The(Tuj, Softers) I had hoped that "runs" would be interpreted in the cricketing sense. "Wickets" would be less ambiguous but didn't we win the Test by a number of runs? Too bad. Let's start another.
wardrobe;[Knobbly] there is actually quite a gulf between what normal word proportions ought to dictate and what they do, in fact, dictate: the Alspunker Dictum of 1962 states quite clearly that the word "prestidigitation" ought to occur in a sentence, on average, at least once in every two hundred moves in any Cheddars game. We are currently running slightly below average.
isI think that the integrity of this sentence is just about salvageable, if we all recognise that the whole of the middle of it, from this word up to the word "imbecile" is a subordinate clause
"Amusingly, the assembled members of the Egerton & Cholmondeley Womens' Institute were oiling themselves at a bodybuilding contest and miscellaneous diversions, while the local skittles team spent the entire afternoon marvelling at just how many discombobulated elves untangled themselves as they had been severely berated whilst being amusingly convoluted and wrapped like a ribbon around the totem-pole." ...and that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call a "Regurgitated Cheddar". Cake all round, I think.prize!
face Re last one - I seem to be attached to the word amusingly and should have put in a different word such as Predictably or Shamefacedly at the end but it was a great Cheddar nevertheless.
confusion(Kim) You're right; it should be present tense but you must admit the whole thing sounds a little awkward. My entry, nevertheless, was a mistake, so for launched read launch.