Prithee abase y'rselves before Mr & Mrs Shopsopentoday and their son Arthur.

Here come Mr & Mrs Nut and their beautiful daughter Hazel

followed by Mr Arron spelling and his friend Miss take (c above oops!)

Put your hands together for Mr and Mrs Allover and their unfestive daughter Gladys.

Here comes Ho Chi Minh, with his less well-known brother, Ho Gma Nay.

Please give a hearty cheer for the multi-national cast of 'The Twelve Days Of Christmas Pantomime' who have arrived hotfoot from their last night [accompanied by drumming drummers and piping pipers] ... so it's Hello to Leigh Pinglords, Lady Stancing, Maisie Milking, from Spain - Juan Zaswimming, from France - Guy Selaigne, from Israel - Golde Rings, not forgetting Colin Birds, Fran Chens, Curt Elldoves and last but not least, Pa Tridgeinapeartree.

A small Irish boy Tom O'lata is looking for his father. Could his dad, Chip O'lata come to the lost children's desk please.