[Mark] If you read again with your eyes open you'll see that at no point did I attribute "the highland one" to you. I just said, rightly, that it had been turned into near gibberish by eschewing the needs of the language it was written in in order to make its "joke". This is one of the criteria laid out for bad poetry in The Stuffed Owl; an anthology of bad verse. In point of fact I didn't think the idea was strong enough to warrant the energy needed to write it, but I never blamed you for it. I did out penelope as not the author of "tattooed barmaid", with the same comment I made the last time it surfaced in the wild.
"I've checked, and you've no magic wand So I don't think that you will abscond Since you're fastened down tight Under my laser light I expect you to die, Mr Bond!"
"How on earth did you ever get free? Never mind, makes no difference to me. Fort Knox is your tomb You're about to go "boom" Mr Bond as you clearly can see"
"Damn and blast, you escaped once again! This is getting too much. What a pain. Please throw Mr Bond In that bottomless pond Wrapped in twenty five feet of steel chain!"
"No more "watch" Mr Bond, no more "keys" I'll take both your "shoes" if you please And your "belt". And your "Hat". And your oiled "cricket bat" Time to die. We are done with strip tease."
"And now into the chamber you go Where two quarts of nitro will blow As the cyanide gas, Whirling blades and ground glass Make an end to you Bond, don't you know?"
"Hahaha! There Bond lies burned and torn No escapes. No more jokes old and worn. Wait? What's this I see On his singed laund-ery? It's a tag. And it reads 'Jason Bourne'!"