[Rosie] Yes. The audience wake up. [Raak] Yes. Some claps breaks out in the audience. [Simons Mith] No sitableupon, at least not in intended use. [Tuj] Yes! Audience claps vigorously.
[e.g. the disgraceful lack of toad in the toad in the hole, the misleading provenance (and lack of pork content) of so-called Hamburgers etc. Don't even get me started on Rocky Mountain oysters.]
[Radox the Green] Not soup. [Simons Mith] After reference to Mycroft, the answer is "No". [Boolbar] Yes! Spontaneous hoots break out. [Tuj] Yes, it could have been enjoyed by Napoleon, and may well have been. More muted applause is heard as the audience try and work this out. [Raak] Yes you can eat it in a restaurant, as long as it's on the menu. Some shouts from the audience. [Chalky] Doesn't have to be kept cool, but Raak's restaurant probably does store it there. Audience is generally approving.
[Rosie] Yes! whoops and hollers. A small protest by two Vegans based on a mistranslation starts in a corner. [Simons Mith] Mycroft says NO. [CdM] Not, it's fresh. [Raak] Yes! Swine it is. Applause and such.
Hidden textHomer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal. Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
[Rosie] Yes! It is most commonly found on a plate and eaten with knife and fork. [Raak] No. Attention is drifting, some of the audience are arguing about the relative merits of jerked beef and jerked pork. [Radox the Green] Not sweet and sour pork. Audience restive.
[Simons Mith] Good suggestion, but not quite what is the AOTC. The audience are appreciative. [Rosie] That's even better than the previous. But it's not the AOTC. Audience holds its breath. [Raak] No, not salami. Some disgusted looks from the epicureans in the audience. [Chalky] No, nobody has suggested "sausage" yet. (And if I were you, I wouldn't). [Raak] No, it doesn't come in a can. Shouts of rage from the epicureans.
It's not preserved; it doesn't have to be kept cool; and it is not ham or salami (or any kind of sausage). I feel like I must be missing something obvious, but I am stuck.
[Raak] Not prosciutto, but some appreciation from the audience. [Rosie] Not a slice of bacon. Someone in the audience has produced a foldable diagram of a pig and is attempting to make a point by pointing at it. [Radox the Green] Yes, it does have a foreign name. Cries of "Sacre bleu !" and some laughter from the audience. [CdM] Mycroft is consulted and states, "Between the fridge and the plate there is preparation. It's called 'cuisine' in the places I patronise, and may be classed as having been ... 'processed'." [Chalky] Back on the right track, but not right yet. Some audience applause. [Raak] Not lard - I think you realised that... [Simons Mith] No. Hoots from the epicureans.
[Omnes] The reply to Radox above should be interpreted as an AOTC that is not in English. So it's not spare ribs, not a meat pie floater, but could be a kebab (although it isn't).
[Chalky] Not a confit. [Raak] Refrigeration is a bit of a red herring when taken to such lengths. I have known this to come from the pig within a day or so, though not in the UK, but modern practice will presumably demand tracing the chain of cold between slaughter and serving. [Tuj] No, it isn't Spanish.
[Simons Mith] Lovely pun, if you refer to beef Wellington, but not that at all. [Raak] Often served with the dish, but no alcohol is used in cooking or preparing it. [CdM] JA! it is German. The audience cheer and some ejaculations of "Herr Ober!" and Bier oder Wein, eins muss sein" are heard. [Radox the Green] Very good! If it wasn't for being Italian and made out of veal, that could well have been the answer. Hint: the AOTC does have a veal version as well. The audience are terribly excited.