Don't believe everything that you hear Unless told at a pint of good beer If it's Guinness you’ll know She confirms she's aglow When she nibbles the lobe of your ear.
Antonio's ships come to naught So by Shylock's harsh contract he's caught But he proves black is white And the court finds him right So he walks, leaving Shylock distraught.
There once was a man from Siberia Who excelled by so many criteria Still, his wit and his style Were surpassed by a mile By his fetchingly sculpted posterior
That night when we danced on the roof We just did not want it to poof So we took off our shoes, Danced away all our blues, Then I saw your left foot was a hoof....
A gay friend proposed that we wed It’s the perfect solution, he said We’d save on our taxes And still we’d have access To whomever we wanted in bed.
We both love collecting antiques And cooking with garlic and leeks You write and I edit! And with our tax credit We can wine dine and travel for weeks
And I thought, well—he laughs at my jokes He’s more civilized than other blokes He knows about money He’s cute as a bunny And I do get on well with his folks.
And so I agreed that we’d marry He designed the bouquet that I’ll carry! He picked me fab shoes And booked us a cruise And a bridesmaid -- an old queen called Barry.
Now I don't need to mow or to leaf rake There's an all-you-can-eat plate of beef cake Parading the house Where I live with my spouse Such bliss -- and it comes with a tax break!
[Raak] Nice translation. But I thought I should post the original.
Ce bonhomme, nommé Swann, qui voulût Que nous sussions sa vie et que nous Ne perdissions pas même Une miette de ses thèmes… Hélas! Il se souvînt de tout
There once was a virgin who said: "My hymen is safe 'til I'm wed", Though one night in my Chevy, When breathing got heavy, She lost it, my back seat turned red.