I regularly experience feelings of Lochness.

[Dunx] The latest theories in quantum apiology demonstrate that bumble bees cannot exist in a solitary state - they are always in a diapis form, known as the 2bee. On observing the diapis, the waveform collapses into either a present bee or the not present bee, in other words 2bee or not2bee.

Ibid is an unacknowledged genius. And Icelandic.

[Ibid] Ah - that explains a lot.

My parents were professional drinks coasters.

[Projoy] What a coincidence - my parents used to surf in a pint of Guinness left at the back table of the snug of the Kings Toenail pub in Wigan.

Spoons call lying snugly together "peopling"

Rambert Dance Company is a hotbed of satanism.

There are no suspicious practicioners of satanic square dancing across the road fom me. I am not scared.

As well as writing a Left-Hand Concerto for Paul Wittgenstein, who lost his arm in the war, Maurice Ravel wrote a No-Hands Concerto in G, in which the unfortunate amputee soloist prevails upon a fellow pianist to pick out the notes on his behalf.

[Pace BTG and Projoy] I often experience feelings of Lochnesslessness.

I have never experienced writer's blo

Labrador retrievers are entirely composed of tuna fish sandwiches

Marie Stopes wore the same body stocking for the whole of her thirties.

Body stocking is widely frowned upon by the authorities.

This week is National Spot the Aardvark week.

*points at Projoy* You have been spotted.

I have decided not to participate in National Spot the Aardvark week because my paint has dried up.

Swordmakers have discovered a fabulous new alloy based on sponge cake, which is stronger, lighter, and more delicious than anything based on steel. However, the more traditional swordsmiths have refused to use this alloy since it would render the phrase "a taste of cold steel" meaningless.