A butter-like substance made from rats, used as a skin conditioner, lamp oil, bearing grease, moustache wax, or eaten as butter spread on crisped rat skins.

Omsk

Omsk is the fighting stance adopted by 2 Bull Elephant Seals before doing battle. Also the slang for the pose adopted by Tina Turner before launching inot a rendition of "Simply the best"

Earby

A rare stinging insect that makes it's home inside the aural canal of larger animals. Generally only detected as a quiet buzzing.

Moscow

Resentful at the existence of people who are younger, happier, and wealthier than you will ever be.

Minsk

The pinching sensation in a delicate location caused by a pair of stretch underpants which fitted perfectly when bought but which, ten years and twenty pounds later, are now at the limit of their elasticity.

Frimley

That piece of a sticky price tag that simply cannot be removed from a purchase when you are trying to wrap it as a present for someone.

Crudwell

An oil rig.

La Rochelle

The stage name of a female wrestler (lit. "The Rock-ess") who performed in the Paris vaudeville at the turn of the last century.

Portumna

The slight hesitation before saying "Yes" to another glass of port, composed in varying parts of politeness, greed, embarrassment, and fear of being pulled over by the police on the way home.

Denio

Material for making bootleg designer jeans (Kevin Klein etc)

Newport Pagnell

The aftertaste that comes from drinking fortified wine before it's properly matured

Basingstoke

That inexplicable feeling of utter desolation and loneliness.

Sherston

An intense sensation of memetic isolation or disconnectedness provoked by the realisation that everyone has been playing a game, singing a song, or dancing a dance which you have been entirely unaware of.

Clackamas

That sort of pinky-grey meat with little nodules of gristle in found in Happy Shopper sausages and cheap burgers, the origin of which is, at best, dubious. Hindlip

A deformity of the rectal sphincter.

Clashfern

A violent dispute between Polypodiopsidae

Strood

To walk in a vulgar or suggestive manner.

Totnes

Garstang (n.) A rare throat complaint, occurring the minute one tries to articulate something important (such as a marriage proposal, job application, or complaint to the manager of a shop), which mysteriously clears up immediately upon leaving the presence of the person you were trying to talk to.

Abergele

Medical slang, used to keep the patient in the dark, for ointment applied to the rear end. ("Aber" being German for "but", geddit?)

Uist

Estuary English contraction for "You Are"

Truro

The line in a newspaper column that makes the conjecture of the rest of the article seem to be fact.

Swarraton

The particular species of mangled curse words uttered when a very heavy weight lands on a sensitive part and you are too angry to even swear properly.

Clatskanie

If you are knitting, and manage to drop both needles at once in such a way that they drop most or all of the stitches, as a consequence of which the item you are knitting immediately becomes unravelled into several long strings of thread and forces you to start again from the beginning, you are said to have committed a "clatskanie".

Kirkuk