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Code Breakers' Crescent
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We will play standard rules on a map where the names have been replaced with random english words. (eg. Goodge Street is now Hedge). To make things easy we will use the example map on page 23 of the 1957 MC annual.
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Baboon and picking up a cherry red Cerite podume.
Which, since the Players soundalikes cascade seems to have been broken, allows me to play Rubidium.
Guest, out staying my welcome
Tangerine
Granny Smith, declaring fruit loop
To which, of course, the only possible answer is Grapefruit.
Staying underground with Carrot oblig.
And forcing me into Bottom double oblig.
Which lets me return neatly to Constipation
How on earth did we manage to avoid a Carrot/Grapefruit/Bottom loop? That must be a first. Anyway, Traipse depositing a leather token.
Schism
Guest with a blue token on Suitcase. [UK] Splitter!
Bottom again, sorry.
I'm escaping your devious Bottom with Lubricant. And immediately wishing I hadn't read back what I've just typed.
Acre Street, and I wish I hadn't read back what Darren tyed either...
All hail Darren, and his ability to tye things! And what a 'gignatic' talent it is too... nnnnnnng!
Half-moon
Asymptotic again.
Pear
Still at Guest but they seem to want rid of me.
Shunt of Gusset Login to Overstayed. Main move to Homer Simpson.
Storm
Puddle closing all cupboards
which should allow me to capture Wet Wipes and declare fastidiousness
Erk! Blue-tit, claiming peanuts.
Security Blanket, wrestin Peanuts in my own direction.
Salted with green tokens on Peanuts.
Wages recieving Peanuts after much effort.
Moving peanuts to Lard - Frying invoked.
Watch it, this is getting dangerously close to Cress, and we all know what *that* means. So, a defensive Quasar.
Antimacassar
Saucepan, raising my LV by 0.002
Poll Tax inviting freemasonry
Wages again, but no peanuts.
Hedge complying with the Nash Convention
Back to Moist then. Increasing seventeen to cobweb.
Haeccity
In that case, I'm going back to Aaaaaaaargh! and shunting you all to 14,384,443.23 Years.
Invoking past tense with slept to initiate a reverse block.
North Gherkin, blocking the Slimm Line.
Tolpuddle straddle to Gherkin Gardens partially reopening the Slimm Line (south of Constipation)
Adding Beef & Breadbap to force all Gherkins into Burger.
(Hehehe, I'd really like to see this map, I never got a '57 annual... do have rare 1913 and 1922 ones thouhg...) Nipple Creep, gherkin to Hedge.
I fear Nipple Creep will force me to go Moist like Boolbar.
I fear Nipple Creep will force me to go Moist like Boolbar.
No idea what happened there...
I guess that leaves an opening to Bush. [Tuj] I had no idea you were playing blind.
Vigourously Toweling myself down.
Match, burning both Bush and Toweling.
A pre-emptive play to Cress.
Gusset Login] I saw one once, and can roughly remember the outline of it... the more moves, the more powerful I am MUAHAHA
Oh dear, excuse me! Compass South, invoking gherkin embago.
Custom Pants (for ExDirectory)
Wank (forced).
That allows me to whizz down the blue diagonal to Scooby-Doo.
In that case, Homer Simpson again. I get the feeling we're not actually going anywhere.
Well, not if we carry on like that. Honestly, you're playing like an amateur. Hopefully Marge will set us up for a Butter Reversal.
[Flix] Butter-side down, I'm afraid. Dripping, but I warn you, it's softening rapidly.
Nipple Creep obviously.
Going round the back way to Clench
Avoiding any unpleasantness by going to Bolt and closing all stable doors.
I think Oats would be good here.
Bifurcating shamelessly to Oats / Chekhov, and wondering how many stations we've named so far, as I have no map...
[Tuj] The problem is that we've spilled over into street names and I'm fairly certain "Marge" is in Reading. Slept/Aaaaaaaargh!
Lard / Wet Wipes - could this be the start of the end?
Boatswain/puppy - let all just hope its not the end of the start!
Moist/Laser Display Board - I think I've lost the map, can anyone remember what Mornington Crescent was renamed to?
Sven / Samantha [all] I'm sorry, I haven't a clue.
Ronnie/Barker I think we need to reunify before we end this.
Ronnie/Corbett No need. This game can go on forever.
Reunifying at The Two Ronnies.
A rather self-referential move to Code Breakers' Crescent.
That leaves an opening to Porridge on a diagonal.
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for all*
I thought Porridge was Kentish Town, clearly I don't use the tube often enough. Which one was Kentish Town?
[all] According to my copy of the map, it was Dripping, easily confused with Porridge. However it was still a valid (and worthy) winning move. Congrats!

Exercise for the Reader
If you have a spare evening or two, why not try drawing the map we used to play this game? Fun for all the family! (I, the task-setter, would do this myself, but I can't be bothered.)

[Darren] is it OK if I just copy it out of the 1957 annual? [all] Good win.
[Gusset Login] Yes, but you must post it here.
Darren] Ye gods, I am that sad and lonely and twisted, I may just summon up my non-existent artistic talents to combine with my boundless enthusiasm to do that. Just as vengeance for someone winning while I was abroad, you understand.
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord