[Rosie] Yes. The audience wake up. [Raak] Yes. Some claps breaks out in the audience. [Simons Mith] No sitableupon, at least not in intended use. [Tuj] Yes! Audience claps vigorously.
[e.g. the disgraceful lack of toad in the toad in the hole, the misleading provenance (and lack of pork content) of so-called Hamburgers etc. Don't even get me started on Rocky Mountain oysters.]
[Radox the Green] Not soup. [Simons Mith] After reference to Mycroft, the answer is "No". [Boolbar] Yes! Spontaneous hoots break out. [Tuj] Yes, it could have been enjoyed by Napoleon, and may well have been. More muted applause is heard as the audience try and work this out. [Raak] Yes you can eat it in a restaurant, as long as it's on the menu. Some shouts from the audience. [Chalky] Doesn't have to be kept cool, but Raak's restaurant probably does store it there. Audience is generally approving.
[Rosie] Yes! whoops and hollers. A small protest by two Vegans based on a mistranslation starts in a corner. [Simons Mith] Mycroft says NO. [CdM] Not, it's fresh. [Raak] Yes! Swine it is. Applause and such.
Hidden textHomer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal. Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
[Rosie] Yes! It is most commonly found on a plate and eaten with knife and fork. [Raak] No. Attention is drifting, some of the audience are arguing about the relative merits of jerked beef and jerked pork. [Radox the Green] Not sweet and sour pork. Audience restive.
[Simons Mith] Good suggestion, but not quite what is the AOTC. The audience are appreciative. [Rosie] That's even better than the previous. But it's not the AOTC. Audience holds its breath. [Raak] No, not salami. Some disgusted looks from the epicureans in the audience. [Chalky] No, nobody has suggested "sausage" yet. (And if I were you, I wouldn't). [Raak] No, it doesn't come in a can. Shouts of rage from the epicureans.
It's not preserved; it doesn't have to be kept cool; and it is not ham or salami (or any kind of sausage). I feel like I must be missing something obvious, but I am stuck.
[Raak] Not prosciutto, but some appreciation from the audience. [Rosie] Not a slice of bacon. Someone in the audience has produced a foldable diagram of a pig and is attempting to make a point by pointing at it. [Radox the Green] Yes, it does have a foreign name. Cries of "Sacre bleu !" and some laughter from the audience. [CdM] Mycroft is consulted and states, "Between the fridge and the plate there is preparation. It's called 'cuisine' in the places I patronise, and may be classed as having been ... 'processed'." [Chalky] Back on the right track, but not right yet. Some audience applause. [Raak] Not lard - I think you realised that... [Simons Mith] No. Hoots from the epicureans.
[Omnes] The reply to Radox above should be interpreted as an AOTC that is not in English. So it's not spare ribs, not a meat pie floater, but could be a kebab (although it isn't).
[Chalky] Not a confit. [Raak] Refrigeration is a bit of a red herring when taken to such lengths. I have known this to come from the pig within a day or so, though not in the UK, but modern practice will presumably demand tracing the chain of cold between slaughter and serving. [Tuj] No, it isn't Spanish.
[Simons Mith] Lovely pun, if you refer to beef Wellington, but not that at all. [Raak] Often served with the dish, but no alcohol is used in cooking or preparing it. [CdM] JA! it is German. The audience cheer and some ejaculations of "Herr Ober!" and Bier oder Wein, eins muss sein" are heard. [Radox the Green] Very good! If it wasn't for being Italian and made out of veal, that could well have been the answer. Hint: the AOTC does have a veal version as well. The audience are terribly excited.
[Raak] Could I ask a major favour? I have a mathematical problem I think I've solved, but I need someone with a mathematical head to give a thumb-up or a thumbs down, and maybe to insert a few equations translating some of my prose into mathematical language. Would you be willing to help out? I know you've done the odd bit of recreation mathing in the past - there was your paper on Culture orbitals for example. This is another in that vein. I have found your professional email address online, but I wouldn't just fire off a random message without checking first.
[Raak] Not made from the head of a pig. [Chalky] Yes! A schnitzel it is. I was actually looking for "Schweineschnitzel" as schnitzels can be veal, but that will do.
Your order of a finely beaten baton fried in chapelure is now presented to you.
(SM) Related to fiction? NO, it's part of reality. (Tuj) Film? Not that I've heard of, though I know bugger all about films. According to Google there is a film of this name so the answer, strictly, is YES. (Bis) Sky involved? Could be, so YES.
(Raak) NO, not blue sky, literal or metaphoric. (Tuj) In the Bible? Almost certainly, so YES. But again, I am not fully acquainted with The Book. (RtG) Weather phenomenon? NO.
(Raak) Fire and brimstone? NO. (Tuj) In the mind? *a few audience members show signs of amusement* . NO. This objectively exists. (Bis) Heaven? *audience further engrossed*. NO
YES - BISMARCK HAS IT! The AOTC is actually The Night but that's near enough or we'll be here, er, all night. I hand you the illuminated baton - you can switch it off when the light improves.
I reckon this is a THHGTTG "Thumb" in disguise. Anyway, the next card has something that is ABSTRACT but could be argued to be MINERAL. If you look over there, you can see Nadine Dorries performing a mime of the subject in a monokini, as the Mystery Voice announces the answer to the audience.
The massed choirs of the Mothers' Union will now sing the shipping forecast to the tune of "Deutschland über alles".
[Rosie] No. Please pay attention. [Simons Mith] Not a phrase, saying, meme, idiom, slang expression or quotation, except insofar as any arrangement of words as the AOTC be a phrase, saying, etc. [Tuj] Not geographical. Some of the audience shows signs of appreciation. [Raak] That's a miss.
[Simons Mith], [Rosie] - not IN THE SLIGHTEST geographical. [Raak] On the scale of perfect insulation to superconductivity, the AOTC is not to be found.
[Raak] Cold if not working, otherwise quite hot. [Simons Mith] Some people no doubt get turned on by the AOTC, but it isn't anything to do with emotions.
With only the ripple of the water and the occasional twig snapped by the camouflaged men and women engaged in this ancestral sport, one can hear the peeps and squawks of the unsuspecting newts.
[Rosie] The metal objects ARE steam engines, at least some of them are. The two remaining audience members offer polite applause. Now what is the abstract thing associated with this discovery?
Beclad in waders and an intense expression, Mrs Fortescue pounces and the net comes up in with not one newt but two! Perfect position and movement of the net has certainly won points from the judges.
We interrupt that fascinating duel between man and amphibian to bring you an update on the age of President Biden - 29,522 days, 16 hours, and 32 minutes. These figures may change.
[Raak] [Raak bis] Well, given the slow progress on this one I was considering whether I should accept that as an answer. However I have said that there is no 'p' in the answer and therefore I have to refuse. But you're very close. Alternatively, you are very far away, it depends on your point of view.
Our next program, 'Obviously', where all those topics we all know stand to reason will be aired, will come this time on location from the top of the Clapham omnibus, and we'll be answering listener questions. This will be followed at six-thirty by News and Bother with Maureen Lipman.
[Raak] No. [Simons Mith] No. [Projoy] No. Hint: the 'trainspotting' guess could have been accepted. What do aficionados do, or what is the content of their leisure activity?
This question comes from a Mrs Trellis of North Wales. She writes, "Dear Obviously, it seems quite clear that the demistrile under Hardinge's Loop conditions leads only to a stalemate. Why does nobody seem to realise this?" Well obviously Mrs Trellis, that isthe solution to more than one tricky position in the second quadrant. But since Hardinge was once a member if the Socialist Party, his games have been unanalysed for some decades.
A Mr R.S. of Westminster writes: "Dear elector, the past three years have been one of growing prosperity for the UK. Crime has dropped, business confidence has grown, and we are now sending refugees to Rwanda. Surely it stands to reason that you want this to continue?" We reply:to Mr R.S. that it's not quite as obvious as all that!
[Raak] Not graffiti. But you're right to say that the content of their activity is spotting trains. We're just looking for the right way of putting it. Hint - film name.
It's 8:05, which means it's time for a timecheck. It's 8:05 and 8:06 is forecasted to occur within forty seconds. Let's wait and see how that turns out, hey?
[Raak] Yes. Genteel applause. [Rosie] Hi, Rosie, nice to see you back in the game. Please look a page or so above for the answer to your question.
What a surprise, it's 8:06. Different day, same time, but you can't step in the same stream twice unless you run quickly. Now an interview with an elephant that has forgotten! In this case to turn up for the interview. Hello, Nelly, are you there? [Silence.]
I'm going to hand this over to VAR owing to the closeness of 'trainspotting' before, if someone doesn't get this soon. [Raak] No, we had that one. [Chalky] No. [Simons Mith] Not model trains.
And that's it folks, this program is now closed owing to further notice.
[Rosie] Nope. Anyway the entity known as Raak is declared the winner for getting "Trainspotting", whether or not it has a 'p' in it. The AO(T)C was "Closely Observed Trains", but the direction you were coming from, allied to how close "trainspotting" actually was, as well as the usual quantity of lines drawn and etceteras, means that VAR has forced my hand. Take this telescopic baton and go on to better things.
[Tuj] The less misleading answer is no, not unique. (A pedant in the audience gets to his feet and begins, "Actually..." The chair cuts him off with, "We've read that Wikipedia article too, and yes, you have a point, but the answer stands.")
[B] Yes! Partly, it does represent an animal. [B] No! It is not made of wood. [T] It could be smaller or larger than a toaster. [T] Not yet. Maybe if we're still on this by Christmas.
To get past the awkwardness of the uniqueness thing, I retroactively declare that we are looking for the unambiguously unique, physical, original object, which indeed in part represents a human, was created in a known year, etc. Clue: not many people have seen the original, and I can find no information about whether it even still exists.
Is it the photograph of the Tiananmen Square protestor and tanks?
Hail Radox! I note that the aforementioned Wikipedia has a "List of photographs considered the most important", though I'd think we're a few weeks away from recourse to that.
What springs to mind is either the photo of the Montparnasse train crash, although it doesn't have anybody on it, and the Conan Doyle 'fairies at the bottom of the garden' photo, but that has a whole person, not part of one, so I'm going to ask if the photo was taken before 1930?
[P] Not Miss Napalm 1972. Remember, this was not created to be a record of something. [RtG] Not a record sleeve, or anything else to do with "records" in that sense.
Sorry, I missed Boolbar and Simons: [B] The person's face is visible. (Knowing murmurs from the audience.) [SM] Not scientific (but approving murmurs from the audience).
[SM] It is not, but that's on me for not having any previous knowledge of a landform called Lord Hereford's Knob. [b] It...certainly protrudes from it, but no, more localised than that.
[blamelewis] Aye! It is indeed Arthur’s Seat. Take these bagpipes and a sturdy pair of hiking boots, and either play to the wind or chuck them off the top, I guess.
[Tuj] Not aware of any of them going by Arthur. [Raak] Not an individual. [Projoy] 25 more guesses. [Simons] Possibly, but it's not a regular part of the human diet. Also lots of people would be quite cross.
[RTG] No! [g] No! or, by a certain reading of that sentence, Yes! *the audience mutter amongst themselves about different meanings of the word 'act'* [R] No!
[B] No! [R] I think No! is the clearest answer here, though there's certainly an interpretation of that question which could yield a Yes!.*the audience, clearly a pleasantly diverse group of thinkers, politely interlocute about the meanings the words "assembly" and "together" can have*
[R] No! [P1] No! *a large proportion of the audience goes ooh!* [SM] No! Either I've forgotten it, or that's before my time... [P2] No! *a smaller number of oohs from the audience, but also some eye-rolling ;)*
[C] No! *a few audience members over-excitedly swoon* [SM] No! [P] No! So the answer would be... "not the answer"? I think what I've set is much more straightforward than that, but time will tell :D