From MCIOS, a couple of days ago, with yours truly, Projoy, Software, Stevie and Chalky providing the lines:
The "Dark Lady", for whom this is written, Is the one with whom I've become smitten. Her sensuous manner With torque wrench and spanner Transformed my once shy to twice bitten.
Just presenting Alternative facts on an Alternative meter with some Alternative rhymes on an Alternative language Mister Putin is truly an arse And fat Donald is playing a farce Mrs. Theresa May Like Frau Merkel’s okay Only Barack and Hill’ry are stars!
Just parlaying my good cheer. (belated Greetings for this new year, Marc.) Though the Bourgeois was played like a chump Knowing the game was rigged in the swamp When the ante got raised On he soldiered, unfazed He called ... and game's won with the Trump.
The crack of doom swallows this world But life to the galaxy's hurled By the might of our powers The stars shall be ours So the crack of doom may have this world.
There once was a virgin who said, "My hymen is safe 'til I'm wed" Though one night in my Chevy When breathing got heavy She lost it, my back seat turned red... Seduction, an old hobby of mine, and another reason for Pen to file complaints?
The day when Washington's drowned under water The politicos may say "We oughta "Have prevented this day!" But I think they'll say "It's just a problem for those that are shorter."
There once was a Kshatriya prince Who was given three reasons to wince: Sickness, death, and old age, But he then met a sage On the Way, which he taught ever since.
While addressing Conservative toffs Mrs May was afflicted with coughs With the aid of an actor It seems Boris sacked her To a mixture of cheers and "**** off"s.
Of Man's First Disobedience I'll write And how from Eden's gate they took flight Blood, toil, tears, and sweat Would be all that they'd get Till a new Adam set things aright.
Fürst Hermann von Pückler-Muskau Came to England in search of a frau He delighted the salons But his mercenary talons Brought him only a scandalous row.
Long, long ago, in days of old A Limerick got chaste by a Knight so bold Neck to neck with him in speed She failed, to outrun his steed T'is why, in nine months time, the Limerick foaled
Long long ago in days of yore Limericks were virginal and pure Then elites took them to bed ...... and chivalry being dead They'll not blush if you call them whore
Not a limerick, but a piece of found poetry from earlier this week (late April) that slotted into a memory of another poem from a long time ago. Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed, Droops on the little hands little gold head. Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares! The Mablethorpe Webcam is Awaiting Repairs.
A backward limerick borrowed from James Hogg A backward young fellow from Chester Didn't know what to do, But then met someone who Adored it when fellows undressed her, A forward young lady from Leicester.
There once was a man with no penis Whose ejaculate was intravenous When he'd built up enough Of all that white stuff, So much for his underwear's cleanness!
[penelope] The version of that I first came across was: Little boy sits at the foot of the bed Absently stroking a golden haired head Oh my, what could be worse? Christopher Robin's been f*cking his nurse
Recently on Ye Twitteres, there was a meme flying around stating "Describe the plot of your favorite movie in a limerick; don't use the title." So... I'm Henry, a king like no other Plagued with sons who'd mutu'lly smother Each one, with bare hands Until one alone stands But you know what's worse? THEIR MOTHER!
I've just heard an unlikely claim That Johnson is changing his name He'll no longer be "Boris" But be known as "Maurice" And spout loads of crap just the same
It's the last Test for Alistair Cook Who can now go and write a large book About caring for sheep With a square leg that's deep And a Gray-Nicolls bat for a crook.
Let's go on a jaunt down to Florida! We'll drive the I-95 corridor And in this big van Go as far as we can Till the neighbours find out that we borrowed 'er.
Rosie, Raak, Software, Pablo, and CdM provided this on this site. Having just read an article on FOMMOG - Fear Of Meeting My Own Goals, which could form a new game - I felt this summed the subject up better than the article.
My mother said I should not Complain of my God-given lot But I feel I'm deprived As I have not arrived Where by now I should surely have got.
In my mind's eye, I see this great wall And behind it we'll have such a ball. It's manned by bald eagles - Keeps us free of illegals - I'll be re-elected next fall!
Building walls is a question of will Which the Dems that are now on the Hill Have never possessed: But mine is the best, And the Chicos are footing the bill!
A good friend of mine told me how The Sixties were better than now: When, with no sense of guilt, His boss had a wall built Round Berlin, by soldiers, from Moscow.
And this one I heard in the Army There was an old man of the Isles Who had measles, consumption and piles On top of all these, Yes - venereal disease You could smell the old bugger for miles.
Found this anonymus pearl at the side of a statue of Winston Churchill: There was a young man from Dundee who said: "They can't do without me. No house is complete, without me and my seat. My initials are W.C." (Must be an alternativa Winston...?)
There's a chap from the Mull of Kintyre Who does dubious things with barbed wire I could tell you a tale That would make you go pale But you'd probably call me a liar.
[Marc] I believe Winston lost the seat of Oldham early in his career, and got 'parachuted' in to represent Dundee as a way of returning to the Commons.