? No.
Sporting? No.
A trophy or medal of some sort?
Does this refer to them what has won a game on this here page?
Trophy or Medal? *applause* The mineral part of the answer is a medal.
Local game winner? *laughter* The AOTC is not a winner of an MC game. And I am highly confident that no game-winner here has one of the aforementioned medals.
Is this medal awarded for scientific achievement?
Is this medal awarded for bravery?
Is a new medal created for each recipient?
As opposed to passing it around.
Scientific achievement? Yes. *some laughter from exactly the same cynics who we’re laughing previously*
Bravery? No.
New medal for each recipient? Yes. *applause for the question*
The Swedish National Bank's Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel?
Also known as "The Nobel Prize in Economics".
Well, technically, my card says "Sverige Riksbank", which is why it has 12 words as advertised, not 13. But, YES, Raak now has a gold baton with his name inscribed on the edge.
Your Royal Highness, members of the Nobel committee, jealous also-rans, ladies and gentlemen. To begin a brief informal sketch of the work that led to this award, consider the topos of Liesenring-Schmethold operators over a symplectic manifold equipped with the Swale cohomology on its cotangent bundle...(contd. p.94)

The next is MINERAL.

Stone?
By volume, almost entirely stone.
Sculpted into the likeness of something, like me for instance?
Not a likeness.
Is it a mountain?
Not a mountain.
The pyramids?
A heavenly body?
[S] Not the pyramids.
[B] Not a heavenly body.
Inscribed in any way?
Is it unique?
Well solved, btw!
Does it possess Buddha-nature?
Is it a geological formation?
[R] Not inscribed.
[T] Unique.
[S] Mu.
[d] *applause* A geological formation.
Is it entirely within one country?
Is it a desert?
[B] Not within one country.
[d] Not a desert.
Was it formed within the last fifteen million years?
[S] Not formed within the last fifteen million years.
Is water or ice involved?
The African Rift Valley?
Long shot. I'm not sure how old that is.
[d] No water or ice involved, except incidentally.
[R] Not the African Rift Valley.
Is it primarily underground?
[d] I think you could say that any geological formation is primarily underground, even Mount Everest. If the question is whether it is entirely underground, the answer is no.
A specific archipelago?
[D] Not an archipelago.
Mountains?
[B] (Confers with Mycroft) Mountains would be part of it.
Big? (More than 1000 miles in any direction except up)
[R] (polite applause) Big.
A continent?
[C] (more applause) A continent.
Does this continent exist today?
[S] (even more applause) This continent does not exist today.
Rodinya?
[B] Not Rodinya.
Gondwanaland?
[R] Not Gondwanaland.
Pangaea?
Laurasia?
[S] Not Laurasia, but...
[B] Pangaea it is.
Moving quickly on a geological timescale, pausing only to thank the tectonic forces that fashioned this earth with the odd helping hand from extraterrestrial meteorites, read this carefully-arranged eruption which spells

ABSTRACT
(as well as trouble for a few geological theories when it's discovered).

Is it a thing known to exist on the planet Earth?
The theory expounded by the Flat Earth Society?
Themyscira?
Counter-Earth?
Hell?
Hadean epoch
Welcome, welcome to one and all.
[DrQ] It's abstract. Really quite abstract. So yes, if only in our minds.
[Duj] Not the flat-earthers.
[Boo] No Amazons here (with Black Friday coming, that may be a relief)
[Raak] Not our twin from the dark side.
[Gus] Topical in this epoch, but not relevant.
Is it a human feeling?
[Rosie] No, it isn't.
Is it something found in a work of fiction?
Archean eon approaching
[DrQ] It is often used as a word and a concept in many forms of writing.
Let me add that there is one word on the card.
Does it begin with M?
Does it end with M?
Utopia?
Is there an M in the AOTC anywhere?
Mesoarchaean
[Tuj], [Boolbar], [Gusset Login], there is no M.
[Raak]Utopia is nowhere to be seen.
Is it an emotion?
Is it something mythical?
Proterozoic
[Tuj] This cannot be felt.
[Raak] Your myth does not hit.
Is it something that you might find on this website?
[drquuxum] Most definitely.
Time?
Life appears with enough appendages to applaud
(Sup) NO, but the audience wakes up and claps. A bit.
Language?
Does the word on the card have more than six letters?
Wit?
[Boolbar] Not language.
[Superman] No.
[Rosie] Not wit.
Scattered applause here and there for all that.
Is it typographical in nature?
The Ding an sich?
Phanerozoic here, how are you?
Lots of good stuff coming now. Both on the right evolutionary branch.
[DrQuuxum] If you mean ems, ens and that sort of thing, no.
[Raak] No, though in a sense, as you taught us to say, isn't everything?
Is it a figure of speech?
[Tuj] I don't think you could call it that.
A guess?
Cambrian era, when all was Welsh
[Boolbar] Not a guess.
Is the word a noun?
Dinosauria?
[Superman] oh boy, the difficult one... No, but there is a phrase in which this gets nouned.
Is it the title of a film?
Any ideas for a plan of attack anybody?
Time for Snowball Earth
[Tuj] Not a film title. Doesn't begin with P either, but it does begin with a letter that is a rotation or reflection of P.
Beauty?
Tectonically...
[Bool] That's pretty good guess, in a way, but... No.
Could you say it was discovered?
Discovey of time
[Tuj] No. But someone did, I suppose. Probably Eve when you look back at it.
Evil?
[Raak] No, not the good answer.
Related to the Grim Reaper?
Is it a verb?
[Lurk] No, don't think so.
[Soup] no, but as in your previous question, there is a famous phrase where it is treated as a verb.
Does it begin with B?
[Boolbar] Yes!
I have not played this game before . . .
Is it Bang the Drum Slowly?
[KaShu] No but it doesn't half feel like it.
Banter?
Doesn't time fly
[Boolbar] No, still simpler, still more abstract.
Black?
Be?
[CdM] Not a colour.
[Boolbar] That's getting close in abstraction to the answer. Not a verb
Being?
[Raak] Unbearable lightness? No.
Begin?
Borrowing Raak's letters.
[Boolbar] No, but I regret it.
Does the answer on the card have exactly 1 letter "e" in it?
Random guessing now.
Anything to do with mathematics?
Anyone else have any ideas?
A move!
[Boolbar] No "e" whatever, nothing to do with maths.
Look, it begins with "b", it's short (hint: 3 letters), it's not a verb, a noun (notwithstanding a famous phrase in which it gets used as both a noun and a verb),or adjective and I'm regretting having used it. Not enough to give the answer?
But?
The winner
[Raak] finishes the game in style. That'll teach me to take something small and easy.
But...ah. The next is MINERAL.
Is this an astronomical body?
Not an astronomical body.
Unique?
Not unique.
Is it natural?
Not natural.
Predominantly made of metal?
IS it the Angel of the North?
[Tuj] Not predominantly metal.
[Bismarck] Not the AotN.
Are they still being made today?
Still made today.
Made largely of plastic?
Not largely plastic.
Larger than a toaster?
Can be larger than a toaster.
Is it made of brick?
Not made of brick.
Does it have moving parts?
No moving parts.
A piece of furniture?
Not furniture.
An ornament?
Stone?
[B] Can be an ornament.
[S] Not stone.
Made mostly of wood?
Smaller members of the audience fidget and ask, "Are we nearly there yet?" "Soon," say their parents unconvincingly.
Not at all made of wood.
Actually...
On further study, this IS made mostly of metal.
Does it begin with P?
Where these being made before the year 1900?
[T] Does not begin with P.
[B] (a ripple of applause) Were being made before 1900.
Used in the kitchen?
Not used in the kitchen.
Does it have glass in it?
Strictly speaking, the thing itself does not have glass in it.
Is it used to measure something?
Not used to measure anything.
A lamppost?
Not a lamppost.
Summary: mainly metal (but note the "strictly speaking" concerning the glass question), made now and before 1900 (perhaps predominantly the latter, judging by the audience reaction), can be larger than a toaster, not unique, not naturally occurring, no moving parts, not furniture, not a measuring device, not a kitchen item, not a lamppost.
Yeah, well, that pretty much sums it up, innit, Raak?
- A mirror?
Not a mirror.
Connected with illumination?
One could say that it is indirectly connected with illumination.
A window?
Not a window. More indirect than that.
Electrical?
Not electrical.
An oil lamp?
Not an oil lamp.
Usually used or found outdoors?
Not usually used or found outdoors.
Connected with a fireplace?
Nothing to do with a fireplace.
Something to do with beverages?
Nothing to do with beverages.

Hint: the connection with light might be the most promising approach.

Candles?
Does the light connection involve natural light?
[B] Not candles.
[R] Can involve natural light.
Is it connected with photography?
(The audience erupts at this sudden relief from their ordeal.)
It is connected with photography.
Some sort of reflector?
Not a reflector.
Camera lens?
Not a lens.
Photo paper?
(a ripple of applause) Not photo paper. (Made of metal, remember.)
A camera tripod?
(the audience sit with firmly folded arms.) Not a tripod.
A photo plate?
(applause) Yes, a type of photographic plate.
The audience fumes impatiently while the hare decides to take a nap just short of the finishing line.
A lantern slide?
Not a lantern slide.
A speculum?
Copper plate?
[B] Not a speculum.
[R] Yes, it is a copper plate.
A Daguerrotype?
YES, a daguerrotype. Have this framed daguerrotype of the baton used by the conductor at the opening ceremony of the Great Exhibition of 1851.
C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas daguerre. Oh yes it is.

Right then, the next one is

MINERAL with an ABSTRACT feel


A sculpture?
(Raak) Nice try but not a sculpture.
is it fictional?
(Superman) Fictional? NO, it's real.
Is it on planet Earth?
(Boolbar) On the earth? NO. *some audience titters*
Can it be seen from Earth?
Is it within planet Earth?
The centre of the Earth?
(Bismarck) Visible from earth? NO. *audience visibly animated*
(Boolbar) NOT within planet earth.
(Raak) NOT the centre of the earth.
The centre of the universe?
(Superman) Centre of the universe? Who knows where that is? It's not the AOTC.
Is it in our solar system?
(Tuj) YES, it's in the Solar System.
A dwarf planet?
Pertaining to the Moon?
(Boolbar) NOT a dwarf planet.
(Dujon) Pertaining to the moon? YES. *audience frenzy*
Tranquillity Base?
(Bismarck) Tranquility Base? NO.
Sounds like a mood-altering alkaloid.
Is it man-made?
(Superman) Man-made? NO.
The dark side of the moon?
(CdM) The dark side of the moon? CLOSE but no cigar. *Confused reaction from audience. Some fighting.*
Eclipse?
(Bismarck) Eclipse? NO.
A specific feature on the far side of the moon?
(CdM) NO, not a specific feature.
The moon itself?
(Superman) The moon itself? NO.
A crater?
(Boolbar) NO, not a crater.
A sea?
(Superman) NOT a sea. I have a feeling the questioners have run past the target.
The Moon-Earth Trojan points?
(Raak) Well, grab me by the Lagranges. Nothing so technical.
The near side of the moon?
(Raak) Near side of the moon? NO. *audience jumps up and down in frustration*
The centre of the moon?
*roll of drums* The Crescent moon?
The roughly 41% of the moon's surface not visible from Earth?
YES! The synchronously rotating BOOLBAR has it. It's The far side of the moon. OK, your go.
Oo! Let's end that phase and begin another. Something hopefully quick as I will be busy soon.

ABSTRACT ANIMAL

I'm not really sure how to play this
Is this a mythical creature?
How to Play
[KagomeShuko] Welcome. Others who've played more will correct me if I get this wrong I'm sure, but I think it's pretty straightforward - ask a question to narrow down the possibilities (just as you have!), then await the answer from Boolbar - later on make specific guesses, once you've an idea. Scroll back to earlier rounds for the flavour of it...
Q: Is it a heraldic animal?
Off to a flying start.
[KagomeShuko] Questions should be those which can be answered with a simple "Yes" or "No". Speaking of which...
(KagomeShuko) Mythical?  YES. But that wouldn't be the first thing you'd think of when the answer on the card is revealed. So I predict a lot of questions which are going to go down the wrong path.
(blamelewis) Heraldic?  NO.
A metaphorical animal?
I think it is better to say
Mythical creature? NO as the AOTC is not a creature of ancient myths itself, but belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth.
(Raak) A metaphorical animal? NO.
The komodo dragon?
As in a not so mythical beast, though I shall attempt to emblazon one on the family crest.
Dragging on.
(Bismarck) Komodo NO.
The Beast from the East?
Originating from a specific work of fiction?
Still skirting around the edges.
(Rosie) Cold weather? NO.
(Tuj) Originating from a specific work of fiction? YES.
Begins with P?
The Hydra?
Was the fiction concerned written in the last twenty years?
[Tuj] P? - pNO.
(Rosie) Hydra? NO.
(Superman) Last 20 years? The original origin, NO.
Are we looking for a family or genus of animals
(Superman) Family or genus? NO
Is it Frankenstein's Monster?
Wild guess :)
(blamelewis) Frankenstein's Monster? NO. But I believe we are starting to head a teeny tad in the right direction.
Double Identity?
Does this monster exist within the same body as a "Dr."?
(KagomeShuko) Monster/Dr.? NO (for both) but some of the audience got exited at the mention of double identity...
Is the source of the myth Scandinavian?
It's a mythtery.
(Superman) From Scandinavian myth? NO
Are we in the world of Tolkien?
(Knobbly) Tolkien related? NO
Is the original origin piece of fiction something that was originally published in English?
(blamelewis) Origin fiction in English? YES
Belonging to a class of mythical creatures, the specific animal was originally from an English piece of fiction from over twenty years ago (but possibly re-used since). Not a heraldic animal, nor a monster, not from Tolkien, not Scandinavian.
Is the animal a canine?
Was a song written about it?
Who let the dogs out?
Note : English language but not necessarily English. And as I put it "belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth" but that won't help much.
(Bismarck) Doggy? NO
(Bismarck) A song? YES (more of a by-product) and at least one other obscure and dreadful song that I know of.
Is the animal bit human?
Reckon the animal bit us the wrong track. There's bet free that aren't heraldic, or monstrous.
Auto-correct strikes again!
(Bismarck) Human? YES (in the broad sense of being human).
Audience give a hearty cheer.
Is it from Chaucer?
Or originally in American English?
Flying Chaucers
(blamelewis) Chaucer? NO   American English? YES
Is it a ghostly apparition in human form?
(blamelewis) Ghostly? Woo! NO
A figure in American folk tales, like John Bunyan?
(Bismarck) Folky? NO
Just to confuse: I've found that the AOTC was a ghost on one occasion but I doubt that will help anyone here.
Was the original American English story written in the 20th century?
[Superman] 20th Century? YES!
Transformation?
Is this a human that turns into another creature?
Is science fiction involved?
*Some of the audience hums at the mention of transformation*
(KagomeShuko) Human that turns into another creature? NO but within their history, the AOTC has had a few methods of "changing" :)
(Bismarck) Science fiction? Hmm, there are many Sci-fi elements that come into this, so it is involved, yes.
I thought this could be simple but I forgot the AOTC has had so much variation over the years.
Little green men?
(Superman) Little green men? I like your thinking, but NO. (The AOTC has met little green men though).
A superhero?
What is AOTC? And hatching?
Is transforming not necessarily transforming, but like hatching from an egg?
(KagomeShuko) AOTC = "Answer on the Card" or in other words : the answer you are looking for. As for the tiny hint about transforming: it is an everyday transformation that we are all capable of doing. The AOTC has a few nifty ways of doing it.
(Raak) Superhero? YES. *cue audience going wild with excitement*
Superman?
(If it's not that, I *bet* it's either a bird or a plane!)
(Superman) Superman? (NO) NO.
(blamelewis) No birds or planes, at least not that I can see. *some audience tittering*
The Incredible Hulk?
Having a smashing time
(Bismarck) Hulk? Incredibly NO.
Is the superhero concerned a baddie?
(Superman) Baddie? NO
A Marvel character?
A marvellous guess, but...
(Bismarck) Marvel? NO
This is bothering me. Everything I can think of that involves superhero persons changing doesn't involve little green men, and everything I can think of involving little green men doesn't involve changing. I'm stuck.
Can this superhero move incredibly fast?
Sorry... been busy
(Raak) Fast? YES. "Incredibly fast"? Possibly. The AOTC can move faster than us, some versions extremely fast. Not usually as fast as the previously mentioned Superman though.
(Bismarck) See note I made just above about changing to KagomeShuko. And "little green men" was only one or two story lines of many. Neither are particularly important in the grand scheme of things. Non-Marvel superhero : that does narrow things down a tad. :)
Anything to do with Star Trek?
Beam me up...
(Superman) Anything to do with Star Trek? NO. (Aside from any actors who have appeared in roles connected with both Star Trek and the AOTC. Oh, and the occasional transporter use.)
(sound of possible penny)
Is the hero occasionally invisible?
penny spins around...
(blamelewis) Invisible at times? *Some muttering in the audience* Well, the AOTC can't become invisible themselves but can use something they own to make themselves invisible (even though within comics and other media they are usually still visible, otherwise you'd be looking at scenery for a few frames!)
Caped crusaders - as a general class?
Supergirl?
(Superman) Caped crusader? Given that the AOTC comes from the same era as most of the famous caped crusaders and has often appeared alongside other caped crusaders then I guess they would belong to that class. However the AOTC does not usually wear a cape (except for ceremonial or official duties).
(Chalky) Nice to see you. And Supergirl? NO *Audience applauds guess though*
Catwoman?
Something from Thunderbirds?
(Raak)  Catwoman?  NO, but I have a comic with Catwoman fighting the AOTC on the cover...
(Bismarck)  Thunderbirds are NO.
Batgirl?
I think the "invisible thing" gave me the answer . . .
Is the AOTC Wonder Woman?
Merciful Minerva!
(Chalky) Batgirl? NO
(KagomeShuko) Wonder Woman? Great Hera! That is the right answer!

Let me pass you this invisible baton... which I'm sure I left around here somewhere.


I THINK I've got this, maybe? Sorry if I don't quite get it yet . . .
OCCUPATION ANIMAL
Is the animal a canine?
Some of the audience gets a little too excited at the mention of a number
A canine? Not even close.
Human?
Is it unique?
Human
The audience laughs, but also hums at human The animals itself isn't a human, but a human can certainly have that occupation.
Unique
There are certainly more than one person that holds the occupation and there are certainly more than one animal of this kind.
A donkey?
(KS) You are giving a little too much away. Your replies can be one-word if you want.
Hmm, I'd have to say that guess is a bit "Ass"inine.
Definitely not a donkey.
Would the word used for this animal also be used to describe an illicit carrier?
illicit
I've not heard of either word being one for an illicit carrier.
Does this animal provide any useful material?
This animal doesn't provide us with any useful materials.
A lion tamer?
Is the animal a bird?
Are we trying to guess a griffin here?
There' no lion about this - no lions and no birds.
Is it unicellular?
O HAI ERRYONE
Does it have a little light? :-)
Cells and lights . . .
While prison cells need more lights, this animal definitely has more than one cell (and nothing "uni" that I know) and definitely doesn't not have a light.
Is the animal a fish?
Here fishy, fishy
No fish jump into your boat. No fish here . . .
Is the animal a mammal?
Many members of the audience start questioning . . .
The animal itself isn't a mammal, but the descriptor of the animal in the front is . . .
Is this a mythological being or beings?
Nothing is mything. This animals is completely realistic.
Does politics come into this?
No politics at play - or work - or rest.
A hybrid creature?
Vroom Vroom
Hybrid? I thought those were cars . . .
Nope, not a hybrid creature
Does theatre come into it?
Four-legged?
Theatre? There's nothing theatre specific, though the creature might come into the theatre and the human descriptor might be in the theatre, too.
Audience oohs and ahs . . .
Four legs? Definitely not a four-legged creature.
An insect?
Is the human reference the word "man" or "woman"?
The audience leans towards Boolbar in anticipation
Yes, indeed, the animal is an insect!
The descriptor that is human could be either a man or a woman, but it doesn't contain either word.
Butterfly catcher?
Is this a flying beastie?
The audience makes uncertain noises
This animal definitely does not catch butterflies (nor is it a butterfly). It can fly, but it usually isn't common to see them flying - nor is it usually a good sign, but that always depends on where they are flying and why . . .
Some sort of beetle?
Nope, not a beetle.
Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home...?
Or stay put . . .
Not a ladybird or a ladybug. The human descriptor could refer to either gender and thing in total is two words, not one word.
Some type of ant?
Queen bee?
The audience gasps in anticpation
Not a bee, but definitely some type of ant! Getting warmer!!
The carpenter ant?
Ding! Ding! Ding! Winner, winner, Have a berliner!
Yes, indeed Bismarck, it is the Carpenter Ant!!!!
Well that was a surprise. Nice subject, thanks Mr Shuko. Here we go with a


MINERAL

objectithing for your ongoing delight.

Is it found on planet Earth?
Metalic?
Manufactured?
A spaceship built of stone?
[Boolbar] Earthly? YES.
[Software] Metallic? NO, not essentially.
[Rosie] Artificial? NO.
[Raak] NO. But a very good guess.
A meteorite?
?Oumuamua?
That should have been 'Oumuamua.
Is it in Australia?
Is it unique?
This might be over quite quickly...
[Rosie] NO, not a celestial object
[Raak] NO, see above
[Superman] YES, it's down under
[Tuj] YES, there can be only one.
Uluru?
Well blow down my didgeridoo
Yup, that was easy enough. Ayers Rock did finish a little-known Australian SF story called The Mountain Movers by being revealed as a stone space ship. Nevertheless Rosie gets there first and will take this boomerang-shaped baton for the next round. Well done!
Here we are at last
Talking of boomerangs, I made one in 1974 from instructions in the New Scientist, which explained the aerodynamics. I've still got it; it's probably under a pile of junk in the garage somewhere. It really works but you need an area the size of a football pitch and preferably no wind. Boomerangs are chiral, i.e. -handed and mine, to suit, is a southpaw. Having said all that, it's now deduction time.

The next object, which has but the most tenuous link with steam engines, is:

VEGETABLE and MINERAL

Who knows she (Yes, Bismarck, KagomeShuko is female) is not making any sense, but wanted to be silly
Is it a potato iron?
Salt and vinegar crisps?
A lemon battery?
A fossilized tree?
The Golden Arrow?
(KagomeSuko) Ace silliness, but wide of the mark by some distance.
(Raak) Well-known dehydrating agent? NO.
(Boolbar) Lemon battery? NO. Nor a Van de Grapefruit machine.
(Superman) NOT a fossilised tree.
(Softers) The flesh door? NO, not even when steam-hauled, alas.
Any wood (or trees) in this?
(Boolbar) There ought not to be. Basically, NO.
A bowl of vegetable soup?
Restaurant Car?
(Bismarck) Well, that's scrumptious thought but it ain't the answer.
(Softers) Not a restaurant car. You wouldn't get this in a decent restaurant car.
Coffee in a paper cup?
s/paper/plastic/
Is the mineral metal?
(Raak) Coffee in a paper cup. NO. *audience perks up*
(Superman) Mineral metal? NO. *some tittering among audience*
A carbonated beverage?
A beverage and its receptacle?
Mineral = stone?
(Boolbar) Carbonated beverage? Burp! NO.
(Raak) Beverage + receptacle? NO.
(Softers) Mineral not stone.
Is the mineral part glass?
(Bismarck) Glass? NO. *horrified laughs from the audience*
Is the vegetable human-edible?
Be it liquid at room temperature?
Lovely boomerang anecdote, Rosie :)
Massage oil?
Any chocolate in this?
(Superman) Veg part human edible? YES.*audience applause*
(Tuj) Liquid at room temperature? NO, but *some uncertain and quickly stifled audience reaction*
(Raak) NOT massage oil.
(Boolbar) Alas NO choccy.
(Tuj) I dug out the boomerang - it still exists. Tomorrow I'll see if I can still chuck it - theres a playing field at the back.
Is this anything to do with cookery?
[Rosie] Good luck with the boomerang. I got one as a lad and after reading the instructions and having a long debate about whether '5-15 degrees inclination' was from the vertical or the horizontal, I chucked it into a tree thirty yards away in a dead straight line.
(Bismarck) Cookery? Well, strictly YES, but I wouldn't quite dignifiy it with that term.

(boo meringues) I'm not sure the throwing angle is all that important but you must hold the asymmetric end and impart as much spin as possible. Mine is quite big (14" arms, 2" wide, marine ply) and I wouldn't like to be hit by it.

Is the mineral part edible?
(Bismarck) Mineral part edible? NO, though it probably wouldn't do you much harm.
Some sort of preserve?
[boomer angles] Many happy returns!
(Boolbar) NO, not a preserve.
Hidden textNot even a preserved steam engine
Is this something normally stored in a freezer
?
Clumsy fingers hitting first the enter key by mistake and then managing to bypass the "whoops" button.
Is the mineral part a wrapping?
I'm thinking British Rail sandwich...
(Boolbar) Store in a freezer? NO.
(simons Mith) Mineral part wrapping? Essesntially, YES, though this is not normally referred to as wrapping. But it's not a British Rail sandwich. *audience now showing considerable signs of animation*
q
oops
Is the mineral water?
(Raak) Is the mineral water what? Oh, I see. The mineral is NOT water.
A plastic-wrapped lettuce?
And the subsidiary question - is the mineral plastic?
Is the mineral part sand or soil?
(Superman) Plastic wrapped lettuce? NO. Subsidiaritily, NOT plastic.
(Boolbar) Mineral part NOT sand or soil.
Does the mineral part contain the vegetable part?
Could you swallow one whole?
Yes, I'm more baiting the audience than being useful, but at least I'm not asking about what letter it starts with.
(Raak) In one sense of the word "contain", YES.
(Tuj) You probably could but it would defeat the purpose of the AOTC and people would start worrying about you.
Is the AOTC usually spherical in shape?
(Boolbar) The AOTC is NEVER spherical.
Is the mneral part gold leaf?
(Raak) Mineral part gold leaf? NO, nothing so fancy.
Does it contain chocolate?
Is it something decorative?
(Raak) Contain chocolate? NO. *audience somewhat amused*
(Boolbar) Decorative? NO, very functional.
Is the mineral part made of crystals?
Is the mineral part an eggshell?
Is the mineral part clay?
(Boolbar) Mineral part made of crystals? NO.
(Raak) Mineral part an eggshell? NO.
(Superman) Clay? NOT made of clay.
Recap v1
I'm running out of ideas for minerals here. It's a sort of container but it's not made of any metal, plant material like paper of course, clay, crystal, soil, sand, stone, plastic, eggshell, or glass. What's left? The veggie bit is edible, but not chocolate or lettuce. The whole thing is functional and not spherical and has a link to cookery. It's not too big as you could swallow it whole.
Some sort of medication?
Is hot or boiling water used with the AOTC to make something else?
(Raak) NOT The Tablets.
(Boolbar) Hot water? YES. *audience goes wild*
Tea?
(Raak) Tea? YES, but not quite the AOTC. *audience goes even wilder*
Green Tea?
Is the mineral aluminium foil?
(Softers) NOT green tea.
(Raak) Mineral NOT aluminium (foil or any other form).
A tea caddy?
(Superman) A tea caddy? NO.
Is the mineral mixed with the tea?
(Raak) Mineral mixed with the tea? NO.
If you dropped one of these on a hard floor would it break?
(Raak) It would NOT break. *a few cruel audience sniggers*
Is the mineral rubber (synthetic, presumably)?
Is the mineral some sort of perforated container?
(Raak) NO, not rubber, synthetic or otherwise.
(Boolbar) Perforated container? YES. *audience goes completely potty*
A nylon teabag?
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