The Ig Nobel prizes are also summarised in Limerick form. Among many I liked this one: It repeats every word that you say, But after a tiny delay. A more irksome machine Has never been seen. It's SpeechJammer. Buy one today!
I once wished my daughter had listened To advice, but instead her eyes glistened With adult desire. Now her boyfriend's a sire, And on Sunday my grandson gets christened
Our Boris is back in the saddle While Gove's up shit creek with no paddle And so come what May At the reckoning day They will meet their fates in the Eubattle.
A mathematical one I got from years back, no idea where from:
6,129,872,700,011.97425683
Six trillion one hundred and twenty Nine billion eight hundred and seventy Two million and seven Hundred thousand eleven Point nine seven four two five six eight three
Who wrote this one? In the Highlands when new moon is full Little lassies will give a hand pull After while they will suck And if you are in luck You may mount them in kilts made of wool.
Bism, that's from Martin Gardner. Stop me if you've heard this one I bought the new iPhone today, Which shortly filled me with dismay For its sister, the "Six", Does all the same tricks, But with headphones that you won't mislay.
[Marc] You wrote it here, Marc. I see that it's down to your usual standard. Do you think you will ever be able to make a post on this server that is not smutty or misogynistic or lewd?
[Pen] You are probably right and I will never be able to reach your supreme level. It is a pity though that you don't post more than once a year or so... This is yours from 2012 by the way: On the chest of a barmaid from Sale Were tattooed all the prices of ale And on her behind For the sake of the blind Was the same information in braille.
So that was my forty-ninth summer And winter draws on, what a bummer! With each passing week A new joint will creak And my toes will get number and number.