mc5 - So the Danish guy dies

Well, we've all seen those promising trailers that make the worst films seem like the next Oscar winner - how about writing a description that makes a classic sound absolutely dire? e.g. So there's this teenager and he hates his mother and his stepdad and there's loads of drugs and gore and they all die. Only better, hopefully. And without Mel Gibson.

Anna and the King

Like the above movie, but without Yul Brynner, or any songs to take your mind off the fact that the King of Siam has hair.

Shaun of the Dead

The British are largely zombies for a while and the rest of them aren't and need to run away from them and/or hit them with sticks to avoid becoming a finger buffet. The affliction isn't explained, but looks gross. If you've never seen a man be pulled apart, whilst still alive, before your very eyes, why, now's your chance!

Speed

A disaster movie set on public transport.

Grease

Movie musical in which a young woman spends entire story steadfastly refusing to give into sexist pressures, and then does. Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta both star in skin-tight black clothing.

Breadmaster

The Ladykillers (the original)

Alec Guinness and company fail to kill somebody.