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Limerick Showcase
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A chance for players to showcase whole limericks for amusement & edification. Standard winning move for the purposes of euthanasia.
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[CdM]
Hidden textOn reflection, I don't think I've ever seen a book of great works reduced to a Limerick abstract. Might I venture Limeriture, Limarature , Limericture or Literick as a working title?

[Phil, CdM] Do! Literick Limerature I Have Known or Literick Limeratures Down The Ages. Brilliant. Must try to get my head round one.
[Phil, pen] Well, the best example I know is by Wendy Cope.
Hidden textQuite what Wendy Cope is doing on a Best American Poetry< site is a mystery to me
On the other hand, she required five limericks for a single work, so we are clearly five times as good.

Also, I should note that while Phil, I and particularly Raak have been the most prolific on this theme, Kim supplied a nice entry as well, and there might be others I am forgetting.

The Brangwens, when women in love
Symbolically raven and dove
One craved adoration
Her kin, confrontation
So tragic - when push came to shove.

On a topical note:
We all know that roses are red,
And violets are blue, it is said.
But this lovesick old rogue
Thinks like Kylie Minogue
And I can't get you out of my head

Reposting from MCiOS's "HULK NEGOTIATE!":
What a wonderful verse form is this!
Sonneteers can all go take a piss!
Short, merry, and sweet
And as fast as bird's tweet
With my lady it surely can't miss!


My wife is a Lady, I think,
Cause her knickers are narrow, and pink
On the rim there is lace,
On the bottoms a trace,
Of the finest of beaver and mink.


On the ides of March Caesar was slain
"Et tu, Brute!" he cried out in vain
But Mark Antony knew
How the public to woo
The conspirators died for their gain.

Here's one I wrote on the Google game at MCiOS, in response to "beer limericks".
On the thirty-first day of December
I drank seventeen pints of Knee-Trembler
(I had to -- any less wouldn't scan)
I then climbed a tree
And took a long pee
That was certainly one to remember!

Off the top of my head, as a month has passed:
When I hear Lenny Henry (that crooner)
Say a word like "safari", I'd sooner,
That a language so maimed
By a Brummie, be named
"Dudley Bantu" by Reverend Spooner.


On a tree by a river - Tom-tit
Sang of willows, tit-willows, a bit
When a gurgle he gave
And plunged into his grave
The Mikado became a huge hit

A dog is a fine friendly fellow
Even if his fur is yellow
Yet when his bark is loud
It scares the whole crowd
And makes most of them mellow.

A salty old sailor once said
If I never had sex I’d be dead
Cause I’ve sailed seven seas,
And I’ve ate all my peas,
And I'm really quite horny when fed.

One from the last pilg, which is a little mucky, but definitely stuck in my mind:
Traversing the Cam in a punt
I performed an incredible stunt
I spun round the pole
Did an eskimo roll
While pleasuring Jeremy Hunt


The question of whether to live
Resolves all my thoughts like a sieve
If this too solid flesh
Were dissolved in a mess
There would be no goddammit to give.


As I went out one Saturday night
I'm embarrassed to tell you my plight
But my belt buckle broke
And I mooned a poor bloke
So he screamed and then ran out of sight

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