Although all the lassies protest, They love when you’re kissing their breast, And caress, ‘you know what’, While you’re rubbing their butt, Then they let you go South heading West.
A golfer once said to his caddy, “You know that I could be your daddy, Cause I courted your ma, When I caddied your pa, Though to score was your own Uncle Paddy.”
Her stern was much wider than her aft Though her starbord side looked like a raft But the width of her gunwales And fill of her mainsails Made her deepness the same as her draught
When I hear Cliff sing "Mistletoe And Wine" it makes me want to throw Up into a bucket But then I think. "**** it, There's only five more weeks to go!"
To deal with a shrew needs no guess I know just the thing that works best At first she said "No!" And again she said "No!" But at last she said "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"
Eye of newt, wool of bat, hubble bubble The Thane's hopes shall all come to rubble By lying with truth He'll do deeds that aren't couth Banquo's line shall outlive all his trouble.
The answer the great men had sought Was given, at last, by Deep Thought But the question, it seems Is concealed in our dreams And can't be begged, stolen or bought
Don't believe everything that you hear Unless told at a pint of good beer If it's Guinness you’ll know She confirms she's aglow When she nibbles the lobe of your ear.
Antonio's ships come to naught So by Shylock's harsh contract he's caught But he proves black is white And the court finds him right So he walks, leaving Shylock distraught.
There once was a man from Siberia Who excelled by so many criteria Still, his wit and his style Were surpassed by a mile By his fetchingly sculpted posterior