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50 Ways To....
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This was Kevan's idea (see MCiOS chat room). It's based on the song "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" ("You just slip out the back, Jack; Make a new plan, Stan....") Well, there have to be 50 ways to do other tasks, right? So, off we jolly well go, Joe!
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50 Ways To Fail A Job Interview

1. Light a cigarette, Bette.

2. Pick yer nose and flick, Mick.
Smell your own fart, Bart.And set yourself free.
3 Say you're an alcoholic, Rick.
Wear a daft hat, pat. [Kim] I've just seen yours: very good!
5.Wee in the hand basin, Jason.
6. Offer 'em sex, Rex.
7. Get out your cock, Jock.
8.Slap 'em in the face, Eustace. And get yourself free. visual rhyme declared
9. Offer them a bribe, Clive.
10. Look deeply bored, Maud
11. Tell them they're fools, Jules
12. Dance around in the nude, Jude.
13Whip out your knob, Bob.
14. Admit you wet the bed, Fred.
15. Ensure your handshake is clammy, Tammy.
16. Fall asleep halfway through, Lou.
17. Interview them, Jem.
18. And do condescend, friend.
19. Don't rock the ship, Pip.
20. Handwrite your vita, Rita.
21Have a w*nk Frank
22.Tell 'em you shagged their mom, Tom. Americanisation invoked.
23. Ask about the sick pay, Jay
24. Wipe your nose on your sleeve, Steve.
25Turn up a day late, Kate.

26 Take a mobile 'phone call, Paul

27 Have spinach in your teeth, Keith.

28 Soil your pants, Hans Sorry, only just discovered this excellent game.

29. Feign a nervous twitch, Rich.
30. Mention that your chief leisure interest is fellatio, Horatio.
31. Dress as a pike, Mike.

32. Play with your gender, Brenda.

33. Tell them that you like playing online games, James.
34. Keep shouting "Wibble" and starting to dribble, Sybil
35. Wear a fluorescent shirt, Bert.
36. Dress as Peter Pan, Dan.
37. Pretend that you're Italian, Ian.
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