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Electric sock treatment
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C'mon, let the dog see the rabbi...
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Sifts are ok but I prefer a wallow.
Many birds find the staring intimidatory.
I am told that wet highland terriers are good for water bird hunting.
But not as much fun as a bent goose.
Female plumbers should know all about bust pipes.
...and all cocks.
I see that industrial action is planned for the railways. If there's a trike, I'll get on my bike.
I see also that the massacre in Iraq was apparently the result of a "selling error". How aposite.
A little more literacy among politicians would have spared us both Word Wars.
But would it have saved Pear Harbor from the surprise bobing?
I saw the Sydney Harbour hydro-oil ferry the other day. It's a very slick piece of engineering.
Whilst driving around I came across a new golf course. It's a most unusual layout with far more tees than you would normally expect.
I prefer the Spanish curses - the ones with a decent nineteenth ole.
Like pilots, golfers should keep to the airways.
I stopped going to my local course - too many roughs and lags.
Mind you, when I resigned, the Club Professional (he's the one who gives lessons and should know about these things) said he was sorry to see me go as I was a right hit at the game.
On my local course, I often dive straight into the water.
Golf is a good walk soiled.
Wasn't it Oscar Wide who said that?
It's at the ninteenth that you see all the best sots.
For my tee shot at this Par 5, I use a tree wood.
But, for a flat lie, the best club is an even iron.
For bunkers, I have a sad edge.
Confronted by a family of wild ears on the course? Just grab the first cub you can.
A number of heavy lorries have crashed through the polar ice, joining others at the bottom of the Artic Ocean.
A friend of mine just bought himself an articulate vehicle. He tells me that (unfortunately for him) its performance is pure rap.
I drive a large lorry delivering photocopier and laser printer parts - it's a 48 toner.
I remember the days when all we had was lie printers.
That was when Ford used to punch cars to record their stock
It's surprising how much heat is generated when you bake hard. Last 4 - top stuff. :-)
I think I'd like a job as one of those rash test dummies.
Most cars end up in a crap yard.
When driving onto a ferry always remember to fasten your sea belts.
I like those ferries where you drive on at one end and dive off the other.
I committed a dreadful crime in Cornwall so I had to stay in Penance.
Ah, one of the in-crowd, Rosie?
I heard there was a sad accident at Lad's End.
Some of Cornwall's ancient ruins are being made more customer-friendly, for example Tesco Abbey.
I was near Cornwall recently. I spent some time in Plymouth, but sadly didn't have time to get over the Tamar bride.
I've made a couple of visits to the Silly Isles in my time.
I was up in Morcambe one spring a few years back. To warn visitors to the area of the perils of the sands there was a large sign reading "Beware the Ides of March".
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