"And this week, we look at the ideal way for busy city folk to manage a garden: pave the whole thing over."

Farming Today

"...sponsored by Monsanto."

Robot Wars

Now I look down the harbor. All manner of boats, overloaded with fleeing population, pulling out from docks.

Streets are all jammed. Noise in crowds like New Year's Eve in city. Wait a minute... The... the enemy is now in sight above the Palisades. Five — five great machines. First one is crossing the river. I can see it from here, wading... wading the Hudson like a man wading through a brook...

Now the first machine reaches the shore. He stands watching, looking over the city. His steel, cowlish head is even with the skyscrapers. He waits for the others. They rise like a line of new towers on the city's west side...

Now they're lifting their metal hands. This is the end now. Smoke comes out... black smoke, drifting over the city. People in the streets see it now. They're running towards the East River... thousands of them, dropping in like rats.

Now the smoke's spreading faster. It's reached Times Square. People are trying to run away from it, but it's no use. They're falling like flies.

Now the smoke's crossing Sixth Avenue... Fifth Avenue... a... a hundred yards away... it's fifty feet...


The West Wing

Duck, here comes Bush and Condalisa.

Z-Cars

We've had to give it a mersey killing.

Monty Python's Flying Circus. All right, sacrilege. Do your worst.

s'tI

Spooks

"Who you gonna call?"

The Royle Family

"You know, Jim, you could get a job doing adverts for British Gas."

The Vicar of Dibley

"THERE IS NO GOD!!!"

Big Brother

"This season's participants are a crack dealer, a child prostitute, a military interrogator, an Enron executive, a captured suicide bomber, a Grey alien, an escapee from a high-security psychiatric prison, and a few brain-damaged drug addicts. And one of them is a serial killer! Guess which one as the body count rises week by week!"

Through The Night (which may not be well known to many readers: it runs on Radio 3 from sometime after midnight)

"Good Morning"

The Good Life

"Good gracious, Tom! Whatever are you doing with those potatoes?" "Human manure, Barbara!"

The Young Ones

"Hey! Rick! Come and have a go on this quad bike!"

Dead Ringers