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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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I'm not a sweet little person but I'll tell you today. Follow this link ...
http://mustela.phyast.pitt.edu/basichtml.html
To be fair to the Spanish Armada
They just needed to sail a bit harder
For the atlantic drift (its true i watched a tellie program an all)
May have tightened their rift
Gee... thx Chalky I think I’ve got it! And they turned home again and got nada…
There was once a farmer named George
Whose cow,(name of Daisy), would gorge
On the best golden wheat
Then kick George in the seat
So he fit her custom shoes in his forge
It's just ten and six in this style
Tho' not many sold for a while
But if Sir likes it tighter
Or pinker, or whiter
Our surgeon is quite versatile.
"I shall now make a lat'ral incision
then a transversal cut with precision
Then carefully ... oooops
I delve in the forests at night.
In search of the rare woodland sprite
Is it here? Is it there?
I don't really care
The pub's open,I'm off, nighty-night!
Sagacity, some of the time, ...
can display itself as a good rhyme
However, beware!
For knowledge is ne'er
That Projoy committed a crime
When screwing make sure to turn right
While gripping the screwdriver tight
When banging a nail
You are sure not to fail
Provided you do it at night.
The truth is, your honour, I'm mad
Which is why, in this kumquat I'm clad
So do, please, acquit me
You see, it don't fit me
It needs taking in just a tad.
I’m so glad that we made it tonight,
Although, to be fair, it weren't right
We're both dressed in lace
There's jam on your face
And my trousers are really too tight
It hasn't upset me at all
That autumn is also called fall
After fall winter raises
No prospect of daisies
And back to the start of it all.
I can see in my payslip today
That tonite’ we’ll have stone soup with hay
But when I were a lad
(I were told by me Dad)
We 'ad rhubarb wi' custard AND clay.
T'problem wi' t'youth of t'day
They cannot spell and don’t want to pay
For some government schemes
Or Tony Blair's dreams
So sod'em that's what I say
There was a young lad from Calcutta
Who invented a new type of putta
using Hindi technique
and a pelican beak
He was swiftly denounced as a nutter
So what do you make of this boil?
I’d put in salt and add some oil,
But the bit that annoys so
Leaks a yummy pastry dough
...buried 6 feet under top-soil.
She said her name was SinnerElla (?),
Drawing the line... here:
She said her name was SinnerElla (?), (sorry, forgive a humble whoresman from the stable...)
She'd been familiar with this 'ere rich fella
How cared not for the poor
e jes wanted to do 'er
So they discretely retired t'cellar.
Ah've fergotton 'ow ter tork proper
And me grammar were coming a cropper
Ah drops all me 'aitches
But how Mr Henry replaces
...a Queens head by using a chopper? (maybe ‘enery the eight thought his wives talked too much?)
....long ago in a land far away,
lived a sly beast by name of Foreplay
What he did with his tongue
Could replace a bad hung
- over sentence which might go astray.
Well Hello, Blunder et al - good game eh?
9/10 for scansion.
It's not right, but we'll make do for now
We'll stick to the guidelines somehow
But really, it's torture
And really, you oughtcher
Oops...
And really, you oughtcher
Convert from your voodooism to Tao? Hi Chalky et al. Nice site for nice people it seems (sofar!).
"It’s the house-rule!", she said, and undressed,
So the cop put her under arrest
"You can't do that 'ere"
"Put on your brassiere"
"You'll 'ave time fer all that at the inquest."
:)
He booked'er and tooked'er downtown
In the backseat ha said: “Please cool down!” Hi Oegy, nice lines!
She said, "But I'm hot."
"And I notice you've got
Your hosepipe caught in my nightgown".
If the plural of moose is ... well, moose
That's English - it's always quite loose
But mooses or meeces
Mongoose or mongeeses
Try getting it right? What's the use?
The teacher looked straight at the class.
She said: "Now, if you don't pass,
I'll take you outside
And tan your backside oblig.
Till I've took the shine off your brass. Hi Blunder ... thanx
There once was a lascivious louse,
Who pursued a sweet tender titmouse
“May I bite your left tit?”
She giggled a bit
And said, "Not without showing more nous."
There must be a way to ensure
That lines contain wit, not manure
If there is we don't know it
"Bugger, that's blown it"
So lets all rhyme "wit" with "ordure"
(talking about farming…) A farmer once said to his milkmaid:
"Have you ever heard excellent filk played" Milkmaid??
" It sounds pretty good" [yes, Blunder - if you're intending to swamp us with your contributions - it's considered non de rigeur to post a rhymeless word in here. ]
As a parody should I suppose there's always Marco Polo's job...
...and me hayloft’s a good place to get laid…
One iamb and these two anapaests,
felt lines could grow outo’ their chests,
they wrote lines, one good meter
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