mc5 - Conversation ƒtoppers

In the words of Dunx: "I suppose it's a long way off yet, but listening to this week's ISIHAC I liked the game of "Opening Lines" where the players would provide a line guaranteed to end the conversation with famous personages. Eg - "So, Mr Bush - is English your first language?" "Table for Mr Stringfellow and his granddaughter!" To Rod Hull - "Where's your emu?" Well, it made me laugh a lot anyway."

Deek

Happy Birthday, Britney, I've bought you some singing lessons.

Darren

Any of those Big Brother wastes-of-carbon: So, have you been anywhere nice lately?

Breadmaster

George Best - "Double G&T then, George? Come on, yer great girl's blouse!"

Kim

Jonathan Ross - "Here's the guest list for tonight's show, Jonathan: Actress Deborah Raffin, tennis ace Greg Ruzedski, Screen Legend Theresa Russell and music by rock & roll legends Radiohead".

widey

In very very poor taste.......... So Mr Hitler which do you prefer cooking with, gas or electric?......................

Tracey Emin: "I hope you've made your bed!"

Leonardo to Mona Lisa: "...and wipe that smile off your face!"

John Constable: "Tell me, why did you call that bloke in the cart 'Wayne?'"

Nero: "My God! I thought you'd stood on the cat while trying to escape from the blaze!"

Rosie

Andrew Lloyd-Webber: "Of course, the great days of the Musical were just after the War."

Dujon

Neville Chamberlain - "Are you still collecting autographs?"

Falstaff

Orenthal J. Simpson: "... say, you remind me of my late wife."

Clamp

" Mr. Hussein, as your lawyers we will soon have you out of this hole."

Rosie

Oscar Wilde: - "Reading, eh? That's a bummer".

Jeffrey Archer: "Pass the soap".

Inkspot

Tony Blair "You remember Captain Scarlett don't you?...you know, da da da da, da da dee da Captain Scarlett indestructible..."

Deek

Lester Piggot - "Hi, I work for the Inland Revenue."

Raak

"John Paul, is the Pope really a Catholic?"

Breadmaster

Or alternatively - "So where are George and Ringo, eh?"