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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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[Chalks] Ennui? - NO maybe the participants are becoming that
[Rosie] Scary? - NO
Is this a relatively modern idea?
[Rosie] Newish? - YES end of 19 Century apparently
Anything to do with health matters?
Modern? Newish? End of 19th Century - that's 18 hundred and something! Did you just say YES so that it doesn't look as though everyone except Rosie has had a NO for the last fortnight? :-)
Anything to do with Trade Unionism?
(Chalky) 1899 is only yesterday. My Dad was alive.
[Chalks] Healthy? - NO not directly anyway- recent well not BC is it?
[Rosie] All out? - NO * some stirring in the audience *
Modern Olympic Games?
Health and Safety?
Is this a form of revolution?
[Chalks] 5 rings - NO
[Rosie] H&S Gestapo? - NO
[Duj] Uprising? - NO you are all drifting away from ABSTRACT.

CLUE: there is more than one of these

Is it a Lifestyle Choice?
Softers - please can you do a summary to say what it's NOT. Ta :-)
[Chalks] My way? - NO anyone can do it, most do.

SUMMARY - Concentrate on the ABSTRACT. It is not: a fairy story, a life choice, a saying, a game, a passtime, scientific, religious or other social theory, nothing to do with language, politics philosophy or art. ANIMAL connection is strong the others less so. Good luck, it ain't that hard!

Is it culture-specific?
[CdM] Foible? - YES - well to qualify, the AOTC is AFIK but the principle isn't
Associated primarily with the UK?
[CdM] Blighty? - YES, primarily, the AOTC is anyway.
Is it an activity, i.e. something that one does?
[Phil] Out and about? - YES and NO, perhaps is the best answer.
Is the AOTC a present participle?
as "yes and no" isn't a very useful answer :)
[Phil] Grammatical? NO The AOTC has 3 words none of which are the definite or indefinite article. Hint: When the question was set it was in the future, now it is in the past.
Does the AOTC define/describe a period of time?
The August Bank Holiday Weekend?
[Phil] Time slot? - YES
[GL] August Bank Holiday - YES!

Hurrah! * hands over Brighton rock shaped sticky baton to GL at last *

Well, that took a pointlessly long time. So, a simple ANIMAL this time.
Is it human?
[Software] were the mineral and vegetable connections the bank?
[Phil] - Human? YES have a baton. (I said it was easy)
Hahaha! Why thank you, GL!
OK, so the next one is

ANIMAL & VEGETABLE

Is the vegetable wood?
Food or drink?
[GL] Wood? NO
[Raak] Food/Drink? YES *Some early applause*
A falling out between you and Rosie?
[Dujon] Me and the old geezer coming to blows? NO!
Hidden textI'd love to know who's the vegetable...actually, maybe I wouldn't :-)
Meat and two veg?
Is it a sandwich?
[Raak] Meat+2Veg? NO
[Chalky] Sarnie? NO
Pork scratchings?
Does it need to be cooked?
[Software] Scratchings? NO
[Rosie] Need to be cooked? NO (although a perverse minuscule part of me wants to say YES)
Is the vegetable to be found in a greengrocer's?
I decline to answer your previous question (hidden) on the ground that ... ;)
[Dujon] Greengrocer's vegetable? NO
Is it an animal product?
Is the animal fish?
[Chalky] Animal product? YES *a little applause*
[GL] Fish? NO
A traditional British sausage (50% breadcrumbs)?
Is dairy produce involved?
[Raak] A banger? NO
[GL] Dairy involved? YES *some more applause*
A pizza?
Does the AOTC include a reference to a U.K. country?
Is cheese the animal element?
[Rosie] Pizza? NO
[Dujon] UK reference? NO
[Chalky] and cheesey? NO
Is it sweet rather than savoury?
[CdM] Sweet? The AOTC is not sweet.
Is yoghurt involved?
[GL] Yoghurt? NO
Is the vegetable element made from grain?
[cfm] Grain? NO
Milk?
[Software] Milk? YES, milk is involved *applause*
Are cookies also involved?
[Raak] Cookie? NO
Is it in anyway responsible for bringing boys to the yard?
[GL/Kelis] Your milkshake? NO
Ambrosia Creamed Rice?
[Chalky] Devon knows how they make it so creamy? NO
Is it casein?
[Software] Casein? NO
A comment
Rosie's question "Does it need to be cooked?" continues to weigh on my mind. No Anglophone would say that they cook the Answer on the Card, but cooking of some sort or other is involved in the process of turning naturally occurring ingredients into the AOTC.
Is it a salad of some sort?
Weirdly enough .. the cooking thing .. was the one reply which has completely thrown my train of thought ...
A biscuit of some kind?
[Chalky] Salady? NO
[Rosie] Biscuity? NO
Butter?
Custard?
[Chalky] Butter? NO
[GL] Custard? NO
OH NO !!!!!
I've just reviewed my answers and noticed that when Chalky asked "Is it an animal product", I said "YES". I should specify that only the animal part is an animal product, the vegetable part isn't. Hope that helps ! :-)
PANIC OVER!!!
[Phil] Fret ye not - that's what I meant.
In summary: The AOTC is 'Animal Product' plus a 'Vegetable' (but not a vegetable to be found in a greengrocer) somehow linked together. Edible/Potable. Doesn't need to be cooked. Milk is involved.
I'll now ask a question, if I may ...
Is there an alcoholic content to this?
[Chalky] Alcoholic? NO
A bit more summary
One would not "cook" the AOTC but some form of "cooking" is involved at some point in creating the AOTC from naturally occurring ingredients.
Is yeast involved?
[Phil] Thanks - I was thinking fermentation - hence the alcohol question.
[Chalky] Yeast? NO
Sour cream and chive flavoured crisps?
A hint...
A follow-up to the 2nd question asked (Rosie's first) would be useful.
Drink?
[Chalky] Drink? YES *relieved applause*
A skinny latte or somesuchlike?
[Chalky] A latte? CORRECT. Congratulations! Now does my dithering over "cooked" make sense? Anyway, have this tax-avoiding baton...
Thanks Phil - we managed to sort that one out between ourselves :)
*raises a tasse of full fatte latte*

Staying with the Keep It Simple agenda - here's a lively little A N I M A L
Human?
[Rosie] Human? YES
Is/was this person short in stature?
[Dujon] Is/was this person short in stature? YES
Napoleon?
[Software] Napoleon? NO
Is this person alive?
[Software] Napoleon wasn't short, apparently, he was just portrayed as short for propaganda purposes. A bit of googling, and my suspicions are confirmed. He was about 5'7" (1.70m), over 2 inches taller than average for France at the time, and just about exactly average for the UK. Reference here
[Phil] Is this person alive? YES
re. Boney - grossly misrepresented ... poor sod.
An entertainer?
Does this person have a name consisting of two identical syllables?
[Rosie] An entertainer? NO
[Dujon] A name consisting of two identical syllables? NO
Nicolas Sarkozy?
keeping with the French theme ...
There's a French theme..???
[Software] Nicolas Sarkozy? NON
Sandy Toksvig?
(Appolgies for the spelling I don't have time to check it.)
[GL] Sandy Toksvig? NO
John Bercow?
[Rosie] John Bercow? NO

This is supposed to be a nice easy quick one - random guesses of allegedly vertically-challenged individuals will lead nowhere .. and I'm already bored
Male?
British?
Under 35?
3 yesses!
[Rosie] Male? YES
[Software] British? YES
[Gusset Login] Under 35? YES
Is he a 'child prodigy'?
[Dujon] Child prodigy? Not exactly a prodigy ..*huge cheer from audience*
George, prince of cambridge?
YES - the very chap! HRH George, Prince of Cambridge.
*Hands silver-spoon shaped baton to Gusset Login*
Thank you. I guess he is a little short for a stormtrooper.

OK. This one is a MINERAL with possible abstract and animal connections.
Is this a unique object?
Metallic?
Manufactured?
[Phil] Unique? YES
[Software] Metal? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? Um... it is man-made, if that's what you mean, but not mass produced, obviously.
A monument or statue?
[Software] Monument or Statue? YES. *Applause*
In England?
[Rosie] England? NO.
A well known male sans fig leaf?
[Dujon] A well known male without a fig leaf? As written, the answer has to be 'partly'. As intended, the answer would be very much NO. Take your pick.
Rodin's The Thinker?
[Software] The thinker? NO.

To clarify my answer to Dujon, the AOTC involves the image of a man who is not wearing a fig leaf but does not involve naked men in any way that I know of.
Is it a statue of just one person?
A political figure?
In Europe?
[Phil] A statue of just one person? The statue part of it is of one person.
[Rosie] A political figure? YES.
[Software] In Europe? NO.
In America?
[Gravy] 'Mer'ca? Yes
The Lincoln Monument?
Does the word Washington appear on the card?
[Dujon] Does Washington feature? NO
[Phil] Lincoln Monument/Memorial? YES. Have a baton purchased from the John Wilkes booth.
I have to give credit to the film "Night at the Museum 2" for raising my awareness of the Lincoln Monument, and more recently the 50th anniversary of the "I have a dream" speech, without which I would never have guessed that.
Anyway, onwards and upwards....our next AVMA is

Abstract with Animal

Is it a sandwich?
[Chalky] A sandwich? Alas, NO
Phrase or saying?
[Software] Phrase or saying? NO
One of the Seven Deadly Sins?
... or all of them?
[Chalky] A sin or seven? NO
A fictional person?
Grand Theft Auto V?
[GL] A fictional person? On this occasion I'll be generous and allow you the two questions in one - YES and NO
[Chalky] GTA V? NO
A fictional animal?
[Chalky] Fictional animal? YES *some applause*
A mermaid?
skippy?
A named individual fictional animal?
[Software] Mermaid? NO
[GL] Skippy? NO
[Raak] Named individual fictional animal? YES *a little more applause*
Created by A.A.Milne?
Has this named fictional animal appeared in more than one of the following media: book, film, TV, radio, grand opera?
[Dujon] A.A.Milne? NO
[CdM] In more than one of: book. film, TV, radio, grand opera? YES
A Disney character?
[Lovely Gravy] Disney? NO
Human?
Nobody has checked this yet.
Dog?
[Software] Actually, I did.
Was the creator male?
[Software] Human? NO (yes to fictional animal, no to fictional person, hence not a person. You are correct that nobody asked that question directly though)
[GL] Dog? YES *more applause*
[Dujon] Male creator? YES
Any connection with the Simpsons?
[Lovely G] Connection with the Simpsons? YES, but not an important connection, IMHO.
Greyfriar's Bobby?
Did this character first appear in print?
Did they first appear on TV?
[Software] Greyfriar's Bobby? NO
[Dujon] First appearance in print? YES
[GL] First appearance on TV? NO (see above)
Lassie?
[Ye Olde Softeware] Lassie? NO
Was s/he introduced in a childrens' story?
[Dujon] In a children's story? NO
Astonised of Berkshire
Ooops, not sure what happened there, but I thought I'd add a summary, just to help out, as I thought this would be simple. Not that there's much to summarize.
This is a fictional dog; created by a man; has appeared in multiple media (from the list: book, film, tv, radio, Grand Opera), but first appeared in print; has a slight link to The Simpsons (which is unlikely to be useful).
The AOTC was not created by A.A.Milne; is not a Disney character; is neither Greyfriars Bobby nor Lassie; was not introduced in a children's story.
The hound of the baskervilles?
[GL] HotB? NO
Toto
[Chalky] Toto? NONO
Created by Homer?
[Dujon] A Homeric character? NO
A clue
An assumption appears to have been made.
Is it a cartoon dog?
.. such as Scooby Doo?
[Chalky] A cartoon dog? YES *Much applause*
[Ibid.] Scooby Doo? NO *oohs, aahs and groans of disappointment*
Snoopy?
and the Red Baron
[Software] Snoopy? YES!
My childhood hero. I still drink out of a Snoopy mug at work, which even has a Snoopy stand to sit on. Such is my fondness for the special beagle, that when I tried this AVMA on family members, and as soon as I said "fictional dog", they guessed it. The assumption, of course, was that "print" referred to books. Also, The Simpsons makes several nods in the direction of Peanuts and Snoopy - e.g. "Hungry, Hungry Homer" which was on C4 last week finds Homer asleep on top of the kennel, and Bart says "Good grief!" more here.
Here, Software, take this flying helmet, goggles and scarf set - may it serve you well!
Well, well. I'm getting too good at this.
Can I think of something that won't cause as much trouble as last time?

Let's try this, then:

MINERAL with ANIMAL and Vegetable connections.

Sorry Software - too complicated - only kidding.
But whilst we're about it, PLEASE answer the questions in a straightforward manner ... takes bloody ages to work out what you're trying to reply to usually! ;-)
:o(
Sorry, sorry, sorry ...
A building?
Margarine?
A planet?
Man-made?
[Raak] A building? - NO (not as such)
[Phil] Margarine? - NO can tell talk from mutter
[GL] A planet - NO * some discussion and shuffling among the andience *
[Rosie] Man made? - YES
A satellite?
An international project?
[Phil] Satellite? - YES
[Duj] International? - YES
The ISS?
[Raak} ISS? - YES!

Please accept this SpaceX shaped baton

The next is, nowdays, mostly MINERAL.
man made?
Yes, man made
Is it something that was previously made from wood?
Ex-wood? No.
Concrete?
[Software] *amusement in the audience* Not concrete.
Made of plastic?
< Toaster < ?
[Rosie] Not really made of plastic, as ordinary people use the word, but an industrial chemist might disagree.
[Software} Bigger than a toaster.
Does it have moving parts?
[LG] *more amusement* It certainly does.
Is it elastic?
Something to support or suspend a human?
[Phil] Not elastic.
[Dujon] Yes! It supports or suspends a human. That might give slightly the wrong idea, but it definitely does that.
Might this be found in a fairground?
[LG] Not in a fairground.
Float on water?
[Software] About as well as a dog walks on its hind legs.
Is it primarily a form of transportation?
Some form of seating?
[LG] *applause* It is a form of transportation.
[Rosie] Not a form of seating.
Is it a form of footwear?
[Phil] Not footwear.
Does it have two wheels?
Swing bridge?
[LG] Does not have two wheels.
[Software] Not a swing bridge.
Is it "traditional" such as a rickshaw?
[Rosie] Not traditional.
Does it have wheels?
[Phil] No wheels at all.
Is the 'transportation' generally vertical?
[Dujon] Exclusively vertical, as in a lift? No.
Bobsleigh?
[GL] Not a bobsleigh.
Does on stand on it?
Might this be found at an airport?
[Phil] Interpreting the preposition strictly, one does not stand on this.
[LG] Not primarily found at airports.
Hang glider?
Is it a form of airborne transport?
[GL] Not a hang glider.
[Phil] *applause* Yes! A form of airborne transport.
Parachute?
Is heated air an important part of its propulsion?
[GL] Not a parachute.
[Dujon] *cheering* Yes! Heated air! Therefore it is...?
a political campain?
A hot-air balloon?
(GL) I can see your point, but it's Mineral. :-)
[GL] Not a political campaign.
[Rosie] A hot air balloon! Hold this mooring cable for a moment, will you? Oops...don't let go!
Oh shoot!
I was thinking hot-air balloon when I asked my last question, but didn't want to make the leap of faith. Congrats, Rosie.
Moving parts? Where exactly?
Also, did not get the 'dog on hind legs' reference to its ability to float on water. Surely an inflated balloon would float very well.
[LG] The whole thing moves! The gondola wouldn't float very well, and once the water puts the fire out, neither will the balloon.
Yay! Let's hear it for Charles' Law.

OK, this next one is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS

Are the animal connections of a human nature?
(Phil) Human? Just about, i.e. YES
Phrase or saying?
(Softers) Not a phrase or saying.
Is the abstract a human behaviour?
(Duj) Not a human beviour.
Is there a connection to football?
Or is there a connection to the Tory Party?
Is it an institution or organisation type thing?
(CdM) It would take a conspiracy theorist of a high order to connect this with either of your suggestions.
(Phil) Strictly no, but possibly in a figurative sense.
Fictional?
Is there a misical connection?
Sorry, musical
(LG) Essentially no musical connection.
Fictional human(ish)?
(Softers) No. Real humans.
Is it a system of government?
(GL) Not a form of government. *slight amusement in the audience*
If not strictly an organisation, is it an informal collective of individuals?
(LG) Rather the opposite of informal.
OK then, a formal collective of individuals?
(Phil) Not a collective.
A different tack is needed.
Related to media?
(cfm) Media-related? YES.
A business cabal of some kind?
(Dujon) Not a business cabal.
Related to the news?
(GL) Not connected with the news.
Related to entertainment?
A spin doctor?
(cfm) Related to entertainment? YES.
(Softers) Spin doctors? The very last thing need by the AOTC. So, er, NO.
Are sattelites involved?
(Dujon) No satellites, natural or otherwise.
Related to prestidigitation?
Specifically related to television?
(Softers) No sleight of hand involved.
(cfm) Telly? YES. *applause*
An announcer?
(Softers) No, not an announcer, not even the mellifluous Charlotte Green. :-(
"Reality" television?
(cfm) Not "reality" television.
Is it the name of a TV programme?
(Lovely Gravy) The name of a TV programme? YES. *audience animation*
Surely not Paxman?
(Software) Paxman? He is certainly involved.
University Challenge?
(CdM) Morniverse - JOHN! Of course it is. Well done. I hand you the furry animal. And it's goodnightfrommegoodnight.
Yes, well, that wasn't quite a lurker's victory, since I did ask questions earlier on, but I clearly stood on the shoulders of slightly-taller-than-average people, there.

This isVEGETABLE with ABSTRACT and ANIMAL connections.
A leek?
Edible?
Leek? No.
Edible? No.
The True Cross?
Paxman?
True Cross? No. *tiny smattering of applause*
Paxman? No.
An artefact?
Is it a cauliflower with aspirations to become a moose?
Is it made of wood?
Artifact? No.
Upwardly-mobile cauliflower? No.
Wooden? Yes.
Is the abstract a religious matter?
Abstract = religious? Yes. *applause*
Is the religion Christianity?
A crucifix?
Christianity? No.
Crucifix? No.
Native American?
Native American? No.
In a round about way could the animal portion involve bats?
Bats? Er. As far as I know it would have to be very roundabout.
Used in the course of prayer?
The use-mention distinction
Used in prayer? No (though I am not sure if it is ever mentioned in the course of prayer; I suppose it might be).
Is the animal connection human?
Just to prevent misplaced assumptions
Is the religion Roman Catholic?
Roman Catholic? No. (We already knew it is not Christianity)
Is it made in the form of the animal connection?
Oops, missed Phil's question.
Animal connection = human? The main animal connection is human, yes. (There are also many other less direct animal connections, both human and nonhuman.)
Made in the form of the animal connection? No.
Would this be most likely to have been constructed in Russia?
Could this be lifted by a person of average proportions?
Sorry, missed the Christianity bit.
Constructed in Russia? No.
Liftable? No.
Does it relate to a specific religion?
Specific religion? Yes.
Is the religion Buddhism?
Let's home in a bit
Buddhism? Yes. *applause*
A temple?
The Bodhi Tree?
Is it carved?
Getting right to the point
The Bodhi tree? Yes! *takes chainsaw, fells tree, and fashions baton for Chalky*
Oooops
A genuine Lurker's Victory - thanks to all who set up my re-entry to this game.

A N I M A L
Dame Shirley Williams?
[Gusset Login] Dame Shirley Williams? Inspired - but NO.
Well, Dame Shirley bleed'n Porter, then?
Sorry for not taking this too seriously at the moment. Things will improve.
Is the animal human?
[Rosie] Well, Dame Shirley bleed'n Porter, then? Eff'n NO.
[Basics] Is the animal human? YES
Is the human alive?
[Phil] Is the human alive? YES
Is this a female?
A politician?
Is this person's native language English?
.. thought I'd replied already
And again ..
[LG] Female? Might be.
[Rosie] Politician? Might be.
[CdM] Native language English? Might be.
Is this one specific person?
Is it a group of people with a common goal (e.g. a choir or a football team)?
[Phil] One specific person? Most likely - so YES.
[Dujon] Group of people? Most unlikely - so NO.
Culture specific?
[CdM] Culture specific? Not sure what you mean - culture is a big word. I'd say NO.
A particular role or post?
[Software] Particular role/post? This person certainly has a role/part to play so a tentative Yes.
At the moment you are reading this, is the AOTC a single identifiable individual?
[CdM] Single identifiable individual? Well spotted - NO.
.. but I still think the additional word ABSTRACT would have been misleading. You may disagree .. :)
Does the person who represents the AOTC know that they are the AOTC?
Sorry - been out and about and away from t'interwebs ...
[Phil] Does the person who represents the AOTC know that they are the AOTC? Not a scooby doo - NO
Is the person a creation of one's imagination?
Is the AOTC a different person for each one of us?
[Rosie] Is the person a creation of ones imagination? NO
[CdM] Is the AOTC a different person for each one of us? NO
An actor?
Does this person perform a service?
[Software] An actor? Unlikely but can't say for sure.
[Rosie] Perform a service? Insomuch as they are the subject of this puzzle - I have to say yes.
Have you met someone who is an AOTC?
[CdM] Have I met someone who is an AOTC? This particular someone is the only one who *could* be the AOTC. Whether or not I've met them already is irrelevant.
Will the AOTC be selected at birth?
[GL] Will the AOTC be selected at birth? NO .. what an odd question!
Is the AOTC the person who is the AOTC?
If so, it's Not Fair.
[Rosie] Is the AOTC the person who is the AOTC? NO - but I like your thinking! *Audience senses a breakthrough*
CdM?*
*(being the winner of this round)
I think that counts as a win, Monsieur C de M.
The actual Words On The Card are The Person Who Guesses That They Are The Winner Of This Round.
I toyed with the notion of adding ABSTRACT to the description but really couldn't be bothered with the standard questioning that might've come my way ;-)

Besides - you ARE a real person, aren't you?

*baton fashions itself into CdM-shape and flies to Daddy*
Interestingly, though Rosie's answer was not the answer on the card, it was a correct answer.
ANIMAL
Indeed it was.
Human?
[Chalky] Congrats on your delightfully bewildering round - that was fun!
Dame Shirley Williams?
Human?
(CdM) I'm flattered, despite the logical impasse. Not to worry - all statements made by ethnic-Welsh Londoners are false anyway.
Human? Yes. *some audience murmuring, which abates when they read the footnotes on the card*
Shirley Williams? No.
Human? Yes. *no murmuring, because the audience members have read the footnotes on the card*
Human with footnotes?
An armless pianist?
Human with footnotes? Yes. Your point? (OK. I think the most useful answer is yes. But it is possible to claim that a simple Yes is misleading.)
Handicapped pianist? No.
Is this a named human?
Is this more than one human?
Is this less than one human?
Good questions
Named human? No.
More than one human? The AOTC is not more than one human. *smattering of applause, nonetheless*
Less than one human? Yes. *some applause, and some discussion among the more pedantic audience members*
A severed head?
Severed head? No.
A diminutive human?
Small person? No. ("Less than a human", Software??)
blood?
Only human?
pre-birth?
Part of a specific human?
Blood? No.
Only human? This is where the footnotes come in. I am thinking of the AOTC in a sense specific to humans, but it can apply to other animals as well. You will almost certainly find it more helpful just to think about humans, though.
Pre-birth? No.
Part of a human? Yes. Part of a specific human? No.
A limb?
Limb? No.
An organ?
I nearly asked "Nigel Farage?" given the "Less than a human" answer :-)
Alive?
An organ? No.
Alive? No. *a little audience muttering*
Anything to do with medical research (stem cells etc)?
A cadaver?
Fingernails?
A beard or whiskers?
Medical research? No.
Cadaver? No.
Fingernails? No.
Beard/whiskers? Not the AOTC, but *massive applause*
A mustache?
A moustache? Yes! I am currently growing one as part of Movember (one of the founders of which is an alumni of the school where I now teach). I haven't had a moustache (without beard) since I was about 18, I think—and, if I do say so myself, I think it looks absolutely hideous. So if you feel like throwing support towards my Movember team, you can click here. It is a worthwhile cause.
*plucks out hairs one by one* and weaves them into a baton for cfm*

*ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!
Sorrysorrysorry
Alumnus. As you were.
*clicks*
*is positively crushed to find no photo of moustachioed CdM*
*donates*
Okay, this next one is ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL ASSOCIATIONS
The idea of CdM with a moustache?
[Raak] *laughs* but NO :-)
A dog's life?
[cfm] Thank you. For a sufficiently large donation I will send you a photograph of someone with a moustache that, for all you know, could be me.
A fictional human?
[CdM] Er...not that crushed. :-)
Familiar phrase featuring pups? NO.
[GL] NO. The AOTC is abstract. I think that is the proper answer to your question...
Would many people consider the abstract to be a form of art?
Is the abstract associated with animal behaviour?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Dujon] Art for the masses? NO
[Rosie] Oh, behave!? YES
[Chalky] Famous expression? NO
Is this behaviour regarded as a good thing?
[Rosie] Well-behaved? YES and NO. There a number of animal behaviors associated with the AOTC. Some are good, some are not.
The mating season?
[Rosie] Fun and games? NO. *a few murmurs from the audience*
A form of 'showing off'?
[Dujon] Theatricality? YES. There is an element of theatricality associated with the behavior that is associated with the AOTC. (Reminding everyone that the behavior is not the AOTC.)
Acting the fool?
[Software] Fool me once? NO
Is fear involved?
A song?
[Rosie] Scary stuff? YES, in some instances. But many other emotions might also be associated.
[Chalky] A musical solution? NO. But come to think, there is a movie title closely related to the AOTC...FWIW. :-)
A board contest?
[Dujon] Board contest? Not sure what you mean. A board game like Monopoly? NO. A skate boarding contest? NO. Opposition to someone's nomination to a Board of Directors? NO. Or did you mean something else?
Is the AOTC a result or consequence of the associated behaviors we've been discussing?
[Chalky] A result of the behaviors? YES *audience applauds vigorously*
Is the AOTC a performance?
[Phil] Showtime? NO. Not in the traditional sense. But metaphorically speaking, one could relate it to a finale. *audience applauds encouragingly*
Is there a connection to sleep?
[GL]Perchance to dream? NO
Is this an abstract 'thing' awarded as a result of a result?
Sorry for the earlier rather broad question.
[Dujon] An award? I think the best answer is NO, not in the traditional sense of honoring or gifting someone. But but but...*audience encourages this line of thinking with hoots and hollers*
Is this an accolade?
Peer pressure?
[Phil] Highest praise? NO.
[Rosie] Everybody's doing it? NO, that is not the AOTC. However, since peer pressure is frequently one of the behaviors that results in the AOTC...*audience continues to applaud*
Posting to Youtube?
The herd instinct?
[GL] YouPost? NO
[Rosie] Bovine behavior? NO
Dieting?
[Chalky] Losing it? NO.
Let's have a look at where we are.
The AOTC is not a behavior in and of itself. It is the result of more than one behavior. Though no one asked specifically, the AOTC is the result of human behavior. One of behaviors associated with the AOTC has an element of performance about it though it is not a performance in the traditional fine art or entertainment sense. If the behavior were a performance, however, the AOTC could be likened to the finale of same. Peer pressure is often involved. Though not an award per se, one or more of the behaviors associated with giving an an award are also associated with the AOTC. I will throw in for free that the AOTC is a noun.
Are the people engaging in these behaviours part of a specific profession?
[CdM] On the job? YES. Professional behavior is involved.*approving applause*
A degree?
[Chalky] It's academic? NO. But *applause* because that's a noun and the final result of a series of behaviors.
a job promotion?
[Chalky] Climbing the ladder? NO.
An ASBO?
Anything to do with sport?
[GL] An acronym I had to look up? NO.
[Rosie] Sportsman-like? NO. But there are winners and losers associated. *applause*
Is it generally a negative acheivement?
By which I mean, for example, the 'wooden spoon' in a sporting tournament.
[Lovely Gravy] Unhappy face? MAYBE. (See "there are winners and losers associated" above.)
Does the noun relate to marriage?
Does the abstract noun relate to death?
[Dujon] Love or marriage? NO.
[Chalky] Mortality? NO.
Does this occur in a particular geographical location?
Twenty-nine questions over twenty days might indicate scant interest in this little puzzler - even my curiousity meter is twitching around 'indifferent'.
So it's not connected to love, marriage, birth, death, academia, job development, sport or the performing arts - is not a well-known phrase or saying or an an 'award', per se?
Does it involve a voting procedure?
Is it connected to the medical profession?
Would this have been possible 30 years ago?
[Chalky] Particular geographical location? NO, it happens in many locations.
[Chalky 2] Involves voting? YES, often.
[Chalky 3] Medical connection? YES and NO. It is not a critical connection but some of the most famous examples include a medical connection.
[Chalky 4] Possible 30 years ago? YES. And also 300 years ago.
*vigorous applause for the somewhat indifferent player*
Is this a leadership matter?
I've given up.
I apologize. I guess I am really bad at this game. Next time i get the baton, I will just pass it on.
The AOTC is "verdict" -- in the legal sense, the finale of a trial, which involves some degree of performance on the part of both attorneys and witnesses...and which also involves voting, at least in my experience as a juror.
[cfm] Sorry you feel the need to apologise - there was nothing wrong with your choice really.
Something I've said before on more than one occasion ... I think it helps to reply to a question without changing the questioner's original wordage. Spinning a question forces a 'double read' which can get tiresome. It can also mislead, eg. your reply to CdM's key question regarding a specific profession didn't inspire a rigorous follow-up and perhaps should have?
[Chalky] Thank you for the advice.
*raises, then lets the baton fall once on the desk and leaves it for whomever*
[cfm] I've only been in the chair once. It can be quite difficult to respond to questions in a manner relative. Some people are quite adept at it. I wasn't. Don't dwell on it, regardless of the somewhat snide comments you might receive.
If no one else is taking it.
[cfm] Don't worry about it. I've made the same mistakes before, we all have.

To hurry things along I will pick up this discarded baton and offer an ABSTRACT with MINERAL & ANIMAL connections.
A work of art?
[cfm] Work of art? I would say Yes, but not everyone would agree.
A singular work (versus a category of same?)
20/21 century?
[cfm] A thing, not a type of thing? Yes.
[Software] After 1900? Yes.
A piece of visual art?
[cfm] Visual Art? I said before, not everyone would agree it was even art. That said, if it is art, it probably qualifies as visual art. (I am guided solely by Wikipedia in this matter, however).
Could it be regarded as a style?
A monument?
Made of metal?
[Rosie] A style? No.
[Dujon] Monumental? No. *Audience Mirth*
[cfm] Metalic? No.
Was the AOTC intended as a work of art?
[cfm] Intended as art? No, at least I doubt its creator(s) would have used that word at the time.
Oh dear. Should have asked, is the mineral association with something metallic?
[cfm] Metallic association? No.
Is it man-made?
Is it the name of a place?
[Phil] man-made? Yes.
[Chalky] name of a place? *Audience Applaudes* Part of the AOTC is the name of a place.
Is the mineral connection water?
Can I go to a specific place to see it?
[Chalky] Wet Stuff? No.
[Phil] Can you see it in a specific place? Yes, I have seen it in several specific places.
Could it fit inside a microwave oven?
If it can be 'seen' is it Abstract?
[cfm] Could it fit inside a microwave oven? Yes, it's an abstract.
[Chalky] Is it really an Abstract? Yes.

To clarify the point, the contents/title of a book, film or TV programme would all be examples of abstracts that can be seen. (I'm not saying it's one of those but they still exist).
Well then, is it a film or TV program? (I don't know why I keep losing sight of the fact that this is an abstract!) :-)
[cfm] Film or TV? No.
Is it a logo?
An illusion of some kind?
[Chalky] logo? No.
[Rosie] A kind of magic? No.
Is there a musical connection?
Camelot?
[Chalky] Musical connection? Yes, music is involved to soem extent.
[Software] It's only a model? No.
Is it a play?
I said: IS IT A PLAY!?
Typical example of my stupidity - Software asks "Camelot?"
The reply comes back " It's only a model - No "
Result: I spend more time worrying about my failure to make a connection between these two posts than I do about the actual resolution of this puzzle. Thus confirming why I shouldn't be playing this game.
[Chalky] A Play? No.
Sorry, I've been preoccupied, my redundancy notice came through on Friday.
[GL] So sorry to hear that. I hope that another, better opportunity is just around the corner for you. (((((hug)))))
[cfm] Thanks, so do I. But now I've got my CV up to date etc. I'd welcome the distraction of getting the game back up and running.

So, in summary The AOTC is the name of a work for the second half of the twentieth century that contains both visual elements and music. It is not a play, film, or TV programme but more than one copy exists. The title itself contains the name of a place, which is the mineral connection. The animal connection remains unexplored.
Is the animal connection human?
[GL] Eek. Just spotted your redundancy posting. Been there, done that. Hope something turns up pronto.
[Chalky] I don't understand the Camelot/only a model connection either.
[Phil] Human connection? Yes, but not exclusively.
[Chalky/Phil] I'm sorry for the Camalot/Model thing, it was a reference to Monty Python's Holy Grail. Clearly I have seen it too recently. It was not a clue.
It's been two weeks
Is there anyone else still playing this?
A novel?
[Software] A novel? No
OK. Either I, Christmas, or a combination of the two seem to have killed this round/game. Whatever the reason, it would seem wise for me to step down and offer the baton to someone else.
The AOTC was The Secret of Monkey Island.

I will place this baton here for anyone to take.
I know I haven't played for ages, but I have an idea for a very straightforward and unsubtle one... MINERAL.
man made?
[GL] Manmade? YES
Made of metal?
[GL] I thought many times about your AVMA, but never thought of a video game. Not that I've heard of Monkey Island, though :)
Metallic? NO.
Wood?
Is it edible/potable?
Bigger than a bread box?
[Phil] I don't think anyone else thought of video games either. Also, you should play Monkey Island.
Found in the home?
[Rosie] Wood? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO
[GL] Smaller than a breadbox
[Software] Found in the home? YES is the best answer, albeit disputable.
Plastic?
Stone?
[Dujon] Plastic? NO
[GL] Stone? NO, I think.
Chalk?
[Chalky] u-y=aotc? NO.
Oil?
Liquid at room temperature?
A ceramic material?
[Rosie] Oil? NO
[GL] Liquid? NO
[Chalky] Ceramic? YES
Some form of crockery?
[Rosie] Plates etc.? NO
Something deliberately artistic?
A Garden Gnome?
[Phil] Very seldom considered art
[GL] GG? NO
A gentlemen's urinal?
Associated with a particular culture?
Is it used as an insulator?
[Rosie] Fountain? NO (but you are on the right track - that is if you really know your contemporary art very well!)
[CdM] Culturally specific? NO
[Dujon] Insulator? YES, I think you could say that.
Any connection with Le Mannequin Pis?
Long shot. Yes, it's bronze and older even than me, but my knowledge of contemporary art is not so much like the back of my hand as the sole of my foot.
[Rosie] P-boy? NO (getting colder)
Does water run through it?
[Rosie] Google "Duchamp's Fountain", of which I've been aware for about a week, by pure chance.
[Phil] Water through it? *audience guffaws* Hopefully not!
(Advice to most: don't bother with the contemporary art angle unless you've been paying very close attention since the end of Duchamp's era)
Is it functional, i.e. was it created to serve a particular purpose?
A swimming pool?
[Fil] Phunctional? YES
[Rosie] Pool? NO.
Is it designed to prevent water flow in some way?
[Phil] Prevents water flow? YES
Is it made of Bakelite?
A ceramic tap valve?
A ceramic bath plug?
A bottle stopper (with or without rubber washer)?
(Phil) Yeah, ceramic Bakelite - good stuff.
[Phil] Not Bakelite
[Software] Tap valve? NO
[GL] Plug it? NO
[Rosie] Bottlestopper? NO
Is it bigger than a toaster?
[Rosie] You know, something felt wrong as I typed it. What was I thinking!?
A brick?
A roof tile?
*lobs baton through Raak's window, wrapped in a note reading: "Essential component of Carl Andre's Equivalent VIII? YES!"
I think that’s my first lurker’s victory. Next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
The atmosphere?
The oncoming storm?
[Rosie] No atmosphere, as Neil Armstrong said.
[GL] Outlook for Viking, Fisher, German Bight? No.
Phrase or saying involved?
Mineral in its natural state?
[Software] Not a phrase or saying.
[Rosie] Unnatural.
A man-made object with a significance beyond its immediate use?
[Rosie] Can you unpack that? The words on the card refer to a man-made object. They also refer to something abstract.
The Sword of Damocles?
Having carefully unpacked it from its vagina.
[Rosie] Not the Sword of Damocles, wherever it's been.
Is the object made mainly of paper?
[Rosie] Not paper.
Is this larger than a 'phone box?
[Dujon] Smaller than a phone box.
Is it smaller than an iron atom?
[GL] Bigger than an iron atom.
Is it metallic?
but is it art?
[Rosie] Not metallic.
[Phil] Not art.
Plastic?
Stone?
[Rosie] Not plastic.
[Software] *mutters of "At last!" from the audience* Um, stone, sort of.
a diamond in the rough?
[GL] Not a diamond.
Is this a grave matter?
Depiction of a human?
[Dujon] Not grave.
[Rosie] Not a graven image.
Concrete?
Used in building?
[Phil] Not concrete.
[Rosie] *some applause*   Is used in building!
A pseudo-stone like Corian, for example?
[Software] Not a pseudo-stone. (I suspect a retired industrial chemist might inform us that the thing on the card isn't stone at all.)
A brick?
Glass?
I suspect GL has it.
[GL] *applause* GL very nearly has it, but it would be bad form for me to have just reused the previously set object. No, this is not a brick.
[Rosie] Not glass.
A breeze block?
[GL] Not a breeze block.
Mortar?
[Phil] Not mortar.
Another Brick In The Wall?
A chip off the old block?
[Chalky] Not Pink Floyd.
[Software] *murmurs in the audience* Not a chip.
A buttress?
female butter
[Rosie] Not a buttress.
Writer's block?
[Software] Not writer's block. *the audience drift off to sleep as the team wander into the fog*
The foundations?
[Rosie] Not foundations. Smaller than a phone box, folks.
Pebble-dashing?
With the abstract being the chundering euphemism.
[Phil] Projectile vomiting? No.
Some attention to the mineral aspect, and to the audience reactions, might be more fruitful.
Stone the crows?
[Software] Not corvicide.
Ceramic?
[Rosie] Yes, ceramic. *the audience open their eyes a crack, for hope springs eternal*
Down the toilet?
on the tiles?
[Software] Not a toilet.
[GL] Not a tile.
The Keystone?
[Chalky] Not a keystone.
Does the AOTC include the word 'stone' - compounded or otherwise?
[Dujon] No occurrence of "stone". A hint: it does have an occurrence of a significant word that has been guessed already.
Does the AOTC include the word 'brick'?
[GL] *applause* It does contain the work “brick”!
Drop a brick?
[Software] Not a dropped brick.
A brick ****house?
I love my brick!
A Few Bricks Short Of A Load?
[Projoy] Not a brick house.
[GL] Not a sex toy.
[Chalky] Not a few bricks short.
Hint: neither of the words on the card is "brick".
Decorative Brickwork?
Clutching at straws as I've ground to a mental block
[Phil] Not decorative brickwork.
Bricklayer's Arms?
[Projoy] Huge hands with no fingerprints? No.
Bricking It?
[Chalky] Not bricking it.
Hint: the words on the card are an indefinite article followed by a noun.
A brickbat?
[Projoy] At last! A brickbat! Have this bouquet tied to a hurled half-brick.
OK, this one is ABSTRACT (with mineral and vegetable connections)
A phrase or saying?
Bouquets and brickbats?
Anything to do with bricks?
[Raak] We've taught each other a new word each in the last 5 days :-)
[GL] Phrase/saying? NO
[Raak] Florid critiques? NO
[Phil] Brick-related? YES.
Does the AOTC contain 'brick'?
[Phil] =*"brick"*? NO
Does the Abstract convey a sense of strength?
[Rosie] Abstrong? NO
What about permanence, then?
Any building related terms in the AOTC?
[Rosie] Permanence? NO
[Software] Building-related? YES
Is there a music connection?
[Chalky] Music? NO.
Vegetable wood?
[Rosie] Wood could be involved but I had something else in mind as the veg connection.
Is there a "wall" connection?
[Phil] Walls? A connection, but not a crucial one.
Is it a place?
[Chalky] A place? NO
Is the mineral/vegetable connection paint?
Is it a building?
Is it related to roofs?
[Dujon] Paint? NO
[Chalky] Building? NO *applause*
[GL] Roofesque? YES, related.
Is it a collection of constructions?
[Chalky] Collection? NO
A Monument?
Remains of a building?
A Map?
[Chalky] Monumental? NO
[Phil] Ruin? NO
[Chalky] Cartograph? NO
A house of cards?
[Sw] House of cards? *some cynical laughter from audience* NO.
Is it a well-known phrase or idiom?
Just remembered it's Abstract!
Is a human construct?
[Phil] Gusset asked that question ^^^ up there. Apparently it's not.
[Chalky] So (s)he did. Oops!
[Chalky] Human Construct? YES.
The concept of being indoors?
[GL] Withinness? NO
To do with religion?
[Rosie] Secular.
Is the AOTC generally regarded as a good thing?
[Chalky] A Good ThingTM? Probably more YES than NO, but it would depend on whom you asked and when you asked them.
Connected with the weather?
[Chalky] Weathery? NO.
Is it related to architecture?
[Phil] Architecture? YES, basically.
Is it a recognisable 'style' of architecture
Is it a blueprint?
[Chalky] Style? NO
[GL] Blueprint? NO
An Englishman's home?
[Software] Well known phrase or saying? NO :)
Is it linked to a specific individual building?
[CdM] An exclusive address? NO.
Is the mineral stone?
[Phil] Mineral stone? INTER ALIA.
Does this relate to a piece of literature?
[Chalky] Literary? Most likely mentioned in literature but not specifically famous for that.
Is it the name of a room?
[Chalky] Not the name of a room.

CLUE: A lot of people reading will have direct personal experience of this, and for those that do they will have spent a lot of time thinking about it.
Is it an activity?
A game?
[Phil] Activity? SORT OF, not exactly
[Chalky] A game? *audience laughter* NO.
Conveyancing?
A profession or occupation?
[Phil] Conveyancing? NO *some applause*
[Chalky] Not a profession.
Buying a house?
[Raak] Housebuying? NO *audience look pleased*
Selling a house?
Moving House?
still in the right area
[Raak] Selling? NO
[Chalky] Moving? NO.
Gazumping?
House-hunting?
is renting a house involved?
[Chalky] Gazumping? What a wonderful word. NO
[Chalky] Hunting? NO
[Raak] Renting involved? NO *applause* NO, not in the sense you probably mean.
Is 'demolition' part of this?
[Dujon] Demolish? NO! Well, hopefully not.
Speculative development?
still in the right area
[Raak] Build it and they will come? NO.
Does a word in the AOTC end with "-ing"
Does it involve building a building?
[Phil] Gerund? NO
[Raak] Involves building? NO. (Involves a building? YES).
A mortgage?
A survey?
A valuation?
Home Insurance?
the default option
[Rosie, Chalky] Not those, since...
[Raak] YES! A MORTGAGE. The mineral connection is bricks and mortar and the vegetable connections are paperwork and cash. * hands over the baton in exchange for Raak's promise to pay him for it once a month for the next thirty years *
Don't worry, the government will bail you out.

The next is MINERAL, with ABSTRACT connections.

Does it involve bricks?
[GL] No bricks.
A man-made structure?
[Rosie] Man-made.
Metallic?
[Software] Nonmetallic.
Made of stone?
[Rosie] Made of stone.
Stonehenge?
A building?
[irach] Not Stonehenge
[Projoy] Not a building.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Rosetta Stone?
In Britain?
Larger than a telephone box?
(Damn. I actually thought of mortgage when Projoy gave us his clue, but then rejected it for some really compelling reason that I can't remember.) :-)
[Rosie, CdM] Smaller than a telephone box in Britain, because...
[GL] The Rosetta Stone!
Hmmmm...

Let's go with an ABSTRACT with Animal connections.
Human animal?
[Software] human? - No.
Is the animal a type of animal (as opposed to an animal product, such as leather)?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Phil] animal? - Not an animal product.
[Chalky] phrase or saying? - No.
Some sort of organisation?
A book/story?
the Animal connection - a living organism?
[Rosie] organisation? - No.
[Dujon] book/story? - Yes.
[Chalky] a living creature? - Yes.
A children's story?
Moby Dick?
Long shot.
[Phil] kids' tale? - Yes.
[Rosie] The great white whale? - No.
Does this animal have a tendency to sound like a clock?
[Dujon] Sounds like a clock? - No.
Is the typical/target readership under 8 years old?
[CdM] target readership<8? Why do you assume a story needs to be read?
Tom and Jerry?
Winnie the Pooh?
[Rosie] T&J? - No.
[Raa] A bear of very little brains? - No.
Has the story been filmed?
[Raak] on film? - Yes.
Babe?
Bambi?
[Chalky] Good Pig? - No.
[Software] Bambi? - No. *Some applause*
Did this involve some number of brooms?
Cartoon?
[Dujon] brooms? - I don't remember any.
[Chalky] cartoon? - No.
Disney?
[Chalky] Sidney? - No.
Peter Rabbit?
has the film been on release for longer than 10 years?
[Software] Peter Rabbit? - No.
[Chalky] film age>10 years? - Yes.
Old Yeller?
[cfm] Old Yeller? - No.
A dog?
[Chalky] Dog? - No.
a horse ... or maybe a kangaroo?
[Chalky] Horse/Kangaroo? - Not a horse. Not a kangaroo. Not some freaky cross-breed of the two.
You leave my black velvet coated skippy alone, Chalky. ;)
Does this film involve hunters?
[Dujon] hunters? - No, not that I recall anyway.
Mickey Mouse?
Bambi/Disney?
[Software] Mickey Mouse? - No.

Summary: The AOTC is a living, fictional, non-human character and the title of a live action film from more than ten years ago. The character is not a dog, horse, kangaroo or any traditional game animal (no hunters). It is not a book (I couldn't even find a novelisation) and the film was not made by Disney.
Why did Bambi get some applause from the audience?
King Kong?
Trigger, the Wonder Horse?
[Chalky] Bambi got the clap? - First time someone guessed a film with a title character.
[Chalky] King Kong? - No.
[Raak] Trigger? - Not a horse, not even Trigger.
Babe?
Racing Stripes?
[Software] Babe? - Still not Babe.
[Phil] Racing Stripes? - No.
A member of the cat family?
Is the AOTC humanoid?
[Raak] Feline? - No.
[Phil] Humanoid? - Yes.
a Martian?
[Raak] Martian? - *Audience applaudes loudly* No, or at least probably not.
Is the central character a being stranded on Earth?
Paul?
[Dujon] Stranded on Earth? - Yes.
[Phil] Paul? - No.
ET?
Superman?
[Phil] Kal-El? - No.
[Chalky] Phone home? - YES it was ET The Extraterrestrial. Have a baton with one glowing end.
Splendid! Thank you GL.


Keeping it simple with A N I M A L and V E G E T A B L E and even a hint of M I N E R A L
Meat and two veg with a sprinkling of salt?
[Raak] Meat and two veg with a sprinkling of salt? NO *audience applause*
Is it edible?
Smokey bacon crisps?
[Phil] Edible? YES
[Raak] Smokey bacon crisps? NO - but *a huge roar of approval from an already excited audience*
A full english breakfast?
Oh, I say ...

Thanks to some incisive questioning Projoy has it!
Full English Breakfast is indeed the AOTC.

Here you are, dear chap, please accept this amusingly-shaped sausage baton ... phnarr phnarr
How eggs-citing. Hopefully I won't make a hash of the next one.

MINERAL
Is it man made?
[GL] Human-made? YES.
Metal, mostly?
[Rosie] More metal than not? NO, but there is metal in it.
Intended to be digested?
Bricklike?
[Dj] Gustible? NO.
[Chalky] Bricky? NO.
[Rosie, addendum re: metal] I guess that by mass the metal makes up less than 50% but now I think about it more, I'm not completely sure.
Electrical?
A device, gadget, tool etc?
Yes or No to any - I'm not trying it on.
[Software] Electrical? I'd say NO * a murmur in the audience*
[Rosie] "Device" is probably the best out of those options.
A piece of equipment designed for the reception of radio signals?
[Dj] PoEDftRoRS? NO. *much audience applause*
battery operated?
A router?
A CD?
[Chalkeroonie] Battery? NO
[Rosie] Router? NO
[GL] CD? NO *tumultuous applause*
A cassette tape?
A DVD?
[rab] A cassette? YES!
* hands over a biro so you can rewind to the start of a new round*
Bollocks
I should know better than to post before buffering off to the pub for six hours.

Mine is ABSTRACT, potentially with connections to all three other categories.

The colour red?
[Chalky] Whence "phnarr phnarr", I wonder?
Reality?
Imagination?
music?
[Tuj] I first encountered it in the 80s via "Finbarr Saunders and his Double Entendres" in Viz magazine (once the 3rd most popular magazine in the UK!)
Colours - not even close.
Reality - only in the sense that this does have a physical manifestation.
Imagination - components might transpire as a figment of the same.
Music - no. But the general level of tangibility is not far off.
A human invention?
An artform?
As opposed to a specific piece of art.
Is this an emotion of some kind?
A performance of some kind?
(Tuj, Phil) I'm sure it was "Fnarr, fnarr".
April Fool?
Sorry for asking two questions but this one had to be asked.
Human? - very much so yes.
Artform? - to say yes would be deliberately obtuse, but the level of specificity is spot on.
Performance? - of some kind, I suppose so.
Ha ha bonk? - no
Is this an emotion of some kind?
On behalf of Dujon the Whisperer ;-)
Sorrow.
Emotional? No. Not that human.
Academia?
Lackademicals
No, but I like the cut of your jib.
Teaching?
A theory?
Teaching - no, but keep thinking about performances in the broader sense
A theory - no
Might this involve 'letters after ones name'?
Legal connection?
A medical connection?
Postnomials? Probably, but not necessarily.
Legal link? *applause* Yes, keep going
Medical? Possibly, but not necessarily.
Being called to the bar?
Mine's a small americano
Nope.
Evidence?
*ooh ahh* part of the performance certainly.
Cross-examination?
Making a statement?
A trial?
Prosecution?
Grumpy looks? No, but this is definitely involved.
Statement? Likewise
Inspiration for Kafka? audience oohs, aahs and generally inhales in a "that'll costya" kind of way no
Perspiration? No.
A tribunal?
Advocacy?
Tribunal? Not long, now.
Advocacy? Less abstract.
A court case?
Luggage? Nope. Keep going though.
Legal Aid?
The Supreme Court?
Unexciting fizzy drink? No
Cooked in stock and cream and served with rice to make an unfulfilling dish? Nein.
You were closest with the tribunal-style performance.
A Judgement?
A judicial review?
Public Inquiry?
A Royal Commission?
A verdict?
Got there in the end
Yay, Chalky. It was a public inquiry. Well done.
Yay. Nice one. Good to see you, rab.
As is my custom - a quickie ...
A N I M A L

Human?
[Raak] Human? YES - ish.
Politician?
Maria Miller?
An extinct hominid?
Sajid Javid?
Alive now?
[Gusset Login] - Politician? NO
[Software]- Maria Miller? NO
[Raak] - An extinct hominid? NO
[Projoy]- Sajid Javid? NO
[Rosie] - Alive now? n/a
A group of people?
A post or position?
To do with the military?
[Raak] A group of people? NO *a smattering of applause*
[Rosie] A post or position? NO
[Dujon] To do with the military? As much as 'it' is to do with any person or group of people.

*clarification* Without the indefinite article I assumed the one-word opening question was an adjective as opposed to a noun - hence my vague-ish reply.
Humanity? I.e. everyone?
[Raak] Humanity? NO - however, this relates to 'everyone'
A specific individual?
Part of a human?
The human genome?
[Projoy] Specific? NO
[Gusset Login] Part of a human? YES! *audience whooop whoops*
[Raak] The human genome? NO - although given my reply to GL above - more relevant than earlier guesses ;-)
An internal organ?
An organ?
Oops. I meant, a bone?
The bridge of the nose.
hehe
[GL] An internal organ? Arguably - YES, this is classified as an organ in most places [that classify such things].
[Projoy] YES an organ, still ... but definitely not a bone.
[rab] The bridge of the nose? NO - but *audience seems to like all the last few questions*
Is this (or these) particular 'empty' spaces within the human body?
The skin?
[Dujon] Empty spaces? NO
[Raak] The skin? NO
The blood?
Is it found at one specific location in the body?
The appendix?
[Raak] The blood? YES! Need a little more for the AOTC .. *roars of approval from a very excited audience*
[rab] Specific location? As confirmed above - several locations throughout the body.
[Phil] Appendix? Nah :)
The circulatory system?
[GL] Circulatory system? NO
The corpuscles?
[Raak] Corpuscles - NO - although they are relevant ..
Anything to do with the process of healing?
Red blood cells?
The immune system?
No to all - it's about Blood!
Blood BLOOD
Blood vessels?
A blood donation?
Seeing the word so often on the page, the voice in my head is now making it rhyme with "mood". mood ... blood ... food ... blood ... hood ... blood ... wood .. blood ...
Black pudding, then. So there.
[Software] I think Chalky said yes to "human?", so that would be quite some black pudding if it is right.
[Projoy] Not blood vessels
[Raak] Not a blood donation
[Software] Not a human black pudding.

Remember ... it's all about the blood.
blood plasma?
An armful (very nearly)?
Haemoglobin?
Is this a type of blood cell which has various types?
[Raak] Plasma? Not the AOTC
[Projoy] Not an armful
[Rosie] Haemoglobin? Not the AOTC
[Dujon] 'Various types' is a phrase which should lead to the AOTC ... *audience wakes up*
A rhesus negative?
What took you so long ..?
[Projoy] 'A rhesus negative' is about as close as anyone has come to the AOTC, with the exception of Raak who guessed the 'blood' word. As the AOTC is Rhesus Negative Blood I am thrilled to hand over this gargantuan syringe-shaped baton to do with as you wish ..
It may be just a smear to you, mate, but that's life or death to some poor blighter.
OK, here's another.

ANIMAL
Human?
[Rosie] Human? YES.
Alive?
A particular human?
[GL] Not alive.
[Phil] A particular human.
Died this year?
[GL] Mort MMXIV? NO
A pianist?
An actor?
Died this decade?
Involved in "the arts"?
... or even "the sciences"?
[Dujon] Pianist? NO.
[rab] Actor? YES.
[GL] Mort -10? NO.
[Phil] Arts? YES.
[Chalky] Science? NO.
Male?
British?
[Phil, Rosie] British and Male.
Has he starred in a major science fiction movie?
Died post 1990?
[Raak] SF movie? Pretty sure that's a NO.
[Chalky] Died after the Thatcher era? NO.
Died before 1970?
Died before the Heath era? YES.
Shakespearean roles?
Garrick?
Died before 1960?
#obsessingonthedeaththing
[Raak, Rosie] Not known for Shakespeare
[Chalky] Died since 1960.
Kenneth Horne?
Stan Laurel?
Vocalist?
[GL] Stiff Horne? NO.
[Phil] Resting Laurel? Another fine mess: NO.
[Software] If you mean singer, then NO.
Tony Hancock?
The lad himself
[Rosie] It IS Tony Hancock. Please take this radio aerial (and send a tray of bread pudding to Kuala Lumpur).
Part of my early teenage years. On the Home Service, no less, or was it the Light Programme? Can't remember. Now, what shall I do with this thing? Ah, yes -

ABSTRACT and MINERAL.

The Philosopher's Stone?
The last train?
Sonic Screwdriver?
A legendary object?
(Phil) Nothing so concrete.
(Projoy) Nice try, but alas....
(GL) No, not a latter-day Swiss Army penknife.
(Raak) YES, at least in the Abstract sense.
A particular vision?
(Dujon) YES, something specific.
Hidden textI am now going to bed
Human-made?
(Projoy) NO, not a human creation though the Abstract indirectly involves humans.
Something that might be studied by scientists?
(Projoy) They might, as an incidental, but it's not the flavour of the AOTC.
Anything to do with steam engines?
(Raak) Vocal traction? Not a scintilla, not a smithereen, not e'een a wisp of steam from a leaky cylinder gland.
Is a lake often associated with this?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with lakes.
To do with "The Arts"?
A corno da tirarsi?
A brass instrument that Bach specifies in four of his cantatas, but no-one knows exactly what instrument he meant.
(Phil) Nothing to do with The Arts.
(Raak) Not a little trumpet.
Hidden text(Welsh) corn bach
Metallic?
(Software) NO, not at all metallic.
A natural feature?
(GL) YES, a natural feature.
Giant's Causeway?
(GL) NO, nothing so hexagonal.
In the UK?
(Raak) Mineral - NO, Abstract - Mainly NO but could be.
Is the AOTC a mountain?
(Dujon) NO, not a mountain.
Are the abstract and mineral two distinct (essentially unconnected) meanings of the AOTC?
(CdM) The two are connected, one literal, one figurative.
Is this a weather feature?
(Chalky) Weather? Broadly, YES. *audience stops texting and looks up*
Does the word 'global' appear on the card?
(Dujon) "Global"? NO.
Is this a weather formation that was given a name?
Confused as always.
(Dujon) YES, it has a specific name but this is not normally regarded as a meteorological term.
Is this a form of wind pattern?
I know that I shouldn't but everyone else seems to have knocked off for the weekend.
(Dujon) NO, not a wind pattern.
Is it associated with deserts?
A dust storm?
(GL) Maybe a stronger asssociation with deserts than other places but a long way from exclusively so.
(Softers) Not a dust storm.
Is this 'object' a form of visual 'trickery'?
(Dujon) Visual trickery? NO, very real.
Associated with water or lack of?
(Chalky) Nothing to do with water, most certainly not.
Solar power?
(Chalky) YES, very much so. *audience goes positively orgasmic*
So is that the AOTC ...?
If it isn't I'm not quite sure where to go from here ..
Ra, the Sun God?
Apollo?
The sun?
(Chalky) NO, not the AOTC, but it's about the sun.
(Phil) NO, not Ra, not a God.
(Projoy) NO, not Apollo.
(Gusset Login) Yes, but specifically....?
halo?
Sunshine?
(Software) Not a halo.
(Projoy) The AOTC is much more specific.
A little ray of sunshine?
(Projoy) Rather more than that, it would seem.
A supernova?
A solar flare?
Solar winds?
(Raak, CdM, Projoy) Nothing as technical as these. An earthbound phenomenon, not a scientific term.
A sunbeam?
(Projoy) Not a sunbeam. This is probably more Art than Science.
Is this something like the sight of a huge cumulonimbus lit up by the setting sun?
(Dujon) A nice image that conjures up but alas NO. HINT: The AOTC is the name of a pub.
The Rising Sun?
(Chalky) NO, but very close. Move on a bit. *audience now hyperventilating dangerously*
The Midday Sun?
Thanks to Google
The Sun and Ferret Droppings?
The Setting Sun?
The Sun and Heir?
(Chalky, Projoy,Raak) Not the Sun and Trouserpress, either, for

Phil has it. The midday sun. Well done. Stay indoors.

As soon as I saw it was in Surrey, it had to be right.

Next, for your amusement and intellectual delight, we shall have:

Vegetable & Animal

Edible?
Well, that's a nice easy start :)
[Raak] Edible? YES
A chicken salad sandwich?
[Projoy] Chix Salad Butty? NO
Pub grub?
[Software] Is the AOTC "Pub grub"? NO, but it could be classified as such
Is the animal red meat?
Scampi and chips in the basket ?
very 70s
Is the vegetable potatoes?
A 'lunch' of some kind?
Scotch Broth?
[Rosie] Red meat? According to the USDA, YES, but in my personal opinion, NO.
[Software] Scampi? NO
[Raak] Potatoes? NO
[Dujon] some kind of 'lunch'? YES, it can be.
[Chalky] Scotch Broth? NO *some encouraging applause*
Some form of burger?
[Rosie] Burger? NO
soup?
Does it contain sausage?
Is bacon involved?
[Raak] Soup? YES *more applause*
[Rosie] Inc. sausage? NO
[GL] Bacon involved? NO * A smattering of applause*
Does this involve ham and peas?
[Dujon] Ham & Peas? YES *Considerable applause*
Pea and ham soup?
Does it begin with a...
Ahem.
[Tuj] But 3 hours too late :)
[Raak] Pea and ham soup? YES
Officially, as far as I could find, pork counts as red meat in the USA, and appears to be undefined here. But in my opinion, 3 categories of meat exist :red, white and processed, hence my awkward answer earlier.
*passes a breadstick to Raak*
The next is ANIMAL.
Is bacon involved?
Does this animal consume bacon?
[GL] Bacon is not involved.
[CdM] Does not normally consume bacon.
Is it human?
Alive?
[Gusset Login] Not human.
[Rosie] Alive.
One particular animal?
[Rosie] Um...yes and no.
An animal foetus perhaps?
[Dujon] Not a foetus.
A swarm of bees attacking Topshop?
Is it a parasite?
[GL] Not a swarm of bees.
[Dujon] Yes! It is a parasite.
A louse?
[Software] Not a louse.
Does it begin with P?
Does not begin with P.
Is this an internal parasite (as opposed to a tick or its ilk)?
[Dujon] Not an internal parasite.
Is it a Benefit Scrounger?
[Chalky] * laughter and applause* Yes, I suppose it is in a way.
A mosquito?
[Rosie] Not a mosquito.
Was this once used by doctors as a remedy for various ills?
[Dujon] Not a cureall.
Tick?
[GL] Not a tick.
Does it have a relationship with bats?
[Dujon] Not below the phylum level.
A bedbug?
Flea?
[CdM,Software] Not a bedbug or a flea.
Does the average Morniverser harbour this creature?
[Rosie] The average Morniverser probably does not harbour this creature.
Hint: think bigger.
Is this more likely to be found on something other than a human?
[Dujon] Yes, does not parasitise humans.
Some sort of worm?
[Projoy] Not a worm.
Hint: bigger!
Do the parasite and its host live in water?
[Dujon] Not in water.
A vampire bat?
Dracula? No.
Cuckoo?
[Software] **riotous applause!!** Yes, a cuckoo! But which one?
The first cuckoo of spring?
[Projoy] Precisely so!
My mind went straight to Delius as soon as cuckoos came up.

The next is MINERAL.
Well it would wouldn't it? Dear old Fred.
Is the mineral natural?
Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to ask a question.
Is it metal?
Is it edible/potable?
[Duj] Natural? NO
[GL] Metal? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO * a reflective chuckle from an audient*
Stony?
So close, oh so close :(
[Software] Stony? NO, this falls on stony ground.
Sorry I pipped you. The late worm catches the bird, I guess.
Plastic?
[GL] YES, a form of plastic.
Decorative?
A form of packaging?
[Sw] Decorative? YES, mainly
[Rosie] Packaging? NO
Lycra?
[GL] Lycra? NO *scattered applause*
A clothing fabric?
Ladies clothing oriented?
Latex?
Spray-on jeans of the sort that have lately become fashionable?
[Phil] Clothing? YES
[Software] Ladies'? NO
[GL] Rubber? NO
[Raak] Sprayon? NO
Is this pants/trouser support?
[Duj] Keeps your panties on? NO.
Is it a codpiece?
Though I suppose that could arguably be described as "packaging"...
[blame] Codpiece? NO *audience applause*
Is it used in the undergarment department?
[Phil] Undies? NO
Cricket box?
Not sure if that's undies or overies. Now I'm working on a pun involving overs... Meantime I'm emboldened to guess by the applause, if not by the html, but also aware they'll applaud anything remotely saucy that lot...
[blame] Overies unlikely to be found in a cricket box, shurely? NO.
Rubber?
[Raak] Rubber? NO, definitely synthetic.
*googles* Oh, there is such a thing as synthetic rubber. Anyway, it's not that.
Is the item visible on a normally-clothed person?
a hat of some sort?
[Rosie] I don't know about "normally clothed", but YES, it would be visible on a person wearing it.
[Chalky] Hat? NO.
A condom?
A wet suit?
A superhero's cape?
[Chalky] Une lettre? NON
[Phil] Wet suit? NO *an audient smiles, teasingly*
[Raak] Cape? NO
Hi-Vis jacket?
Is it work-related apparel?
[Software] Jobsworth uniform? NO
[Raak] Job uniform? NO
An umbrella hat?
[Raak] If you want to get ahead? NO.
Is this designed to keep the wearer dry?
Mainly decorative you say ... ?
[Duj] For dryness? NO
[Chalky] Decorative? YES.
Is it made of neoprene?
A substantial fascinator?
[Phil] Neoprene? NO
[Raak] Fascinator? NO
Does this item have any lascivious connections?
Comedy apron?
Is this normally worn above the waist?
[Rosie] Naughty? NO
[Chalky] Apron? NO
[Dujon] Above the waist? YES.
below the neck?
[Chalky] Below neck? YES AND NO.
Scarf?
[Soft] Scarf? NO.
Is it a form of necklace?
... or necktie maybe?
[Dujon] Necklace? NO
[Chalky] Necktie? YES, a form of... *applause*
A noose?
[Raak] Synthetic noose? NO.
Bow Ties are cool
Is it? A dickie bow?
[blame] Not a dickybird from the audience for that, I'm afraid.
Cravat?
[Software] Cravat? NO.
PVC collar for the BDSM community?
,[Phil] Of Human Bondage? NO. As per Chalky's answer, the AotC is a form of necktie, or 'tie', as we Brits call it.
A policeman's clip-on tie?
In that case...
[Phil] Clip-on tie? NO.
A clerical collar?
Not female wear. .. and mainly decorative?
Just so's we're all on the same hymn sheet ...
[Rosie] Dog collar? NO
[Chalky] YES, a form of male (by convention), decorative necktie.
"Bolo" tie?
[Phil] Bolo? X.
One of those hideous things Texans wear?
[Soft] A "bolo" tie, as I believe they're called? NO
A kipper tie?
Is that why they applauded codpiece? For the cod, rather than - as it were - the piece...
[blame] YES! the words on the card are "a nylon kipper tie", and the fish connection was indeed the reason for the applause. *turns the baton around itself twice, folds the end through the gap, passes it through the loop, tightens, and hands it over to blamelewis*
I was fishing from the shoulders of giants...
Yay, whee, oh cripes do I have to do one now?

Errrrr... ANIMAL
A human?
A Duck?
The Duck-Man of Oswestry?
[Projoy] Oh I do hope that's right - we did a project on him at school.
No to all above sadly...
The Ocelot-Man of Oswestry?
The Owl-Man of Oswestry?
Part of a dead animal?
I fear Owestry has no part in it... And it's less part of a dead animal than the whole of a living one.
Mammal?
Fish?
Neither Fish nor Mammal.
Is it a bird?
dingdingding
[Rosie] Yes!
The Duck-Pigeon of Wrexham?
A penguin?
Associated with NE Wales?
The chick of Chirk. I know this part of the world rather well.
[Projoy] We need to have a talk.
[Gusset] Not a penguin.
[Rosie] Not to my knowledge.
Mythical avian?
A well-known phrase or saying?
So much for the Albatross of Acrefair, then.
A species of bird?
[Software] I have reasonably good reason to believe it's a real species
[Rosie] None that I've come across
[Phil] Yes, exactly that.
Does this bird fly?
Likely to be seen in a British back garden?
[Dujon] Shrewd. No it doesn't.
[Rosie] Alas no.
Is it a penguin?
Is it a Kiwi?
[Phil] Still not a penguin :)
[Gusset] Neither a Kiwi
An ostrich?
But not the Oswestry Ostrich, obviously.
Emu?
A dodo?
I know you said living but all the good answers were gone.
[Rosie] Obviously. Also, no.
[Software] U me? (no...)
[Gusset] I can promise you that just fewer than two good answers remain.
Is it extinct?
A bird that is to be found in northern Australia?
Grebe?
A cassowary?
(since Dujon never actually comes out with the guess) :-)
A gold star to CdM. What a morniverse-analytic person you are. :)
[Raak] Nope
[Dujon] Nope
[Gusset] Nope
[CdM] Nope
Rhea?
A caracara?
[Software] Not a Rhea, but Rare! (Not a Ratite, but a rarity)
[Phil] it is not, but thanks for introducing me to a new bird name...
A steamer duck?
Ostrich?
A recap
It's a non-mythical species of bird, flightless and rare.
It is none of the following:
Penguin, Penguin, Kiwi, Ostrich, Emu, Grebe, Cassowary, Rhea, Caracara, Steamer Duck, Ostrich.
A cryptic clue follows
Hidden textFilthy Teletubby!
The Kakapo of Ludlow?
The Po Bird?!
Is it someting along the lines of the Oomegoolybird?
This was posted via Eh-Oh L.
"Something". I have not gone Jamaican.
Penguin?
Projoy has it!
Apart from the Ludlow bit, as far as I'm aware...
[Gusset] A droll lol...
It is indeed the endearingly hopeless Kakapo, which I learned about from Douglas Adams' wonderful Last Chance To See and the later TV series with Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine revisiting the species from the book years later.
[Rosie] I remember that joke, is it from Clue? "very short legs..."
OK, here's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL
France?
Some form of food and drink?
[GL] France? NO
[blamelewis] Edible/Imbibable? NO
Can you wear it?
A gold embossed, leather bound book?
Arty?
Does the animal part relate to humans?
Is this an object once used in war and hunting?
[GL] Book? NO
[Raak] Art-related? NO
[Phil] Animal human? PARTLY/MAINLY, I suppose.
[Dujon] An object? NO. Used in war? ARGUABLY (but probably not that helpful an angle).
[Softers] Wearable? NO.
Is/was there just one of it?
[Raak] Just one? YES is the best answer.
The Earth, and all that is upon it?
A man-made environment?
[Raak] The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yea, all which it inherit? NO
[Rosie] A man-made environment? YES, I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.
The Anthropocene Age?
[Raak] Humantime? NO
Is/was it in space?
[blame] In space? NO (except in the sense that everything is).
A theatre?
Can you see all of it at once?
[blame] Not a theatre.
[Rosie] Can you see it all at once? NO, not from most angles.
(I guess it depends how strict your definition of 'it all' is).
Bigger than a phonebox?
[Software] Much bigger than a phonebox.
Bigger than Ireland?
[GL] Smaller than Ireland.
About the size of Wales?
1 standard unit.
[Rosie] Smaller than a Wales.
Bigger than Kent?
[GL] Smaller than Kent.
A man-made island?
Bigger than Central London?
Within the M25
[Software] Not an island
[GL] Smaller than London, both in M25 and 1965 and 1899 boundaries terms.
er, 1889, I meant.
Bigger than the London Eye?
[GL] Yes, bigger than the biggest ferris wheel.
Is it an organisation?
[blamelewis] Organised? No, not as such.
A specific urban area?
[Rosie] A specific urban area? YES.
Slough?
In the UK?
[Software] Come, friendly bombs? NO
[GL] In UK? YES!
Is this an area which might be loosely termed as an 'entertainment' district?
[Duj] Entertainment? NO.
Is it a City?
Is it in Wales?
Is it a distinctive part of some large city?
[blame] City? NO
[GL] Wales? NO. *audience cries of 'bad luck, old chap'*
[Rosie] Distinctive part? NO.
Is it in England?
Shropshire?
[GL] England? YES!
[Software] Shropshire? YES!
Gotta be Oswestry.
[Rosie] Oswestry, home of the famous duck-man? YES! Please take this very short section of the England-Wales border.
Well, well, I've been Offa'd a Dyke. Oswestry was "town" to my Dad's family from Glynceiriog.

Enough of this rambling - the next object is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.

A human construct?
(Pj) A human construct? - YES.
Particularly linked to a specific human?
(CdM) Linked to a specific human? - NO.
Is there a religious theme to the answer?
(Phil) Religious theme - NO.

Clarification/Correction: The "human construct" applies to the wording rather than the idea itself.

Phrase or saying?
(Software) Phrase or saying? - YES.
Wales-related?
Is the animal element specifically human?
(Projoy) Nothing to do with Wales, or its border towns.
(Phil) Animal element human? - YES.
Is there anybody there?
(Rosie) Not a soul.
A fool and his money are soon parted?
I am
(Softers) So true, but not this time.

Hint: The AOTC contains no verb - it's a description.

So that'd be along the lines of a 'Man Mountain' then?
(Dujon) Possibly along those lines, YES.
Duck Face?
(Gusset Login) Not "Duck Face". *some aduience murmurings of approval*
Selfie?
(Gusset Login) Not a selfie.
Is the mineral naturally occurring?
(Dujon) Naturally occurring mineral? NO.
A photo bomb?
atomic or otherwise
Is this something related to some thing people wear?
(GL) Er, not sure what that is, but it ain't the answer.
(Dujon) No relation to anything worn.
Related to "The Arts"?
Something somebody does?
(Phil) The Arts and How They Was Done? NO.
(Software) Not a thing anybody does.
A type of person?
(Raak) Strictly, NO, but we may be getting somewhere. *audience, previously somnolent, now considerably animated*
A fictional character?
A role that someone plays?
(Phil) Fictional? NO. This is about real people.
(Raak) NO, not a role.
A job title?
(Phil) Job title? NO.
Raak's penultimate: The AOTC is not a type of person but describes a type of person.
A Fat Bastard?
A jobsworth?
(Software) Not a Fat Bastard.
(Raak) Not a jobsworth.
It's figurative - see the original definition.
Is this something one would be pleased to be described as?
(Raak) A nice description? Someone described thus may well say yes, but the vast majority, no.
Is the mineral metal?
Trying different line of attack...
(Phil) Is the mineral metal? YES.
Man of iron?
(Software) Not Man of Iron, nor Thatcher. Try just a little further up the Periodic Table.
Is it related to Polonium?
(Gusset Login) Polonium? NO. Not that far up the Periodic Table, nothing like it.
copper?
(Phil) Copper? YES, but not solely.
Bronze Age Man?
(Phil) Bronze Age Man? NO.
Brass neck?
(Software) Damn cheek, but the right answer! A Brass Neck it is. I hand you the brazen stick.
Gosh, I must get out the Brasso.

Now what have we here? The laser display board is showing the audience and the players are getting the clues:

This time it is ANIMAL

An individual?
A human?
Living?
Multi-YES!
In the entertainment industry?
Female?
[Raak] NO, would be the right answer
[GL] NO
Involved in politics?
[GL] In a way, YES.
Seen on TV?
Billy Bragg?
[Chalky] oh YES
[Pro} NO
In charge of a programme?
A presenter on current affairs?
[Rosie] NO
[Raak] NO
A comedian?
Anything to do with sport?
[Rosie] NO
[Raak] NO
An actor?
A peer?
[Phil] Not as such, NO
[Raak] NO
Something to do with 'reality TV'?
[GL] Big Brotherism? NO
Someone's side-kick?
[Rosie] Subordinate? NO very much his own man
Jeremy Clarkson?
Host of a TV programme?
[Raak] Wheel Spheel? absolutely NO
[Phil] Still not a TV presenter NO
known primarily for tv work?
Host of tv programme is not necessarily the same as in charge of one, or a news presenter.
[Phil] forget tv as a main issue NO
Involved in "the Arts"?
A scientist?
[Phil] arty farty? NO
[Rosie] Boffin? NO
Part of the financial world?
A doctor?
[Rosie] Wheeler dealer? NO
[cfm] Dr Whom? NO
Is the TV presence of primary importance?
[Rosie] NO not really but it is of some interest
Well-known primarily in the (still) United Kingdom?
[cfm] NO, pretty well known worldwide I'd say

Recap:
male, well known, not especially TV oriented, not an actor or a presenter but (clue) newsworthy.

[cfm] NO, pretty well known worldwide I'd say

Recap:
male, well known, not especially TV oriented, not an actor or a presenter but (clue) newsworthy.

A tycoon?
[Rosie] NO.
A musician?
[cfm] NO
Journalist?
You forgot to mention 'vague link to politics' in the recap.
[GL] Horrah! YES
Works for the BBC?
Mainly journalises for newspapers?
Piers Morgan?
[Rosie] NO
[Projoy] YES
[GL] Smarmy? NO
Would he be an ex-pat Australian?
[Duj] wizard of Oz? YES now we are cooking with gas!
Clive James?
[Phil] That Oz? NO
Not Rupert sodding Murdoch?
[Rosie] Absolutely NOT! - NO
John Pilger?
[Rosie] Not him either, but stick with the Oz theme. NO
Does this chap have a surname which is also a common given name?
[Duj] Daily Telegraph top 10 boys names? NO
Peter Greste?
Mark Austin?
[Phil] PG? NO
[Chalks] MA NO stick with the Oz theme
Aged over 50?
Leftish tendencies?
Regularly published in a UK Newspaper?
[Phil] > 50? NO
[Rosie] Red under the bed? YESish
[GL] Regular contributor? NO
Given your emphasis on OZ: Was this person involved with the OZ magazines?
Clarification: Oz = Australian. Anyway, the AOTC is under 50
Is this ex-pat Australian now based in the UK?
Richard Flanagan?
[Phil] In the UK? Well, technically, NO (but ponder on that)
[GL] had to Google him NO
Oh, it'll be that moron Julian Assange then, is it?
[Phil] That moron? - YES!

I didn't think that this would have taken so long, never mind, I now hand over the leaky baton to Phil!

Ithangyew, Software! Indeed, I think we could have got there earlier with the right questions. So lets be pressing on with

Animal

Human?
[Software] Human? YES
Alive?
[GL] Alive? NO
Died this century?
Begins with P?
Male?
Western?
Entertainer?
[Raak] 21st century death? NO
[Tuj] P-prefix? NO
[Rosie] Male? YES
[pen] Western? YES (unless you mean in the John Wayne sense)
[GL] ENtertainer? NO
Died before 1950?
[GL] Dead pre 1950? YES
Died before 1850?
Political connection?
[GL] Dead pre 1850? NO
[Software] Political connection? YES-ish
A scientist?
[Raak] Scientist? YES-ish, again
Was he an American inventor?
[Dujon] US Inventor? NO
A non-American Inventor?
Just to cover all bases.
Pre WWII?
German?
[GL] Any other inventor? NO
[Software] pre WWII? Yes
[Raak] German? NO
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?
[Software] Sir A C Doyle? NO
Lewis Carroll?
[Rosie] Lewis Carroll? NO
72 hours without a question.
Time for a quick summary: A non-German western man who died between 1850 and 1939. Minor scientific and political connections. Neither an inventor nor an entertainer. Neither Arthur C Doyle nor Lewis Carroll. In addition, neither his Christian name nor surname begins with P.
On reflection I may have understated his scientific side, but would not call him a scientist.
Was he famous for something other than science and politics?
[GL] Famous outside of Science and Politics? YES *audience awakens from a short snooze*
Known as a philosopher?
Was he a neurologist?
[Raak] Known as a philosopher? NO
[Dujon] Do. neurologist? NO
A strong connection to medicine?
[GL] Strong connection to medicine? YES *some applause*
Louis Pasteur?
[Rosie] Pasteur? NON
Writer?
Was he a native English speaker?
(Yes, Americans and Australians count in this category don't be mean)
[gil] Writer? YES (be careful)
[GL] Native Anglophone? YES
Fiction?
[gil] Fiction writer? NO
British cinematic connection?
[Software] British cinema connection? YES, but only rather tenuously
A week since the last summary
So, all the previous summary plus: he has a strong connection to medicine and is a native English speaker who has written non-fiction works, has a rather tenuous connection to British cinema, is a native English speaker, and not Louis Pasteur, a philosopher or a neurologist. Other than "Western" we still don't know what nationality he is!
Canadian?
[GL] Canadian? NO
Scottish?
[GL] Scottish? YES *More Applause*
Dr Livingstone, I presume...
[gil] Correct. And have a bonus point for the question I was hoping to be asked.
A, V, M, a combination of these, or A
Begins with P?
Smörgåsbord?
[tuj] Doesn't begin with P
[Raak] not sm... what you said
A Scottish 'dish'?
[dujon] not a Scottish dish
Edible?
A collective noun?
Edible? While some varieties of this object are edible, the majority are not. It would mislead you to follow that line.
A collective noun? No. A noun? Yes.
Is the animal part a reptile?
[Dujon] The object on the card may be constituted from one or a number of components, one of which might conceivably be reptilian, though it's unlikely. Equally, another meaning of the above-mentioned object may be abstract. You may therefore assume that the object on the card is general rather than specific. Hope that helps. Actually, I once heard a team on the radio deduce this object in 20 questions to which the answers were restricted to Yes or No.
A work of art?
[Phil] Not a work of art, though I suppose someone could construe a particular example of this object as one. But the general run of objects like this have relatively mundane purposes.
An elephant's foot umbrella stand?
A Ball?
[Software] .... Almost...
[Gusset Login] You Win! Well done.
[Software] .... Almost...
[Gusset Login] You Win! Well done.
Double keypress glitch... Sorry
Next is MINERAL
Metallic?
[gil] Metallic? - No.
Solid?
[Raak] Solid? - No. (Assuming room temperature)
Liquid?
[Phil] Liquid? - No. (Assuming room temperature)
Would the liquid form of this element be rather nippy?
Part of the atmosphere?
[Dujon] Melting point more than 10 degrees Celsius lower than water? - Yes
[Rosie] In the atmosphere? - Yes, but probably not naturally to any great extent.
One of the rare gases?
[Raak] Rare/Noble gas? - No
CFCs?
Methane?
Flatulo ergo sum.
[Software] CFCs? *A smattering of applause* - No
[Rosie] Methane? - No
ozone?
Carbon dioxide?
[gil] ozone? - No
[Raaak] CO2? - No
helium?
Does it have a smell?
[gil] He? - No.
[Rosie] Smelly? - Yes.
Butane?
Hydrogen sulphide?
[Software] Butane? - No.
[Rosie] Hydrogen sulphide? - No.
Is this an NH compound commonly used in fertiliser and cleaning products?
[Dujon] NH? - No. Compound? - No. Commonly used in fertiliser and cleaning products? - Yes and No.
Chlorine?
[gil] Cl? - Yes. Have a baton made of purest chlorine. (Best hold your breath for a bit).
Abstract
Phrase or saying?
An emotion?
Begins with P?
Phrase? No
Emotion? Yes
Begins with P? Yes
Do some people suffer attacks of this for no obvious reason?
Panic?
Anything to do with fear?
Rosie wins. Raak a close second.
(Forgot to mention that Dujon was third. That was more like an attack of mass telepathy than an AVMA round)
Right then, it's ABSTRACT
Justice?
Is this usually a good thing?
(GL) Justice? NO
(gil) To most, YES, but in moderation.
Christmas Cheer?
(GL) Christmas cheer? NO.
Connected with the current season?
An emotion?
(Raak) Advent? NO. (nor any other season)
(Phil) An emotion? NO.
A condition, like peace?
(gil) A condition, such as peace. NO
An attribute, such as speed?
(gil) An attribute? YES, I'd say it is.
A skill?
Is the attribute associated with human beings?
(cfm) A skill? Not as such, but you may need it to bring this about.
(gil) A human attribute? NO.
Existence?
(gil) Existence? Rather less all-encompassing, so NO
(GL) The angular velocity of Resale Price Maintemamce? Sorry, but NO.
... stumped.
A sense?
(Phil) A sense? NO, but you need one of the senses to appreciate this.
A sound?
(Phil) A sound? YES.
The sound of one hand clapping?
Anything to do with steam engines?
(GL) Monochiral applause? NO.
(Phil) Steam engines? NO, although this has been mistakenly attributed to some of them by some writers. Hint I have another great interest.

AOTC is one word, a noun.

Thunder?
The sound of a trombone?
Music?
(Phil) Good guess, but alas WRONG.
(Raak) NO, not the 'bone.
(GL) Music? Well, actually, NO *audience now hyperventilating*
A whistle?
(Phil) A whistle? NO. (nothing to do with steam locos)

"Music" is not the AOTC, but.....

A Fanfare?
(GL) NOT a fanfare.
Muzak?
Melody?
(GL) Muzak? NO.
(gil) Melody? NO.
Jazz?
(Phil) NOT jazz, but heavily related.
Does this noun also describe animal droppings?
Sorry I'm late. The train was delayed.
(Duj) Can't quite see what you're getting at, but NO. molto con cowpat.
Blues?
A particular chord?
(GL) - NO, not the Blues.
(Raak) NO, not as particular.
Improvisation?
Is it a specific piece of music?
(Phil) Not improvisation.
(GL) Not a specific piece of music.
A musical form?
(Raak) A musical form? Strictly speaking NO, but that is in some ways misleading. Call it a feature.
A glissando?
(Phil) A glissandOOOOOoooooo? NO, but you're in the right area.
A trill?
crescendo?
(Raak) NOT a trill.
(gil) NOT a crescendo.

AOTC is one word.

Rhythm?
(Raak) Rhythm? You're getting very close.
Pitch?
Tempo?
(Phil) NOT pitch.
(GL) NOT tempo.
Not all music has the AOTC.
Swing?
(Raak) NOT swing, but swing often has this.
Syncopation?
(Phil) YES! Sin-coper-shone it is. Take this rather confused conductor's baton and proceed strictly alla marcia to The Next Object.
Ooh, a magical music stick
OK, for today's new guess-target, I am going to opt for:

Abstract and Animal

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?
Human?
Santa?
[GL] Rudoplh? NO. Although I wish I had done that now.
[Rosie] Human? YES
[Raak] St Nick? NO
Currently topical?
[Rosie] Topical? NO ... apols for the delay. And happy Christmas
Female?
[GL] Female? YES
Holder of an office?
[Rosie] Office-holder? NO
Alive at this moment?
Fictional?
A witch?
[Rosie] Alive at this moment? NO (although see below)
[GL] Fictional? YES
[Raak] A witch? NO
Did she have a few friends who were small in stature?
Did she once throw a metal bar torn off a street light at a talking lion?
Did she die in the work of fiction for which she is best known?
[Dujon] Friend of little people? NO, at least no more or less than anyone else, on average, I would surmise.
[Raak] Talking-lion-abuser? NO (I'm pretty sure that would have been mentioned, if she had)
[GL] Dead in fiction? NO
Is she best known for appearing in a film?
[GL] Best known as a film role? The answer would be different depending on whom you asked. For me it's a NO
Did she first appear in a book?
Was she created before July 12th 1956?
Raak - first in a book? YES
GL - Pre 12/7/56? YES
A child?
A children's book?
[Rosie] A child? NO
[Raak] Children's book? NO
Is she the title character of the book?
[GL] Title character? NO
A literary character?
[Rosie] Literary? YES
Nineteenth century?
A correction
[Rosie] On reflection "literary" can be taken by some people to mean "from great works of 'Literature'", although I don't know how one would define them. The AotC is a character from fiction, and I have seen her mentioned as a "literary character", although I wouldn't rate the "literature" as "Literature", but some probably would. In all, she's a character from a book or books.
[gil] C19? YES, but not exclusively.
Was the book in English?
Mrs Hudson?
[Raak] In English? YES
[GL] Mrs Hudson? When one has eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, is indeed Mrs Hudson. CORRECT. Congratulations!
Hmm... OK, next up is: ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Is the animal connection human?
[Phil] Human? - No.
Is it a characteristic of a particular animal?
A fictional animal?
[Rosie] A characteristic of a particular animal? No, but there is a connection.
[Phil] Fictional animal(s)? Yes
Mammalian?
[Knobbly] Mammals? Not primarily but some.
Do they talk?
Is it the cast of a particular childrens' book?
[Raak] Talking animals? Thankfully, No.
[Dujon] Cast of a particular children's book? No.
Do such animals also exist (or have they) in the real world?
[Raak] Real animals? Yes. (Or at least something similar in most cases)
Native to UK?
[Software] Native to UK? Some might be, others certainly aren't.
The story so far...
Fictional animals of multiple species almost all of which are non-mammalian and in as far as they can be identified, are probably based on real animals but not UK natives (probably). They are not from a children's book and they don't talk. The character of the animals is important but is not likely to be guessed in a "____ as a [Name of animal]" sense.
Taking a backward step: Did they originally appear in a book?
[Dujon] originally from a book? No but apparently books have been made since (including children's books)
Mythical?
[Raak] Mythical? No.
Bunnyish?
[Software] Non-mammalian bunnies? No.
Earth-based?
[Phil] Earth-based? Yes, but not earth-based versions exist.
Unicellular?
[Raak] Mono-celled? No
Clues
I think everyone is as bored of this as I am. Here are some hints to push the game forward to less boring, more finishing moves.

1. The AOTC is two words. One of these describes the non-mammalian animals and the other is an attribute that sets them apart from the majority of their real world counterparts. The whole is the name of a 21st century abstract that was not originally literature but has since spread to various other media.

2. The mammalian animals are a less well known aspect of the AOTC and except with regard to colour, clearly represent an animal that is common in the UK, US and several other places. The primary animals are less easily identified.
Desert Rats?
Cat girls?
[Phil] Dessert Rats? No (Rats are mammals)
[Rak] Cat Girls? No (Cats and Girls are both mammals)
lizards?
[Raak] lizards? No
Fish?
[Raak] Fish No
Birds?
[Raak] Birds? Yes
Angry Birds?
[Raak] Angry Birds? YES Let me fire this avian baton at you.
Next: MINERAL
Manufactured?
Metal?
[Rosie] Manufactured.
[GL] Partly metal.
Can you (or I) lift it?
Can we lift it? No, yes, or no, from various points of view.
Unique?
[GL] Unique.
Does it belong to a single person?
[Tuj] Does not belong to one person.
Is it a pyramid?
[Dujon] Not a pyramid.
In UK?
(amusement in the audience) Not in the UK.
Bigger than a phone box?
[GL] Smaller than a phone box.
Could it be called art?
Smaller than a breadbox?
[Rosie] Not art. [GL] Larger than a breadbox.
Is it assembled bit by discrete bit?
[Dujon] Assembled piece by piece.
A triangulation point at some particular place?
[Rosie] Not a trig point.
Does it have a technical application?
[Rosie] Yes, it has a technical application.
A light?
[Rosie] Not a light.
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] Yes! Yes, it DOES begin with a P!
Was it manufactured in the twentieth century?
Is it associated with a particular type of geographical feature?
[Kim] Made in the 20th century.
[Rosie] Not associated with a type of geographical feature.
Would it be a product of WWII?
[Dujon] Not a product of WWII.
Oops, my answer to Kim was wrong. On searching out the date of its completion, I find it was not in the 20th century.
A telescope?
[Rosie] Not a telescope.
Philae lander?
And Knobbly scores a hole in one! Have this genuine Rosetta stone. My answer to the weightlifting question is explained by the fact that on Earth, it would weigh about 100 kg, which is more than I've ever bench pressed, but sitting on the comet it's estimated to weigh about 1 gram -- but you can't get there to lift it.
Sorry Tuj, was that where you were heading?
Next up is Vegetable
Is it edible?
Well, someone has to kick it off.
Alive?
Wooden?
Is it unique?
[Knobbly] One letter at a time? No =)
Does it have a practical use?
[Raak]
Hidden textMeasuring weight in g/kg rather than N?
Some catching up to do...
[Dujon] No, not edible (is the least misleading answer, although everything is edible once)
[GL] Yes, alive
[Phil] Yes, wooden *ripple of applause*
[Tuj] Yes, unique (or at least specific)
[Raak] No practical use
Does it live in Sherwood Forest?
Is it unusually old?
Is it a fruit tree?
[Dujon] Not in Sherwood Forest
[Raak] (Back from checking something I probably should have before starting) No, not unusually old
[GL] Not a fruit tree
Is it in the UK?
[Rosie] Yes it is in the UK
A specific sycamore?
[Dujon] Not a sycamore, no
Royal?
Is it a specific tree?
I thought I'd ask in case we were heading in the wrong direction.
Why did the internet eat my post twice?
[Raak] Royal connection, yes indeed
[Dujon] A specific tree, yes
[GL] Yes, an oak!
*Audience beside themselves with mild interest*
Oak Apple Day?
[Software] Not the 29th of May... A custom worthy of revival but not really a specific tree
Is it a son/daughter of a famous oak?
That Royal Oak wherein King Charles II hid from the Roundheads?
[Dujon] Do you know, I can't find out if there was any genetic continuity, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't... I'm going to unilaterally change your question and say yes it is a successor to a famous oak
[Raak] Not that Royal Oak, no
Merlin's Oak?
[Phil] Not Merlin's Oak
One of the Tree Council (UK)'s "Great British Trees" in 2002?
[Phil] Not a Great British Tree
In Kent?
[Phil] Not in Kent
An extant oak tree?
Does the royal aspect of the answer arise from a royal planting the acorn?
[Phil] Yes, an extant oak tree
[Dujon] Hmm... Well, the extant oak tree which is the AOTC was royally planted, but the royal connection was already there. I realise that wasn't a yes/no answer
(Although I rather expect the 'planting' was a photo opp holding a spade next to a sapling rather than heeling in an acorn)
Did the planting happen after the invention of photography?
[GL] Yes, photography had been invented. Can't find a photo though...
It's gone a bit quiet, shall I re-cap?
This Vegetable is a living oak tree, which is not itself unusually old, nor is it one of the Great British Trees. It was royally planted (although a royal connection already existed) and is neither the Royal Oak in which King Charles mk.2 hid, Merlin's Oak or in Kent.
Is it in England?
Being an ex-pat for nigh on sixty years this is becoming something of a guessing game to me. It's time to narrow the focus.
[Dujon] Yes, in jolly old England
Is it north of Watford?
[Raak] Yes, north of Watford.
South of Hadrian's Wall?
Mmm,
That was otiose, reading above.
In Yorkshire?
[Software] Yes, south of Hadrian's damp-course, and not in Yorkshire
North of London (Charing Cross, just in case)
[Phil] Yes, north of London (as implied by being north of Watford)
The Midland Oak?
[Raak] Not the Midland Oak
I'm trying to think of a clue that isn't just giving away the answer...
Selly Oak?
[Phil] Not the Selly Oak
Hidden textTry and find out who the royal is
Is the royal Queen Victoria?
[Raak] Not Queen Vic
Is the royal female?
[Phil] She is a female royal
Queen Anne?
Our current Head of State?
A British royal?
[Raak] Not Queen Anne
[GL] Yes, a British Royal
[Dujon] Yes, the oak you could visit now was planted by our current Head of State but I'm not sure how helpful that is, she must have attended many tree plantings in her time... Keep finding out who the original connection was - I reiterate, she is a female British royal who is neither Queens Victoria nor Anne.
The good old late Queen Mum?
[Software] Not the Queen Mother
QE 1?
[Raak] Yes, Queen Liz the 1th
Is there also a direct connection to QE1's sister Mary?
I think the answer must be what you find if you google "Queen Elizabeth I" and "oak", but I'm going to be away a lot in the next few weeks, so I'll leave it to someone else.
[Dujon] Yes, a connection to Queen Mary also
[Raak] You can find the answer that way, yes... Who will do so?
Queen Elizabeth Oak, at Hatfield House?
Absolutely right... you even chose the right Queen Elizabeth Oak (not the one in Cowdray Park). The current tree was planted by QE2 in 1985 on the site of the original tree, beneath which Elizabeth was sat when told that Queen Mary had died and she was now the queen.
I really didn't think I'd chosen a hard one...
I pass Phil the baton, made of exquisitely turned english oak.
Re - hard ones
[Knobbly] It happens. I remember setting Jeffrey Dahmer a few years ago, and was astonished to find no-one knew who he was. He's a household name in our family. But, thanks to Google, and Raak, I've know heard of Hatfield, its house, and its trees.

Mineral, Animal and Vegetable

Human construct?
A town or city?
Does it begin with P?
[Knobbly] Well lasted =)
[Software] Human Construct? Ummm, no, I don't think so (although I've always been rather vague about what "human construct" means).
[GL] Town or city? NEITHER
[Tuj] Pstarted? NO
Bigger than a K6 telephone box?
Is there just one?
Is either the Animal or Vegetable human?
[Software] Bigger than telephone box? YES
[Raak] Unique? YES
[GL} Human? NO
Is it in Britain?
[Raak] In Britain? YES. most definitely
A building?
[Software] A building? NO, although it includes a building or buildings
Is it a region of some description?
Some form of animal sanctuary?
[Knobbly] a region? NO
[Rosie] an animal sanctuary? NO *much laughter*
A farm, then?
[Rosie] Farm? YES, slightly surprisingly
Chalk Farm?
[GL] Chalk Farm? NO
On reflection, my answer to Is the Animal or Vegetable human? could be YES - with a little chuckle from the audience.
A non-fictional real-life farm? (...which we've heard of?)
[Knobbly] YES-ish. You will have heard of it, I expect, but you may not be aware that it functions as a farm.
A royal estate?
Belonging to the Prince of Wales?
[Dujon] Royal estate? NO *audience wakes up*
[Raak] PoW-owned? NO
Belonging to a religious institution?
[Raak] Religious? NO
Is it a tourist destination?
[Raak] Tourist destination? NO, or if it is I'd be surprised
Is this farm maintained by people detained at Her Majesty's pleasure?
[Dujon] HMP-farm? NO
Is it in England?
[Raak] In England? YES
Does anyone live there except the farmers?
[Raak] Non-farming inhabitants? YES
Privately owned?
[Raak] Privately owned? NO *some applause*
Porton Down?
[Rosie] Porton Down? NO
Is it in a National Park?
[Raak] in a National Park? NO, but it is in an AONB
Stonehenge?
[Software] Stonehenge? NO
A similar monument?
A research establishment?
[Software] Stonehengey-type-monument? NO
[Rosie] Research establishment? NO
Some clues from answers already given
"Royal estate" woke the audience up, but it's not privately owned, and not owned by Prince Charles. It includes buildings and farmland, and is in an Area of Outstanding National Beauty in England.
Longleat?
Ah ... just spotted the 'not privately owned' bit. Scrub that attempt please.
The New Forest?
[Chalky] New Forest? NO (and not Longleat either, of course)
In Cornwall?
[Rosie] Cornwall? NO
Another clue
In the Home Counties
Legoland?
Hampton Court?
Aha! NOT a tourist destination eh?
Um, the estate surrounding Hampton Court containing the piggeries and grouse shooting, where tourists never go?
[Software & Raak] Neither Legoland, nor Hampton Court. Nor the estate surrounding it.
The Chilterns?
[Chalky] The Chilterns? NO *huge applause from audience who thought it was all over, for a moment*
The Chiltern Hundreds?
[Raak] Chiltern 100s? NO *Audience apologises for over-reacting earlier, leading to the thought that "chiltern" is in the answer*
One of the nuclear places near the Kennett valley?.
Is it an SSSI?
[Rosie] One of those nuclear type things? NO
[Chalky] An SSSI? NO, but I think it includes part of one, but I can't be 100% sure.
The Ridgeway?
[Chalky] Ridgeway? NO, but the Ridgeway does pass through it. *Applause, from me for remembering where I've been recently, and from the audience too
Salisbury Plain?
So-called. Actually the very opposite.
Chequers?
... piecing together the clues
Uffington White Horse?
[Rosie] Salisbury Plain? NO
[Software] Uffington White Horse? NO (although I was there the day before I was at the AOTC, in Feb this year)
[Chalky] Chequers? YES - the estate, that is, rather than just the house that lies within. And what splendid timing for me to hand over the leadership of this fine game to you, given that we don't yet know who'll be spending their weekends there for the next five years.
We do now.

Time for an ANIMAL
Human?
A politician?
[Software] Human? NO
[Raak] A politician? NO
Is there just one?
Is it a dog?
A mammal?
Begins with P?
[Raak] Just one? NO
[GL] A dog? NO
[Rosie] A mammal? Yes
[Tuj] Begins with a P? Yes! The latin name.
Is it feline?
[GL] Feline? NO
Orang-utan?
[GL] Orang-utan? NO
Carnivoran?
Generally considered edible in Europe?
Bandicoot?
[Knobbly] Carnivoran? NO
[Phil] edible in Europe? Doubt it .. No
[GL] Bandicoot? NO
Bigger than a toaster?
Chimp?
Regarded as a pest?
Thank you for your patience ..
[Raak] Bigger than a toaster? About the same ... except for the sticky out bits
[GL] Chimp? NO
[Rosie] Regarded as a pest? I don't believe so.
Kept as a pet?
[Raak] Kept as a pet? Not usually but no reason why not ..
Nocturnal?
[Rosie] Nocturnal? YES!
Racoon?
Sloth?
[ GL] Racoon? NO
[Softers] Sloth? No ... but quite a good guess.
A badger?
A pangolin?
[Rosie] Badger? NO
[Raak] Pangolin? NO
Found in the wild in Britain?
Is it arboreal?
[Rosie] ... wild in Britain? NO
[Dujon] Arborial? YES! *audience cheers*
Is it a bird?
Civet?
[Phil] Bird? NO
[GL] Civet? NO
Is its native continent South America?
[Dujon] native of S America? NO
A Primate?
[GL] A primate? NO
Koala?
[GL] Koala? NO. Are they nocturnal?
clue: nocturnal ... arborial... nocturnal ... arborial
Is it native to China?
African Native?
[Knobbly] native to China? NO
[GL] ... or Africa? NO
A chimpanzee?
[Raak] chimpanzee? I refer the honourable gentleman to my reply above ...
nocturnal ... mammal ... nocturnal ... arborial
Hmm... does it fly? - either actually or 'falling in style'
Some lizardy thing like a chameleon?
Phalangeriforme?
[Knobbly] YesYesYesYes! Now just name it.
[Rosie] Not lizardy
[GL] phalangeriforme? Apparently no
I think it's too soon to be my turn again... *I turn my back and feign great interest in that thingummy over there*
Please please release me from this Knobbly! #thoughtitwasgoingtobeaquickie
Pteromyini?
more googling ...
[GL] Pteromyini? Veryvery close - but I believe they are omnivorous.
If somebody doesn't guess this before 0700 BST 27 May 2015 ...
Known for its winged fingers?
[Raak] winged fingers? Yes
... further investigation reveals it can be found in China, although it didn't originate there. (Apologies Knobbly)
answer
It was the Indian Flying Fox (pteropus giganteus) aka Greater Indian Fruit Bat in the Pteropodidae family.
A certain degree of exasperation
Who could possibly have guessed that? In any case all fruit bats are called Eric and come from Guildford.
[Rosie] Not me obviously, though I had a good try at guessing it.

If no one objects, I guess I'll pick up the dropped baton. You have until 10am (BST) 29th May to object
Fire away, GL.
OK. Hopefully a slightly harder one. VEGETABLE
A hard vegetable. Is it a turnip?
[Stevie] A turnip (for the books)? - No. *Someone claps briefly*
Celeriac?
Grown for consumption?
Begins with P?
[Raak] Celeriac? - No
[Rosie] Grown to be eaten? - Yes
[Tuj] Begins with P? - Yes
A parsnip?
[Rosie] Parsnip? - Yes.
Good heavens, it's me. In that case it's

ABSTRACT

An Emotion?
(GL) I am disconsolately sad to tell you that it is not.
Weather-related?
Begins with P?
(Raak) Nothing to do with the weather
(Tuj) Begins with P? NO (but it could do).
Phrase or saying?
Is the answer on the card a single word?
(Sofware) Not a phrase or saying.
(Tuj) Single word? YES (plus the indefinite article).
Would it exist without humans?
(Knobbly) Exist without humans? YES.
Is it an action?
(Tuj) Not an action.
Is the indefinite article "an"?
A phenomenon ?
(GL) The indefinite article? NOT "An".
(Software) A phenomenon? NO, not really.
Would it exist without lifeforms?
(Tuj) Exist without lifeforms? YES, it could.
A sound?
(GL) A sound? YES. *audience erupts*
Is it onomatopoeic?
Is this a useful question?
(Knobbly) Unlike a cat, does not on a mat appear. (Shurely all questions are useful).
Whispering?
to kick start this one again
(Software) NO, not whispering.
Is it geological?
A tree falling in the forest?
(Knobbly) Geological? NO.
(Softers) The unseen and unheard tree? NO.

In a desperate bid to do something about the terrifying speed of this one I could mention that the AOTC is connected with an interest of mine, but not steam locos.

Lost for words
Not weather or locos? What does that leave, then? Sex? Beer?
Flattered
(Software) We have met, haven't we?
The sound made by the opening of a can of London Pride?
Oh, yes.
<mode="Lady Bracknell"> A CAN? </mode>. Not the sound suggested.
Oh, all right - a bottle then?
(Software) Not a bottle. Nothing to do with booze.
Astronomy related?
Just popping by.
(Boolbar) Stargazing? NO.
Is it associated with music?
(Robin) Music? YESSSSS! *audience, previously comatose, now resembles a football crowd whose side has just scored.*
A Flat?
(GL) Not A flat, not G sharp either.
F Natural?
(GL) Not F. (Not a Key).
A wind chime?
(Softers) NO, not a wind chime.
a rhythm?
(Knobbly) NO - not a rhythm. A different aspect of music.
If I may sum up, some
So, an aspect of music which, moreover, would exist without life-forms... Beginning with a consonant which isn't P (but confusingly could be)
Molto adagio
(Knobbly) Orl krekt.
The blistering pace of this one
It's a musical term, found also in ordinary speech.
Is the AOTC an italian term?
Is there anybody else out there?
(Knobbly) Italian? YES, it certainly is.
Piano?
(Softers) Piano? NO.
Fortisomo?
(Softers) ff? NO, but you're getting there.
Allegro?
Not the Leyalnd version - oh, no.
(Softers) Allegro? NO. The AOTC is not an adjective.
Presto?
(Softers) Even faster? NO. Presto is an adjective. I dunno - man of your calibre.
Intermezzo?
(Knobbly) Not an intermezzo. The AOTC is usually abbreviated.
Ah, in that case is the abbreviation 'cresc.'?
YAY, it be that. Say it again, louder. KNOBBLY is the winner. Take this conductor's baton and whack it on the music stand louder and louder until everyone else has woken up.
Actually I was trying not to win by not giving the AOTC, but since you've given me this baton I may as well wave it about a bit...
OK, this is hopefully an easy MINERAL.
Metal?
(Rosie) Not a metal
A manufactured object?
Solid?
(Rosie) Not manufactured
(GL) Solid, YES.
Something dug up from the earth?
What's mined is yours...
(Rosie) No, not dug up.
Found lying around?
(Software) Lying around? I'm going to go with no... Although I'm not sure how helpful or right that is
Does it come from space?
Is it unique?
(Raak) Extra-terrestrial? No
(Gussy[if I may call you that]) The one-and-only? YES (or at least, the AOTC is specific)
A lake?
A geographical feature?
(Rosie) No, not a lake but...
(Software) YES, a geographical feature
Bigger than the Isle of Wight?
Smaller than the Isle of Wight?
An area of sea-water?
Ayres Rock?
(Raak & GL) Smaller than IoW in area, which was surprisingly hard to find out. Strangely couldn't find it anywhere and had to work it out myself.
(Rosie) Not sea-water
(Software) Not Ayer's Rock
In the Northern hemisphere?
(Tuj) Not Northern hemisphere, no
Zambesi Falls?
A Mountain?
[Rosie] I don't believe the falls or an area of sea water would count as solid.
(Rosie) Zambezi Falls? No
(GL) YES, a mountain *applause*
Higher than 20,000 ft (6096 m)?
Everest?
(Rosie) Not higher than 20,000 ft
(GL)Not Everest
Shorter than 1,000 ft?
Kilimanjaro?
Lurkers R Us
(GL) Not shorter than 1,000ft
(CdM) Not Kilimanjaro
In Africa?
(Rosie) Not African
Vinson Massif?
A volcano?
(GL)Vinson Massif- Is he? I mean, no
(Rosie) A volcano? YES. *Audience erupts...*
Near the equator?
Etna?
(Rosie) Not near the equator (for any sensible value of 'near')
(Software) Not Etna
Calbuco, Chile?
(Rosie) Not Calbuco
Erupted in the last 100 years?
(Raak) YES, erupted in last 100 years
Puyehue-Cordón Caulle?
(GL) Puy-what-you-said - no
On a small island?
(Rosie) I wouldn't call it a small island, no.
Mt Erebus?
(Rosie) Not Mt Erebus
Erupted in 1956?
(Raak) 1956 eruption? Not as far as I can find out
In Antarctica?
(Rosie) Not in Antarctica
in the Philippines?
(CdM) Not in the Philippines neither
All right. How about Indonesia?
(CdM) No, but keep going...
One week later round up...
So, it's a volcano in the Southern hemisphere, between 1,000 and 20,000 ft high which isn't near the equator, in Antarctica, the Phillipines or Indonesia. It has erupted in the last 100 years, but not in 1956. It also isn't Mt Erebus or Puyehue-Cordón Caulle...
Did it erupt this century?
Did it cause much death and destruction?
(GL) Erupted this century? YES. (Rosie) Much death and destruction? I'm not sure what the standardised scale of death and destruction is, but I would say no.
In Chile?
(Rosie) Not in Chile.
Caribbean?
(SW) Not Caribbean.
Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean on an island that isn't particularly small?
(CdM) On a not-small island in the Pacific? YES.
I wonder if anyone will disagree with any of my previous answers when the answer is reached?
Mt Ruapehu? Or failing that, another Kiwi volcano like Tongarairo or White Island?
(Pablo) Mt Ruapehu? Why, YES. *Wild applause*
Let us rub noses ... Thank you.
Passing the baton to Pablo.
Pablo seems to have buggered orff.
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