You will feel hungry at some point in the day and this may be accompanied by thirst for liquid refreshment. Around midnight you will feel sleepy. You may see a cat. Beware of fast moving vehicles, especially when you are on foot. There will be darkness.

There will be no hurricanes today.

The values of shares can go up as well as down. A loan secured on your property will put it at risk should you default. There are other listings magazines. Remember - children and small animals can choke on nuts. Plastic bags are not to be worn. Batteries are not included.

You are the most sought-after station on the Underground, but although many are called, few are chosen to penetrate your mystery. Concealed behind cross-striles, hidden by half-blonks, bypassed by baulking, all who hear of you are driven to take up the quest, yet at once find themselves farther away than when they started. Only on Saturday 28, will a few of the elect reach their goal.

You will erm.. and then er... but maybe not.

Same as usual, no use denying it.

History will repeat itself.

We inadvertently printed today's forecast yesterday. Here is today's correct version. Ed.
Same as usual, no denying it. For those of you already in a relationship, history will repeat itself.

 

You will discover that your father is not your father, but merely another impersonator of "Mr. Jones", and that Centre is actually under the control of an even more secret organisation called Al-Khidr, with suggestions of connections to aliens, superpowered humans, or God. You will prevent the Pope being assassinated, but uncover evidence suggesting that the assassins are the good guys. Then you will have breakfast, during which Mik Schtoppel will knock on your door again, apparently on the run from Centre, but he will not be what he seems. You will see a hallucination of Michael's face, and hear voices that you eventually track down to a communication device embedded in your skull. You will have a mysterious conversation with a stranger who claims to have once worked for Section but escaped the system entirely, and tells you that "Mr. Jones" used to be known as "Number 2". He will silently slip away in the middle of your conversation, leaving the words "Be seeing you" hanging in the air.

Your star chart terminates abruptly today in what appears to be decapitation on a railway line. According to the theory of predestination that underlies astrology, you cannot escape this fate, meaning that even if you stay indoors for the whole day, or are in the middle of nowhere, an express train will come and seek you out. Avoid blue accessories.

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