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Liff? Don't talk to me about Liff!
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An old favourite from the Douglas Adams stable, well-known to anyone familiar with Pants MC. The game of giving dictionary definitions to place names. Please define the place provided by the previous player, and then post one of your own.
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Medical slang, used to keep the patient in the dark, for ointment applied to the rear end. ("Aber" being German for "but", geddit?)

Uist

Estuary English contraction for "You Are"

Truro
The line in a newspaper column that makes the conjecture of the rest of the article seem to be fact.

Swarraton

The particular species of mangled curse words uttered when a very heavy weight lands on a sensitive part and you are too angry to even swear properly.

Clatskanie

If you are knitting, and manage to drop both needles at once in such a way that they drop most or all of the stitches, as a consequence of which the item you are knitting immediately becomes unravelled into several long strings of thread and forces you to start again from the beginning, you are said to have committed a "clatskanie".

Kirkuk

The Russian name for the polo mint, as polo means something rather rude in Russian.

Shifnal
The way a perfectly innocent person looks when taking part in a police identity parade.

Culbokie

A small bird not unlike a sparrow, but with the ant-like ability to lift a hundred times its own body weight. It is not known how this is accomplished, but it is used by the bird to make secure mountain nesting sites burrowing into a hillside then placing a huge boulder in front of the hole.

The creature is becoming a pest since it started to make nests in multistorey car parks which closely resemble its mountain home in bleakness and the availability of boulders (also known as "cars").

Killarney

Californian liberal's view of Schwarzenegger.

Andover

Modesty.

Woolloomooloo

Combined sheep and cattle toilets

Witheridge
The effects brought about by extreme cold/alcohol/age (delete as applicable, unless you are an old Scottish drunk) on the "gentlemans's trouser department".

Goonhilly
The madness of the long-distance walker.

Vladivostok

The reason that your car won't start and needs spending £300 to get it running again.

Langwathby

auld scots/golf: a par 5 over 560 yards on a links course.

Eglwswrw

Either
1. The only sound one is capable of the morning after a night clubbing.
2. The noise generated by a small child when confronted by Brussels sprouts.

Canewdon
A secluded place by the bank of a river in the grounds of a Canadian university where elderly faculty go for nude sunbathing.

Sligo

Shorthand domestic phrase, as in "that's the front door - sligo, or will you?"

Stoke Mandeville

A free sample offered by a drug dealer to a new client. (Basically meaning 'It's grass - on the house, man').

Shetland

Old Scottish. Being in that state of badly needing a poo but having nowhere suitable to do the deed.

Durham
Boiled ham that has started to turn a bright green colour

Portmulgrave

A formerly thriving coastal town which no longer has any reason to exist, having no significant trade, natural resources, historical remains, or scenic vistas, nor being on the way to anywhere else. The East Anglian coast contains many portmulgraves.

Auchtermuchtie

The traditional cry of someone whose hot teacup has overflowed while they were holding it.

Langwathby

An extra long napkin used on the laps of those who are prone to Auchtermucties.

Wauna

Like a sauna, but lukewarm and with considerably less steam. Generally used when it isn't cold enough to snow outside, either. Believed to be a peculiarly British invention. Angmagssalik
The unintelligable sounds made when you suddenly discover that the drink you've just had was a lot stronger than expected

Totford

Unable to pay bills, due to excessive procreation in recent years.

Egremont

A euphemistic catchphrase-type word for shit.

Pimlico

Posh alcholic ice-cream product.

Knokke-Heist
(German) A description for the *polite* type of bank job. The kind that DOESN'T blow the bloody doors off.

Brisbane

A cocktail of laxative products designed to clear out the most stubborn of bowels.....Also the slang term used for an out of work Bristish ex-pat forced to survive via the Australian social security system!
Sandbach
A quantity of builder's materials

Exeter
What was once a word meaning to dissuade the user from employing the letter 'd'. (Come on, think about it...) Pickering
Sorry, still getting used to this...
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