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King AVMA the III
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Finally inheriting the title after 70 years.
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Train Livery?
Model trains?
Can trains be supermodels? I am trying not to picture a 4-4-2 Atlantic strutting down a catwalk
What a surprise, it's 8:06. Different day, same time, but you can't step in the same stream twice unless you run quickly. Now an interview with an elephant that has forgotten! In this case to turn up for the interview. Hello, Nelly, are you there? [Silence.]
I'm going to hand this over to VAR owing to the closeness of 'trainspotting' before, if someone doesn't get this soon.
[Raak] No, we had that one.
[Chalky] No.
[Simons Mith] Not model trains.
Train drivers?
Is it to do with filming or photographing trains?
Or simulating them?
[Raak] Not really.
[Projoy] Yes, there is a link.
[Projoy] Not intentionally but by extension, possibly
A footplate video?
And that's it folks, this program is now closed owing to further notice.
[Rosie] Nope.
Anyway the entity known as Raak is declared the winner for getting "Trainspotting", whether or not it has a 'p' in it. The AO(T)C was "Closely Observed Trains", but the direction you were coming from, allied to how close "trainspotting" actually was, as well as the usual quantity of lines drawn and etceteras, means that VAR has forced my hand. Take this telescopic baton and go on to better things.

Ok, well then...
MINERAL with ABSTRACT and ANIMAL connections.
Does it begin with P?
No faffing.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
Is it unique?
Tis better to bounce than flounce.
[Tuj] The less misleading answer is no, not unique. (A pedant in the audience gets to his feet and begins, "Actually..." The chair cuts him off with, "We've read that Wikipedia article too, and yes, you have a point, but the answer stands.")
The fossil of a conodont tooth?
[Bismarck] Not that Wikipedia article.
(Addendum to previous) But on the other hand it is a definite specific thing.
Is it entirely metal?
A prosthetic device?
[Tuj] Entirely non-metal.
[Rosie] Not a prosthetic.
Is it a building?
[Chalky] Not a building.
Would it float?
The very original of it that the pedant above tried to bring up might indeed float. But the thing is otherwise not something that can float or sink.
I am also thinking that "yes" and "no" are both misleading answers to the uniqueness question.
Recap
So far we know that it doesn't begin with 'P', isn't metallic and not a building.
Does this represent an animal?
Is it made out of wood?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
And, if Bismarck is declaring this a double round: Are you regretting your selection yet?
[B] Yes! Partly, it does represent an animal.
[B] No! It is not made of wood.
[T] It could be smaller or larger than a toaster.
[T] Not yet. Maybe if we're still on this by Christmas.
Is it a heraldic device?
[SM] Not an heraldic device.
Is it associated with a particular nation?
[T] Yes, associated with a particular nation.
Is there more than one animal connected?
[SM] Just one animal.
The animal might be the Great Seal of the Pres of the US of A, maybe?
[RtG] Not the Great Seal.
Are there statues of it?
[T] No statues.
Does it make a sound?
[P] It does not make a sound.
Was it invented/first created in a particular known year?
[T] Yes, the original object was created in a known year.
Is the animal human?
[R] The animal is human.
Is it a flag or crest?
[T] Not a flag or a crest.
To get past the awkwardness of the uniqueness thing, I retroactively declare that we are looking for the unambiguously unique, physical, original object, which indeed in part represents a human, was created in a known year, etc. Clue: not many people have seen the original, and I can find no information about whether it even still exists.
Related to money?
[SM] Not related to money (except insofar as everything is).
Is the person famous?
Yes, they are somewhat famous. (Audience goes hmm.)
Was the original made within the last 200 years?
[SM] Yes, made in the last 200 years.
Is it an item of clothing?
The original Oscar?
[T] Not clothing.
[RtG] Not the Oscar.
But is it art?
[T] Is not everything art, rightly considered? No, not art, although much artifice went into making it.
Is this object medically aligned?
[SM] Not medical.
Is it a photograph?
[RtG] applause!! It is a photograph!
Is it the photograph of the Tiananmen Square protestor and tanks?
Hail Radox! I note that the aforementioned Wikipedia has a "List of photographs considered the most important", though I'd think we're a few weeks away from recourse to that.
[T] Not Tiananmen.
[all] Not on Wikipedia's "List of photographs considered the most important".
Does the Mineral part of the AOTC refer to the photograph itself, or is there something mineral in the photograph we should identify?
[S] The MINERAL refers to the photograph itself, although there are things in it that are also mineral.
Has it featured in memes?
[P] Having googled this, I think it’s fair to say that it has featured in memes.
I am sure it will be instantly recognisable to everyone here.
What springs to mind is either the photo of the Montparnasse train crash, although it doesn't have anybody on it, and the Conan Doyle 'fairies at the bottom of the garden' photo, but that has a whole person, not part of one, so I'm going to ask if the photo was taken before 1930?
[S] Not taken before 1930.
Hint:this thing is not for the purpose of being a record of anything.
Roentgen's first X-ray?
[RtG] Not Roentgen's first X-ray.
Taken this century?
I for one was in shocked silence at that last hint!
[T] Not taken this century.
Is it a photo made with normal light?
[B] Yes, made with normal light.
The "Napalm Girl"?
"Not a 'record' of anything" - is this a record sleeve?
[P] Not Miss Napalm 1972. Remember, this was not created to be a record of something.
[RtG] Not a record sleeve, or anything else to do with "records" in that sense.
A stamp?
[S] Not a stamp.
Is the profession of the human in the photo pertinent?
[SM] Their profession (if any) is not pertinent.
Hint: not even their identity is pertinent.
Was the human alive when the photo was taken?
[S] Alive when the photo was taken. Still is, in fact.
Is there a link to Mornington Crescent?
[B] No link to Mornington Crescent.
Any connect to a sport?
[B] No connection to any sport.
Is this an accidental capture of some kind?
[SM] Not accidental. Very deliberately composed.
Is the face of the human visible?
If not medical, how about scientific?
Very deliberately composed, but not art, and not a record of anything... Yet well-known and memeworthy. That combination's a stumper.
The first AI generated human face?
Doh, no, because human is alive. Forget that.
Is it a deepfake?
[P] Not a deepfake. (Made before this century, it wouldn't be.)
Is the photograph in/of an easily identifiable location?
[C] No identifiable location.
Sorry, I missed Boolbar and Simons:
[B] The person's face is visible. (Knowing murmurs from the audience.)
[SM] Not scientific (but approving murmurs from the audience).
[SM] Your summary is spot on.
Is it Test Card F, featuring Carole Hersee and Bubbles the Clown?
Fanfares! Streamers! Orgies in the aisles! It is indeed Test Card F. Have this chalkboard and stuffed clown to make your very own!
Oh, well, that's embarrassing. Okay. What I have here seems to be mostly MINERAL.
Liquid?
[P] Extremely not liquid.
Gas?
[b] Even less so, I'd say.
Hmm.. tricky. Solid?
[B] As a rock.
A rock?
Unique?
Wow! Congrats both to goldfinch and Raak on that last one
Terrestrial?
A unique terrestrial rock!
[T] v. kind
A valuable mineral?
[R] Its value, while arguably immense, is not primarily monetary in nature.
It is valued for being a site of natural beauty?
[R] It is indeed a site, and sight, of natural beauty.
In North America?
[T] Not in North America
A mountain?
[R] Mindful of pedantry, I’m inclined to say “in the mountain family”.
In England?
[P] No, not in England.
A meteorite crater?
Uluru, formerly known as Ayers Rock?
[B] No meteorites involved, no.
[R] Not Uluru.
Lord Hereford's Knob ?
The Earth?
[SM] It is not, but that's on me for not having any previous knowledge of a landform called Lord Hereford's Knob.
[b] It...certainly protrudes from it, but no, more localised than that.
Does it have a name?
[R] It has a name.
It is some other, er, prominence that has had a song written about it?
[SM] Not famously, if at all (I can’t find any prominent examples)
(That being said, there are nevertheless books, films and poems about it, or in which it features.)
In the British/Irish archipelago?
[P] Yes, in the British Isles
Is it higher than Scafell Pike?
[B] (checks tape measure) lower than Scafell Pike
In Wales?
[P] It's not in Wales.
Is it on a Scottish Island?
[B] It's not on a Scottish island.
Rockall?
[SM] While arguably all rock, it's not Rockall.
Is it in Scotland?
[R] Yes! It’s in Scotland.
The Trossachs ?
Arthur's Seat?
Salisbury Crags?
[blamelewis] Aye! It is indeed Arthur’s Seat. Take these bagpipes and a sturdy pair of hiking boots, and either play to the wind or chuck them off the top, I guess.

Huzzah! Oh gosh, I've got to do one now. Erm... Animal
Named Arthur?
Worth checking
An individual?
Begins with a Q?
Edible?
[Tuj] Not aware of any of them going by Arthur.
[Raak] Not an individual.
[Projoy] 25 more guesses.
[Simons] Possibly, but it's not a regular part of the human diet. Also lots of people would be quite cross.
Typically owned as a pet?
Have they got tails?
[Raak] No.
[Tuj] Yes.
Carnivorous?
A primate?
A rabbi?
[Bismarck] Not carnivorous
[Raak] Not a primate
[Simons] What do you call a rabbit without a tail? No in either case!
An endangered species?
[Raak] Yes!
Terrestrial?
A bird?
[goldfinch] Yes.
[Boolbar] Yes.
Good at sneezing?
Is it a native of the British Isles?
[Simons] Don't think so.
[Raak] No.
Kakapo?
Yes! The amazing, critically endangered Kakapo - well done!
Wow, whoops!

...and on we go! Can you figure out this ABSTRACT next please?
There are connections, strongest mineral, but they're probably safer not mentioned.
Electricity?
Alchemy?
The starter's gun is fired!
[SM] No!
[bl] No!
Death?
Dead as as a doornail. This is entirely mineral.
Does it begin with P?
Oh dear, a false start
I went off before the gun. What do I do, go back two questions?
The trackside officials gather to discuss Simons Mith's reaction time
[R] No!
[B] No! *mutters, booing, some of the audience leave*
A work of conceptual art?
Would this exist if there was no life in the universe?
[R] No! Well, not that I'm aware of - that's the trouble with conceptual art, in theory someone could have declared it to be so...
[B] No!
Would this exist without Christmas?
Would Christmas exist without this?
Yule have to fight the urge to log off, but...
[C] Yes!
[P] Yes!
Is it ephemeral or somehow time-bound?
[g] I'd say ephemeral Yes!, time-bound No!
This is certainly debatable, and indeed the audience are doing so amongst themselves.
A feeling?
Doomscrolling?
[R] No!
[SM] No!
The transit of Venus?
An act performed by humans?
A scientific concept?
[RTG] No!
[g] No! or, by a certain reading of that sentence, Yes! *the audience mutter amongst themselves about different meanings of the word 'act'*
[R] No!
irony?
That's an abstract with metal connections...
Sex?
I can see a mineral connection when it comes to a sticky end.
Is there a particular person associated with the invention/popularisation of this thing?
[SM] No!
[bl] No!
[P] person - No! (But people - Yes!)
Acting?
Is an assembly of people together a necessary element of this thing?
[B] No!
[R] I think No! is the clearest answer here, though there's certainly an interpretation of that question which could yield a Yes!.*the audience, clearly a pleasantly diverse group of thinkers, politely interlocute about the meanings the words "assembly" and "together" can have*
A religion?
Or something connected with religion?
A musical performance?
[C] No!
[P] No!
[SM] No!
Did this thing exist before 1950?
Is it astronomical?
[R] No!
[RTG] No!
Does it exist?
Does it generally require an internet connection?
Social media?
The audience cease conversation and offer applause and vocal encouragement
[P] No! Does not physically exist.
[g] Yes! This would have no existence of any sort without the internet.
[RTG] No!
Cancel culture?
A tweet?
No, not social media... A blog?
An NFT?
Broadband?
[g] No!
[Px2] No!
[Ra] No!
[Ro] No!
Anything to do with marketing?
The great game itself?
Scared to name it in case I end it...
[B] No!
[bl] No! but... *the audience gasp and a couple even clap*
I'm Sorry, I Haven't A Clue??
Since this needs the Internet, could it be a site on which games are played?
[bl] No!
[B] No! but *more scattered applause*
Is it a particular game?
This game of AVMA?
[R] No!
[P] No! but *the audience are making all sorts of appreciative noises*
A game based on ISIHAC?
Wit?
The Morniverse?
The previous crescendo has lessened
[Ro] No!
[Ra] No!
[P] No!
Has it greatly declined from its former glory?
Online chess?
Geocities?
It's all gone rather quiet
[Ra] No!
[Ro] No!
[SM] No!
Is it that thing some people do when they broadcast themselves playing games online?
A speedrun?
10 questions ago you were warm, getting warmer, now it's cold, freezing cold
[S] No!
[R] No!
Hint: just because "The Morniverse" itself wasn't the answer, doesn't mean the AOTC doesn't come from this corner of the internet.
Is it a player's name?
MC5?
[P] No!
[C] No!
Some sort of archive?
"The answer to this clue in AVMA"
The old York Duck Hunt?
All the answers so far in this game that began with the letter P?
Is that... the finish line?
[R] No!
[P1] No! *a large proportion of the audience goes ooh!*
[SM] No! Either I've forgotten it, or that's before my time...
[P2] No! *a smaller number of oohs from the audience, but also some eye-rolling ;)*
The AOTC?
Lord Byron's bicycle?
"Something that is NOT the answer to the current clue in AVMA"?
[C] No! *a few audience members over-excitedly swoon*
[SM] No!
[P] No! So the answer would be... "not the answer"? I think what I've set is much more straightforward than that, but time will tell :D
The previous answer in this game?
The first answer in this game?
The fever pitch is fractionally less febrile
[R] No!
[P] No!
One of the questions asked during a game of AVMA?
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